Adding Value
Adding Value: Harnessing the Fine Art of Silence and Patience by Henry Ukazu
Published
1 year agoon
By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
There are many components that contribute to the success of a progressive mind. Some of them are silence and patience. These two are relatively connected in terms of success and human development. It is noteworthy that if one is not patient enough, it might be difficult for such a person to reap the benefits of their labour.
Imagine a farmer, who has planted crops; he would have to water it, add manure/fertilizer, remove the weeds before he will be able to harvest. If the farmer does not exercise patience in nurturing the plants by applying the steps above, the tendency of the crops not coming good will be high.
In the same way, a progressive being will have to practice the art of patience and silence when they are building an institution or project. Silence will enable you to observe people and scenarios critically, while patience will allow you to tolerate people.
In recent times, I have learnt to be patient, and not to be hard on myself. I have also learnt to be patient with people in addition to listening and observing people critically.
What is silence, therefore? Silence is not merely the absence of sound; it is a state of tranquility and peace, an opportunity to disconnect from the cacophony of daily life.
The role of silence and patience cannot be over emphasized. Whether you are an entrepreneur, parent, student, professor or clergy, you need to practice the art of silence and patience for you to have clarity about life. In marriage, one will have to listen to their partner to understand their point. Parents will have to be patient with their children; students need patience to study and understand their course work while clergymen need to master active listening skills to hear from God. The list is literally endless.
Without patience and silence, one will have a major challenge in marriage, academics, learning a trader/skill, or working in the corporate field. In human relationships, one needs to utilize listening skills and patience to work with others. My late mother once said to me that human beings are the most difficult beings on earth, without patience you can’t work with them.
In the same vein, one needs to understand how silence works. Silence is a skill that needs to be understudied, and many are yet to understand how silence works, especially in the workplace. Silence means several things for several people. Silence can be ambiguous; it can mean approval, rejection, in difference, among a whole lot. Silence can also be used in a deceitful way. In communication, sometimes, what’s important is not what is being said, but what is not being said.
Even as Christians, we were taught about the importance of silence when one is seeking the face of God. When we want to talk to God, we pray, but when God wants to talk to us, we meditate and through silence can hear him. One needs attentive listening to hear God. For instance, for not granting your request can mean He’s communicating a different message to you. One needs to exercise patience and silence to hear from God.
Let me share a practical example of how patience and silence work. Imagine praying to God or asking your benefactor for a favour, and there seems to be a delay. Did you know the reason might simply be because you have not earned the capacity to receive it. The reason God or your benefactor is delaying in answering you might be because they might still be working on you knowing that you might not be able to process or handle it if granted at once.
Sometimes in life, one will have to be mentally, socially, financially, and academically prepared for an opportunity, otherwise, disaster might meet you at the other side of the aisle. Just like marriage, one needs to be spiritually, mentally, and financially stable to dabble into it, or those involved have just inadvertently created a recipe for failure. That said, it is obvious that one needs silence to increase and grow in wisdom, strength, and learning sustain.
It’s also important to state that patience is not a sign of weakness or passivity, but rather a strength that can bring tremendous benefits to both our personal and professional lives.
Patience is a key ingredient in fostering healthy and meaningful relationships. It encourages us to listen attentively, empathize, and understand others’ perspectives. By giving people the time they need to express themselves, we cultivate trust, build rapport, and foster stronger connections.
On the other hand, patience helps you to control your emotions and respond objectively to certain situations when things don’t meet your expectations. Managing emotions is a skill that needs to be understudied.
To understand how patience and silence work, one needs a discerning spirit because patience us needed to listen and hear well.
Consider the case of Joseph in the Bible, who was thrown into the pit by his brothers; he was sold to merchant travelers and imprisoned by Pharaoh. In all these, he was patient. He never queried anyone. Does that mean he doesn’t have an option? No, I would think, sometimes in life, there are situations that are beyond one.
One might be thinking the universe has conspired to work against him, but that’s not the case, because the universe is working to bless him. Even when he was in prison for an unjust cause, he didn’t cause a scene. The moral here is that Joseph practiced silence in addition to being patient enough to know what life and God has in stock for him especially since he knows his hands are clean.
We all experience the same misfortune in life, your detractors might be setting you up for failure, but, in reality, they are setting you up for success.
To master the art of active silence; say nothing when you have nothing to say; only speak when you need to clarify or solidify you point; when it’s better to say nothing or left unsaid; when you don’t have a receptive or active listener; when you don’t want your feelings to be known; when you have the power to change something; when an opportunity comes your way, or when your opinion is requested.
Do you know a study by journal hearts that found that two minutes of silence can be more relaxing than listening to music? According to medical philosophers, new brain cells are regenerated because of silence. Practicing silence comes with numerous benefits, among which are: relieving stress and tension. It makes one a great thinker. Indeed, silence is golden and people who know how to be quiet tend to learn so much more.
In conclusion, patiently work hard in silence, and let your success make the noise. Silence encourages you to focus on your efforts, remain humble, and let the fruits of your endeavors be the evidence of your hard work. It discourages boastful behavior and instead, promotes modesty and quiet confidence.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Start Small, and Grow Big by Henry Ukazu
Published
6 days agoon
July 5, 2025By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
There’s no doubt that everyone wants to make it big in life though it takes quite a lot to achieve that no matter the field. However, some have become famous by starting small, some others made it big with little effort, some made it with recommendations, while some made it big by the work they did, which was greatly appreciated by the universe.
On a personal note, when I published my first book Design Your Destiny, I was literally unknown in any space, but because the book was so good, it got lots of reviews and recommendations from New York City Schools (High Schools and College), government institutions, communities and resource persons. I was even interviewed several times by television stations, appeared on the New York Times and got invitations from the United Nations; all because of one book.
Ordinarily, one would have to write couple of books before trending as a celebrity author, but here I am getting recognition as a first time author. It should be noted however, that before I wrote the book, I have been sharing inspiring articles focused on human capacity development, with the mission of inspiring the younger generation on my personal blog.
In the journey of life, everyone is encouraged to start small if the means of starting big is unavailable. Not everyone will have the capacity and competence to start big; one would have to learn the ropes. That’s why I have always counseled anyone, who intends to make an impact in the society or the world in general. It’s always good to do what you can with what you have. Do not wait for the perfect time to strike because done is always better when best is not done.
Sometimes we want the dust to clear before we begin, but we fail to understand that the ship doesn’t wait for the storm to calm before it sails. Starting small entails learning the ropes of life that are applicable to one’s profession, vocation, academics, career, business, health or general existence.
It’s generally known that the journey of a thousand miles begins with one right step in the direct direction. So, to start small, one needs is to figure out what they really like, and have the courage to begin. The journey and process might not really be easy, but with the right amount of discipline, determination and consistency, a progressive mind will overcome the challenges.
In starting small, preparation is needed. When the needful is done, it’s only normal for the right opportunities that will make one big to manifest all things being equal.
Again, in starting small, failures, disappointments, setbacks, challenges and unforeseen events will definitely creep in, but one must not to give up because of the big picture. The imperfect nature of life explains why rooms must be created for mistakes, and subsequent corrections.
One of my mentors once told me, “done is better than perfect when perfect is not done”, meaning that it’s better to give your best no matter how bad it may appear to be. So don’t wait for the atmosphere to be set before you strike.
One of the advantages of failing first is that it will give you experience which can serve as a story in the near future. According to an author, Sonia Sotomayor, “success on its own is a reward, but failure is a great teacher too, and to be feared”.
As humans, it’s normal for one to always feel bad when they fail or make mistakes, but if we can think out of the box, there are many inspirations and lessons we can learn from the failures. Here is my moral advice: It’s good to fail fast.
According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, a Ghost Writer, “refuse to capitalize on your gains, anyone can do that. The important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires a certain degree of intelligence”. This statement corroborates with the statement of Sonia Sotomayor, which dwells on how failures can shape one if we learn from the lessons. So, Dr. Garnett is basically advising we gain more from our failures than our gains because not everyone can manage failure.
There have been scenarios where some people took their life because of the associated shame they will experience because of the stigma of their mistakes simply because they can’t deal with it. Let’s contrast the case with someone who has experienced success, the ecstasy will be over and beyond. Almost everyone can manage it unless people who allow success make them proud as opposed to being humble.
When we make it big, it’s only normal for friends and family to come around to celebrate success. The mistakes some friends and family make is to allow people who didn’t contribute to their success to take a greater chunk of their blessings more than the people who actually did the work. I’m not insinuating family and friends are bad, no. What I’m trying to say is that there should be balancing.
In my sojourn and experience of life, I have come to understand the importance of starting small, sometimes that’s the best thing to do because it will give a good background of the foundational theories and experience one needs when he gets to the top.
I have always told my mentees that I didn’t get to where I am by being stupid. This means I am very intentional at the way I live my life, and that translates to my business. I didn’t become a prolific and creative writer overnight, I didn’t become an author of two books overnight, I didn’t become a great public speaker overnight, nor did I become a good communicator overnight. I started small and overtime I began to learn from experienced people whose books I read, listened to their speeches and associated with them at close range. All these enabled me to grow in my space. This is one of the benefits of starting small. It will prepare you for the big task.
In conclusion, in whatever one desires to do, please consider starting small by doing the needful. By doing so, one will not have to explain the foundation of their wealth, experience and lifestyle that made them big.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Be Like the Eagle by Henry Ukazu
Published
2 weeks agoon
June 28, 2025By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
It is everybody’s desire to be successful in whatever field of endeavour he finds himself. It can be in career, family life, business endeavors or personal development. But there’s absolutely nothing good that comes easy. Everything in life involves a lot of hard work, smart work, dedication, discipline, network, sacrifice, prayers, and determination among a whole lot if one is intentional to succeed.
Of a truth, success is not for the faint-hearted. In all honesty, everyone wants to be ahead of everyone, especially contemporaries and funnily enough, the average human being sometimes have a bit of ill- feeling when competitors arise or seem to outsmart them either with better quality or price. The good thing about this however, is that it makes one sit up.
Now, this brings us to the essence of today’s article. For anyone to be ahead of their competitors, they must fly like the eagle. Eagles are known for their powerful build, sharp vision, and fearless nature. They are highflyers, capable of soaring to great heights, and gliding for extended periods. Eagles are also known for their tenacity, using storms to their advantage to gain altitude. Other notable characteristics include their strong talons and beaks, used for hunting, and their protective nature towards their young. These are some of the qualities that make it unique.
The eagle is not regarded as the king of the sky for fun, no. The eagle flies so high because that’s where it gets a chunk of its strength. This ability enables the eagle to take its prey and predators alike to it’s abode where it will have enough emotional and physical strength to dismantle them.
I will be sharing characteristics of an eagle to enable us know why we ought to be like the eagle if we want to soar.
VISION
The eagle has a sharp vision. Their vision is so precise. They can see farther than any animal. They possess exceptional eyesight, allowing them to spot prey from great distances. As human beings, we must have eagle eyes to know what we really want, and what we don’t want. Vision allows us to go for what we desire and deserve. When we have vision, we won’t wait for anyone to tell us when to strike. We flow through the wind despite the waves and heavy current and associated challenges. When our vision is precise, it will give people clarity to understand how they can assist us.
Let’s take a closer look at great leaders of this world who have come and gone. There are many great leaders that came and went but one characteristic that is common in all is “Vision”.
Vision is a successful leadership characteristic
You must have a vision that guides and leads your team towards the organizations or societal goals. The vision must be big and focused. A big, focused vision will produce big results
FLIGHT
Eagles are known for their ability to soar and glide, using their large wings to their advantage. Eagles can fly up to an altitude of 10,000 feet, but they are able to swiftly land on the ground. At 10, 000 feet, you will never find another bird. If you find another bird, it must be an eagle.
An eagle doesn’t mingle around with the pigeons. It was Dr. Myles Munroe who said that. Pigeons scavenge on the ground and grumble and complain all day long. Eagles are not. They fly and make less noise waiting for opportunities to strike their next prey or glide with the current of the storm.
Great leaders are problem solvers. They don’t complain like the pigeons do. They love to take challenges as the eagle does when the storm comes. As human beings, we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
It’s always good for one to take any fight to their home ground where it will give them advantage over their predators. For instance, a fish is stronger in water, but weak on land, a lion is stronger on land, but weak in water, a monkey is strong on trees but weak on air. Just like an eagle is strong on air and weak on water and land. That’s why it always takes its prey to the sky where they have greater advantage to shine.
As human beings, we also must know what we are naturally good at, the ability to know this will enable us to maximize our strength and work on our weakness. We can only do this when we know ourselves and what we are naturally good at. Our ability to focus on our expertise and what we are naturally good at will make us unique and ahead of our contemporaries.
TENACITY
The eagles are known for their ability to withstand storms and use them to their advantage, rising above the challenges. Watch an eagle when a storm comes. When other birds fly away from the storm with fear, an eagle spreads its mighty wings and uses the current to soar to greater heights. The eagle takes advantage of the very storm that lesser birds fear and head for cover.
Challenges in the life of a leader are many. These are the storms we must face as leaders to rise to greater heights. Like an eagle, a leader can only rise to greater heights if he takes up the challenges head on without running away from it. This is yet another leadership characteristic.
As humans, we all will experience challenges and setbacks, however, the ability to apply strength will go a long way to show how determined we are to overcome the hurdles that pose as challenges.
FEARLESS
An eagle will never surrender to the size or strength of its prey. It will always give a fight to win its prey or regain its territory.
Successful leaders are fearless, so we are expected to fear no man, but respect all men. They face problems head on. We are supposed to have the eagle fearless mindset regardless of how big the problem may appear. Confront your fear and rise or face your fear and run. The choice is yours.
VITALITY NATURE
One of the strongest characteristics of an eagle is their vitality. Eagles are full of life and are visionary, but they find time to look back at their life and re-energize themselves. This happens at about the age of 30. What happens is that when the eagles reach the age of 30, their physical body condition deteriorates fast making it difficult for them to survive.
What is interesting is that the eagle never gives up living, instead it retreats to a mountaintop and over a five-month period goes through a metamorphosis. As humans, we are expected to reexamine ourselves, retreat to a safe zone. We can do this by fasting as Christians, we can also do this by learning new skills, volunteering our time and seeking for mentors who can hold us by the hand to show us how the appearance of life is not the reality of life.
In conclusion, as human beings, we are encouraged to be like an eagle if we want to scale through life.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value: How Choice Affects Your Life by Henry Ukazu
Published
3 weeks agoon
June 21, 2025By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
One of the greatest strengths of a rational being is the freedom to do whatever they want. That’s a fact! But one thing is sure, and that is actions have consequences. Even at creation, Adam and Eve were given instruction to eat any fruit except a particular tree, but they disobeyed, ate the forbidden fruit, and were thrown out of the garden of Eden.
This simply means that as a human being, one is responsible for his own actions and omissions. Sometimes, we blame people as being responsible for our failures and mistakes, not realizing that nobody will insult your permission.
I have come to the realization that choice plays a fundamental role in our lives. The way we speak, the way we write, the way we dress, and the way we live our lives are all products of our choices. Before we eat a particular meal or even wear an outfit, we have several options. Before we serve any deity, we make a choice, and though there may be a level of external influence, we still have a role to play in the final outcome.
In recent times, I have developed the eyes of the eagle at looking at life from a vantage position. Anything I want, I strategically sit down and make strategic arrangements which will include what I need to do and what I need to deviate from. These are products of being intentional with our choices.
One of the greatest choices we’ll make as human beings is the choice of, who we will marry and how our life will become. I say this because we are the architect of our life. If you are intentional, how you live your life matters. This also entails the kind of jobs we do and the services we offer. They all define us in one way or another.
Some people are so intentional with their life that they make so much sacrifices spiritually, academically, financially, socially and even with personal development. They know what they want, and dare to go after it no matter whose ox is gored.
While they were intentional to plan their life by making sacrifices, some people are busy living their lives to the fullest and turns around to seek assistance from the person who has planned his existence. Life doesn’t work that way.
Just to let you know how decisive choice can be in the life of a progressive mind, consider President Donald Trump, who grew up to become a successful billionaire and two-term President. His brother, Fred Trump Jr., was an alcoholic who never managed to find success. It is interesting to know that they both have the same biological father and mother. They had the same upbringing, same school, but they had different outcomes. President Trump was intentional with his life and maybe his brother made a bad choice, or he was unintentional with this life.
The moral here is that we need to quit the blame game because we are the architect of our life. “Nobody” really owes us anything. Any favor we get from people is an act of gesture and not entitlement.
So, do yourself a favour, stop blaming your parents or anyone for how your life turned out! It is not your upbringing or genes that make you a success or failure. It is the choices you make in life that make or break you. You can decide to take ownership of your life and change the course of your life for the better.
There are numerous people who have transformed their lives from negative to positive. It’s all about determination and making the right choices.
The choice we make as human beings can either make or mar us. As a man, if you are mischievous in sleeping around, with different women, attending night clubs with several women, spending lavishly without being prudent, it won’t be long before poverty locates you.
Today, I charge you to sit down, and reflect on what kind of life you want to live and begin to intentionally work on it by making the right choices. I look forward to seeing you at the top.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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