Dear Destiny Friends,

Whatever the mind can believe it can achieve it – Napoleon Hill

Please permit me to begin this article with an experience I had while studying Taxation Law at New York Law School as a graduate student. I literally had a hard time understanding the concepts of taxation because it was radically and fundamentally different from the usual law I was exposed to. To make matters worse, I didn’t like numbers because I wasn’t passionate about the major. I merely enrolled into the programme to please my beloved late dad who likes the major because of the money he believed will come to the family upon graduation based on the research and information he got from his friends, who were in the profession.

Because I loved my late dad with passion, I always tried to please him. I keyed into the programme. During my first semester, I took a perquisite class Income Tax as required, and I was required to get a B to enroll into the main programme. Guess what, I couldn’t get the required score. I planned to drop from the programme for a course I have interest in, but the Dean of the Faculty advised me to take another professor which I did,  and to the glory of God I made it.

As soon as I settled for the main programme, reality dawned on me. I experienced the shock of my life when I couldn’t understand the complex nature of the course. I remembered one semester while I was preparing for the final examination I was confused as to what’s expected from me. I decided to check Facebook to relieve tension and I saw a post saying, you can never know what you don’t know. I say, yes, this is me. I can’t deal with taxation. I scrolled down again, I saw another post which said, “your desire for success should always outweigh your fear for failure”. I said, yes, this is so true. I will go with this positive statement and that became my best semester ever because I was awarded a $3,000 scholarship which earned me the friendship of the Registrar of the law school.

Fast forward into the programme, while I was having a conversation with the Registrar, he encouraged me with this statement, “Henry, never you lose hope because when you lose hope you have lost everything”. Why is this story important? In life, it is always important to believe in oneself. It’s easy to cast doubts and fear in the journey of life. If you are determined to succeed in life, it’s imperative that one must eliminate fear and doubts and replace them with faith, hope, positive affirmations and confidence. What we fail to understand is that for people to believe in you, you must believe in yourself. You must believe in yourself, and the first step in believing in yourself is overcoming fear.

Fear makes us lose hope, but and once you lose hope either in yourself or life generally, it will be difficult for you to succeed. Why am I saying this? Success and failure starts from the mind. As a mindset coach, I strongly  believe that given every equal opportunity everyone is a potential achiever, because we don’t have dull, but undeveloped brains.

When we talk of belief, a lot of factors come to mind. Do you know that whatever you believe is what will come to you? If you believe in yourself, people will believe in you, if you show fear, people will find it difficult to work with you.

Depending on your religion, if you believe in the power of your creator, you’ll get what you want. If you believe in a false ‘god’, you will get the temporary result. If you desire to be a Governor, President, author, pilot, lawyer, Television anchor, judge etc., you can have your dream come through if you believe in yourself and work on it. Nothing is received on a platter of gold. By the time you do the needful, luck and the universe will align with you.

You may be wondering how this works? I will share with you a practical example of how the power of believing works with the mind. There was a story of a medical doctor whose mother was sick. The doctor gave his mother a pill to take, the mother told the son he wants an injection, the son said, the pill will do the work, but his mother refused and said, she normally sees people come to his clinic and he gives them injections and they get better. The son said, he has been practicing medicine for a decade and he understands what patients need because every case is different.

After much persuasion, the mother took the pill but her health didn’t get any better. At long last, the son secretly filled the injection syringe with way, and injected his mother. In less than 24hours time, the woman began to feel better. That goes to say that everything we do in life starts from the mind. It’s because the old woman believed in the injection as opposed to the pill, that’s why her health improved.

The same principle is applicable in life, and in anything one wishes to do, provided it is positive. Believe in it and own it. Refuse to believe in the noise outside. Don’t allow anyone to rent space in your head, telling you it’s not possible.

Furthermore, the power of belief is the key that unlocks your ability to consciously create your reality. I am a big fan of belief. My belief factor fuels my energy. If I want to meet anyone or get any position, I activate my belief factor and trust me, it has not failed me. I say this because if the position is for me, or if the person is meant to be my friend, I strongly believe the water we shall drink will not flow pass us. That’s how the belief factor works.

It is instructive to note that you can only manifest what you believe is possible. If you can’t see it in your mind’s eye, how do you expect to live it? You must visualize what you believe in your mind by saying, I’m smart, I’ll succeed, I won’t fail. I’m strong. I can do it. I’m worthy of love, etc. According to Henry Ford, “whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.”

In conclusion, the ability to achieve your highest aspirations and taste depends on two things: belief and action. While belief is the foundation which shapes our thoughts, action determines the roadmaps that will lead us to the final outcome.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s a Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright to Success. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com 

Dear Destiny Friends,

One of the best things that can happen to any person is getting connected. Not only that, but having the best of connections. Connections come in various ways. There is always a distinct difference in the way you connect with yourself, children, parents, friends, colleagues, mentors, strangers, teachers, and boss. One must know what works with these people to connect with them, otherwise it might be difficult to get your desire, especially when it relates to opportunities.

You cannot underscore the importance of human or personal relationships. Despite getting formal education, good grades, and being the best in what you do, you must make an intentional effort to put yourself out there, and this entails relating with people both formally and informally.

The importance of human connection cannot be overemphasized; it’s just like a man who wants to get close to a lady. You must understand the love language, which can be words affirmation, gifts, acts of services or physical touch. All these entail connecting with the other person in the way they understand. When you use words instead of gifts, the lady might not respond positively; when you use gifts instead of time, you might miss the person, same way if you use words, gifts, physical touch but don’t show little act of service, she might see you as an unattractive being. This is why connection is very important.

Apart from being educated and doing what you need to do to succeed, did you know you need connection to succeed? Yes, you need connection to succeed because you might be the best singer, but if you don’t get an opportunity to sing, nobody might hear your voice. You might be the best writer, but if nobody gives you an opportunity to write, your work might not see the light of the day. We all need an opportunity to showcase our work to get publicity. The big question we need to ask ourselves is how do we connect to people?

Connection works in different ways. Everyone needs to have a connection. Your connection can be God, who you relate with spiritually; it can also be a mentor or benefactor who has the platform or access to the publicity you need. Most people even connect to a “god” who assists them with false wealth or opportunity. Your connection can be from the school you attended, social engagement/networking group you belong to or even strangers you meet on the streets. If you can engage them in fruitful conversation, you are setting up yourself for success

Connection can also be through a referral, recommendation, through marketing efforts, or an established platform. It could also be via your online presence where you share your work (article or videos)

To have the success you want, you need a connection with yourself, others, and your work. For connection to be effective, you must understand how your public, private and secret life works. Your public life is the way you relate with people while in public space, your private life relates with the way you relate with your family and close friends, while your secret life relates with the way you relate with yourself. Only you know this part of you, that’s why self discovery is very important. Let me explain how this works.

CONNECTION WITH YOURSELF

Self Leadership is a skill that needs to be developed if you are to maximize the potential you were given. You cannot connect with yourself if you don’t understand yourself. It is important to state that self-connection is the most fundamental and crucial of all connections because it will allow you to bring out the best in you, which means you’ll be able to tap into a purpose that lights up your life. It may come in the form of inner guidance, intuition etc. This connection is personal and can only be understood by you.

CONNECTION WITH OTHERS

As generally stated, success comes with a team. You need people to succeed in life. Without people in your life, your life might be hollow, especially when you need to get work done and can’t do it alone. While most problems you encounter stem from a connection to people, you wouldn’t want to live without them. It is instructive to note that connecting with the right people is hard and getting them to do things for you is even harder.

CONNECTION WITH YOUR WORK

You can connect with other people with your work. The desire to produce, contribute or create is in each and everyone of us. We all want the opportunity to engage in work that gives us great pleasure while being valued and handsomely rewarded. It is when you do your work perfectly well that your value will be noticed and appreciated.

A critical area of connecting with people is networking. Networking is about establishing, building, and nurturing long-term, mutually beneficial relationships with the people you meet. Like I always say, we live in a connected and social economy with the invention of the internet and social media where the world is now a global village.

Do you know that networking has gone global? Yes, who you know might open the door for you, but who knows you will give you the seat. This is because you might know former President Obama, but the big question is, does Obama know you? You might know Henry Ukazu due to his global works on youths and Human Capacity Development, but does Henry Ukazu know you?

Experts agree that the most connected people are often the most successful. When you invest in your relationships -professional and personal – it can pay you back dividends throughout the course of your career because networking is a currency.

Networking is essential since it will help you develop and improve your skill set, stay on top of the latest trends in your industry, prospective mentors, partners, and clients, and gain access to the necessary resources that will foster your career development.

In conclusion, take time out today to think about the connections you have in your life and ask yourself, am I plugged into the right connection that will connect me to the success I desire? That should be your food for thought.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s a Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright to Success. He can be reached info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Everything in life has rules and processes. There is every tendency that one may hit the rocks if for any reason he fails to adhere to the set rules and processes. It is only on rare occasions that the luck or “grace factor” can come to one’s rescue. In legal matters, one must understand the laws, rules and exceptions to win a case. In mathematics, one must know the formula while in medicine, diagnosis is a prerequisite to ascertain the cause of any illness.

The focus of this article is on the necessity of soft skills in achieving success. Note that rules bordering on success are not exhaustive; they are more like basic and insightful ideas one can explore if one is determined to succeed.

Just like there are many ways to kill a rat, there are also many ways to succeed. However, one thing is certain, one must follow and adopt relevant principles. Principles are universal, and once rightly applied, one is bound to reap the benefits. I will be sharing some of the principles a diligent, progressive and success-prone mind can adopt.

While reading, working hard and smart on your business are important, it is imperative to note that learning a skill, developing your talent and gifts are equally important success magnets a rational mind must adopt. Some of these success principles which I call success magnets are built into soft skills among which are building capacity, having a good reputation, being diligent, consistency, networking, personal relationship, good attitude, good communication, problem solving skills, creativity and empathy.

You may be wondering how one applies these soft skills? Let’s start from the area of building capacity. In any area you would like to get prominence, you must endeavor to learn as much as possible to gain credibility. When you have developed capacity, it will be easy to apply soft skills.  It is sad to note that sometimes, some people put the cart before the horse, and think the universe will favour them. No, you must understand the process. No serious mind will give you an opportunity when you are yet to develop capacity. When you develop capacity, it will be easy to apply the soft skills.

Even if you haven’t developed capacity, you can creatively use soft skills to learn how to develop capacity if you have a good communication skill, great mindset and attitude.

These soft skills might sound ordinary, but trust me, they are very fundamental. This is because, even with theoretical and practical knowledge, if you don’t have these soft skills, you might appear unattractive. But if you have these soft skills, you can learn both theoretical and practical knowledge.

It is easy to say ‘I want to succeed’, but when we are exposed to the diligent and consistent work we must do, we’ll rather remain in our comfort zone. Trust me, I have been there, but I refuse to stay there because I have since understood that there’s no gain in playing little when you can play big.

On a personal note, I normally do all within my reach to give my best shot by preparing for the best and expecting the worst to the extent it goes south. As you may know, nothing is guaranteed in life, no matter how hard you work, or how much trust you may have in your work. You can do all you are expected to do and still fail. Yes, you can have theoretical, practical and social skills and still fail. In such a situation, just know that your time has not come yet.

It’s important to note that there’s no substitute for excellence.  It’s either the work is good or not. To achieve excellence, endeavor to spend one percent of your time in an area of your life you have a strong interest in or whatever you are passionate about. By doing, you will develop expertise.

Another great rule for success is surrounding yourself with greatness. By this, I mean people who are exceptionally good in what they do. They might not be in your areas of interest, but if they are, that’s a plus. These people might be younger or older than you, they must have certain traits or values you admire, but more importantly, they should bring out the best in you.

Most times, in our quest to make an impact in life, we tend to focus on hard work which is good, but experience and life has taught me to focus on what ignites your spirit and soft silks can be the game-changer. When you channel your energy on where you are celebrated, you will understand the importance of value. Imagine working with someone who doesn’t understand the value you bring to the table, all your work will be considered as mere service, but someone with a heart of service, gratitude and appreciation knows the importance of value when they see one. This is the simple reason why most employers and resourceful beings make conscious efforts to retain certain people despite the noise outside.

When you are successful, there’s this level of happiness and fulfillment that comes to you. This success comes to you because you have done something unique like having mentors or role models. Let’s take a minute to discuss mentors and role models, and their importance.

If you will agree with me, success leaves clues where it derived its strength and foundation. There’s nothing in life that doesn’t have a foundation. As you journey through life, find mentors and role models who have already achieved what you would like to achieve. Just like you study what the happiest couples have done to stay together for decades if want true love; you can also learn from the experience of those whose marriage didn’t work, they might give you one or two advice that might be more beneficial to you than couples whose marriage never broke up.

If your dream is to be the best lawyer in your city or State, study what the best lawyers in your city or country did to achieve their reputations. If you want to be a World Champion, study the lives of World Champions, and learn how they did it. If you want to be a millionaire, find millionaire role models who you would like to be someday. If you want to be an entrepreneur, find a few entrepreneurs who inspire you and study how they achieved what they have. Without a doubt, mentors and role models are your shortcuts to unleashing your greatness. By learning from the experiences of others, you will increase your possibility of succeeding, and avoid unnecessary mistakes.

Give and Give: This principle is mind-blowing. As humans, we are naturally selfish, we do care for ourselves most times more than others do. Don’t get me wrong, you need to care for yourself first. However, for the purpose of this principle, I want you to know that you will get what you want faster when you help other people to achieve what they want. Life is not about you, neither is it centered on you . The average man seeks what he can receive from the world. The extraordinary man seeks what he can give to the world. When you assist other people without having an expectation, they will be glad to go the extra mile for you if they have an appreciative mindset. And of course, a lot of people do!

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s a Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright to Success. He can be reached info@gloemi.com