Dear Destiny Friends,

Every human being experiences one form of pain or another, and in different ways, as the journey of life progresses. The pains of a lady in search of a child is quite different from the pain of a broke man. The pain of a student who failed an examination is quite different from the pain of a divorced man/woman. The pain of an injured person is quite different from the pain of one, who has experienced failure in business. The pain of a politician who failed an election is different from the pain of someone who has lost a loved one. Pain means different things to different people.

In all these, the manner the pains are processed and managed, is what ultimately makes the difference. Speaking from a personal experience, it is worthy of note that every pain has an associated gain if considered critically and wholistically. I have experienced failure at one time or another in my academics, relationship, business and career, but one thing is certain, I learnt a lot from each experience, and it helped to shape me for the next opportunity.

One may be wondering how pain can lead to gain. Yes, every pain has a corresponding lesson for one for learn. Let’s take a case study of a student who has failed an examination. Does it mean the student is a failure? No. I’m of that the student either needs to prepare more or work on areas he didn’t perform well. Again, does it really mean that a man, who performed badly in business is a failure? Again, no! It might be case of negligence, bad decision, not learning the ropes or not paying attention to details. These are situations he can correct if learns from his mistakes, and the previous pain will metamorphose into gain.

Sometimes, we view pain as sorrow, affliction or injury, but that’s not what pain connotes in the real sense. A great mind feels pain, and seeks solution.

Pain can be a blessing if one is able to think out of the box. We all learn from our pains and mistakes. It is imperative for one to run away from anyone who hasn’t experienced failure in life because anyone who has experienced failure has a way of impacting knowledge to others. For instance, imagine someone who has failed in business, marriage, election and examination advising their mentees how to deal with the shame, pain and failure, the lessons will be huge and impactful more than a person, who has no experience.

As a matter of fact, it is said that a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other peoples’ mistakes. Mistakes and failures come in different shapes and sizes, and they mean different things to different people. Let’s take a case study of a divorced man or woman, who gets re-married to a partner interested in their vision; will one call that a pain of sorrow? I personally think it’s a pain of gain if they fail fast in the marriage and move on to the next person passionately and interested in supporting the vision.

Let’s take it a little bit further, anyone who has failed in their relationship would have picked up one lesson or the other and if the person goes into another relationship, they will learn from their mistakes, and try not to repeat their previous mistakes.

It’s good to cry when a relationship didn’t work out, especially after investing so much emotions into it, but in the midst of crying, kindly take an inventory into the pros and cons and see if the gains are more than the losses, if that’s the case, you really gained.

In the journey of life, there’s no venture without some level of pain. We all must undergo one form of pain if we must go to the next level of life and this next level entails some kind of sacrifice. Some people will have less sleep to read and research, some will volunteer, others might have to pay for a course or even work on their diet to get a particular body physique.

It’s a fact of life that nothing good comes easy, if you want to have a good physique, one will have to eat healthy and exercise well. Abstaining from fats, junk food, and alcohol are part of the pain we must undergo to gain the kind of body we desire. So, whenever you experience a form of pain, please don’t take it personal because the rain falls on every roof without exception.

Let’s put this into perspective; anyone who wants to be delivered from the pain of a bad tooth must be prepared to go through the agony of tooth the extraction. If one decides to keep the bad tooth, it might decay and affect another tooth.

So, one must be prepared to put in more in their craft or life, to get more out of their craft or life, and this involves investing time and effort for life to offer its bounties to you. This can be done refusing or despising to engage in free lunch or frivolities. Decide today to launch yourself into action by paying today to play later. However, anyone that decides to play now, will unfortunately pay later.

In conclusion, to get the gain that comes with pain, one must intentionally decide to go through the burning furnace which entails doing the needful. Refuse to be in the comfort zone, because nothing great has been done in the comfort zone. All great ideas and actions were executed under unfavorable conditions and atmosphere which came with mixed feelings and reactions, but at the end of the day, ones determination excelled over one’s feeling.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Every human being is endowed with natural fitness to perform optimally any given assignment,  or endeavour. These capacity fitness are, but not limited to mental, physical, social, academical, financial, spiritual, and emotional. When any of these great areas is lacking, an immediate vacuum which needs to be filled is created. To fill this vacuum therefore, one will need to perform a kind of surgical test to ascertain the source of the leak.

To put it into perspective, imagine a sick person with variety of symptoms, who can’t specifically say what the actual problem is; the best thing for them is to see a doctor, undergo some tests for proper diagnosis. The test will give an informed insight into what’s going on in the person’s body system.

This is simply how the surgical room of success works. All major work is done inside the room before healing takes place. As human beings, we all need to continually visit the surgical room to not only examine ourselves, but also, to develop ourselves. Yes, we need the surgical room to develop not only ourselves, but our craft.

In this surgical room, we don’t need a battalion, no, we just need the right people with the right vision, mindset and attitude. People who share similar values and goals. People we hold in high esteem. In this room, we don’t need much voice, but a lot of silent meditation to aid in fashioning our craft. A much more clearer scenario is the case of a web designer, who works at the backend to fix a website. When he is done, the work is made public.

The same principle is applicable when a blogger is working on an article. During the process of writing the article, he is alone with his thoughts reading, researching, writing and editing, and when he is done, the article will be published.

This is simply how life works; we all need silence to go through our phases. During this stage, we don’t need to be there for everyone, just the important people in our life who understand the surgical seasons, experience, and experience we are going through.

Above all, a critical area that all progressive humans need to pay great attention to is the health and mind. Both of them play a critical role in taking anyone to the next level of life.

Let’s look at the surgical room from another perspective; without good health on your side, there’s little anyone can do. Without a good functioning mind, there’s little anyone can do. And without God on your side, one is literally helpless. That’s why it’s very important for people to take a cursory look into their lives to see where they are missing the dots.

To effectively do this, one will have to go to the surgical room to critically examine his health, profession, psyche finance, social and emotional output among others to see if there’s a leak anywhere. One may be wondering why this is important; the surgical room is where major surgeries are performed.

In the surgical room, only experts are allowed because mistakes are not allowed, no matter how insignificant. Only people with eye for details, listening ear and most importantly supportive hands are allowed in the surgical room.

In the journey of life, we all need the surgical room to move to the next stage. For the surgical room to be successful, one would need to subject his own personal life to surgical operation, and this entails seeking a place of solace for self examination and reevaluation. In this surgical room, one needs to practice the art of silence and meditation to hear the inner still voice speaking to them.

One of the reasons most people find it difficult to get to the next level of success is because they are surrounded by many dissenting voices, which are living rent-free in their minds. This voice makes it hard for them to hear properly. It should be noted that in the journey of life, nobody knows you more than you know yourself, therefore, it’s important for one to be conscious of what to avail themselves to. This is because if one allows everyone to rent a space in their head, confusion will set as numerous voices will speak simultaneously and incoherently.

Imagine, if you are the owner of a house, it will be difficult for anybody to tell you what to do because they know you have been able to figure out what you want, and this is simply how life works.

Therefore, the surgical room for success is silence and concentration. You speak less,  and do more.

In one of my masterpieces, I shared the six pillars of success namely: family, health, finance, spirituality, vocation/career, and personal development. As human beings we must continually strive to attain these six pillars by reevaluating and reexamining our lives on a continuous basis, and to effectively do this, one needs to apply the surgical principle of silence.

Again, one might be wondering how the surgical room of silence works. Let’s imagine a case where God wants to talk to you, he won’t organise a conference call to talk to you, He will speak to you privately, and this can only be done where you are in his presence seeking him silently via meditating or either when one is praying and worshiping him, or one is listening to what he’s saying via meditation.

It’s worthy of note that in the surgical room of success, nobody will be there with you except the doctor and his team. Again, that’s simply how life works, you don’t need much crowd; you only need the right people. In some cases, you need to work alone because it’s better to have one trustworthy friend than one million fake friends.

In conclusion, for the surgical room of success to work efficiently and effectively, one needs to be silent for the operation because nobody, and I repeat, nobody will save you. One will have to purge himself of the toxic substances by way of detoxification to rejuvenate.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

There’s no doubt that everyone wants to make it big in life though it takes quite a lot to achieve that no matter the field. However, some have become famous by starting small, some others made it big with little effort, some made it with recommendations, while some made it big by the work they did, which was greatly appreciated by the universe.

On a personal note, when I published my first book Design Your Destiny, I was literally unknown in any space, but because the book was so good, it got lots of reviews and recommendations from New York City Schools (High Schools and College), government institutions, communities and resource persons. I was even interviewed several times by television stations, appeared on the New York Times and got invitations from the United Nations; all because of one book.

Ordinarily, one would have to write couple of books before trending as a celebrity author, but here I am getting recognition as a first time author. It should be noted however, that before I wrote the book, I have been sharing inspiring articles focused on human capacity development, with the mission of inspiring the younger generation on my personal blog.

In the journey of life, everyone is encouraged to start small if the means of starting big is unavailable. Not everyone will have the capacity and competence to start big; one would have to learn the ropes. That’s why I have always counseled anyone,  who intends to make an impact in the society or the world in general. It’s always good to do what you can with what you have. Do not wait for the perfect time to strike because done is always better when best is not done.

Sometimes we want the dust to clear before we begin, but we fail to understand that the ship doesn’t wait for the storm to calm before it sails. Starting small entails learning the ropes of life that are applicable to one’s profession, vocation, academics, career, business, health or general existence.

It’s generally known that the journey of a thousand miles begins with one right step in the direct direction. So, to start small, one needs is to figure out what they really like, and have the courage to begin. The journey and process might not really be easy, but with the right amount of discipline, determination and consistency, a progressive mind will overcome the challenges.

In starting small, preparation is needed. When the needful is done, it’s only normal for the right opportunities that will make one big to manifest all things being equal.

Again, in starting small, failures, disappointments, setbacks, challenges and unforeseen events will definitely creep in, but one must not to give up because of the big picture. The imperfect nature of life explains why rooms must be created for mistakes, and subsequent corrections.

One of my mentors once told me, “done is better than perfect when perfect is not done”, meaning that it’s better to give your best no matter how bad it may appear to be. So don’t wait for the atmosphere to be set before you strike.

One of the advantages of failing first is that it will give you experience which can serve as a story in the near future. According to an author, Sonia Sotomayor, “success on its own is a reward, but failure is a great teacher too, and to be feared”.

As humans, it’s normal for one to always feel bad when they fail or make mistakes, but if we can think out of the box, there are many inspirations and lessons we can learn from the failures. Here is my moral advice: It’s good to fail fast.

According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, a Ghost Writer, “refuse to capitalize on your gains, anyone can do that. The important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires a certain degree of intelligence”. This statement corroborates with the statement of Sonia Sotomayor, which dwells on how failures can shape one if we learn from the lessons. So, Dr. Garnett is basically advising we gain more from our failures than our gains because not everyone can manage failure.

There have been scenarios where some people took their life because of the associated shame they will experience because of the stigma of their mistakes simply because they can’t deal with it. Let’s contrast the case with someone who has experienced success, the ecstasy will be over and beyond. Almost everyone can manage it unless people who allow success make them proud as opposed to being humble.

When we make it big, it’s only normal for friends and family to come around to celebrate success. The mistakes some friends and family make is to allow people who didn’t contribute to their success to take a greater chunk of their blessings more than the people who actually did the work. I’m not insinuating family and friends are bad, no. What I’m trying to say is that there should be balancing.

In my sojourn and experience of life, I have come to understand the importance of starting small, sometimes that’s the best thing to do because it will give a good background of the foundational theories and experience one needs when he gets to the top.

 I have always told my mentees that I didn’t get to where I am by being stupid. This means I am very intentional at the way I live my life, and that translates to my business. I didn’t become a prolific and creative writer overnight, I didn’t become an author of two books overnight, I didn’t become a great public speaker overnight, nor did I become a good communicator overnight. I started small and overtime I began to learn from experienced people whose books I read, listened to their speeches and associated with them at close range. All these enabled me to grow in my space. This is one of the benefits of starting small. It will prepare you for the big task.

In conclusion, in whatever one desires to do, please consider starting small by doing the needful. By doing so, one will not have to explain the foundation of their wealth, experience and lifestyle that made them big.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com