Adding Value
Adding Value: The Rules of Success by Henry Ukazu
Published
3 years agoon
By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
Everything in life has rules and processes. There is every tendency that one may hit the rocks if for any reason he fails to adhere to the set rules and processes. It is only on rare occasions that the luck or “grace factor” can come to one’s rescue. In legal matters, one must understand the laws, rules and exceptions to win a case. In mathematics, one must know the formula while in medicine, diagnosis is a prerequisite to ascertain the cause of any illness.
The focus of this article is on the necessity of soft skills in achieving success. Note that rules bordering on success are not exhaustive; they are more like basic and insightful ideas one can explore if one is determined to succeed.
Just like there are many ways to kill a rat, there are also many ways to succeed. However, one thing is certain, one must follow and adopt relevant principles. Principles are universal, and once rightly applied, one is bound to reap the benefits. I will be sharing some of the principles a diligent, progressive and success-prone mind can adopt.
While reading, working hard and smart on your business are important, it is imperative to note that learning a skill, developing your talent and gifts are equally important success magnets a rational mind must adopt. Some of these success principles which I call success magnets are built into soft skills among which are building capacity, having a good reputation, being diligent, consistency, networking, personal relationship, good attitude, good communication, problem solving skills, creativity and empathy.
You may be wondering how one applies these soft skills? Let’s start from the area of building capacity. In any area you would like to get prominence, you must endeavor to learn as much as possible to gain credibility. When you have developed capacity, it will be easy to apply soft skills. It is sad to note that sometimes, some people put the cart before the horse, and think the universe will favour them. No, you must understand the process. No serious mind will give you an opportunity when you are yet to develop capacity. When you develop capacity, it will be easy to apply the soft skills.
Even if you haven’t developed capacity, you can creatively use soft skills to learn how to develop capacity if you have a good communication skill, great mindset and attitude.
These soft skills might sound ordinary, but trust me, they are very fundamental. This is because, even with theoretical and practical knowledge, if you don’t have these soft skills, you might appear unattractive. But if you have these soft skills, you can learn both theoretical and practical knowledge.
It is easy to say ‘I want to succeed’, but when we are exposed to the diligent and consistent work we must do, we’ll rather remain in our comfort zone. Trust me, I have been there, but I refuse to stay there because I have since understood that there’s no gain in playing little when you can play big.
On a personal note, I normally do all within my reach to give my best shot by preparing for the best and expecting the worst to the extent it goes south. As you may know, nothing is guaranteed in life, no matter how hard you work, or how much trust you may have in your work. You can do all you are expected to do and still fail. Yes, you can have theoretical, practical and social skills and still fail. In such a situation, just know that your time has not come yet.
It’s important to note that there’s no substitute for excellence. It’s either the work is good or not. To achieve excellence, endeavor to spend one percent of your time in an area of your life you have a strong interest in or whatever you are passionate about. By doing, you will develop expertise.
Another great rule for success is surrounding yourself with greatness. By this, I mean people who are exceptionally good in what they do. They might not be in your areas of interest, but if they are, that’s a plus. These people might be younger or older than you, they must have certain traits or values you admire, but more importantly, they should bring out the best in you.
Most times, in our quest to make an impact in life, we tend to focus on hard work which is good, but experience and life has taught me to focus on what ignites your spirit and soft silks can be the game-changer. When you channel your energy on where you are celebrated, you will understand the importance of value. Imagine working with someone who doesn’t understand the value you bring to the table, all your work will be considered as mere service, but someone with a heart of service, gratitude and appreciation knows the importance of value when they see one. This is the simple reason why most employers and resourceful beings make conscious efforts to retain certain people despite the noise outside.
When you are successful, there’s this level of happiness and fulfillment that comes to you. This success comes to you because you have done something unique like having mentors or role models. Let’s take a minute to discuss mentors and role models, and their importance.
If you will agree with me, success leaves clues where it derived its strength and foundation. There’s nothing in life that doesn’t have a foundation. As you journey through life, find mentors and role models who have already achieved what you would like to achieve. Just like you study what the happiest couples have done to stay together for decades if want true love; you can also learn from the experience of those whose marriage didn’t work, they might give you one or two advice that might be more beneficial to you than couples whose marriage never broke up.
If your dream is to be the best lawyer in your city or State, study what the best lawyers in your city or country did to achieve their reputations. If you want to be a World Champion, study the lives of World Champions, and learn how they did it. If you want to be a millionaire, find millionaire role models who you would like to be someday. If you want to be an entrepreneur, find a few entrepreneurs who inspire you and study how they achieved what they have. Without a doubt, mentors and role models are your shortcuts to unleashing your greatness. By learning from the experiences of others, you will increase your possibility of succeeding, and avoid unnecessary mistakes.
Give and Give: This principle is mind-blowing. As humans, we are naturally selfish, we do care for ourselves most times more than others do. Don’t get me wrong, you need to care for yourself first. However, for the purpose of this principle, I want you to know that you will get what you want faster when you help other people to achieve what they want. Life is not about you, neither is it centered on you . The average man seeks what he can receive from the world. The extraordinary man seeks what he can give to the world. When you assist other people without having an expectation, they will be glad to go the extra mile for you if they have an appreciative mindset. And of course, a lot of people do!
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s a Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright to Success. He can be reached info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Crave the Circle of Your Betters by Henry Ukazu
Published
3 days agoon
February 28, 2026By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
A credible relationship is a valuable currency. A great relationship is priceless. The relationship is even more monumental, when it is contracted with persons much better in status, intelligence, reach and spread, and capabilities than one. Several people come into an individual’s life for several reasons; some are parasitic, while a great many others are symbiotic. However, many people still do not understand the value of having a valuable relationship, in other words, a relationship with someone better than ‘you’.
To succeed in the journey of life, one needs to understand who they are, and know what they want. It’s one thing to know who you are, and another thing to know what you want. Some people know who they are yet unable to decipher what they actually want, while some others know what they want, but lack the ability to know who they are. Let me explain.
If you know who you are, it will be easier to see what you want from someone. For instance, the first thing a single man/lady, who is interested in marriage should figure out is who they are (their temperament, strength, weakness, personality, values, and interest). The ability to know these fundamental information will help to figure out who will complement them.
In another scenario, some people know what they want, but don’t really know who they are. This is why I strongly advocate self-discovery training for anyone interested in starting a business or having a life partner.
I can’t underemphasize the importance of associating with people better than you. On a personal note, my most defining moment in the journey of life and business is relationship. Not only is this relationship defining and resourceful, it is valuable and priceless because I relate closely with people better and more resourceful than me.
A wise man once stated that ‘if I have attained success, it is because I stood on the shoulders of giants’. According to the sage, great men have great habits, they carefully select their partners, a step into their life will make a difference in your own life, absorb their books, listen to their tapes and you will be great like them. As a cultured Nigerian man, we have a saying that ‘when a child washes his hands, he will dine with elders’.
One might be wondering the reasoning behind all these parables. Well, the answer is not far-fetched; it’s all about associating with people better than you, and this is all about relationships. If you don’t have a great relationship with people, it will be hard for them to relate closely with you. Relationship is a skill that needs to be nurtured.
One of the secrets of the little success and impact I have made is the people in my life. I have great and resourceful mentors, who have really made great impacts in life. Based on my personal experience with them, they have introduced me to great minds and have given me access and opportunities money and hard work can’t buy. There are heights I know I may never have attain if not because of God and human relationship.
Did you know that just like mercy works with grace, favor works with relationships. Did you know that just like where your prayers cannot reach, your sacrifice can get you there. In the same vein, where your education can’t get you, your relationship will get you there.
It’s unfortunate that many people don’t know the importance of associating with people better than them. You might be brilliant, sophisticated, confident, and maybe even successful, but I can guarantee you that there’s something you will need because nobody knows or has it all. The truth of the matter is that you can’t be shorter and taller than everyone at the same time. So, no matter how brilliant, sophisticated, confident or even successful one may appear to be, there are people who are more brilliant, more sophisticated, more confident and even more successful than yhem, so be humble just as your heavenly father is humble.
In another way, even when people may not be as smart and confident as you are, the irony of life is that someone somewhere is wishing they were half blessed are you are. Do you see the irony of life? Regardless of where you may belong between these two extremes, resolve today to start associating with those who are better than you. If, for instance, you are afflicted with self-doubt, avoid Brother Thomas, instead visit and cultivate Father Abraham, the grand patriarch of the faith family. If you are a stingy person, begin to associate with a generous mind.
Association in life really matters if they are healthy and valuable, but when it begins to affect your mental health, please avoid it because it is what you feed your mind on that it will digest and send to the universe.
In conclusion, be intentional in cultivating healthy relationships because a large chunk of what happens in your life will be shaped by the people you allowed into it.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Confidence and Succces by Henry Ukazu
Published
1 week agoon
February 21, 2026By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
Did you know confidence is a currency? Confidence is not about one’s strength, but about one’s ability, capacity, capability and competence. When someone is confident, it can be felt. One doesn’t have to say much because their work will speak for them.
Confidence works in all fields of life. A man who wants to talk to a lady must have a level of confidence; a prospective employee must have confidence to pass his examination, and a public speaker must have a decent amount of confidence to speak.
In the legal world, a Latin maxim suggests, “Res Ipsa Loquitur,” meaning that the fact speaks for itself. For the sake of clarity, the maxim means that one doesn’t have to provide much explanation to prove a point in the court of law. For instance, white is white and black is black. So, when one is confident about their work, they don’t need to speak too much about because the work will speak for itself.
To further understand how confidence works, consider Walter Payton’s exposition on knowing the difference between Good and Great; “when you are good at something, you tell everyone, when you’re great at something, they’ll tell you. Isn’t it true that noise is loud while creation is silent? Sometimes, I do wonder why people have the urge to boast about their achievements as opposed to allowing other people to sing their praises. Please, don’t misunderstand me, it’s good to speak about oneself in addition to having high self-esteem; however, the balance is having moderation.
Confidence always stays in the family of humility; they are opposed to pride and arrogance, and those who always feel entitled and sarcastic. Most great leaders who know their worth are humble and charitable in their relationship with those who are inferior, as against arrogant leaders.
Confidence works in different ways.
Whether you are preparing for an examination, a career promotion, soccer, or an athletic competition, you need confidence, because that’s what will set you apart from your contemporaries. That’s why it’s always and generally good to prepare before you begin any major task; failure to do this can lead to disaster because failing to prepare is preparing to fail.
Imagine being called upon to speak or lead an organization; if you don’t do your homework diligently, you are setting yourself up for failure. Contrast the case to a scenario where you could meet President Trump, Elon Musk, or even your idol who has inspired you to become great, and you came prepared with your questions.
Trust me, at the end of the time, if my thinking is right, you might not remain the same again because a lot of mental transformation may have taken place. As a matter of fact, lots of opportunities might open for you to explore simply because you made yourself available and have the confidence to speak up.
Inasmuch as it is generally good for one to prepare, in some cases, one just has to swim inside the oceans because there’s little or no time for preparation. This is an exception to the general rule of life which advocates preparation. I can relate to this rule because I was a victim.
I can vividly remember when I arrived the United States of America and joined the Nigerian Lawyers Association as a graduate student. During the election, I picked up the form for Public Relations Officer; no one contested for the position, so I won unopposed. The interesting thing about this position was that I wasn’t prepared to assume the position; I felt it was like one of those organizations I could handle like I did while in Nigeria. However, one thing is certain: I had subtle confidence in my ability even though I knew the journey would be challenging. The result and experience were totally different.
Confidence doesn’t come easily; it has to be nurtured with preparation, just like gold has to go through fire in the furnace to become refined.
In conclusion, I would like to ask you, what gives you strength, what makes you happy, and what do you do with relative ease? When you figure it out, please focus on it and build it. By the time you are done, you will be amazed at what you have accomplished by applying confidence to your personality.
In conclusion, as your journey in life, please note that foundations are critical in life. They can either mar or make you. So, please pay attention to the foundation you are laying down because at the end of the day, the way you make your bed is the way you will lie on it.
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Build the Right Foundation by Henry Ukazu
Published
2 weeks agoon
February 14, 2026By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
If you are asked, what your foundation is, what would be your response? In case, you are wondering the kind of foundation meant, consider the following. Foundation means different things to different people and even different organizations. A student’s foundation may be linked to how their parents trained them, through elementary, High school and college. A Christian foundation might be linked to their knowledge of the Bible and encounter with God. The formidability of a house or structure is traceable to its foundation just as an employee’s or Chief Executive Officer’s work ethic can be linked to their foundational years in service.
Foundations are very critical in life. When the foundation is not right, there is bound to be a problem. It is rightly said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a step in the right direction. Did you know that foundation can affect one’s business, education, faith, career, development if success, if not properly aligned.
Let’s take a case study of an entrepreneur who is trying to develop or market a product. Initially, there will be challenge, especially when he has not been able to do his background check very well in addition to adding value to his life. But when he finally gets it right, it will be easy for him to sell the product. Even at that, most people will be concerned to know what inspired the person to develop the product and their trajectory in life, and that’s where foundation comes in.
Furthermore, if anyone wants to contest for an elective position, the electorate will be concerned about what their track record in leadership is, and emphasis will be placed on the relative professional experience that will make anyone vote for them. The same principle is applicable to anyone interested in furthering their education.
Let’s take another case study of anyone interested in earning a Ph.D. The student would have had a background in bachelor’s and master’s degrees, which is relative to the Ph.D. Failure to do this might pose a challenge to the admission process. When a student lacks the requisite educational training, they will be advised to get a post graduate diploma.
When it relates to friends, family and business associates, the ability to select the right people will set the right tone for success. For example, if you have a business, your ability to hire the right people who are more knowledgeable in addition to having expertise will be a great asset to your business. When you hire the wrong people, you are setting yourself up for failure.
It’s instructive to note that every family has a secret they are built on. Yes, every family has a secret which only the family knows. These family secrets serve as the nucleus and foundation upon which the family is built. A family built with a strong value system like prayer, love, patience, and respect stands stronger than families without a value system. That alone is a recipe for disaster in the society.
For married couples to work together, they must share similar values, interests, goals, values, religion, in addition to other related alignments to make the marriage work. Amidst all these interests, it’s instructive to note that what binds them together is more than what separates them. One may be wondering what that means. Well, one of the hallmarks that has sustained a good marriage/relationship is friendship. When two good friends marry, the union is literally blissful because what binds them together is more than what separates them. Imagine, where two friends dated for about three or five years, they would have understood each other very well, and that would be a strong basis for both to always look back on how they started when friction arises.
Every business has an ideology, value, mission and values they hold in high esteem. These ideologies serve as the foundation and inspiration for the business. In some cases, these foundations serve as the stories of why the organization or founding fathers established the organization. The same principle is applicable when it comes to picking a business partner. Both parties must share similar interests and alignments in the business.
Do you have a foundation? If yes, what is it? On a personal note, I am bold to tell anyone who cares to know, God is my foundation. I am very unapologetic about it. Most people believe in other powers, humans or even themselves, but that’s not me. My help comes from God who made the Heaven and earth. I can’t take the glory of God.
Sometimes, when I look at the trajectory of my life, and how far I have come in life, all I can say is glory be to God because I literally know my foundation, strength and limitations. To have reached this stage in life can be attributed to nothing else but God. Yes, I worked hard, I networked well with the right people in addition to being in the right places at the right times because of strategic relationships. I can go on and on, but I know there are people who have done hundred times more than me and yet can’t get the level of result I have produced overtime.
If not for the grace and mercy of God, I don’t know what I would say. For the sake of clarity let me share a few instances. I have been humbled to be interviewed by New York Times, interviewed at least three times on the television by News12, published two books with the third one in view, partnered with United Nations Development Programme in addition to having one of the best talented minds on earth to work with in my organization. I can go on and on. But as a sage will say, a word is enough for the wise.
What’s interesting about these achievements is that none is a result of human factors. They all happened in a way one will attribute the feat to God. So, why will I be ashamed of giving God the glory?
Some may not have the right foundation in life, but that is not a problem. Foundation can be learned. When you meet people or work in a certain environment, please pay attention to their values, lifestyle and more importantly the culture, and pick the right information.
In conclusion, as your journey through life, please note that foundations are critical in life. They can either mar or make you. So, please pay attention to the foundation you are laying down because at the end of the day, the way you make your bed is the way you will lie on it.
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