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The Secret of Listening by Henry Ukazu

Published

7 years ago

April 6, 2019

Eric

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply”– Stephen R. Covey

Greetings Friends,
Today’s article will take a different route because it will be structured to empower any rational mind to think out of the box. One of the greatest force in life is love. There’s an imaginary strength that comes when we truly love. If you have truly loved, you’ll agree with me that you’ll not only care how your partner or friend feel, you’ll also listen to them.

I once read a book by Gary Chapman “The five love language Love language” where the author beautifully wrote about the five love languages (Words affirmation, physical touch, gift, services and time). When you truly care, you’ll apply all this love languages to your partner, friend, work or whatever you are doing. I choose to use love to buttress the important of listening because in whatever you do in life, if you don’t love it, you won’t give it your time and listening is one of the components of loving.

There are so many things we are stand to gain when we listen to people. One of the greatest things you can do for anyone is to listen to them. It should be noted that listening comes with respect. Whether you are in the cooperate world, self employed (entrepreneur), Non Government Organization or even faith based organization, you are bound to listen to your audience because that is the best way to communicate with them while serving them.

Listening is a choice, you decide to listen to what you like. It is really hard sitting or even standing up listening to people you don’t value. When you listen to podcast or programs of interest, you select music, talks or even comedy of interest that appeals to you. In this digital age, experience has taught me to pay attention to what really matters to me. In fact, unless I am sacrificing my time for a worthy cause, if it’s not taking me to the next level and if it doesn’t involve money, it doesn’t worth my time.

In any industry you are in, you need to practice good listening skills. Are you seeking for a job, or currently working, you need a good listening skill to succeed in a job environment.

With this skill, you can navigate the politics of the job environment. Even a leader needs this skill the most. I have always opine that one of the great art of a leader is the ability to listen and learn. This is because you get more ideas when you listen to your followers.

Listening gives you ability to hear (feedback) what others feel about your work. According to Bill Gates “your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning”.

During the course of this article, we shall be discussing the different styles of listening and how we can use effective listening to enhance our business or opportunity of interest.

Practice active listening: The most important gift you can give to a public speaker is your ears. When you listen to someone, you are not only giving the person your time, you are also learning more about the person. There’s a saying you can learn more about a person by what he/she does than what he/she says. Practicing active listening is a very good way to learn and be engaged. In communication, what is important is not what is being said, but what is not being said, therein, lies the message. When you practice active listening, you hear the unspoken language from the other person in addition to being engaged.

According to G.K. Chesterton “there’s a lot of difference between hearing and listening.” This is because hearing isn’t necessarily listening. This is because you can hear someone but not present at the same time. Active listening makes you to be present. You may have heard of the saying, the joy of life is not happy you are, but how happy someone can because of you. Everyone loves to be listened and loved. In my book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success, specifically on page 111, I wrote about the four levels of gratitude (Appreciation, administration, approval and attention). In order to understand this teachings you must practice active listening to understand the unspoken words inherent in such deeds.

Eye Contact: A great communicator uses eye contact to deliver his/her message. One of the most valuable ways a public speaker communicate with his/she audience is by using eye contact. With eye contact, you can tell if your audience is listening or feeling bored.

Sometimes you hear what the person is saying when you look directly in the eyes of the person, sometimes, maintaining a visible presence by looking over the head audience gives them the desired space they need. This is because some people don’t feel comfortable when they have direct eye contact. Eye contact also goes with the body language of the speaker. In communication, sometimes, somethings are better felt than spoken.

Don’t interrupt the speaker: A good way to know a great speaker is by looking how he/she pitches his/point or message. Interrupting a speaker can ruin the flow of information. That is why sometimes, it is good to reserve questions towards at the end of any presentation.

Listen without judgment: –: In communication, most times, people listen with the intent to respond as opposed to understanding. This normally plays out most times in marriage. In law, a good to way to apply justice is by listening to the other side. In applying this knowledge, the judge normally use Audi alteram partem, a Latin phrase meaning “listen to the other side”, or “let the other side be heard as well”. It is the principle that no person should be judged without a fair hearing in which each party is given the opportunity to respond to the evidence against them.

Meditation: Mediation is a form of listening. According to Thomas Carlyle, “Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves together”. Meditation is truly a great form of listening. According to Wayne Dyer, an inspirational author, meditation is simply the act of being quiet with yourself and shutting the constant monologue that fills the inner space.

Meditation helps in self discovering. You learn more about yourself when you listen to your inner self as opposed to what other people think of you. There are many benefits that comes with meditation. Examples include: it reduces stress, helps you to focus very well, it reduces anxiety, it gives you better memory and enhances creativity.

In conclusion, a good listening skill if properly utilized will set you on a good path that will set you before leaders, kings and Heads of Industries if properly applied.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with New York City Department of Correction as the legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success.

Related Topics:Opinion The Secret of listening

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Eid-el-Fitr: Tinubu Felicitates with Nigerian Muslims, Urges Renewed Patriotism

Published

16 hours ago

March 20, 2026

Eric

As Muslims worldwide celebrate Eid-el-Fitr, marking the end of Ramadan, President Bola Tinubu has congratulated the Muslim faithful in Nigeria, urging renewed commitment to the nation and humanity.

President Tinubu enjoined Nigerian Muslims to rededicate themselves to the noble teachings of the holy month, which emphasise piety, empathy, and unity among humanity.

The President’s message was contained in a statement signed by his media aide, Bayo Onanuga, on Thursday.

“We have a lot to draw from the noble lessons of Ramadan, especially at a time like this. We must continue to abide by the virtues of piety, selflessness, perseverance, kindness and compassion beyond this period,” he said.

President Tinubu urged all Muslim faithful to extend a hand of kindness to the needy of all faiths, to further show unity and camaraderie.

The President also tasked Muslim leaders to use the occasion to offer prayers for peace and prosperity to prevail in the country.

On Wednesday, the Sultan of Sokoto and President-General of the Nigerian Supreme Council for Islamic Affairs, Muhammad Sa’ad Abubakar, approved the declaration of Friday as the day for Eid-el-Fitr.

He congratulated Muslims on the successful completion of Ramadan and called for sustained prayers for national unity and development.

The Sultan’s announcement came after the Federal government of Nigeria declared Thursday, 19 March, and Friday, 20 March 2026, as public holidays to mark the celebration of Eid-el-Fitr, which signifies the end of the holy month of Ramadan.

In a statement signed by the Permanent Secretary, Ministry of Interior, Magdalene Ajani, on Tuesday, the Minister of Interior, Olubunmi Tunji-Ojo, who made the declaration on behalf of the Federal Government, extended warm greetings and heartfelt congratulations to the Muslim faithful on the successful completion of the holy month of Ramadan.

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2027: Peter Obi Raises Doubt About Clinching ADC Presidential Ticket

Published

1 day ago

March 19, 2026

Eric

A former Labour Party presidential candidate, Peter Obi, has expressed reservations over his ability to clinch the African Democratic Congress’ (ADC) presidential ticket for the 2027 elections.

In a video address to his followers, Obi stated that receiving the ADC’s presidential ticket is not guaranteed.

He said: “Someone asked me how I know for sure that the ADC will give me the presidential ticket. I cannot be certain. What matters is that we are committed to a cause.

I keep wondering how we ended up in this situation and what might happen if we decide to stop working on this project.”

“Obi also said he is still committed to his goals, and he hasn’t let any reported threats stop him.

The former Labour Party presidential candidate praised his supporters for their resilience, recognizing the difficulties of working within opposition politics in Nigeria.

Obi thanked everyone who stayed loyal even though they didn’t get much benefit right away.

“I thank you for your sacrifice. It’s not easy to be in the opposition in Nigeria, and I’m thankful to those who keep supporting even when there’s no clear reward,” he said.

He, however, expressed uncertainty about the future, especially concerning political alliances and commitments.

“How can we be certain that the people we’re working with right now won’t leave us behind tomorrow? I wish we could be sure, but we can’t,” he said.

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Terrorism: Tinubu Seeks UK’s Assistance Amid Challenges

Published

2 days ago

March 19, 2026

Eric

President Bola Tinubu, on Wednesday, solicited partnership with the United Kingdom to crush terrorism in the Sahel before it engulfs the region.

“Our West African region faces complex terrorism challenges with roots in the Sahel,” Tinubu told King Charles III, Queen Camilla, Prince William, and elite guests, at a state banquet.

Speaking as the first Nigerian leader at the historic venue, Tinubu said: “As one of the largest nations within the Commonwealth, Nigeria looks forward to contributing constructively to the continued growth and vitality of this global community.

“Our West African region faces complex terrorism challenges with roots in the Sahel. Nigeria carries an enormous responsibility to help safeguard regional stability. In confronting these threats, partnership with the United Kingdom remains essential and I look forward to my meeting with Prime Minister Kier Starmer tomorrow.

“Despite these challenges, Nigeria approaches the future with hope and confidence. We are a nation of diverse and vibrant people, of young people dreaming big, of entrepreneurs with a global outlook, and of a hopeful people determined to realise their full potential.”

The Nigeria’s President said it was an honour to stand before the royal family, representing the people of Nigeria to reaffirm the enduring bonds of friendship, history, and shared purpose that have united Nigeria and the United Kingdom for several centuries.

“Allow me first to express my sincere appreciation to Your Majesty and to Her Majesty, The Queen for the warmth and generosity extended to me, my wife, Oluremi, and the Nigerian delegation.

“As the first Nigerian leader to speak here at Windsor Castle, which has served the British Crown for nearly a millennium, is particularly historic. Windsor has stood as a symbol of continuity, witnessing the steady evolution of institutions that have shaped governance, culture, and public life not only in Britain but far beyond these shores.

“Nigeria and the United Kingdom have shared more than just history; our two nations share a vision of progress and resilience. Today, we continue that journey, committed to building a future rooted in partnership, mutual respect, and common values.

“Standing here in Windsor Castle, one cannot help but reflect on Britain’s impact on modern democratic governance worldwide.”

He explained further: “The Magna Carta of 1215 laid the early foundations for the rule of law and the development of parliamentary democracy, establishing enduring ideals around liberty, accountable government, and civic responsibility.

“Great British thinkers and writers such as Thomas Hobbes, John Locke, and Edmund Burke helped to propagate those democratic ideals. Their influence continues to resonate to this day.

“The literary genius of William Shakespeare and other writers such as Charles Dickens, has enriched and shaped the English language, spoken by over 1.5 billion people worldwide.

“In Nigeria, elements of these traditions continue to inform the institutional foundations of our own republic. Our courts draw upon legal traditions rooted in English common law. Our parliamentary institutions reflect constitutional practices that evolved here over centuries. Our civil service structures have also drawn upon administrative models developed in Britain and adapted to Nigeria’s own national context.

“While institutions matter greatly, our people remain the strongest bridge between our two countries.”

He said the Nigerian community in the United Kingdom has become one of the most dynamic diaspora communities worldwide, adding: “Nigerians contribute enormously to the vitality of this nation. Within the National Health Service, Nigerian doctors and nurses play an indispensable role in delivering healthcare. Nigerian-trained doctors are among the largest groups of international medical professionals serving the NHS.”

He noted the exploits of Nigerians in the country especially in sports, saying: “in sport, rugby players such as Maro Itoje, footballers including Bukayo Saka and Eberechi Eze, and champion boxer Anthony Joshua, illustrate the remarkable human connection that links Nigeria and the United Kingdom.

“Our partnership is further strengthened through the Commonwealth of Nations, which connects 56 countries under Your Majesty’s leadership.”

He expressed confidence that the friendship between Nigeria and the United Kingdom will continue to grow.

“Finally, Your Majesty, I wish to express Nigeria’s deep gratitude to this great nation for the refuge and support it extended during the dark years of military dictatorship. Like many Nigerians involved in the pro-democracy struggle, I found safety here, and I recall that my residence was placed under Metropolitan Police surveillance for protection following threats from agents of the junta.

“That solidarity remains etched in our collective memory, and it is deeply humbling for me to stand before Your Majesty today as the President of a democratic Nigeria.

“On behalf of the Government and people of Nigeria, I thank Your Majesty, Her Majesty The Queen, Prince William and Catherine, the Princess of Wales, other members of the Royal Family, and the people of the United Kingdom for their longstanding friendship.

“In the spirit of friendship and our shared destiny, I invite you all to raise a glass with me:

“To the special bond between Nigeria and the United Kingdom, and to the bright future that we shall build together.”