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Adding Value

Adding Value: The Success of Failing in Life by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends

It is no secret that everyone wants to be a success. No one wants to be a failure. But the irony of life is that in order to succeed in life, you must fail. Success and failure are terms used to describe how we did at a particular event in our life events, not people, not how we are in totality.

Failure comes in different stages of life. Though some people might say they passed their exams on the first attempt, accomplished success in their first year of business or even made great impacts due to their great advisors and mentors, and research they did, great minds only know too well that in the journey of life, failure is a necessary component of success.

Failure and success mean different people to different people and they react differently. Some people take failure personally; these set of people see it as a permanent situation and give up, and there are people who use it as a lesson; they do not take it personally but as a temporary setback.

Just like you won’t value a good man/woman until you lose him/ her to another woman/man, the same way, you can never appreciate success unless you have failed. Failure humbles you.

We have all failed in several capacities in life. While some people fail and wail, other rational minds will fail and pick up the lessons. Failures come in different shapes and sizes of life. Failure can come to you in your early or late years of marriage, business, careers, and life. It’s quite unfortunate to know that many people don’t know that failure can prevent disaster in their life. For instance, won’t you prefer leaving an abusive marriage than dying in the marriage? Wouldn’t you like to experience betrayal or fraud from a friend than to lose a fortune that will cost you all you have labored in life? That goes to tell you some failures are a blessing in disguise.

As human beings, we are scared of failure. These failures arise as a result of phobia or the fear of the unknown. We fail to understand that when we embrace of face our fear, there’s a probability of succeeding. Imagine having the fear of talking to a lady you like just because you are scared she might turn you down, imagine having fear of starting a project just because you feel you are not prepared for the task, you fail to think out the box, you fail to realise that nobody has ever gotten it 100% right before they embarked on their project.

According to Dr. Yomi Garnett a Life Coach “it’s impossible to evolve into your full potential unless you face adversity and learn from t. Life’s great victories come from overcoming defeats and setbacks. May your own road be rough enough for you to profit from the portholes and narrow bridges.

The sad part of life is that many people don’t recover from their failure, they allow their failure to define them, and they blame it on circumstances. The good thing about failure is that you can turn your mess into a message, you can make your fate your faith, you turn your pain into pleasure, and your disappointment into an appointment if only you are able to think out of the box.

The advantages of failure

Failure is life’s greatest teacher

You are probably familiar with the saying. Experience is the best teacher. This is because the wise man learns from his mistakes, but the wiser man learns from other people’s mistakes. Failure will humble you. According to Ralph Heath “The quickest road to success is to possess an attitude toward failure of ‘no fear’ Failure will teach you a life lesson you won’t forget in a haste.” –, When you fail well, life will show you the reality of life. One key lesson in failure is that it shows the kind of person you are. That’s why it is always said “never let success get to your head, and never let failure get to your heart.

Just to understand the practical nature of failure and success. Imagine a newborn baby. When a baby is first learning to walk, he/she is going to fall down many times. This, in fact, is a failure, but as time goes time the baby’s leg will be strong and he/she will be able to work well without staggering.

Why It is Necessary to Fail

Knowledge

The knowledge you will gain from failure  can be harnessed in the future to overcome that very failure that inflicted so much pain in the first place. Nothing can replace the knowledge gained from failure. When Thomas Edison famously failed nearly 10,000 times to create a commercially viable electric lightbulb, with each failure, he gained the knowledge of just one more avenue that didn’t work. It was the accumulated knowledge developed from nearly 10,000 failed attempts that ultimately led to his success.

Resilience

One of the true test of failure is resilience. This is because resilience goes a long way to show how passionate and eager a progressive is eager to push. In order to achieve great success, we must be resilient. Because, if we think that we’re going to succeed on the first try or even the first few tries, then we’re sure to set ourselves up for a far more painful failure.

Growth

According to Marilyn Monroe “Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie?”

Failure helps us to grow in life. When you fail at a particular task, the knowledge and experience you will gain will make you strategic in planning. The good thing about this type of failure is that it makes you grow. When we see successful people celebrating their business, marriage, academic achievement, or event career, it will be good to ask them about their failures and how they were able to come this fear. When we fail, we grow and mature as human beings. We reach deeper meanings and understandings about our lives and why we’re doing the things that we’re doing.

Value

Do you know failure can be an asset? Imagine a divorcee, politician, or businessman sharing their mistakes with the world. Many people will pay to listen to them because they have practical insight based on their experience. The value lies at the heart of success and a lack of value is a fundamental pillar to failure. To appreciate value, write out what you failed at and why you failed? What could you have done differently? How will you tackle those failures in the future when you’re faced with them? How will you learn from the past to help shape a bigger and brighter future?

How to Recover from Failure

1.    Ignore the Naysayers

When you fail, surely there will be the people telling you, “I told you so,” Ignore those people. Ignore the naysayers. Be glad you showed up and learned one of two things.

2.     Understand that it’s Okay to Fail

One mistake we do in life is to assume that it’s not okay to fail. It’s okay to fail. But it’s not okay to give up when you fail.

3.     Leverage your failures

Each failure is simply feedback on how to perfect your craft. Know that nothing works unless you act. According to Arthur Jones, you can’t teach anybody anything, success comes from good judgments. Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment”.

In conclusion, as you go through the journey of life, fall and stand gallantly because that’s one sure way of succeeding in life.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a mindset coach and public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Why You Don’t Need Excess Worry by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Worry is a part of human emotion, and every living entity worry about some things, some times. It’s practically natural. People worry about life, finance, children, health, academics, career and even personal development or spiritual life. All these however, can distract and take away someone’s peace.

Worry is an unfortunate habit, which many people have erroneously believe they can live without, but the stark truth is that no one can live without worry. It’s inbuit. Even when we think we have everything, we discover that there’s something we are lacking. These could be what money can’t buy. It’s instructive to note here that nobody is perfect, and nobody has everything because everybody is limited.

To further buttress the limitation of man, imagine the human body; we have eyes, legs, mouth, tongue, nose, anus, hands among others, but none can say it is more superior than the other. If the leg, eyes or nose says it’s more important, the anus can decide to close, and the body system will be uncomfortable as it won’t be able to discharge waste products. The eyes can’t say it’s more important than the ears, neither can the nose say it’s more important than the legs or hands. Every one of them has different and definite functions.

So, when one of the body parts is not working well, it can make one worry. But the good news is that it is only a good attitude that can help us overcome challenges. It’s instructive to note that worry does not solve problems, rather it escalates the problem.

Problems do exist, I mean real life problems, do exist, some can be physical, spiritual, psychological, mental, spiritual, etc. When you have any of these problems, please don’t spend so much energy on the problems because it can escalate or create new ones

Although you can’t stop worrying entirely, there are steps you can take to better manage your anxious thoughts and reduce rumination.

1.     Create a “worry period.” Choose a set time and place for worrying. It should be the same every day and early enough that it won’t make you anxious right before bedtime. During your worry period, you’re allowed to worry about whatever’s on your mind.

2.     Write down your worries. If an anxious thought or worry comes into your head during the day, make a brief note of it and then continue about your day. Remind yourself that you’ll have time to think about it later, so there’s no need to worry about it right now.

3.     Make a list of all the possible solutions you can think of. Focus on the things you have the power to change, rather than the circumstances or realities beyond your control.

4.     After you’ve evaluated your options, make a plan of action. Once you have a plan and start doing something about the problem, you’ll feel much less anxious.

5.     Get up and get moving.  Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment because it releases endorphins which relieve tension and stress, boost energy, and enhance your sense of well-being. Even more importantly, by really focusing on how your body feels as you move, you can interrupt the constant flow of worries running through your head.

6.     Meditate. Meditation works by switching your focus from worrying about the future or dwelling on the past to what’s happening right now. By being fully engaged in the present moment, you can interrupt the endless loop of negative thoughts and worries.

7.     Speak to a Licensed Therapist: Acknowledge and observe your worries. Don’t try to ignore, fight, or control them like you usually would. Instead, simply observe them as if from an outsider’s perspective, without reacting or judging. ‍Therapy has been shown to be extremely effective in helping people reduce worrying and manage anxiety.

8.     Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a powerful practice for reducing worrying, by teaching us awareness and acceptance of our thoughts and emotions in the present moment..  Psychotherapy provides a structured environment for individuals to learn practical skills and gain insights into their worrying patterns, ultimately helping them worry less and feel better.

Mindfulness effectively reduces symptoms of anxiety by teaching you to observe your worries without getting too caught up in them. One way to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life is through mindful breathing and meditation. Whenever you notice worrying thoughts coming up, gently bring your attention back to your breath, over time, regular mindfulness practice can help rewire the brain to respond to stressors more calmly, which reduces the impact of worrying on your mental health.

 

9.     Gratitude: Practicing gratitude is a powerful way to maintain a positive outlook and reduce worrying.  Research has shown that gratitude may reduce stress and improve mental health. Gratitude activates regions in the brain associated with dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter, leading to increased feelings of contentment and decreased worry.

By focusing on what we’re grateful for, we shift our attention away from negative thoughts, which ultimately helps us worry less. Start by keeping a gratitude journal and try writing down 5 things each day that you’re thankful for, no matter how small.

In conclusion, resolve today to be so strong that nothing and nobody can disturb your peace of mind.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: The Power in a Name by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

The power in a name, or inspiration and influence they come with, when properly triggered and applied, cannot be overestimated. Influence and name are powerful, and run pari passu. This is because in the journey of life, there are certain heights one can’t attain even with their resources. And that’s where ‘names’ and influence come in.

One might have all the grades, skills, and knowledge, but getting an opportunity might be difficult. Imagine having a good grade in school, but can’t find a commensurate job. As a matter of fact, someone with less qualification and experience might get the job simply because a man of influence endorsed their candidacy.  That’s why the saying; ‘a good name is better than riches’ is tantamount to a man with access to power is more influential than a man with knowledge but no access.

For one to succeed in our contemporary society, they need a helper who could either be a mentor, benefactor, an inspiration, or someone with influence, or all in one. All these refer to one thing – name. Names are powerful and open doors. A name can serve as an inspiration which can open doors of opportunity for anyone. I remember the day one of my mentors said to me that for his name to be on my resumè, I must earn it. That’s how powerful names can be.

To further buttress how powerful a name can be, let’s consider the following – In 2018, as a budding author, I reached out to one of my mentors, Chief Dele Momodu to give me a column to write in his online newspaper which is considered one of the biggest, if not the biggest online newspaper in Nigeria. He graciously agreed, advising me to be consistent.

Guess what, since that date, I haven’t missed a week. One may be wondering how I have been consistent,; well the answer is not far fetched, I couldn’t imagine failing Chief Dele Momodu. I couldn’t imagine producing articles that are below standard. In all sincerity, assuming someone else without a big name gave me the opportunity, maybe, I wouldn’t have taken it very seriously like I did for Chief Dele Momodu. This goes to tell you names are powerful.

Can you imagine working for the President of the United States of America or Elon Musk? One will almost be perfect. The same energy and detailed attention one pays to President Trump or Elon Musk will be different if given an opportunity to work for an elected council man or a businessman. This is because one would not like to risk a lifetime opportunity to serve with a man of influence.

The importance of inspiration in the life of a progressive man cannot be overemphasized. Everyone needs inspiration. Inspiration can come from various angles. It can be from a benefactor, mentor, teacher, parent, friend, a Minister of the gospel, or even one’s child.

Let me share a personal experience I had with another of my mentors – Dr. Joe Abah. In 2025, he organized #fitseptember physical exercise where he advised his followers to do a 30 push for the month of September. Again, in January, he organized #fitjanuary and I actively participated in it, and since then I haven’t missed one single day without exercising for at least ten minutes. Why is this analysis important? The name Dr. Joe Abah is a household name in Nigeria social-political space. Assuming it was a regular person who made the announcement on X, the comment wouldn’t have attracted the kind of attention that made it go viral.

Furthermore, it is worthy of note that there are five kinds of authority when it comes to principle of power in a name. They are; Revealed knowledge, empirical knowledge, rational knowledge, intuitive knowledge and authoritative knowledge. The focus here is on authoritative knowledge.

One may be wondering what authoritative knowledge is. This is a kind of knowledge reserved for those who have expertise on a particular issue or subject matter expert. When such a person speaks, their words are like law.

Let’s talk about men of influence. Men of influence are priceless. According to Apostle Joshua Selman, there are four kinds of destiny helpers: Divine Connectors, Men of Influence, Gifted People, and Burden Bearers. For the sake of this article, I will focus on men of influence. These are gatekeepers, mentors, or established experts with high credibility. Their endorsement or advocacy can override limitations, grant you access to closed doors, and elevate your trajectory.

In summary, honor men, but fear God because men are vessels God uses to bless people and humanity.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value: Run Your Race with Your Mates by Henry Ukazu

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Greetings Destiny Friends,

A race, in a literary sense, is a contest between two or more persons competing for a prize. A race can be a sprint, relay, marathon, middle-distance, long-distance, and hurdles. When it comes to running a race, every single step is important because a wrong move can affect the entire outcome. Can you imagine where an athlete has a faulty start or enters the lane of another athlete. That athlete will be disqualified. Can you also imagine a case where an athlete misses the baton; it will definitely affect their chances of winning the race.

Beyond the race on the tracks, there’s also a larger race on the field of life. This race is not interested in whether one is an athlete or not. It is open to everyone living. Consequently, everyone must run his race with his mates and contemporaries, and here’s why.

In the journey of life, everyone is entitled to running their individual races. Nobody will run another’s race for them; the best anyone can do for another is assist in providing an enabling environment for the race. For instance, our parents, mentors, siblings, relatives, benefactors, churches, government, among others have all contributed in one way or another to shape our journey. They did it so that we won’t be found wanting when we step out to the tracks to compete with mates.

Let’s face it, our parents, siblings, relatives may have supported us with resources in training us in schools. Our mentors, benefactors, government, churches, etc. may have provided an enabling environment and by putting the necessary structures for us excel.  The government can formulate policies that will enable progressive minds to thrive. All these acts are structured to give us an edge in life.

One may be wondering why this illustration important; well, the simple reason is because we must run our race at the right time, otherwise, we’ll be left behind. My beloved mother Lolo Agnes Ukazu, will always say, when your mates are running, run with them. That statement might sound ordinary, but it is very deep. One may be wondering what it means, well, it simply means, it’s always good to do the right thing at the right time. For instance, there’s a right time for one to go to school, get married, have kids, invest and give it back to society. When one misses a stage, it might be hard to get back on track. So, when one’s mate is going to school, please, if you have the time and resources, join them and go to school, marry, have children, invest, etc. because at the end of the day, everything will align together if done properly.

My late mother will always say, when one is born, the person won’t enter his/her mother’s womb again. The next task for the person is to run their race by fighting their war, and this entails running their race by taking ownership of their life. When your mates leave you behind, it might be difficult to catch up with them. May God help you if they have gone far.

It’s sad to see uniformed minds who always think their messiah or destiny helper will come from heaven. They fail to understand that “Power is never served a la carte“. One will have to struggle to earn it.  That’s simply how life works. Anything anyone desires, one will have to roll their sleeves and do the needful. If the universe is kind to you, it will send you destiny helpers, associates, benefactors, mentees, and resourceful people who can assist in birthing your vision.

The universe can also make the government formulate a policy for you. I have since come to the sublime submission that in life, we are the architect of our lives. According to my late dad, Chief Lazarus Ukazu, “any name anyone wants to answer, that person must work hard to earn the name. Again, this is running your race.

Overtime, I have discovered, when you begin a race, people from north and south will align together to assist you in birthing the vision all things being equal.  Most of the work I have been celebrated didn’t come because I was smart, even though smartness may have contributed, but the true success was a result of my accomplishment. For instance, as an author, I use my books to create curriculum for my target audience, meet resource people and organization.  I didn’t wait for my mentors or anyone to put me in the spotlight. Rather, they saw my work and appreciated the value and problems I was solving, and they extended a hand of fellowship to partner with me.

I didn’t fold my hands and wait for manna from above. No, I rolled my sleeves. I didn’t feel entitled to any favor, I didn’t complain, rather I fixed the problem, and as they say, the rest is history.

To run your race with your mates, timing is critical. You don’t want to have children at old age when you are supposed to be resting.  Imagine being in a Parents Teachers Association meeting with children who are supposed to be your kids. Again, when your mates are busy grinding by adding value to their life, please endeavor to do the same because when they get to the top, they’ll find resourceful people who have added to their life. So, imagine a case where one has developed themselves and they still fail, they still stand a better position to attract opportunities because of the bold actions and steps they have taken.

From personal experience, I have seen people who just relax with hope that if a friend succeeds and gets to the top or makes money, they will be remembered, but these uninformed minds don’t know that life doesn’t work that way. As an accomplished author and human capacity development expert, most of the heights I have attained were simple because I collaborated with resourceful minds working the same space or I had people who believed and saw value in my work.

I don’t know what your storyline is, I just want you to know that if you don’t run your race, other people will run it for you. My prayer for you is that you may not be a spectator in a race you are supposed to own.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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