Dear Destiny Friends,

One of the most unpredictable entitles in life is time. Yes, time is very unpredictable if considering its true essence.

Did you know that time heals? No matter what may have happened during one’s lifetime, the pain, no matter how great, will fizzle out with time, and life will move on. However, one’s strength and capacity for endurance will also be tested. Have you ever lost a loved one and think you will cry forever? Well, a time will come when you will completely adjust, and only miss the person when certain realities set in.

Has anyone offended you, and you think you can’t forgive? Well, if the principle of time heals and reveals, are applied, it will get to a stage, where they would automatically heal, and move on, especially in matters of the heart and relationship.

Have you also ever been betrayed? If yes, just give it little time because at the appointed time, the truth will be unraveled because time will definitely reveal itself. According to a sage, no matter how long it may take, the truth will always triumph over lie because truth is an open wound which only conscience can heal.

Why am I saying this? I have come to realize that in the journey of life, nothing lasts forever. While some people feel they have it together, they fail to understand that what they have is temporary because even their life is not guaranteed. According to Dr. Dele Momodu, an accomplished journalist, “the child of a certified pauper can become a man of means tomorrow if properly educated”.

Life has a way of humbling and elevating people, that’s why it’s always good for one to be humble before life humbles them. I once had a conversation with one of my revered mentors whom I call the sage. He shared a lesson which I won’t forget in a jiffy. We attended a burial ceremony, and I observed that the family members of the deceased were mourning bitterly. He said, “Henry, do you know why the family members are weeping profusely? I said it’s because they lost a loved one who might be the breadwinner of the family, the peacemaker or even the most resourceful person with the touch of favor and grace to get anything done.

He said, all my reasons were valid, but one thing is certain, the person won’t be replaced again because there’s no one like him and there will never be anyone like him. He went further to say, the only solace the family and friends will have is the legacy and impact he has made in the lives of those he touched.

I paused for a minute to think about what he had just said, and it was only then that it occurred to me that a vacuum had been created. While I was pondering over what he said, he dropped another bomb. He said, ‘Henry, did you see that man lying lifeless on the ground?’ I said, ‘yes sir’. He said, ‘do you know what that means?’ I said no. He said, the dead man is saying, ‘I am here today and you will be here tomorrow’. In all honesty and sincerity, those words hit me real hard. My mentor went on to say, what the dead man is actually saying is that as you leave this place today, go and make peace with everyone, but more importantly make an impact in the lives of people.

While I was still processing what my mentor said, he added, let me tell you while I invited you to attend this burial. He said, everyone who attended this funeral will move on after the burial ceremony, and what will be left of the deceased is a memory. You see, regardless of the ovation he accrued when he was alive, everything will be history. That statement  really hit me hard, and that’s so true because life will always move on regardless of what happens, so it makes no sense for one to try to impress someone. Just do the best you can and then move on. The moral here is that nobody is indispensable no matter how good they are.

When we juxtapose this with the reality of life, we’ll realize that life is very simple, it’s us humans that make it difficult. Did you know that no matter how rich, valuable, resourceful, wealthy or famous one is, when the person is no longer available, they might not really be missed that much, because people will move on to the next person within a short period of time.

Let’s take a case study of a celebrity, who shares an update online. The post might trend for sometime and after a while the ovation will cease, and people will move to the next breaking news or update. The same is applicable to a tweet or post someone makes on social media. The post might gain some traction, but after a few hours or days, the story will be over. People will move on to the next post. Such is life.

The hidden truth about life is that life will move regardless of how one plans it. People will move on, companies will move on, parents, friends, siblings, and even detractors will move on to the next target. So, it makes no sense for one to try to please everyone.

According to Elbert Hubbard, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” This literally means human beings are insatiable by nature; you can’t please them.

So, as one journeys through life, it’s always important for one to figure out what’s relevant and what’s not relevant and then decide what is the best use for your time at any point in time.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

The ability to speak the ‘language’ people understand is a very important skill, and whoever masters it, has gained a profitable advantage. The ability therefore, to strategically use language can be a game changer in life and business. In all honesty, anyone, who can relate to the act of speaking languages people understand, stands a better chance of attracting more opportunities. Language is a skill; the more the skill a person has, the more resourceful they will be.

Every business, politics, game, religion, relationship/marriage, and art have a language. Even a little child has a language. One must be able to speak the language of that child to work with the child. The ability of one to use it very well can be a game changer.

There’s no field or subject in life that is not governed by its own language. The language is the code or key, which when rightly used or applied, any door opens.

Let’s take a case study of marriage; the truth is there’s no perfect marriage anywhere, the love the couples claim to share notwithstanding. There will come a day when either one of them will lose it, and the hormones will flare up. The ability of one of the couples to speak the language the other person understands can calm the nerves of the other. The inability of one to speak the right language can make things go out of hand.

Certain things work for certain people. Everyone is different and unique; what works for someone might not work for another person. So, the ability to know what works for someone and judiciously use it has the potential of opening doors and opportunity because, according to my late mother, human beings are the most difficult people to work with.

In business, if one is seeking a grant or opportunity from an investor, one must be able to speak or convey his thought in an appealing way in such a way the investor will find it attractive. And that entails putting down certain information that is needed for a proposal to receive a positive recommendation. This is not about trying to fake life, rather, it’s a strategic and wise way of showing how informed and proactive one can be.

Let’s take a case study of human attraction. For any man to successfully woo a lady, he must speak or act in a certain way that the lady finds appealing, and that entails having a good dress sense, having the fear of God, being financially and professionally stable, showing care and empathy, amongst other  qualities. The same is applicable to a woman who wants to attract a man, she must be able to ‘speak’ the man’s language.

In politics, the language is loyalty. It’s only an ungrateful master who wouldn’t want to appreciate a loyal servant who has served him faithfully when an opportunity arises.

The importance of language in life cannot be overemphasized. When it comes to spirituality, certain offerings work for certain gods, or God. To benefit from your altar, one must speak the language of their god/God. For instance, those who offer sacrifice to fake deities must continually offer sacrifice in order for their “powers” to be renewed. The same is applicable to those who believe in the one true God, one must continually abstain from immorality and vices in order to receive blessings from Him.

In summary, if you want to succeed in life, endeavour to find out what language works for anyone or any industry. And when it is found, and worked on, the doors must surely open.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Wealth is of the mind, and not necessarily the amount of money in one’s pocket or in the bank. It takes a great mind to know that if the only thing one has is money, that person is poor because at a stage in life, money may not play any role. It is worth noting that for one to pay for everything they need in life, it’s either they are poor, or you haven’t invested in anyone.

It’s always good therefore, to live for humanity. Life is not about ‘me’, but about humanity. When you consider other people, life works out for you. This is a timeless principle I have adopted overtime, especially when I see a progressive mind who is hungry to learn.

One of the reasons most people are poor is simply because they have the wrong mindset, ideology and information. It’s instructive to know that when you learn well, you stand a better chance of earning well because the more you know, the more you get paid. Nobody pays anyone what they desire, but what they deserve.

Let me explain a little; a poor mind will think a rich man is wasting money by paying triple for a three-bedroom apartment in a porsche neighborhood while a rich mind will think he’s paying for security, and peace of mind.

Again, a poor mind will think a rich man is being extravagant when he buys a luxury perfume or watch when he can buy a decent perfume which ordinarily will perform the same service, but a wealthy mind knows that in the real world, life is governed by perception. According to Dr. Joe Abah, “as a man, there are three things you shouldn’t compromise: solid watch, good shoes and nice perfume”. He further went on to state you can be as casual as you like but once those three things are present, you don’t need to tell anyone you are decently comfortable.

Do you see that life is not about how much you have, but how you manage what you have, but more importantly, how you people perceive you. Some people might have money, but they will find it difficult to invest in their outlook by buying decent clothes, perfumes, shoes and watches.

Another great source of wealth is information. Like I always say, information is power. If you are not informed, you are ill-informed, and once you are ill-informed, you can’t perform because information leads to reformation and transformation. So, it’s fair to say information leads to formation. You are a product of what you know.

It’s sad that many people don’t take time to invest in themselves by buying books of interest, paying for certification courses to enhance their knowledge, or even volunteering their time to intern to learn how great or successful people think.

When rich minds invest their minds to seek knowledge to gain information and knowledge which will set them apart from their contemporaries, they tend to gain access to opportunities in which they can earn decent money,  entitled minds will begin to beg for money. That’s poverty mindset.

It should be noted, nobody owes you anything, most people worked hard to get to where they are today. They didn’t succeed because they looked nice, or luck favored them. Yes, those might be contributory factors, but the sacrosanct truth remains that, in civilized climes, they did the work, after all, luck is opportunity meeting preparation. If they were not prepared, the opportunity would have slipped by, and they would not have succeeded.

When we talk of wealth, it doesn’t only relate to money, wealth can also relate to how one thinks, speaks, acts, and prays. All these play critical roles in defining a human being. According to the Bible in Proverbs 17: 28, “Even a fool is considered wise if he keeps silent, and discerning when he holds his tongue”. So if you are unsure about something, it is better to keep quiet because when you open your mouth, you tell the world who you are. So, when you meet a great mind, be careful how you engage them. That’s why it’s generally stated that it takes a minute for a great man to know if he likes someone who is seeking an opportunity. These great minds have six sense perception. They have the discerning minds to see through your mind.

There was a story I recently read from Dr. Femi Otedola’s book, “Making it Big”. The story is that of a young man who was trying to strike a deal with the business mogul. He came in an inferior car and was looking for a multi-million naira contract, Dr. Femi Otedola, being a shrewd businessman, evaluated the man and priced the him low, forcing him to grudgingly accept.

When the contact was sealed and the young man was about to leave, Dr. Femi called him back and asked him, do you know I priced you low? The man said no. Dr. Otedola said, it doesn’t make business sense to come with a cheap car to seek a multi-million business contract. What that really means is that you ought to dress the way you want to appear. Mr. Otedola, went on to inform him that in life, especially in business, perception rules.

Did you see it would have been better for the man to come in a decent car even though it doesn’t belong to him because he wouldn’t have been prized low. As a matter of fact, his value would have been elevated. The car opened a lot of canker worms about his mindset. Did you see that this statement corroborates with what the Bible stated in Proverbs 17:28.

The power of the mind can’t be overemphasized. Mindset cuts across every corner of our life. My late dad used to own a hospital with his brother, the motto of the hospital was “we care, but God cures”. That to me was very inspiring to know that doctors and nurses were limited in their thought process.

Furthermore, I once visited a general hospital in my hometown in Nigeria, each time I visited the hospital to see a patient, I discovered there’s always a gospel song in the background with a melodic soothing message to comfort everyone. In all honesty, even if one has given up hope of recovering, the song is capable of restoring hope. Again, that’s the power of the mind.

The moral here is that the mind controls everything. Napoleon Hill stated in his famous book, “Think and Grow Rich”, that “whatsoever the mind can conceive, believe, it can achieve it’.

In conclusion, if you want to be wealthy, please consider working on your mindset because that’s where everything, including success and failure start and end.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com