Dear Destiny Friends,

Did you know confidence is a currency? Confidence is not about one’s strength, but about one’s ability, capacity, capability and competence. When someone is confident, it can be felt. One doesn’t have to say much because their work will speak for them.

Confidence works in all fields of life. A man who wants to talk to a lady must have a level of confidence; a prospective employee must have confidence to pass his examination, and a public speaker must have a decent amount of confidence to speak.

In the legal world, a Latin maxim suggests, “Res Ipsa Loquitur,” meaning that the fact speaks for itself. For the sake of clarity, the maxim means that one doesn’t have to provide much explanation to prove a point in the court of law. For instance, white is white and black is black. So, when one is confident about their work, they don’t need to speak too much about because the work will speak for itself.

To further understand how confidence works, consider Walter Payton’s exposition on knowing the difference between Good and Great; “when you are good at something, you tell everyone, when you’re great at something, they’ll tell you. Isn’t it true that noise is loud while creation is silent? Sometimes, I do wonder why people have the urge to boast about their achievements as opposed to allowing other people to sing their praises. Please, don’t misunderstand me, it’s good to speak about oneself in addition to having high self-esteem; however, the balance is having moderation.

Confidence always stays in the family of humility; they are opposed to pride and arrogance, and those who always feel entitled and sarcastic. Most great leaders who know their worth are humble and charitable in their relationship with those who are inferior, as against arrogant leaders.

Confidence works in different ways.

Whether you are preparing for an examination, a career promotion, soccer, or an athletic competition, you need confidence, because that’s what will set you apart from your contemporaries. That’s why it’s always and generally good to prepare before you begin any major task; failure to do this can lead to disaster because failing to prepare is preparing to fail.

Imagine being called upon to speak or lead an organization; if you don’t do your homework diligently, you are setting yourself up for failure. Contrast the case to a scenario where you could meet President Trump, Elon Musk, or even your idol who has inspired you to become great, and you came prepared with your questions.

Trust me, at the end of the time, if my thinking is right, you might not remain the same again because a lot of mental transformation may have taken place. As a matter of fact, lots of opportunities might open for you to explore simply because you made yourself available and have the confidence to speak up.

Inasmuch as it is generally good for one to prepare, in some cases, one just has to swim inside the oceans because there’s little or no time for preparation. This is an exception to the general rule of life which advocates preparation. I can relate to this rule because I was a victim.

I can vividly remember when I arrived the United States of America and joined the Nigerian Lawyers Association as a graduate student. During the election, I picked up the form for Public Relations Officer; no one contested for the position, so I won unopposed. The interesting thing about this position was that I wasn’t prepared to assume the position; I felt it was like one of those organizations I could handle like I did while in Nigeria. However, one thing is certain: I had subtle confidence in my ability even though I knew the journey would be challenging. The result and experience were totally different.

Confidence doesn’t come easily; it has to be nurtured with preparation, just like gold has to go through fire in the furnace to become refined.

In conclusion, I would like to ask you, what gives you strength, what makes you happy, and what do you do with relative ease? When you figure it out, please focus on it and build it. By the time you are done, you will be amazed at what you have accomplished by applying confidence to your personality.

In conclusion, as your journey in life, please note that foundations are critical in life. They can either mar or make you. So, please pay attention to the foundation you are laying down because at the end of the day, the way you make your bed is the way you will lie on it.

Dear Destiny Friends,

Cross is a word that means several things to several people. For Christians, apart from serving as symbol of their faith, it refers to the agony Jesus Christ had to experience for the salvation of mankind. For a married couple, it refers to their partner’s excesses. For a grown man, it means the various endeavours required to provide for the family. For the woman, it can mean carrying a child for nine months, while for parents, it can be training and providing for their children, and for business people, it means developing, investing and growing their businesses. For employees on the other hand, it means doing the needful for the collective growth of the firm. On a general note, cross can refer to the burden or process one has to bear or undergo to be successful.

What therefore, is your cross? Yes, there’s no human being on earth without a cross. The crosses we carry however, vary. Cross is like pain. We all experience it differently. Just like it’s usually said in some social parlance, one man’s meat is another’s poison. Someone’s pain might be someone’s gain, and what might appear heavy for someone might be fun for another.

We can easily juxtapose the case of a wealthy man without a child with a poor man with children. They want what the other doesn’t have.  Another scenario is where someone with enough wealth, but the children are not responsive to tutelage. Now contrast that to a case where someone might have just one or two children who are very responsible, but does not have money to support their needs and training.

Another scenario is where a student might have money, but lacks understanding to pass a subject unlike another student who might be poor, but he’s extremely intelligent. I can go on and on, but as a sage would say, a word is enough for the wise.

In the journey of life, everyone carries a cross at a particular point in time. This cross appears in various stages. The newly born child must undergo the process of crawling, walking and running. At each stage, the child carried a cross. In the same way, when the child is two years, the interest of the child changes. And it is when he becomes four years, six years, eight years, 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, 25 years, 30 years, 35 years, 40 years 50 years and 60 years, and continues to change as the years add. A closer look will explain that the child will definitely carry a cross at each stage of their life until they leave this world. The cross never ends, it just changes.

The same principle is applicable to relationships. During dating or courtship, the way partners relate is quite different from when they are married. When they are married, their love language hits different, and when the kids begin to come in, it’s a different story. When their marriage hits five, 10, 15, 20, and 30 years, it’s a different ball game entirely. The interesting thing here is that, what ordinarily might not be a problem during their first three years might threaten their marriage in five or ten years because the cross they carry has shifted.

Everyone has a cross irrespective if the profession or leaning. I call this cross “secret frustration”. What makes the ultimate difference is how we manage the pain or frustration. If the pain, challenge or cross is properly managed, one will not appear burnt, however, if the pain takes a toil on you, one will pay the price and if not properly managed it can have an adverse repercussion.

Furthermore, carrying one’s cross involves carrying one’s responsibility and vision. Nobody will carry it for you. Imagine, having a vision and giving it to someone else, nobody will carry your vision for you, neither will anyone do the work for you.

In my personal experience in life, I have always searched for men who can pour into me whether financially, academically, mentally, spiritually and health-wise. One may wonder what I gained during the period, I was disappointed on several occasions. It was the moment I realized my life and success was entirely in my hands, I became intentional in carrying my cross and results began to trickle in. The moral of my experience is that nobody will save you, you must save yourself. The best anybody can do is to assist you to save you.

One of the surprising things I have discovered when people carry their crosses is that others appear to be spectators; they observe with reservation to see how life will unfold for you. By the time one succeeds, these observers appear like flies to grab their own share of largesse they didn’t invest in. Suddenly, they become entitled to your hard-earned money and opportunities which they didn’t contribute to making. As one of my mentors will say, you are allowed to do the work, but you are not permitted to eat alone. These sets of ignorant minds fail to understand the importance of taking risks, sacrificing and building strategic relationships. These are the strong pillars which separate an ordinary mind from an extraordinary man.

The moral of this analysis is that the extra-ordinary man was intentional in carrying his cross by taking strategic risks, experiencing failures and building and investing in strategic relationships which culminated to their success, but the ordinary man was merely concerned in staying in their comfort zones.

It’s instructive to note that it’s not easy for anyone; everyone is dealing with something. Sometimes, people make foolish mistakes and take poor decisions which cause them a fortune and they expect someone who they consider as a Lamb of God to take away their sins, but life doesn’t work that way. If you ask someone for assistance and they say they can’t afford it, please don’t be mad, because if you can, you wouldn’t ask them.

In conclusion, I don’t know what your situation is, but I’m here to tell you, your cross is valid, and your cross will not only design your destiny, but it will unleash your destiny which will ultimately set you apart. So, don’t be hard on yourself when you are carrying your cross, it’s part of life’s journey and process to fashion and unleash you to the world.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Did you know that life is full of different currencies? Yes, just like different countries have their unique currencies, different human beings, governments, schools, organizations and institutions have unique currencies that not only work for them, but also set them apart from others. Anyone with the intent to work with any of them therefore, must be prepared to present their currency, and speak in the language they understand.

Currencies in this context are not limited to medium of exchange as in money, but includes every gesture and body language that propel acknowledgement, connectivity and acceptance when in deals with another party.

Let’s take a case study of the United States of America; their trading currency is dollars,  and some of the characteristics that made them unique are:

Core Values and Freedoms: The U.S. is built on principles of individual rights, religious freedom, and limited government, enshrined in the Constitution.

The “American Dream“: Is a pervasive culture of opportunity that allows for upward mobility and the ability to pursue personal success regardless of background.

Innovation and Entrepreneurship: A leading global hub for technology, invention, and business, from Silicon Valley to space exploration.

Diversity and Inclusion: A “melting pot” that blends cultures, ideas, and people from around the world into a unique national identity.

All these are currencies that make the United States the greatest country on earth. If any progressive mind can tap into any of these principles, they stand a greater chance of succeeding in America if they work hard and play by the rules.

The same principle is applicable in any country, government school, organization and institution. Every school, institution, organization and human being have core values and principles which can be likened to currencies. It is these core values that make them unique.

When the word currency is mentioned, it’s easy for one to think of money, but currency does not relate only to money. There are many qualities that one may have that’s more than money. For instance, good health, values, character, and principles are some qualities money can’t buy. It’s only small minds who think highly of money.

As a matter of fact, there are individuals who can sell their soul for money. These sets of people don’t really have conscience because they are merely concerned about themselves. They might have the mindset of use what you must get what you don’t have. When you contrast such a mindset with people with values, you will discover that the difference is clear, because these great minds are big on legacy. They stand for the right ideology even if it means for them to stand alone. This is the kind of currency I am talking about.

Some of the social currencies that uninformed minds are not aware of are knowledge, good health, God, relationship, access, internet, and skill. These are powerful currencies resourceful people use to thrive globally. Some might have money, but that same money can’t get access to certain groups of people, while some people might not have money, but they have access to certain people and if they successfully use their “currency” they can use it as an exchange of value to get money from rich people.

The same principle is applicable in relationships. As a matter of fact, I strongly feel apart from God, the strongest currency one can have is relationship. One might have education with good grades, money, and social currency, but lack how to establish and nurture a good relationship with people.

In social networking, the maxim is who do you know? But in advanced networking, the rule has changed to who knows you because you might know President Trump or Elon Musk, but do they know you? Do you know that who you know might open the door for you, but who knows you will give you a seat at the table. That’s the hallmark of a relationship.  According to Robin Sharma “The business of business is relationships; but the business of life the business of life is human connection”.

The internet is also a social currency. The internet is called the fifth estate for a reason. In this 21^st century, the internet has made us understand that the world is a global village. You can literally connect with anyone via social media. It’s sad to see people on social media but find it difficult to use it to advance their cause and careers in addition to connecting with the right people.

In all honesty, I am a big fan of social media because it has enabled me to connect with great people all over the world. I use my social media pages as a platform to share what I do and I have been privileged to connect with some great people. Like, I always say, why be local when you can be global?

Let’s analyze the four main currencies: Time, Energy, Attention and Money. (TEAM)

Time: Your most finite resource; it cannot be earned back, so how you spend your hours defines your life

Energy: The driving force for action, encompassing physical, mental, and emotional fuel for creativity and resilience

Attention: Where you focus your mind, determines what grows and flourishes in your life amidst distractions.

Money: A tangible means of exchange for goods, services, and opportunities, but its value depends on how it serves your goals.

In conclusion, just like everyone is unique and blessed with several gifts/talents, we are blessed with one form of currency which we can use to attract people into our life. So, quit looking outside and start looking inside. When you figure your currency, you’ll not only be attractive, you’ll become one of the most highly sought after person when you have developed your talent. So, I will conclude by asking you, what currency do you have?

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com