Adding Value
Adding Value: Dealing with Defective Success by Henry Ukazu
Published
2 years agoon
By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
According to Mark Twain, “the two most important days in your Life is the day you were born and the day you found out why.” Why is this important? One of the best questions any rational and progressive mind must endeavor to answer before he leaves this sinful world is discovering the purpose of his existence. Whether one is in the academic space, relationship/marriage, entertainment, sports, business, political or otherwise, they must understand the basics and foundations, otherwise they might be just leaning on the wrong ladder of success.
In understanding defective success, let’s use a practical case of someone who is successful in his career, but failed in managing his family due to focusing more time on his career. Also, let’s see a case of an entrepreneur who was busy chasing contracts and money at the detriment of his sleep, and when he finally gets the money, his health has deteriorated.
Also, imagine a student who is wired to study Political Science or Philosophy in college, but somehow found himself studying Law due to the advice and influence of mentors or counselors, who felt he could do well in that area. The student might do well as a lawyer, but the question remains if he would be fulfilled as a man?
Furthermore, a lady might want to marry a man just because he has access to money as opposed to the values the man represents. The lady might end up having the man, but lacking the most important part of marital life, which is peace of mind and fulfilment.
The list is literally endless, but the moral of the question is, someone might get to the peak of his career, have access to money and the good things of life, but still misses a fundamental aspect of life-fulfilment.
What therefore, is defective success? Defective success is achieving a goal or assignment you are not sent for, or leaning on the wrong side of the wall. Not how far you have come, but how far you should have gone.
Defective success is simply leaning on the wrong ladder of success. Imagine leaning on the wrong ladder to climb up a position and when you get to your destination, you now discover you were leaning on the wrong ladder, which literally means, though you reached the peak, however, the gains and blessings would have been much higher if that’s the purpose you have been destined to do. What most people fail to understand is that one can be successful at something they are not called to do, and that’s defective success.
But how does defective success works? There is a story told by one of my mentors, Sir Fela Durutoye, a leadership expert, on how an Executive Director of a bank fell victim to defective success. According to him, this man participated in one of his training sessions and after the training, the man told him he had made him lose his job. Mr. Fela asked, how? He responded that after listening to him, he discovered he was meant to be a leadership consultant as opposed to a bank executive. The interesting thing about this bank executive was that, when he approached the bank to inform them of his desire to resign and become a leadership consultant, not only did his bank hire him to train their staff, but they also paid him twice his salary as Executive Director in the bank. The moral of this story is that, when you are doing what you are supposed to, the universe will locate you. Again, when you are working on purpose, your reward will be priceless.
Just to illustrate this point. Sometimes, hardship can make one relocate to another country for greener pastures, thinking that’s the best thing to do, however, only to find out, his purpose was not that in that country. The person might be living, but the impact he’s supposed to make in the world will not be manifested in the lives of people he was called to serve. Moral: May we not lose the impact we are created for just because of comfort or temporary setback.
Most people don’t understand how defective success works. They just think when they have made money, have influence and more, they have arrived, however, they fail to understand that in life, there’s more to money.
As you crave for success, you must train your mind and body to have the right value system, the right mindset, the right belief system, and your aspiration and goals must be the one you set for yourself and not the one anyone sets for you.
Do you know your success is tied to the reason you are created? Success can also be tied to the resources you are given. This is because you can’t separate success from purpose.
Let me elaborate, your purpose was made in Heaven and your assignment is to fulfil the assignment on earth. So, it is the one who sends you on an assignment that will determine the rubric of the success. If in your calculated wisdom, you have attained success, but your success is not in line with the definition of success by your mentor or manager, that’s defective success.
The question now becomes how does one avoid being a victim of defective success? The first step is to live a life of purpose.
Myles Munroe, an evangelist, was right when he stated, “when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable’. Every person was created for a reason. We are all wired in a certain way to accomplish a particular purpose.
Do you know at the end of life, we will give account of all we have been given at creation. Now imagine, if you are giving your report and you derail from the purpose, assignment, and problem you have been commissioned with the resources you were given at creation.
To avoid the pains of defective success, here are three things you should focus on. 1. One must focus on working and building on their talent. You are expected to use your talent to fulfil your divine purpose. 2. Your personality: This is what gives you comfort in the place of your purpose. When your purpose is in alignment with your talent, you won’t experience stress, rather you will experience a little stretch. Third and most important passion: Passion is inbuilt, when you are passionate about a cause, your pain, detractors, and challenges will serve as inspiration and distractions because you have a burning desire to accomplish something that is built in you which you are created to do. But when you are not working on purpose, you won’t experience strength, peace of mind and fulfilment.
Let me share a little bit of personal experience with you. Despite studying Taxation Law in New York Law School, I wasn’t passionate about the major. I remember when I was offered a decent salary by the New York City Department of Finance to begin my career as a Tax Specialist, I didn’t take the offer because I wasn’t passionate about the industry. I ended up settling for a Case Manager position, which offered me half of the pay I got for taxation.
The interesting thing was that I got joy, fulfilment, and most importantly, it aligned with my passion for service for humanity. Moral: When you are working on purpose, you’ll control money as opposed to being a slave to money. When you are passionate about a cause, you will be equipped with the talent to solve any challenge that may arise.
It’s instructive to note that when passion finds assignment, fulfillment is met, but when passion is lacking, it can lead to frustration. Be advised, even when you are working on purpose and a cause you are passionate about, you are bound to experience some level of frustration, but this frustration might not be the same as when you are doing what you are not created to do, rather it will serve as an alarm clock saying, what you are doing is not what you are created to do. Every time you are working on defective success, you won’t get fulfillment and a little distraction can lead to frustration.
When you are working on purpose and you experience frustration, you’ll have a certain level of peace despite the pain because somehow, you are working on purpose.
It’s sad to note that many people are not working where they are supposed to work, while some are working on a job they are not supposed to work.
Question: How do I find my purpose to avoid defective success?
If purpose is the reason for your existence, your best bet is to ask the manufacturer if you have the manual of any product. This is because you are not an accident. You are created and equipped on purpose to solve a problem. Your purpose was made in heaven and it’s eternal, but your assignment is time bound which must be fulfilled on earth.
For instance, your purpose cannot be changed, but your assignment varies. For instance, your purpose of going to school from primary school to university never changes, because it’s centered on acquiring education, but your assignment may change because your assignment at each stage from primary one to university will change as your progress.
Again, when your assignment changes, it’s still working on the grand scheme of things. This is why when you experience challenges, it’s part of the trials and dynamics to position and strengthen you to the place you are supposed to be. Moral: Don’t get distracted. Stay focused.
Connect with your purpose by finding your assignment. Anytime you follow the voice of the one who sent you, he will lead you to the next assignment.
When you are working on purpose, everything you need to succeed will be given to you at your place of assignment by the creator and manufacturer. Therefore, you must connect with your purpose to fulfil your purpose. According to Fela Durutoye, the future is everything you can be, but you are yet to become, the future is everything you can possess or achieve but you are yet to achieve or possess it. Your task is to deliver the future, but that will only come when you are working on purpose.
In conclusion, you must give your time, energy, money and resources to do what you are created to do. You were given everything from eternity to ensure you succeed, but you will only succeed when you are living or working on purpose.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Confidence and Succces by Henry Ukazu
Published
5 days agoon
February 21, 2026By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
Did you know confidence is a currency? Confidence is not about one’s strength, but about one’s ability, capacity, capability and competence. When someone is confident, it can be felt. One doesn’t have to say much because their work will speak for them.
Confidence works in all fields of life. A man who wants to talk to a lady must have a level of confidence; a prospective employee must have confidence to pass his examination, and a public speaker must have a decent amount of confidence to speak.
In the legal world, a Latin maxim suggests, “Res Ipsa Loquitur,” meaning that the fact speaks for itself. For the sake of clarity, the maxim means that one doesn’t have to provide much explanation to prove a point in the court of law. For instance, white is white and black is black. So, when one is confident about their work, they don’t need to speak too much about because the work will speak for itself.
To further understand how confidence works, consider Walter Payton’s exposition on knowing the difference between Good and Great; “when you are good at something, you tell everyone, when you’re great at something, they’ll tell you. Isn’t it true that noise is loud while creation is silent? Sometimes, I do wonder why people have the urge to boast about their achievements as opposed to allowing other people to sing their praises. Please, don’t misunderstand me, it’s good to speak about oneself in addition to having high self-esteem; however, the balance is having moderation.
Confidence always stays in the family of humility; they are opposed to pride and arrogance, and those who always feel entitled and sarcastic. Most great leaders who know their worth are humble and charitable in their relationship with those who are inferior, as against arrogant leaders.
Confidence works in different ways.
Whether you are preparing for an examination, a career promotion, soccer, or an athletic competition, you need confidence, because that’s what will set you apart from your contemporaries. That’s why it’s always and generally good to prepare before you begin any major task; failure to do this can lead to disaster because failing to prepare is preparing to fail.
Imagine being called upon to speak or lead an organization; if you don’t do your homework diligently, you are setting yourself up for failure. Contrast the case to a scenario where you could meet President Trump, Elon Musk, or even your idol who has inspired you to become great, and you came prepared with your questions.
Trust me, at the end of the time, if my thinking is right, you might not remain the same again because a lot of mental transformation may have taken place. As a matter of fact, lots of opportunities might open for you to explore simply because you made yourself available and have the confidence to speak up.
Inasmuch as it is generally good for one to prepare, in some cases, one just has to swim inside the oceans because there’s little or no time for preparation. This is an exception to the general rule of life which advocates preparation. I can relate to this rule because I was a victim.
I can vividly remember when I arrived the United States of America and joined the Nigerian Lawyers Association as a graduate student. During the election, I picked up the form for Public Relations Officer; no one contested for the position, so I won unopposed. The interesting thing about this position was that I wasn’t prepared to assume the position; I felt it was like one of those organizations I could handle like I did while in Nigeria. However, one thing is certain: I had subtle confidence in my ability even though I knew the journey would be challenging. The result and experience were totally different.
Confidence doesn’t come easily; it has to be nurtured with preparation, just like gold has to go through fire in the furnace to become refined.
In conclusion, I would like to ask you, what gives you strength, what makes you happy, and what do you do with relative ease? When you figure it out, please focus on it and build it. By the time you are done, you will be amazed at what you have accomplished by applying confidence to your personality.
In conclusion, as your journey in life, please note that foundations are critical in life. They can either mar or make you. So, please pay attention to the foundation you are laying down because at the end of the day, the way you make your bed is the way you will lie on it.
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Build the Right Foundation by Henry Ukazu
Published
2 weeks agoon
February 14, 2026By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
If you are asked, what your foundation is, what would be your response? In case, you are wondering the kind of foundation meant, consider the following. Foundation means different things to different people and even different organizations. A student’s foundation may be linked to how their parents trained them, through elementary, High school and college. A Christian foundation might be linked to their knowledge of the Bible and encounter with God. The formidability of a house or structure is traceable to its foundation just as an employee’s or Chief Executive Officer’s work ethic can be linked to their foundational years in service.
Foundations are very critical in life. When the foundation is not right, there is bound to be a problem. It is rightly said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a step in the right direction. Did you know that foundation can affect one’s business, education, faith, career, development if success, if not properly aligned.
Let’s take a case study of an entrepreneur who is trying to develop or market a product. Initially, there will be challenge, especially when he has not been able to do his background check very well in addition to adding value to his life. But when he finally gets it right, it will be easy for him to sell the product. Even at that, most people will be concerned to know what inspired the person to develop the product and their trajectory in life, and that’s where foundation comes in.
Furthermore, if anyone wants to contest for an elective position, the electorate will be concerned about what their track record in leadership is, and emphasis will be placed on the relative professional experience that will make anyone vote for them. The same principle is applicable to anyone interested in furthering their education.
Let’s take another case study of anyone interested in earning a Ph.D. The student would have had a background in bachelor’s and master’s degrees, which is relative to the Ph.D. Failure to do this might pose a challenge to the admission process. When a student lacks the requisite educational training, they will be advised to get a post graduate diploma.
When it relates to friends, family and business associates, the ability to select the right people will set the right tone for success. For example, if you have a business, your ability to hire the right people who are more knowledgeable in addition to having expertise will be a great asset to your business. When you hire the wrong people, you are setting yourself up for failure.
It’s instructive to note that every family has a secret they are built on. Yes, every family has a secret which only the family knows. These family secrets serve as the nucleus and foundation upon which the family is built. A family built with a strong value system like prayer, love, patience, and respect stands stronger than families without a value system. That alone is a recipe for disaster in the society.
For married couples to work together, they must share similar values, interests, goals, values, religion, in addition to other related alignments to make the marriage work. Amidst all these interests, it’s instructive to note that what binds them together is more than what separates them. One may be wondering what that means. Well, one of the hallmarks that has sustained a good marriage/relationship is friendship. When two good friends marry, the union is literally blissful because what binds them together is more than what separates them. Imagine, where two friends dated for about three or five years, they would have understood each other very well, and that would be a strong basis for both to always look back on how they started when friction arises.
Every business has an ideology, value, mission and values they hold in high esteem. These ideologies serve as the foundation and inspiration for the business. In some cases, these foundations serve as the stories of why the organization or founding fathers established the organization. The same principle is applicable when it comes to picking a business partner. Both parties must share similar interests and alignments in the business.
Do you have a foundation? If yes, what is it? On a personal note, I am bold to tell anyone who cares to know, God is my foundation. I am very unapologetic about it. Most people believe in other powers, humans or even themselves, but that’s not me. My help comes from God who made the Heaven and earth. I can’t take the glory of God.
Sometimes, when I look at the trajectory of my life, and how far I have come in life, all I can say is glory be to God because I literally know my foundation, strength and limitations. To have reached this stage in life can be attributed to nothing else but God. Yes, I worked hard, I networked well with the right people in addition to being in the right places at the right times because of strategic relationships. I can go on and on, but I know there are people who have done hundred times more than me and yet can’t get the level of result I have produced overtime.
If not for the grace and mercy of God, I don’t know what I would say. For the sake of clarity let me share a few instances. I have been humbled to be interviewed by New York Times, interviewed at least three times on the television by News12, published two books with the third one in view, partnered with United Nations Development Programme in addition to having one of the best talented minds on earth to work with in my organization. I can go on and on. But as a sage will say, a word is enough for the wise.
What’s interesting about these achievements is that none is a result of human factors. They all happened in a way one will attribute the feat to God. So, why will I be ashamed of giving God the glory?
Some may not have the right foundation in life, but that is not a problem. Foundation can be learned. When you meet people or work in a certain environment, please pay attention to their values, lifestyle and more importantly the culture, and pick the right information.
In conclusion, as your journey through life, please note that foundations are critical in life. They can either mar or make you. So, please pay attention to the foundation you are laying down because at the end of the day, the way you make your bed is the way you will lie on it.
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Be Intentional in Carrying Your Cross by Henry Ukazu
Published
3 weeks agoon
February 7, 2026By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
Cross is a word that means several things to several people. For Christians, apart from serving as symbol of their faith, it refers to the agony Jesus Christ had to experience for the salvation of mankind. For a married couple, it refers to their partner’s excesses. For a grown man, it means the various endeavours required to provide for the family. For the woman, it can mean carrying a child for nine months, while for parents, it can be training and providing for their children, and for business people, it means developing, investing and growing their businesses. For employees on the other hand, it means doing the needful for the collective growth of the firm. On a general note, cross can refer to the burden or process one has to bear or undergo to be successful.
What therefore, is your cross? Yes, there’s no human being on earth without a cross. The crosses we carry however, vary. Cross is like pain. We all experience it differently. Just like it’s usually said in some social parlance, one man’s meat is another’s poison. Someone’s pain might be someone’s gain, and what might appear heavy for someone might be fun for another.
We can easily juxtapose the case of a wealthy man without a child with a poor man with children. They want what the other doesn’t have. Another scenario is where someone with enough wealth, but the children are not responsive to tutelage. Now contrast that to a case where someone might have just one or two children who are very responsible, but does not have money to support their needs and training.
Another scenario is where a student might have money, but lacks understanding to pass a subject unlike another student who might be poor, but he’s extremely intelligent. I can go on and on, but as a sage would say, a word is enough for the wise.
In the journey of life, everyone carries a cross at a particular point in time. This cross appears in various stages. The newly born child must undergo the process of crawling, walking and running. At each stage, the child carried a cross. In the same way, when the child is two years, the interest of the child changes. And it is when he becomes four years, six years, eight years, 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, 25 years, 30 years, 35 years, 40 years 50 years and 60 years, and continues to change as the years add. A closer look will explain that the child will definitely carry a cross at each stage of their life until they leave this world. The cross never ends, it just changes.
The same principle is applicable to relationships. During dating or courtship, the way partners relate is quite different from when they are married. When they are married, their love language hits different, and when the kids begin to come in, it’s a different story. When their marriage hits five, 10, 15, 20, and 30 years, it’s a different ball game entirely. The interesting thing here is that, what ordinarily might not be a problem during their first three years might threaten their marriage in five or ten years because the cross they carry has shifted.
Everyone has a cross irrespective if the profession or leaning. I call this cross “secret frustration”. What makes the ultimate difference is how we manage the pain or frustration. If the pain, challenge or cross is properly managed, one will not appear burnt, however, if the pain takes a toil on you, one will pay the price and if not properly managed it can have an adverse repercussion.
Furthermore, carrying one’s cross involves carrying one’s responsibility and vision. Nobody will carry it for you. Imagine, having a vision and giving it to someone else, nobody will carry your vision for you, neither will anyone do the work for you.
In my personal experience in life, I have always searched for men who can pour into me whether financially, academically, mentally, spiritually and health-wise. One may wonder what I gained during the period, I was disappointed on several occasions. It was the moment I realized my life and success was entirely in my hands, I became intentional in carrying my cross and results began to trickle in. The moral of my experience is that nobody will save you, you must save yourself. The best anybody can do is to assist you to save you.
One of the surprising things I have discovered when people carry their crosses is that others appear to be spectators; they observe with reservation to see how life will unfold for you. By the time one succeeds, these observers appear like flies to grab their own share of largesse they didn’t invest in. Suddenly, they become entitled to your hard-earned money and opportunities which they didn’t contribute to making. As one of my mentors will say, you are allowed to do the work, but you are not permitted to eat alone. These sets of ignorant minds fail to understand the importance of taking risks, sacrificing and building strategic relationships. These are the strong pillars which separate an ordinary mind from an extraordinary man.
The moral of this analysis is that the extra-ordinary man was intentional in carrying his cross by taking strategic risks, experiencing failures and building and investing in strategic relationships which culminated to their success, but the ordinary man was merely concerned in staying in their comfort zones.
It’s instructive to note that it’s not easy for anyone; everyone is dealing with something. Sometimes, people make foolish mistakes and take poor decisions which cause them a fortune and they expect someone who they consider as a Lamb of God to take away their sins, but life doesn’t work that way. If you ask someone for assistance and they say they can’t afford it, please don’t be mad, because if you can, you wouldn’t ask them.
In conclusion, I don’t know what your situation is, but I’m here to tell you, your cross is valid, and your cross will not only design your destiny, but it will unleash your destiny which will ultimately set you apart. So, don’t be hard on yourself when you are carrying your cross, it’s part of life’s journey and process to fashion and unleash you to the world.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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