Adding Value
Adding Value: Dealing with Defective Success by Henry Ukazu
Published
2 years agoon
By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
According to Mark Twain, “the two most important days in your Life is the day you were born and the day you found out why.” Why is this important? One of the best questions any rational and progressive mind must endeavor to answer before he leaves this sinful world is discovering the purpose of his existence. Whether one is in the academic space, relationship/marriage, entertainment, sports, business, political or otherwise, they must understand the basics and foundations, otherwise they might be just leaning on the wrong ladder of success.
In understanding defective success, let’s use a practical case of someone who is successful in his career, but failed in managing his family due to focusing more time on his career. Also, let’s see a case of an entrepreneur who was busy chasing contracts and money at the detriment of his sleep, and when he finally gets the money, his health has deteriorated.
Also, imagine a student who is wired to study Political Science or Philosophy in college, but somehow found himself studying Law due to the advice and influence of mentors or counselors, who felt he could do well in that area. The student might do well as a lawyer, but the question remains if he would be fulfilled as a man?
Furthermore, a lady might want to marry a man just because he has access to money as opposed to the values the man represents. The lady might end up having the man, but lacking the most important part of marital life, which is peace of mind and fulfilment.
The list is literally endless, but the moral of the question is, someone might get to the peak of his career, have access to money and the good things of life, but still misses a fundamental aspect of life-fulfilment.
What therefore, is defective success? Defective success is achieving a goal or assignment you are not sent for, or leaning on the wrong side of the wall. Not how far you have come, but how far you should have gone.
Defective success is simply leaning on the wrong ladder of success. Imagine leaning on the wrong ladder to climb up a position and when you get to your destination, you now discover you were leaning on the wrong ladder, which literally means, though you reached the peak, however, the gains and blessings would have been much higher if that’s the purpose you have been destined to do. What most people fail to understand is that one can be successful at something they are not called to do, and that’s defective success.
But how does defective success works? There is a story told by one of my mentors, Sir Fela Durutoye, a leadership expert, on how an Executive Director of a bank fell victim to defective success. According to him, this man participated in one of his training sessions and after the training, the man told him he had made him lose his job. Mr. Fela asked, how? He responded that after listening to him, he discovered he was meant to be a leadership consultant as opposed to a bank executive. The interesting thing about this bank executive was that, when he approached the bank to inform them of his desire to resign and become a leadership consultant, not only did his bank hire him to train their staff, but they also paid him twice his salary as Executive Director in the bank. The moral of this story is that, when you are doing what you are supposed to, the universe will locate you. Again, when you are working on purpose, your reward will be priceless.
Just to illustrate this point. Sometimes, hardship can make one relocate to another country for greener pastures, thinking that’s the best thing to do, however, only to find out, his purpose was not that in that country. The person might be living, but the impact he’s supposed to make in the world will not be manifested in the lives of people he was called to serve. Moral: May we not lose the impact we are created for just because of comfort or temporary setback.
Most people don’t understand how defective success works. They just think when they have made money, have influence and more, they have arrived, however, they fail to understand that in life, there’s more to money.
As you crave for success, you must train your mind and body to have the right value system, the right mindset, the right belief system, and your aspiration and goals must be the one you set for yourself and not the one anyone sets for you.
Do you know your success is tied to the reason you are created? Success can also be tied to the resources you are given. This is because you can’t separate success from purpose.
Let me elaborate, your purpose was made in Heaven and your assignment is to fulfil the assignment on earth. So, it is the one who sends you on an assignment that will determine the rubric of the success. If in your calculated wisdom, you have attained success, but your success is not in line with the definition of success by your mentor or manager, that’s defective success.
The question now becomes how does one avoid being a victim of defective success? The first step is to live a life of purpose.
Myles Munroe, an evangelist, was right when he stated, “when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable’. Every person was created for a reason. We are all wired in a certain way to accomplish a particular purpose.
Do you know at the end of life, we will give account of all we have been given at creation. Now imagine, if you are giving your report and you derail from the purpose, assignment, and problem you have been commissioned with the resources you were given at creation.
To avoid the pains of defective success, here are three things you should focus on. 1. One must focus on working and building on their talent. You are expected to use your talent to fulfil your divine purpose. 2. Your personality: This is what gives you comfort in the place of your purpose. When your purpose is in alignment with your talent, you won’t experience stress, rather you will experience a little stretch. Third and most important passion: Passion is inbuilt, when you are passionate about a cause, your pain, detractors, and challenges will serve as inspiration and distractions because you have a burning desire to accomplish something that is built in you which you are created to do. But when you are not working on purpose, you won’t experience strength, peace of mind and fulfilment.
Let me share a little bit of personal experience with you. Despite studying Taxation Law in New York Law School, I wasn’t passionate about the major. I remember when I was offered a decent salary by the New York City Department of Finance to begin my career as a Tax Specialist, I didn’t take the offer because I wasn’t passionate about the industry. I ended up settling for a Case Manager position, which offered me half of the pay I got for taxation.
The interesting thing was that I got joy, fulfilment, and most importantly, it aligned with my passion for service for humanity. Moral: When you are working on purpose, you’ll control money as opposed to being a slave to money. When you are passionate about a cause, you will be equipped with the talent to solve any challenge that may arise.
It’s instructive to note that when passion finds assignment, fulfillment is met, but when passion is lacking, it can lead to frustration. Be advised, even when you are working on purpose and a cause you are passionate about, you are bound to experience some level of frustration, but this frustration might not be the same as when you are doing what you are not created to do, rather it will serve as an alarm clock saying, what you are doing is not what you are created to do. Every time you are working on defective success, you won’t get fulfillment and a little distraction can lead to frustration.
When you are working on purpose and you experience frustration, you’ll have a certain level of peace despite the pain because somehow, you are working on purpose.
It’s sad to note that many people are not working where they are supposed to work, while some are working on a job they are not supposed to work.
Question: How do I find my purpose to avoid defective success?
If purpose is the reason for your existence, your best bet is to ask the manufacturer if you have the manual of any product. This is because you are not an accident. You are created and equipped on purpose to solve a problem. Your purpose was made in heaven and it’s eternal, but your assignment is time bound which must be fulfilled on earth.
For instance, your purpose cannot be changed, but your assignment varies. For instance, your purpose of going to school from primary school to university never changes, because it’s centered on acquiring education, but your assignment may change because your assignment at each stage from primary one to university will change as your progress.
Again, when your assignment changes, it’s still working on the grand scheme of things. This is why when you experience challenges, it’s part of the trials and dynamics to position and strengthen you to the place you are supposed to be. Moral: Don’t get distracted. Stay focused.
Connect with your purpose by finding your assignment. Anytime you follow the voice of the one who sent you, he will lead you to the next assignment.
When you are working on purpose, everything you need to succeed will be given to you at your place of assignment by the creator and manufacturer. Therefore, you must connect with your purpose to fulfil your purpose. According to Fela Durutoye, the future is everything you can be, but you are yet to become, the future is everything you can possess or achieve but you are yet to achieve or possess it. Your task is to deliver the future, but that will only come when you are working on purpose.
In conclusion, you must give your time, energy, money and resources to do what you are created to do. You were given everything from eternity to ensure you succeed, but you will only succeed when you are living or working on purpose.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Kill Worry Before It Kills You by Henry Ukazu
Published
3 days agoon
July 18, 2026By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
No human being can claim exeption from worry. Studies have proved that every person has at one time or another expressed worry over a particular, personal or general. Worry is a universal emotion, and not selective. We worry about our friends, children, partners, spouses, finance, career, health, job interviews and sometimes, how to go about first dates.
Worrying is like a challenge. No matter how hard one tries, they cannot run away from it. Worry can be described as the necessary evil we can’t afford. The basic truth temains that so long as there’s life, worrying about something is never faraway.
Did you know that constant worrying, negative thinking, and always expecting the worst can take a toll on a person’s emotional and physical health. It can sap emotional strength, leave one feeling restless and jumpy, cause insomnia, headaches, stomach problems, and make it difficult to concentrate at work or school.
When you worry, you experience restlessness. You may feel physically jittery, or restless and unfocused at work or school. This is because your attention is so focused on your worries.
Constant worrying can keep you up at night and make you tense and edgy during the day. And even though you hate feeling like a nervous wreck, it can still be so difficult to stop. For most chronic worriers, the anxious thoughts are fueled by the likely negative beliefs they hold in high belief that’s likely going to happen.
The truth about life is that no matter how hard we try, we can’t solve any problem by worrying about the problem. Imagine being poor, sick, and experiencing a spiritual challenge, trust me, crying, apportioning blame, and complaining won’t fix the problem. What is expected from an informed mind is to fix the problem by proffering solutions.
In the words of a social commentator, Dr. Yomi Garnet, “worry is such an unfortunate habit, isn’t it? Admittedly, real problems do exist, but often we expend so much energy on problems that do not exist, or worse still, we create new ones by dwelling on a myriad of bad things that might happen but never do. Resolve today to be so strong that nothing and nobody can disturb your peace of mind”.
One of the major disadvantages of worry is the level of restlessness and sleeplessness it brings with it, meaning that worries can keep one awake all night.
Changes in social life. Worry can cause social detachment. The effects of chronic worrying can also spill over into your social life. You might find that you become short-tempered with people around you, or even self-isolate yourself from others because you feel so emotionally exhausted.
The question now becomes; how do we solve these problems and challenges? How do we overcome worry? And more importantly, how can we live above worry?
Speak to a Licensed Therapist
Speaking to someone can help to address his concern. According to Maya Angelou, “People may may forget what you say, people may forget what you do, but people will never forget how you made them feel. You can consider speaking to your parents, siblings, partners, mentor or licensed therapist. For instance, BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. You can ask your friends, family members, and people of interest how they cope with uncertainty in specific situations. This can help to improve social and mental wellbeing.
Build a strong support system.
Human beings are social creatures. We’re not meant to live in isolation. But a strong support system doesn’t necessarily mean a vast network of friends. Don’t underestimate the benefit of a few people you can trust and count on to be there for you.
Admit Your Fears
Let’s be honest, it’s practically impossible to feel truly thankful and discontented at the same moment. The first step in solving a problem is by admitting and recognizing we have a problem. This is because identification of a problem is fifty percent solved. Once we know a problem exists, the next stage is how do we solve the problem.
There’s no double fear plays a big role in why we worry. We worry about the future. Imagine being out of work and owing rent, it could be traumatic. So, admitting one has a problem of having no job and owing rent is enough to put fear in our body. To solve these problems, one ought to find a job. That’s one of the fastest and most resourceful ways of eliminating fear and worry as it relates to being poor or out of work.
Give Thanks.
Another great way of eliminating worry from our life is by giving thanks to God if one is a Christian. Giving thanks has an undertone of acknowledging problems, however, it says, I’m not focusing on it because I have a superior power over the problem and as such, I will thank my creator who is aware of issues at hand.
Again, giving thanks has an inherent message saying, this challenge is a test of my ability to overcome this challenge. The problem will make one think out of the box about how to address the problem.
Be Still
Being still despite chaos can be challenging. One of the ways of practicing this principle is by taking a deep breath, resting, reflecting, and meditating. This helps to clear one’s head to focus on important things as opposed to mundane things. It’s instructive to note that there’s a certain level of peace of mind that comes to one when one is still.
Pray
This is one of the most powerful ways to end worry from our life. Sometimes, there are problems that are beyond us, but they are not beyond our God. According to the Serenity prayer, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Sometimes, I wonder why most people worry when they can pray. Prayers can change a lot of things if we are intentional and do our own part of the bargain.
In conclusion, to live long and become productive, please quit worrying and complaining about what you have no control over and focus on what you have control over.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value: Make Efficiency, Effectiveness Your Watchword by Henry Ukazu
Published
1 week agoon
July 11, 2026By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
To be successful, everyone needs to be effective and efficient in all they do. Success does not come from nicety, speech articulation or fine diction, spotless dressing, connections, good proposal or even from having a good product. Though all these factors might play a role, a business man must not only be efficient in their business, they must also be effective.
These words, effective and efficient no doubt, are so closely related, however there’s a thin line of difference between the two. If you stay with me for awhile, you’ll understand.
One might be wondering what the difference between being effective and being efficient is. According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, a prolific and exceptional ghost writer, efficiency is the ability to do something well without wasting energy or effort, whilst to be effective is simply to do something well. Let’s talk a minute to explain how this works. One can be efficient and not effective, and one can be effective and not efficient. But a truly great mind is both effective and efficient. When one is efficient, it means that he can do the work within the shortest possible time. This may be because he has done it over and over again, and have mastered its nitty-gritty.
There’s a saying, if someone can’t explain something to a six-year-old child, that person doesn’t understand the subject very well. I agree with this saying because when someone understands something, he/she won’t go through stress explaining it, and will spend minimum time doing it. Whilst for someone who is effective, he knows the issue or has a subject matter expert on the business very well. He can literally do it when he wakes up from sleep without rehearsing. So, in summary, an effective person saves time, while an efficient person explains better.
As progressive beings, we must be proactive with not only our life, but also our business, career, and whatever we find our hand worthy of doing. By doing so, people will appreciate us and support us. In business, one of the best forms of advertising is referral. When one’s work is exceptionally good, he doesn’t need too much advertising; his work will speak for itself. For instance, anyone who may have used the product might say ‘I have used this product or service, and I can guarantee its effectiveness’. Another person might say ‘the staff are very efficient, professional, and great at customer service’.
All these are great reviews. Trust me, one doesn’t need too many reviews to believe in the authenticity of what people are saying. They can sense a genuine review devoid of sentiments and vested interest. So, imagine a case where there’s no review, one might have a challenge in believing the durability and effectiveness of the product/service.
As a business owner, one must be intentional with respect to how he treats his employers and customers. What most uninformed business owners don’t know is that when you take care of your staff, they will in turn take care of your business. When the staff are happy, they’ll treat the customers well, and when the customers are happy, they’ll in turn tell the world. Do you see how effectiveness and efficiency work in a company?
In a similar way, if one is consistent in publishing articles every week like I do, opportunities are bound to arise soon when there’s alignment. As a business owner, I can authoritatively tell you being good at what you say you do is a currency. Nobody likes shady or dirty work. I can also tell you people are ready to pay for premium services provided you can deliver.
Let me share a personal experience with you; two months ago, I visited my home country – Nigeria, for a business opportunity. During my meeting with some established institutions, I had to submit proposals to them. But because I wasn’t proficient in writing proposals, I had to hire a consultant to do the job for me. Not only did I hire a consultant, I also flew him for business meetings because I trusted his judgment, and guess work, it paid off.
Imagine, if I had to do it myself, I doubt if the work would have been given the kind of positive attention it attracted. Why am I sharing this information? When one is good at what they do, it won’t take long for them to be seen when the right opportunity comes.
Being efficient and effective does not only apply to our professional lives, it’s also applicable in our personal lives. In the world we currently live in, things are governed by perception. When people see how effective and efficient you are, they will be inclined to associate with you, but when you appear like an unserious person, they will find it hard to recommend or refer you for business opportunities.
So, today, take stock and ask yourself if are you an effective and efficient person; if your company is effective and efficient. If your answer is no; ask yourself what you can do to make you and your company effective. The answer will set you on the right path to success.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Published
2 weeks agoon
July 5, 2026By
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