Featured
Lavishing Money on Your Kids not Best Way to Show Love – Dele Momodu
Media professional and a one-time presidential candidate, Chief Dele Momodu, talks about what fatherhood has taught him with TOPE OMOGBOLAGUN
What does fatherhood mean to you?
Fatherhood is everything in one. A father is like a pillar in a family and a mother is a foundation because the mother carries the baby in her womb for nine months but after the foundation, there must be pillars to a house. The role of a father is that of pillars, the pillars hold everything else and balance them properly. If you remove the pillars, usually, the building will collapse. The mother is the foundation and the father is the foundation you continue to build on.
The father is permanently kept on his toes. When there is a need for anything, they run to the father of the house and when you are not able to perform that role, you are no longer a father in most cases. That is why you see some fathers work harder than necessary. The children sometimes cannot understand why you are not always at home with them; it is because you always want to continue being a father. Any father, who wants to continue being a father, cannot rest properly. Your mind, body and soul cannot be at rest easily and you must still ensure that you give direct guidance to your children.
What do you enjoy the most about being a father?
I know the pain people go through when they don’t have children. That is the more reason why I appreciate what God has done in my life. I have four big boys who are amazing and very wonderful. I am ‘overblessed’ by Almighty God. I see being called a father as a blessing because it’s God’s undeserved kindness.
Did you ever wish you had a daughter?
I am sure we wanted girls. I would have still been fine if I had only girls. I am too cosmopolitan to worry about whether my children are girls or boys. The most important thing is to have wonderful kids and we are blessed in that aspect. From my first to the last son, they know that there are no billionaires in the family; we are all scholars. If my children want anything from me, they negotiate via education. My biggest investment in life is educating my children by sending them to the best schools anywhere I can find it.
My wife as the foundation has practically sacrificed her life for the children. She is a chartered accountant. She read accounting, earned ACCA and ICAN and yet, she is a full-time mother to five boys because I am her first son.
What were your fears before you became a father?
Of course, the fear of every man after marriage is if the children do not come on time, how do I cope with the pressure? Like in my case, it took us two years before we had our first child. We got married in 1992 and we had our first child in 1994. There was a bit of panic because people are definitely going to put you under pressure and there is even more pressure when you are famous because all eyes are on you. We had one of the most glamorous weddings in 1992. We were even rated by a newspaper firm as one of the top three weddings in Nigeria then. You can imagine the pressure. Everybody who sees your wife looks at her tummy. Along the line, such begins to get to you.
How did you feel when you eventually held your first child?
All my children are born in the same hospital in London. Unfortunately, when my first child was to be born, I could not travel because I was already in trouble over the June 12 crisis and the late Sani Abacha had already taken over. I couldn’t leave the country. We didn’t have telephones in those days like now.
My wife was already in London attending her pre-natal checks at the hospital. But I knew one of Abiola’s wives who was close to me and had a phone in her house, Dr. Doyinsola Abiola. I used to go to her every day to check if I had a message from my wife. My wife would call to tell her the next time she would call. I waited to be able to talk to her. Dr. Abiola was the first to know about the birth of my first son and she broke the news to me. Of course, I was very excited like every other father would on hearing that his wife had given birth.
How old were you when you became a father?
I was 34 in 1994 when I had my first child.
Do you think you married a bit late?
No. I got married at 32 and had my first child at 34. People felt I was getting late but for me, it didn’t matter. It is the women that worry about such. Once a woman crosses 25; in fact, once she finishes university education; the next certificate they are expecting is a baby. Even now, I am 58, I still feel like a young man, though I know I am old.
What are the values you learnt from your father?
I learnt hard work from my biological father and even from my adopted father, the late MKO Abiola. He used to tell us that hard work is prayer in action. My biological father was a workaholic. He worked till the last minute he died. My father’s death taught me to cherish and treasure every moment we spend with people especially our family members. I left my father to go to school in the morning and came back in the evening to find out that he was dead. I was 13 when he died in 1973. His death taught me that every day is precious. I was very close to my father. My father was a very spiritual man. He belonged to the Aladura sect and he didn’t allow women into his bedroom. I was the only boy at home at the time. My elder brother had travelled abroad then.
I slept on the same bed with my father for years. When he died, I was almost hallucinating then because he was everything to me. Nowadays, kids are free, more independent. I always tell my children that they must treasure all the time they spend with me. You won’t know now until I leave this world and the reality is that we will all leave this world.
Having learnt that from my father, I also teach my children to know the value of hard work. I want each of my children to have a PhD. I don’t know if they will all agree but at least, they must have a minimum of master’s degree. I invest a lot in books and education.
How do you inculcate the values you imbibed from your father in your children?
I do that through discussion; it’s not something one can force. I always tell them if we are talking. For example, if they stand to greet me, I tell them to prostrate. I never greeted my father like that. Or if they tell me okay without adding sir or dad to it, I tell them to correct themselves because I never spoke to my father like that. If I send them on an errand and they say things like oh! I am busy, I never said no to my father. You mustn’t say no to me. I always refer to my father as a way of training them that I will not be who I am if I did not obey my father’s instructions.
They need to know that is a chain of reaction, it has a domino effect. My grandfather disciplined my father, my father disciplined me and I must discipline my children, so that they can also discipline their children too.
How do you discipline your children?
They always say that I don’t beat them. I am a bit modern despite my traditional background. I am a democrat. I will say I am a compulsive democrat. I like to do things in a very democratic manner. I like persuasion; I don’t like the use of force. I believe there is nothing force can get that persuasion cannot get. I try to talk to them. If they take it, it’s for their own benefit.
Who is stricter between you and your wife?
My wife is the strict one; she is strict on all of us, including me. She is strict and very prudent while she believes I am very flamboyant. Although I think that is as a result of my closeness to the late Abiola; I served under his tutelage. I got the act of being a kind person from him. I give a lot as long as I know that a person is in need which sometimes could be very problematic. My wife is a chartered accountant from Ijebu, so she is very good at managing money.
How do you celebrate your children when they do well in their studies?
That is one way they get to win me whenever they need anything. For instance, my last son has been calling me that he needs an Apple laptop which is a bit expensive.
He got good grades and was admitted into one of the best schools in England which happens to be his dream school because his brothers also attended the school. For me, I just have to look for the money and buy him the laptop because we had a deal. If I am going to have a bet with them, it has to be about their academics. I tell them, if you get a particular number of distinctions, this is what you will get. If you are admitted into the school, I will give you that. When they keep their part of the agreement, I also endeavour to keep mine.
How do you teach them to value money?
I am very lucky in that aspect with my children maybe because their mother is very frugal and it has rubbed off on them. They will never ask for exorbitant money, except if they need to get a new phone or a laptop. If I give £50 to them, they will manage it well and if I give them £200, they are very grateful. I know children of big people who will ask their parents for £5,000. Such has never happened in my family. I can’t remember any of them even asking £1,000 from me. It is not possible.
Some parents use money to indulge their kids because they are not usually physically around. They believe they can buy the love. You can’t buy love. Giving a child all the money in the world does not mean the child would be happy. In fact, he might be more miserable and become depressed because if you are on drugs, you get depressed. That is one of the issues I will love to talk about if I get the chance. I would love to tell parents that lavishing money on their children is not the best way to show love. A lot of kids know how much their fathers have in their accounts. Some will go to their parents and ask “are we rich?” If any of my children should ask me such, I will tell him flatly, ‘no’ and that is the truth. I don’t have free money.
It is said that male children often bond more with their mothers than their fathers. Do you have the same experience with your four boys?
It is true, but in our case, because they are all males, they have no choice but to also deal with me and because their mother is tough; she doesn’t take nonsense from anybody. I think I will say that about two or three of them are very close to her; they would listen more to her than even to me. You know that someone, who will not beat you or shout at you, you are not likely to be afraid of that person. It is a natural psychological feeling. They are forced to bond with me; that is the way I see it.
Do they discuss their relationships with you?
No, not really because they have been in school most of the time and I have been in Nigeria. The person who can know more about that is their mother because she stays more in England with them. She can know who their friends are. I get to meet some of my first son’s friends once in a while. My second child is an easy-going person. All he does is football and he doesn’t really go out. And because they are four boys, I think they tend to be their own friends. They have formed their own inner circle. They are each other’s friends. If I want to know what is happening to the first one, the last one is like his son.
In fact, I call him daddy. I said that is your son. I’m like a grandpa because there is a gap of 10 years between them. If I want to know what is happening to the first, I call the last born and that one will tell me everything.
Why is there much age difference between the first and last child?
We had the first in 1994. The second child came in 1996, the third in 1997 and the last child in 2004. My wife would always say it was an error but I know it was planned because she was still trying for a girl.
Is any of your children following in your career path?
Yes, my third child, Eniafe Momodu. He loves literature like me. He is already a writer, a speaker, a photographer and also owns a blog.
Culled from The Punch
By Eric Elezuo
If there is one Nigerian, who can tell accurately the heartbeat of the nation, its direction and what the future portends for it, based on the dynamics already at play, that person is Chief Dele Momodu; a seasoned journalist, former presidential candidate, holder of high profile chieftancy titles across the country, and Chief Executive Officer, Ovation Media Group.
As a vocal politician and public speaker, whose voice echoes across the length and breadth of the nation for all the good reasons, Momodu has continued to speak against the cluelessness of the present government and the need for the government to redress its steps in terms of unpopular policies emanating from the cradle, which have rather impoverished the populace rather than do the opposite. He is credited with being the first to notice the government’s unpopular drift towards one-party system, and warned on the dangers. Today, almost all the state governors, national and state assembly members have all decamped to the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC).
Sustaining his credence as a value-adding speaker, Momodu was a guest of the fabulous, experience and adequately exposed Charles Aniagolu of Arise News(Night), where he further highlighted the challenges and remedies of the Nigerian situation.
He also spoke on the appointment of the former Chief of Defence Staff, General Chris Musa (retd) as the Minister of Defence, the withdrawal of Police eacort from very important personalities (VIPs) including the former Vice President Atiku Abubakar and many other issues of national concern.
The text of the interview is presented in details even to the tiniest details below:
Momodu with former Vice President, Atiku Abubakar
Well, for more on this, I’m joined now from our studios in Lagos by the former presidential candidate and publisher of Ovation magazine, Basharu Dele Momodu. Mr. Momodu, thank you very much indeed for coming in. You look like you’re about to cry there. I mean, I know you had a bit of a tough time getting in, and I do apologize to our viewers because we’re quite a few minutes late. But you had a bit of a mishap coming in, and that delayed us a bit.
Dele Momodu: Yes. Well, we thank God that it was something minor. We had an accident on top of the bridge coming into the Arise studios, but we’re okay. Now, you asked if I am off the mark this…
Well, I’m going to get to that in a minute. Sorry to interrupt you – I want to be a bit systematic because we’ve got to gallop ahead, given that we’re, I mean, almost 12 minutes late in starting the program. Let me start by first of all getting your reaction to the confirmation of General Christopher Musa as the new Minister of Defence in the current climate of insecurity that’s gripping this country.
Dele Momodu: Well, I mean, I didn’t expect anything else. I expected that he would be screened — whether bow-and-go or not — he would be screened, and he would be ratified. And he’s been ratified, and I want to congratulate him. That’s all. I pray that we won’t hear sermons this time and that he will just go straight into action.
Yes, we all hope for that, don’t we? And we also got the news this evening that the National Economic Council has approved 100 billion naira for the renovation of training centres for the police and other security agencies across Nigeria. So that suggests that they’re serious about retraining serving police officers and training new ones. Is that the message that you’re getting from it?
Dele Momodu: Well, I would say that 100 billion is too small for the police and the security agencies. The government should do something better if it is serious about the insecurity that is terrorizing everybody in Nigeria. They would need to get serious, invest more in training, involve- I mean, invest in new personnel. The reasons they are saying they are withdrawing police from the streets are just because we don’t have enough of them. But we have enough jobless people in Nigeria, including graduates and non-graduates, who are willing to join the police force and other security agencies. So my advice is that President Tinubu should invest heavily in security. 100 billion to me, especially when you translate it into other currencies, it’s chicken feed.
Well, to be entirely fair, Bashorun, that 100 billion is for the renovation of training centers for the police. It’s not for the whole security recruitment thing. It’s purely to renovate the centres that have been left to kind of, you know, rot across the country, and he’s trying to bring them up to speed and at the same time get on with the recruitment of new police officers and move on with the training of existing ones.
Now, you spoke recently about the ban on police escorts for VIPs. You called it a targeted move against opposition figures like Alhaji Atiku Abubakar, who you support, and who is constitutionally entitled to security protection. You argued that the ban is a calculated move to weaken opposition voices and fuel resentment against successful Nigerians, and that it’ll expose prominent Nigerians to danger. I wonder why you think all that, because public sentiment in Nigeria seems to be in support of President Tinubu’s decision to ban the use of police escorts by VIPs. And it looks like you are the one who is off the mark this time.
Dele Momodu: No, I’m not off the mark. I remember in October 2022, when I foretold the dictatorship that would soon visit Nigeria. I was abused that night — that I’m talking rubbish. You see, I am trained to go behind the scene to find the real stories. A lot of Nigerians get easily, easily fooled. And if you read my press release yesterday, I said it there that we have been fooled again. What they are doing is to set the poor against the rich. And whenever you do that, you will get an applause, you will get an ovation. But the truth is that most people are not thinking about the real motive behind this decision.
If you look at Lagos State, for example, when they had the problem in the House of Assembly, you will see that one of the things they used to intimidate the people was, one, they sent some forces in to disrupt the house. Then they withdrew the police security that was guarding the brother of the new speaker. They withdrew the police from Oba Elegushi. It’s nothing new. So if we start the campaign, let’s say in January — I don’t know when we are starting — tell me, who will risk his life criss-crossing Nigeria without police escort?
We should stop being fooled. You see, the sentiment is that, oh yes, all of us should suffer. There is no country in the world where you don’t have VIPs. And it’s never a crime to be successful. As a matter of fact, those who should lose their security are those politicians in Abuja and not the ordinary man, not a Dangote, not an Abdulsamad. Imagine a time when a kidnapper said he almost got Aliko, if not for his heavy security.
So you will see – I’ve said it again today – when tomorrow comes, and events begin to unfold, you will remember that only one man warned you that this is part of the plot to suffocate the opposition.
Well, I mean, I think that obviously you’re entitled to your opinion, but a lot of people will probably disagree with that because the government didn’t say that they were going to completely leave VIPs naked without protection. They talked about redrafting civil defense people to become protectors. And members of civil defense — they carry guns and very sophisticated weapons at that. And of course, it’s not just directed at the opposition; members of the government and the VIPs are also subject to the same restrictions.
But let’s move on from there because I’m concerned that we lost a lot of time at the beginning. I want to get your response to a lot of things because it’s not every day that we have you sitting there. I don’t know whether you’ve heard this, but it’s being reported tonight that the US government has introduced a new policy which allows it to impose a visa ban on people considered responsible for the attack on Nigerian Christians.
The State Department issued a statement saying the policy allows it to deny visas to those who have directed, authorized, supported, participated in, or carried out abuses targeting people based on faith. And it said that family members of affected people are also subject to the restrictions, and that the US cannot stand by while such atrocities are happening in Nigeria. What’s your reaction to that? Does it sound like all the attempts by the Nigerian government to convince the Americans that there isn’t genocide targeted specifically at Christians have failed?
Dele Momodu: You see, when you have bullies in power, people will also jubilate when a bigger bully comes to bully them. So what’s happening in Nigeria right now is that a lot of people feel hopeless. They feel helpless, and they are excited that there is a bigger bully. The same way you said, “Oh, people are happy that they are withdrawing security from…” is the same way America is bullying us now, and you can see us reacting.
It took us over two years to react, to what? To appoint ambassadors who will represent our country. So I think the game continues, and I can tell you that a lot of Nigerians, especially on social media, are very excited that for once, at least, our leadership is listening to someone, and that’s President Donald Trump. So if that’s what it takes for our country to get serious, maybe that’s what we needed, and that’s what we are getting.
And Mr. Momodu, as you assess the political landscape inside Nigeria using your very blunt and unapologetic assessment indicators, what do you see as we approach 2027? Is it, as some have suggested, a done deal for President Tinubu and the APC, given the many failures of the opposition? Because I see you being quoted as saying that no southern candidate — not even Goodluck Jonathan or Peter Obi — can defeat President Tinubu in 2027.
Dele Momodu: Oh, I’ve been saying that for long. It’s nothing new. nothing is a done deal for President Tinubu. About two months ago, no one expected him to suddenly sit up and respond to America. But now we are responding. So we don’t know what’s going to happen in the coming weeks that may further get them sober.
What we witnessed in the past was the giddiness — “Oh, we are the ones in charge, nothing can happen.” But suddenly we see them reacting to forces from America, which is unfortunate because to govern Nigeria is not too difficult. Nigerians — we’re the most tolerant human beings; otherwise, we wouldn’t be where we are now. We tolerate everything.
And I know that 2027 is not yet a done deal. But the opposition must get its act together. I’ve said it before on this programme that actions and reactions are always equal and opposite, according to Isaac Newton. So that’s my scientific analysis of what is going to happen.
Any southerner who goes into the race now – an average southerner will say, “After all, we already have Tinubu there, so why are we worrying ourselves?” So, the force that we need to energize the opposition, I believe it will not be there. There are three key things when it comes to presidential elections. Number one is ethnicity — where the candidate comes from. No northerner is going to come and die to come and defend a southern candidate if, let’s say, for example, he’s rigged out of the election. But when you have your own candidate, it’s more than likely that you will be more enthused to vote for that candidate.
And that is why I said, look, don’t let us waste our time. And I’ve said it — you know me, I’ve said it — I said the only person this government is afraid of is Atiku Abubakar. I will continue to say it. And since Atiku and Peter Obi ran together in 2019, I supported them then, and I was not a member of PDP. So it should be easier for them to come back together.
We have less than one year to prepare for that election. While Tinubu is already campaigning, cajoling, and, you know, coercing whoever he can, we are still busy thinking who is going to be our candidate. I think we are wasting too much time. Now is the time to do what is necessary.
And just following up on that, you recently described Peter Obi’s candidacy as independent because, according to you, he doesn’t have a party and has shown unwillingness to build and work with the ADC. But I mean, many of his supporters disagree with you and say that he is still a member of the Labour Party for now, and that the party has been making behind-the-scenes moves towards reconciliation and could well pull a rabbit out of a hat in 2027. What’s your assessment of that?
Dele Momodu: Now you have gone in the realm of magic. I am not a magician and I don’t see any magic that would awaken Labour Party or PDP and that APC will fold its arms and allow such a platform for Obi. I mean, the truth of the matter is that, you know, he’s a man I respect so much. If you look at it right now, I believe he’s party-less, like most of our opposition leaders.
He has not yet made up his mind, and he joined the ADC last week. So anybody who wants to run a year to election and you have not yet made up your mind, I think it’s proving more difficult. that’s why I said an independent candidate. But he has not said that he’s opposed to ADC, so we need to correct that. He has not said that he’s opposed. What I think he’s opposed to is maybe having to go through a convention — a primary — and ADC said everybody should come to the primary: if you win, you win, then others will support.
But I think it’s going to be difficult for any party to donate a ticket — especially any formidable party — at this stage, to donate a ticket to any candidate. I don’t even think Atiku can get an automatic ticket in ADC; he will have to fight for it. So let them — I mean, you have Roti… one of the most experienced politicians in the history of Nigeria. So they are all there; let them go and fight for it. And that is what a true democrat should do.
The only person who will get an automatic ticket, and already has, is President Tinubu. So for anybody to be shopping for a ticket at this stage, I think we need to get very serious. I’m being brutally frank.
Indeed, and that’s what we like about you – your brutal frankness. And in that regard, let’s talk a little bit about you as a prominent media personality. I mean, do you see your role as a commentator as influencing government policy or shaping public opinion?
Dele Momodu: Well, for me, I am like a prophet. I was born in an Aladura church, and I was named Joseph. I dream a lot. I see visions. And most of my predictions about Nigeria have come to pass, even after people have abused me.
They used to tell me, “Oh, you like supporting losers.” But now they can see that I support common sense. It does not matter whether you are going to win or you are not going to win. That’s the role God has chosen for me, and I have gladly accepted it.
So those who want quick fixes or quick, you know, appointments, of course, would always join the ruling party. When I supported Buhari the other time, I never went there to do anything. They invited me; I told them my piece of mind. So it tells you that I’m not desperate for anything.
For me as a person, I will continue to influence the younger ones. Everywhere I go – and I travel virtually every week – the young people come to me, even on flights, and say, “Thank you for speaking up.” A lot of people don’t speak up. That is why we believe Nigeria is populated by bad people. There are a lot of good people who are voiceless. And so they are looking for someone to just tell them where to go.
And I am happy that most things that I have said have come. I predicted that there would be a dictatorship, and that one didn’t take much. So as a prophet, I’m enjoying it.
Well, we like having you, and thank you very much indeed for taking the time to talk to us. And thank you for being there tonight. And also, I hope everything goes well because I know you had a bit of a mishap getting into the studio.
Dele Momodu — Basharun Dele Momodu — is a former presidential candidate and publisher of Ovation magazine. He was talking to me from our studios in Lagos.
Featured
Book of Infamy: Umo Eno, Umar Bago, Egbetokun Listed Among Media Unfriendly Public Officers
Open Letter to Global Leadership: Forging New Intergenerational Partnership for Sustainable Governance
Meet Muhammad Ashfaq Hussain, CEO at Profound Realtors
How Dr. Fatima Ibrahim Hamza (PT, mNSP) Became Kano’s Healthcare Star and a Model for African Women in Leadership
Era of Nationwide Fuel Queues Has Come to An End, Says Dangote
The Oracle: When a Nation Undermines Citizens’ Rights (Pt. 4)
Friday Sermon: Pride and the Pitfalls of Arrogance
Atiku Abubakar Remains Only Person Tinubu Govt is Afraid Of – Dele Momodu (Full Interview)
Kidnapped Kwara Monarch, Six Others Escape from Bandits’ Custody Amid Vigilante Onslaught
Alex Otti Pays Solidarity Visit to Nnamdi Kanu in Sokoto Prison
After Weeks of Incarceration, Cameroon Opposition Leader Dies in Detention
Globacom-Sponsored African Voices Changemakers Features BBN Host, Ebuka Obi-Uchendu
Just In: Defence Minister Abubakar Badaru, Resigns, Tinubu Accepts
US Lawmakers Meet Today over Reported Christian Genocide
US Moves to Impose Visa Restrictions on Sponsors, Supporters of Violence in Nigeria
-
News5 days agoKidnapped Kwara Monarch, Six Others Escape from Bandits’ Custody Amid Vigilante Onslaught
-
Featured5 days agoAlex Otti Pays Solidarity Visit to Nnamdi Kanu in Sokoto Prison
-
Featured5 days agoAfter Weeks of Incarceration, Cameroon Opposition Leader Dies in Detention
-
Entertainment6 days agoGlobacom-Sponsored African Voices Changemakers Features BBN Host, Ebuka Obi-Uchendu
-
News5 days agoJust In: Defence Minister Abubakar Badaru, Resigns, Tinubu Accepts
-
USA4 days agoUS Lawmakers Meet Today over Reported Christian Genocide
-
World3 days agoUS Moves to Impose Visa Restrictions on Sponsors, Supporters of Violence in Nigeria
-
National4 days agoTinubu Names Immediate Past CDS Chris Musa As New Defence Minister