Adding Value
Adding Value: A Solid Relationship Precedes Success by Henry Ukazu
Published
5 years agoon
By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
Relationships are very vital for our success. It is rather unfortunate that many people don’t understand the rationale behind, as well as the influential nature of having a dynamic relationship. It is imperative to note that we are all products of relationships. We relate with our spouses, children, friends, family, colleagues, and humanity in general. It is often advised to be civil to all, social to many, and familiar to few. However, having the ability to nurture these relationships is very important in life. But of more important is being able to decipher how to relate to each, and knowing the exact persons you admit into a relationship. Note that a wise man once said “be careful who you let into your ship because some people will sink the whole ship just because they can’t be the captain”. A word, they say, is enough for the wise.
Notwithstanding, we are not unaware that relationships are very important in our lives. We are all products of relationships. We are created as relational beings. We live for relationships. Little wonder when God wants to bless us, he uses people. Of course, when the devil wants to mess us up, he also uses people. Relationships will either make or mar us, so it is wise to ensure that we don’t allow toxic relationships, and we don’t take beneficial relationships for granted.
Before you relate to anyone, you must relate with yourself. You can never relate cordially with others if you cannot relate with yourself. A better relationship with yourself begins with understanding yourself. If you cannot relate to yourself, you will find it difficult to relate with others. Many people don’t understand themselves and therefore, find it difficult to relate with others.
Every relationship is literally different. Just as our faces look different, our attitudes, behaviours, character and instincts are different. Every relationship needs different ingredients to thrive. A business relationship needs trust, discipline, understanding and honesty to thrive, while a marital relationship needs romance, honesty, tolerance, understanding, communication, compromise, trust, sacrifice, and compatibility to thrive.
Just to let you how powerful a relationship is, in some social parlance, it is often said that if God wants to bless a man, he sends a man and if he wants to destroy a man, he sends a woman. Relationships come in different ways; your relationship with your wife can make or mar you. If you marry the wrong person, your life will take a different route, but if you marry right, he/she will attract opportunities, blessings, and a good support system for you.
In business, the ability to meet your clients and customers where they are is critical to your success. People will do business with you if they trust and like you. Building relationships doesn’t entail relating only with the high and mighty in society. It does not mean relating with only productive people. Yes, these sets of minds are very resourceful and should be generally used for evaluation, but do you know that a good relationship with a security officer, cleaner, cook, artisan, and the low class in the society can be the icing on your cake that will change the course of your life. This is because they may have access to your potential investor.
In order to have a fruitful relationship, it is important to study emotional intelligence because it will go a long to manage the vicissitudes of life in addition to letting you know if the relationship is for you or not. Emotional intelligence deals with self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, social management, and then empathy. These are very important for a successful relationship, and need to be well managed.
As human beings, we are products of two major factors 1. Nature – how we were born and 2. Nurture – How we grow (parents, environment, school, friends, experiences, etc.). These two factors put together determines our make and personalities. Emotional intelligence will help you to nurture your relationship.
We all desire to have a fruitful relationship, no doubt. It can be in our personal or professional capacity. However, it is important to note that there’s no formula or script for any successful relationship; one needs to be deliberate and intentional to make it work. A relationship is simply like a gift that’s yet to be open. No one sees the full picture of a gift, the same is applicable to a relationship. You can hardly tell the surprise character or attitude your partner can spring up during your relationship. Therefore, an individual’s level of emotional intelligence will determine a lot. Good emotional intelligence will help you to be aware and manage your partners’ emotions, creating a room to accommodate mistakes and learning to forgive.
In order to have a successful marital relationship, here are some bullet points to avoid
1. The urge to control your spouse, partner, people, etc. Resist this urge nor matter how hard it tries to raise its ugly head. For instance, if you are the provider for the family and you are a female, resist the urge to control or manipulate your spouse. Any form of manipulation is witchcraft.
2. Avoid the need to always be right at all costs. Generally, in marriage, there’s no winner and loser. You either win together or lose together. The best way to approach this issue is by applying the best interest judgment. Both parties must hear each other and select the best point.
3. Resist the temptation to retaliate and not forgive. Avoid the habits of digging up past hurts and wounds to retaliate. In marriage, you are bound to hurt each other, the ability to tolerate is very vital to the success of your marriage.
4. Resist the urge to criticize far more than you encourage: Marriage needs appreciation and support to grow. However, if you are to criticize, you must do it constructively. If you are criticized objectively, two things are possible; if it is untrue, ignore the urge to be irritated, but if it is true, it is not a criticism, it’s a lesson; learn from it.
5. Communicate how you feel. Communication is the life wire of any marital relationship. Without communication, the marriage dies just like a plant dies without water. Communication works in different forms for different people. Communication helps to build intimacy in marriage. Words are very important in marriage, in fact, they can ignite a fire that can lead to the dissolution of a marriage if the wrongly used.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a mindset coach and public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Introducing the Six Pillars of Success by Henry Ukazu
Published
5 days agoon
March 14, 2026By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
Every living is conversant with the word ‘success’. But, what does success really mean to you as an individual? Success indeed means different things to different people. While some will say becoming a millionaire, some others might say, having a family, becoming a chief operating officer, president, or even a celebrity.
All these points are valid, but the key question one is, does all these really translate to being successful? On a personal note, I believe true success is making an impact in society, and most importantly, making an impact on the lives of fellow human beings.
The reason I decided to write on the six pillars of success is borne out from the fact that many people have misplaced priorities. To be successful there are certain boxes that must be checked, though the boxes are not exhaustive, but the ones under review are the fundamentals of success. I will write about three now, and present the remaining three next week.
It may interest you to know that these six topics were culled from my third book (The Six Pillars of Success) which was published about forty eight hours ago, and it’s very detailed with practical information. So, if you would like to know more, you need to grab a copy NOW.
PILLAR ONE: PURPOSE AND PERSONAL GROWTH
Every lasting achievement begins with clarity of purpose and a commitment to ongoing development. This pillar emphasizes direction (knowing why you are here) and discipline, so you can become the person capable of reaching your full potential. It acts like an anchor, helping you make better choices, stay strong in tough times, and move forward in life with clear intention.
Discovering one’s unique purpose is the most important and fundamental aspect of success. As living beings, we are all unique and it’s our uniqueness that sets us apart, and this uniqueness is what will bring opportunities to us. We are built and wired differently. Isn’t it true that not even identical twins are similar?
Without purpose, one is just existing and not living. We are not meant to exist, rather we are meant to live and have an impact on society. Living on purpose is one of the most important if not the most important thing in life. One of the sweetest journeys of success is achieving success on one’s purpose. One may be wondering how one can know their purpose and how does one live on purpose?
To know your purpose, one will have to go to their creator. Everything in life has a manual. A computer, car, phone, television all have a manual by the creator which knows how the product functions, any attempt to use the product out of the manual might frustrate the process.
In the same way, every living being was created by God and it’s only God who can determine one’s purpose. Nobody can succeed outside their God given purpose, any attempt to succeed out of your God given purpose might result in defective success. Our prayer is that we may never succeed outside our God given purpose because that’s the place we get fulfillment.
The journey of purpose works with personal growth. When you have discovered your purpose, it will be easy to develop it with personal growth and that involves determination and discipline.
One can’t be truly successful without an element of perseverance and determination. Nobody will hand over success to you, even if you are given a good foundation, one will still have to do some work to build and develop what has already been handed over to them.
For instance, a student who wants to pass an examination must read and do the necessary things. Your parents might get you the materials and your teacher will do the teaching, but it’s your responsibility to do the needful. Moral: Just like power is not handled over to someone, one will have to fight and grab it, so Success is not served a la carte.
So, when you have discovered your unique God given purpose, your next task is to develop it, visualize the future you anticipate, and then you discipline and train your mind for success.
PILLAR TWO: CAREER AND VOCATIONAL EXCELLENCE
Your work is one of the primary platforms where your gifts, skills, and contributions find expression. This pillar highlights the pursuit of excellence, competence, continuous learning, and meaningful impact in whatever field, vocation or ministry you embrace. It is about turning skill into mastery and opportunity into influence.
If you agree with me, you can’t build something on nothing. When anyone says, “I am successful, the world would like to know what made them successful. For instance, one will either have a product or service they are offering to the world. Alternatively, one may have a carer or vocation which can be a skill they have developed expertise on after a long period of time.
Career success can be considered the engine of vocational excellence because it helps one to live in their comfort zone and enables one to specialize in setting attainable goals and strategies that can strategically position one to the next level.
It’s sad to see people who love sitting in their comfort zones. They are afraid of taking strategic risk that’s capable of taking them to their level. It’s instructive to note that every next level of your life will demand a different you.
One must be intentional when taking career and professional risks because it is necessary for growth. The ability for one to overcome these barriers will ultimately lead one to the next level.
PILLAR THREE: FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE AND FREEDOM
Money, as we have established, is not the definition of success, but it is a vital tool for building a stable, impactful, and free life. This pillar focuses on financial wisdom, responsible management, value creation, and the ability to make choices without being held hostage by financial pressure. True independence emerges when money becomes a servant to your purpose, not a master.
When we talk about success this. This is the area most people look up to. They want to know if one has financial stability which entails financial independence and financial freedom. There’s no doubt excellence breeds success. When one is good at what they do, it’s normal for them to get favors and opportunities which will ultimately bring goodwill and money to them.
Financial independence is one of the rubrics one can use to determine how successful one is, however, the big question begging for answer is how much is one expected to have? That’s a relative question because having money, being rich and being wealthy means different things to different people. While some people are grateful with what they have provided, it can solve the basic needs of life, others will have greed to accumulate wealth to the detriment of mankind. Isn’t it true that a poor man is considered rich when he has contentment and a rich man is considered poor if he’s greedy.
In understanding financial freedom, it’s expected for one to understand how the psychology of money works; one should also pay detailed attention to how to earn and multiply money. Effort should be invested in understanding the value of time in accumulating wealth and the concept of value which is the oil and commodity that attracts money.
Money does not come to one, one must be engaged in something of value. When money comes, one must plan for it by investing, budgeting wisely, spending wisely and saving. Be advised, if you don’t save money, money won’t save you, so save money so money can save you.
In conclusion, as you are about to embark on these six pillars of success, you must ask yourself the fundamental question, who am I? This is the mother of all questions because success lies in knowing oneself. That’s the foundation of success because when this part has been figured out, it will be easy to build other platforms.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value: Success and the Biological Clock by Henry Ukazu
Published
2 weeks agoon
March 7, 2026By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
Biology is the scientific study of life, covering structure, function, evolution, and interaction. The key branches of biology include molecular biology, genetics, ecology, botany, zoology, and microbiology. For your information, this article is not about health, nor is it about science. It is rather about inspiration, motivation, creative thinking and the relativity of how the biological clock of success works in the attainment of success.
As a trained and passionate Human Capacity Development expert, we shall explore the meaning of the biological clock of success from a different perspective. However, it’s important to make a full disclosure here. I am not a biologist, nor do I have a medical background. However, if you can give me a little bit of your time, you’ll understand what I mean by the biological clock of success.
As human beings we all have our biological clock, and this biological clock means different things to different people. For instance, A woman’s biological clock refers to the natural decline in fertility, which begins gradually in the late 20s, becomes more pronounced after age 35, and drops sharply by age 40, The male biological clock begins to tick in the mid-to-late 30s, with a more significant, accelerated decline in fertility and semen quality often occurring after age 40 to 45.
Again, for ladies, it is generally said that menopause typically starts between the ages of 45 and 55, with the average age being 51–52 in the U.S. As a student there’s an acceptable time for students to attend elementary school, High School and College. Even though this is not a set rule, it is however believed that when students follow the acceptable standards, it helps to smoothen their academic and professional journey.
For a single man/lady, there’s an acceptable time for marriage which if followed diligently, can have a great and positive impact in the raising of kids. My late mother used to say, when your mates are running, please run with them.
In the journey of life, there’s time for everything, when you miss your miss time, sometimes, it can be hard to catch up. Imagine, if you have a scheduled time to catch a flight, if you don’t get to the airport within a certain time, one might miss their flight because by the time one is done with the checking and custom, it might be late. That tells you, there’s time for everything. In the same manner, in whatever one would like to do in life, there’s time for everything, by the time one misses the appointed or set time, it might be hard to get it back. That’s why it is generally said, when you can lose your money and get it back, you can even lose your health and get it back, but when you lose your time, it will take a miracle to get it back.
In life, each and everyone of us has our biological clock of success, the time of success for Mr. A is quite different from the time of success for Mr. B. Some people attain success during their teenage years, while some in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. For instance, President Theodore Roosevelt became the United States of America President at the age of 42 which made him the youngest US President, while President Joe Biden became the oldest US president at the age of 78.
As a business owner, some might start a business and break even during their first year, while another person might start a business and break even in their fifth or tenth year. The same principle is applicable for a young student who graduates from college and couldn’t get his dream job until five years later but contrasts it to another student who graduates and gets his dream job within months of graduation. How about a lady who got married and had a child in her first year of marriage, while another person might have a child in 10th year of marriage despite marrying first. There are many twists about this, but here is the message, what matters is not how far, but how well.
This is because no matter how long it took you to get your degree, it may take many failed relationships to find love but you found it. A house bought at 65 is still an accomplishment. So don’t let people bully you with their timeline of success.
As human beings, we all have our biological clock. Everyone has their time of success, so keep working on your craft, continue to develop your craft, continue to network strategically, continue to add value and continue to develop yourself. At the end of the day, when the timing is right, everything will add up.
Sometimes, one might be investing time and energy into a project, and it doesn’t seem to add up well, what the person fails to understand is that there might be an invisible hand working which the person might not see. It can be a case of if the person gets the opportunity, they might not be able to manage it, or it will cause them more harm than good because it’s not suitable for them. Sometimes, it can be a case of one not being fully prepared to attract the due respect and opportunity they are looking for because one will never get the desired opportunity they are looking for until they have developed the capacity to receive it.
There’s a saying that one shouldn’t be angry about what didn’t happen, because what didn’t happen might prevent disaster from happening. What that literally means is that in all situations, let’s give God the glory.
In summary, everyone has a biological clock of success, what is important is for us to continue to develop ourselves, develop our product, services and most importantly continue to show up by putting ourselves out for the universe to acknowledge our work and in due time, we will get our flowers.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value: Crave the Circle of Your Betters by Henry Ukazu
Published
3 weeks agoon
February 28, 2026By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
A credible relationship is a valuable currency. A great relationship is priceless. The relationship is even more monumental, when it is contracted with persons much better in status, intelligence, reach and spread, and capabilities than one. Several people come into an individual’s life for several reasons; some are parasitic, while a great many others are symbiotic. However, many people still do not understand the value of having a valuable relationship, in other words, a relationship with someone better than ‘you’.
To succeed in the journey of life, one needs to understand who they are, and know what they want. It’s one thing to know who you are, and another thing to know what you want. Some people know who they are yet unable to decipher what they actually want, while some others know what they want, but lack the ability to know who they are. Let me explain.
If you know who you are, it will be easier to see what you want from someone. For instance, the first thing a single man/lady, who is interested in marriage should figure out is who they are (their temperament, strength, weakness, personality, values, and interest). The ability to know these fundamental information will help to figure out who will complement them.
In another scenario, some people know what they want, but don’t really know who they are. This is why I strongly advocate self-discovery training for anyone interested in starting a business or having a life partner.
I can’t underemphasize the importance of associating with people better than you. On a personal note, my most defining moment in the journey of life and business is relationship. Not only is this relationship defining and resourceful, it is valuable and priceless because I relate closely with people better and more resourceful than me.
A wise man once stated that ‘if I have attained success, it is because I stood on the shoulders of giants’. According to the sage, great men have great habits, they carefully select their partners, a step into their life will make a difference in your own life, absorb their books, listen to their tapes and you will be great like them. As a cultured Nigerian man, we have a saying that ‘when a child washes his hands, he will dine with elders’.
One might be wondering the reasoning behind all these parables. Well, the answer is not far-fetched; it’s all about associating with people better than you, and this is all about relationships. If you don’t have a great relationship with people, it will be hard for them to relate closely with you. Relationship is a skill that needs to be nurtured.
One of the secrets of the little success and impact I have made is the people in my life. I have great and resourceful mentors, who have really made great impacts in life. Based on my personal experience with them, they have introduced me to great minds and have given me access and opportunities money and hard work can’t buy. There are heights I know I may never have attain if not because of God and human relationship.
Did you know that just like mercy works with grace, favor works with relationships. Did you know that just like where your prayers cannot reach, your sacrifice can get you there. In the same vein, where your education can’t get you, your relationship will get you there.
It’s unfortunate that many people don’t know the importance of associating with people better than them. You might be brilliant, sophisticated, confident, and maybe even successful, but I can guarantee you that there’s something you will need because nobody knows or has it all. The truth of the matter is that you can’t be shorter and taller than everyone at the same time. So, no matter how brilliant, sophisticated, confident or even successful one may appear to be, there are people who are more brilliant, more sophisticated, more confident and even more successful than yhem, so be humble just as your heavenly father is humble.
In another way, even when people may not be as smart and confident as you are, the irony of life is that someone somewhere is wishing they were half blessed are you are. Do you see the irony of life? Regardless of where you may belong between these two extremes, resolve today to start associating with those who are better than you. If, for instance, you are afflicted with self-doubt, avoid Brother Thomas, instead visit and cultivate Father Abraham, the grand patriarch of the faith family. If you are a stingy person, begin to associate with a generous mind.
Association in life really matters if they are healthy and valuable, but when it begins to affect your mental health, please avoid it because it is what you feed your mind on that it will digest and send to the universe.
In conclusion, be intentional in cultivating healthy relationships because a large chunk of what happens in your life will be shaped by the people you allowed into it.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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