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Exercise Regimen For Making A Good Relationship Great



Do a Google search on how to get your best body and you’ll be inundated with pages of training tips. For those who want to take that same, proactive approach to creating your best relationship, I have your “exercise regimen” below.

  1. Do the things you did the first year you were dating.

As the months and years roll on, we tend to slink into our proverbial sweatpants and get lazy in our relationship. We lose our patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness, understanding and the general effort we once made toward our mate. Think back to the first year of your relationship and write down all the things you used to do for your partner. Now start doing them again.

  1. Ask for what you want.

Over time, we assume that our partner knows us so well that we don’t need to ask for what we want. What happens when we make this assumption? Expectations are set and just as quickly, they get deflated. Those unmet expectations can leave us questioning the viability of our partnership and connection. Keep in mind that “asking for what you want” extends to everything from emotional to sexual wants.

  1. Become an expert on your partner.

Think about who your mate really is and what excites him or her (both physically and emotionally). We can become consumed by what WE THINK he/she wants, as opposed to tuning in to what truly resonates with the other person. Remember that if it’s important to your partner, it doesn’t have to make sense to you. You just have to do it.

  1. Don’t ask “how was your day.”

At the end of a long day, we tend to mentally check out of our lives and consequently, our relationship. We rely on the standard question, “How was your day?” Generally, that boring question will yield a boring answer such as, “Fine, how was yours?” This does nothing to improve your connection and instead, can actually damage it because you’re losing the opportunity to regularly connect in a small way.

Instead, try asking things like, “What made you smile today?” or “What was the most challenging part of your day?” You’ll be amazed at the answers you’ll get, with the added benefit of gaining greater insight into your significant other.

  1. Create a weekly ritual to check in with one another.

It can be short or long but it begins with asking each other what worked and didn’t work about the previous week and what can be done to improve things this coming week. Additionally, use this opportunity to get on the same page with your schedules, plan a date night and talk about what you would like to see happen in the coming days, weeks, and months in your relationship. Without an intentional appointment to do a temperature check, unmet needs and resentments can build.

  1. Keep it sexy.

What might change in your relationship if both you and your partner committed to increasing the behaviors you each find sexy and limiting those that aren’t? Think about this in the broadest form. “Sexy” can certainly refer to bedroom preferences, but it also represents what excites us about our mate in our day-to-day lives. Do you find it sexy if he/she helps with the housework? Do you find it “unsexy” when he/she uses the restroom with the door wide open? Talk about what it specifically means to “keep it sexy” in your relationship. Be amazed, be humored, be inspired!

  1. Get creative about the time you spend together.

Break out of the “dinner and a movie” routine and watch how a little novelty can truly rejuvenate your relationship. On a budget and can’t go big? Jump on the internet to look for “cheap date ideas” and be blown away at the plethora of options. Can’t afford a sitter? Try swapping babysitting time with friends that have kids. It’s free and they will likely be thrilled to take your kids because they will get to take advantage when they drop their kids at your place.

  1. Get it on.

Unless you have committed to an asexual partnership, sex, sexual contact and touching (kissing, holding hands, cuddling etc.) are vital components of a romantic relationship. The frequency is of course, up to you and it’s imperative that you discuss your ideas about it in order to prevent resentment. Rare are the moments when both partners are “in the mood” at the exact same second, but that doesn’t mean that you have to decline their advances. Remind yourself that you will almost always “get there” after the first few minutes and that an intimate interaction of any kind builds connection and elevates your mood and health. Bear in mind that you are never required to say “yes.” If you truly don’t feel it, the best thing you can do is to postpone. Just make sure that you initiate or accept within a reasonable amount of time thereafter.

  1. Take a (mental) vacation, everyday.

Life and work distractions can become paramount in our minds and that leaves little time or energy for our partner. Practice the art of “Wearing the Relationship Hat.” This means that (barring any emergencies or deadlines), we are fully present when we’re with our mate. We truly hear what they are saying (instead of pretending to listen), we leave our distractions behind and we don’t pick them up again until the sun comes up and we walk out the door.

Some tips to improve communication

Sadly, we aren’t born with the innate ability to effectively communicate but it doesn’t mean that we can’t learn. Use the following techniques to better navigate and limit the tension in your relationship:

  1. Take “fight breaks” when you need them.

Before you’ve hit the point of no return and as you see the stress beginning to escalate, one or both of you can call a break so that cooler heads can prevail. The crux of this tool lies in the fact that you must pick a specific time to revisit the conversation (I.e. 10 minutes from now, 2:00pm on Tuesday etc.) so that closure can be achieved.

  1. Dig deep to unearth your true feelings.

In most disagreements, we communicate from the “Top Layer,” which are the obvious emotions such as anger, annoyance and the like. Leading from this place can create confusion, defensiveness and ultimately distract from the real issue. Start communicating from the “Bottom Layer” (i.e. What feelings are really driving your reactions such as disappointment, rejection, loneliness, disrespect etc.).

This type of expression creates an instant sense of empathy because it requires honesty and vulnerability to share from this space. Tension will dissipate and from here, solutions can spring. Just be sure to use kind, non-reactive phrasing when expressing these bottom layer feelings, such as “I felt hurt by…” as a replacement for “You’re such a jerk” etc.

  1. Seek to understand … not agree.

Easy in concept, difficult in application. Conversations quickly turn to arguments when we’re invested in hearing our partner admit that we were right or when we are intent on changing his/her opinion. Choose to approach a conversation as an opportunity to understand your significant other’s perspective as opposed to waiting for them to concede. From this perspective, we have an interesting dialogue and prevent a blow out or lingering frustration.

  1. Make your apology count.

It’s well understood that apologizing is a good thing but it only makes a real impact when you mean it. Saying things like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you see it that way” are a waste of time and breath. Even if you don’t agree that your action was wrong, you will never successfully argue a feeling.

Accept that your mate feels hurt and from this place, a real apology can have a significant impact. When

you love your partner and hurt them (intentionally or not) you can always legitimately apologize for the pain you caused regardless of your perspective on what you did or didn’t do.

You are now, officially armed with the comprehensive exercise routine to fully reshape your relationship. Trim the fat and build your hottest relationship for life!

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How to Keep Your Man Completely Faithful to You




Infidelity is a huge concern in relationships.

Whether you’ve been cheated on before or just generally want to know how to stop your boyfriend or husband from cheating on you in the future, it’s important to first understand why men cheat on women they love.

That’s right. Most men don’t cheat because they’re not in love with their wife or girlfriend anymore. Rather, otherwise happily married men say they cheat because they want more variety in their lives or they feel something is missing in an area they believe the woman in their life simply can’t fill.

Some men complain of being bored. Or they say want to feel adored by their partners. Ot they want to assert their freedom. Or they’re tired of feeling like a disappointment.

They may want a partner who places them at the center of their life, and they no longer feel like a top priority in yours.

Sometimes men cheat because you are speaking different love languages. And some men say they’re unfaithful because they’re driven by a biological directive to procreate with as many women as possible in order to ensure the survival of the species.

Whatever the reason, men, like women, have an innate need to feel respected and appreciated by their partners.

It’s disconcerting for a man to realize he has disappointed his partner in some way. After all, he wants to be her hero.

With these reasons why men cheat in mind, here are 10 things you can do to keep your man happy, interested and faithful (hopefully) forever.

1. Be willing to initiate sex.

Many men see your interest in sex as a measurement of their own desirability. Help your boyfriend or husband feel desired by making sure he knows how badly you want him.

2. Be open to experimentation.

It can be easy to get comfortable, and fear of the unknown may stop you from being open to different sexual experiences. Let your boyfriend or husband know that you’re willing and eager to try new things with you.

I’m not saying you should engage in any kind of sexual activity you find repulsive, but open your mind to the idea of being playful and experiencing new things with the man you love.

3. Don’t be overly accommodating.

Sometimes in a relationship, a woman can become too accommodating. Men get into relationships with a very clear picture of what a lifetime partner looks like and this is often in stark contrast to whom he may have dated casually.

Women work to become the person their partner wants them to be, and in doing so, they lose themselves. Then one day, the man realizes this is may he asked for — but he ‘s no longer sure it’s what he really wants.

Maintain a healthy sense of self in your relationship and be true to who you really are, not who you think he wants you to be.

4. Take care not to become controlling.

Often without realizing it, when we get into relationships, we attempt to control the other person so they’ll do what works best for us.

This means engaging in destructive relationship habits such as complaining, blaming, criticizing, nagging, threatening, punishing and bribing or rewarding in order to control.

5. Make sure he knows how much you appreciate him.

Sometimes when women get the guy and get married, they begin to get a false sense of security. Remember, being in a relationship with soneome is voluntary. A person can leave at any time.

With the divorce rate in this country, we need to remember how important it is to maintain a positive relationship, not simply to acquire one.

6. Encourage him to take time for himself.

Some men cheat because they begin to feel hemmed-in by the relationship. Engaging in an affair can provide them the sense of freedom they lose in a relationship.

Allow your man time for himself without you. Don’t try to monopolize all your guy’s time. Be open to time apart for him to spend with friends, pursue hobbies, etc. so he does not feel he has no freedom.

7. Be aware of your emotions.

Whether or not we are aware of it, women are masters at using their emotions to communicate volumes without speaking any words. We communicate anger, rage, sadness, and disappointment that is received by our partners.

Instead of taking that as a cue to do something different, some men begin to look for another partner who idolizes them the way you used to. Don’t forget, your man wants to know he lights you up — not that he is constantly disappointing you.

8. Prioritize your relationship.

Often, when a man cheats, you will find the woman is also having an affair that’s not sexual. It’s more socially appropriate.

This affair takes the form of prioritizing something — anything — over the relationship. This could be a job, children, a sick relative, a charity or anything that puts her man lower on her totem pole than the first position.

Prioritize your relationship over everything else. This is the relationship you want to last for all your life. Other things will fade away and the relationship will still be there if you tend to it carefully.

9. Learn his love language.

If you are not familiar with Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages”, please read it. It has powerful potential to save marriages.

Learn your man’s love language and speak it to him regularly. He will know he is loved and remain true to you.

10. Recognize his relationship patterns.

I don’t know how to combat the biology argument. Some men simply believe it is hard-wired into their genes to have sexual relations with as many women as they can.

If this is your boyfriend or husband’s belief, it probably won’t matter what you do. He’s going to cheat.

Try to recognize men like this early on by asking about their dating history. If this is a pattern, he probably isn’t likely to change just because you love him “best.”

Your best defense against this problem is being discriminating from the start.

If you’ve read this article and now wonder what his role is in all of this, here’s the thing — I wanted to write an article for women, and so I did.

I encounter more women in pain over their mate’s infidelity than I do men, so this is intended to help you feel a sense of empowerment over the situation.

If you are unhappy in your relationship, don’t point your finger at your partner. Look into the mirror and decide what it is that’s causing the unhappiness.

If you want something different from your man, ask for it.

If he gives you what you want, then great! If he doesn’t, then look inside yourself for the solution.

Accept your man as he is and adjust yourself to be better able to manage your relationship.

If he still violates one of your non-negotiable boundaries, leaving might be your best option.


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Science Reveals The Reasons People Cheat In Relationships




Think you can spot the telltale signs of a cheat? Perhaps someone who settled down too soon before playing the field, or a cold, calculated type who’s adept at covering their tracks? Well, you’d be wrong.

It’s actually people who have had higher numbers of sexual partners, or have impulsive tendencies, who are more likely to cheat, according to a study.

Although each relationship is unique, researchers at the University of Queensland studied why people are unfaithful found that there are certain factors that indicate a person is more likely to cheat.

According to the findings, published in the British Journal of Psychology, people who are impulsive may cheat simply because they do not pause to consider the situation, instead acting on their immediate thoughts and emotions.

Additionally, those who have had more sexual partners in the past are inclined to be unfaithful and seek out other partners because they have developed certain “skills” in the area, according to researchers.

“Participants who had experienced sexual intimacy with a greater number of partners also reported greater extradyadic sex and extradyadic kissing inclination,” the study authors wrote. “This inclination may be attributable to the individuals’ skills at recognising sexual advances or recruitment of sex partners.”

Unsurprisingly, the top reasons for cheating are feelings of detachment from a partner and low relationship satisfaction – and researchers also found that length and the depth of relationship commitment have minimal impact on fidelity.

To understand the factors that lead individuals to cheat, researchers surveyed 123 heterosexual people aged 17 to 25, all of whom were in relationships.

Apart from issues stemming from relationship satisfaction and compatibility, the study also found that men are more likely to have sex if they cheat, whereas men and women were equally likely to cheat by kissing. Fortunately, if you have been cheated on, it may be beneficial – as a previous survey on the effects of break-ups found that women who are cheated on ultimately grow from the experience and learn to choose better mates in the future.

Credit: The Independent

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Communication: A Fuel for Relationship




Attributing the fuel of relatiuonship to communication is not a mere exaggeration, but a fact. Once it slows down or fades, the relationship gets buried under a rubble of unexpressed feelings, resentment, feelings of under-appreciation, rejection and emotional distance. Thus, you’ve snuffed life out of that love.

Partners could literally see each other or maybe live under the same roof. Without great communication that touches on every sphere of their lives and reaches deep into their souls, they might as well be living a millions apart.

This goes to show just how important communication is in relationships. But just exactly how does communication work?

  1. Communication needs to be learnt

People are different and the way to communicate with each individual is often different too.

You need to understand what works for your partner by being sensitive and also asking questions.

Some people are moved by written words, and some love to look into your eyes as you speak with them.

Gentle words worked for your ex doesn’t mean it’ll work for this new babe. She might respond to a voice that’s a bit firmer when you’re passing across a serious message.

The point is; learn how to communicate with your partner specially.

  1. It could start slowly

Communication is tightly linked with trust; and this explains why it starts slow.

As communication builds one day at a time, so does trust. And when trust increases, so does communication because you and your partner become unafraid to share anything and everything with each other.

  1. Has to be total

Communicate everything – your emotions, feelings, fears, anger, unhappiness, compliments, concerns, dreams, past, and present and everything else.

Ask questions when you need answers and be a good listener when the answers come.

And of course, no secrets, people.

  1. It’s not always fun

Sometimes you have to call out your partner’s bullshit. You are supposed to help your partner become a better person.

And in order to achieve this, there will be times to call their attention to something they are not doing right. It won’t be as fun as the nights when you’re cuddled up saying sweet nothings… but it is needed.

The truth is quite hard to swallow sometimes but you just have to communicate it.

  1. It dies

Think of it as a plant that needs water to survive. You can’t neglect to communicate properly with your partner – and there’s an emphasis on properly here.

You can’t afford to fall short in communication because once it dies, it won’t be long before your relationship follows.


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