Adding Value
Adding Value: How Your Choice Affects Your Life by Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,
The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose – J. Martin Kohe
One of the most powerful desires of every individual is freedom. Freedom is characterised by true independence of any human being. When you have freedom, you can decide what you want, and what you don’t want. When you have freedom, you call the shots, and you won’t be deterred by what others feel or think about you.
This is how freedom works; as an employee, you are always at the beck and call of your employer, you will have to do the wish of your boss if you want to keep your job. As a child or apprentice, you are technically bound to obey your parents or boss pending when you are capable of standing on your feet. As a government official, you are bound to protect the government you serve, and where you feel the government is derailing, you can either resign or forever keep your mouth shut.
The origin of freedom can be traced back to the Book of life (Bible) when Adam and Eve were instructed by God to eat all fruits except a particular fruit. Due to the curious nature of man, they were deceived by the serpent which told them that when they eat the fruit, they will see and know what God knows. The point here is that Adam and Eve had unfettered freedom in the garden of Eden, but they messed up the freedom due to the choice and decision they settled for.
Why is freedom important? Freedom is important because it enables us to have a choice. Our choice determines the kind of freedom we will eventually have. If you make the right choice, you are more likely to have more opportunities to succeed, but when you make the wrong choice, you are bound to pay for it. Every choice we settle for has its own consequences, but the good thing about choice is that it prepares us for the greater journey ahead. For instance, during the COVID-19 pandemic, while some people were complaining, creative minds were exploring opportunities because every problem provides corresponding opportunities if you can think out of the box.
It should be noted that every choice you make affect other people. That’s why it’s important to always consider your family and close friends before taking any risk. Avoid making important decisions under any influence. It is imperative we act responsibly because the choice we settle for can define us. According to Winston Churchill “The price of greatness is responsibility”.
Per Sam Silverstein said, “Making choices also mean accepting the idea that we are part of a bigger picture. We are not alone in our choices. Our choices affect not only ourselves but the people around us. Our choices shape our actions. Our actions are received and interpreted by those around us. These actions shape the opinions and feelings of those individuals, and ultimately, the actions they take for or against our behalf.”
Choice is a powerful weapon in the minds of rational beings. To know the importance of choice, take an inventory of your life for the last 10, 20, 30, or even 40 years since you came of age, and evaluate all the mistakes, successes, opportunities and disappointments you may have encountered. One thing is certain, you will wish you can roll back the hands of the clock to either fix the past, or wished you would have done certain things differently.
The good news about making a bad choice or mistake is that it doesn’t define you. Each of us has made mistakes in life and as such it will be foolhardy to be hard on yourself. If you make a mistake, see it as an experience and truly appreciate it because it means you are doing something and learning at the same time. Yesterday can be defined as what happened in the past, and today can be defined as what is currently happening which can translate into opportunities if properly nurtured in order to attract the opportunities of tomorrow.
Why do I make this analysis? It is your mistakes or choices that made it possible for you to have experience which enables you to make a better choice. If you had not made the mistakes, would you be in a better position to make an informed decision? Your answer is as good as mine, so don’t be hard on yourself. The irony of life is that anyone making a mockery of you might have the worst experience. It is just that it’s not seen in public because every one of us is battling with a secret frustration.
Do you know that your choice can be used to determine your interest in life? Choice plays a great role in choosing who you will be your life partner. Choice determines your interest in any academic discipline. Choice determines the kind of businesses you engage in. Choice shows your preference for the food you eat, the cloth you wear and the religion you prefer.
Choice can be related to feelings. But feelings is more attached to emotions. Your emotions can be controlled by how you programme what happens in your mind. Feelings allow you to follow sheepishly without ascertaining the facts. But you have the correct facts, you will know how to act in a normal way. Question. Can you have feelings for a goat? No. When you have facts, you will know it’s improper to have feelings for a family member.
Facts give you awareness to make the right choice – it’s just like when society justify that men are natural cheats. Let me ask you if the creator made it possible for anyone to die when they have sex with someone other than their lawful married partner, will men or ladies engage in indiscriminate sex? The point here is that you can control your emotions and feelings with your choice of thoughts. You can control your feeling because you’re the one having them. Moral: Principles make you calculative, while fidelity makes you intentional.
It’s important to stress that you can control your desires in life because you are in charge of your life. You own and control what you want people to hear, see and feel. It’s just like driving a car. Who controls and directs the car? I agree as humans, we have an impulse, but let’s analyze the issue of impulse with a mad man or woman. We have seen one before, if they are mad, why don’t we jump into a lagoon since we know they are mad instead of walking by the sideway. Why don’t they bump into a moving car as opposed to walking by the sideway? That tells you they have some control; no one is controlling them like a robot. If a mad man or woman can have such control, how much more a rational mind?
Let me share with you how to make the right choice
Follow your conscience
The best way to determine if you are on the right side of life is when you have peace of mind. You can never have peace of mind if you are not at peace with your conscience. Any human being who doesn’t have a conscience is a living corpse.
Explore Options
Before you decide, explore other alternatives. Don’t be in a hurry to make a choice. The more options you have, the better opportunity you have to make the right choice. Take your time to gather all your facts and information until you feel satisfied. Remember, when in doubt, do not act.
Think about the positive outcomes
Always think of the big picture. Quit thinking of the short term. Refuse to make a choice that will make you regret tomorrow. When you make a choice/decision, try and stick to them even if it’s unpopular. No one knows what you feel more than you, neither do they know you better than you know yourself.
In conclusion, we can choose to be happy, or not. We can choose how we react to hard times in our life, with positivity or negativity. We can choose to take responsibility for our actions or blame others for our failures. We can choose to be a victor or take on the role of a victim. What choices are you making in your life? Are they the ones that result in positive consequences?
Remember that according to Any Rand “Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.”
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Adding Value
Adding Value: Spiritual Connectivity of Happiness and Opportunities by Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,
Happiness is something everyone should strive for. The pleasure and joy that comes with a blissful mind is priceless and unimaginable. There are certain things that keeps the mind in a state of perpetual happiness, and they varies. To some, it entails having money, children, education, job, and fulfilling a vision, while to others, it means singing, getting married to a dream partner, traveling, cooking, among others. The list is endless. And if I may ask, what makes you happy?
Personally, I derive joy when I put smiles on people’s faces. I can confidently say, I can be too kind to a fault. Sometimes, when I have a heavy heart, to decongest my sad state of mind, I may decide to be a blessing to someone who is experiencing misfortune. This act makes me feel happy and whenever I complete the act, I do feel a sense of fulfillment like a heavy burden has left my body. Isn’t it true therefore, that one gets what they want faster when they assist other people to get what they desire.
Being happy is indeed a state of mind. Sometimes, we think other people can make us happy. Sometimes we tend to attach our happiness to our partners and friends instead of ourselves. There’s no doubt the people in our lives have a role to play in making us happy, but the big factor responsible for our happiness is our mindset and perspective to life.
Let me share a practical example. One day, while I was in college, I was having a decent conversation with a friend of mine, and he said to me, ‘Henry, have you ever thought of having a girlfriend’? He touted me saying, you know you are one of the handsome guys in college and ladies love you so much. I was curious to know why he asked such a question so I asked, why do I need a girlfriend? He said they will make me happy. I said, that’s interesting to know. I asked him, so are you telling me, the simple reason you are happy is because you have a girlfriend? He said not really. I said to him, happiness is an inside job. As a matter of fact, I showed him a book by John Powell titled, Happiness is an inside job, which I was reading at the said time.
I further told him that ladies don’t make men happy, rather they complement their happiness, and vice versa. The mistake most people make is focusing their joy on human beings, and when they are disappointed, they begin to lament. True happiness should be vested in causes not material things. Material things are important, no doubt, but they are not as important as causes, especially as it relates to happiness.
Did you know that there’s a spiritual connection between happiness and success? Yes, this is so true because when one is happy, there’s a certain level of joy, satisfaction and energy that comes to them. The energy makes them passionate about a cause, and when one is passionate about a cause, they will be consistent in pushing the brand which will ultimately attract opportunities.
The importance of happiness cannot be overemphasized. When one is genuinely happy, he will not be stressed while working. That explains why it’s always good to love the job you do, and when you love what you do, what you do will ultimately love you, and this will attract opportunities.
Overtime, I have seen that people, who love what they do produce a certain level of results more than those who just do the job they are paid to do. Experience has shown that when people are adequately compensated for the work they do, they tend to do it with joy and when a work is done with a job, the result tends to be different.
Whenever I need a certain level of work, I always look for those who are gifted and talented in that craft before I explore the option of those who are intelligent and skillful. This is because someone who is talented or gifted in a particular craft has a form of blessings or anointing, which can produce a glowing effect on the work. I call such effects the spirituality of success because it has more impact than anyone who has acquired the skill or studied the art in school, or from a form of training.
The question we need to ask is how can one attract opportunities? The first step in attracting opportunities is by being happy. Nobody likes to be associated with an angry mind. There’ a rule of thumb that says, when you smile at someone, they are bound to smile back even if they are into witchcraft. Nobody likes to give a job to an angry person.
The connectivity of happiness and success was aptly captured by Dr. Yomi Garnett. According to him, “Those who attain true success are those who derive joy and happiness as they invest their time and energy in worthwhile pursuits. This is hardly surprising, for true success is not merely a destination, but a journey. If a journey is truly worthwhile, should it not also be pleasurable”?
How true can this statement be? True joy comes when one’s passion, vocation and profession are in alignment. Imagine the joy and fun that one will get when getting paid for having fun. The feeling and experience are, indeed, priceless.
It’s unfortunate that many people don’t understand that there’s a spiritual effect in whatever one does. For example, someone who is called to be a lawyer will do an expectational job as a lawyer, he won’t struggle to read, comprehend or even attract favour from clients, judges and fellow attorneys. In fact, the universe will conspire to work for him because he will attract opportunities due to the happiness he invests in himself. Now contrast that with someone who studied law just because he likes the name or because his parents influenced him to become a lawyer. The same principle is applicable to other professions, vocations and skill related jobs.
In conclusion, if you want to attract opportunities and blessings into your life, consider being happy, don’t attach your happiness to anyone, rather focus on a noble cause which will bring joy and impact in the lives of people. When you do so, you will subconsciously attract blessings into your life.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Adding Value
Adding Value: Take Responsibility by Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,
Apart from having the fear of God, one of the greatest desires any individual is a responsible life partner or spouse. In fact, a responsible partner transcends beyond ability to provide as there exists many, who can provide, are still irresponsible. Being responsible is priceless. Being responsible is a currency and goodwill which is not seen among cheap people.
While little girls in high schools are thrilled about the handsomeness of boys, and big ladies in colleges are attracted to the intelligence and financial capacity of guys, mature working ladies are more concerned about the security and loyalty of guys. This set of mature ladies are not concerned about the physical looks and financial capacity of guys. Though money and good looks are important, but they can’t be compared to loyalty and security. This is because a man may not have money, may not look great, and may not even be rich in intelligence, but when a lady sees him as responsible, with prospects, she might take him very seriously, and vice versa.
Asides character, irresponsibility is one thing that detaches a man from a lady. As a matter of fact, when a man senses a lady has been sexually exposed to a lot of men, withdrawal syndrome begins to set in, especially if he’s familiar with such men. Irresponsibility can be attributed to lack of good character or why will a responsible woman be messing around with several men.
One may wonder if this article is about the relationship between a man and a woman. The simple answer is no. The article is about life. I had to begin with human beings to x-ray the importance of living a responsible life. The truth is nobody likes to relate with an irresponsible person whether at work, church, family or events. An irresponsible person will have trust issues, fail in leadership, suffer from accountability issues, and will never be counted as reliable. If negative forces wish to deal with a person, they send an irresponsible people their way, and the individual’s life or work will be completely damaged.
As human beings, we are responsible for our life. It is what we sow that we reap. When we love, we are bound to reap love, when we sow hatred, it has a way of coming back to us. When we sow kindness, kindness will locate us in due time. When we sow hard work, it has a way of paying us back in the near future. When we help the less privileged, we accumulate the grace and mercy of God in the universe. When we invest in people, we tend to open doors, and like a magnet, attracts blessings, favours and opportunities our way.
The question we need to ask ourselves therefore, is what kind of life are we living? According to Socrates, “an unexamined life is not worth living”. Being able to take stock of one’s life is one of the best things that can happen to anyone. Just like a businessman takes inventory of his products, one must be intentional to live a life of purpose. Failure to do so is inviting Karma.
It’s instructive to note that taking responsibility involves a process. It is the foundation one lays that determines the kind of house they live in. For instance, if your tummy aches, what you ate yesterday is the likely the cause; if you are depressed, the culprit is the thought you meditated on the night before; if you are broke, it is usually because you mismanaged your money earlier; if you are overweight, it is because you over-ate in the past. Did you see that actions have consequences and it’s your responsibility to fix yourself with the right thoughts and actions.
The moral of the story is that your reality today is the consequence of your thoughts and actions of yesterday. And your future will reflect your thinking and deeds of today. It’s important to note that no demon is powerful enough to make you reap what you did not sow, neither is any demon more powerful than Karma. If you are in doubt, sow a seed today, and it will show tomorrow.
So, it is important for one to take responsibility for their lives. Nobody will fix you more than you can fix yourself; nobody can help you more than you can help yourself; nobody can save you more than you can save yourself; nobody can inspire you more than you can inspire yourself; and nobody can make you live a responsible life if you are not determined to be responsible.
It’s sad to see people who haven’t taken time to plan their lives, yet expect other people to fix them. Some people don’t invest in themselves by reading, researching, taking a class, course, learning a skill, traveling, investing in their businesses, relationship, network, volunteering in an association, and adding value to their lives. Sometimes, lazy minds lie idle waiting for the Lamb of God, who will take away their sins and burdens. These lazy minds fail to understand that everyone is dealing with a secret frustration.
In conclusion, decide today to take charge of your life, and see how life will unfold positively for you.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Adding Value
Adding Value: Unleashing the Keys of Life to Succeed by Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,
There is a key to unlocking everything in life in the guise of manuals and codes. Without the manual or code, a car, laptop, phone and other equipment won’t be activated or function properly. Without the right key, a door won’t open. Without the right foundation, success will be a far cry. An individual must therefore, know the right formula if they wish to succeed.
Success, like every other endeavours, including staying healthy and going to heaven, definitely has a key. In the same vein, everyone, in whatever guise, has a key to manifest every of his desire, and it behoves on one to do all legally and morally possible to discover it.
Life is truly a mystery. Nobody except the creator can unravel it. So to understand and unravel life, one must understand and get closer to the source or creator. This is just the simple truth of how life really works. Keys are like codes, formulas, and secrets. When you have the right code to any bank vault, you can break into it; when you have the formula to any mathematical problem, you won’t have a challenge solving the equation, but when you have the wrong formula, you will arrive at the wrong answer. The same principle is applicable to secrets; every human being has a secret, the ability to discern one’s secret will go a long way in assisting them to get their desires.
Let’s take a case of a man who wants to woo a lady. The first thing he does is figure out a close friend or family member who knows the lady in question, to decipher what she likes or wants in a man. This is because some ladies are attracted to men who are good with words while some are attracted to gifts, services, physical touch and time. If you would like to know more about these five love languages, I will strongly recommend you read Gary Chapman’s five love languages.
Keys are very symbolic in life; they are the foundation of life because without the foundation it will be difficult to resolve any concern. For instance, as a new employee in a company, to succeed, it will be important to understand the principles, values and the culture applicable in that company or organization. In any profession, whether law, medical, engineering, entertainment, political or religion, one needs to understand how it works, and the necessary structure needed to succeed. Even in the academic industry, one must know how to use the right words to convey the right message.
Keys are manuals, and when you have them, life will be smooth. Imagine operating a phone, car, television, laptop or other products without the manual; one is bound to encounter challenges, and the tendency of the product not functioning in optimum capacity is possible.
There is a story about how a man whose car broke down along the way, while he was trying to figure out how to fix the car, he encountered several difficulties, and the car refused to start. He tried all he could, but all to no avail. While he was trying to figure out what to do, an old man reached out to him to know if he needed help. He dismissed the old with the mindset he can’t do anything. After trying several times to fix the car, he couldn’t. He had to allow the old man to try. The man opened the burnet of the car and hit a knob and told the man to start the car, and the car began to work. The man was startled and asked the old man, what’s his name man. He said, Henry Ford, the inventor and owner of Ford Motors.
What’s the moral of this story? Henry Ford has the master key to fixing the car. He was able to fix the car because he’s the inventor. Henry Ford has the master key. If he wasn’t the inventor, it would have been difficult for him to fix the car. Note that another person can also fix the car if he has the codes and manuals laid down by the inventor.
Overtime, I have discovered that the ability to relate with human beings in a close way is one of the best way to understand them. Everybody has a key that works for them, one’s ability to decipher this key can be a gateway to success, and this comes with timing. So, as you move along in life, please always endeavor to have a basic understanding of the industry, company or social-political space because it will go a long way in determining the height you can attain.
In conclusion, keys are life’s oxygen, which if missing, leads to a time bomb effect, but when available leads to a floodgate of success.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as t
he Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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