Greetings Destiny Friends,

A race, in a literary sense, is a contest between two or more persons competing for a prize. A race can be a sprint, relay, marathon, middle-distance, long-distance, and hurdles. When it comes to running a race, every single step is important because a wrong move can affect the entire outcome. Can you imagine where an athlete has a faulty start or enters the lane of another athlete. That athlete will be disqualified. Can you also imagine a case where an athlete misses the baton; it will definitely affect their chances of winning the race.

Beyond the race on the tracks, there’s also a larger race on the field of life. This race is not interested in whether one is an athlete or not. It is open to everyone living. Consequently, everyone must run his race with his mates and contemporaries, and here’s why.

In the journey of life, everyone is entitled to running their individual races. Nobody will run another’s race for them; the best anyone can do for another is assist in providing an enabling environment for the race. For instance, our parents, mentors, siblings, relatives, benefactors, churches, government, among others have all contributed in one way or another to shape our journey. They did it so that we won’t be found wanting when we step out to the tracks to compete with mates.

Let’s face it, our parents, siblings, relatives may have supported us with resources in training us in schools. Our mentors, benefactors, government, churches, etc. may have provided an enabling environment and by putting the necessary structures for us excel.  The government can formulate policies that will enable progressive minds to thrive. All these acts are structured to give us an edge in life.

One may be wondering why this illustration important; well, the simple reason is because we must run our race at the right time, otherwise, we’ll be left behind. My beloved mother Lolo Agnes Ukazu, will always say, when your mates are running, run with them. That statement might sound ordinary, but it is very deep. One may be wondering what it means, well, it simply means, it’s always good to do the right thing at the right time. For instance, there’s a right time for one to go to school, get married, have kids, invest and give it back to society. When one misses a stage, it might be hard to get back on track. So, when one’s mate is going to school, please, if you have the time and resources, join them and go to school, marry, have children, invest, etc. because at the end of the day, everything will align together if done properly.

My late mother will always say, when one is born, the person won’t enter his/her mother’s womb again. The next task for the person is to run their race by fighting their war, and this entails running their race by taking ownership of their life. When your mates leave you behind, it might be difficult to catch up with them. May God help you if they have gone far.

It’s sad to see uniformed minds who always think their messiah or destiny helper will come from heaven. They fail to understand that “Power is never served a la carte“. One will have to struggle to earn it.  That’s simply how life works. Anything anyone desires, one will have to roll their sleeves and do the needful. If the universe is kind to you, it will send you destiny helpers, associates, benefactors, mentees, and resourceful people who can assist in birthing your vision.

The universe can also make the government formulate a policy for you. I have since come to the sublime submission that in life, we are the architect of our lives. According to my late dad, Chief Lazarus Ukazu, “any name anyone wants to answer, that person must work hard to earn the name. Again, this is running your race.

Overtime, I have discovered, when you begin a race, people from north and south will align together to assist you in birthing the vision all things being equal.  Most of the work I have been celebrated didn’t come because I was smart, even though smartness may have contributed, but the true success was a result of my accomplishment. For instance, as an author, I use my books to create curriculum for my target audience, meet resource people and organization.  I didn’t wait for my mentors or anyone to put me in the spotlight. Rather, they saw my work and appreciated the value and problems I was solving, and they extended a hand of fellowship to partner with me.

I didn’t fold my hands and wait for manna from above. No, I rolled my sleeves. I didn’t feel entitled to any favor, I didn’t complain, rather I fixed the problem, and as they say, the rest is history.

To run your race with your mates, timing is critical. You don’t want to have children at old age when you are supposed to be resting.  Imagine being in a Parents Teachers Association meeting with children who are supposed to be your kids. Again, when your mates are busy grinding by adding value to their life, please endeavor to do the same because when they get to the top, they’ll find resourceful people who have added to their life. So, imagine a case where one has developed themselves and they still fail, they still stand a better position to attract opportunities because of the bold actions and steps they have taken.

From personal experience, I have seen people who just relax with hope that if a friend succeeds and gets to the top or makes money, they will be remembered, but these uninformed minds don’t know that life doesn’t work that way. As an accomplished author and human capacity development expert, most of the heights I have attained were simple because I collaborated with resourceful minds working the same space or I had people who believed and saw value in my work.

I don’t know what your storyline is, I just want you to know that if you don’t run your race, other people will run it for you. My prayer for you is that you may not be a spectator in a race you are supposed to own.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Everyone experiences life in different ways. There’s absolutely nobody on planet earth who hasn’t encountered situations or circumstances that shaped them or gave them different perceptions of life. No matter how we try, we can’t run away from problems. A friend once jokingly said, problems are like women; they are the “necessary evil” you can’t avoid, especially when they have an interest in you.

We all experience life in our families, relationships, academics, spiritual life, careers, health, and even personal life. But what makes the ultimate difference is how we’ll react to it.

Let me explain a little bit using a case study of family, health, career, academic, spiritual, and personal aspects.

Family

It’s instructive to note that what makes a family is secret, so imagine a case where the secret of a family is divulged. There’s bound to be problems that will arise. Another scenario is when a family experiences the death of a loved one. I think that’s one of the most painful experiences one can ever experience because losing a loved one is no joke. The death of a family member can shatter a family if not properly managed.

Imagine a case where the head of the family, say a father, passes to glory and his wife is not financially stable to manage the family. The children will experience challenges that will shape their future. The question we need to ask ourselves is, how do we manage death when it happens?

Health

Another scenario that can shape us is our health. Health is so important that without it, one will not be able to function properly. There have been life-threatening health cases that lead to the untimely death of a sick patient. The question we need to ask ourselves is: how do we respond to these health challenges when it comes to us?

Career

Do you know your career can serve as an encounter which can shape you? Yes, an encounter is like an experience which can make one not remain the same. Do you also know that your career can make or mar you? Yes, while one’s career can serve as an instrument to one’s success, it can also lead to the demise of someone, especially if it’s not a purposeful career befitting the person.

Academic

Some schools of thought say that examination is not the true test of knowledge. There have been situations where one’s academic background can metamorphose them in the right direction, especially when one is intentional and purposeful in their chosen academic pursuit, and there have been scenarios when someone ventured into academic pursuits that are not suitable for them.

I was once a victim of this ugly experience when I ventured into Taxation Law at New York Law School. Despite earning a scholarship in the program, I knew for a fact, assuming I got a job, it won’t be fulfilling because I will be a victim of defective success.

Spiritual

One of the most defining moments of one’s life can be seen in their spiritual life. It’s sad to see most people playing with their spiritual life. They fail to realize that spirituality controls the physical. When we talk of spirituality, there are two types. Those for God and those for gods. It’s always good for one to align to one side, but as a matter of advice, it’s always good for one to stay on the side of God.

There are many situations that would have ended one’s life, but due to one’s neglect of one’s spiritual life, the life can be cut short. Question: How do you respond to spiritual things when spiritual forces push you around?

Personal

Last but not least is our personal life. How we respond to life challenges in our academic, health, finance, relationship, career, or even spiritual life can determine how far we go in life. Remember, it’s instructive to note that it is our attitude and not aptitude that will determine our altitude to life.

The big question we need to ask ourselves now is: how do we respond to these challenging circumstances or issues? The answer is attitude. You’ll agree with me, you may not always be able to choose your circumstances, but you can choose to respond to them.

There was a touching story about a man who was unjustly and wrongfully convicted for murder, and he spent many years in prison awaiting trial, another fifteen years for final judgment to be delivered, and yet another ten years on death row. In all this travail, he managed to keep his sanity.

Finally, on the day he was to be executed, fresh evidence indicating his innocence prompted the governor to order his immediate release. At the prison gates he sad “ all a man can be taken from him, except the last form of the human freedoms, -the power to choose one’s attitude in all circumstances”.

Do you see, life is not really about what happens to us, but how we react. That’s what will make the difference.

In conclusion, regardless of how life challenges, circumstances, and situations push you around, just have a good attitude and outlook to life. Don’t allow it to weigh you down.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Complaining is part of human nature. We complain about our health, school, family, friends, work, finances, government, and life in general. Human beings literally complain about everything and anything.

Over time, I have come to discover something about life: complaining doesn’t solve a problem; it adds to it. According to the Book of Life, why worry when you can pray? The moral of this statement is that instead of worrying, why not look for solutions? When you worry, it only accumulates the problems, but when you explore avenues to solve a problem, you’re literally praying.

Complaining is like having a problem and apportioning blame to another person instead of fixing it. One of the hallmarks of great minds is the ability to solve problems, while little minds complain.

In the world of visionary leaders, they don’t complain; rather, they see complaints as challenges of life, while lesser minds see complaints as problems of life. Again, while great leaders see problems as a gateway to make money and succeed by proffering solutions, little minds see problems as obstacles limiting their growth to succeed. Same action but different results and consequences.

As human beings, we tend to focus on what we don’t have instead of focusing on what we have. It’s only when we appreciate what we have that we give room for opportunities and favors to come to us. It’s unfortunate some of fucus on what we are going through instead of what we are becoming.

It’s instructive to note that complaints don’t lead us anywhere, rather it hinders our progress. Nobody likes complainers; complainers are usually seen as energy suckers because all they do is take without giving. Instead of complaining, why not practice gratitude? Gratitude helps to draw and attract opportunities.

In the world of human relations, the ability to manage people is an uncommon skill. One must learn to nurture relationships.  Human beings can be difficult to manage. While some exhibit meekness, gratitude, cheerfulness, and loyalty, some exhibit bitterness, frustration, depression, sadness, and sorrow. What most people don’t know is that we have the ability to change how we manage our lives and how we react to what life throws at us through our attitude.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not insinuating that complaining is wrong; rather, I’m insinuating it’s not healthy for our mental health. The only time we can complain about something is when we are proffering a solution; by so doing, we have highlighted the problems and proffered the solution.

 Complaints make us blind to see the good in others. As a word of advice, if you focus exclusively on the shortcomings of the people with whom you have to relate and forget that they have a good point, it will be difficult to see the good in them.

According to Yomi Garnett, focus on the good side of people and be intentional in learning about their mindset and inquire what made them who they are. Also, focusing on the good side of people despite their bad or weak side makes them feel valuable as human beings, and by so doing, we show our empathic personality.

In conclusion, resolve today to stop complaining and start appreciating the challenges of life with gratitude.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com