Dear Destiny Friends,

Silence is powerful. silence is golden. And silence can also be misinterpreted. Silence can mean acceptance, the same way it can mean rejection, depending however, on the context and usage.

The power of silence cannot be overemphasized. It’s a strong weapon only great people understand. While most people make a lot of noise, great leaders of thought practice silence. Silence, most of the times, is a strategic weapon creative minds use during negotiation.

To succeed in any chosen career, one must move in silence because there’s no sense announcing one’s work prematurely. When one is tempted to do so, the work might lose its vitality. The success of any project is best appreciated when it’s the best kept secret, especially when the work is underrated.

To understand how silence works, try being discreet while working hard, and allow the outcome/success to announce the dedication. Personally, I find it odd when people make noise about their personality or showcase their work for people to notice when it’s still supposed to be in incubation as opposed to expressing humility about the said achievement.

There’s a Nigerian adage that says, money can’t be hidden, no matter how hard one tries. The adage further states that when a poor man acts rich, something is likely going to happen which will expose the individual as poor despite trying to act rich. The same principle is applicable when a rich man is acting poor, something will happen which will showcase the man’s wealth despite acting like he’s poor. The moral of this analysis is that it’s always good for one to be humble about life and their modest achievements.

This is how I know greatness. Great people operate in silence. They know what they want, and they work hard by remaining focused. They don’t share their vision with any Dick, Tom and Harry. They are very intentional and strategic in their thought process and relationships. On the other hand, those without understanding just move with speed devoid of direction thereby making mistakes.

Silence is very powerful. The proper use of silence can prevent trouble. Even the Bible exposed that a foolish man is considered wise when he keeps silent, and a wise man is considered foolish when he opens his mouth to speak. This literally means that one ought to know when to speak and when not to speak.

In the spiritual realm as well, silence assists to solve more problems than prayers. For instance, too often, people commit to loud prayers to solve problems, not knowing that a few moments of silence with meditation, can provide wholesome answers.

In case you are wondering how that works; did you know that when we pray, we are talking to God, but when we meditate, God is talking to us. That explains it!

As progressive minds, we ought to meditate. Meditation is powerful. There are many blessings and benefits that come to us when we meditate. Meditation helps us to have less stress, better focus, better memory, enhance creativity, reduce anxiety, and anger.

One of the greatest benefits of mediation is that it helps us to relate cordially when strange people try to serve as detractors. To understand this ideology and principle, when people provoke you, you don’t have to respond. Just move in silence by acting like you didn’t notice their actions. They will be wondering why you are not provoked to react. Well, it makes no sense to come down to the level of pigs when one is dragged in the mud. According to Michelle Obama, when they go low you go high.

There’s no way on planet Earth one won’t be misunderstood. One of the best ways to relate with the public is by practicing the still act of silence. Keep them in suspense. Let them keep guessing and wondering. Silence is the only thing people can’t misquote. After all, we would not all be here if Eve had been silent when the serpent spoke to her. Silence is, indeed, golden.

I’ll strongly advise that if you are working on a novel project, please move in silence, don’t announce your elaborate plan. Allow it to mature, and if possible, let it hatch before you announce it. The world is not concerned about your struggles or theories, rather, they want to see your results because results make the difference. It’s your result that will make your stories sweet and endearing to the heart. The only time however, one is encouraged to announce or share whatever they are working on is when they need technical or superior expertise or advice on the project. And the subject of contact MUST be resourceful mind or an absolutely trusted ally, who knows his onions.

I remember when I was working on my first, second and third books, I stayed committed to the project in my corner. Even when I shared excerpts from my manuscript, it was to people that matter in as much as they still allowed me to work on my own. And when the book was finally published, I received lots of commendations and support. That’s how life works.

In conclusion, experience has taught me to operate in silence because it gives me confidence and a better understanding of how life and people think. This is because silence reveals a lot with time, silence heals, and silence speaks volumes.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Everyone experiences life in different ways. There’s absolutely nobody on planet earth who hasn’t encountered situations or circumstances that shaped them or gave them different perceptions of life. No matter how we try, we can’t run away from problems. A friend once jokingly said, problems are like women; they are the “necessary evil” you can’t avoid, especially when they have an interest in you.

We all experience life in our families, relationships, academics, spiritual life, careers, health, and even personal life. But what makes the ultimate difference is how we’ll react to it.

Let me explain a little bit using a case study of family, health, career, academic, spiritual, and personal aspects.

Family

It’s instructive to note that what makes a family is secret, so imagine a case where the secret of a family is divulged. There’s bound to be problems that will arise. Another scenario is when a family experiences the death of a loved one. I think that’s one of the most painful experiences one can ever experience because losing a loved one is no joke. The death of a family member can shatter a family if not properly managed.

Imagine a case where the head of the family, say a father, passes to glory and his wife is not financially stable to manage the family. The children will experience challenges that will shape their future. The question we need to ask ourselves is, how do we manage death when it happens?

Health

Another scenario that can shape us is our health. Health is so important that without it, one will not be able to function properly. There have been life-threatening health cases that lead to the untimely death of a sick patient. The question we need to ask ourselves is: how do we respond to these health challenges when it comes to us?

Career

Do you know your career can serve as an encounter which can shape you? Yes, an encounter is like an experience which can make one not remain the same. Do you also know that your career can make or mar you? Yes, while one’s career can serve as an instrument to one’s success, it can also lead to the demise of someone, especially if it’s not a purposeful career befitting the person.

Academic

Some schools of thought say that examination is not the true test of knowledge. There have been situations where one’s academic background can metamorphose them in the right direction, especially when one is intentional and purposeful in their chosen academic pursuit, and there have been scenarios when someone ventured into academic pursuits that are not suitable for them.

I was once a victim of this ugly experience when I ventured into Taxation Law at New York Law School. Despite earning a scholarship in the program, I knew for a fact, assuming I got a job, it won’t be fulfilling because I will be a victim of defective success.

Spiritual

One of the most defining moments of one’s life can be seen in their spiritual life. It’s sad to see most people playing with their spiritual life. They fail to realize that spirituality controls the physical. When we talk of spirituality, there are two types. Those for God and those for gods. It’s always good for one to align to one side, but as a matter of advice, it’s always good for one to stay on the side of God.

There are many situations that would have ended one’s life, but due to one’s neglect of one’s spiritual life, the life can be cut short. Question: How do you respond to spiritual things when spiritual forces push you around?

Personal

Last but not least is our personal life. How we respond to life challenges in our academic, health, finance, relationship, career, or even spiritual life can determine how far we go in life. Remember, it’s instructive to note that it is our attitude and not aptitude that will determine our altitude to life.

The big question we need to ask ourselves now is: how do we respond to these challenging circumstances or issues? The answer is attitude. You’ll agree with me, you may not always be able to choose your circumstances, but you can choose to respond to them.

There was a touching story about a man who was unjustly and wrongfully convicted for murder, and he spent many years in prison awaiting trial, another fifteen years for final judgment to be delivered, and yet another ten years on death row. In all this travail, he managed to keep his sanity.

Finally, on the day he was to be executed, fresh evidence indicating his innocence prompted the governor to order his immediate release. At the prison gates he sad “ all a man can be taken from him, except the last form of the human freedoms, -the power to choose one’s attitude in all circumstances”.

Do you see, life is not really about what happens to us, but how we react. That’s what will make the difference.

In conclusion, regardless of how life challenges, circumstances, and situations push you around, just have a good attitude and outlook to life. Don’t allow it to weigh you down.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Complaining is part of human nature. We complain about our health, school, family, friends, work, finances, government, and life in general. Human beings literally complain about everything and anything.

Over time, I have come to discover something about life: complaining doesn’t solve a problem; it adds to it. According to the Book of Life, why worry when you can pray? The moral of this statement is that instead of worrying, why not look for solutions? When you worry, it only accumulates the problems, but when you explore avenues to solve a problem, you’re literally praying.

Complaining is like having a problem and apportioning blame to another person instead of fixing it. One of the hallmarks of great minds is the ability to solve problems, while little minds complain.

In the world of visionary leaders, they don’t complain; rather, they see complaints as challenges of life, while lesser minds see complaints as problems of life. Again, while great leaders see problems as a gateway to make money and succeed by proffering solutions, little minds see problems as obstacles limiting their growth to succeed. Same action but different results and consequences.

As human beings, we tend to focus on what we don’t have instead of focusing on what we have. It’s only when we appreciate what we have that we give room for opportunities and favors to come to us. It’s unfortunate some of fucus on what we are going through instead of what we are becoming.

It’s instructive to note that complaints don’t lead us anywhere, rather it hinders our progress. Nobody likes complainers; complainers are usually seen as energy suckers because all they do is take without giving. Instead of complaining, why not practice gratitude? Gratitude helps to draw and attract opportunities.

In the world of human relations, the ability to manage people is an uncommon skill. One must learn to nurture relationships.  Human beings can be difficult to manage. While some exhibit meekness, gratitude, cheerfulness, and loyalty, some exhibit bitterness, frustration, depression, sadness, and sorrow. What most people don’t know is that we have the ability to change how we manage our lives and how we react to what life throws at us through our attitude.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not insinuating that complaining is wrong; rather, I’m insinuating it’s not healthy for our mental health. The only time we can complain about something is when we are proffering a solution; by so doing, we have highlighted the problems and proffered the solution.

 Complaints make us blind to see the good in others. As a word of advice, if you focus exclusively on the shortcomings of the people with whom you have to relate and forget that they have a good point, it will be difficult to see the good in them.

According to Yomi Garnett, focus on the good side of people and be intentional in learning about their mindset and inquire what made them who they are. Also, focusing on the good side of people despite their bad or weak side makes them feel valuable as human beings, and by so doing, we show our empathic personality.

In conclusion, resolve today to stop complaining and start appreciating the challenges of life with gratitude.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com