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Opinion: The Agony of Monogamy

Published

8 years ago

July 2, 2018

Eric

By Tola Adeniyi

It was at the church service for the 90th birthday of the legendary matriarch of the Awolowo dynasty, Dr. Hannah Idowu Dideolu Awolowo, in Ikenne, Ogun State that the thoughts that prompted this article began. Some well known highly placed gentlemen and their wives were called upon to partake in the wine sipping, bread breaking ritual called Holy Communion. As soon as these respectable ladies and gentlemen, all of them past age 70, and amongst whom were renowned professors, high court judges, legal luminaries and business moguls, finished their spiritual blessing and were returning to their seats, they caught a pitiable sight in their over-flowing garb of hypocrisy.

They wore forlorn mien plastered with furrowed frowned faces like some one afflicted with putrid smell of heavy dose of fart. They looked as if they were mourning a three-year-old boy mistakenly killed by his own father, or the passing of a poor woman who has just succumbed to excruciatingly painful cancer.

They clung to their wives as if they were newly wedded. I temporarily forgot that I was in a holy Church, the spiritual enclave of Christians. I almost laughed my head off because I knew each of the ‘holy’ ‘monogamous’ men intimately and by Jove, I knew of their second, third or fourth wives/liaisons/mistresses with whom they had sired several children. To the whole world they were champions of monogamy, but to their hearts and conscience they were celebrated polygamists, or at best, serial monogamists. Pshaw!

I saw pain written all over them, the agony of living a lie, the unease of hypocrisy, and the shame of going through life pretending to be what you are not.

This is the sort of agony a lot of the so-called monogamists go through all their lives. The series of lies they sell to their wives, and the double life they present to their pastors and church leaders, most of whom are actually equally guilty of hypocrisy and double life living.

This piece is not set out to condemn or criticise monogamy. Monogamy is perfect for those who believe in its concept and can genuinely keep to it. I too have been married to one lovely woman for almost 45 years and it has been like a marriage made in heaven. I happen also to be the promoter along with some friends the 35-year-old Family Club of Nigeria which is dedicated to the upliftment and celebration of marriage and family values.

The article is designed to expose the hypocrisy and pain associated with embracing false notions which are really not observed by any culture in the world, and to advise those who erroneously sentence themselves to a life of sadness and emptiness because they were deceived to believe that there is some utopia somewhere called monogamy.

I am very much aware that this article will generate a lot of controversy, most especially from those who live holier-than-thou life and have continued to deceive the world that they are upholders of a doctrine that is not supported by true and enlightened interpretation of any religious doctrine.

The white men, I am yet to see any human being whose skin colour is like that of chalk, came and told the unfortunate lands they invaded that the cherished cultures, traditions and religions of such lands were rubbish, and instead indoctrinated them with values which they themselves never believed in or truly practiced. We know of King Henry Vlll, and several major historical figures in ‘Christian’ Europe who had more than one wife in addition of a string of wives who their ‘laws’ forbade them to address as wives but who nonetheless perform all the functions of wife minus name.

God bless President Mitterrand who openly confessed to having two women in his life, with the one in the other house with whom he fathered an 18-year-old daughter at the time he passed on.

I have schooled, worked and lived virtually in all the continents of the world and I make bold to say with all emphasis at my disposal that no culture on planet earth truly practices monogamy. My Greek, Italian, Russian, British, American and other Caucasians routinely visit their other wives [called by other names] with whom they have children. But back in the homes shared with the one carrying the ring, they are monogamists!

If God had wanted humanity to be monogamous He or She would not have made the pigeon the only monogamous creature.

The cultures that practice polygamy had always known that at any given time, the number of available marriageable women far out number available men plus the fact that an 80-year-old man, if he has money, is still very much in the market whereas a 60-year-old woman may not be that lucky. The biological limitation to a woman’s productive age is also a factor. Why should a woman therefore remain on the shelf till age 45 when she could jolly well get married as second or sixth wife to a man who can afford to share life’s responsibilities with her? Why should a woman leave a man with whom she is No 1, simply because took a second wife and end up being numberless in the hands of several men with whom she naturally shares bed just because of some doctrine she hardly understands?

All the women who should go and marry but are saying they do not want to share their man with another woman in a polygamous setting, are sharing current boyfriends with several other women. Where is the logic?

The argument that children in a polygamous house are always at each other’s throat does not hold water. Many siblings of monogamous families are known to have had worse and irresolvable, irreconcilable squabble, with dirty bitterness over inheritance than children from different mothers.

The agony suffered by both men and women in the hand of unnatural laws and doctrines is too stifling for comfort. In 2002, five hundred and two Reverend mothers were reported to have died while procuring abortion in Rome. Nigerian Tribune wrote an editorial on the unfortunate incident. And stories of Reverend fathers having children and sodomising young men in their care are legion! Why the hypocrisy? Why should the world continue to live the life of Ostrich?

A well known Nigerian journalist hid his other wives from his wife because his religion would not permit of it and his wife, living in monogamy should not hear of it. At his funeral 9 Funeral Service programmes by his 9 wives surfaced and the woman parading the ring collapsed. It was the grace of God that prevented double interment that day!

The Western world which had not learnt the art of living amicably with more than one partner under the same roof has indulged in multiple serial marriages, divorcing innocent wives under flimsy excuses so that another woman can move in should not be measure of standard for the world. Thank God Mrs Hillary Clinton in the US and Mrs Cook in England were very much wiser. They refused to allow some indiscretion on the part of their husbands to ruin their marriages.

There was a well known American actor who passed on about a decade ago and all his 11 ex-wives with their numerous children attended his funeral. To ridicule the lie of their hypocritical existence, all the women were recognised and addressed as wives. As far as records show, the man had 11 wives!

Society must rethink this issue of pretentious monogamy vis-à-vis polygamy so that in the not-too-distant future we do not end up with millions of unmarried women whose life style would be worse than prostitutes’ and millions of children whose fathers would be nowhere to be found.

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Rivers Impeachment Brouhaha: Wike, Fubara ‘Run’ Abroad to Meet Tinubu

Published

4 hours ago

January 11, 2026

Eric

By Eric Elezuo

The fragile peace that sprout out in Rivers State after the six months Emergency Rule declared by President Bola Tinubu, has suddenly collapsed as the two major gladiators; the Federal Capital Territory Minister, Nyesom Wike and Rivers State governor, Siminalayi Fubara, have returned to the war front.

This is as the 26 legislators loyal to the FCT minister have initiated an impeachment proceedings against the sitting governor, Fubara, accusing him of gross misconduct roped in 8-count charges.

The lawmakers during a session on Thursday, presided over by Speaker of the House, Martin Amaewhule, are accusing Fubara and his deputy, Dr. Ngozi Oduh, of gross misconduct.

Observers have said that the day’s proceedings bear the imprimatur of renewed hostilities between Fubara and his predecessor Nyesom Wike, minister of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT).

Rrcall that onn December 5, 2025, a horde of the Rivers assembly lawmakers led by the speaker, announced their defection from the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) to the All Progressives Congress (APC), and days later, Fubara formalised his own switch from the PDP to the APC.

By the renewed hostilities, the two feuding personalities are seeking the support of the president, who it is believed can quench the rising tension, to either impeach the Chief Executive or survive the impeachment process.

A report monitored on Businessday Newspaper noted therfore, that President Bola Tinubu has once again intervened in the lingering political crisis between Fubara, and Wike.

According to the paper, quoting credible sources, the President summoned Wike for a crucial meeting abroad over the renewed face-off, which has reignited tensions in the oil-rich state, even as the president is still holidaying abroad.

The paper also The Punch, said a top presidential source disclosed on Saturday that the meeting is expected to be held in Dubai, United Arab Emirates (UAE), where Tinubu will be heading after a brief stay in France.

“The President must see the danger in what Wike is doing. I am aware he has summoned him to a meeting in Dubai. Barring any last-minute change, they are expected to meet abroad. Wike cannot impeach Fubara; the President will call him to order,” the source said.

The source added that Wike’s recent actions constituted an affront to the President and could potentially trigger unrest in the Niger Delta.

“If you say you want to sack the first Ijaw man to be governor, are you not sending the Ijaw people back to the creeks? That will have attendant effects on the economy, and the President will not allow that to happen,” he warned.

According to reports, tension heightened on Thursday after 27 members of the Rivers State House of Assembly, loyal to Wike, initiated fresh impeachment proceedings against Governor Fubara and his deputy, Prof. Ngozi Odu.

The impeachment notice, read by Majority Leader, Major Jack, during plenary presided over by Speaker Martins Amaewhule, contained seven allegations of gross misconduct against the governor.

These include the demolition of the Assembly complex, extra-budgetary spending, and refusal to comply with a Supreme Court ruling on legislative financial autonomy.

Deputy Governor Odu was accused of “reckless and unconstitutional spending of public funds” and “obstructing the Assembly from performing its duties.”

Speaker Amaewhule described the impeachment move as “good and in the interest of Rivers State,” accusing Fubara of undermining the Assembly by failing to present the 2026 budget.

The latest move mirrors the earlier impeachment crisis that led to the declaration of a state of emergency in Rivers in March 2025.

Despite Tinubu’s earlier mediation, the fragile peace between Wike and Fubara collapsed just months after the end of the six-month emergency rule.

Wike accused Fubara of reneging on their post-truce agreements, while Fubara fired subtle jabs at his predecessor.

A senior aide to the President told reporters that Tinubu was aware of the escalating situation but declined to confirm any planned meeting with Wike.

“Only Wike or his aides can say if there is any scheduled meeting between him and the President,” the official said.

However, a senior APC official confirmed that national leaders of the party planned to meet Tinubu when he returns to Nigeria to discuss the growing discontent over Wike’s conduct.

“Some of our leaders believe Wike should have respected the President and the party because Fubara is now one of our governors,” the official said. “Even if he won’t get a second term, he should be allowed to complete his tenure.”

Meanwhile, Wike has been touring Rivers local councils, soliciting and accepting approvals from loyalists just as Fubara has asked for calm from members while they wait on the president.

Headline

Atiku Will Not Withdraw for Anyone, ADC Ticket Must Be Earned in Open Contest – Paul Ibe

Published

3 days ago

January 8, 2026

Eric

Media Adviser to former Vice President Atiku Abubakar, Paul Ibe, has insisted that neither Atiku nor any other aspirant in the African Democratic Congress (ADC) opposition coalition will step aside, stressing that the party’s presidential ticket must be earned through a transparent and competitive process.

Speaking in an interview with ARISE News on Wednesday, Ibe said calls for Atiku to withdraw from the race undermine democratic principles and play into what he described as the ruling All Progressives Congress’ alleged plan to weaken opposition politics.

“Inclusiveness is the essence of democracy. The ADC remains committed to an open, transparent and competitive process for choosing its flag bearer. Any call for Atiku Abubakar to step aside is a betrayal of the Nigerian people,” he said.

Ibe accused the administration of President Bola Tinubu of interfering in the internal affairs of opposition parties, alleging an agenda to impose a one-party state on Nigeria.

“The Tinubu-led administration should be focused on governance — security, the economy, the welfare of Nigerians — but instead, they are dabbling into opposition politics. That is dangerous for democracy,” he said.

He dismissed claims that Atiku dominates the ADC, describing such narratives as “mischief.”

“Atiku Abubakar is just a member of the ADC. Yes, he is a leader, a former vice president, but he is not the only leader. There are leaders across the country, and he is working with them to build party structures,” Ibe said.

According to him, the party’s current priority is grassroots mobilisation, not ticket permutations.

“Talking about who gets the ticket now is putting the cart before the horse. A house without pillars will collapse. The ADC is building structures — ward, local government, state — and that is where the focus should be.”

On speculation about possible compromises with other aspirants such as Peter Obi and Rotimi Amaechi, Ibe said no discussion has taken place regarding relinquishing the presidential ticket.

“There has been no conversation whatsoever about stepping down for anyone. Their preoccupation is building a robust alternative platform capable of giving the APC a run for its money.”

Addressing reports of alliances involving figures outside the ADC, including Rabiu Kwankwaso and former President Olusegun Obasanjo, Ibe said such talks were external to the party.

“Rabiu Kwankwaso is not a member of the ADC. Whatever discussions are happening are outside the party. But the ADC is expanding, reaching out, and more people will come on board.”

He maintained that the ADC leadership has ruled out automatic tickets, insisting the process will not be dictated by external forces.

“The party has made it clear: no automatic tickets. The outcome of the primaries will be determined by party members, not outside influence.”

Responding to questions about Atiku’s age and repeated presidential bids, Ibe rejected suggestions that the former vice president should step aside to mentor successors.

“Age has nothing to do with leadership. Atiku has mentored governors, lawmakers and public servants over the years. He is patriotic, passionate, and deeply committed to Nigeria.”

He added:

“If you analyse his blood, you will find Nigeria in it. Nobody has been more prepared to govern than Atiku Abubakar.”

Ibe also alleged that Nigeria’s last two presidential elections were rigged, arguing that Atiku’s defeats were not a reflection of public trust.

“The elections of 2019 and 2023 were rigged. This is not about trust; it is about institutions failing Nigerians.”

On fears that opposition divisions could again hand victory to the ruling party in 2027, Ibe said opposition leaders had learned from past mistakes.

“This is not about personal ambition. It is a call to national duty. Leaders understand what is at stake and have learned from 2023.”

He further alleged attempts by the ruling party to infiltrate and destabilise the ADC.

“The Tinubu camp does not want an opposition. They are funding court cases and using state resources to undermine the ADC, but the party is taking steps to ensure they fail.”

However, Ibe said some details could not be disclosed publicly.

“There are things I cannot share on camera, but the leadership and stakeholders are fully aware.”

Asked what would happen if Atiku loses the ADC primary, Ibe said his principal would accept the outcome.

“Atiku Abubakar will submit himself to the process and support whoever emerges as the presidential candidate of the ADC.”

Headline

2027: Dele Momodu Warns Against Introduction of ‘Aggression and Rambunctiousness’ into ADC

Published

4 days ago

January 8, 2026

Eric

Veteran Journalist and chieftain of the African Democratic Congress (ADC) Chief Dele Momodu, has cautioned the party against repeating internal conflicts similar to those experienced in the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), stressing that some groups are introducing ‘aggression and rambunctiousness into a fledgling cooperation’.

In a post on X, Momodu recalled the 2025 gathering in Abuja, where opposition parties coalesced around ADC to challenge the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC).

He wrote: “I was most elated hearing these beautiful words. I was happy to see an Army veteran and General David Mark as Chairman, knowing he would brook no nonsense. But in recent time, some groups have introduced aggression and rambunctiousness into a fledgling cooperation. How can a coalition work if some groups insist they must produce the top ticket by donation and coronation, without election or persuasion?”

Momodu warned that ADC must enforce discipline before internal disagreements escalate, citing how former Governor of Rivers State, Nyesom Wike, consolidated power within the PDP.

“ADC should be a party of love and not a Fuji house of commotion,” he said.

The warning coincides with renewed clarifications from the Obidient Movement Worldwide, which has emphasised that former Anambra State Governor, Peter Obi, who recently defected from the Labour Party to the ADC, will not serve as a vice-presidential candidate to any politician, asserting that its support is exclusively for his emergence as Nigeria’s president in 2027.

“Everybody that was in that particular coalition contributed to that particular coalition with their hard-earned money. Nobody owns that political party, please, and please, don’t get it wrong,” Yunusa said.

He described Obi as a candidate capable of delivering what the Obidient Movement calls a “moral solution” to Nigeria’s leadership challenges, highlighting policy priorities including economic discipline, national security, and sustainable fuel subsidies. Yunusa also outlined Obi’s approach to foreign relations, saying, “The people of Nigeria are the ones that Mr Peter Obi will interface with as a gentleman. And then he will also link up with the international community to ensure that they’ve got that particular respect they desire.”

Addressing criticisms over Obi’s political mobility, Yunusa said structural challenges within the Labour Party necessitated his defection to ADC. “Forces in power deliberately undermined the party’s functionality. If your house is being deliberately set on fire, would you remain inside it? There was a calculated attempt to destroy what was being built,” he said.

Yunusa said that Obi’s decision to join ADC followed consultations with a broad coalition of groups seeking national reform. “Ordinarily, Peter Obi would flow with the people who are calling for him,” he said, noting that young Nigerians involved in the process are “the deciders” of his political trajectory.

The Obidient Movement has committed to following a transparent ADC presidential primary and stated it will act collectively with Obi should the process be compromised, signalling continued vigilance over party discipline and coalition cohesion.

As Nigeria approaches the 2027 elections, Obi’s positioning within ADC, alongside warnings from figures like Momodu, underscores the ongoing tension between coalition building, party discipline, and the ambitions of influential political actors in the opposition landscape.

Additional info: The Guardian