Dear Destiny Friends,

Cross is a word that means several things to several people. For Christians, apart from serving as symbol of their faith, it refers to the agony Jesus Christ had to experience for the salvation of mankind. For a married couple, it refers to their partner’s excesses. For a grown man, it means the various endeavours required to provide for the family. For the woman, it can mean carrying a child for nine months, while for parents, it can be training and providing for their children, and for business people, it means developing, investing and growing their businesses. For employees on the other hand, it means doing the needful for the collective growth of the firm. On a general note, cross can refer to the burden or process one has to bear or undergo to be successful.

What therefore, is your cross? Yes, there’s no human being on earth without a cross. The crosses we carry however, vary. Cross is like pain. We all experience it differently. Just like it’s usually said in some social parlance, one man’s meat is another’s poison. Someone’s pain might be someone’s gain, and what might appear heavy for someone might be fun for another.

We can easily juxtapose the case of a wealthy man without a child with a poor man with children. They want what the other doesn’t have.  Another scenario is where someone with enough wealth, but the children are not responsive to tutelage. Now contrast that to a case where someone might have just one or two children who are very responsible, but does not have money to support their needs and training.

Another scenario is where a student might have money, but lacks understanding to pass a subject unlike another student who might be poor, but he’s extremely intelligent. I can go on and on, but as a sage would say, a word is enough for the wise.

In the journey of life, everyone carries a cross at a particular point in time. This cross appears in various stages. The newly born child must undergo the process of crawling, walking and running. At each stage, the child carried a cross. In the same way, when the child is two years, the interest of the child changes. And it is when he becomes four years, six years, eight years, 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, 25 years, 30 years, 35 years, 40 years 50 years and 60 years, and continues to change as the years add. A closer look will explain that the child will definitely carry a cross at each stage of their life until they leave this world. The cross never ends, it just changes.

The same principle is applicable to relationships. During dating or courtship, the way partners relate is quite different from when they are married. When they are married, their love language hits different, and when the kids begin to come in, it’s a different story. When their marriage hits five, 10, 15, 20, and 30 years, it’s a different ball game entirely. The interesting thing here is that, what ordinarily might not be a problem during their first three years might threaten their marriage in five or ten years because the cross they carry has shifted.

Everyone has a cross irrespective if the profession or leaning. I call this cross “secret frustration”. What makes the ultimate difference is how we manage the pain or frustration. If the pain, challenge or cross is properly managed, one will not appear burnt, however, if the pain takes a toil on you, one will pay the price and if not properly managed it can have an adverse repercussion.

Furthermore, carrying one’s cross involves carrying one’s responsibility and vision. Nobody will carry it for you. Imagine, having a vision and giving it to someone else, nobody will carry your vision for you, neither will anyone do the work for you.

In my personal experience in life, I have always searched for men who can pour into me whether financially, academically, mentally, spiritually and health-wise. One may wonder what I gained during the period, I was disappointed on several occasions. It was the moment I realized my life and success was entirely in my hands, I became intentional in carrying my cross and results began to trickle in. The moral of my experience is that nobody will save you, you must save yourself. The best anybody can do is to assist you to save you.

One of the surprising things I have discovered when people carry their crosses is that others appear to be spectators; they observe with reservation to see how life will unfold for you. By the time one succeeds, these observers appear like flies to grab their own share of largesse they didn’t invest in. Suddenly, they become entitled to your hard-earned money and opportunities which they didn’t contribute to making. As one of my mentors will say, you are allowed to do the work, but you are not permitted to eat alone. These sets of ignorant minds fail to understand the importance of taking risks, sacrificing and building strategic relationships. These are the strong pillars which separate an ordinary mind from an extraordinary man.

The moral of this analysis is that the extra-ordinary man was intentional in carrying his cross by taking strategic risks, experiencing failures and building and investing in strategic relationships which culminated to their success, but the ordinary man was merely concerned in staying in their comfort zones.

It’s instructive to note that it’s not easy for anyone; everyone is dealing with something. Sometimes, people make foolish mistakes and take poor decisions which cause them a fortune and they expect someone who they consider as a Lamb of God to take away their sins, but life doesn’t work that way. If you ask someone for assistance and they say they can’t afford it, please don’t be mad, because if you can, you wouldn’t ask them.

In conclusion, I don’t know what your situation is, but I’m here to tell you, your cross is valid, and your cross will not only design your destiny, but it will unleash your destiny which will ultimately set you apart. So, don’t be hard on yourself when you are carrying your cross, it’s part of life’s journey and process to fashion and unleash you to the world.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Did you know that life is full of different currencies? Yes, just like different countries have their unique currencies, different human beings, governments, schools, organizations and institutions have unique currencies that not only work for them, but also set them apart from others. Anyone with the intent to work with any of them therefore, must be prepared to present their currency, and speak in the language they understand.

Currencies in this context are not limited to medium of exchange as in money, but includes every gesture and body language that propel acknowledgement, connectivity and acceptance when in deals with another party.

Let’s take a case study of the United States of America; their trading currency is dollars,  and some of the characteristics that made them unique are:

Core Values and Freedoms: The U.S. is built on principles of individual rights, religious freedom, and limited government, enshrined in the Constitution.

The “American Dream“: Is a pervasive culture of opportunity that allows for upward mobility and the ability to pursue personal success regardless of background.

Innovation and Entrepreneurship: A leading global hub for technology, invention, and business, from Silicon Valley to space exploration.

Diversity and Inclusion: A “melting pot” that blends cultures, ideas, and people from around the world into a unique national identity.

All these are currencies that make the United States the greatest country on earth. If any progressive mind can tap into any of these principles, they stand a greater chance of succeeding in America if they work hard and play by the rules.

The same principle is applicable in any country, government school, organization and institution. Every school, institution, organization and human being have core values and principles which can be likened to currencies. It is these core values that make them unique.

When the word currency is mentioned, it’s easy for one to think of money, but currency does not relate only to money. There are many qualities that one may have that’s more than money. For instance, good health, values, character, and principles are some qualities money can’t buy. It’s only small minds who think highly of money.

As a matter of fact, there are individuals who can sell their soul for money. These sets of people don’t really have conscience because they are merely concerned about themselves. They might have the mindset of use what you must get what you don’t have. When you contrast such a mindset with people with values, you will discover that the difference is clear, because these great minds are big on legacy. They stand for the right ideology even if it means for them to stand alone. This is the kind of currency I am talking about.

Some of the social currencies that uninformed minds are not aware of are knowledge, good health, God, relationship, access, internet, and skill. These are powerful currencies resourceful people use to thrive globally. Some might have money, but that same money can’t get access to certain groups of people, while some people might not have money, but they have access to certain people and if they successfully use their “currency” they can use it as an exchange of value to get money from rich people.

The same principle is applicable in relationships. As a matter of fact, I strongly feel apart from God, the strongest currency one can have is relationship. One might have education with good grades, money, and social currency, but lack how to establish and nurture a good relationship with people.

In social networking, the maxim is who do you know? But in advanced networking, the rule has changed to who knows you because you might know President Trump or Elon Musk, but do they know you? Do you know that who you know might open the door for you, but who knows you will give you a seat at the table. That’s the hallmark of a relationship.  According to Robin Sharma “The business of business is relationships; but the business of life the business of life is human connection”.

The internet is also a social currency. The internet is called the fifth estate for a reason. In this 21^st century, the internet has made us understand that the world is a global village. You can literally connect with anyone via social media. It’s sad to see people on social media but find it difficult to use it to advance their cause and careers in addition to connecting with the right people.

In all honesty, I am a big fan of social media because it has enabled me to connect with great people all over the world. I use my social media pages as a platform to share what I do and I have been privileged to connect with some great people. Like, I always say, why be local when you can be global?

Let’s analyze the four main currencies: Time, Energy, Attention and Money. (TEAM)

Time: Your most finite resource; it cannot be earned back, so how you spend your hours defines your life

Energy: The driving force for action, encompassing physical, mental, and emotional fuel for creativity and resilience

Attention: Where you focus your mind, determines what grows and flourishes in your life amidst distractions.

Money: A tangible means of exchange for goods, services, and opportunities, but its value depends on how it serves your goals.

In conclusion, just like everyone is unique and blessed with several gifts/talents, we are blessed with one form of currency which we can use to attract people into our life. So, quit looking outside and start looking inside. When you figure your currency, you’ll not only be attractive, you’ll become one of the most highly sought after person when you have developed your talent. So, I will conclude by asking you, what currency do you have?

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Greetings Destiny Friends,

One of the most interesting aspects of living is the belief factor. What somebody believes in has a role to play in how his life unfolds. It can either make or mar him.

If you are asked what you believe in, what’s likely going to be your response?

There are different kinds of beliefs, especially as it relates to religion. Catholics have their belief; atheist have their belief; Buddhists have their belief; protestants have their belief; Muslims have their belief; Orthodox have their belief, even traditional native doctors have their own belief.

It’s instructive to note that it is what you believe that would work for you. Let’s take a case study of traditional native doctors. When people go to them to find a solution to their problems, the native doctors will give them different herbs or concoction with specific instructions on how to use them. Due to fear or their faith in it, their these people would be compelled to follow their instructions to the latter to get solutions to their problem.

What is important here is not really the herbs, drinks, or instruction that was given to the person, but the belief the person has that will make all the difference. If the person doesn’t have faith in the herbs or the concoction, it won’t work for them, no matter how potent it might be.

The same principle is applicable to anyone who is sick. A doctor’s treatment will be of no effect if the patient does not believe in the doctor or the pill administered to them. Recovery process will therefore be slow.

Believing is relative, and so to succeed, one must have a belief system. The belief system of an employee is quite different from the belief system of a religious person, the belief system of a mentee is also different from the belief system of a politician, the belief system of a president or governor is also different from the belief system of a comedian.

If one should look closely, all these belief patterns are different because what works for one might not really work for another. Let’s take a case study of a mentee or employee. A mentee or an employee might believe that if they do their job very well in addition to playing by the rules and being loyal, they stand a better opportunity of getting good opportunities from their mentor or employer. Now contrast this mindset with of a priest or a president. The priest’s main target is to preach the word of God, convert souls to God, and hopefully pray to go to heaven. But the president’s mindset might be to win the next election. The same is applicable to a comedian whose main target is to make his guests laugh, because when they laugh, they will be obliged to appreciate his service.

Do you see that belief factors are relative? As a child, parent, student or professor there’s always something we hope to get. Even as individuals, we have different goals and aspirations. There are some things we might think are not attainable because of our disposition or mindset, but the truth is that there’s nothing we set our mind to do that we can’t achieve if God is with us. The Book of Life states in 1 John 4:4, that ‘he that is in you is greater than he that is in the world’. In his book “Think and Grow Rich”, Napoleon Hill also recorded that whatsoever the mind can conceive, believe, it can achieve it.

So do you believe you can become a Governor, President, the best athlete, soccer player, lawyer, or doctor? Do you want to be a billionaire? If yes, your belief is valid. What’s left is for you to pick yourself up and get to work because talking is cheap.

Again, I will ask you what do you believe in or what’s your belief system? Sometimes, as human beings, we have different dreams and aspirations to attain a certain height, but when faced with the challenges and vicissitudes of life, we tend to give up. In some cases, we might even think our desires and goals are illusions or unattainable due to our background or circumstances facing us, we fail to understand that whether you think you can or can’t, you are right.

Did you know that the universe responds to the energy we put out? If one desires to be the president or professor and he/she puts in the work, the universe has a way of conspiring to make it work.

One thing is clear and certain: in life, we all must believe in something. According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished ghost writer, “the fundamental requisite for a successful life is neither how much you know nor how hard you work (although of course, neither is to be trifled with). The most important factor is what you believe and how deep that belief is. You can do more than you can. You can be more than you believe you are, your pattern stimulates your power to achieve”.

If the above statement is studied closely, one will understand that one of the most important factors that determines how successful a person will be is their belief. Regardless of how hard or smart one might work, if one is not intentional about their belief, it will be hard for the person to get to the next stage in life. A case study of interest that comes to mind is Christian Ronaldo and Lionel Messi. Both superb players didn’t only believe in themselves that they would be great, they put in the work that made them great and envy to others.

I can vividly remember an experience I had when I first arrived United States of America. Each time I visit any office, I literally wonder how people type so fast without looking at their screen. In all honesty and sincerity, I was saying how is that possible? My late dad will always respond; most of them grew up typing as children while in school, so it’s nothing new to them.

My late dad will always encourage me to go to school, and by the time I start working and become familiar with the system, I will see myself typing like them, if not better. In all honesty, I thought he was trying to console me. But the truth is that he was stating the obvious because I can categorically say he was right, because here I am today typing without looking at my keypad.

Another experience I had is related to my writing skills. I had poor writing skills that made my supposed mentors use sarcastic words on me. I remember telling one of them, I will be great one day. It appeared like a joke taken too far, but here I am today as the author of two amazing books with the third one in view.

Why are these stories relevant? They are relevant because of my belief system. I didn’t allow my challenges and background to limit me; rather, I was inspired to believe I could do more.

I don’t know what your storyline or circumstances might be, but what I do know is that your belief can play a big role in your life, consciously or unconsciously. Yes you are right; belief and faith work hand in glove!

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com