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Adding Value

Adding Value: Learning from the Experiences of Life by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

A wise man learns from his mistakes, a wiser name learns from other people’s mistakes – John Maxwell

As a progressive mind, one will continuously learn to improve himself. The only time we stop learning in life is when we give up the ghost. It is worthy of note that one of the beauties of learning is that it opens new layers and doors of opportunities, and comes with lessons, which in turn comes with experience, that makes one mature.

One of the sad realities of life however, is that we don’t want to die, but we want to go to heaven, and so do some people would like to succeed without making mistakes. They fail to understand that mistakes are part of life.

It’s instructive to note that when you are making mistakes, you are learning something new. I understand some people are perfectionists; they like to do things in certain ways, even if they can’t get it right hundred percent. I have news for such people; the best they can get is near perfection. Nobody’s life is perfect, except the creator of heaven and earth.

In the journey of life, everyone of us will surely experience life in one way or another. For instance, lessons and experience come to us via our career, marriage, academics, business, personal and even spiritual. Whenever life teaches you an experience, the best way to live through it is by seeing it as an experience. By doing so, you will be learning from it.

The mistake most people make is sulking whenever they have adversaries. Adversaries are not bad as some people see it. Sometimes they help to prevent bigger calamities from hurting you.

The lessons and experiences of life come to us in several ways. But one of the worst things that happen to anyone is to live in regret. Whenever you have made a mistake or life has taught you a strong lesson, don’t dwell on it for so long. What’s important is to learn from the experience and move on.

As a Human Capacity coach, I have had so many experiences relating with different people both younger and older people, and some of these people have one thing in common; mistakes. They recount the wrong choice and decisions they made many years ago, and it either hindered their growth or made them lose opportunities.

Let’s talk about the missed opportunities for a minute – sometimes, we meet influential people in the society or people who can assist us to get to our destination, but due to poverty mentality, bad attitude, not knowing what they want, or their inability to manage friendship and relationship, they fail to tap into the opportunities.

On a personal note, many people have reached out to me via emails, calls, messages, etc. to mentor them. The request has been so much for me to manage to the extent I have lost count. I decided to use my birthday to officially launch my free mentorship program for interested persons.

I had to put up a post during my birthday last week on all my social media requesting interested persons to state reasons they would love to be selected and mentored by me, so they will know the seriousness of what they are requesting and my time. Unfortunately, no single person reached out to me except via my WhatsApp where one person reached out. Though a friend reached out via Facebook messenger, I advised him to state his reasons via Facebook, but I’m yet to see it.

The moral here is that most of these young persons have lost valuable opportunities to learn and grow. Most of them are fine with asking for resources as opposed to learning how to fish. Well, that’s one of the lessons and experiences they will learn in life. This experience is not only applicable to young people, it has happened to older people, who have lost opportunities because of their positions on certain issues either online or in-person, lack of gratitude and appreciation, inability to build and manage valuable and strategic relationships.

Life has so many dynamic perspectives. To fully appreciate life, one must have the right mindset, understanding of life principles and skills of life. This is because principles are universal and don’t change, but methods do change.

According to Kenny Rogers, in his hittrack “the gambler” “One must know how to hold them, when to fold them, when to walk away and know when to run”. I believe Kenny Rogers must have experienced life in so many ways and learnt many lessons to release this hit track that’s filled with practical wisdom. So, the ability to understand how time changes and adapt to situations will help one to adjust to life because such is life.

Some of the practical life lessons and experience one will need to know as one move along life is that money will not solve all your problems. No matter how much one has, one will still need human beings because there are certain things money can’t buy or do for you regardless of the narrative out there about money. Sometimes, you need people because nobody can live and do life alone.

For instance, money can make you have friends who can make you laugh, money can buy you nice bed, but it can’t give you sleep or peace of mind; money can buy you a nice home, a luxury car, provide you security, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness. The “happiness”  money brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters.

Nothing is permanent in life. No matter your situation in life, say to yourself, this too shall pass because nothing is permanent. If you have lost an opportunity, made a mistake, failed an examination etc., do not fret…just have at the back of your mind that this too shall pass as nothing is permanent.

Another great lesson about life is that people change. Nobody remains the same forever, they either change for good or bad.

Always listen to your instincts. Your instincts cannot deceive you. Your instincts are like conscience. It speaks to you in uncommon and spontaneous ways. Whenever you don’t feel good about anything, it’s advisable to reconsider your actions. According to a sage, “in doubt, do not act”.

In conclusion, one needs to reflect about life, mistakes, actions, and more importantly, the experiences they have had over time, and either learn to adjust or stand their ground irrespective of circumstances.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: The Power in a Name by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

The power in a name, or inspiration and influence they come with, when properly triggered and applied, cannot be overestimated. Influence and name are powerful, and run pari passu. This is because in the journey of life, there are certain heights one can’t attain even with their resources. And that’s where ‘names’ and influence come in.

One might have all the grades, skills, and knowledge, but getting an opportunity might be difficult. Imagine having a good grade in school, but can’t find a commensurate job. As a matter of fact, someone with less qualification and experience might get the job simply because a man of influence endorsed their candidacy.  That’s why the saying; ‘a good name is better than riches’ is tantamount to a man with access to power is more influential than a man with knowledge but no access.

For one to succeed in our contemporary society, they need a helper who could either be a mentor, benefactor, an inspiration, or someone with influence, or all in one. All these refer to one thing – name. Names are powerful and open doors. A name can serve as an inspiration which can open doors of opportunity for anyone. I remember the day one of my mentors said to me that for his name to be on my resumè, I must earn it. That’s how powerful names can be.

To further buttress how powerful a name can be, let’s consider the following – In 2018, as a budding author, I reached out to one of my mentors, Chief Dele Momodu to give me a column to write in his online newspaper which is considered one of the biggest, if not the biggest online newspaper in Nigeria. He graciously agreed, advising me to be consistent.

Guess what, since that date, I haven’t missed a week. One may be wondering how I have been consistent,; well the answer is not far fetched, I couldn’t imagine failing Chief Dele Momodu. I couldn’t imagine producing articles that are below standard. In all sincerity, assuming someone else without a big name gave me the opportunity, maybe, I wouldn’t have taken it very seriously like I did for Chief Dele Momodu. This goes to tell you names are powerful.

Can you imagine working for the President of the United States of America or Elon Musk? One will almost be perfect. The same energy and detailed attention one pays to President Trump or Elon Musk will be different if given an opportunity to work for an elected council man or a businessman. This is because one would not like to risk a lifetime opportunity to serve with a man of influence.

The importance of inspiration in the life of a progressive man cannot be overemphasized. Everyone needs inspiration. Inspiration can come from various angles. It can be from a benefactor, mentor, teacher, parent, friend, a Minister of the gospel, or even one’s child.

Let me share a personal experience I had with another of my mentors – Dr. Joe Abah. In 2025, he organized #fitseptember physical exercise where he advised his followers to do a 30 push for the month of September. Again, in January, he organized #fitjanuary and I actively participated in it, and since then I haven’t missed one single day without exercising for at least ten minutes. Why is this analysis important? The name Dr. Joe Abah is a household name in Nigeria social-political space. Assuming it was a regular person who made the announcement on X, the comment wouldn’t have attracted the kind of attention that made it go viral.

Furthermore, it is worthy of note that there are five kinds of authority when it comes to principle of power in a name. They are; Revealed knowledge, empirical knowledge, rational knowledge, intuitive knowledge and authoritative knowledge. The focus here is on authoritative knowledge.

One may be wondering what authoritative knowledge is. This is a kind of knowledge reserved for those who have expertise on a particular issue or subject matter expert. When such a person speaks, their words are like law.

Let’s talk about men of influence. Men of influence are priceless. According to Apostle Joshua Selman, there are four kinds of destiny helpers: Divine Connectors, Men of Influence, Gifted People, and Burden Bearers. For the sake of this article, I will focus on men of influence. These are gatekeepers, mentors, or established experts with high credibility. Their endorsement or advocacy can override limitations, grant you access to closed doors, and elevate your trajectory.

In summary, honor men, but fear God because men are vessels God uses to bless people and humanity.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Run Your Race with Your Mates by Henry Ukazu

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Greetings Destiny Friends,

A race, in a literary sense, is a contest between two or more persons competing for a prize. A race can be a sprint, relay, marathon, middle-distance, long-distance, and hurdles. When it comes to running a race, every single step is important because a wrong move can affect the entire outcome. Can you imagine where an athlete has a faulty start or enters the lane of another athlete. That athlete will be disqualified. Can you also imagine a case where an athlete misses the baton; it will definitely affect their chances of winning the race.

Beyond the race on the tracks, there’s also a larger race on the field of life. This race is not interested in whether one is an athlete or not. It is open to everyone living. Consequently, everyone must run his race with his mates and contemporaries, and here’s why.

In the journey of life, everyone is entitled to running their individual races. Nobody will run another’s race for them; the best anyone can do for another is assist in providing an enabling environment for the race. For instance, our parents, mentors, siblings, relatives, benefactors, churches, government, among others have all contributed in one way or another to shape our journey. They did it so that we won’t be found wanting when we step out to the tracks to compete with mates.

Let’s face it, our parents, siblings, relatives may have supported us with resources in training us in schools. Our mentors, benefactors, government, churches, etc. may have provided an enabling environment and by putting the necessary structures for us excel.  The government can formulate policies that will enable progressive minds to thrive. All these acts are structured to give us an edge in life.

One may be wondering why this illustration important; well, the simple reason is because we must run our race at the right time, otherwise, we’ll be left behind. My beloved mother Lolo Agnes Ukazu, will always say, when your mates are running, run with them. That statement might sound ordinary, but it is very deep. One may be wondering what it means, well, it simply means, it’s always good to do the right thing at the right time. For instance, there’s a right time for one to go to school, get married, have kids, invest and give it back to society. When one misses a stage, it might be hard to get back on track. So, when one’s mate is going to school, please, if you have the time and resources, join them and go to school, marry, have children, invest, etc. because at the end of the day, everything will align together if done properly.

My late mother will always say, when one is born, the person won’t enter his/her mother’s womb again. The next task for the person is to run their race by fighting their war, and this entails running their race by taking ownership of their life. When your mates leave you behind, it might be difficult to catch up with them. May God help you if they have gone far.

It’s sad to see uniformed minds who always think their messiah or destiny helper will come from heaven. They fail to understand that “Power is never served a la carte“. One will have to struggle to earn it.  That’s simply how life works. Anything anyone desires, one will have to roll their sleeves and do the needful. If the universe is kind to you, it will send you destiny helpers, associates, benefactors, mentees, and resourceful people who can assist in birthing your vision.

The universe can also make the government formulate a policy for you. I have since come to the sublime submission that in life, we are the architect of our lives. According to my late dad, Chief Lazarus Ukazu, “any name anyone wants to answer, that person must work hard to earn the name. Again, this is running your race.

Overtime, I have discovered, when you begin a race, people from north and south will align together to assist you in birthing the vision all things being equal.  Most of the work I have been celebrated didn’t come because I was smart, even though smartness may have contributed, but the true success was a result of my accomplishment. For instance, as an author, I use my books to create curriculum for my target audience, meet resource people and organization.  I didn’t wait for my mentors or anyone to put me in the spotlight. Rather, they saw my work and appreciated the value and problems I was solving, and they extended a hand of fellowship to partner with me.

I didn’t fold my hands and wait for manna from above. No, I rolled my sleeves. I didn’t feel entitled to any favor, I didn’t complain, rather I fixed the problem, and as they say, the rest is history.

To run your race with your mates, timing is critical. You don’t want to have children at old age when you are supposed to be resting.  Imagine being in a Parents Teachers Association meeting with children who are supposed to be your kids. Again, when your mates are busy grinding by adding value to their life, please endeavor to do the same because when they get to the top, they’ll find resourceful people who have added to their life. So, imagine a case where one has developed themselves and they still fail, they still stand a better position to attract opportunities because of the bold actions and steps they have taken.

From personal experience, I have seen people who just relax with hope that if a friend succeeds and gets to the top or makes money, they will be remembered, but these uninformed minds don’t know that life doesn’t work that way. As an accomplished author and human capacity development expert, most of the heights I have attained were simple because I collaborated with resourceful minds working the same space or I had people who believed and saw value in my work.

I don’t know what your storyline is, I just want you to know that if you don’t run your race, other people will run it for you. My prayer for you is that you may not be a spectator in a race you are supposed to own.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Do Not Be Envious by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

It’s impossible for any mortal person to claim that he has not at one time or another felt envious. In other words, everyone somehow has wished they have something other people; friends, partners, siblings, colleagues or even family members, have. It is worthy of note that the Creator of heaven and earth designed the universe in such a way that everyone needs to depend on one another for survival. Nobody has it all.

While one person may be gifted in singing, another might be gifted in praying, healing, speaking or writing. Yet another might be gifted in playing soccer, while another might be gifted in sprinting, tennis, swimming, and more.

As a Human Capacity Development expert, I have come to realize that we all have different strengths and weaknesses. The mistake most people make is to chase what is not chasing them instead of focusing on developing themselves.

When you develop yourself, it will be easy for other people to appreciate and support you, but when you focus your energy on being jealous of what other people have, you deprive yourself of attracting blessings and opportunities to your life. As a Life coach, I always tell my tribe, major on your major and work on your weakness.

Envy is not only when one is jealous of what someone has, it also means greed when one is not satisfied with what one has. Isn’t it true that greed makes a rich man poor and contentment makes a rich man poor. It is important to note that you can’t attract what you hate. If you see anyone thriving, please if you can’t support them, please leave them the way you are instead of pulling them down.

One of the best ways to succeed in life is to know oneself. According to Socrates, “man know thyself”. When you understand who you are, you will understand what’s unique about you, and you won’t be concerned about the activities of others. The benefit of self-discovery is priceless. Self-discovery will help you to make the right choice, it will assist you to unleash your potential, and it will ultimately help you to be intentional with your life.

One of the reasons why envy is paramount is that we don’t practice gratitude and appreciation. Most often, we look towards what we lack instead of looking at what we have. There’s an adage that says, it is because the philosopher was too busy to get to the promised land that he forgot there’s a ditch in front of him and he fell inside. That’s the philosophy of envy.

It’s instructive to note that envy is not only deadly, but also “cancerous” because when it envelops someone, it blinds the person not to see the good in others. Envy, if not properly managed, can cause more than damage.

There was a story about two friends- John and Paul. John woke up one morning to a gleaming new model Toyota Camry in Paul’s garage. He went green with envy, and by the next day, he had the same brand of car in his own garage to prove a point. Unknown to John, he didn’t know that Paul’s car was a gift from his wealthy father-in-law. John on the other hand had to exhaust all his savings to buy his own car just to prove whatever point he had in mind.

At the end of the day, Paul was smiling well and living his best life, but John was experiencing financial challenges that threatened his marriage because of his pride and greed to prove a point. The moral of this message is to desist from competing   with people, rather compete with oneself by being better than you were yesterday.

One good reason why envy and covetousness are such terrible afflictions is because what is right for others may not be right for you. If your motivation is to have what others have, your decisions will be targeted at the wrong or goal. Your goal must be self-geared and not to keep up with the neighbors.

It’s instructive to note that we are not on earth to impress anyone, except God. Yes, it’s good to impress our boss at work, our friends, family members, mentors, and benefactors, etc., it should be done with moderation. What is important is for one to know the intention behind whatever they are doing. This is because when you try to please man, you’ll fail, but when we try to do the right thing, everything will fall in place.  According to Bill Cosby, I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone. Moral: Just do you and everyone will be fine because at the end of the day, those that care, don’t matter and those that matter don’t care.

In conclusion, as you journey towards life, please avoid envy, run from it and be satisfied with what you have.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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