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Adding Value: Harnessing the Fine Art of Silence and Patience by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

There are many components that contribute to the success of a progressive mind. Some of them are silence and patience. These two are relatively connected in terms of success and human development. It is noteworthy that if one is not patient enough, it might be difficult for such a person to reap the benefits of their labour.

Imagine a farmer, who has planted crops; he would have to water it, add manure/fertilizer, remove the weeds before he will be able to harvest. If the farmer does not exercise patience in nurturing the plants by applying the steps above, the tendency of the crops not coming good will be high.

In the same way, a progressive being will have to practice the art of patience and silence when they are building an institution or project. Silence will enable you to observe people and scenarios critically, while patience will allow you to tolerate people.

In recent times, I have learnt to be patient, and not to be hard on myself. I have also learnt to be patient with people in addition to listening and observing people critically.

What is silence, therefore? Silence is not merely the absence of sound; it is a state of tranquility and peace, an opportunity to disconnect from the cacophony of daily life.

The role of silence and patience cannot be over emphasized. Whether you are an entrepreneur, parent, student, professor or clergy, you need to practice the art of silence and patience for you to have clarity about life. In marriage, one will have to listen to their partner to understand their point. Parents will have to be patient with their children; students need patience to study and understand their course work while clergymen need to master active listening skills to hear from God. The list is literally endless.

Without patience and silence, one will have a major challenge in marriage, academics, learning a trader/skill, or working in the corporate field. In human relationships, one needs to utilize listening skills and patience to work with others. My late mother once said to me that human beings are the most difficult beings on earth, without patience you can’t work with them.

In the same vein, one needs to understand how silence works. Silence is a skill that needs to be understudied, and many are yet to understand how silence works, especially in the workplace. Silence means several things for several people. Silence can be ambiguous; it can mean approval, rejection, in difference, among a whole lot. Silence can also be used in a deceitful way. In communication, sometimes, what’s important is not what is being said, but what is not being said.

Even as Christians, we were taught about the importance of silence when one is seeking the face of God. When we want to talk to God, we pray, but when God wants to talk to us, we meditate and through silence can hear him. One needs attentive listening to hear God. For instance, for not granting your request can mean He’s communicating a different message to you. One needs to exercise patience and silence to hear from God.

Let me share a practical example of how patience and silence work. Imagine praying to God or asking your benefactor for a favour, and there seems to be a delay. Did you know the reason might simply be because you have not earned the capacity to receive it. The reason God or your benefactor is delaying in answering you might be because they might still be working on you knowing that you might not be able to process or handle it if granted at once.

Sometimes in life, one will have to be mentally, socially, financially, and academically prepared for an opportunity, otherwise, disaster might meet you at the other side of the aisle. Just like marriage, one needs to be spiritually, mentally, and financially stable to dabble into it, or those involved have just inadvertently created a recipe for failure. That said, it is obvious that one needs silence to increase and grow in wisdom, strength, and learning sustain.

It’s also important to state that patience is not a sign of weakness or passivity, but rather a strength that can bring tremendous benefits to both our personal and professional lives.

Patience is a key ingredient in fostering healthy and meaningful relationships. It encourages us to listen attentively, empathize, and understand others’ perspectives. By giving people the time they need to express themselves, we cultivate trust, build rapport, and foster stronger connections.

On the other hand, patience helps you to control your emotions and respond objectively to certain situations when things don’t meet your expectations. Managing emotions is a skill that needs to be understudied.

To understand how patience and silence work, one needs a discerning spirit because patience us needed to listen and hear well.

Consider the case of Joseph in the Bible, who was thrown into the pit by his brothers; he was sold to merchant travelers and imprisoned by Pharaoh. In all these, he was patient. He never queried anyone. Does that mean he doesn’t have an option? No, I would think, sometimes in life, there are situations that are beyond one.

One might be thinking the universe has conspired to work against him, but that’s not the case, because the universe is working to bless him. Even when he was in prison for an unjust cause, he didn’t cause a scene. The moral here is that Joseph practiced silence in addition to being patient enough to know what life and God has in stock for him especially since he knows his hands are clean.

We all experience the same misfortune in life, your detractors might be setting you up for failure, but, in reality, they are setting you up for success.

To master the art of active silence; say nothing when you have nothing to say; only speak when you need to clarify or solidify you point; when it’s better to say nothing or left unsaid; when you don’t have a receptive or active listener; when you don’t want your feelings to be known; when you have the power to change something; when an opportunity comes your way, or when your opinion is requested.

Do you know a study by journal hearts that found that two minutes of silence can be more relaxing than listening to music? According to medical philosophers, new brain cells are regenerated because of silence. Practicing silence comes with numerous benefits, among which are: relieving stress and tension. It makes one a great thinker. Indeed, silence is golden and people who know how to be quiet tend to learn so much more.

In conclusion, patiently work hard in silence, and let your success make the noise. Silence encourages you to focus on your efforts, remain humble, and let the fruits of your endeavors be the evidence of your hard work. It discourages boastful behavior and instead, promotes modesty and quiet confidence.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Seek Wisdom and Knowledge by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

There is no gainsaying the fact that everyone desirous of making impact in life must live a life of purpose. This is where knowledge and information come to play. It is these knowledge and information that will set an individual apart from his contemporaries.

I strongly believe, if one is not informed, they are ill-informed, and when they are ill-informed, they can’t perform well in any given endeavour. This is because information leads to reformation and transformation. We can therefore, confidently say that information leads to formation because everyone is a product of what they know.

Knowledge acquisition is one of the best things that can happen to anyone. People with knowledge are revered, and highly respected. Having knowledge is like having money. People from all walks of life will seek you.

There are different kinds of knowledge, and they include Revealed Knowledge, which comes from those who wrote the Bible and Intuitive Knowledge, which comes from the mind. It is the ability to gain knowledge without conscious reason or explanation.

Others are Empirical Knowledge, which is  information gained through observation, experimentation, and direct experience, rather than through theoretical reason or intuition; Authoritative Knowledge, which is the knowledge a man has because of his expertise in a particular field; and finally but not the least, Rational Knowledge, which is a form of knowledge that uses reasoning and philosophy to understand the world.

From this illustration, a decisive mind can see that knowledge is priceless. Knowledge is like education. It can provide security and access. Even the Book of life says in Proverbs 4:13, “your education is your life, guard it very well”; and in Hosea 4:6 that “my people perish for lack of knowledge”.

From my personal experience in life, apart from death, one of the greatest levelers of all time is education. This is because the child of a certified pauper can become a man of means tomorrow if properly educated. That explains why children from humble backgrounds ought to take their education very seriously, especially if they don’t have affluence.

On a personal note, I come from a very humble background, my late parents didn’t have the opportunity of acquiring a decent education, but they knew the value of education and endeavored to give me and my siblings a decent education. In retrospect, when I look back and see some of my contemporaries whose parents couldn’t give them a decent education, I bless my late parents because education has exposed me to lots of opportunities in the United States, and the global world in addition to granting me an audience with the high and mighty in society.

Sometimes, when I look at my modest achievement, I’m deeply humbled because I know it is the grace of God. Who am I to author two amazing trailblazers’ books, get featured and profiled by the New York Times, engage in high level conversation with leaders of thought and captains of industries. Apart from the grace of God, intentional seeking of knowledge, and wise counsel from mentors and strategically positioning myself have been some of the cornerstone to my success.

Imagine if my late parents didn’t give me a decent education and opportunity of travelling to the United States, most of these opportunities and exposure wouldn’t have been readily available.

When one is decently enlightened, educated and informed about life, their level of reasoning and understanding differ from an ordinary man. If one desires to go far in life, one must seek knowledge.

It is your knowledge that sets you apart from others.

According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished Ghostwriter, “If you are a man of great knowledge, people will have great respect for you. If you are a man of great wisdom, people will have great reverence for you. And if you are a man of both, great knowledge and great wisdom, you will be the most eminent of men. But in real terms, people don’t care how much you know, or how much wisdom you have, unless they know how much you care.”

The moral of this quote is that despite the knowledge and information at one’s disposal, if one lacks empathy, their knowledge, experience and whatever they have mean nothing.

The importance of knowledge cannot be overemphasized. In our contemporary society, a fast way of attracting opportunities is by showcasing the knowledge at one’s disposal. It is so sad that many people don’t take time to read, research and learn new trends applicable in their industry, and in the world generally and as such, they find it difficult to fit in and grow.

It is instructive to note that when you seek knowledge, opportunities will seek for you. A major reason people are poor is simply because they are not solving problems and to solve problems, one ought to have understanding. Do you know that if you don’t have money, the reason is often because you are not solving a problem, or you are not solving enough problems, or you are not solving the right problem or you are not solving problems for the right people. Generally, we make money because we have something unique to offer to the world. Therefore, to solve problems, one must have knowledge and information.

We currently live in an age of technological, where skills, talent and creativity are in high demand. Any progressive being that desires to go far must be intentional in seeking knowledge. Successful acquisition of knowledge, information and understanding can lead to discernment and wisdom.

In conclusion, as you journey towards life, if you want to make an impact, seek opportunities, and earn more money, do yourself a favour by endeavoring to seek knowledge, wisdom, and information. You can’t get these by sitting on your sofa or staying in your comfort zone.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your DestinyHe can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Dealing with Failure by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friend,

Failure is one the dreaded, if not the most dreaded fears of the average human being. It competes favourably with poverty. Just like wealth and success boost the confidence of a person, so does failure humbles a man’s psyche. However, the ability to manage success as a skill, needs to be understudied to avoid failure.

In recent times, I have learnt to ask resourceful people more about their failures more than their success. As a matter of fact, people who have failed more have more to share than people who have succeeded. The irony of life is that most of the time, people tend to give more credence to those who have succeeded more than those who have failed.

Uninformed people see those who have failed as people with dirt or dent on their lives. In some cases, they are seen as nothing to write home about just because they failed. It’s instructive to note that failure is not alien to anyone. Everyone, at one time or another, experiences failure. What some people fail to understand however, is that the people who failed have a lot more to share than those who succeeded.

Just to put it in perspective, imagine a divorcee giving you a genuine advice on marriage; imagine a politician who has failed in several elections and later succeed giving you an advice on electioneering campaigns; imagine a businessman who failed in business up advising you on how to run a business; imagine a student who has failed a class advising you how to do well in  a class. The list is literally endless. One thing is certain, all these failures will come from the place of love, pain and fulfilment and will be properly metaphor into gain if properly utilized.

I have failed many times more than I have succeeded and this failure has humbled me.  If only our failures and mistakes are written on our face, no human will have a clean face. It’s so sad many people have allowed their mistakes and failures to define them.

To understand how to deal with failure, let’s explain the concept of failure with the word FAILURE.

Fall

Literally, when you fall, it means you have failed or fallen from an exalted position. Before one fails in life, one would have fallen. In contemporary times, uninformed people in our society tend to laugh at people who have failed elections, failed exams, failed in academics, failed in leadership positions, failed in marriage and failed in their personal and professional vocations. When you fail in life, the next thing is to acknowledge it and try to maximize the opportunity to bounce back.

Acknowledgement.

It’s only a fool who will do the same thing over and over again and expect to get a different result. When you make a mistake, the best thing to do as a leader is to acknowledge it and learn to avoid the mistake again. Failing to acknowledge your mistake will make people perceive you as having pride especially when one tries to apportion the blame to another person. When you acknowledge your mistake, the next stage is to investigate the mistake to avoid repeating it again.

Investigate.

This is the beginning of learning. When people investigate, they are trying to know more to verify certain information or acts. Without investigation, there will be little or no consequences. When it comes to failures, investigating a mistake doesn’t mean one is trying to find a fault, rather one is trying to know how to avert a similar problem.  When one has truly found the answers to a problem, one will begin to learn from the experience what truly happened.

Learn

Nothing elevates one than learning from one’s mistakes. When you learn from your mistakes, you will be poised to unleash your potential by turning your mistakes into your friend. It’s quite unfortunate that many people don’t take time to learn. Learning will strategically position one to avoid mistakes. It’s said, a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other people’s mistakes.  When one learns, one will understand how systems and structures work. When you learn more, you stand a better position to earn more especially when one has learned from their mistakes.

Understand

Failure in life comes with understanding. When one fails, one will see and understand life differently. Just to put this in perspective. Imagine a man who has fortune and has been a tremendous blessing to people and now lives in penury. Many of his beneficiaries will gradually slide to the next benefactor. Again, imagine a politician with influence as a Governor, Minister of President controlling and managing people and resources, one can’t imagine the beehive of people that will be trooping to his house and office daily seeking for favor. The day the man loses his position, he will understand the meaning of loyalty because the majority of people who were around him were simply there due to vested interests. If you call them sycophants, you won’t be totally wrong. This is simply the reality of life. Moral: Failure in life will give you understanding and wisdom.

When you experience this understanding, the best thing that can happen to you will be to realign with the right people with the right energy. Going back to the people who abandoned you literally means; one hasn’t learnt much and is about to make another terrible mistake.

Realign

Realignment comes with attraction. Just like kind attracts people with similar vision, purpose and energy attracts. Failure in life will make one practice alignment by taking stock of what’s working in and what’s not working. When one experiences failure, going to the same people, and situations that led one to the same mistake simply means the person hasn’t aligned well. When proper alignment has taken place, the next big stage is to evolve. This is where all the pieces will be put together to make failure have a meaning.

Evolve

When one evolves, it means one has metamorphosed into a new being. To evolve means one has grown and no longer operates from the place of lack. During my formative years in the USA, I used to be a horrible writer, but when you juxtapose the Henry Ukazu of 2010 and the Henry Ukazu of 2024, you will know the difference is clear. When you evolve, you will see a lot of transformation in your life.

Failure makes one evolve into a new beginning. To understand how one evolves, a newborn baby crawls before walking and running. In a similar vein, a child attends kindergarten school before attending elementary, middle school, high school, and college. All these are processes of evolution. Failure makes one evolve and transform into a better person. Failure has many parts and components and when they have been assembled, they will make one to evolve to a more refined and reformed being.

In summary, as you journey through life, see failure as an experience as opposed to a mistake. In that way, you will learn from it.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Be a Person of Purpose by Henry Ukazu

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Greetings Destiny Friends,

It is generally believed that the two most important dates in a person’s life are the day of his birth and the day of his purpose-discovery. Every human being is born with a purpose and a gift. One of the best things that can happen to anyone is to know his purpose, and work assiduously to fulfill it. It is important to note that the day one discovers his purpose is the day he becomes a millionaire.

The journey of purpose can be demanding and tasking, but if one is dedicated to fulfilling the purpose, he must be ready to face and overcome the associated challenges.

When one is blessed with a bright future, distractions are bound to come up so that the purpose will not be fulfilled. This is because when you succeed in your purpose, many people will benefit, and when you fail many people who are supposed to benefit, will suffer loss. That’s why it’s always good for someone to achieve success, no matter how little.

One of the best ways to succeed in life is by working with one’s gift or talent. One will easily attract opportunities, favour, blessings, and tractions when gift is involved in the endeavour. Even enemies will be forced to seek your services when you are the best person to do the job.

It’s worthy of note that when one is working on purpose, he will easily be misunderstood, and that’s okay, but when one succeeds, the ovation will change. The transformation and blessings that come with purpose is priceless. This is because one will be revered and highly sought after.

A man of purpose is focused like an eagle. He sees life’s bigger picture. And in spite of failure in business, academics, relationship/marriage, personal and professional challenges, a person of purpose will still strive because he knows his desire for success outweighs his fear of failure.

It is easy for one to give up in life when one experiences setbacks after investing time and resources into a project. Imagine spending years to invest enormous amounts of money and time on a project and it still fails. That can be disastrous. There are many things that can make one lose focus in life. Also, imagine investing months and years studying for a degree only for one to fail because of one or two marks; it could be traumatic. Imagine investing ten, twenty and thirty years in a marriage and it fails, it could be heartbreaking. Imagine spending a lot to build a mansion only for it to be destroyed in minutes due to faulty foundation or act of nature. The story is endless.

To be a person of purpose, one must be determined to overcome the vicissitudes of life. Imagine knowing your purpose and gift, but lack the capacity, structure, and resources to diligently pursue it. It will take an extraordinary man with an extraordinary mindset to stay focused especially when faced with financial challenges.

Couple of years ago, a friend reached out to me for a job opportunity which pays almost three times of my salary. I was tempted to take the offer, but I had two concerns, first, I was being considered for a job by the Mayor of New York. Secondly, the job I was being touted for is a totally different industry. After giving it a serious consideration, I had to decline the job offer. Even though it appeared unpopular to a lot of people, I considered it a good decision because life is not about money but making an impact in the lives of people. Yes, the money is good, but I thought it would be great to stay focused on one’s purpose because at the end, it will ultimately attract opportunities which money can’t buy.

To be a man of purpose, there are two great and indispensable traits a man must possess, they are vision and focus. While the vision will keep the dream alive, focus will be the vehicle to actualize it. Every human being should pray for the grace to know their purpose and understand the associated vision that comes with that calling and then abide in that calling by being focused.

There are many men of purpose who have overcome the challenges of life to achieve great feats. One of the most revered men of history is the former late President of South Africa, President Nelson Mandela, who opposed South Africa’s apartheid system. He faced harsh conditions to deter his resolve to give all South Africans equality. He spent twenty-seven years in prison. Upon his release, he contested for the presidency and won. Now, that’s a man of purpose.

Another interesting story is Abraham Lincoln who lost his job in 1832; got defeated for State legislature in 1832. Failed in business in 1833. Failed in business. Elected to State legislature in 1834. His sweetheart died in 1835. He had a nervous breakdown in 1836. He was defeated for speaker in 1838. He was defeated for nomination for Congress in 1843. He was elected to Congress in 1846. Lost renomination in 1848. He was rejected for land officer in 1849. He was defeated for U.S Senate in 1854. He was defeated for nomination for Vice President in 1856. He was defeated for U.S Senate in 1858 and got elected as the 16th President of the United States of America.

What’s the moral here? It’s not easy to face all these challenges and still remain focused on the big picture. President Lincoln can be described as a man of purpose. If we are honest to ourselves, very few people can survive these setbacks.

In conclusion, I don’t know what your storyline is, but one thing I can guarantee you is that good things don’t come easily. One will be groomed like gold goes through fire to become gold. Also, oil will have to be refined before it can be transformed into a fine finished product. As you journey through life, resolve to be internally focused and mentally determined to be a person of purpose.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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