Greetings Destiny Friends,

A race, in a literary sense, is a contest between two or more persons competing for a prize. A race can be a sprint, relay, marathon, middle-distance, long-distance, and hurdles. When it comes to running a race, every single step is important because a wrong move can affect the entire outcome. Can you imagine where an athlete has a faulty start or enters the lane of another athlete. That athlete will be disqualified. Can you also imagine a case where an athlete misses the baton; it will definitely affect their chances of winning the race.

Beyond the race on the tracks, there’s also a larger race on the field of life. This race is not interested in whether one is an athlete or not. It is open to everyone living. Consequently, everyone must run his race with his mates and contemporaries, and here’s why.

In the journey of life, everyone is entitled to running their individual races. Nobody will run another’s race for them; the best anyone can do for another is assist in providing an enabling environment for the race. For instance, our parents, mentors, siblings, relatives, benefactors, churches, government, among others have all contributed in one way or another to shape our journey. They did it so that we won’t be found wanting when we step out to the tracks to compete with mates.

Let’s face it, our parents, siblings, relatives may have supported us with resources in training us in schools. Our mentors, benefactors, government, churches, etc. may have provided an enabling environment and by putting the necessary structures for us excel.  The government can formulate policies that will enable progressive minds to thrive. All these acts are structured to give us an edge in life.

One may be wondering why this illustration important; well, the simple reason is because we must run our race at the right time, otherwise, we’ll be left behind. My beloved mother Lolo Agnes Ukazu, will always say, when your mates are running, run with them. That statement might sound ordinary, but it is very deep. One may be wondering what it means, well, it simply means, it’s always good to do the right thing at the right time. For instance, there’s a right time for one to go to school, get married, have kids, invest and give it back to society. When one misses a stage, it might be hard to get back on track. So, when one’s mate is going to school, please, if you have the time and resources, join them and go to school, marry, have children, invest, etc. because at the end of the day, everything will align together if done properly.

My late mother will always say, when one is born, the person won’t enter his/her mother’s womb again. The next task for the person is to run their race by fighting their war, and this entails running their race by taking ownership of their life. When your mates leave you behind, it might be difficult to catch up with them. May God help you if they have gone far.

It’s sad to see uniformed minds who always think their messiah or destiny helper will come from heaven. They fail to understand that “Power is never served a la carte“. One will have to struggle to earn it.  That’s simply how life works. Anything anyone desires, one will have to roll their sleeves and do the needful. If the universe is kind to you, it will send you destiny helpers, associates, benefactors, mentees, and resourceful people who can assist in birthing your vision.

The universe can also make the government formulate a policy for you. I have since come to the sublime submission that in life, we are the architect of our lives. According to my late dad, Chief Lazarus Ukazu, “any name anyone wants to answer, that person must work hard to earn the name. Again, this is running your race.

Overtime, I have discovered, when you begin a race, people from north and south will align together to assist you in birthing the vision all things being equal.  Most of the work I have been celebrated didn’t come because I was smart, even though smartness may have contributed, but the true success was a result of my accomplishment. For instance, as an author, I use my books to create curriculum for my target audience, meet resource people and organization.  I didn’t wait for my mentors or anyone to put me in the spotlight. Rather, they saw my work and appreciated the value and problems I was solving, and they extended a hand of fellowship to partner with me.

I didn’t fold my hands and wait for manna from above. No, I rolled my sleeves. I didn’t feel entitled to any favor, I didn’t complain, rather I fixed the problem, and as they say, the rest is history.

To run your race with your mates, timing is critical. You don’t want to have children at old age when you are supposed to be resting.  Imagine being in a Parents Teachers Association meeting with children who are supposed to be your kids. Again, when your mates are busy grinding by adding value to their life, please endeavor to do the same because when they get to the top, they’ll find resourceful people who have added to their life. So, imagine a case where one has developed themselves and they still fail, they still stand a better position to attract opportunities because of the bold actions and steps they have taken.

From personal experience, I have seen people who just relax with hope that if a friend succeeds and gets to the top or makes money, they will be remembered, but these uninformed minds don’t know that life doesn’t work that way. As an accomplished author and human capacity development expert, most of the heights I have attained were simple because I collaborated with resourceful minds working the same space or I had people who believed and saw value in my work.

I don’t know what your storyline is, I just want you to know that if you don’t run your race, other people will run it for you. My prayer for you is that you may not be a spectator in a race you are supposed to own.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

It’s impossible for any mortal person to claim that he has not at one time or another felt envious. In other words, everyone somehow has wished they have something other people; friends, partners, siblings, colleagues or even family members, have. It is worthy of note that the Creator of heaven and earth designed the universe in such a way that everyone needs to depend on one another for survival. Nobody has it all.

While one person may be gifted in singing, another might be gifted in praying, healing, speaking or writing. Yet another might be gifted in playing soccer, while another might be gifted in sprinting, tennis, swimming, and more.

As a Human Capacity Development expert, I have come to realize that we all have different strengths and weaknesses. The mistake most people make is to chase what is not chasing them instead of focusing on developing themselves.

When you develop yourself, it will be easy for other people to appreciate and support you, but when you focus your energy on being jealous of what other people have, you deprive yourself of attracting blessings and opportunities to your life. As a Life coach, I always tell my tribe, major on your major and work on your weakness.

Envy is not only when one is jealous of what someone has, it also means greed when one is not satisfied with what one has. Isn’t it true that greed makes a rich man poor and contentment makes a rich man poor. It is important to note that you can’t attract what you hate. If you see anyone thriving, please if you can’t support them, please leave them the way you are instead of pulling them down.

One of the best ways to succeed in life is to know oneself. According to Socrates, “man know thyself”. When you understand who you are, you will understand what’s unique about you, and you won’t be concerned about the activities of others. The benefit of self-discovery is priceless. Self-discovery will help you to make the right choice, it will assist you to unleash your potential, and it will ultimately help you to be intentional with your life.

One of the reasons why envy is paramount is that we don’t practice gratitude and appreciation. Most often, we look towards what we lack instead of looking at what we have. There’s an adage that says, it is because the philosopher was too busy to get to the promised land that he forgot there’s a ditch in front of him and he fell inside. That’s the philosophy of envy.

It’s instructive to note that envy is not only deadly, but also “cancerous” because when it envelops someone, it blinds the person not to see the good in others. Envy, if not properly managed, can cause more than damage.

There was a story about two friends- John and Paul. John woke up one morning to a gleaming new model Toyota Camry in Paul’s garage. He went green with envy, and by the next day, he had the same brand of car in his own garage to prove a point. Unknown to John, he didn’t know that Paul’s car was a gift from his wealthy father-in-law. John on the other hand had to exhaust all his savings to buy his own car just to prove whatever point he had in mind.

At the end of the day, Paul was smiling well and living his best life, but John was experiencing financial challenges that threatened his marriage because of his pride and greed to prove a point. The moral of this message is to desist from competing   with people, rather compete with oneself by being better than you were yesterday.

One good reason why envy and covetousness are such terrible afflictions is because what is right for others may not be right for you. If your motivation is to have what others have, your decisions will be targeted at the wrong or goal. Your goal must be self-geared and not to keep up with the neighbors.

It’s instructive to note that we are not on earth to impress anyone, except God. Yes, it’s good to impress our boss at work, our friends, family members, mentors, and benefactors, etc., it should be done with moderation. What is important is for one to know the intention behind whatever they are doing. This is because when you try to please man, you’ll fail, but when we try to do the right thing, everything will fall in place.  According to Bill Cosby, I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone. Moral: Just do you and everyone will be fine because at the end of the day, those that care, don’t matter and those that matter don’t care.

In conclusion, as you journey towards life, please avoid envy, run from it and be satisfied with what you have.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Everyone experiences life in different ways. There’s absolutely nobody on planet earth who hasn’t encountered situations or circumstances that shaped them or gave them different perceptions of life. No matter how we try, we can’t run away from problems. A friend once jokingly said, problems are like women; they are the “necessary evil” you can’t avoid, especially when they have an interest in you.

We all experience life in our families, relationships, academics, spiritual life, careers, health, and even personal life. But what makes the ultimate difference is how we’ll react to it.

Let me explain a little bit using a case study of family, health, career, academic, spiritual, and personal aspects.

Family

It’s instructive to note that what makes a family is secret, so imagine a case where the secret of a family is divulged. There’s bound to be problems that will arise. Another scenario is when a family experiences the death of a loved one. I think that’s one of the most painful experiences one can ever experience because losing a loved one is no joke. The death of a family member can shatter a family if not properly managed.

Imagine a case where the head of the family, say a father, passes to glory and his wife is not financially stable to manage the family. The children will experience challenges that will shape their future. The question we need to ask ourselves is, how do we manage death when it happens?

Health

Another scenario that can shape us is our health. Health is so important that without it, one will not be able to function properly. There have been life-threatening health cases that lead to the untimely death of a sick patient. The question we need to ask ourselves is: how do we respond to these health challenges when it comes to us?

Career

Do you know your career can serve as an encounter which can shape you? Yes, an encounter is like an experience which can make one not remain the same. Do you also know that your career can make or mar you? Yes, while one’s career can serve as an instrument to one’s success, it can also lead to the demise of someone, especially if it’s not a purposeful career befitting the person.

Academic

Some schools of thought say that examination is not the true test of knowledge. There have been situations where one’s academic background can metamorphose them in the right direction, especially when one is intentional and purposeful in their chosen academic pursuit, and there have been scenarios when someone ventured into academic pursuits that are not suitable for them.

I was once a victim of this ugly experience when I ventured into Taxation Law at New York Law School. Despite earning a scholarship in the program, I knew for a fact, assuming I got a job, it won’t be fulfilling because I will be a victim of defective success.

Spiritual

One of the most defining moments of one’s life can be seen in their spiritual life. It’s sad to see most people playing with their spiritual life. They fail to realize that spirituality controls the physical. When we talk of spirituality, there are two types. Those for God and those for gods. It’s always good for one to align to one side, but as a matter of advice, it’s always good for one to stay on the side of God.

There are many situations that would have ended one’s life, but due to one’s neglect of one’s spiritual life, the life can be cut short. Question: How do you respond to spiritual things when spiritual forces push you around?

Personal

Last but not least is our personal life. How we respond to life challenges in our academic, health, finance, relationship, career, or even spiritual life can determine how far we go in life. Remember, it’s instructive to note that it is our attitude and not aptitude that will determine our altitude to life.

The big question we need to ask ourselves now is: how do we respond to these challenging circumstances or issues? The answer is attitude. You’ll agree with me, you may not always be able to choose your circumstances, but you can choose to respond to them.

There was a touching story about a man who was unjustly and wrongfully convicted for murder, and he spent many years in prison awaiting trial, another fifteen years for final judgment to be delivered, and yet another ten years on death row. In all this travail, he managed to keep his sanity.

Finally, on the day he was to be executed, fresh evidence indicating his innocence prompted the governor to order his immediate release. At the prison gates he sad “ all a man can be taken from him, except the last form of the human freedoms, -the power to choose one’s attitude in all circumstances”.

Do you see, life is not really about what happens to us, but how we react. That’s what will make the difference.

In conclusion, regardless of how life challenges, circumstances, and situations push you around, just have a good attitude and outlook to life. Don’t allow it to weigh you down.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com