Adding Value
Adding Value: Understanding a Woman by Henry Ukazu
Published
3 years agoon
By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
As a Human Capacity and Mindset Coach, one of my services is centered on counseling. I also mentor youths and career professionals on academics and relationships.
Let me make a full disclosure here, I’m not a relationship or marriage counselor, but the nature of my work makes me appear as one due to my numerous videos and engagement with people. However, it is pertinent to note that, as a self-discovery coach, I try to relate with people to understand their pains to assist them in resolving their problems. I do with my self-discovery manual.
It’s instructive to note that in school, workplaces, churches, social gatherings, and homes, we are thought different skills, ethics, life training, and teachings, but we are not thought the school of understanding life, we learn the school of life in the streets while relating with human beings.
It is often said one of the most difficult people to understand is women. In fact, some people say women are the most complicated people on planet earth. According to some scholars, there are three people who cannot advise, a rich man, a religious bigot, and a woman in love. This is because the more you try to understand them, the more you get confused. That leaves us with the question, can one understand a woman? Personally, I will say yes and no. Yes, because if she lets you understand her and even at that it is what she wants you to understand. No, because you can never understand a woman.
The truth is, however, that once you understand a few core tenets of female psychology, women become easier than ever to understand.
Understanding a human being and life is one of the hardest if not the hardest things in the world. It’s just like understanding the psychology of money and blessings. Money, blessings, and opportunities can come in “mysterious”. Some schools of thought opine blessings are spiritual because succeeding in life takes more than being hardworking. An element of God factor, luck, preparation, smartness, networking, etc. play a role. This opportunity comes in ways and manners we cannot comprehend sometimes.
Above all, it is easier to understand life and a man than to understand a woman. This is because, in social relationships, men often seem “stupid” to women, and why women seem “crazy” to men because women don’t seem to understand why a man will have a beautiful, smart, loyal, classy, and submissive girlfriend/wife and he’ll still cheat with a good for nothing lady, while men will always wonder why a lady will fall in love with a guy/man who is not handsome, or a mechanic with no formal education or even someone who is a 5feet and 2 inches tall compared to a handsome, intelligent and tall guy. One begins to wonder what the lady saw in the guy. Well, it could be how he talks, how she feels, or even just his smile. Indeed, women need to be understudied.
Generally, you cannot understand a woman because the more you look, the less you see. Women are such interesting and wonderful creatures. According to Beyoncé in one of the tracks “Run the world”, she asked who runs the world? Women of course. Underate them at your peril. Even in marriage, while men are generally the head, women are the neck.
To show how complicated women are, there was a story about a man who wants to travel to Hawaii, he asked God to build a bridge to fly through. God smiled at him and told him you know it’s not possible. God asked him to make another request, the man said, he has been four times and all the women left him and he would like to know why they left him and how to understand a woman, God smiled and asked him, how many bridges do you want? I guess you get the joke.
That said, the question needs to be asked how one understands a woman? I will be sharing some tips which are not exhaustive, but they are guidelines to understand a woman.
Just like the most powerful part of our human body is our brain because it controls all our thoughts and actions, that’s how a woman works. Imagine opening the brain, you’ll get to see how the veins and arteries are connected. That’s just to give you a glimpse of how a woman is composed. You can never understand her sensing capability, her level of intuition, her feelings, her thinking faculty, how she judges, perceives, and interprets information. Women are indeed wonderful!
However, women are the most interesting people if they show you love. For instance, if a woman decides to support you, she will go all out for you, but if they decide to fight you, please appeal to God for forgiveness and intervention because her anger can go over and beyond. Just to put things in perspective, never allow your wife to buy any property in the house before getting married, because if you do, the day she’s angry she’ll take all the properties. If you doubt, wait until you get married, and you’ll understand.
If I may ask, what do women really want? This is a question many sage, philosophers, and wise men have been battling to unravel for ages but have not been able to answer. To assist them I unravel this ancient question; I have been able to put little guidelines to understand a woman
On a cursory note, women want a man who is confident, and who embodies “alpha male energy.” Women are attracted to confidence, purpose, and direction in a man. Women will see with their eyes if you are confident, they won’t ask. The question now becomes, how does she know if that’s you? Well, she will test without you knowing. If you pass, she will reward you with all of her love. If you don’t? She will lose all attraction for you. Women love to be protected because sometimes they can be anxious and are more prone to anxiety.
Listen to her: The first step in understanding a woman is to listen to her. Paying attention to her words, actions and body language is the gateway to her heart. Take time to observe her. Whether she’s an acquaintance, a family member, or a romantic partner, if you take time to talk to a woman and really listen to what she has to say, you’ll soon have a clearer grasp of who she is and what makes her tick. While men communicate with words because they are logical and deal with facts, women communicate with their body language because they are emotional in nature. When you listen to a woman, you’ll see through her emotional side, but remember, she must give you the permission to understand her by opening to you. Trust me 95% of understanding a woman can be avoided when you understand this simple fact: women care about feelings, men care about facts.
Compliment her: You must show interest in what a woman likes. You can do this by complimenting her looks. Women love to be admired and appreciated. When you show interest in what a woman likes, it gives her a sense of belonging. Show interest in what she likes by tuning into what she’s thinking, feeling, and experiencing. This is called empathy, social skills, or “game” for lack of a better term.
Nurture & Pet her: Women love to be taken care of and hence they are considered the weaker sex. Women, by nature, are nurturers while men are hunters. Women loved to be pampered. Just like men are givers, women are receivers. Trust me, if a man is not giving you, he’s giving somebody. Even if a woman has money, she still loves it when a man gives her money.
Don’t Assume: Avoid making assumptions about a woman. Every woman is literally different. every woman is different. As a rule of thumb, when in doubt. Ask questions. This helps for clarity You can ask questions about her belief, feelings, and thoughts. One of the best ways to get to know and understand any person is to talk to them. For instance, you can ask her, why did you go into this profession?
In summary, I think the best way to understand a woman is to act like you don’t understand her. In that way, you’ll see her weird, quirky, and real personality.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Bring Out the Genius in You by Henry Ukazu
Published
5 days agoon
April 13, 2025By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
Sometimes, we don’t know the potentials and power we carry within us. This is because we have not had the opportunity to thrive in the right atmosphere. But given every equal opportunity, every person is a potential achiever because we don’t have dull brains, only undeveloped brains. You are a genius; I am a genius, but only the one who utilizes his available opportunity, brings out the genius in him.
There is no doubt some environments are conducive for opportunities and business to thrive; however, it is instructive to note that there’s no perfect time and place for a determined mind to thrive. Isn’t it true that no matter how hard the waves and torrents hit the ship, the ship will always find a way to thrive.
Life will not always be perfect; we just have to do our best in any place, and time we find ourselves, with what we have and where we are. Whichever way one looks at it, done is always better than perfect, especially when perfect is not done.
Sometimes, uninformed minds think some people have more opportunities than others. They fail to realize that while some are born great, some achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them, while some others put in the hard work.
On a personal note, in all honesty, my level of smartness is that of an average man, who is intentionally working a little bit harder. Sometimes I must read repeatedly just to get a basic understanding of a piece of work, and when I understand it, some people will think I am smart. When you compare the scene with one with an ingenious mind, you’ll discover the difference is clear.
Let’s take a practical case of my writing skills. Ordinarily, someone will think I’m very intelligent publishing articles every week, however what they won’t understand that it takes determination, persistence and most importantly the grace of God for me to do what I do every week. Some people might have more understanding than me, but they lack the grace of God to be consistent. The moral here is that regardless of what you supposedly think you have or know, one has to be humble about life otherwise life will humble you.
Everyone of us has a genius inside of them waiting to be unleashed. The genius in you won’t pop out unless you challenge it by leaving your comfort zone. Most of the people the world celebrates didn’t just become extraordinary; they had to put in the work which can entail strategic and intentional working, constant reading and researching just to add value to their work, exploring opportunities, failing and trying again, taking risks, etc. Trust me, the list is endless.
It is generally said great men are people who do ordinary things in an extraordinary manner. These sets of great minds can be very detailed in their thought process and approach to life. They do know that any opportunity not properly handled can affect all the work they have built overtime.
Let me share a practical example, imagine building a house on a faulty foundation, it won’t take long for the house to crash. Then contrast it with building a house on a solid foundation where original structures and equipment where used, one can confidently sleep quietly knowing fully well the right things has been done.
Imagine a contractor who is considered a genius used a substandard product for reasons best known to him to build a house or construct a road, and imagine a second-class contractor builds the same house or construct the same road with the right products. If an examination is done on both work and the examiner determines that the genius contractors work is faulty, while the second-class contractors work is good, who do you think will be considered a genius contractor? Of course, the second-class contractor simply because his work lasted overtime.
That’s exactly how extraordinary people succeed. They are very thorough in their work. They do ordinary things in an uncommon manner. They know a single mistake can destroy all their hard work Realizing that little things can mean a lot. They don’t take chances and take nothing for granted.
In the same way, if one is privileged to meet great people or have access to great minds who have distinguished themselves, it will be unwise to beg them for money, rather seek for ways to learn from them by adding value to their life. If one can cultivate and nurture the relationship very well, the tendency for the person to thrive will be high and if the opportunity comes and one utilizes it, the world might think the person is lucky or blessed, some might even attribute it to their location or the role of mentors in the person’s life.
They might contribute to some extent, however, they won’t see the big picture which can be the process, skill and most importantly the ingenious strategic work the person put in place to attract the opportunity.
It should be noted, no serious mentor will recommend somebody for opportunity based on mediocrity. One must be competent in addition to doing the needful to show competency.
If we are honest to ourselves, we all have made one mistake or the other that if properly managed would have given us greater opportunity. I can vividly remember meeting the Miss universe in 2014 in Washington during President Obama’s administration. This lady sits on the board of Warren Buffet and has access to other world leaders. At one point in time, our discussion was centered on how we will travel to Nigeria for a business meeting with the former President of Nigeria (President Olusegun Obasanjo).
We had a couple of meetings with some of her mentees and colleagues in Columbia University. In all honesty and sincerity, I had access to privileged information. Quite unfortunately, I couldn’t manage the relationship very well and it slipped off my hand. Imagine, if I had managed the friendship, who knows where I would have been now, the genius in me would have blossomed. Lessons learned.
The moral here is that we are all geniuses as opposed to what is peddled out there. The only difference is how we package and present ourselves. If you package yourself as a hungry man, the genius in you will not manifest. If you present yourself as an ambitious, disciplined and intentional man, the universe will connect more with you, and when all people see your accomplishments, they will regard you as a genius.
In conclusion, as you step out to live your life, endeavour to figure out the genius in you. Figure out what makes you unique, what makes you stand out and what makes you attractive. When you figure it out, the world will celebrate the genius in you.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: The Need to Define Yourself by Henry Ukazu
Published
2 weeks agoon
April 5, 2025By
Eric
Greetings Destiny Friends,
Defining oneself is one of the most difficult things to do. As human beings sometimes we find it difficult to express who we are, or what we represent. This is because several things battle for our time, alignment and intention.
As a human being, if you are asked who you are, what will be your response? Some will say I am a lawyer, doctor, entrepreneur, artist, author, teacher, professor, sociologist, leader, engineer and more. The list is endless. But the big question is who you really are. It’s important to note that what you are is God’s gift to you, and what you become is your gift to God.
It’s also worthy of note that as human beings, we do evolve. Growing up as a child, we all have different dreams and aspirations, when we enroll into high schools, and colleges, we have different interests where we align, or what we would like to be associated with. But our outlook and preference for life seems to change when we begin our career path or after a few years working in different fields of life.
If I may ask, what changed our mindset and desires? Well, it can be as a result of variable social, economic, religious or political factors which spur our interest due to policy change or personal interests.
We live in a society where people decide on what they want to do with their lives. While some are intentional, others just live free by taking the day as they come.
However, one thing is certain; something must define a man, and that is what the world will use to judge them. For instance, I have a legal background, but one can hardly know unless one searches me on google or looks through my social media platforms. If one is to judge on what I post on social media platforms or my works, one will confidently say, I am either a Life Coach or Human Capacity Development expert. This is simply because that’s what I post often and speak on. But more importantly, that’s what I want the world to remember me for, as a legacy.
When it comes to defining oneself, it’s imperative for one to be extremely careful because anything can define one either negatively or positively. For instance, if one is a leader, and he is accused of rape, sexual harassment or murder, which are heinous crimes; that, can define one’s leadership. Again, if one joins a particular group, association or organization, that person can be defined based on the doctrine of that group because it shows one’s interest in believing in their ideology.
Furthermore, if one is serious about moving on to the next stage of life, one must be able to define his or her career path by avoiding unnecessary distractions which might not align according to his path at the said point in time. And this can take several shapes. For instance, one can desire to take two to five years depending on their plans to build a profile, business, or academic background, and this will entail being focused.
It’s important to note that it’s either one stand for something, or he stand for nothing. Regardless of where one’s position aligns at any point in time, it’s always good to define his position. Those who find it difficult to define their position at any point in time runs the risk of losing focus
Defining what one wants is very critical in any endeavour. In fact, it is the foundation of any worthwhile project. If someone decides to start a family, they must be intentional on the partner to bring into their life, and this can be done by defining the kind of man or lady the person desires. Before one starts a business, he must define the vision, mission, and nature of the business. Before an employer hires an employee, he must define the kind of person he wants, and their roles. If one wants to work, the person must be strategic in choosing his job description to suit hiw he wants to be addressed. All these have a simple message; interest and desire.
There’s no doubt, defining one’s position can be difficult, especially when several interests are at play. It’s usually easy to characterize, tag or define someone based on a single act. Ordinarily, this shouldn’t be the case, because a single act is not generally capable of defining anyone. However, if it becomes a pattern, it can then be said that there’s a tendency of committing such acts as a way of life.
Just as many attributes, qualities or characteristics define a person, the combination of reputation, personality and characterization make him stand out. A person’s reputation is what people generally think about, his personality represents him while his character is true nature.
According to Yomi Garnett, a prolific ghost writer and author, “Your reputation is what everyone thinks you are. Your personality is what you seem to be and your character is what you really are”.
Take a moment to ask yourself, and answer these questions. Who am I? What will I want the world to remember me for? What do I represent? These questions are structured to make you think out of the box. Many uninformed minds are being tossed by the wind because they can’t stand for a particular position, and this a sad development. This set of people are usually swayed by material or societal influence. These acts are usually at play in political spaces where loyalty and alignment are usually at play.
Only strong minds can say no opportunities which don’t align to their beliefs, interests and passions to the causes they believe in.
In conclusion, as you forge ahead in life, take a deep breath to determine and define who you are, and work towards it because at the end of the day, if you don’t define yourself, the world will define you. Also remember that if you don’t talk about yourself, people will talk about you as it suits them; if you don’t write about yourself, people will write about you, and if you don’t speak up for yourself, it might be difficult for people to speak up for you.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value: The Power of Position Affirmation by Henry Ukazu
Published
3 weeks agoon
March 29, 2025By
Eric
Greetings Destiny Friends,
One of the best things that can happen to anyone is to believe in themselves. Often, we don’t see the value and potential we have due to several factors including detractors’ utterances, disbelief in oneself or even past mistakes. Sometimes, we want other people to believe in us before we can believe in ourselves. Ordinarily, this shouldn’t be so.
If one is desirous of stepping up their game, one must understand how to use affirmations. Affirmations are powerful. And more powerful when they are positive. When you affirm to yourself, the universe has a way of affirming your thoughts, imaginations and words. However, it should be noted that affirmations are not about stating what you want, one must also work towards the affirmations, and believe the universe will align with you. One can practice affirmations by either writing it down or speaking it into existence.
Affirmations can be spiritual; they work like faith. If you don’t have faith, affirmations won’t work. You can attract opportunities, blessings, and favors from people when one affirms right. When people see your faith in action, they will generally feel the impulse to support your convictions.
Regardless of whatever situation one may be experiencing, it’s always good for one to feel good about oneself. It’s easy for one to feel discouraged, frustrated and depressed when the lines are not adding up, however, one can change the narrative by affirming to oneself, I expect my every need to be met; I expect the answer to every problem; I expect abundance; I will not lack; I will be great, I will attract blessings, favors, opportunities, etc. All these positive words are meant to trigger us to always think positive thoughts about our life regardless of our situations or what we are experiencing.
As human beings, sometimes, we don’t know the power we have. We tend to give other people power over us. In some cases, we want the world to give us opportunities or platforms to thrive, we fail to understand we are the platform we are seeking. For instance, sometimes we look for big companies, organization to showcase our work or give us opportunities to thrive, and when they fail, we become demoralized. However, if we can look into ourselves, we will realize in this age of technology we can showcase our work and when our supposed idols and organization see our work, they will rate us and give us potential opportunities.
It’s sad to see people begging for platforms to showcase their work. Sometimes they go extra to seek for roles and opportunities as interns or volunteers just to get an opportunity to have their name on their resume. They don’t know they can use the internet to showcase what they have. It’s instructive to note that when you showcase what you have, the platforms you are looking for, will begin to look for you. And when you showcase what you have, speak into it and affirmatively believe it.
This is how affirmation works. When you showcase your work, say I believe my work will thrive, I will get recommendations, my work will attract attention, my business will not fail, my articles will go viral etc. Trust me, when you do this, the people and organizations you are looking for, will start to look for you. As a seasoned creative writer, each week I publish articles, before I send my article to my editor, I do say a word of prayer over my work and trust me, the grace to write and succeed has truly been felt from my tribe. I say this because I do get positive feedback almost on a weekly basis. creative.
Let me share personal experience with you, I have been blogging for quite a while before big media platforms began to give me recognition and opportunity to publish my articles on their media platforms. I believe some of them saw my little effort before they gave me an opportunity.
On a personal note, I have practiced affirmations, and it has worked for me. Let me share a practical example, when I was studying taxation law as a graduate student in New York Law School, I remember when a friend of mine asked me a question, Henry, if your exam is tomorrow, how do you feel you will perform? In all honesty and sincerity, I do know if my professor is kind to me, I will score a C or D, but I told her, I will score an A or B the least. You will be surprised to know, I scored an A- and B+ during that semester. That’s the power of positive affirmation. T
There’s another scenario where I shared on Facebook, I would like Mr. Peter Obi a former Governor in Nigeria, who was aspiring to be the President of Nigeria. In three months, the universe connected me to him, and the most interesting thing about our meeting was that he gave me his number and advised me to keep in touch.
In conclusion, in your search for validation and opportunity, endeavour to practice affirmation, and see it work like wonder in your life.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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