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Opinion

The Oracle: The Politrickcians on the March Again for 2023 (Pt. 1)

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By Chief Mike Ozekhome

INTRODUCTION

The time has come once again. The season is here again. The season of the locusts. The season of the tricksters. The season of professor Peller’s abracadabra magicians. The season of “the more you look, the less you see”. The season of masses’ gullibility. The season of Political buccaneers, irredentists and turncoats. The season of the typical, archetypal Nigerian Politrikcian. They call them Politicians. I call them Politrikcians who play Politricks. They have already started assaulting our psyche, and insulting our individual and collective sensibilities, promising paradise on earth, banishment of poverty, enthronement of genuine and lasting democracy; observance of the Rule of Law, human rights and democratic dividends. They are already promising to replicate the Asian Tigers’ economic wizardry in our country. They will put to shame these Asian Tigers, namely, Japan, Singapore, Malaysia, Taiwan, China, South Korea, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Thailand and Vietnam. What can the Nigerian Politrickcians not do? Nothing!

THE CHAMELEON

Here comes the Chameleon; the Nigerian Politrickcian. He has dirty cocktail of merchandise to market. Dirty, odious wares of crass deceit, lies, tricks, double speak, perfidy, treachery. He has tons of perfidious wares of hallucinatory grandeau of delusion. He has them all, except clean wares that activate societal regeneration, a spirit of resurgimento and a spirit of nationalism. His merchandise includes political debauchery, larceny, libertinism, moral turpitude and economic peversion.

EMPTY AND VAINGLORIOUS PROMISES

In canvassing for votes, even within his own political party as an aspirant, for the purpose of winning the party primaries, he has started his well-worn game of theatrics; empty promises of doing the impossible. He will relocate us from mother earth to another of the nine planets, possibly Mars, Neptune, Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Pluto, Venus. He does not rule out the Moon, or even the hot sun. The sun’s hot rays will not burn us. He would provide the ready antidote. The Nigerian Politrickcian is the only homo sapien that can cover the sun with his palm. He can even hide behind his finger and pretend no one is seeing him. His immersion in higgledy – piggledy, raggle – taggle behavior is legendary.

He would storm the busy market and carry little children on their laps or shoulders; plait grandma’s hair; and grind tomatoes, tarodo and tatashe for market women. He would visit hospitals, donate blood and visit orphans and leprosarium. He will suddenly remember to carry out works of philanthropy and humanitarianism, donating cash gifts, motorcycles, hair dryers, sewing machines and pepper-grinding machines to his impoverished village folks. He will ride “Okada” with peasants; sit down at the road side with the akara seller and drink pap (ogi, akamu) with her. His new port of call is cheap bukaterias and mama-put eateries. There, he would kill point-and-kill live tilapia fish. He would eat kpomo, shaki, edon, abode, round-about, fuku and all imaginable offals. He will join the local people and dance atilogwu, mkpokiti, ugho, agbi, egbabonalimhi, igbokobia, swange, bata, agbaka, umale, omoko, udje, koroso, bankaura, sangaya, sharo, gurrunga, pamagirri, owogori, ikede, tsakan, maliki and kabulu.

The now desperate politrickcian would promise to tar all the roads in Nigeria, when he takes over, to every nook and cranny of every city and hamlet. Indeed, some of the roads would be tarred into the forests and farmlands, to help our beleaguered farmers with easy movement of their non-existent or harmattan-blighted harvests from herders-ravaged farmlands to city centres. What can he not do, the Nigerian politrickcian? Nothing! The farmer will be forcefully ordered to return to the farm, so as to stop polluting our big men’s air and clean environment in the cities.

Lest the farmer erroneously thinks he will be left alone in the lurch to till the soil, the Politrickcian will banish the use of antiquated hoe, cutlass, axe and shovel. He will purchase for the farmers’ use, harrows, harvesters, tractors, caterpillars and bulldozers. He would be given sacks, nay, barns of fertilizers, to ensure that the crops do very well. He will then be afforded silos to ensure the crops are well preserved. What can he not do? Nothing!

The Nigerian Politrickcian, with his children luxuriating in foreign ivory towers, and family swimming in blood money extracted from dying peasants and the hoi polio, talakawas, agberos and almajaris, will promise to build bridges on dry land and install dams in the wet, rainy Niger Delta. He will ensure that crops grow in our rivers, while fish will effortlessly swim on dry land. What can he not do? Nothing!

What about shelter for Nigerians? Oh, very simple! The Politrickcian is going to build houses for the about 214.1 million Nigerians (UN projection as at January, 2022). He will not forget to provide shelter for the underdeveloped fetuses still in their mother’s womb; and those on their mother’s laps. All the houses will be furnished with latest furniture, modern gadgets and all conveniences. Even domestic animals will have special quarters to live in, lest they mess up the environment, or disturb our peace and tranquility. We, God’s own chosen people, must not be disturbed by mere animals. What can the Politrickcian not do? Nothing!

Medicare challenges will be a thing of the past. Didn’t we defeat Ebola? Are we not effectively fighting Covid-19? Are more advanced Countries of the World, including the numero uno democracy, America, not now seeking our guidance and intervention as to how to curb the latest deadly terminal virus of Covid-19? So, for now, we are the new World whiz kids of medicine. If we can defeat Ebola and HIV/AIDS, Covid-19 pandemic will be a piece of cake for us to conquer. Fathers of Medicine will applaud us from their cold centuries-old graves: the father of medicine, Hippocrates (remember his popular cliché, “desperate diseases require desperate remedies”?), Florence Nightingale (the most famous Nurse ever, otherwise called “the Lady with the Lamp”), Archibald Mclndoe, Sigmund Freud, Marie Curie, James Blundell, Joseph Lister, Joseph Murray, Alexander Fleming, Edward Jenner and other medical pathfinders, will celebrate us from their graves.

Owning cars, choice cars, for that matter (the Nigerian Politrickcian will promise), will be as easy as buying groundnuts from a roadside hawker. Every Nigerian will ride any car of his choice, from Bugatti, Rolls-Royce, Lamborghini, McClaren, to  Jaguar; Prado, Escalade, Expedition, Porsche, Cadillac, Lykam hypersport, Koenigsegg, Excursion, Infinity, to Limousine; from Ferrari, Chevrolet to Ford SUV. Those who are tired of riding cars can fly their own private jets or helicopters. The Nigerian politrickcians will ensure this. What can he not do? Nothing!

Cripples and other physically challenged Nigerians currently on wheel chairs should better turn them into archival relics, because they would not have any need for them. All of them will drive cars of their choice. They only need to do one thing: vote the Politrickcian into office, and bingo, all his problems of mobility are over. For those who prefer artificial limbs, oh yes, Indian, American, European, Chinese, and Japanese limbs, will be imported in 40Ft containers through Apapa, Tin Can and Onne sea ports to substitute for their natural limbs. All our streets will be rid of beggars. Mansions will be built for them. Widows will be given new husbands, while widowers will be given new nubile girls to marry. The politrickcian will build shops and stores for road side hawkers. Sex workers will be trained in skills acquisition centres.

THE RENTED HALLELUJAH CROWD

The politrickcian will engage a rented chorusing hallelujah crowd (the hungry hoi polloi that are given some yards of wrappers, ‘mudus’ of rice, beans, salt, and paid between N200 and N2000 to swell the crowd and give a similitude and verisimilitude of a crowd puller). In the midst of the surging crowd, the Politrickcian verbalizes: “Fellow countrymen, my beloved kinsmen and women, I will not disappoint you. I will make a lasting difference. I am the redeemer and liberator you have been waiting for; the iconic avatar of your fortunes; the “Lamb of God” that taketh away all your sins, sorrows, pains, anguish, pangs, sweat, blood and serial disappointments. I will empower the powerless; give voice to the voiceless; strengthen the weak; give hope to the hopeless; encourage the downcast, the oppressed, repressed, marginalized and the hapless. I will defend the defenceless and enrich the poor by creating wealth. Read my lips: I will train all your children from crèche to the university and post graduate levels. I will give wives to all the bachelors and husbands to all the spinsters. Never again will any of you be shoeless at zero age, even whilst in your mother’s womb, let alone walking shoeless at the age of 10, like our Otuoke – born President Goodluck Jonathan. You will be luckier than this Goodluck.

FUN TIMES

There are two sides to every coin. Life itself contains not only the good, but also the bad and the ugly. Let us now explore these.

“One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, ‘Why are you home so early?’ because I was the only person that answered a question in my class. She said-wow, my son is a genius. What was the question? Jimmy replied, The question was- Who threw the trash can at the principal’s head?”  

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“You campaign in poetry. You govern in prose”. (Mario Cuomo).

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Opinion

The APC is jittery by Karounwi Adinni

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Very jittery about the coalition, and it should rightly feel so.

If coordinated properly, they have the capacity and numbers to upstage APC, from national politics.

If they manage to do it, it will be well-deserved.

The neo-liberal economic policies embarked on by BAT has shrunk the economy brutally.

The country has shrunk far more economically after removing fuel subsidy, particularly when electricity is still non-existent, raising production costs infinitely and lowering spending, making it a double-whammy for millions.

Electricity costs have been double even when its generation, distribution and transmission hasn’t improved significantly blunting claims of Nigerians needing to pay humongous amounts if they want electricity, even if several examples exist of Countries in the Global South with far more reasonable electricity charges with even more access to electricity.

Let’s now add devaluation, that skyrocketed costs of goods in an import-dependent economy and ran more millions into penury.

War-level inflation, rising costs of living, food prices off the ceiling.

And what they have been told is that, that is the only way to rejig the economy.

The supposed billions stolen by subsidy thieves hasn’t been retrieved, and perpetrators jailed.

Customs officials that permit fuel smuggling that justified subsidy removal weren’t arrested and jailed.

Yet, the people who weren’t responsible for these lapses were told to stomach these lapses and adjust to “SAP” tightening adjustments.

Minimum wage of 70k has still not been paid, what was done was a cynical 40k wage award across levels. This after fuel went from 185 to over 900 naira in some places, and skyrocketing prices of goods quarter-by-quarter.

In 2000, When Olusegun Obasanjo raised minimum wage from 250naira to 5500 naira, and Federal civil servants pay raised from 3500 to 7500, it triggered the phrase “GBEMU AREMU” (Aremu’s Largesse) that raised national income and subsequent spending across several sectors.

Teachers would buy Opel cars prompting applause when it was announced on assembly grounds, and several civil servants started building houses leading to a construction boom.

Federal contractors are being owed despite government claims of record revenues, and gaslighting statements of more allocations being accrued to Governors.

Let us now go back to pet peeves about allocation of projects.

Gilbert Chagoury’s HITECH got awarded the “Lagos-Calabar coastal road”

The same Chagoury’s HITECH got the Sokoto-Badagry road.

The same HITECH was awarded Benin-Akure-Ilesha road.

Abuja-Kaduna-Kano road was taken from Julius Berger and handed to HITECH.

Chagoury’s ITB also got $700m port revamp contract.

BAT says Alex Zingman who got the $250m contract to bring in tractors from Belarus is his friend.

When major contracts are given to closet accolytes in a family&friends scheme, how will the economy grow, when fairness is out of the window.
Multi-billion dollar contracts are being handed out attimes with no bidding to preferred contractors whom the President openly calls “His Partner” (Chagoury).

This is the samee Chagoury who returned $66million to Switzerland to get his conviction expunged.

He paid $300million to Nigeria’s government to protect him from prosecution for his role in helping General Sani Abacha loot the country by transferring National funds abroad.

Abacha’s special friend tha helped launder money abroad is BAT’s advisor and confidante whose companies get no-bidding contracts and people are to keep quiet.

Yet, APC stalwarts will attempt to gaslight people by saying “Relax, economy is getting better, BAT knows what he is doing”, even when diaspora Nigerians who come into the country exchange their Pounds and USD into Naira, and still cannot cope with the skyrocketing prices.

People are being told to sacrifice, while they see the Presidency buy yatch, new vehicles and Presidential Jet.

If it’s the ADC that will come and trigger the APC, we are all in for it.

Even if several of the characters in ADC have been in government for years. Distributed stealing is much better for the economy than singular appropriation.

Perhaps, when Nigerians change governments over and over, politicians will sit tight and apportion some efforts towards working for masses and treat people with some level of respect.

And the coalition should watch out for Aregbesola, the main reason that has given the coalition impetus. He is not a man who gives half-measures. And he is coming for revenge.

There is no fight as interesting to watch as tight buddies turn into implacable foes.

Knowing him, Aregbesola would likely have control of Lagos ADC, where he would bring in many elements of APC currently disaffected and angry into the party.

Being more conservative than even Tinubu, he would avoid trap of filling positions with non-Yorubas.

What would ensue in Lagos, with an Aregbesola-controlled ADC will be a fight for the ages, people who knew “Senator Bola Ahmed Tinubu” before he became “Asiwaju” or “Jagaban” would be brought into the fray.

Imagine for example, Muiz Banire, as Governorship candidate. Prominent families, in Lagos will be split down the middle, as Aregbesola comes for the jugular.

And woe betide APC, if the North refuses to vote for them and APC loses the Presidential election.

It makes the task of dismantling even Lagos from Tinubu’s hold after 28 years easier.

Tinubu’s current yes-men gaslighting people about economy should continue telling people all is well, even when economy squeezes people out.

In 2 years, they might lose everything. Both Federal and beloved Lagos.

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Opinion

Imperative of the Battle Against Impunity

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By Ayo Oyoze Baje

“When a leader encourages the culture of impunity, the society is lost and it makes the work harder for the rest of us”
– Prof. Wole Soyinka

One of the bitter facts about striking the delicate balance between criminality and justice is that if the perpetrators of sundry crimes are either treated with kid gloves, or left to walk our streets as free men, some others would view such as the best way to go. Unfortunately, from the persisting challenge of insecurity through the reckless squandering of public funds by some favoured political helmsmen to budget padding, crass impunity has remained the middle name of our democratic dispensation, sad to note.

For instance, recently Human rights lawyer, Femi Falana (SAN), criticized both the Federal and Benue State Governments for consistently failing to prosecute suspects arrested in connection with violent attacks that have resulted in the killing spree in Benue State. In the statement issued under the platform of the Alliance on Surviving COVID-19 and Beyond (ASCAB), of which he is the Chairman Falana lamented that although hundreds of suspects have been arrested over the years for crimes ranging from illegal possession of firearms to mass killings and kidnapping, most of them are never charged.

To him President Bola Tinubu’s recent directive to the Nigeria Police Force to arrest and prosecute all those involved in the latest wave of violence in the state is potentially symbolic.He pointed out that previous arrests had not led to convictions or justice for victims. Falana also berated the Chief of Defence Staff, General Christopher Musa, for alleging that residents of Yelwata community provided shelter for the killers. He described the statement as an attempt to shift blame onto victims instead of addressing the systemic failures of security and governance.

Such a sordid situation triggers the burning questions. Is the life of the voiceless victims not important to humanity in general and the country in particular? Are the perpetrators of the scary insecurity ravaging the country that has sent hundreds of thousands of innocent souls to their early graves more valued than that of the defenceless citizens? What is so difficult in identifying the sponsors, who arm them to kill fellow citizens and bring them to justice?

It is a similar situation when it comes to profligacy with regards to the way and manner some politicians squander public funds. Only recently there was disagreement between the National Assembly and the BudgIT over the issue of budget padding to the stupendous amount of N6.93 trillion in the 2025 federal government’s budget. Yet, some Nigerian contractors have remained unpaid for about a year! And there are allegations about some of them awarded contracts without going through the fiscal policy relating to the budget. That runs against Section 5 (b) of the Public Procurement Act. That is impunity, is it not? Yes, it is. But the pain in all of these is that the culture of impunity in places high and low has been with us for eons.

As yours truly highlighted through an opinion essay back in April 2017 all the hue and cry that trailed the probe into the $10billion(or is it $16 billion) sleaze in the power sector years back has long suffered from what physicists call the Doppler Effect, or died a Nigerian “natural death”. And as one warned back then that “was not the first time and it may not likely be the last unless government musters the much needed political will to bring the perpetrators to book.” But is the situation any better today? The answer is patently obvious.

These days we read about the humungous amounts, even in dollars found stashed in the private vaults of some former public office holders. From local government council chairmen to senators and governors, it is a recurring ugly decimal of national shame. But some hungry and disenfranchised poor citizens caught for stealing fowls and goats are either sent behind bars or hounded to hell!

It speaks volume about how those in government interpret words such as accountability, probity and transparency. It demeans us all as a people that those vested with the sacred trust of holding the destiny of men and materials of a country as vast as Nigeria are allowed to go Scot-free after committing various heinous crimes against the state. No one talks about the $12 billion Gulf War windfall again because some people are above the law. Not a few former state governors were once paraded by the EFCC as suspected to have siphoned state funds for self-aggrandizement.But years later some of them have the audacity to want to go back to their former offices, or find their ways to the hallowed Red chamber to make laws for you and yours truly. All these happen because of the insidious culture of impunity

As it was between 2015-2023, one is not surprised, therefore, that some corrupt politicians who defected from the PDP to the ruling APC are surreptitiously enjoying some ignoble immunity. It has happened before. All of these make a mockery of our judiciary process. Many of the proceedings are centuries away from the Information Technology and Communication(ICT) age as obsolete type – writers are still used for recording purpose. Series of laughable injunctions take over the well scripted drama of the absurd, characterized by the shameless display of former politicians suspected of grievous financial crimes, raising their hands in bravado as their paid praise worshippers fan their battered and bruised ego.

It is little of a surprise therefore, that virtually all notable institutions of government; from ministries to departments and agencies have in the past years of our democratic experience been probed for one fraud or the other. But after years of turning their searchlight to unveil the rattling skeletons in their cupboards, nothing meaningful comes out of it.
To several of those accused of such financial misdemeanor Nigeria is one big, slumbering elephant to be milked dry. And the easiest way to have a piece of the national cake is to get elected or appointed into any plum political post. But for how long can we go on this way? Not much longer, I dare say.

Corruption, which is a debasement of set moral values and a violation of standard professional ethics is like a two – edged sword that cuts both the victim and the misguided beneficiary. When those who have short changed the system are not brought to speedy justice it emboldens others with similar criminal inclinations to commit worse crimes.

It is responsible, as in the Nigerian politico-economic situation for the countless pot hole – riddled roads, the epileptic power supply, pervasive preventable diseases and mass youth employment that have turned into daylight monsters haunting us all.

As one admonished the then President Muhammadu Buhari-led administration in 2017 so I do now to the President Bola Tinubu-led government. To shame all critics he must muster the political will, backed with the enabling laws by the National Assembly to transform both the EFCC and the ICPC into well toothed bulldogs that bark and bite. And no one, no matter his political persuasion, must be above the rule of law. As Isabel Allende aptly stated: ” Nothing is as dangerous as power with impunity”.

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Opinion

Skills Acquisition: Way Forward for Nigeria’s Educational Development

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By Ayo Oyoze Baje

“The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways” – Robert Greene

As concerned Nigerians keep deliberating on the best way to navigate the twists and turns inherent in our education delivery system, if yours truly has his way secondary school students should be spending three days of each week for theoretical knowledge and two for practical skills development. These include skills such as tailoring/fashion design, hair dressing and carpentry. Others include building construction, painting, domestic farming, singing, acting, oratory and comedy.

This has become more expedient because in 2023, Nigeria ranked 100th out of 100 countries in Coursera’s Global Skills Report in terms of skill proficiency. Incidentally, the country also ranked low within the Sub-Saharan Africa, placed 12th out of 13 countries.In fact, other African nations such as Botswana and Cameroon outperformed Nigeria in the same report. This was an indication of a significant skills gap in the country. But recent indicators suggest an increase performance that should be built on. For instance, Nigeria showed the fourth-highest year-on-year growth rate for Professional Certificates enrollments on Coursera. This clearly suggests a growing awareness and participation in skills development initiatives which should be built on.

For instance, the unemployment rate in Nigeria stands at about 4.84% in 2025, according to Statista. com. This translates to an estimated 5.74 million people who are unemployed. Similarly, the youth unemployment rate is around 7.50% according to Trading Economics.

Given the current global influence of information technology, the expanding impact of Artificial intelligence ( AI ) and the soaring influence of climate change. Others include the increasing need to ride the freaky waves of economic survival, and the stifling space for employment, not only in Nigeria but across the globe. Yet, the country is abundantly blessed with rare talents in different fields of human endeavour.

Mention names such as Silas Adekunle, known for his robotics expertise and the world’s first intelligent gaming robot or Riya Karumanchi, who invented a device to assist visually impaired individuals the importance of skills acquisition in the development of the talents of our youth gradually dawns on us.

It is a similar scenario when the name of
Hassan and Hussaini Muhammad, who created a way to convert petrol, water, salt, and alum into hydrogen cooking gas crop up. And out there there are other young Nigerian inventors such as Khalifa Aminu (FM transmitter), Muazzam Sani (remote-controlled car), and the team behind the smart walkway light and automatic irrigation. The importance of skills acquisition cannot therefore, be over emphasized.
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Put in its simple terms, skills acquisition is crucial for Nigerian students academic development, because it enhances their employability, as well as boosts entrepreneurship. In fact, it contributes to overall national development. According to experts on educational development it empowers students to be self-reliant, reduces poverty and unemployment, and also provides them with a global perspective.

The impact and import of students’s skills acquisition is amply deployed in Bells University of Technology, Ota, Ogun state. There, students are exposed to the practical aspect of whatever course they are studying such that seasoned professionals are invited to deliver the practical aspect of their theoretical knowledge.Such is the impact that engineering students have become problem solvers. They have constructed pavements, fences, designed and built solid infrastructure.

Furthermore, the Centre for Agricultural Technology and Entrepreneurial Studies (CATES) has come up as a key initiative at the same university. As a noble cause it was established to foster practical, solution-oriented approaches to agricultural and entrepreneurial development within the university and the wider community. The skills promoting aspect of it is that CATES focuses on areas such as poultry technology, aquaculture, cassava farming, and mushroom culture. It also operates a vegetable farm and a plantain farm on campus. All these explain why graduates of the citadel of knowledge become self employed, with several of them kick starting the process right from the University as undergraduates. All these boost their financial independence while they contribute to the Gross Domestic Product, GDP.

Skills acquisition therefore,
increases employability, more so in today’s competitive job market. Having relevant skills makes students more attractive to employers. These include skills such as digital literacy, communication, and problem-solving, which are highly valued across various industries.Entrepreneurship programs teach them how to start and manage their own businesses. This eventually, leads to economic growth and improved living standards with appreciable Human Development Index, HDI. By equipping students with practical skills, skill acquisition programs can assist to lift individuals and families out of the terrifying trap of poverty and ultimately reduce the unemployment rate for the country.

From the global perspective, many skills are transferable across borders. This is one good lesson learnt from the COVID-19 pandemic. Nigerian students can latch on it to participate in the global economy through remote work or international collaborations. It also fosters confidence in students, assist them to adapt to the global socio-economic dynamics,while instilling a sense of accomplishment in them, thereby contributing to overall personal growth.

Of great significance, is that
a skilled workforce is essential for the nation’s economic growth and technological advancement. Overall, the skill acquisition programs contribute to building a more productive and innovative society. So Nigeria work on the report which highlighted specific skill areas where it lags, especially technology and data science.

Nigeria should also learn from countries that stand out for their high levels of skill acquisition and development. These include Northern European nations such as Finland, Norway, and Sweden which consistently rank high, along with Switzerland, Singapore, and Germany. These countries often prioritize education, training, and creating opportunities for their populations to acquire and utilize a wide range of skills. As rightly noted by Malcolm X: ” Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today”.

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