Dear Destiny Friends,

Nobody is a above mistakes, so goes the popular saying. And everyone, living or dead, has at one time or another, made a mistake or failed in certain undertakings. This however, has nothing to do with how perfect one is, or may try to be, or even how lousy or unprofessional someone is. Even known perfectionists have been humbled by their own mistakes. But nobody should be subdued by their mistakes or failures because they are not as bad as they are viewed. They are actually stepping stones to greatness if well harnessed.

The only person who hasn’t made a mistake in life is the person who isn’t doing anything. Isn’t it true that the more you strive, the more opportunities come to you. When you make a mistake, it simply means you are doing something, and you are learning.

We have all, at certain times and levels, made mistakes in our businesses, academics, relationship/marriage, profession/vacation and even in our personal lives. Mistakes and failures go pari pasu. Failure is the aftermath of uncorrected mistake. When you fail and refuse to stand up, the failure will define you. The same way a mistake will only define you if you don’t learn from it. It’s quite unfortunate some people allow their mistakes to define them.

Did you know that a single mistake can lead to a major mistake that can set one back. Imagine having a resourceful person in your life, instead of learning from the person, you decide to beg the person for money. Imagine also, you are driving, and you miss an exit, one may have to reroute to the next available route to get back on track.

If you have made a mistake, please don’t be hard on yourself. The mistake can be a set up for success. Sometimes, we feel we have lost an opportunity, but we fail to understand that the mistake was orchestrated by the divine because you never know what’s likely to happen in the near future.

The journey to a fruitful life is not really a smooth ride. One will encounter mistakes and failures along the way. The experience one encounters is used to test the character of the person in addition to strengthening them when they fail.

One of the best ways to capture the relativity of mistakes and failures was captured by Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished ghost writer. According to him, “Anytime you fail, ask yourself these questions,; why did I fail? What lessons have I learnt? Am I grateful for the experience? How can I turn the failures into success? Where do I go from here? Who else has failed I this way and how can he help me?  How can my experience help others from failing? Did I fail because of another person, my situation or myself? Did I actually fail, or did I actually fall short of unrealistic high standards? In these circumstances, where did I succeed as well as fail”?

On a closer look of the above statement, one will decipher that both mistakes and failures are needed for success because they have advantages and disadvantages. It all depends on one’s understanding and approach to it. To put it in a more better perspective, see mistakes and failures like a pencil with eraser. When you fail or make a mistake in the journey to life, use the eraser to clean it and then begin again.

If you are intentional in achieving success; whenever you fail, and understand the cause of your failure, you will go to the drawing board to know where you missed it. When you discover the reason, don’t be hard on yourself, just pick yourself up and be grateful for the experience. Remember, if you don’t make mistakes, you won’t learn much. This is because a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other people’s mistakes so that he makes minimal mistakes.

One of the reasons people have failed and learnt from their mistakes is because they have accumulated so much practical experience. Imagine a person, who has failed in business or marriage, and is advising you on how to be successful in business or marriage; their advice will come from a place of experience. The same is applicable when they are advising you on what made them successful in their marriage or business. If you are smart enough, you will run with their words.

In our contemporary society, we tend to follow people who have only succeeded in their craft, and apportion little regard to those who have failed. A progressive and intentional mind will have a different mindset because they will know that whatever has the capacity to succeed also has the capacity to fail.

On a personal note, whenever I meet a resourceful person I adore, I always ask the person, what would you have done differently 20 years ago if you had the opportunity, or what has life taught you as well as what would be your advise to a young person who wants to succeed? All these are targeted to understanding the mistakes and failures the person experienced so I can learn and avoid it as opposed to focusing only on the reason they succeeded.

There’s no doubt circumstances, situations and human beings can contribute to the failure of anyone, but one thing is certain, we are responsible for our life because no matter what happens, circumstances don’t say who you are, they reveal who you are.

When you set high standards for yourself and fail, it’s not actually a failure per se, because you are trying to exceed expectations. Be positive and see the high standards as motivating yourself to do better as opposed to setting lower standards and exceeding expectations. The moral of this statement is for one not to be comfortable in their comfort zone.

In conclusion, if you are desirous of making an impact in the society, see mistakes, failures, and experience of life as life treasures. Remember, when you succeed, it is the failures, mistakes and your personal and professional experiences that will form stories. As a matter of fact, most people will be attracted more to your failures than your success because they will learn more from them.

So again, I will ask you, who has failed you, who has disappointed you, what mistakes have you made and learned from, and most importantly, how has your mistake and failures made you more efficient. In answering these questions, remember, don’t be hard on yourself.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Money is a universal language, and highly revered by all. There’s no one on earth, who can claim he doesn’t want money. Some love it. Some adore it while a whole lot of others worship it. Little wonder the Americans place a lot of premium on their dollar. An anonymous person was once quoted as saying that the ‘almighty dollar is the only object of worship’.

A famous American writer, Washington Irving, also noted that “The almighty dollar, that great object of universal devotion”. That is how much money is treasured among men. That is how much most men literally rever money.

My first mentor, who was my father, Chief Lazarus Ukazu, once said that ‘after God, money is the most important element in the world’, and there’s a limit to what people can do on earth without money.

Money operates with principles, which if followed, one will reap the fruit of his labour. Money operates with the principle of sowing and reaping. No matter how pious you are, there’s a limit of goodwill you can attract, especially if you don’t have value that will attract money to you.

The principle of money is universal. If you respect it, it will respect you; if you have value, you will attract it, and if you have good products and services as well as market them well to the right persons, you’ll attract money.

Every human being desires money because it helps to solve numerous problems if not all the problems in the world. Without money, there’s little one can do. Money helps to facilitate a lot of work and process. Without money it will be difficult to do good. Even the good Samaritan in the Bible had to use money to show love. Who knows who knows what would have happened to attacked man if the Samaritan lacked money. In fact, the Bible made it abundantly clear that “money answereth all things”.

Despite the goodness of money however, it can’t solve all of man’s problems. The use of money is limited in some situations. For instance, one might be a billionaire, but has limited authority to influence a policy. Elon Musk is regarded as the richest man on earth with an estimated net worth of $245 billion dollars according to Forbes in 2024. If he decides to run for election as Senator, Governor, or President, do you think he can win? Well, that’s a subjective analysis. The current Mayor of New York, Eric Adams wasn’t as wealthy as some of his contemporaries during the election, but he won the election. That simply explains that money has limits.

According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished Ghost Writer, “money will buy a bed, but not sleep. It will buy food but not appetite. It will buy amusement, not happiness. It will buy a house, not a home. Whether you have plenty or a little of money, always remember that it’s only a part of you. While money is representative of God’s abundance and is not evil, one must not be dominated by it. Remember also what Paul said, Godliness with contentment is great gain”.

Did you see that money is indeed limited. There are certain things money can do and cannot do. It’s sad to see uninformed men who think money is indeed everything. Despite the resourcefulness of money, there are certain people money can’t influence. For instance, majority of ladies can be wooed and lured with money, but it’s not all ladies’ money that can attract or buy. Some ladies feel disrespected when you try to lure them with money. Don’t get me wrong; ladies generally love money, but some are not fascinated with money as their love language. Money only makes sense to this set of people if they genuinely like you.

Just like some people’s love language is words affirmation, gift, services, physical touch and time, some people’s love language is money. When they see money, they tend to lose control of their senses. It’s important to state that we are meant to control money and not money controlling us. If money controls you, then you are a slave to money. Money is good no doubt, but it should be used to solve the needs of man.

Even men are not exempted from this philosophy. It’s not all men that money can buy. While some can be bribed cheaply, some can’t be bribed. This set of great minds are governed by integrity.

Furthermore, there are people who no matter how much money you have or how close you are to them, you can’t have them to work for you. Your prayer is for them to agree to work with you. These sets of great minds have developed high capacity, competence and capability, and more importantly, they are controlled by values and principles.

It’s truly sad to see people with the mindset that with money, they can literally have their way. These sets of people truly lack understanding because if they have understanding, they will realize that money is like air or fan. It will rotate to whoever it desires. Just like rain is everywhere, so it’s money everywhere. One just needs to know how to attract it in addition to making it work for you. In the same manner, a fan blows on everybody by rotating. Some, if you have money today, it can leave you and visit another person. So, if you don’t manage it well, it will leave you and visit who will appreciate it.

Money works like respect, if you respect it, it will respect you, if you treat it with disdain, it will respond accordingly.

To understand how the limitation of money works, one must have contentment. It is with contentment one will understand how to humble money. This is because contentment makes a poor man rich, while greed makes a rich man poor. Isn’t it true that one of the secrets of happiness is deriving joy in what you have as opposed to wishing for what you don’t have.

In conclusion, no doubt the importance of money is priceless, however, we must be mindful of the passion, interest and desires we have for money. When we have excess desires, it can lead to overzealousness and when we have it in moderation, we will derive fulfillment and joy.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

The concept of destiny is very broad because it means several things to several people in diverse fields including religious, politics, education, entrepreneurship or family. It’s meaning is however, dependent on the interpretation one gives to it. But one thing is certain, destiny connotes the end point or destination of somebody or something.

As the author of Design Your Destiny, I believe I am in a better position to speak about destiny and how it is applicable to life. Not only have my life been transformed by destiny, but I have also seen in real times how destiny played a significant role in the lives of ordinary people.

To understand the concept of destiny, I will be writing from an inspirational and rational point of view. It is important to state that for the emancipation of anyone, one needs to understand how life and the principles of life work work, otherwise, one will be confused.

It is normal for someone to be concerned about what the future holds for him. Sometimes, one will be concerned about where the next food or job opportunity will come from. I have good news for you though, relax, destiny is working purposely for your benefit. You don’t have to know, but just believe and trust the process.

No human being can know what will happen the next second, minute, day, week, month, year, and decade. We only live by the grace of God. So, don’t be anxious of what life has in stock for you, just do your best and continue to add value to your life, and the universe has a way of aligning circumstances and life for you. In my native country, we have a saying: nobody knows the stomach that will give birth to a king.

I have personally seen and experienced transformation in my life. I have seen the grace of God. I have seen people who the world has given up as people who don’t have any chance of making a headway in life, succeeding in an exponential manner. A classical case of study is former President Goodluck Jonathan, who rose from a humble position of being a lecturer to Deputy Governor, Governor, Vice President and President, in a way no rational mind can decipher.

What most uninformed people fail to understand is that nobody knows tomorrow, and God is the greatest orchestrator of human destiny.  It’s so sad to see some people play God. It’s also instructive to know that the son of a certified pauper can become a man of means tomorrow if properly educated.

To put it in better perspective, no matter how one may try, nobody knows who will be elected as a Representative, Senator, Governor of a State, or President of a country. Nobody even knows who the wealthiest man in the society will be when tomorrow comes.

One may have a mentor or a biological parent who may be wealthy, or in a position of authority, or influential in the society, and note that no matter how much your parent or your mentor will love you, he can’t dictate what will happen when they are no longer in authority. The best the person can do is to strategically position you or give you publicity within his network of influence, but that will not determine if you’ll get what you desire in the grand scheme of things.

To really understand how this works, let’s take a case of Nigeria, where a mentor might influence the position of someone who is likely to be the President or Governor of a State. Upon expiration of the mentee’s tenure, they might decide who their successor will be, and the successor will also determine who their successor will be, and the list continues.

Do you now see the concept of destiny is relative. The creator might position somebody to take a position 10, 20 or even 50 years ahead just to fulfil a purpose.

Let’s take another perspective of destiny; the creator of heaven and earth might strategically position somebody to travel out of the country just to fulfil a destined purpose. The person might not know he is being used to fulfil a purpose just like the devil can be used to ‘bless’ someone in disguise without knowing.

Destiny can be quite complicated, some people might be destined to be in a particular region, while others might be destined to succeed in another region. To know where you are destined to be, I will strongly advise everyone to reach out to their creator by seeking the face and mindset of God through prayer and meditation. God has a way of revealing his plans to everyone.

The sad part of life is sometimes, human beings try to play God by working out their destiny and purpose in life. They fail to realize that they didn’t create themselves and didn’t get whatever they have by their ability, rather by the grace of God.   Whenever, men think they are god, God will let them know in subtle ways, he is the Lord and God of gods. So, be humble about life because you don’t know what life will unfold for you. It is pertinent to mention that, when royalties are failing, God will raise people, stones to praise him, so be humble before life will humble you.

On a personal experience, during my chamber attachment while in Nigerian Law School, I was experiencing a little bit of financial challenge, especially living in the expensive City of Abuja, and as such, I was trying to mitigate cost. I reached out to the posting coordinator in law school to give me a nearby firm which won’t allow me to spend more money, he stated, such practice is not allowed. He was kind enough to listen to me to explain my reasons, he really felt for me and asked for the name of the firm I wanted to intern with, I gave him the name of the firm, he searched the directory, but couldn’t find the name of the firm. I didn’t know the law firm uses a partnership name as opposed to an individual name. He asked me a question, “are you a Christian”, I said yes, he said believe in your God. He used himself as an example, he said, as Muslim,  he doesn’t believe in working things out, because one might work out one’s destiny. I took his word to heart.

Guess what, when the list was posted, I was posted in my estate where I didn’t have to spend a dime on transportation. The funny part was that, assuming my plan worked out, I would have to pay a decent amount of my money to get to my desired law firm. Do you see God came through for me? It’s destiny at work. The most joyful part of it was that, not only did I work with a Senior Advocate of Nigeria, I had the humble opportunity of being on television on a number of cases because my boss was handling the case of the daughter of the former President of Nigeria at the said time.  More importantly, during my sojourn to the United States this great man played a significant role with his thoughtful advice and assistance.  He was later appointed a Minister by President Buhari in 2015., but the cold hands of death snatched him away.

Another interesting story was during my National Youth Service Corp. While most people were working out their posting, I refused to work out mine despite pressure from friends and family members. I borrowed some sense using my experience during my law school. Ordinarily, I was posted to a remote place, but God came through for me when the Governor of the State came with a friend of mine who works with African Independent Television to cover the event.

During one of our engagements, he mentioned to me, the Governor gave him 500milion naira to set up African Independent television in the state. This great man asked me to recruit youth corpers who will work for him, and he will pay them 100 thousand naira every month, and mine will be special. I thanked him for the opportunity and informed him, I won’t be able to deliver because I will travel to the US after my service year.  After a decade, this man facilitated an opportunity to interview in Abuja. The moral of the story is that, imagine if I worked out my posting, who knows where I would have been.

Furthermore, when destiny is at work, God can command a sick person who is supposed to die to live simply because it’s not yet time for the person to depart this sinful world.

In conclusion, regardless of what you are going through, please don’t be hard on yourself, whether you are looking for an opportunity, life partner, mentor, etc., just seek for the creator to design your destiny by connecting you to the right people who will enable you to fulfil his purpose concerning your life.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com