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Scuffle Of Crushing On Other People While You Are In A Relationship
By: Promise Oshewa
Marriage might not stop you from being seriously attracted to other people. How does it feel to be in this situation?
It’s true what they say; relationships and marriages require work and effort; lots and lots of work and effort. Necessary sacrifices and a lot of inconveniences are often borne for the continued existence and peace of the relationship.
One of the most underrated struggles people in relationships face is how to handle themselves when they have serious crush on other people.
Here’s the thing: being genuinely in love with a man or woman does not magically take away the inclination to be attracted or to fall in love with other people.
If you think that getting your dream guy will automatically make you immune to every other man, you are on a long thing. As a matter of fact, life seems to somehow have a way of bringing the most amazing people of the opposite sex your way just after you have already gotten into a relationship or decided to settle down with someone.
For example, if you have been following the popular Starz series, “Power”, you must have seen that episode, where Tasha [Naturi Naughton] was wondering out loud at the different course her life might have taken if she had met her husband’s lawyer, Terry Silver [Brandon Dixon] earlier than she did.
Getting into a serious relationship or even walking down the aisle to recite your wedding vows in front of God and man will not stop you from being attracted to other people. It’s all part of the natural process. It’s one of the struggles you’ll likely experience and temptations you’ll have fight off to stay true to your partner.
When you find yourself attracted to someone while in an exclusive relationship with someone else, one of the things that you’ll have to wrestle with is the consideration of what could have been… the feeling of having moved too fast.
You’ll find yourself wondering what could have happened if you had waited a bit longer and if life would have been different with this new person instead of your partner.
But you really can’t allow yourself dwell on all that.
You know the grass is not always greener on the other side, and risking your relationship for something as uncertain and [possibly] fleeting as an attraction could have disastrous, regretful consequences; especially if your relationship is going on pretty well already.
It’ll require a lot of discipline, especially if it’s a kind of lure that refuses to go away or one that you find yourself getting too weak to fight.
You will also find yourself making comparisons between both people, and there’s every likelihood that your partner will lack in some areas where that other person excels.
One thing that’ll help is to think about what you are attracted to in that new man or woman and see if there are ways you can improve on those things in your partner and/or in your relationship.
If your attraction is fixed on things you can’t change or modify, just remind yourself of all the good things your partner does right… all the good things that made you say yes in the first instance.
Also try as much as possible to limit contact with such person.
In the end, it boils down to how committed you are to that partner and your relationship.
If it’s worth it, you’ll fight to make it work, even if it means passing up the opportunity to chase [and get] some of the gorgeous men and women you’ll ever see in your life.
Featured
Court Sends Woman to Prison for Abusing Tinubu’s Son, IGP on Social Media
Olamide Thomas, who reportedly threatened Seyi Tinubu on social media, was on Friday, arraigned before a Federal High Court in Abuja.
Olamide was arraigned by the office of the Inspector-General of Police (IGP), Kayode Egbetokun, before Justice Emeka Nwite on a three-count charge.
Olamide was alleged to have, sometime in 2024, knowingly and intentionally transmitted communication in the form of video recording through a computer system or network on her social media platforms wherein she made remarks in Yoruba language.
In the video, she was alleged to have stated: “Mr. Seyi Tinubu would die this year, and misfortune and calamity had befallen the Tinubu family, with intent to bully, threaten, harass the person of Mr Seyi Tinubu.”
The communication was said to have placed Seyi in fear of death, violence or bodily harm.
The offence is contrary to and punishable under Section 24 (2) (a) of Cybercrimes (Prohibition, Prevention, Etc.) (Amendment) Act, 2024.
In count two, the defendant was alleged to have intentionally transmitted communication in the form of video recording wherein she made remarks in Yoruba Language to bully, threaten, and harass the person of Egbetokun.
The communication was said to have placed Egbetokun in fear of death, violence or bodily harm.
The offence is contrary to and punishable under Section 24 (2) (a) of Cybercrimes (Prohibition, Prevention, Etc.) (Amendment) Act, 2024.
She, however, pleaded not guilty to the charge.
Olamide was arrested on allegations bordering on harassing and threatening Seyi Tinubu, Egbetokun, and the Police Public Relations Officer, Muyiwa Adejobi, in a viral social media post.
In the charge marked: FHC/ABJ/CR/636/2024 dated and filed on December 18 by the police team of lawyers led by A.A. Egwu, Olamide was sued as sole defendant.
Upon resumed hearing, Victor Okoye, who appeared for the police, informed the court that the matter was slated for arraignment and that he was ready to proceed.
After the counts were read to the defendant, she pleaded not guilty to the charge.
The defence lawyer, T J. Aondo (SAN), sought to move an oral application on his client’s behalf but the request was turned down.
Justice Nwite directed Aondo to file a formal bail application and adjourned the matter until December 30 for the commencement of trial.
The judge, however, assured the defence counsel that as soon as a bail application is filed in form of a motion on notice, the court would not hesitate to hear it.
Justice Nwite, thereafter, ordered Olamide to be remanded in Suleja Correctional Centre pending the hearing of her bail application.
Featured
Buhari Denies Ownership of Abuja Land Revoked by Wike
Former President Muhammadu Buhari, on Thursday, denied ownership of a piece of land purportedly allocated to him by the Federal Capital Territory Administration (FCDA) in Abuja.
Media reports indicate that Minister of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), Nyesom Wike, has revoked the ownership of 762 plots of land in the Maitama 1 District of Abuja, citing non-payment of statutory fees.
According to the trending reports, high-profile figures, including former President Muhammadu Buhari and former Chief Justice Walter Onnoghen, are among those affected.
The FCTA had also issued a two-week ultimatum to 614 other individuals and organisations, demanding they settle outstanding Rights of Occupancy (R-of-O) fees or risk losing their plots.
However, debunking the reports, the former President stated he is “not the owner of the said plot of land which is allocated in the name of a ‘Muhammadu Buhari Foundation.’”
In a statement issued by his media aide, Garba Shehu, in Abuja, the former President explained that he turned down the offer by the administration when it was presented to him.
The media aide further clarified: “When he and his cabinet members were invited to fill the forms and obtain land during his tenure in office, he returned the form without filling it, saying that he already had a plot of land in the FCT and that those who did not have should be given. He, therefore, turned down the offer.
“All those jumping up and down in the digital space talking about the rightfulness or the lack of it on the reported seizure of Buhari’s land in Abuja to get their facts right and stop dragging down the name of the former president.
“As with anything Buhari—and there is no surprise in this at all—there is a lot of buzz in the media on the reported seizure of a piece of land by the authorities of the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja, FCTA, allegedly belonging to the former President Muhammadu Buhari.
“Former President Buhari is personally not the owner of the said plot of land, which is allocated in the name of a ‘Muhammadu Buhari Foundation.
“The Foundation was itself floated by some utilitarian individuals around him who, it must be said, went about it in a lawful manner with the support of a number of well-meaning persons.
“But they ran into a roadblock in the land department of the FCDA, which handed them an outrageous bill for the issuance of the certificate of occupancy, very high in cost that did not at all compare with the bills given to similar organisations.
“It may have been that this was not erroneous, but a deliberate mistake, making the revocation of the land no surprise to anyone.
“As a person, the former President has a plot of land to his name in Abuja,” he added
Featured
Dangote Refinery, a Wonder of Modern Technology – Japan Ambassador, Business Community
The Dangote Refinery and Petrochemicals complex has been hailed as an astonishing masterpiece, showcasing Nigeria’s technological advancements on the global stage.
This accolade was shared by a delegation from the Japanese Business Community in Nigeria, led by Japan’s Ambassador-designate to Nigeria, Suzuki Hideo. The Dangote Group also reiterated that its petroleum products are in demand worldwide, as it expands its polypropylene section to reduce Nigeria’s reliance on imported polypropylene, a crucial material used in packaging, textiles, and the automotive manufacturing industries.
The Japanese delegation, which toured the impressive facilities housing both the Dangote Petroleum Refinery and Petrochemicals as well as Dangote Fertilisers, commended the state-of-the-art technology on display, noting that it reinforces Nigeria’s role as the gateway to Africa.
Managing Director of the Japan External Trade Organisation (JETRO), Takashi Oku, remarked that while Nigeria remains the gateway to Africa, the Dangote Refinery stands as a remarkable project that showcases the country’s technological progress. He added that the facility, as the world’s largest single-train refinery, is a point of immense pride for Nigeria. JETRO is Japan’s governmental organisation for trade and investment.
“We had heard about the excellence of the Dangote Refinery through the media but seeing it in person has left us truly amazed by its vastness and grandeur. It demonstrates that Nigeria’s population is not only growing but also advancing in technology. We are keen to collaborate with Nigerian companies, especially Dangote Refinery,” he said.
Emphasising that the refinery has bolstered Nigeria’s leading position in Africa, he further noted that the facility serves as an ideal introduction to the country for the global community.
Managing Director of Itochu Nigeria Limited, Masahiro Tsuno, also praised the sheer size and automation of the Dangote Refinery, calling it a miracle and one of the wonders of the world.
“I’ve seen many standalone refineries across the globe, including in Vietnam and the Middle East. However, this size of a refinery built by one single investor is probably a miracle in the world. And I’m just actually witnessing a miracle, to be honest, today,” he said. Tsuno indicated that his company would seek collaboration with the refinery across various sectors, including polypropylene and other petroleum products.
Commending the ambassador-designate and his team, which described the Dangote Petroleum Refinery as a wonder of modern technology, Vice President of Oil and Gas, Dangote Industries Limited, Devakumar Edwin, explained that the facility is the vision of a Nigerian investor- Aliko Dangote, designed and built by Nigerians, and intended to serve the global market.
He said that it is a point of pride that a Nigerian company not only designed but also built the world’s largest single-train refinery complex. Dangote Industries Limited, a Nigerian company, acted as the Engineering, Procurement, and Construction (EPC) contractor for the refinery. In the process, cutting-edge technologies from around the world were incorporated to ensure that the facility meets the highest standards. Edwin assured the ambassador-designate and the delegation that the company is open to collaboration, always striving to maintain the best possible standards.
“Even now, we have a lot of Japanese equipment inside both the refinery and the fertiliser plant. There are significant opportunities for collaboration, as we always seek the latest technology in any business we engage in. For instance, our cement plant laboratory is managed by robots, and we always embrace advanced technology. With Japan’s focus on technological innovation, there is ample scope for cooperation and for supplying various types of technology,” he said.
Edwin also stated that the Dangote Petrochemical project will significantly boost investment in downstream industries, creating substantial value, generating employment, increasing tax revenues, reducing foreign exchange outflows, and contributing to Nigeria’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP).
He confirmed that products from the refinery meet international standards and are already being exported globally.
“In recent weeks, we’ve exported petrol to Cameroon, Ghana, Angola, and South Africa among others. Diesel has gone all over the world, and jet fuel is being heavily exported to European markets. Our products are already making their mark internationally,” he said.
He further added that by leveraging Africa’s vast crude oil resources to produce refined products locally, the Dangote Group aims to create a virtuous cycle of industrial development, job creation, and economic prosperity.
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