Headline

Opinion: The Agony of Monogamy

Published

6 years ago

July 2, 2018

Eric

By Tola Adeniyi

It was at the church service for the 90th birthday of the legendary matriarch of the Awolowo dynasty, Dr. Hannah Idowu Dideolu Awolowo, in Ikenne, Ogun State that the thoughts that prompted this article began. Some well known highly placed gentlemen and their wives were called upon to partake in the wine sipping, bread breaking ritual called Holy Communion. As soon as these respectable ladies and gentlemen, all of them past age 70, and amongst whom were renowned professors, high court judges, legal luminaries and business moguls, finished their spiritual blessing and were returning to their seats, they caught a pitiable sight in their over-flowing garb of hypocrisy.

They wore forlorn mien plastered with furrowed frowned faces like some one afflicted with putrid smell of heavy dose of fart. They looked as if they were mourning a three-year-old boy mistakenly killed by his own father, or the passing of a poor woman who has just succumbed to excruciatingly painful cancer.

They clung to their wives as if they were newly wedded. I temporarily forgot that I was in a holy Church, the spiritual enclave of Christians. I almost laughed my head off because I knew each of the ‘holy’ ‘monogamous’ men intimately and by Jove, I knew of their second, third or fourth wives/liaisons/mistresses with whom they had sired several children. To the whole world they were champions of monogamy, but to their hearts and conscience they were celebrated polygamists, or at best, serial monogamists. Pshaw!

I saw pain written all over them, the agony of living a lie, the unease of hypocrisy, and the shame of going through life pretending to be what you are not.

This is the sort of agony a lot of the so-called monogamists go through all their lives. The series of lies they sell to their wives, and the double life they present to their pastors and church leaders, most of whom are actually equally guilty of hypocrisy and double life living.

This piece is not set out to condemn or criticise monogamy. Monogamy is perfect for those who believe in its concept and can genuinely keep to it. I too have been married to one lovely woman for almost 45 years and it has been like a marriage made in heaven. I happen also to be the promoter along with some friends the 35-year-old Family Club of Nigeria which is dedicated to the upliftment and celebration of marriage and family values.

The article is designed to expose the hypocrisy and pain associated with embracing false notions which are really not observed by any culture in the world, and to advise those who erroneously sentence themselves to a life of sadness and emptiness because they were deceived to believe that there is some utopia somewhere called monogamy.

I am very much aware that this article will generate a lot of controversy, most especially from those who live holier-than-thou life and have continued to deceive the world that they are upholders of a doctrine that is not supported by true and enlightened interpretation of any religious doctrine.

The white men, I am yet to see any human being whose skin colour is like that of chalk, came and told the unfortunate lands they invaded that the cherished cultures, traditions and religions of such lands were rubbish, and instead indoctrinated them with values which they themselves never believed in or truly practiced. We know of King Henry Vlll, and several major historical figures in ‘Christian’ Europe who had more than one wife in addition of a string of wives who their ‘laws’ forbade them to address as wives but who nonetheless perform all the functions of wife minus name.

God bless President Mitterrand who openly confessed to having two women in his life, with the one in the other house with whom he fathered an 18-year-old daughter at the time he passed on.

I have schooled, worked and lived virtually in all the continents of the world and I make bold to say with all emphasis at my disposal that no culture on planet earth truly practices monogamy. My Greek, Italian, Russian, British, American and other Caucasians routinely visit their other wives [called by other names] with whom they have children. But back in the homes shared with the one carrying the ring, they are monogamists!

If God had wanted humanity to be monogamous He or She would not have made the pigeon the only monogamous creature.

The cultures that practice polygamy had always known that at any given time, the number of available marriageable women far out number available men plus the fact that an 80-year-old man, if he has money, is still very much in the market whereas a 60-year-old woman may not be that lucky. The biological limitation to a woman’s productive age is also a factor. Why should a woman therefore remain on the shelf till age 45 when she could jolly well get married as second or sixth wife to a man who can afford to share life’s responsibilities with her? Why should a woman leave a man with whom she is No 1, simply because took a second wife and end up being numberless in the hands of several men with whom she naturally shares bed just because of some doctrine she hardly understands?

All the women who should go and marry but are saying they do not want to share their man with another woman in a polygamous setting, are sharing current boyfriends with several other women. Where is the logic?

The argument that children in a polygamous house are always at each other’s throat does not hold water. Many siblings of monogamous families are known to have had worse and irresolvable, irreconcilable squabble, with dirty bitterness over inheritance than children from different mothers.

The agony suffered by both men and women in the hand of unnatural laws and doctrines is too stifling for comfort. In 2002, five hundred and two Reverend mothers were reported to have died while procuring abortion in Rome. Nigerian Tribune wrote an editorial on the unfortunate incident. And stories of Reverend fathers having children and sodomising young men in their care are legion! Why the hypocrisy? Why should the world continue to live the life of Ostrich?

A well known Nigerian journalist hid his other wives from his wife because his religion would not permit of it and his wife, living in monogamy should not hear of it. At his funeral 9 Funeral Service programmes by his 9 wives surfaced and the woman parading the ring collapsed. It was the grace of God that prevented double interment that day!

The Western world which had not learnt the art of living amicably with more than one partner under the same roof has indulged in multiple serial marriages, divorcing innocent wives under flimsy excuses so that another woman can move in should not be measure of standard for the world. Thank God Mrs Hillary Clinton in the US and Mrs Cook in England were very much wiser. They refused to allow some indiscretion on the part of their husbands to ruin their marriages.

There was a well known American actor who passed on about a decade ago and all his 11 ex-wives with their numerous children attended his funeral. To ridicule the lie of their hypocritical existence, all the women were recognised and addressed as wives. As far as records show, the man had 11 wives!

Society must rethink this issue of pretentious monogamy vis-à-vis polygamy so that in the not-too-distant future we do not end up with millions of unmarried women whose life style would be worse than prostitutes’ and millions of children whose fathers would be nowhere to be found.

Headline

Prerogative of Mercy: Osun Gov Pardons 53 Convicts

Published

2 hours ago

December 26, 2024

Eric

The Governor of Osun State, Ademola Adeleke, has exercise his powers of prerogative of mercy, pardoning 53 convicted inmates, including a young man sentenced to death for ‘stealing fowl’.

The governor made this known via a tweet on his official X handle with the title, PREROGATIVE OF MERCY EXTENDED TO 53 CONVICTS.

The governor noted as follows:

In line with the recommendations of the State Advisory Council on Prerogative of Mercy and in exercise of the power conferred on me by paragraph (a), (c) and (d) of subsection (i) of section 212 of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, 1999 (As Amended), I am pleased to extend my grace and mercy unto 53 convicts serving various convictions within the Nigerian Correctional Service.

In the case of inmates convicted of simple offences, I have decided in accordance with the said recommendation to remit and forgive the remainder of the said sentences of the following 30 (thirty ) inmates in whole.

1. OLUBO SUNDAY
2. ISAH UMAR BIODUN
3. FAWAS KAREEM
4. OMIRIN TEMITAYO
5. OLARENWAJU AYOMIDE
6. DARE SUNDAY
7. OLADAPO TUNDE
8. GANIYU SAHEED
9. ADEWUMI SODIQ
10. ADEBAYO ADEOYE
KEHINDE
11. LASIS KAZEEM
12. DAUDA OJO (59 YEARS)
13. ISMAILA RAJI
14. OSENI MICHEAL
15. AJAYI KOREDE
16. ABIONA NURUDEEN
17. OSHI SAMUEL
18. SHEU YUSUF OLATUNJI
19. OJO AANU
20. MUSTAPHA KEHINDE
21. LASIS ABEEB
22. ALEXANDRA IORLAHA
23. OJO TAIWO
24. AZEEZ MUJEEB
25. AKINYEMI DAVID
26. ADEOSUN ADEKUNLE
27. OLAOBAJU SAMUEL
28. ADURA ADEFEMI
29. PAUL BASIL
30. KUNLE DAVID

I have also decided in accordance with the said recommendation to grant outright pardon to the following 12 (Twelve) inmates convicted of simple offences.

1. OLABOMIJI NURUDEEN
2. MUSTAPHA ISAH
3. OLALEKAN ABDULLAHI
4. AYOMIDE OLOJEDE
5. AKEEM RAPHAEL
6. ADEYEMI ABIODUN
7. OLADIPUPO SEGUN
8. OMISAKIN SUNDAY
9. ADEMOLA ADIO
10. TUNDE OLAPADE
11. LATE CHIEF WOLE OLA
RUFUS OJO
12. OMOLOYE OLAJIDE
OLAYEMI

In the case of the following 6 (Six) Convicts sentenced to death, I have approved the commutation of their sentence from death to outright release while OJEKUNLE TIMOTHY has his sentence commuted from death sentence to 15 (Fifteen) years imprisonment having spent at least 10 (ten) years in custody.

1 OLUWAFEMI FAGBEMI
2 BEWAJI SUNDAY
3. AMEHIN GEORGE
4. AYOMIDE ARULOGUN
5. TAIWO OLUWATOBI STEPHEN
6. ABUBAKAR ABDULAZEEZ

The following 4 (Four) Convicts also have their sentences commuted from death sentence to outright pardon.

1. SUNDAY MORAKINYO
2. SEGUN OLOWOOKERE
3. TUNDE OLAPADE
4. DEMOLA ODEYEMI

Headline

Amnesty Demands Probe of Military Airstrike in Sokoto Communities

Published

5 hours ago

December 26, 2024

Eric

Amnesty International (AI) has urged the Federal government to conduct a comprehensive, independent, and impartial investigation into a military airstrike that killed at least 10 people in two communities in Silame Local Government Area of Sokoto State.

The human rights organization called on President Bola Tinubu to promptly set up an independent inquiry into the tragic incident.

Amnesty emphasized that if investigations point to criminal responsibility, the authorities must ensure that those indicted are prosecuted in fair and transparent trials, adhering to international human rights standards.

Amnesty International criticized the Nigerian military for what it described as a consistent pattern of neglect in investigating airstrikes and other violent incidents that have repeatedly endangered civilian populations.

The organization noted that this lack of accountability has fostered a climate of fear among villagers, who live under the constant threat of recurring attacks.

“These incidents have created a vicious cycle of violence and insecurity for communities, and this must not be allowed to continue,” the statement said.

Amnesty also highlighted the need for justice and effective remedies for the victims and their families, including compensation and psychological support.

They stressed that the government’s response must go beyond investigations to address the systemic failures that enable such incidents.

The call comes amid growing concerns about civilian casualties resulting from military operations in Nigeria, raising questions about the rules of engagement and the transparency of the country’s security forces.

Observers note that accountability for military actions is critical to restoring public trust and ensuring the protection of human rights.

Amnesty’s statement underscores the urgency of addressing these systemic issues to prevent further tragedies and uphold the fundamental rights of affected communities.

The Federal government has yet to respond to Amnesty International’s demands.

Headline

The Travails of Dele Farotimi – Out But Gagged –

Published

2 days ago

December 24, 2024

Eric

By Eric Elezuo

Following an X post by a former presidential candidate of the African Action Congress (AAC), Omoyele Sowore, on Tuesday, embattled human rights lawyer, Mr. Dele Farotimi, has finally been released from prison, having met his N30 million bail bond condition. Other requirements for the bail included two sureties, one of whom must be a property owner, a submission of Farotimi’s passport and a prohibition of Farotimi granting media interviews once released.

He wrote, “I am pleased to report that Dele Farotimi is no longer being held at the prison yards in Ekiti State, and is now returning home to Lagos.

“The struggle continues! Happy holidays to you all!”Farotimi has been held in Ekiti Correctional Centre since his arrest on December 3 over alleged defamation charges brought against by another lawyer, Prof Afe Babalola.

Farotimi, on July 2, 2024, released a 116-page book titled Nigeria and Its Criminal Justice System, setting the stage for a clash of interest resulting in petitions, persecutions, prosecutions and gagging of privileges and rights.

Peter Obi, the former presidential candidate of the Labour Party at the 2023 ele tions, and a political ally of Farotimi, had volunteered to assist in helping embattled lawyer meet his bail conditions.

Though Farotimi is out of prison, he is a gagged man as he is not permitted to speak about his experiences to the media, and has his movements curtailed as his passport has been withdrawn from him.

Dele Farotimi, a legal practitioner of repute, has been a human rights activist for as long as he has been a lawyer, even longer, but never in the history of his practice or profession, has he been so inundated by crises as he is facing presently. This is as a result of the publication and circulation of his new book, The Nigerian Justice System, recently.

The book received a reserved condemnation from revered legal luminary, Prof Afe Babalola, who is also the Founder of Afe Babalola University in Ekiti State. And ever since, Farotimi has known no peace as he had been a tenant of the Ekiti State Police Command, and lately, the state’s correction centre, where he was remanded by the court, and later released on bail.

Prof Babalola had complained the a portion of the book, had defamed his person and integrity, alleging that he compromised the Supreme Court, prompting him to write a petition to the Police, who swiftly picked up Farotimi in hid Lagos home, and whisked him away to Ado Ekiti, Ekiti State, where it is a crime to defame an individual.

The Ekiti State Police Command insisted that the human rights lawyer refused to honour invitations, giving rise to the commando fashion with which they stormed his home and took him away even as criticisms continued to trail the style of the arrest, and Police continuous denial of using unconventional means to execute the arrest.

“We got a petition from a complainant against him, ordering the publication of false news to cause fear and alarm in the public. And that is contrary to and punishable under Section 59 of the Criminal Code. And also the publication of defamatory matter, which is also contrary to Section 375 of the Criminal Code. That was the petition we got.“And after all the means used to give him a fair hearing to come and explain himself were unsuccessful, we got a court order. The command obtained a court order before proceeding to arrest him.“He was only arrested after all attempts to make him come and explain himself proved abortive. He has been investigated and the case is already in court.

“He was only arrested after all attempts to make him come and explain himself proved abortive. He has been investigated and the case is already in court,” the Command’s Public Relations Officer, Sunday Abutu, explained.

But Farotimi’s lawyer, Temitope Temokun, countered the Police statement, saying his client was never invited by the Command

“He was invited by Zone 2 on two occasions, and he went there.

“But why would you be inviting somebody to Ekiti from Lagos on something that happened in Lagos? However, he was never invited, and if he had been invited, as a lawyer, I would advise him not to go.”

The situation erupted a discourse on various fora, further questioning the the credibility of the already discredited judiciary before some Nigerians, and further popularizing the said contentious book written by Farotimi.

The lawyer reasoned that, “The book was published in Lagos. The defendant has an office in Lagos. And under the Nigerian Criminal Justice System, the law is not that you have to go to where the defendant is, to go and try the accused. You have to try the accused where the act was committed, except he had escaped justice in another state.

“So if he didn’t do that, you cannot abduct him to that state that he didn’t escape to.”

However, on appearance at The Chief Magistrates Court in the Ado Ekiti Division, days later, he was ordered to be remanded in the state’s correctional centre pending consideration of his bail application.

Considering the case, Chief Magistrate Abayomi Adeosun, after listening to the police prosecutor, Samson Osubu, who filed an 16-count allegations to which Farotimi pleaded not guilty, adjourned the matter till December 10, 2024, saying, “The defendant should file a formal application for bail. The matter is adjourned till Tuesday, December 10, 2024. The defendant is hereby ordered remanded at the Correctional Centre, Ado Ekiti.”

Farotimi’s case was further compounded when on December 7 while the adjourned December 10 date was being awaited, the Police slammed a fresh 12-count charge bordering on alleged false information to cause a breakdown of law and order on the detained activist. The legal team of Prof Babalola urged Farotimi to prove his allegations against legal luminary. They also went for the jugular, asking that Farotimi be stripped of his law license as well as ensure the stoppage of the publication and circulation of the book.The charge filed at the Federal High Court, Ado Ekiti, by the Inspector General of Police was brought under Section 24 of the Cybercrimes (Prohibition, Prevention, etc) Act 2015 as amended.

In the fresh charge dated and filed December 6, Farotimi was alleged to have violated the Cybercrimes laws, when he on August 28, 2024 knowingly and intentionally transmitted a false communication in an online interview on Mic On Podcast by Seun Okinbaloye on his YouTube Channel in respect of a book he authored and published with the titled: ‘Nigeria and its Criminal Justice System’.

According to the charge, Farotimi was alleged to have in the said broadcast interview claimed that, “Aare Afe Babalola corrupted the judiciary”, a claim which he knew to be false information and made for the purpose of causing breakdown of law and order thereby committed an offence contrary to and punishable under Section 24(1) (b) of Cybercrimes (Prohibition, Prevention, etc) Act 2015 as amended.

In count two, the defendant was said to have made the allegation “with the intention of bullying and harassing the named persons thereby committed an offence contrary to and punishable under Section 24 (a) of Cybercrimes (Prohibition, Prevention, etc) Act 2015 as amended.”

In another charge, Farotimi was alleged to have on December 2, 2024, acknowledged that there was a charge preferred before a court in Ekiti State against him at the instance of Chief Afe Babalola.

“This preferred, hidden from view and the court had purportedly demanded my presence multiple times and failed to appear before the court and this Court had then proceeded to issue bench warrant for my arrest. This is classic Afe Babalola, I detailed his corruptive influence in my book titled: ‘Nigeria and its Criminal Justice System’ which you know to contain false information for the purpose of causing breakdown of law and order thereby committed an offence contrary to and punishable under Section 24(1) (b) of Cybercrimes (Prohibition, Prevention, etc) Act 2015 as amended,” the charge read in part.

In count four, Farotimi was said to have described the charge in his online broadcast as “fraudulently preferred, hidden from view and the court had purportedly demanded my presence multiple times and I failed to appear before the court and this court had then proceeded to issue bench warrant for my arrest.”

The police further accused the defendant of bullying and harassing Babalola and other named persons when through his online broadcast alleged that after he sued Babalola for libel, “the machines of corruption went into overdrive and a case that should never have been killed at the preliminary stage was killed”.

Count 10 reads: That you Dele Farotimi on December 2, 2024 intentionally sent a message in the course of a press conference held on Online on your YouTube Channel, where you stated that: “I told the truth of his corruption of the society” which you know to contain false information for the purpose of causing breakdown of law and order thereby committed an offence Contrary to and punishable under Section 24(1) (b) of Cybercrimes (Prohibition, Prevention, etc) Act 2015 as amended.

On December 10, his case was further moved to December 20 when he was granted N30 million bail. The bail conditions were completed on December 24 when he was released.

Though Farotimi is released, his freedom, which came at a cost, is not completely guaranteed as he will remain a regular visitor to courts until the final determination, which is likely to drag to the Supreme Court.

The Book Nigeria and Its Criminal Justice SystemNigeria and Its Criminal Justice System gained significant attention following its release, with Amazon listing it as the number one bestseller worldwide in its category. The book’s critical exploration of systemic issues in Nigeria’s legal and judicial landscape resonated with readers across the globe, propelling it to the top of international bestseller charts. the book received a

(4.00 out of 5) from the site which was based on five critic reviews.

The release of the book was accompanied by a public dispute between Dele Farotimi and Afe Babalola, In a controversial development a court in Nigeria issued an injunction halting the further production, distribution, and sale of Nigeria and Its Criminal Justice System. The decision came following a lawsuit filed by Babalola, who alleged that certain portions of the book contained defamatory statements and misrepresentations about individuals and institutions within the Nigerian criminal justice system.

FAROTIMI, THE MAN

Dele Farotimi was born on April 27, 1968, and completed his secondary education at Fiditi Grammar School. He later earned a law degree from Lagos State University where he graduated with an LL.B.

A unionist and activist, he served as President of the Student’s Union at the Lagos State University (LASU), in 1994-1995, and was called to the Nigerian bar in 1999.

Farotimi began his legal career at Adesina Ogunlana & Co specializing in advocating for a better Nigeria. Over the years with a deep commitment to human rights and justice. He practiced law actively until his retirement in 2018 at the age of 50. In addition to his legal work, Farotimi is a published author. His book, Do Not Die in Their War, addresses critical issues facing Nigeria, including corruption, governance, and the rule of law. The publication has been lauded for its candid insights and call to action for systemic change.

Dele Farotimi was arrested in lagos state on December 3, 2024, and extradited to Ekiti State by the Nigerian Police Force in connection with his book, Nigeria and Its Criminal Justice System. The arrest followed allegations of defamation brought against him by Senior Advocate of Nigeria (SAN) Afe Babalola. Farotimi’s detention sparked widespread outrage, with activists, legal practitioners, and civil society organizations condemning the action as an attempt to stifle free speech and dissent.

Additional info: The PUNCH, ThisDay and Wikipedia