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Adding Value

Adding Value: Dealing with Defective Success by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

According to Mark Twain, “the two most important days in your Life is the day you were born and the day you found out why.” Why is this important? One of the best questions any rational and progressive mind must endeavor to answer before he leaves this sinful world is discovering the purpose of his existence. Whether one is in the academic space, relationship/marriage, entertainment, sports, business, political or otherwise, they must understand the basics and foundations, otherwise they might be just leaning on the wrong ladder of success.

In understanding defective success, let’s use a practical case of someone who is successful in his career, but failed in managing his family due to focusing more time on his career. Also, let’s see a case of an entrepreneur who was busy chasing contracts and money at the detriment of his sleep, and when he finally gets the money, his health has deteriorated.

Also, imagine a student who is wired to study Political Science or Philosophy in college, but somehow found himself studying Law due to the advice and influence of mentors or counselors, who felt he could do well in that area. The student might do well as a lawyer, but the question remains if he would be fulfilled as a man?

Furthermore, a lady might want to marry a man just because he has access to money as opposed to the values the man represents. The lady might end up having the man, but lacking the most important part of marital life, which is peace of mind and fulfilment.

The list is literally endless, but the moral of the question is, someone might get to the peak of his career, have access to money and the good things of life, but still misses a fundamental aspect of life-fulfilment.

What therefore, is defective success? Defective success is achieving a goal or assignment you are not sent for, or leaning on the wrong side of the wall. Not how far you have come, but how far you should have gone.

Defective success is simply leaning on the wrong ladder of success. Imagine leaning on the wrong ladder to climb up a position and when you get to your destination, you now discover you were leaning on the wrong ladder, which literally means, though you reached the peak, however, the gains and blessings would have been much higher if that’s the purpose you have been destined to do. What most people fail to understand is that one can be successful at something they are not called to do, and that’s defective success.

But how does defective success works? There is a story told by one of my mentors, Sir Fela Durutoye, a leadership expert, on how an Executive Director of a bank fell victim to defective success. According to him, this man participated in one of his training sessions and after the training, the man told him he had made him lose his job. Mr. Fela asked, how? He responded that after listening to him, he discovered he was meant to be a leadership consultant as opposed to a bank executive. The interesting thing about this bank executive was that, when he approached the bank to inform them of his desire to resign and become a leadership consultant, not only did his bank hire him to train their staff, but they also paid him twice his salary as Executive Director in the bank.  The moral of this story is that, when you are doing what you are supposed to, the universe will locate you. Again, when you are working on purpose, your reward will be priceless.

Just to illustrate this point. Sometimes, hardship can make one relocate to another country for greener pastures, thinking that’s the best thing to do, however, only to find out, his purpose was not that in that country. The person might be living, but the impact he’s supposed to make in the world will not be manifested in the lives of people he was called to serve. Moral: May we not lose the impact we are created for just because of comfort or temporary setback.

Most people don’t understand how defective success works. They just think when they have made money, have influence and more, they have arrived, however, they fail to understand that in life, there’s more to money.

As you crave for success, you must train your mind and body to have the right value system, the right mindset, the right belief system, and your aspiration and goals must be the one you set for yourself and not the one anyone sets for you.

Do you know your success is tied to the reason you are created? Success can also be tied to the resources you are given. This is because you can’t separate success from purpose.

Let me elaborate, your purpose was made in Heaven and your assignment is to fulfil the assignment on earth. So, it is the one who sends you on an assignment that will determine the rubric of the success. If in your calculated wisdom, you have attained success, but your success is not in line with the definition of success by your mentor or manager, that’s defective success.

The question now becomes how does one avoid being a victim of defective success? The first step is to live a life of purpose.

Myles Munroe, an evangelist, was right when he stated, “when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable’. Every person was created for a reason. We are all wired in a certain way to accomplish a particular purpose.

Do you know at the end of life, we will give account of all we have been given at creation. Now imagine, if you are giving your report and you derail from the purpose, assignment, and problem you have been commissioned with the resources you were given at creation.

To avoid the pains of defective success, here are three things you should focus on. 1. One must focus on working and building on their talent. You are expected to use your talent to fulfil your divine purpose. 2. Your personality: This is what gives you comfort in the place of your purpose. When your purpose is in alignment with your talent, you won’t experience stress, rather you will experience a little stretch. Third and most important passion: Passion is inbuilt, when you are passionate about a cause, your pain, detractors, and challenges will serve as inspiration and distractions because you have a burning desire to accomplish something that is built in you which you are created to do. But when you are not working on purpose, you won’t experience strength, peace of mind and fulfilment.

Let me share a little bit of personal experience with you. Despite studying Taxation Law in New York Law School, I wasn’t passionate about the major. I remember when I was offered a decent salary by the New York City Department of Finance to begin my career as a Tax Specialist, I didn’t take the offer because I wasn’t passionate about the industry. I ended up settling for a Case Manager position, which offered me half of the pay I got for taxation.

The interesting thing was that I got joy, fulfilment, and most importantly, it aligned with my passion for service for humanity.  Moral: When you are working on purpose, you’ll control money as opposed to being a slave to money. When you are passionate about a cause, you will be equipped with the talent to solve any challenge that may arise.

It’s instructive to note that when passion finds assignment, fulfillment is met, but when passion is lacking, it can lead to frustration. Be advised, even when you are working on purpose and a cause you are passionate about, you are bound to experience some level of frustration, but this frustration might not be the same as when you are doing what you are not created to do, rather it will serve as an alarm clock saying, what you are doing is not what you are created to do. Every time you are working on defective success, you won’t get fulfillment and a little distraction can lead to frustration.

When you are working on purpose and you experience frustration, you’ll have a certain level of peace despite the pain because somehow, you are working on purpose.

It’s sad to note that many people are not working where they are supposed to work, while some are working on a job they are not supposed to work.

Question: How do I find my purpose to avoid defective success?

If purpose is the reason for your existence, your best bet is to ask the manufacturer if you have the manual of any product. This is because you are not an accident. You are created and equipped on purpose to solve a problem. Your purpose was made in heaven and it’s eternal, but your assignment is time bound which must be fulfilled on earth.

For instance, your purpose cannot be changed, but your assignment varies. For instance, your purpose of going to school from primary school to university never changes, because it’s centered on acquiring education, but your assignment may change because your assignment at each stage from primary one to university will change as your progress.

Again, when your assignment changes, it’s still working on the grand scheme of things. This is why when you experience challenges, it’s part of the trials and dynamics to position and strengthen you to the place you are supposed to be. Moral:  Don’t get distracted. Stay focused.

Connect with your purpose by finding your assignment. Anytime you follow the voice of the one who sent you, he will lead you to the next assignment.

When you are working on purpose, everything you need to succeed will be given to you at your place of assignment by the creator and manufacturer. Therefore, you must connect with your purpose to fulfil your purpose. According to Fela Durutoye, the future is everything you can be, but you are yet to become, the future is everything you can possess or achieve but you are yet to achieve or possess it. Your task is to deliver the future, but that will only come when you are working on purpose.

In conclusion, you must give your time, energy, money and resources to do what you are created to do. You were given everything from eternity to ensure you succeed, but you will only succeed when you are living or working on purpose.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Have a Winning Mentality by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

The mind is very powerful, so powerful that most people do not know what they possess. To this extent, some have given out their mind-power without knowing it. The power of the mind is akeen to a voice that speaks. This is because the human is more or less the strongest arsenal in everyone’s possession.

The voice brings freedom; it’s so inalienable that we can use it during elections, meetings, and where opinion matters. That’s why I strongly believe that as a human being, when you lose everything, you must not lose the power of your voice.

As a progressive being, there are many things that battle for our attention: family, friends, career, health, even our inner self demands attention. One of the greatest challenges we’ll have as human beings is how to apportion time to all of them because they all want to succeed. Failing to give them their due attention might lead to deficiency, which can ultimately lead to failure.

To succeed in all areas of life whether in business, academic, family, etc., one must have a winning mentality. The failure and success of anyone or project starts from the mind. When the mind has been conquered, it will be hard for anyone to succeed. That’s why one has to be intentional in what they consume whether it relates to the books they read, the association they keep and the thoughts they entertain.

We are shaped by our thoughts. According to Napoleon Hill in his book “Think and Grow Rich”, he stated, “whatsoever the mind can conceive, believe it can achieve it”. To succeed in life, we must have a winning mindset. One of the major problems we have as human beings is that sometimes we give up too early, especially when the odds are against us. But when we exhibit a winning mindset, failures, betrayals, setbacks, detractors, are seen as challenges and hurdles we must overcome to get to the promised land.

There are many examples of great minds who have exercised a winner mindset, a great name that comes to mind is Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln lost his job in 1832. He was defeated for state legislature in 1832. He failed in business in 1833 and was elected to the state legislature in 1834. His sweetheart died in 1835. He had a nervous breakdown in 1836 and was defeated for Speaker in 1838. In 1843, he was defeated for nomination for Congress. In 1846, he was elected to Congress and in 1848, he lost renomination in 1848. In 1849, he was rejected for land officer. In 1854, he was defeated for the U.S. Senate. Again, he was defeated for nomination for Vice President in 1856 and defeated for U.S. Senate in 1858. Finally, in 1860, he was elected the 16th President of the United States of America.

If we are honest with ourselves, it will be hard for one to forge ahead after experiencing numerous setbacks in business, family, health, career, and even personal challenges. I had to use Abraham Lincoln because he embodies the winner mindset.

The winner’s mindset is not only limited to one’s thoughts. It’s applicable to every area of one’s life. The winner’s mindset is more than just having good thoughts, thinking positively or even standing up when one fails. No, it entails more than that. The winner’s mindset is a lifestyle which preaches the gospel of doing what you must do and be appreciative of the feedback.

The winner’s mindset has the mentality of preparing for the best and expecting the worst. This entails one can’t be taken by surprise if their plans don’t work out well, and this means one will have to go back to the drawing board to fix it.

A good way to understand how a winner’s mindset plays out can be seen during football(soccer) competitions or track and field events where athletes have almost given up hope of winning the game or race.

A case of interest that comes to mind was during the 1996 Atlanta Olympics soccer semi-final competition where the Nigeria Dream team defeated the Brazil Seleção Brasileira de Futebol team in what can be considered one of the greatest comebacks in football history.

Let me give a brief overview, the Nigerian team were down with two goals. As a matter of fact, at a time during the match, the Brazilian team scored a fourth goal which was disqualified. The Nigerian team also had a penalty they lost. Going into the Semi final, the Brazilians were considered the favorites, and the Nigeria team were considered the underdogs. The odds were literally against the Nigeria team because the Brazilians had a formidable team.

Despite the Brazilian team leading Nigeria 3-1, the Nigerian team were able to bounce back during the last 15 minutes and won the game during the extra time. While is this story interesting and relevant? Well, in the game of soccer, nobody gives up until the final whistle is blown by the referee and the same applies in track and field events especially in track events. We have seen scenarios where athletes were almost at the finish line but lost out due to fatigue or one challenge or the other, the athlete fails to finish the race. It gets interesting during relay races.

Back to the soccer competition, one factor that helped the Nigerian team was the winner mindset. They didn’t give up despite the few minutes remaining in the game. They still gave their best and it paid off. It’s instructive to note that the average Nigerian always has the can-do mindset. The average Nigerian hardly gives up.

According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, a renowned ghostwriter, “To be a winner, you have to act like one. Winners don’t function the way most people do. They are always striving, always analyzing, and always questioning themselves. They tend to notice details that other people miss or overlook. Indeed, it is clear that great people have two things in common: a passion to succeed and an almost obsessive attention to detail.

In conclusion, the question we’ll have to ask ourselves is what kind of mentality do we have? Do you have a negative or positive mindset? When people see challenges, do you see solutions or opportunities to solve problems to create wealth? Do you have a growth mindset or poverty mindset?

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Just Make an Attempt by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

As human beings, it’s very easy for one to give up in life, especially when one must have made several attempts on a project. Let’s take a case study of a student who has taken an examination and failed several times. Several voices might be speaking to him, this is not for you, you have given your best, just give up, etc. However, a determined mind who knows what he wants will always look at the positive side of life and forge ahead despite the challenges and setbacks. If we try one more time, we may be surprised we make break even.

I remembered when I was in New York Law School studying taxation law, I failed my prerequisite course that would enable me to graduate into the main program. While I was contemplating doing another major, my dean advised me to try one more time and I did, and the rest is history.

There was a story that was told about two friends who were on a journey trying to get gold. When they got to their destination, they began to dig, one of them was able to find gold halfway, the other was frustrated because he has reached almost the bottom of the rock and yet to strike gold, he gave up, unbeknownst to him, if only he had struck one more time, he would have found gold in large quantities more than this friends

This story is not far from other works of life. For instance, a businessman who has been failing in his business and gave up, if only he tried one more time, he would have succeeded. A married couple who has been experiencing challenges in their marital journey decide to end their marriage, but if only they have tried to give it a chance one more time, their marriage may not have packed up. The same is true for athletes who have failed a couple of times and decided to give up. If only the athletes had tried one more time, maybe they would have succeeded.

There are many stories of great people who have succeeded in life just by attempting to start a project despite several failures. See below:

Business & Entrepreneurship

Colonel Harland Sanders (65): He was fired from many jobs and became broke at 65 before starting KFC. Imagine if I had not made an attempt to try.

Sam Walton (44): He founded the first Wal-Mart at 44.

Arts & Entertainment

Grandma Moses (78): She began her painting career at 78. Imagine if she hadn’t attempted to start.

Harry Bernstein (93): He published his first novel, The Invisible Wall, at 96. Imagine if he felt he was too old to write. He dared the odds and negative voice speaking to him.

Stan Lee (39): Co-created his first big comic book at 39. Imagine if he was thinking what the world will think about his book like I was thinking when I was writing my first book.

Alan Rickman (42): Gave up a graphic design career to pursue acting at 42. Imagine, if he had not taken the courage to quit graphic design to begin acting. Indeed, it takes guts to do the extraordinary.

Morgan Freeman (52): Landed his first major movie role at 52. Imagine, if he didn’t take the first step to begin his acting career.

Writing & Lifestyle

Julia Child (39/51): Released her first cookbook at 39 and got her show at 51. Julia’s success captures the saying, when the student is ready, the master appears. Imagine if Julia hadn’t taken the initiative to start.

Other Fields

Gladys Burrill (86): Began marathon running at 86 and set a record at 92. Do you know what it means to begin marathon running at 86? It’s unbelievable to say the least.

Yuichiro Miura (80): Became the oldest person to climb Mount Everest at 80. This was made possible because she took the first step.

These stories highlight that success often stems from accumulated experience, perseverance, and passion rather than youth.

In the journey of life, starting a project is one of the hardest journeys to embark upon. The challenge most people have is starting over when they fail, but what they fail to understand is that one must try to start before any meaningful result can be made.

Let me share a practical example, when I first began writing my first book, I had no idea what I was writing. The only thing I had was an inspiration from one of my mentors saying, “you are a very smart young man, have you considered writing a book”? Those words literally hit me hard. That was all I needed to hear to begin the project.

As mentioned earlier, I had no clue what I was writing, all I knew was that I was writing what was coming to my head whether it made sense or not. On one fateful day, I felt like giving up because I wouldn’t want to waste my time writing what doesn’t make sense. I reached out to two of my mentors to review what I have written so far, and they said to me, just write whatever comes to mind when you are done, an editor will help to edit it. In all honesty, that was my saving grace. The lesson I learned from that experience is that the universe will conspire to assist you when you take a leap of fate for a new task.

So, can you see that just the attempt to begin metamorphosed into a global book the world has celebrated. Imagine, if I had not taken time to attempt to write, maybe I wouldn’t have a book to my name today.

This is literally the story of almost everyone. Most times, we find it hard to begin, but far from it, is the fact that attempting to begin is actually the hardest part. According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished and sophisticated ghost writer, “the only thing that stands between you and what you want is the will to try and the faith to believe that it is possible. How do you know you can’t control when you haven’t even tried”.

To try one, you must have faith to begin. According to the Book of life in Matthew 17:20, “I assure you that if you have faith as big as a mustard seed, you can say to this hill, ‘Go from here to there!’ and it will go. You could do anything!” To actualize this, one must attempt to begin.

In conclusion, if I ask you, what’s that thing you have always loved to do, but fear, lack of resources, procrastination etc. is holding you back? If you are on this page, I will tell you one thing, done is better than perfect when perfect is not done. So, don’t wait for a perfect time or wait for anyone to give you permission before you can begin, just attempt to start and see how the universe will conspire to work in your favor. Remember, when you are on a mission, you don’t need permission to begin.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Examine Yourself by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Please permit me to begin this article with a ‘Happy Easter’ wishes. I chose to write about this topic because the celebration of Good Friday, a day Christians all over the world focus on Jesus’ suffering and death.  It should be noted this is the most solemn day in the Christian calendar; hence it calls for us to examine ourselves.

Examining oneself doesn’t only entail the spiritual aspect of life, we need to examine our health, finance, relationship, family, purpose, career/business, personal growth and every other area of our life. According to Socrates, “an examined life is not worth living”.

As human beings we must be intentional in living a life of purpose. During this article, we shall be exploring different areas of life so examine if we are on the right path. This is simply because anyone who wants to embark on a journey, he/she must first examine or determine if he/she has all it takes to embark on the journey.

Let’s take the case of a man that wants to build a house, he must ensure he has the capacity to build the house, otherwise he might be mocked by his detractors. The same principle is applicable for someone who would like to embark on a marital journey. He/she must determine if he/she is of full age and capacity in addition to having the maturity to tolerate a partner.

The word examine is large, but for the sake of this article, we shall focus on six areas: Purpose and personal growth, family, health, finance, career, and spirituality.

Purpose

To ensure our personal growth in life, we must pay attention to our purpose.  Our purpose in life is the most important aspect of our life. If there’s one area of our life we ought to examine, it’s our life purpose.

Sometimes, due to several challenges we experience during life journeys, we all allow failures, setbacks, frustrations, betrayals, etc.  to prevent us seeing the big picture or reaching our desired goals.

It’s instructive to note that, when you are on a journey, there are many roadblocks on the road, some will appear like bumps, some will be red light, yellow light and green light giving different instructions. One thing is certain; one will get to their desired destination, all things being equal.

All the roadblocks are distractions trying to derail one from getting to their desired destination. The destination here is the purpose, which is the goal and so, the price one ought to pay is the determination one will have to pay to remain focused on the vision or goal. That’s why it’s always important for one to always examine their life, but more importantly to evaluate all that is happening around them.

Family

This is the most important unit of society, the reason why there’s so much dysfunction in society is because the family is broken. When parents who are considered the custodian of children fail in their duty, their children tend to have an unpleasant life. It’s imperative for parents to examine their family culture and stages of development of their children. This will enable them to determine how to approach and resolve issues of concern.

 Health

Our health is a vital area of our life. One of the reasons why many people give up ghosts is because they don’t pay attention to their health. Just like everyone is unique, our body system is different. What works for one might not work for another. What we eat and drink has a lot of impact on our health. So, it’s imperatively important to continuously examine their health by visiting the doctor on a regular basis.

Finance

If you are asked what your mindset towards money is, what’s likely going to be your response? Different people have different attitudes and mindset towards money. There’s a popular saying, failing to prepare is preparing to fail. Finance is a major component of life. If we take care of our finances, our finances will take care of us when we call. That’s why we must save money so that money can save us. It’s sad to see people who derive fun in spending money lavishly just because they think they have a good job. These ignorant minds fail to understand that nothing lasts forever, and nothing is guaranteed. Some people just spend without thinking of tomorrow. Managing one’s finances is a skill one needs to cultivate.

Career

In life, one of the ways to define us is by what we do. Some people are defined by their title, while others are defined by the result they produce. Whether you are an entrepreneur, employee, or Chief Operating Officer of a company, it is imperatively important for one to examine their business to know how they are faring. For instance, an employee will be examined by their supervisor every year, an entrepreneur will examine the strategies he has invested in his business, and the chief operating officer will continuously examine the structure of the business to know where they need to revamp.

Spirituality

Spirituality is life. It’s unfortunate many people take things about spiritual life lightly. Our life is governed by what we do and what we believe in.  Isn’t it true that life is governed first in the spiritual realm before it appears in the physical.

As mentioned earlier, today is Good Friday, a day Christians all over the world meditate on the suffering and death of Jesus Christ. Whether you are a Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or whatever religion you may have, one principle of life we must all adopt is the golden rule which says, do to others whatever you will like them to do unto you. In every religion, there are principles which govern or guide them. When one derails, the spirit guiding them might depart.

As Christians, we are instructed to live like Jesus Christ, and this entails living a life that is pleasing to God as opposed to the flesh. Examining our spiritual life entails avoiding fornication if you are nor married, desisting from committing murder, stealing, and desisting from acts which are against our spirit.

In conclusion, self examination is the most important examination any living being must engage in if we are intentional about moving to the next stage in life.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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