Greetings Destiny Friends,

Nobody who is immune to stress. It’s a phenomenon that affects everyone. While some work perfectly under stress, some are allergic to stress. It is a component of life everyone will have to deal irrespective of status or circumstance. It can’t be avoided. I personally equate stress like ladies; it is the “necessary evil” one can’t avoid.

According to the American Institute of Stress, job stress costs U.S. businesses over $300 billion annually due to absenteeism, reduced productivity, medical bills, and employee turnover. Beyond the numbers are real people, who otherwise are talented and capable, but running empty.

Psychologists define stress as the gap between demand and capacity.
When life’s demands exceed your internal capacity, stress multiplies. And prolonged stress leads to burnout, which is an emotional and psychological collapse characterized by fatigue, cynicism, and reduced performance.

But stress itself is not inherently harmful. In fact, manageable levels of stress can sharpen focus, strengthen problem-solving, and increase motivation. What destroys us is chronic, unmanaged stress, the kind that slowly kills focus, health, and happiness.

The American Psychological Association warns that chronic stress weakens immunity, disturbs sleep cycles, raises blood pressure, disrupts hormones, and accelerates aging. In the emotional realm, it heightens irritability, confusion, forgetfulness, and reactivity.

Stress comes to us in different ways, it can come from work, school, family, personal, spiritual or even psychological. This stress can come either directly or indirectly.

Stress is not as bad as people perceive it to be. We all experience stress, but the ultimate difference is how we process and manage it. Stress can be positive or negative. When stress is positive, it prepares one for the future, but when it is negative, it affects one’s mental health and drains one.

When we talk of stress of success, in literal terms, it means the process and the associated journey of failures, disappointments, betrayals, challenges, setbacks, frustrations, etc. that one must undergo to succeed. Most times, some people just think it is easier to succeed just because one has a good product or service, life doesn’t really work that way, sometimes, one might do all he/she is supposed to do and still fail.

From personal experience, I have literally failed more than I have succeeded. Most times, people just see one result of success and don’t see hundreds of rejections and failures. Well, is it true that nobody rewards effort, rather people rewards results.

Before anyone attains a particular level of success, the person must have done a lot of work; sometimes, it will pay off, sometimes, it will serve as a learning tool or experience. In all, one will have to undergo stress.

As an author of three books, I know what it means to research and write enriching information that can shape the lives of people. The stress is not for the light mind. As a matter of fact, the stress of publishing a book is no joke. If one is not detailed and patient enough, one might lose their mind.

Also, as a business owner, I know what it means to manage people and resources. My late mother will always say human beings are the most difficult people to manage. Human beings can be stressful to relate with, sometimes, one will have to imagine they are reasoning like normal human beings, or they need some form of support.

As an author and business owner, I understood quite early the importance of human relationships and networking. I know fully well, one can’t do it alone, and as such, one need people to succeed. That singular knowledge and insight made me invest, build and nurture a solid relationship which has grown over a period.

When most people see me and the impacts of my work, some think I’m lucky, blessed or have access to the rich and mighty, but what they fail understand how many times I have failed, neither also will they understand how much I have invested  in the relationship either through their family, family, advisors, assistants, or domestic staff.

I recently shared a post on social media where I informed my tribe about a statement from one of my most revered mentors. He said to me, “Henry, you give to us, more than we give to you”. What that statement entails in a lay man’s knowledge is that I have stressed myself both financially and morally for their benefit. You can imagine if tomorrow one of them decides to stretch his hand to give me an opportunity either as a referral or appointment, someone will think, I’m lucky, but they won’t know I have stressed and invested so much in building my self to get that opportunity.

The big question now is, how does one  manage the stress of life?

Managing stress requires practical and intentional effort. Some strategies include:

1. Emotional Self-Awareness

Emotional regulation starts with recognition. Naming what you feel, whether it’s anger, sadness, frustration or fear, restores your control. Psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel calls this the “name it to tame it” principle.

2. Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect. Boundaries define what you can allow without breaking yourself. You cannot pour from an empty vessel, and you cannot be available to everyone without eventually losing yourself. Boundaries safeguard your energy and preserve your emotional balance.

3. Intentional Rest

Rest is a strategy that is as important as work itself. Burnout rarely comes from working too hard; it comes from working too long without recovery.

4. Monitor What You Consume

Your emotional diet shapes your mental state. Toxic conversations, constant bad news, cynical media, and negative environments trigger anxiety and fear. On the other hand, a steady diet of inspiration, learning, uplifting conversations, and emotional support strengthens resilience.

5. Seek Support Early

There’s nothing wrong in seeking professional help when you feel overwhelmed. In fact, talking with a professional or a trusted figure is a courageous acknowledgment that the mind deserves care. Even therapists sometimes have their own therapists.

Taking Control of Your Emotions

One of the greatest marks of emotional maturity is understanding that your emotions are yours to govern. This principle of emotional responsibility is common in psychology and spiritual disciplines.

Too often, people allow other people’s actions to dictate their emotions and attitude to life. Someone’s rudeness, delay or negativity may ruin their day. But emotional stability begins when you reclaim the remote control of your inner life. As Eleanor Roosevelt rightly observed, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Weed Out Worry

Worry is one of the subtle ways we harm ourselves emotionally. It may seem like we’re being responsible, like we’re “thinking things through,” but in reality, worry saps the very energy we need to handle life.

When worry becomes a habit, it slowly affects every part of one’s life. It increases anxiety and makes it harder to focus. It twists our view of reality and exaggerates problems, making small issues feel overwhelming. Most of all, worry steals joy from the present moment. Your body may be here, but your mind is drowned in tomorrow’s fears or yesterday’s regrets.

Jesus asked a powerful question: “Which of you by worrying can add one cubit unto his stature?” (Matthew 6:27). In other words, what has worry ever improved? Modern psychology agrees with this wisdom. Studies show that constant worrying keeps the brain in a state of alarm, raising stress levels and shutting down clear thinking. Instead of helping you solve problems, worry makes you feel stuck and powerless.

A helpful way to think about worry is to see it as mental garbage. Just as cities must clear rubbish daily to remain healthy, the mind also needs regular clearing. When fears, negative thoughts, and imagined disasters pile up in our minds, they destroy our peace and willpower.

Let me suggest this. At the end of each day, imagine placing your worries into an “inner trash can.” Picture yourself letting go of unfinished tasks, painful thoughts, and fears about tomorrow. You are not ignoring them; you are choosing rest. Research shows that this kind of intentional mental release calms the brain and reduces stress.

Conquer Anxiety with Faith and Inner Stability

Anxiety is your mind worrying about what might happen, and your body reacting as if it’s happening right now.  It can come from loss, grief, money problems, broken relationships, loneliness, or painful experiences. But anxiety also grows strongest where faith is weak or missing. As Dr. Yomi Garnett once said, “When faith ends, anxiety begins.”

Interestingly, psychology supports this idea. Many mental health approaches agree that what we believe affects how we feel. Our thoughts influence our emotions. The way we explain events to ourselves affects our stress levels. Faith offers a healthier way to interpret life; it replaces hopelessness with expectation and fear with trust.

In summary, the earlier we learn to manage stress, the better we’ll succeed in life.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

This is the continuation, and concluding part of last week’s article on The Six Pillars of Success.

Success is something everyone desires. Success is not only endearing, but also nourishing to the heart. It is important to note that there’s something about success which can’t be explained; it just hits differently, especially when one truly earns it.

One of the good things about success is the fulfillment one gets after achieving it. Fulfilment can’t be bought. No matter the level of success one has attained in life, if one has not experienced fulfilment, then success is not complete.

Last week, we discussed the three pillars which I called the foundational pillars of success apart from Spirituality which I strongly believe is the foundational pillar of success because all pillars rest on it.

A recap of last week’s article. On pillar one, we x-rayed the importance of discovering one’s purpose and how it helps in the personal growth of a progressive mind. On pillar two, we discussed the importance and relativity of career and vocational excellence as a tool the world will use to evaluate the tap root of success. Finally, we concluded by highlighting the most controversial topic everyone talks about when the word success is mentioned: Financial Independence and Financial Freedom. It will be hard for people to believe someone is successful without the element of financial success at play. Well, that’s an analysis for another way.

In today’s epistle, we shall be discussing the other three components namely: Health and wellbeing; Healthy family and Social relationship; and Spirituality and Inner grounding.

The Fourth of Pillars of Success: Health and Wellbeing:

Success has no sweetness without good health. This pillar recognizes the interconnectedness of physical vitality, emotional balance, mental clarity, and rest. A sustainable life requires a body and mind strong enough to sustain dreams, relationships, and responsibilities.

Health is one of the most critical aspects and pillars of success. Apart from spirituality, I believe it is the most important pillar of success. Regardless of any amount of money, connection, knowledge, career, family or even spirituality one may have, if one does not have good  health on their part, they may not be able to function at optimal capacity. This is simply because, without health on one’s side, one is merely existing as opposed to living.

To show you how important one’s health is, if you don’t have good health, one will find it hard to read, work, exercise, fulfil purpose and even pray. Do you see why health is a critical foundation and pillar of success?

One influential Nigerian politician, Hon. Barr. C. M. C. Onuoha once shared with me a powerful insight from Chief Obafemi Awolowo. He said: “Before you contest for any office, you must have three things: health, money, and connection. But above all, the number one factor you need most is your health.” This is true because money can return, and connections can rebuild. But health, once significantly compromised, does not offer guarantees.

Attaining good health is not rock and science, all one needs to do is exercise, eat good food, sleep well and practice preventive care by avoiding harmful substances and visiting your doctor to check annual medical check-ups, Blood pressure and blood sugar monitoring, cancer screenings (age-appropriate) dental check-ups, eye examinations and taking vaccinations where recommended

The fifth pillars of Success: Healthy Family and Social Relationships.

No one succeeds in isolation. People flourish through connection, support, and community. This pillar affirms the value of nurturing your closest relationships, which include family, friendships, mentors, and networks. These bonds provide strength in difficult seasons, perspective in confusing ones, and joy in victorious ones.

Informed minds know that family is everything. It’s only in family that one can find “ily” which means “I love you”. All other acquaintances have an “end”. E.g. friend, girlfriend, boyfriend and even best friend. It’s sad that most people don’t understand the power of family and relationships in the development of a better society. Some people even sacrifice their family for their job. I think that’s one of the most expensive mistakes one can make. They forget that the moment they kick the bucket, it won’t take the company 24hours to advertise their position. Advice: Maintain family and career balance.

The importance of relationships cannot be over emphasized.  We need family, friends, mentors, and even strangers to succeed. Uniformed minds don’t know that relationships are a currency. According to Robin Sharma, the business of business is human relationship, but the business of life is human connection.

The value of relationships to success is priceless. Nobody knows it all, we need each other to survive and succeed. We also need a strong family culture. We need to maximize our friendships and networks to move to the next chapter of life.

The sixth pillars of success: Spirituality and Inner Grounding:

Every human being draws strength from a deeper place. Some call it faith or spirituality; others call it conviction, conscience, or spiritual grounding. This pillar focuses on the inner life: values, belief systems, moral compass, and connection with God. For those who embrace faith, this becomes the source of clarity, integrity, resilience, and peace. It is the secret power that holds all other pillars together.

This pillar here is the most important pillar of success. I believe that’s why it’s saved for the last. If you agree with me before anything happens physically, it will happen in the spirit world. Yes, success happens in the spiritual realm. This can come in the form of dreams or prophecies.

There are many powers that come with spirituality and one of them is words. We can shape our worlds with the power of spoken words. Imagine having a bad dream at night, to overcome the power of the dream, one is expected to pray. Imagine having a bad experience, instead of accepting your fate, say, I am blessed, I am favored. Instead of saying, I am poor, say, I am rich in abundance. Instead of saying the world is against me, say the universe is conspiring for my success.

I vividly remember when I was in New York Law School preparing for an examination, a friend asked Henry, if your exam is tomorrow, how do you feel you will perform? In all honesty, I do know the best I can score is a C in my course. I told her, well, I’m looking at A-. Guess what, I made 3.5GPA that semester which earned me a scholarship. Can you see how significant words can be?

Another dimension of spiritual power of words can be seen in parental blessings. Apart from God, nobody and I repeat, nobody can bless you more than your biological parents. Your parents carry within them the foundational gene of blessings one needs to succeed.  I am a living testimony to parental blessings. My first appearance on television was made possible by the prayers of my late grandmother.

Another important aspect of spiritual power is giving.  I call it the ultimate gateway to spiritual blessings. Again, this is one of my strengths. I love to give even when it is difficult for me. I believe when one gives to anyone in need, it has a way of coming back in hundreds of folds.

In conclusion, essentially, anyone who claims success, in its fullest sense, will eventually touch all six pillars. Missing one doesn’t mean failure; it simply reveals where to build next. An Igbo proverb says, “Whenever a man wakes up, his morning begins.” No matter your age or stage, you can wake up to a stronger, clearer, and more fulfilling version of success. If you are yet to read the Six Pillars of Success, head fast to Amazon and grab a copy of the trending book with this link. The Six Pillars of Success.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Every living is conversant with the word ‘success’. But, what does success really mean to you as an individual? Success indeed means different things to different people. While some will say becoming a millionaire, some others might say, having a family, becoming a chief operating officer, president, or even a celebrity.

All these points are valid, but the key question one is, does all these really translate to being successful? On a personal note, I believe true success is making an impact in society, and most importantly, making an impact on the lives of fellow human beings.

The reason I decided to write on the six pillars of success is borne out from the fact that many people have misplaced priorities. To be successful there are certain boxes that must be checked, though the boxes are not exhaustive, but the ones under review are the fundamentals of success. I will write about three now, and present the remaining three next week.

It may interest you to know that these six topics were culled from my third book (The Six Pillars of Success) which was published about forty eight hours ago, and it’s very detailed with practical information. So, if you would like to know more, you need to grab a copy NOW.

PILLAR ONE: PURPOSE AND PERSONAL GROWTH

Every lasting achievement begins with clarity of purpose and a commitment to ongoing development. This pillar emphasizes direction (knowing why you are here) and discipline, so you can become the person capable of reaching your full potential. It acts like an anchor, helping you make better choices, stay strong in tough times, and move forward in life with clear intention.

Discovering one’s unique purpose is the most important and fundamental aspect of success. As living beings, we are all unique and it’s our uniqueness that sets us apart, and this uniqueness is what will bring opportunities to us. We are built and wired differently.  Isn’t it true that not even identical twins are similar?

Without purpose, one is just existing and not living. We are not meant to exist, rather we are meant to live and have an impact on society. Living on purpose is one of the most important if not the most important thing in life. One of the sweetest journeys of success is achieving success on one’s purpose. One may be wondering how one can know their purpose and how does one live on purpose?

To know your purpose, one will have to go to their creator. Everything in life has a manual.  A computer, car, phone, television all have a manual by the creator which knows how the product functions, any attempt to use the product out of the manual might frustrate the process.

In the same way, every living being was created by God and it’s only God who can determine one’s purpose. Nobody can succeed outside their God given purpose, any attempt to succeed out of your God given purpose might result in defective success. Our prayer is that we may never succeed outside our God given purpose because that’s the place we get fulfillment.

The journey of purpose works with personal growth. When you have discovered your purpose, it will be easy to develop it with personal growth and that involves determination and discipline.

One can’t be truly successful without an element of perseverance and determination. Nobody will hand over success to you, even if you are given a good foundation, one will still have to do some work to build and develop what has already been handed over to them.

For instance, a student who wants to pass an examination must read and do the necessary things. Your parents might get you the materials and your teacher will do the teaching, but it’s your responsibility to do the needful. Moral: Just like power is not handled over to someone, one will have to fight and grab it, so Success is not served a la carte.

So, when you have discovered your unique God given purpose, your next task is to develop it, visualize the future you anticipate, and then you discipline and train your mind for success.

PILLAR TWO: CAREER AND VOCATIONAL EXCELLENCE

Your work is one of the primary platforms where your gifts, skills, and contributions find expression. This pillar highlights the pursuit of excellence, competence, continuous learning, and meaningful impact in whatever field, vocation or ministry you embrace. It is about turning skill into mastery and opportunity into influence.

If you agree with me, you can’t build something on nothing. When anyone says, “I am successful, the world would like to know what made them successful. For instance, one will either have a product or service they are offering to the world. Alternatively, one may have a carer or vocation which can be a skill they have developed expertise on after a long period of time.

Career success can be considered the engine of vocational excellence because it helps one to live in their comfort zone and enables one to specialize in setting attainable goals and strategies that can strategically position one to the next level.

It’s sad to see people who love sitting in their comfort zones. They are afraid of taking strategic risk that’s capable of taking them to their level. It’s instructive to note that every next level of your life will demand a different you.

One must be intentional when taking career and professional risks because it is necessary for growth. The ability for one to overcome these barriers will ultimately lead one to the next level.

PILLAR THREE: FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE AND FREEDOM

Money, as we have established, is not the definition of success, but it is a vital tool for building a stable, impactful, and free life. This pillar focuses on financial wisdom, responsible management, value creation, and the ability to make choices without being held hostage by financial pressure. True independence emerges when money becomes a servant to your purpose, not a master.

When we talk about success this. This is the area most people look up to. They want to know if one has financial stability which entails financial independence and financial freedom. There’s no doubt excellence breeds success. When one is good at what they do, it’s normal for them to get favors and opportunities which will ultimately bring goodwill and money to them.

Financial independence is one of the rubrics one can use to determine how successful one is, however, the big question begging for answer is how much is one expected to have? That’s a relative question because having money, being rich and being wealthy means different things to different people. While some people are grateful with what they have provided, it can solve the basic needs of life, others will have greed to accumulate wealth to the detriment of mankind. Isn’t it true that a poor man is considered rich when he has contentment and a rich man is considered poor if he’s greedy.

In understanding financial freedom, it’s expected for one to understand how the psychology of money works; one should also pay detailed attention to how to earn and multiply money. Effort should be invested in understanding the value of time in accumulating wealth and the concept of value which is the oil and commodity that attracts money.

Money does not come to one, one must be engaged in something of value. When money comes, one must plan for it by investing, budgeting wisely, spending wisely and saving. Be advised, if you don’t save money, money won’t save you, so save money so money can save you.

In conclusion, as you are about to embark on these six pillars of success, you must ask yourself the fundamental question, who am I? This is the mother of all questions because success lies in knowing oneself. That’s the foundation of success because when this part has been figured out, it will be easy to build other platforms.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com