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Adding Value

Adding Value: Understanding Oneself: Foundation to Success by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom” – Socrates

Please permit me to begin this article by asking a simple question. Who are you? By this, I mean what you stand for or represent and not what the world thinks of you. It is instructive to note that what the world thinks of you is your reputation, but your character is who you really are.

If an employer wants to know more about a prospective employee, they can ask an open-ended question such as how would you describe yourself in one sentence? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Have you ever experienced a challenge or problem at work? If yes, how did you handle it? All these questions are structured to inquire more about the personality of the employee.

One of the best things anyone can do in life is not only to understand who they are, but also understand what they represent. It will be hard to know what you represent if you don’t understand who you are. If you don’t understand yourself, it will be difficult to understand other people.

According to Forbes, only 15% of the world are self-aware. One begins to wonder, what about the remaining 85%. As a transformational Human Capacity Coach, my company is focused on helping people unleash their potential. To do this, we use our self-discovery and mindset training manual to know more about them by giving them a set of self awareness questions which they are required to answer to the best of their knowledge. It is rather unfortunate that a lot of people don’t know themselves. They just exist as opposed to living.

Self-discovery is truly lacking in our society. When you truly know yourself, you will know your strengths and weaknesses. When you know yourself, you will know your boundaries as regards what to accept from people and where to draw the lines; you will know your personality traits; you will have a clearer understanding of your career path in your professional life; you will know how to interact with people; you will know your core values; you will have a clearer version of your life purpose; and you will be self-motivated. The list is literally endless.

In the journey of life, we engage in a lot of activities we are not supposed to be engaged in. For example, we study courses we are not wired or love to study, and this makes understanding difficult. Some of us apply for jobs we are not passionate about just to pay bills. Some of us even marry partners we don’t really like due to circumstances. Again, the list is endless. All these can lead to frustration and depression if not properly managed. If only we can take a deep breath and ask ourselves some deep thought-provoking questions on what we really want in life, and the reason we are doing what we are doing, the result will be different.

There are many ways to understand oneself. You can understand yourself by staying silent, reflecting about, and observing your life. These acts will help you to practice self-awareness which will ultimately help you to look inward and enable you to understand your feelings, emotions, and your personality. Self knowledge will enable you to know your values, interests, temperament, life mission, and activities to engage in.

As human beings, one thing we should constantly engage in is learning new things about ourselves on a daily basis. Knowing oneself takes time. However, due to desperation, most people don’t practice the art of stillness. When you take time to understand what’s involved in a particular work, it will be easy to solve it in a more efficient and effective manner. There is a story told of a philosopher, who fell into a ditch in front of him because he was too busy to see what was ahead of him.

Again, let’s take the case of Japan with about one hundred and twenty-five million people, which is one of the most industrialized countries on the planet, yet it maintains a level of calm despite the busy nature of the country.

The benefits of knowing oneself is priceless. It will make you confident which will ultimately eliminate self-doubt. It will help you build better and healthy health relationships by attracting the people you need and eliminating people you don’t need. You will be less stressed because you will focus on what’s important as opposed to irrelevant things which will keep your temperament and mindset in good shape.

Self discovery will help you to know your self-worth because no one will price you cheap when you know your value, and you will feel happier.

Furthermore, self knowledge will help you in decision making. When you know yourself, you will be able to make better choices about everything, from minor decisions to major decisions. Your temperament and personality type will be better managed as a leader or rational being.

Self control: When you know yourself, you will better manage yourself. If you can’t manage yourself, it will be hard to manage other people. When you know yourself, you understand what motivates you to resist bad habits and develop good ones. Knowing your strengths is one of the foundations of self confidence.

Resistance to social pressure. Self knowledge helps you to focus on what’s beneficial to you as opposed to other people. According to Bill Cosby, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone. When you are grounded in your values and preferences, you are less likely to say “yes” when you want to say “no.”

In conclusion, take time and reflect on this question, who am I? This is one of the most important questions you will answer in your entire life. When you answer this question, you have solved 50% of your life challenges. If you can’t answer this question, and need assistance, you can use the email below to reach out for assistance.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Exuding the Aura of Confidence by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Resolve to communicate your confidence to others. After all, the source for this confidence is the divine – Dr. Yomi Garnett.

Confidence is a currency many people don’t literally know. It is attractive, magnetic, compelling and magical. Confidence revolves around knowing who you are; the traits that make you special; the value you provide, and the ability to convey the positive you to others.

Confidence is all about the aura one exudes when they enter a room. Several things, it is worthy of note, give people confidence, and they include money, knowledge, value, connection, influence, skill and even spiritual ability. When there’s confidence, boasting and too much are set aside just as distraction occasioned by the noise outside is rendered impotent.

Self confidence is an offshoot of the overall confidence. While it is a self generated ability to be yourself irrespective of negative signals, it is also a fundamental aspect of our lives that plays a significant role in shaping our actions, decisions, and overall well-being. Self-confidence, as well, is not a fixed trait that some people are born with. It is also generally an acquired trait.

There are several ways to attract confidence, and the first step is knowing yourself. When you know yourself, you will know your strength, weakness, what works for you and what doesn’t work for you.  It’s said that many people don’t know themselves; they just accept life challenges as victims, not knowing that if they had been diligent in focusing on what really matters, they would have done much better. These sets of people are merely existing as opposed to living.

Another way to attract confidence is by being knowledgeable in a subject matter. When you are knowledgeable about a particular field of life, you’ll be highly respected, revered and sought after. You can tell that someone has confidence based on how they speak, their carriage, poise, and how they dress.

When we have confidence in ourselves, we will be more willing to take risks, step outside of our comfort zones, and embrace new opportunities.

With self-confidence, we will become fully aware of our environment, ourselves and become more resilient in the face of adversity. Confidence makes us better equipped to handle setbacks and failures, as this will make us see them as stepping stones to success rather than insurmountable barriers. This resilience enables us to bounce back from challenges and continue moving forward, undeterred by temporary setbacks.

In the academic space, confidence comes with preparation. The lack of preparation for something can make one vulnerable. When you have confidence, you will have a class of your own.

Confidence can come in two ways. It can be internal or external. When it’s internal, one is self inspired and doesn’t need external influence to radiate. External influence can be because of music, human beings, money etc. They determine how resourceful one can be.

External confidence is the image we portray before others and that includes our facial expression, body posture, movements, and stillness. Internal confidence is more powerful than external influence because it doesn’t need any extra factor to operate, but when your confidence is external, it can be manipulated because other variables can determine its influence. It’s better therefore, to have internal confidence than external confidence because internal confidence is self-inspired.

Our external and internal worlds are interconnected. When we feel very strong inside, it makes us feel relaxed outside. And when we are physically comfortable, it also leads to happiness mentally. This is why our external demeanor and comportment can also influence our internal sense of confidence.

The blessings of confidence are priceless. One needs confidence to approach the right people. In whatever positive act a progressive mind engages in life, they must have confidence to strategically execute the task. Whether you are a student, entrepreneur, parent, pastor, teacher, entertainer, athlete, soccer player, and more, one must exhibit a certain level of confidence if one is desiring to make an impact. This also involves risk taking.

Even if a man wants to woo a lady, he must have confidence to approach the lady and speak the right words. Confidence is a skill of the 21st century. In my calculated opinion, confidence is the bedrock and foundation of all social skills because without confidence, one might not have the courage to write, speak or even articulate his thoughts in a convincing manner.

Confidence works with the mind. Our mindset plays a significant role in cultivating self-confidence. For instance, a growth mindset, which is the belief that our abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work, is essential for building confidence.

Perception also works with the mindset. How we perceive ourselves has a direct impact on our confidence levels. If we perceive ourselves as capable and competent, we are more likely to have higher self-confidence. On the other hand, negative self-perception can hinder our confidence.

To improve your confidence level, one must practice self affirmative positive talks, visualize his future and begin to work on the vision. One can also engage in physical exercise to boost both their physique and fitness, not forgetting the art of continuous learning, which helps to boost confidence. Note as well that surrounding yourself with a strong support system is very critical to enhancing your confidence. You can do this by seeking out relationships and communities that uplift and inspire you.

In conclusion, self-confidence is very attractive and contagious because it reflects a deep sense of peace, sureness, and stability. To cultivate self confidence, be mindful of external expressions such as the people you associate with, body language and environment, while also developing your inner virtues such as peace, humility, forgiveness, acceptance, patience, and gratitude.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: You Attract What You Like by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

“Your energy is in your currency. You attract what you are.”

We are all familiar with the saying, your network determines your networth. This is a fact because we attract what we give out. If one gives out love, they will receive love; if one dishes out negative energy and hatred, they are bound to receive negative energy and hatred. Life is literally a computer – garbage in, garbage out. Unfortunately, most people, who want to receive are not willing to give.

Moral: It is the energy and vibe we put out there that the universe gives us in return.

It should be noted that no one gives what they don’t have. If anyone wants to receive money, let him learn to give. Giving does not only entail giving money, but you can also give your time; you can share your food or gift, and assist people and volunteers. All these acts are channels of receiving.

One of the best ways of attracting people into your life is by being intentional and deliberate in what you do, and how you do them. Anybody that wants to be in your life, has a reason. For instance, if you share information about politics, health, academics, empowerment, religion, entertainment among others on social media, the people who love such information will be drawn to you.

Generally, nobody will associate with you just because you are a person; there must be a reason they like you, and want to be associated with you. If they don’t see value or prospects in you, they won’t associate with you. It’s just human nature.

Anybody in your life is there for a reason, and that explains why it’s advisable to be authentic in what you share both on social media and in real life. Whatever you share must reflect what you represent. So, when you fake your true personality, the real people who are suppose to assist or associate with you will be totally detached from you, leaving enough room for fake people, who are supposed to be far from you, to gain access. It is important to note that the algorithm on social media has been customized in such a way that it is what you like and comment on that the algorithm will bring to your attention.

Even with human relationships, one must be intentional on how they engage with people. Isn’t it true therefore that like attracts like. If you like soccer, music, education or fashion, it’s natural that people involved in similar professions will be attracted to your life.

To attract what you really want therefore, you must work or associate with people you like or aspire to be like. For instance, if you want to achieve your goals, then you must think, act and feel like a person who achieves your goals, and this can only work if you have the right mindset and attitude to life.

Again, to attract the right things into your life, one must practice the law of attraction, which basically means your feelings, thoughts and mindset must be in alignment. The impact of our thoughts and feelings has been the reason most people act the way they do. Positive thoughts and feelings attract positive experiences, while negative thoughts and feelings attract negative experiences.

Affirmation helps to attract blessings and opportunities. However, most people don’t know or understand the power of affirmation and how it works. The theory is very simple: if you think you are beautiful, you are beautiful, if you think you can do a particular thing, you can do it. On the other hand, if you think you can’t do it, you won’t be able to do it. It’s what you believe that will come to you.

Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself to help you achieve your goals. They can help you build your self-esteem, in addition to staying motivated in life. Affirmations work like magic. Just say it and believe in it. It will work out for you. If you wish to achieve any goal that is proving difficult, say to yourself, ‘I can achieve success; I will achieve my goals, I will l achieve success’. If you are lacking anything or need something, say, ‘I attract success and abundance into my life’. Affirmations are spiritual powers.

Affirmations work with the spiritual faith. If you believe in a god, deity, idol or inanimate object, they will work for you; if you believe in pills, ministers of God, herbal drinks – they will also work for you. Your belief factor is critical to your success in life.

Affirmations work with the mindset. There was a story about an old woman, who was sick. His son, who is a medical doctor, advised her to take a pill, she refused and requested an injection, but her son advised otherwise saying, a pill will work well for her. The woman said she sees people who normally come to the clinic, and he gives injections and they get better. All efforts to make her take the pill failed.

The son observed that his mother’s health was not getting any better, and he decided to insert water into the syringe and inject his mother. Guess what, in three days time, his mother became hale and hearty.

The moral of this story is that your belief factor is powerful. It’s what we believe that works for us. According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, “resolve to think about the best thoughts, work for them and expect the best results. Again, it is what you believe that will work for you.

In conclusion, your thoughts and mindset are powerful tools in attracting what you like. This is because everything you attract on the outside is a reflection of who you are on the inside.

The question one needs to ask himself therefore, is, what energy am I putting out there?

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Being a Blessing is Good Business by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

It is universally believed that the joy of life does not consist of how happy one is, but how happy others can be because of them.

We live in a society where empathy, genuine love, patience, selfless service, and kindness are lacking. This is simply because most of us have lost our human nature, and as such completely drained of human conscience. We fail to understand that we are blessed to be a blessing to others.

It’s instructive to note that circumstances don’t say who you, they reveal who you are. One of the many ways to identify a real human being is to observe how they spend their time, money, and resources. When you become a blessing, you will use all you have in your possession to bless others. As a mentor, supervisor, manager, parent, employer, teacher or professor, you can counsel the younger generation. This is a clarion call for everyone to please use their position to help those who are beneath your capacity.

The highest form of blessing however, is to show appreciation to your creator, and this is done by blessing other people with your gift and talent. According to Hans Urs von Balthasar, “what you are is God’s gift to you, what you become is your gift to God.” You need to continually ask yourself, what will I do to be a blessing to others?

It is sad to see people who didn’t really believe they will receive fortune and opportunities in life acting like god when they become blessed. They forget their humble beginnings.

Being a blessing to others comes in different ways. You can be a blessing with your service, gift, time, words, resources, and many more. The world is in dire need of kind and selfless people who are authentic in their deeds as opposed to people who are good because of the favours and opportunities they will receive.

Did you know your destiny is tied to many people? This is because when you become a success, many people will begin to identify with you. This is why it is imperative for you to succeed. So anytime you feels like giving up, remember and consider the people who are depending on you.

Doing good is a habit that is not prevalent in contemporary times due to prevailing wickedness in today’s world. In fact, good people are not celebrated in our society. They tend to receive backlash because they are not following the bandwagon. We literally live in a wicked generation!

According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, a celebrated ghost writer, “Do all the good you can by all means you can, in all ways you can, in every place you can, at all times you can, to everyone you can, as long as you can. Count that day lost in which you have not done something good for another person.”

Doing good is not limited to giving someone money. Only myopic see financial assistance as the only means of doing good. We need to kick against the idea of using financial assistance to judge if someone is good or not. Did you know that there are things money cannot buy. For instance, there are people, who can give you loyalty, time, honesty, value among others, which are literally more than money. It’s only ignorant and myopic minds that appreciate money more than loyalty. Note that if the only thing you have is money, you are poor.

The good thing about doing good is that it comes back to you in ways and manners you cannot understand. Whether you are at work, at home, school or public space, show people love and kindness, in any little way you can.

According to a former American President, Benjamin Franklin, whenever you are in a public space, “be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one”.

Moral: Being good costs less unlike being bad which takes a lot of negative energy.

It should be noted as well that you don’t need to have a lot to share with people or act to be good. Just be good because it is good to be good. Most people are good because of a condition or situation that has happened to them. But that shouldn’t be the case. According to Chidimma Kalu, “Don’t treat people as bad as they are, treat them as good as you are.”

There are many blessings that come to one when one becomes a blessing to others. Isn’t it true that givers never lack, and the giver’s hand always remain on top while the receiver’s hand is always below.

There’s a certain kind of joy that comes to one when one decides to show love and favour on someone else. On a personal note, whenever I give, there’s a kind of joy and feeling that always comes to my spirit. In most cases, I feel fulfilled.

Do you know it is a privilege and honour to bless others? When God gives you an opportunity to bless others, please grab it. It’s not right when you detach yourself from blessing others. Always remember what goes around comes around.

Whenever you see yourself in a position to help others, no matter how little it is, please judiciously cease the opportunity. By doing so, you are accumulating more blessings to yourself. But, when you fail to do the needful, the creator of heaven and earth can take you off the position and replace you with another person.

In conclusion, being a blessing to others is a privilege one must be grateful for. It is an opportunity to serve.

So, the question to ask yourself is, how can I be a blessing to someone today?

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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