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Opinion: The Agony of Monogamy

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By Tola Adeniyi

It was at the church service for the 90th birthday of the legendary matriarch of the Awolowo dynasty, Dr. Hannah Idowu Dideolu Awolowo, in Ikenne, Ogun State that the thoughts that prompted this article began. Some well known highly placed gentlemen and their wives were called upon to partake in the wine sipping, bread breaking ritual called Holy Communion. As soon as these respectable ladies and gentlemen, all of them past age 70, and amongst whom were renowned professors, high court judges, legal luminaries and business moguls, finished their spiritual blessing and were returning to their seats, they caught a pitiable sight in their over-flowing garb of hypocrisy.
They wore forlorn mien plastered with furrowed frowned faces like some one afflicted with putrid smell of heavy dose of fart. They looked as if they were mourning a three-year-old boy mistakenly killed by his own father, or the passing of a poor woman who has just succumbed to excruciatingly painful cancer.
They clung to their wives as if they were newly wedded. I temporarily forgot that I was in a holy Church, the spiritual enclave of Christians. I almost laughed my head off because I knew each of the ‘holy’ ‘monogamous’ men intimately and by Jove, I knew of their second, third or fourth wives/liaisons/mistresses with whom they had sired several children. To the whole world they were champions of monogamy, but to their hearts and conscience they were celebrated polygamists, or at best, serial monogamists. Pshaw!
I saw pain written all over them, the agony of living a lie, the unease of hypocrisy, and the shame of going through life pretending to be what you are not.
This is the sort of agony a lot of the so-called monogamists go through all their lives. The series of lies they sell to their wives, and the double life they present to their pastors and church leaders, most of whom are actually equally guilty of hypocrisy and double life living.
This piece is not set out to condemn or criticise monogamy. Monogamy is perfect for those who believe in its concept and can genuinely keep to it. I too have been married to one lovely woman for almost 45 years and it has been like a marriage made in heaven. I happen also to be the promoter along with some friends the 35-year-old Family Club of Nigeria which is dedicated to the upliftment and celebration of marriage and family values.
The article is designed to expose the hypocrisy and pain associated with embracing false notions which are really not observed by any culture in the world, and to advise those who erroneously sentence themselves to a life of sadness and emptiness because they were deceived to believe that there is some utopia somewhere called monogamy.
I am very much aware that this article will generate a lot of controversy, most especially from those who live holier-than-thou life and have continued to deceive the world that they are upholders of a doctrine that is not supported by true and enlightened interpretation of any religious doctrine.
The white men, I am yet to see any human being whose skin colour is like that of chalk, came and told the unfortunate lands they invaded that the cherished cultures, traditions and religions of such lands were rubbish, and instead indoctrinated them with values which they themselves never believed in or truly practiced. We know of King Henry Vlll, and several major historical figures in ‘Christian’ Europe who had more than one wife in addition of a string of wives who their ‘laws’ forbade them to address as wives but who nonetheless perform all the functions of wife minus name.
God bless President Mitterrand who openly confessed to having two women in his life, with the one in the other house with whom he fathered an 18-year-old daughter at the time he passed on.
I have schooled, worked and lived virtually in all the continents of the world and I make bold to say with all emphasis at my disposal that no culture on planet earth truly practices monogamy. My Greek, Italian, Russian, British, American and other Caucasians routinely visit their other wives [called by other names] with whom they have children. But back in the homes shared with the one carrying the ring, they are monogamists!
If God had wanted humanity to be monogamous He or She would not have made the pigeon the only monogamous creature.
The cultures that practice polygamy had always known that at any given time, the number of available marriageable women far out number available men plus the fact that an 80-year-old man, if he has money, is still very much in the market whereas a 60-year-old woman may not be that lucky. The biological limitation to a woman’s productive age is also a factor. Why should a woman therefore remain on the shelf till age 45 when she could jolly well get married as second or sixth wife to a man who can afford to share life’s responsibilities with her? Why should a woman leave a man with whom she is No 1, simply because took a second wife and end up being numberless in the hands of several men with whom she naturally shares bed just because of some doctrine she hardly understands?
All the women who should go and marry but are saying they do not want to share their man with another woman in a polygamous setting, are sharing current boyfriends with several other women. Where is the logic?
The argument that children in a polygamous house are always at each other’s throat does not hold water. Many siblings of monogamous families are known to have had worse and irresolvable, irreconcilable squabble, with dirty bitterness over inheritance than children from different mothers.
The agony suffered by both men and women in the hand of unnatural laws and doctrines is too stifling for comfort. In 2002, five hundred and two Reverend mothers were reported to have died while procuring abortion in Rome. Nigerian Tribune wrote an editorial on the unfortunate incident. And stories of Reverend fathers having children and sodomising young men in their care are legion! Why the hypocrisy? Why should the world continue to live the life of Ostrich?
A well known Nigerian journalist hid his other wives from his wife because his religion would not permit of it and his wife, living in monogamy should not hear of it. At his funeral 9 Funeral Service programmes by his 9 wives surfaced and the woman parading the ring collapsed. It was the grace of God that prevented double interment that day!
The Western world which had not learnt the art of living amicably with more than one partner under the same roof has indulged in multiple serial marriages, divorcing innocent wives under flimsy excuses so that another woman can move in should not be measure of standard for the world. Thank God Mrs Hillary Clinton in the US and Mrs Cook in England were very much wiser. They refused to allow some indiscretion on the part of their husbands to ruin their marriages.
There was a well known American actor who passed on about a decade ago and all his 11 ex-wives with their numerous children attended his funeral. To ridicule the lie of their hypocritical existence, all the women were recognised and addressed as wives. As far as records show, the man had 11 wives!
Society must rethink this issue of pretentious monogamy vis-à-vis polygamy so that in the not-too-distant future we do not end up with millions of unmarried women whose life style would be worse than prostitutes’ and millions of children whose fathers would be nowhere to be found.

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The Travails of Nasir El-Rufai

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By Eric Elezuo

The present predicament of the immediate past governor of Kaduna State, Mallam Nasir El-Rufai, has created diverse camps of supportive, non-supportive and completely indifferent reactions.

The former governor, who completed his two terms in office on May 29, 2023, has remained in the news ever since for the wrong reasons. First, falling out with his supposed godson, the incumbent Governor of Kaduna State, Uba Sani, who has accused him of embezzlement of public funds while in office, using the state house of Assembly.

Secondly, he was unceremoniously dropped from the list of favored applicants for ministerial positions after the Senate, in a brazen act, rejected his nomination and failed to confirm him after undergoing ministerial screening. El-Rufai has neither forgiven the Senate nor President Bola Tinubu for allowing that to happen.

El-Rufai, whi was once the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), had consequently turned himself into a vocal critic of the government, offering explanations why the present administration must not be allowed to return to power in 2027.

His most recent outburst of accusing the NSA, Mallam Nuru Ribadu, of orchestrating his arrest on arrival to Nigeria from Egypt, had set the stage for his present predicament. The former governor had in a live interview on Arise Television, claimed to have tapping into the NSA’s communications line, thereby becoming privy to the discussions relating to the order of his arrest. He was therefore, invited to explain the whys and hows of his bugging a high level security line. El-Rufai has not come out of detention ever since. His journey has proceeded from the gaurdroom of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) to the Department of State Security (DSS).

From all indications, these are not the best of times for the immediate past Governor. And stakeholders have insisted that it’s only a passionate presidential pardon that could extricate the former FCT minister from all entanglements.

Meanwhile, a cross-section of the newest opposition block, the African Democratic Congress (ADC) has insisted that the predicaments and persecutions El-Rufai found himself, and is facing at the moment are orchestrations of the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) by President Tinubu just as the ruling party has maintained that the former governor is facing the music of his actions and inaction while in office between 2015 and 2023.

Recall that in August 2023, the Senate set the tone for what awaits El-Rufai in the Tinubu administration, when the group, against all expectations rejected his nomination as a minister, confirming 45 others. He was one of the nine former governors nominated for ministerial positions by the Tinubu administration.

The Senate refused to confirm the nomination of Nasir El-Rufai, as well as two other nominees including Stella Okotete (Delta) and Sani Danladi (Taraba).

The President of the Senate, Senator Godswill Akpabio, had informed that the three nominees not confirmed would be subjected to further security checks even as he advise them to take their matter to Mr President, stressing that the non-conformation status stemmed from ‘security reasons’.

It must be recalled also that during El-Rufai’s screening on the floor of the Senate, Senator Karimi Sunday from Kogi West Senatorial District raised a “very strong petition” against the ex-Kaduna governor that bothered on insecurity, unity, and national cohesion.

Sunday, who praised El-Rufai’s performance as Kaduna governor and Minister of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) some 20 years ago, said, “but I have a very strong petition against you that bothers on security, unity and cohesiveness of the Nigerian nation and I think that petition has to be considered along this screening exercise”.

Much as there was a loud resistance from the Senators against the subject, the Senate President insisted on allowing the Kogi senator’s view to stand, citing reception of other petitions against the former governor.

“Distinguished colleagues, perhaps I should inform you that I have received petitions from many other people in respect of other nominees but this is not where we are to deal with petitions. Our job here is to screen and of course, we can refer petitions to where petitions would be dealt with.

“These are the nominees of Mr President. If it is something that is a formal petition before the Senate, we will look at it formally but there are certain petitions that we have to refer to the Presidency or security agencies to look at and that has nothing to do with us.

“I think by the time we are going with the issue of confirmation and approval, we will so advise. So, I will want to plead with my brother (El-Rufai) to take a bow. So, don’t bother about (addressing the petition). Thank you.”

That was the beginning of the many Travails that trailed, and continued to trail the former Kaduna governor. His case was never revisited. His preferred, and speculated ministerial portfolio, Power, was handed to a legal practitioner, marking the end of the presidential consideration. That was when El-Rufai and Tinubu’s relationship entered the stage of ‘no love lost’

Shortly afterwards in June 2024, the Kaduna State House of Assembly’s ad hoc committee had earlier submitted its investigative report on the El-Rufai administration’s financial dealings, loans, and contracts to the House

The chairman of the ad hoc committee, Henry Zacharia, said the loans secured during El-Rufai’s tenure were largely misused, and in some instances, proper procedures were not followed in obtaining them.

The Assembly Speaker, Yusuf Liman, alleged that El-Rufai’s administration misappropriated N423 billion, resulting in significant financial burdens for the state.

Many Nigerians, though had their misgivings about the 8-years stewardship of El-Rufai, dismissed the charges, claiming it was an aftermath of his altercations with the president. Some assumed it was a witchhunt perpetrated by an administration that has issues with the ex-governor.

In response however, El-Rufai sued the Kaduna State House of Assembly over claims that his administration embezzled N432 billion and left the state with significant debt obligations.

He filed a fundamental rights enforcement case against the Kaduna State House of Assembly at the Federal High Court in Kaduna.

El-Rufai, who appeared in person to file the lawsuit, alleged that the committee denied him a fair hearing, according to a statement by the former governor’s media aide, Muyiwa Adekeye, posted on his X handle.

The lawsuit, filed by El-Rufai’s lawyer, Abdulhakeem Mustapha, contested the Kaduna Assembly Committee’s report, which accused El-Rufai of corruption.
Adekeye wrote, “His lawyer, AU Mustapha SAN, said that El-Rufai approached the court as a Nigerian citizen who is entitled to be given a fair hearing before his rights can be determined by a quasi-judicial or investigative body or courts in line with the provisions of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, 1999 (as amended) and the African Charter on Human and Peoples Rights.

“El-Rufai also asked the court to declare that by the provisions of Section 36 of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, 1999, the Report of the Ad-Hoc Committee on Investigation of Loans, Financial Transactions, Contractual Liabilities and Other Related Matters of the Government of Kaduna State from 29 May 2015 to 29 May 2023, as ratified by the Kaduna State House of Assembly, is unconstitutional and therefore null and void for violating his right to fair hearing as guaranteed under the Constitution.”

Though questions as to whether the persecutions and legal attacks on El-Rufai were products of his vituperations on the presidency for canceling his nomination as a minister, the former governor had continued to leverage on any interview to speak of the incompetence of the administration, while attempting to rally Nigerians to vote out the government come 2027. El-Rufai had also joined the now major opposition party towards wrestling power from Tinubu and his APC government.

On February 12, 2026, El-Rufai was accosted by security operatives, who attempted to arrest him upon his arrival from Cairo at the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport in Abuja. His passport was seized in the scuffle that ensued, even as he reportedly declined to accompany operatives without the presentation of a warrant.

To make matters worse, El-Rufai, while appearing on a live interview boasted of intercepting a phone conversation, where the NSA Nuhu Ribadu, had given the order for his arrest on arrival to Nigeria.

El-Rufai had alleged that he and some others listen to the telephone conversations of Mr Ribadu after an individual tapped the NSA’s phone.

He defended the legality of the phone interception, acknowledging that it is technically illegal but claiming, “The government does it all the time. They listen to our calls without a court order. But someone tapped his phone and told us that he gave the order.”

But like the government has been waiting for the slip, they capitalized on the revelation to initiate another round of investigation against the former governor

In His reaction after the interview on Arise TV, Presidential Spokesperson, Bayo Onanuga, raised concerns about the implications of the claim for national security.

“El-Rufai has confessed to wire-tapping Nigeria’s NSA on TV. Does it mean that he and his collaborators have wire-tapping facilities?” Onanuga queried.

He added that the issue should not be ignored, stressing the need for accountability.

“This should be thoroughly investigated and punishment meted out. El-Rufai is not too big to face the wrath of the law,” the presidential spokesperson stated.

However, between February 16 and 18, El-Rufai was detained by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission over the allegations of misappropriating ₦432 billion during his tenure as governor of Kaduna State.

The government made good its threat as the DSS arrested the former governor, and filed cybercrimes charge before the Federal High Court in Abuja against him over the phone-tapping allegation. The case was filed as FHC/ABJ/CR/99/2026.

The prosecution said he admitted to intercepting the NSA’s communications, failed to report others who conducted unlawful interceptions, and compromised public safety and national security by using technical systems to tap the NSA’s phone.

The alleged acts were said to violate provisions of the Cybercrimes (Prohibition, Prevention, etc.) (Amendment) Act, 2024, and the Nigerian Communications Act, 2003. No arraignment date has been fixed, and Mr El-Rufai has not publicly responded to the charges.

But beyond the DSS legal actions, the ICPC has continued to keep El-Rufai in its custody, having arrested him shortly after his release from the EFCC. It was while the former was in custody that the DSS conducted a search in his Abuja home, claiming to find various items used in wire-tapping. They therefore, attempted to lend credence to the wire-tapping allegations leveled against the former governor.
El-Rufai’s immediate family members have however, denied the DSS allegations just as the former proceeded to the courts to get a judgment declaring every finding as may be presented by the DSS as untenable, citing unauthorisation.
But the ICPC has continued to hold on to the former against the law as many respondents have cited.
In its defence, the ICPC attempted to provide a provide a timeline of events, to prove that El-Rufai’s detention followed a court approved process tied to ongoing investigations into alleged financial crimes., according to statement signed by John Okor Odey, the Head, Media and Public Communication at the ICPC.

“The initial remand order was granted, allowing the Commission to detain the suspect for 14 days to investigate allegations of money laundering and abuse of office. Upon the expiration of the initial order, the Commission applied for a 14-day extension to complete its investigations, which the court acceded to on 5th March, 2026.”

It further noted that an earlier attempt by El-Rufai’s counsel to nullify the remand order had already failed.

“Counsel to El-Rufai attempted to set aside the remand order issued on 19th February, 2026, but the application was dismissed on 9th March, 2026.”

The ICPC maintained that the former governor remains in custody in line with legal provisions.

“Mallam El-Rufai remains in the lawful custody of the ICPC under the remand order dated 5th March, 2026. The Commission is strictly following the court mandated timeline, including the requirement for a progress report.”

It emphasised that all actions taken so far align with the law.

“The ICPC conducts its duties with the highest professionalism and respect for the rule of law. The remand of Mr El-Rufai has been authorised by a court of law in accordance with the Administration of Criminal Justice Act (ACJA) 2015.”

The Commission also reiterated its stance against media interference in legal processes.

“Furthermore, the ICPC remains firm in upholding its longstanding policy of avoiding media trials. We believe that legal disputes should be settled in the courtroom, not on newspaper pages and social media platforms. The Commission’s leadership remains steadfast and undeterred in confronting any and all challenges in the course of the current investigation.”

It urged the public to rely on verified information.

“We urge the public to avoid spreading unverified information and to rely on official updates from the Commission.”

It will still be till end of March before the fate of El-Rufai is known in these fast-paced travails with the government-controlled security agencies.

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Eid-el-Fitr: Tinubu Felicitates with Nigerian Muslims, Urges Renewed Patriotism

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As Muslims worldwide celebrate Eid-el-Fitr, marking the end of Ramadan, President Bola Tinubu has congratulated the Muslim faithful in Nigeria, urging renewed commitment to the nation and humanity.

President Tinubu enjoined Nigerian Muslims to rededicate themselves to the noble teachings of the holy month, which emphasise piety, empathy, and unity among humanity.

The President’s message was contained in a statement signed by his media aide, Bayo Onanuga, on Thursday.

“We have a lot to draw from the noble lessons of Ramadan, especially at a time like this. We must continue to abide by the virtues of piety, selflessness, perseverance, kindness and compassion beyond this period,” he said.

President Tinubu urged all Muslim faithful to extend a hand of kindness to the needy of all faiths, to further show unity and camaraderie.

The President also tasked Muslim leaders to use the occasion to offer prayers for peace and prosperity to prevail in the country.

On Wednesday, the Sultan of Sokoto and President-General of the Nigerian Supreme Council for Islamic Affairs, Muhammad Sa’ad Abubakar, approved the declaration of Friday as the day for Eid-el-Fitr.

He congratulated Muslims on the successful completion of Ramadan and called for sustained prayers for national unity and development.

The Sultan’s announcement came after the Federal government of Nigeria declared Thursday, 19 March, and Friday, 20 March 2026, as public holidays to mark the celebration of Eid-el-Fitr, which signifies the end of the holy month of Ramadan.

In a statement signed by the Permanent Secretary, Ministry of Interior, Magdalene Ajani, on Tuesday, the Minister of Interior, Olubunmi Tunji-Ojo, who made the declaration on behalf of the Federal Government, extended warm greetings and heartfelt congratulations to the Muslim faithful on the successful completion of the holy month of Ramadan.

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2027: Peter Obi Raises Doubt About Clinching ADC Presidential Ticket

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A former Labour Party presidential candidate, Peter Obi, has expressed reservations over his ability to clinch the African Democratic Congress’ (ADC) presidential ticket for the 2027 elections.

In a video address to his followers, Obi stated that receiving the ADC’s presidential ticket is not guaranteed.

He said: “Someone asked me how I know for sure that the ADC will give me the presidential ticket. I cannot be certain. What matters is that we are committed to a cause.

I keep wondering how we ended up in this situation and what might happen if we decide to stop working on this project.”

“Obi also said he is still committed to his goals, and he hasn’t let any reported threats stop him.

The former Labour Party presidential candidate praised his supporters for their resilience, recognizing the difficulties of working within opposition politics in Nigeria.

Obi thanked everyone who stayed loyal even though they didn’t get much benefit right away.

“I thank you for your sacrifice. It’s not easy to be in the opposition in Nigeria, and I’m thankful to those who keep supporting even when there’s no clear reward,” he said.

He, however, expressed uncertainty about the future, especially concerning political alliances and commitments.

“How can we be certain that the people we’re working with right now won’t leave us behind tomorrow? I wish we could be sure, but we can’t,” he said.

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