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Lavishing Money on Your Kids not Best Way to Show Love – Dele Momodu

Published

8 years ago

June 24, 2018

Eric

Media professional and a one-time presidential candidate, Chief Dele Momodu, talks about what fatherhood has taught him with TOPE OMOGBOLAGUN

What does fatherhood mean to you?

Fatherhood is everything in one. A father is like a pillar in a family and a mother is a foundation because the mother carries the baby in her womb for nine months but after the foundation, there must be pillars to a house. The role of a father is that of pillars, the pillars hold everything else and balance them properly. If you remove the pillars, usually, the building will collapse. The mother is the foundation and the father is the foundation you continue to build on.

The father is permanently kept on his toes. When there is a need for anything, they run to the father of the house and when you are not able to perform that role, you are no longer a father in most cases. That is why you see some fathers work harder than necessary. The children sometimes cannot understand why you are not always at home with them; it is because you always want to continue being a father. Any father, who wants to continue being a father, cannot rest properly. Your mind, body and soul cannot be at rest easily and you must still ensure that you give direct guidance to your children.

What do you enjoy the most about being a father?

I know the pain people go through when they don’t have children. That is the more reason why I appreciate what God has done in my life. I have four big boys who are amazing and very wonderful. I am ‘overblessed’ by Almighty God. I see being called a father as a blessing because it’s God’s undeserved kindness.

Did you ever wish you had a daughter?

I am sure we wanted girls. I would have still been fine if I had only girls. I am too cosmopolitan to worry about whether my children are girls or boys. The most important thing is to have wonderful kids and we are blessed in that aspect. From my first to the last son, they know that there are no billionaires in the family; we are all scholars. If my children want anything from me, they negotiate via education. My biggest investment in life is educating my children by sending them to the best schools anywhere I can find it.

My wife as the foundation has practically sacrificed her life for the children. She is a chartered accountant. She read accounting, earned ACCA and ICAN and yet, she is a full-time mother to five boys because I am her first son.

What were your fears before you became a father?

Of course, the fear of every man after marriage is if the children do not come on time, how do I cope with the pressure? Like in my case, it took us two years before we had our first child. We got married in 1992 and we had our first child in 1994. There was a bit of panic because people are definitely going to put you under pressure and there is even more pressure when you are famous because all eyes are on you. We had one of the most glamorous weddings in 1992. We were even rated by a newspaper firm as one of the top three weddings in Nigeria then. You can imagine the pressure. Everybody who sees your wife looks at her tummy. Along the line, such begins to get to you.

How did you feel when you eventually held your first child?

All my children are born in the same hospital in London. Unfortunately, when my first child was to be born, I could not travel because I was already in trouble over the June 12 crisis and the late Sani Abacha had already taken over. I couldn’t leave the country. We didn’t have telephones in those days like now.

My wife was already in London attending her pre-natal checks at the hospital. But I knew one of Abiola’s wives who was close to me and had a phone in her house, Dr. Doyinsola Abiola. I used to go to her every day to check if I had a message from my wife. My wife would call to tell her the next time she would call. I waited to be able to talk to her. Dr. Abiola was the first to know about the birth of my first son and she broke the news to me. Of course, I was very excited like every other father would on hearing that his wife had given birth.

How old were you when you became a father?

I was 34 in 1994 when I had my first child.

Do you think you married a bit late?

No. I got married at 32 and had my first child at 34. People felt I was getting late but for me, it didn’t matter. It is the women that worry about such. Once a woman crosses 25; in fact, once she finishes university education; the next certificate they are expecting is a baby. Even now, I am 58, I still feel like a young man, though I know I am old.

What are the values you learnt from your father?

I learnt hard work from my biological father and even from my adopted father, the late MKO Abiola. He used to tell us that hard work is prayer in action. My biological father was a workaholic. He worked till the last minute he died. My father’s death taught me to cherish and treasure every moment we spend with people especially our family members. I left my father to go to school in the morning and came back in the evening to find out that he was dead. I was 13 when he died in 1973. His death taught me that every day is precious. I was very close to my father. My father was a very spiritual man. He belonged to the Aladura sect and he didn’t allow women into his bedroom. I was the only boy at home at the time. My elder brother had travelled abroad then.

I slept on the same bed with my father for years. When he died, I was almost hallucinating then because he was everything to me. Nowadays, kids are free, more independent. I always tell my children that they must treasure all the time they spend with me. You won’t know now until I leave this world and the reality is that we will all leave this world.

Having learnt that from my father, I also teach my children to know the value of hard work. I want each of my children to have a PhD. I don’t know if they will all agree but at least, they must have a minimum of master’s degree. I invest a lot in books and education.

How do you inculcate the values you imbibed from your father in your children?

I do that through discussion; it’s not something one can force. I always tell them if we are talking. For example, if they stand to greet me, I tell them to prostrate. I never greeted my father like that. Or if they tell me okay without adding sir or dad to it, I tell them to correct themselves because I never spoke to my father like that. If I send them on an errand and they say things like oh! I am busy, I never said no to my father. You mustn’t say no to me. I always refer to my father as a way of training them that I will not be who I am if I did not obey my father’s instructions.

They need to know that is a chain of reaction, it has a domino effect. My grandfather disciplined my father, my father disciplined me and I must discipline my children, so that they can also discipline their children too.

How do you discipline your children?

They always say that I don’t beat them. I am a bit modern despite my traditional background. I am a democrat. I will say I am a compulsive democrat. I like to do things in a very democratic manner. I like persuasion; I don’t like the use of force. I believe there is nothing force can get that persuasion cannot get. I try to talk to them. If they take it, it’s for their own benefit.

Who is stricter between you and your wife?

My wife is the strict one; she is strict on all of us, including me. She is strict and very prudent while she believes I am very flamboyant. Although I think that is as a result of my closeness to the late Abiola; I served under his tutelage. I got the act of being a kind person from him. I give a lot as long as I know that a person is in need which sometimes could be very problematic. My wife is a chartered accountant from Ijebu, so she is very good at managing money.

How do you celebrate your children when they do well in their studies?

That is one way they get to win me whenever they need anything. For instance, my last son has been calling me that he needs an Apple laptop which is a bit expensive.

He got good grades and was admitted into one of the best schools in England which happens to be his dream school because his brothers also attended the school. For me, I just have to look for the money and buy him the laptop because we had a deal. If I am going to have a bet with them, it has to be about their academics. I tell them, if you get a particular number of distinctions, this is what you will get. If you are admitted into the school, I will give you that. When they keep their part of the agreement, I also endeavour to keep mine.

How do you teach them to value money?

I am very lucky in that aspect with my children maybe because their mother is very frugal and it has rubbed off on them. They will never ask for exorbitant money, except if they need to get a new phone or a laptop. If I give £50 to them, they will manage it well and if I give them £200, they are very grateful. I know children of big people who will ask their parents for £5,000. Such has never happened in my family. I can’t remember any of them even asking £1,000 from me. It is not possible.

Some parents use money to indulge their kids because they are not usually physically around. They believe they can buy the love. You can’t buy love. Giving a child all the money in the world does not mean the child would be happy. In fact, he might be more miserable and become depressed because if you are on drugs, you get depressed. That is one of the issues I will love to talk about if I get the chance. I would love to tell parents that lavishing money on their children is not the best way to show love. A lot of kids know how much their fathers have in their accounts. Some will go to their parents and ask “are we rich?” If any of my children should ask me such, I will tell him flatly, ‘no’ and that is the truth. I don’t have free money.

It is said that male children often bond more with their mothers than their fathers. Do you have the same experience with your four boys?

It is true, but in our case, because they are all males, they have no choice but to also deal with me and because their mother is tough; she doesn’t take nonsense from anybody. I think I will say that about two or three of them are very close to her; they would listen more to her than even to me. You know that someone, who will not beat you or shout at you, you are not likely to be afraid of that person. It is a natural psychological feeling. They are forced to bond with me; that is the way I see it.

Do they discuss their relationships with you?

No, not really because they have been in school most of the time and I have been in Nigeria. The person who can know more about that is their mother because she stays more in England with them. She can know who their friends are. I get to meet some of my first son’s friends once in a while. My second child is an easy-going person. All he does is football and he doesn’t really go out. And because they are four boys, I think they tend to be their own friends. They have formed their own inner circle. They are each other’s friends. If I want to know what is happening to the first one, the last one is like his son.

In fact, I call him daddy. I said that is your son. I’m like a grandpa because there is a gap of 10 years between them. If I want to know what is happening to the first, I call the last born and that one will tell me everything.

Why is there much age difference between the first and last child?

We had the first in 1994. The second child came in 1996, the third in 1997 and the last child in 2004. My wife would always say it was an error but I know it was planned because she was still trying for a girl.

Is any of your children following in your career path?

Yes, my third child, Eniafe Momodu. He loves literature like me. He is already a writer, a speaker, a photographer and also owns a blog.

Culled from The Punch

Featured

UBA Business Series Celebrates The Evolved Woman’s Leadership, Enterprise

Published

11 hours ago

March 13, 2026

Eric

Africa’s Global Bank, United Bank for Africa (UBA) Plc, on Thursday, hosted a captivating edition of its quarterly Business Series, bringing together accomplished female leaders and entrepreneurs to discuss the theme “Gen.W: The Evolved Woman.”

The hybrid session which was held at the UBA House in Marina Lagos and also transmitted live to participants across the globe, is part of activities to mark the International Women’s Month and focused on the evolving role of women in leadership, business, and innovation, highlighting how African women are redefining success while also creating sustainable impact across their various spheres of operation.

UBA’s Group Head, Customer Experience, Michelle Nwoga, who gave the opening remarks at the event, explained that the evolved woman is one who is taking charge, volunteering and making their voice heard above the noise.

The event was moderated by popular media personality and actor, Tobi Bakre; who said, “When I think about the evolved woman, I personally do not see a checklist or a finish point. In my own opinion, it is a woman who is grounded in her own self-worth and gives room for other women to be grounded in theirs, choosing herself daily and ultimately letting other women around her know and believe that they belong here too.”

The event featured panel conversations with leading entrepreneur and founder of ORÍKÌ Group, Joycee Awosika; celebrated media personality and digital entrepreneur Tomike Adeoye; founder of Fine-Funky, Olufunke Davies, and award-winning broadcaster, Ayo Mario-Ese who shared experiences around their struggles and eventual evolution as female business owners.

From her point of view, Joycee Awosika, an energy economist who has been focused on promoting the African heritage, the evolved woman is one who has awareness of who she is. “That woman does not need to ask to sit at the table, she is creating her own table and adding value. As your company is growing, you must grow too, and always do an audit of where you need to become a better leader” she stated.

To Tomike Adeoye, the question of what a woman is bringing to the table has now become obsolete, as the evolved woman is now bringing their own table. “She is now more vocal about their struggles, setting the standards and she is not ready to give up on her dreams,” she added.

Ayo Mario-Ese expressed worry about females who are usually laidback about speaking up and sharing their achievements, and said that women need to own their own stories: “A lot of women are doing phenomenal work and are sometimes afraid of showcasing what they are doing. As an evolved woman, you have to find out what you are comfortable doing, and create your own unique offering, and also be open to collaboration.”

“Creating unique designs that are affordable remains my driving force and something that has helped me grow as an evolved woman,” remarked Olufunke Davies, who confessed to having ventured into a lot of businesses before finding her niche. “It is important to do your research, streamline and think about relatability. But the important thing I will say is start where you are as it is a progression.”

The Group Head, Brand, Marketing and Corporate Communications, Alero Ladipo, who commended the panellists and the attendees for taking their time to join the event said, “Raising each woman up is actually not that hard; because, everyone has their community as well as their story; and so as women, we need to take position so that you can give to others.”

Ladipo took time to speak about the Gen W platform, put together by the bank, as she explained that it is a lifestyle platform dedicated to the evolved woman, adding, “Through expert insights, real stories, and practical resources, the platform connects women who are building brands, creating businesses, growing careers, and leading across industries. They also have access to a plethora of discounted products and loans. The best part: it is open to every woman. No UBA account needed. This is Gen W, for the evolved woman,” she said.

UBA continues to reaffirm its commitment to empowering women and entrepreneurs through platforms such as the Business Series, which continues to serve as a hub for mentorship, knowledge exchange, and thought leadership. By convening influential voices and sharing practical experiences, the bank aims to inspire a new generation of women leaders and innovators across Africa and beyond.

Featured

Court Bars Aiyedatiwa from Contesting 2028 Guber Election

Published

1 day ago

March 12, 2026

Eric

The Federal High Court sitting in Akure, Ondo State, on Thursday ruled that Governor Lucky Aiyedatiwa of Ondo State cannot contest the 2028 governorship election, holding that doing so would violate the constitutional limit of eight years in office.

Delivering judgement, Justice Adegoke held that Aiyedatiwa, who first assumed office on 27 December 2023 following the death of former Governor Rotimi Akeredolu, and was later sworn in again on 24 February 2025 after winning the 16 November 2024 governorship election, cannot seek another term in 2028.

The court ruled that the 1999 Constitution (as amended) does not permit a president or governor to remain in office for more than eight years, relying on the Supreme Court’s decision in Marwa v. Nyako to support its position.

Justice Adegoke further held that the suit was neither speculative nor academic, stressing that the court has the inherent authority to interpret provisions of the Constitution and ensure strict compliance with them.

The case was filed by a member of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Dr Akin Egbuwalo, through his counsel, Chief Adeniyi Akintola (SAN), seeking interpretation of Section 137(3) of the 1999 Constitution as it relates to Aiyedatiwa’s tenure.

The section, along with Section 182(3), provides that a person sworn in to complete the term of another elected official can only contest and serve one additional term.

Egbuwalo argued that since Aiyedatiwa had taken two oaths of office—first as successor to the late Governor Akeredolu and later as an elected governor—the Constitution limits him to only one additional term.

Those listed as defendants in the suit include the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), the Attorney-General of the Federation and Minister of Justice, Governor Aiyedatiwa, the APC, and the Deputy Governor, Dr. Olayide Adelami.

Justice Adegoke noted in her ruling that the third to fifth defendants failed to participate in the hearing of the case, and their processes were therefore deemed abandoned.

The court held that, “If the third defendant is allowed to contest and serve another four years, that will be against the position of the law in Marwa v. Nyako, where the Supreme Court held that a president or governor cannot serve beyond eight years.”

Consequently, the court considered only the submissions of the plaintiff and the first and second defendants.

She concluded that allowing Aiyedatiwa to contest again and potentially serve another four years would contradict the Supreme Court’s position that no president or governor can remain in office for more than eight years.

The court subsequently upheld the arguments of the plaintiff and granted all the reliefs sought in the suit.

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Gumi: Timi Frank Urges Trump to Halt Security Cooperation with Nigeria

Published

2 days ago

March 11, 2026

Eric

A political activist and former Deputy National Publicity Secretary of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Comrade Timi Frank, on Wednesday, urged the United States government and President Donald Trump to halt intelligence sharing and security cooperation with the Nigerian government, citing recent comments attributed to Islamic cleric Sheikh Ahmad Gumi on banditry and terrorism.

Frank, who is the ULMWP Ambassador (East Africa and Middle East), made the call in a statement issued in Abuja, saying the remarks credited to Gumi suggesting that Nigerian authorities may know the identities and locations of bandits raise serious questions about the handling of insecurity in the country.

“If it is true that the government knows the names of these bandits, knows where they are located and even knows their camps, then Nigerians deserve to know why decisive action has not been taken,” he said.

He argued that the continued rise in kidnappings and killings across the country suggests that insecurity has escalated despite claims that security agencies possess intelligence about those responsible.

According to him, the continued deterioration of security despite international support raises suspicion that insecurity may be benefiting some individuals, alleging that insecurity in the country has become a “profitable business” for some actors within the system.

“Kidnappings have increased. Killings have escalated. Insecurity has worsened across the country. If a government truly knows the identities and locations of terrorists and bandits yet fails to act decisively, then that raises serious concerns,” he said.

He added: “They want the insecurity to persist because as long as insecurity continues in the country, it’s an opportunity for them to rig the 2027 general elections in Nigeria.

“They don’t care about Nigerians that are dying. They don’t care about Nigerians that are being kidnapped. They don’t care about the well-being of the people. They don’t care about the suffering of the people. They don’t care about good governance. All they care about is how they will rig themselves back to power using insecurity as cover.”

He urged the United States to exercise caution in its dealings with the administration of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, particularly in the area of intelligence while asserting that “the government of today appears to be friends with terrorists.”

“I am calling on the United States government to be very careful in its dealings with the current Nigerian administration. The U.S. should suspend intelligence sharing and security cooperation with the Nigerian government and its security chiefs,” he said.

The activist alleged that despite the security assistance Nigeria has received from international partners, the situation on the ground has continued to deteriorate.

“There appears to be a pattern where the government continues to receive security assistance and aid from the United States and other international partners, yet insecurity keeps worsening,” he said.

He said Nigerian soldiers were still losing their lives in the fight against insurgency and banditry despite military equipment and support provided by foreign partners.

“Today, Nigerian soldiers are dying in large numbers despite the equipment and support provided by the United States and other countries. With the level of support Nigeria has received, the war against insecurity should have made significant progress,” he said.

The activist called on President Trump to take decisive steps against terrorist groups operating in Nigeria and act independently if necessary.

“We are appealing directly to President Donald Trump to take a strong and decisive stand. If the United States truly wants to help Nigeria defeat terrorism and make the country great again, it should be prepared to act firmly against the terrorists responsible for the violence,” he said.

He added that such actions should not depend solely on cooperation with Nigerian authorities.

“The United States should be ready to take bold steps in confronting terrorist networks threatening Nigeria, even if it means acting independently like it did on Christmas eve against those responsible for the violence,” he said.

Frank who currently serves as the United Liberation Movement for West Papua (ULMWP) Ambassador to East Africa and the Middle East as well as Senior Advisor to the Global Friendship City Association (GFCA), USA, also called on the United States Congress to pay closer attention to developments in Nigeria and support measures that would address insecurity and strengthen democratic processes.

He further urged the United States to support credible democratic processes in Nigeria, noting that free and fair elections would help strengthen governance and stability.

According to him, decisive international engagement could help address the security challenges facing the country and support efforts to restore stability.

“If the United States truly wants to assist Nigeria, it should help ensure peace, security and credible democratic processes. That is how Nigeria can move forward and become stable and prosperous again,” he said.

He added that strong international support could help Nigeria overcome insecurity and rebuild confidence in governance.

“With the right actions and international support, Nigeria can defeat terrorism, restore stability and move toward a future where the country can truly become great again,” he said.