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Adding Value: The Power of Words by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

“You can change the course of your life with your words.” Anonymous

Every one of us has the power to shape not only our life but the life of the people around us. As a parent, you have the power to speak life into your unborn and living child. Nobody has the power to influence their life more than you. As a spouse, you have the power to speak life into your spouse’s life regardless of what they are hearing outside, what you say to them matters more. That’s why as a married man/woman, it’s always better to mind the words you use against your partner when you are angry. The same is applicable to anyone who is angry. When you utter such words, even though you may reconcile with your partner/friend, the words will still create a hole or wound in the heart of your partner/friend. That’s why it is advisable not to mix your words with your mood when you are angry, you can change your mood, but you can’t take back your words.

Even if you have a misunderstanding with anyone, raise your word, not your voice. Uninformed minds don’t realize that the tongue has no bones but is capable to break a heart. According to Pearl Strachan Hurd “Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.” Can you see how powerful and dangerous words can be? Each and every one of us is already going through stress and don’t need more stress, so it’s always good to leave one kind word on anyone you see. This is because one kind word can change someone’s entire day.

Do you know there’s power in words?  Yes, this is because one of the most powerful force in the world is words. Even the Book of life made use to understand that, it is not what enters the mouth of a man that defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth of a man. Do you know that the right words of words have a way of evoking emotions when used at the right time and right place?

The power of words cannot be overemphasized. As a man trying to woo a lady, you must have the right words to soften her heart. That’s why Gary Chapman stated “Words Affirmation” in his book “The Five Love languages as one of the love languages. Furthermore, when communicating with anyone, you need to know how to approach the conversation be it friendship, business, academic, spiritual, association, mentor/mentee, or even family. Your inability to use the right words can either make or mar your relationship.

Just to let you know how powerful words are, do you know when you speak, the walls hear your utterance, the ground stamps it and the air carries it.  According to Lao Tzo, “watch your thoughts they become your words, watch your words they become your actions, watch your actions, they become your habit and watch your habit, they become your character, and watch your character, they become your destiny”. There are many instances of people who understood the power of words and used it to their advantage. It’s quite unfortunate, some uninformed, minds have attracted negative force into their life without knowing. These sets of people use words like I’m ugly, I’m broke, I’m not smart, I can’t make it, life is against me, etc on themselves.  Even if you feel a certain way, quit uttering such words, don’t spit them out, let them die inside of you. The universe has a way of bringing them back to you later in life without you knowing. That’s why it’s always good to choose your words wisely.

To utilize the right words of words, always speak from your heart. When you speak from your heart, words can have great force. Words are deep and can carry deep emotions. Words are used to express how we feel emotionally. For instance, most ladies speak with emotions, while the majority of men are logical with their words. Words can be used to describe our thought process, our experience in life at the events we attend, and the people we meet.

As a way of advice, it’s always better to choose your words carefully before you utter them to others because you can’t take them back when it goes out. So, before you speak, chew your words by listening to yourself.  I can vividly remember words that were used on me by my “supposed mentors” during my formative years in America, each time I reminiscence those words, I always smile because the biggest revenge is success.  Due to my bad and horrible writing skills, one of my “supposed mentors told me “she has to be hard on me” another once told me “I will go back to Nigeria” because according to her, she doubt if I will be able to compete with the system in America. Guess, what, by the special grace of God, I have now an acclaimed author, but more than that, I’m a creative writer whose works have been published in my international and print media.

I’m not trying to boast about my accomplishment, rather, what I’m trying to say is that nobody, and I repeat nobody knows tomorrow. That’s life for you. The child of a certified pauper can become a man of means tomorrow if properly educated. That life is unstable for you now does not mean that’s how it will be forever, provided you are doing your best to improve, trust me, the universe has a way of connecting you to the right people if you have the right attitude and do what you are supposed to do.

Nobody has the power to make your life better more than you. That’s why it’s very important you speak life into your life. Even though your parents, friends, spouse, mentors, etc. speak life into you, the words you speak to yourself matter most and if they speak negativity into your life, you still have the power to change it by not listening to their words. Affirm to yourself what you want to become.

In conclusion, I will leave you with great quotes to inspire you on the power of words.

“Words can inspire and words can destroy”. Robin Sharma

“Your words have power use them wisely.” Anonymous

“The meaning behind the words, the feeling is more significant than the words themselves, so listen.” Anonymous

“Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much.” Blaise Pascal

“Your words become your world.” Nadeem Kazi

“The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” Anonymous

“May every word that is ever spoken by our mouths be words that lift up, and never words that tear down.” Anonymous

“Never underestimate the power of words to heal and reconcile relationships.”

Jackson Brown

“Beautifully crafted words have the power to captivate the mind of anybody.”

Sam Veda

“Your words carry amazing power. So when you speak make sure you uplift someone and never put them down.” Anonymous

“There is power in words. What you say is what you get.” Zig Ziglar

“Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.” Anonymous

“Words have the power to make things happen.” Frederick Buechner

“A few nice words can help a person a lot more than you think.” Anonymous

“Our words have creative power. With our words, we can speak blessings over our future.” Joel Osteen

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a  public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Success and the Biological Clock by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Biology is the scientific study of life, covering structure, function, evolution, and interaction. The key branches of biology include molecular biology, genetics, ecology, botany, zoology, and microbiology. For your information, this article is not about health, nor is it about science. It is rather about inspiration, motivation, creative thinking and the relativity of how the biological clock of success works in the attainment of success.

As a trained and passionate Human Capacity Development expert, we shall explore the meaning of the biological clock of success from a different perspective. However, it’s important to make a full disclosure here. I am not a biologist, nor do I have a medical background. However, if you can give me a little bit of your time, you’ll understand what I mean by the biological clock of success.

As human beings we all have our biological clock, and this biological clock means different things to different people. For instance, A woman’s biological clock refers to the natural decline in fertility, which begins gradually in the late 20s, becomes more pronounced after age 35, and drops sharply by age 40, The male biological clock begins to tick in the mid-to-late 30s, with a more significant, accelerated decline in fertility and semen quality often occurring after age 40 to 45.

Again, for ladies, it is generally said that menopause typically starts between the ages of 45 and 55, with the average age being 51–52 in the U.S.  As a student there’s an acceptable time for students to attend elementary school, High School and College. Even though this is not a set rule, it is however believed that when students follow the acceptable standards, it helps to smoothen their academic and professional journey.

For a single man/lady, there’s an acceptable time for marriage which if followed diligently, can have a great and positive impact in the raising of kids. My late mother used to say, when your mates are running, please run with them.

In the journey of life, there’s time for everything, when you miss your miss time, sometimes, it can be hard to catch up. Imagine, if you have a scheduled time to catch a flight, if you don’t get to the airport within a certain time, one might miss their flight because by the time one is done with the checking and custom, it might be late. That tells you, there’s time for everything. In the same manner, in whatever one would like to do in life, there’s time for everything, by the time one misses the appointed or set time, it might be hard to get it back. That’s why it is generally said, when you can lose your money and get it back, you can even lose your health and get it back, but when you lose your time, it will take a miracle to get it back.

In life, each and everyone of us has our biological clock of success, the time of success for Mr. A is quite different from the time of success for Mr. B.  Some people attain success during their teenage years, while some in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. For instance, President Theodore Roosevelt became the United States of America President at the age of 42 which made him the youngest US President, while President Joe Biden became the oldest US president at the age of 78.

As a business owner, some might start a business and break even during their first year, while another person might start a business and break even in their fifth or tenth year. The same principle is applicable for a young student who graduates from college and couldn’t get his dream job until five years later but contrasts it to another student who graduates and gets his dream job within months of graduation. How about a lady who got married and had a child in her first year of marriage, while another person might have a child in 10th year of marriage despite marrying first. There are many twists about this, but here is the message, what matters is not how far, but how well.

This is because no matter how long it took you to get your degree, it may take many failed relationships to find love but you found it. A house bought at 65 is still an accomplishment. So don’t let people bully you with their timeline of success.

As human beings, we all have our biological clock. Everyone has their time of success, so keep working on your craft, continue to develop your craft, continue to network strategically, continue to add value and continue to develop yourself. At the end of the day, when the timing is right, everything will add up.

Sometimes, one might be investing time and energy into a project, and it doesn’t seem to add up well, what the person fails to understand is that there might be an invisible hand working which the person might not see. It can be a case of if the person gets the opportunity, they might not be able to manage it, or it will cause them more harm than good because it’s not suitable for them. Sometimes, it can be a case of one not being fully prepared to attract the due respect and opportunity they are looking for because one will never get the desired opportunity they are looking for until they have developed the capacity to receive it.

There’s a saying that one shouldn’t be angry about what didn’t happen, because what didn’t happen might prevent disaster from happening. What that literally means is that in all situations, let’s give God the glory.

In summary, everyone has a biological clock of success, what is important is for us to continue to develop ourselves, develop our product, services and most importantly continue to show up by putting ourselves out for the universe to acknowledge our work and in due time, we will get our flowers.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Crave the Circle of Your Betters by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

A credible relationship is a valuable currency. A great relationship is priceless. The relationship is even more monumental, when it is contracted with persons much better in status, intelligence, reach and spread, and capabilities than one. Several people come into an individual’s life for several reasons; some are parasitic, while a great many others are symbiotic. However, many people still do not understand the value of having a valuable relationship, in other words, a relationship with someone better than ‘you’.

To succeed in the journey of life, one needs to understand who they are, and know what they want. It’s one thing to know who you are, and another thing to know what you want. Some people know who they are yet unable to decipher what they actually want, while some others know what they want, but lack the ability to know who they are. Let me explain.

If you know who you are, it will be easier to see what you want from someone. For instance, the first thing a single man/lady, who is interested in marriage should figure out is who they are (their temperament, strength, weakness, personality, values, and interest). The ability to know these fundamental information will help to figure out who will complement them.

In another scenario, some people know what they want, but don’t really know who they are. This is why I strongly advocate self-discovery training for anyone interested in starting a business or having a life partner.

I can’t underemphasize the importance of associating with people better than you. On a personal note, my most defining moment in the journey of life and business is relationship. Not only is this relationship defining and resourceful, it is valuable and priceless because I relate closely with people better and more resourceful than me.

A wise man once stated that ‘if I have attained success, it is because I stood on the shoulders of giants’. According to the sage, great men have great habits, they carefully select their partners, a step into their life will make a difference in your own life, absorb their books, listen to their tapes and you will be great like them. As a cultured Nigerian man, we have a saying that ‘when a child washes his hands, he will dine with elders’.

One might be wondering the reasoning behind all these parables. Well, the answer is not far-fetched; it’s all about associating with people better than you, and this is all about relationships. If you don’t have a great relationship with people, it will be hard for them to relate closely with you. Relationship is a skill that needs to be nurtured.

One of the secrets of the little success and impact I have made is the people in my life. I have great and resourceful mentors, who have really made great impacts in life. Based on my personal experience with them, they have introduced me to great minds and have given me access and opportunities money and hard work can’t buy. There are heights I know I may never have attain if not because of God and human relationship.

Did you know that just like mercy works with grace, favor works with relationships. Did you know that just like where your prayers cannot reach, your sacrifice can get you there. In the same vein, where your education can’t get you, your relationship will get you there.

It’s unfortunate that many people don’t know the importance of associating with people better than them. You might be brilliant, sophisticated, confident, and maybe even successful, but I can guarantee you that there’s something you will need because nobody knows or has it all. The truth of the matter is that you can’t be shorter and taller than everyone at the same time. So, no matter how brilliant, sophisticated, confident or even successful one may appear to be, there are people who are more brilliant, more sophisticated, more confident and even more successful than yhem, so be humble just as your heavenly father is humble.

In another way, even when people may not be as smart and confident as you are, the irony of life is that someone somewhere is wishing they were half blessed are you are. Do you see the irony of life? Regardless of where you may belong between these two extremes, resolve today to start associating with those who are better than you. If, for instance, you are afflicted with self-doubt, avoid Brother Thomas, instead visit and cultivate Father Abraham, the grand patriarch of the faith family. If you are a stingy person, begin to associate with a generous mind.

Association in life really matters if they are healthy and valuable, but when it begins to affect your mental health, please avoid it because it is what you feed your mind on that it will digest and send to the universe.

In conclusion, be intentional in cultivating healthy relationships because a large chunk of what happens in your life will be shaped by the people you allowed into it.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value: Confidence and Succces by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Did you know confidence is a currency? Confidence is not about one’s strength, but about one’s ability, capacity, capability and competence. When someone is confident, it can be felt. One doesn’t have to say much because their work will speak for them.

Confidence works in all fields of life. A man who wants to talk to a lady must have a level of confidence; a prospective employee must have confidence to pass his examination, and a public speaker must have a decent amount of confidence to speak.

In the legal world, a Latin maxim suggests, “Res Ipsa Loquitur,” meaning that the fact speaks for itself. For the sake of clarity, the maxim means that one doesn’t have to provide much explanation to prove a point in the court of law. For instance, white is white and black is black. So, when one is confident about their work, they don’t need to speak too much about because the work will speak for itself.

To further understand how confidence works, consider Walter Payton’s exposition on knowing the difference between Good and Great; “when you are good at something, you tell everyone, when you’re great at something, they’ll tell you. Isn’t it true that noise is loud while creation is silent? Sometimes, I do wonder why people have the urge to boast about their achievements as opposed to allowing other people to sing their praises. Please, don’t misunderstand me, it’s good to speak about oneself in addition to having high self-esteem; however, the balance is having moderation.

Confidence always stays in the family of humility; they are opposed to pride and arrogance, and those who always feel entitled and sarcastic. Most great leaders who know their worth are humble and charitable in their relationship with those who are inferior, as against arrogant leaders.

Confidence works in different ways.

Whether you are preparing for an examination, a career promotion, soccer, or an athletic competition, you need confidence, because that’s what will set you apart from your contemporaries. That’s why it’s always and generally good to prepare before you begin any major task; failure to do this can lead to disaster because failing to prepare is preparing to fail.

Imagine being called upon to speak or lead an organization; if you don’t do your homework diligently, you are setting yourself up for failure. Contrast the case to a scenario where you could meet President Trump, Elon Musk, or even your idol who has inspired you to become great, and you came prepared with your questions.

Trust me, at the end of the time, if my thinking is right, you might not remain the same again because a lot of mental transformation may have taken place. As a matter of fact, lots of opportunities might open for you to explore simply because you made yourself available and have the confidence to speak up.

Inasmuch as it is generally good for one to prepare, in some cases, one just has to swim inside the oceans because there’s little or no time for preparation. This is an exception to the general rule of life which advocates preparation. I can relate to this rule because I was a victim.

I can vividly remember when I arrived the United States of America and joined the Nigerian Lawyers Association as a graduate student. During the election, I picked up the form for Public Relations Officer; no one contested for the position, so I won unopposed. The interesting thing about this position was that I wasn’t prepared to assume the position; I felt it was like one of those organizations I could handle like I did while in Nigeria. However, one thing is certain: I had subtle confidence in my ability even though I knew the journey would be challenging. The result and experience were totally different.

Confidence doesn’t come easily; it has to be nurtured with preparation, just like gold has to go through fire in the furnace to become refined.

In conclusion, I would like to ask you, what gives you strength, what makes you happy, and what do you do with relative ease? When you figure it out, please focus on it and build it. By the time you are done, you will be amazed at what you have accomplished by applying confidence to your personality.

In conclusion, as your journey in life, please note that foundations are critical in life. They can either mar or make you. So, please pay attention to the foundation you are laying down because at the end of the day, the way you make your bed is the way you will lie on it.

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