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Adding Value: Take Responsibility by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Apart from having the fear of God, one of the greatest desires any individual is a responsible life partner or spouse. In fact, a responsible partner transcends beyond ability to provide as there exists many, who can provide, are still irresponsible. Being responsible is priceless. Being responsible is a currency and goodwill which is not seen among cheap people.

While little girls in high schools are thrilled about the handsomeness of boys, and big ladies in colleges are attracted to the intelligence and financial capacity of guys, mature working ladies are more concerned about the security and loyalty of guys. This set of mature ladies are not concerned about the physical looks and financial capacity of guys. Though money and good looks are important, but they can’t be compared to loyalty and security. This is because a man may not have money, may not look great, and may not even be rich in intelligence, but when a lady sees him as responsible, with prospects, she might take him very seriously, and vice versa.

Asides character, irresponsibility is one thing that detaches a man from a lady. As a matter of fact, when a man senses a lady has been sexually exposed to a lot of men, withdrawal syndrome begins to set in, especially if he’s familiar with such men. Irresponsibility can be attributed to lack of good character or why will a responsible woman be messing around with several men.

One may wonder if this article is about the relationship between a man and a woman. The simple answer is no. The article is about life. I had to begin with human beings to x-ray the importance of living a responsible life. The truth is nobody likes to relate with an irresponsible person whether at work, church, family or events. An irresponsible person will have trust issues, fail in leadership, suffer from accountability issues, and will never be counted as reliable. If negative forces wish to deal with a person, they send an irresponsible people their way, and the individual’s life or work will be completely damaged.

As human beings, we are responsible for our life. It is what we sow that we reap. When we love, we are bound to reap love, when we sow hatred, it has a way of coming back to us. When we sow kindness, kindness will locate us in due time. When we sow hard work, it has a way of paying us back in the near future. When we help the less privileged, we accumulate the grace and mercy of God in the universe. When we invest in people, we tend to open doors, and like a magnet, attracts blessings, favours and opportunities our way.

The question we need to ask ourselves therefore, is what kind of life are we living? According to Socrates, “an unexamined life is not worth living”. Being able to take stock of one’s life is one of the best things that can happen to anyone. Just like a businessman takes inventory of his products, one must be intentional to live a life of purpose. Failure to do so is inviting Karma.

It’s instructive to note that taking responsibility involves a process. It is the foundation one lays that determines the kind of house they live in. For instance, if your tummy aches, what you ate yesterday is the likely the cause; if you are depressed, the culprit is the thought you meditated on the night before; if you are broke, it is usually because you mismanaged your money earlier; if you are overweight, it is because you over-ate in the past. Did you see that actions have consequences and it’s your responsibility to fix yourself with the right thoughts and actions.

The moral of the story is that your reality today is the consequence of your thoughts and actions of yesterday. And your future will reflect your thinking and deeds of today. It’s important to note that no demon is powerful enough to make you reap what you did not sow, neither is any demon more powerful than Karma. If you are in doubt, sow a seed today, and it will show tomorrow.

So, it is important for one to take responsibility for their lives. Nobody will fix you more than you can fix yourself; nobody can help you more than you can help yourself; nobody can save you more than you can save yourself; nobody can inspire you more than you can inspire yourself; and nobody can make you live a responsible life if you are not determined to be responsible.

It’s sad to see people who haven’t taken time to plan their lives, yet expect other people to fix them. Some people don’t invest in themselves by reading, researching, taking a class, course, learning a skill, traveling, investing in their businesses, relationship, network, volunteering in an association, and adding value to their lives. Sometimes, lazy minds lie idle waiting for the Lamb of God, who will take away their sins and burdens. These lazy minds fail to understand that everyone is dealing with a secret frustration.

In conclusion, decide today to take charge of your life, and see how life will unfold positively for you.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Remember and Acknowledge Your Source by Henry Ukazu

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Greetings Destiny Friends,

There’s always the urge to get certain things done as a living person. Most times, the urge transcends to impatience and desperation as the thirst for fame, power, wealth and success increases. This happens to the extent that the average human being either forgets or fails to take into consideration the process and most importantly, the foundation or origin of their inspiration.

It is worth noting that before anyone decides to go on a journey, several factors play a role; before anyone decides to study a course in college, he must have a sponsor assuming they don’t have the personal financial muscle; before anyone becomes a millionaire or billionaire, there’s always someone responsible for the opportunity; before one becomes a Chief Executive Officer of a company, he must have climbed through the ropes from internship either in the said company or another, and it’s also instructive to note that someone gave him the opportunity to showcase his charismatic work skills; before anyone decides to go into politics, different people play roles either in form of mentors or citizens. There’s always a significant source in the making of a the person. The list is endless.

Why is it necessary to highlight these significant points? The answer is quite simple; nobody achieves greatness on his or her own. Nobody is self made no matter what one may claim. Even God in his infinite knowledge used Virgin Mary to birth Jesus Christ. So, if the saviour of mankind can come in the form of man, why should anyone think he is self made?

It’s sad to see certain people think they have arrived either because they now have money, power, influence or attained a certain height. They begin to act like demi-gods, and sometimes, play God in the affairs of men. They fail to remember they were once nobody, and had nothing.

It’s always good for one to remember their source, and this is very important. Sometimes, when we see people doing great and big things in the world, we wonder what their secret or source is. While some people will be bold to acknowledge their source, others might be a little bit hesitant and decide to keep it as their best kept secret, especially when it involves trade and merchandise.

To know the secret of anyone, look at their lifestyle, some people attribute it to God, some to mentors, mentees, good food, exercise, academics, rest, parents or spiritual leaders. For me, I am unapologetic to state three things responsible for who I am today; the first is God. We live in a society where some people find it hard to acknowledge God publicly for reasons best known to them. I truly know I am not the smartest, strongest or most intelligent, but I can authoritatively tell you, I have seen and experienced the hand of God upon my life.

Another great source of mine is my late parents comprising my late grandmother, my late father and my late mother. They all played significant roles in my life with their prayers and blessings. I can say with all boldness, they are my biggest inspiration and reason I do what I do today. It’s sad to see young men and women who fail to recognize and appreciate their parents because they are either old, not academically exposed or for whatever reason best known to them. Well, I won’t judge anyone, but I do know that the earlier one receives the sense to appreciate their parents, no matter their shortcomings, the better the positive influence it would have in their lives.

Finally, my third major source of strength is the people I work with, especially my immediate team. Like I always say; I’m not just smart, I am only smart by association. I have a team of ingenious minds, who I am very loyal and committed to in any way I can. What attracts me to them is their mindset, attitude and most importantly their talent/gift. If I may add a fourth category, I will say my mentors, there are certain people I look up to based on their position, accomplishment, personality. I call this set of mentors my pinnacle mentors because of who they are, or what they represent. If you would like to know the role of mentors in my life, please read one of my most insightful articles Mentors Are Life Savers.

Let’s get this clear, anyone can be a source. It might not really be a man of substance. Your mentee, child, partner or employee can be your source. What’s important is for one to recognize their role. Like I stated earlier, my team who I work with are my third greatest source, and I strongly believe God is using them to lift me up.

One may be wondering why I took my time to address these salient points. The reason is not farfetched. It’s regrettable to see people who have attained certain heights, and they seem to forget their roots. Some even forget their source. Like accomplished journalist, Dr. Dele Momodu, would always quote his  late ‘unlettered mother’, who admonished him to “never forget the son of who you are”. That’s a very deep statement.

Acknowledging one’s source is very critical to one’s growth. It speaks volumes about one’s mindset and personality. Let’s take a case study where someone assisted you to become great, and ends up insulting or using sarcastic words on you. They may even be uncharitable to you. I get all these narratives, still acknowledge them.

Acknowledging one’s source can be ambiguous. As Christians, sometimes we pray to our creator, give up our daily bread. By doing so, we are remembering our source, but quite often sometimes when we eat this bread and become well fed, we tend to forget from whom it came, and in some cases, fail to give credit to whom it is due. This is the attitude of ungrateful minds.

I will conclude with a prayer thus; in our quest for greatness and search the material things of the world, may we not forget our source, who gave us opportunities when we were nothing. Can I hear you say amen!

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Continue to Grind by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

When one grinds, he is practically working or studying very hard, often in a repetitive way for a better future outcome. It can also be the act of hustling or striving for success, according to internet overview. This principle explains the phrase, ‘rise and grind’, which encourages individuals to wake up and work hard to achieve goals.

Having said that, please permit me to be a bit personal about my next exposition. It’s for an instructive reason.

As a Christian, and practicing catholic, I’m trained on the mysteries of the Holy Rosary. In one of the mysteries – Sorrowful mysteries, we have five other mysteries namely: The Agony in the garden, scourging at the pillar, crowning with thorns, carrying of the cross and death and crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

One may be wondering what the symbolic and relative nature of the above mysteries are. Well, the answer is quite clear; the mysteries of the sorrow mysteries symbolize the difficult terrain Jesus Christ must go through for the salvation of mankind. As a Christian, each time I meditate on the sad experience of Jesus Christ for the salvation of mankind, it makes me rethink about life, especially whenever I am tempted to sin against God.

As human beings, we also experience the same trajectory in our effort to succeed, and this entails the act of ‘grinding’. Life never promises to be easy, and it will never be easy. As a matter of fact, the higher one goes, the tougher the hurdle.

It is an undisputable fact that nothing good comes easy. Whether you have an interest in running a business, raising a decent family, earning a degree, or improving on your personal development, one must grind, and this entails exploring all legitimate means. Sometimes, life does not give you what you want, but it will surely give you what you deserve.

So, when you grind, and life doesn’t give you what you desire, don’t give up, continue to grind. The mistake most people make is giving up quite early when the odds seem to be against you. Sometimes, when you don’t get what you want, there might be several reasons. It might be a case of one not being prepared or competent for such a position. It can also be a case where the universe has something different for you which one might not see in the immediate sense.

Again, when one doesn’t get what they desire, it is not because they don’t have the capacity, or competency, it might be a case of the timing not being right. On a personal note, I have applied for job opportunities and was rejected; I have tried to meet with resourceful people, but access was denied; I have written hundreds of articles, but only a few went viral. The stories are many, but one thing is certain; I learnt a lot from those experiences.

In your grinding, you might think nobody is watching or noticing your efforts, trust me, your efforts and work are seen. In due time, the work will be rewarded. I can testify to this statement because over time, I have been in the wilderness tilling the ground to make an impact. I am surprised to get award nominations in addition to being an award recipient on several occasions.

In some other cases, I get recommendations on the streets from people who see my work. One of the major challenges may be having the right person to spot your work. One may be wondering how it works. Let’s take the case of a man, who is trying to woo a lady. The lady in question knows what she wants in a man or the qualities and values. So, when you approach a lady, and she says no, what a rational mind will do is to explore other options that appear to be beneficial to both parties, and who knows in the long run, she might give consent.

Grinding can mean a thousand and one things depending on which aisle one is resting on. According to a notable ghost writer, Dr. Yomi Garnett, “The best pictures of you are yet to be taken. The best stories about you are yet to be told. The best of your years still lies ahead. So, affirm to yourself today: The good days are here, but the best is yet to come.”

So, while waiting for the best pictures, stories, and years ahead, continue to put in the work of learning, exploring opportunities, having faith in the creator and universe, and continue to grind. By so doing, the right opportunities will be attracted to you when the timing and the universe feel it’s for you.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: The Principles of Seed Time and Harvest Time by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

The importance of timing cannot be overemphasized. Timing is everything in life. It is critical to one’s success. You can lose your money and get it back in many folds. You can even lose your health and get it back all things being equal, but when you lose time, you can hardly get it back again.

The importance of timing can be seen in crops. Every crop has a season, a good farmer won’t plant maize when it’s time for oranges, nor will he plant pears when it’s the season for mangoes.

Time is very instrumental to the success and failure of anyone. Imagine having a meeting or interview at 9:00am and you arrive at 10:10am, it will take the grace of God to be interviewed. As an employee, apart from one not being able to diligently do his job, one of the fastest ways for an employee to lose his job is by being late to work.

When I was in New York Law School studying Taxation law, I did a course titled, the Problem of Timing. During the semester, I learnt about cash and accrued income. Let me do some academic exercise here. In cash income, just like the name entails, one is paid in cash as soon as the work is completed. It’s just like going to the market to make a purchase. One can either pay directly with cash or with debit or credit card. But Accrued income refers to revenue a company has earned by providing goods or services, but for which payment has not yet been received, one will have to do the work first before getting paid. This is applicable when one works in either a public or private organization where one is paid either weekly, bi-weekly or at the end of the month depending on the stipulated mode of payment.

It’s important to note that before the money is paid either in cash or accrued, one would have earned it. It’s just like one learning g before earning, and one will have to update to upgrade. These are just the practical principles that will work with life.

In the same way, in life there’s a seed time and harvest time. It’s a universal principle of life. Whether as a parent, entrepreneur, student or employee. As a parent, if you don’t train your kids very well, they will grow up to reflect the opposite of what you desire. As an entrepreneur when you invest in your business, you will get the reward in due time. As a student, if you take your studies seriously, your grades will improve, and as an employee, you stand to get promotions and opportunities when you add value to your work. In summary, one will have to put in the work before recognition comes on.

To understand how seedtime and harvest work, imagine where parents tend to like one child more than others just because they see potential in him, or he’s smart, hardworking or even creative. They fail to understand that every child is different and as such their timing can be different. Some kinds take time to develop.

I personally believe there’s something so unique about each individual which God has deposited in everyone of us. It’s just a matter of time for it to manifest. Your timing of manifestation is different from your siblings and colleagues.

Personally, I didn’t mature fast with my contemporaries. Overtime, I have seen much improvement in my personal and professional life. Maybe because I have added value to my work with the assistance of mentors and good friends, or God had to humble my colleagues and mentors . Why do I say this? During my formative years, I had little or nothing to show for it. I was looking at my contemporaries as mentor and seeing my mentors as small gods whose feat is unattainable, but now, the reverse seems to be case as I have developed capacity some of my colleagues are yet to attain, while I have even surpassed the achievement of my some of my mentors in some quarters.

In all these, they are all surprised how it happened. Some are yet to comprehend or articulate the feat. It’s just like watching a film where everyone slept and woke up to see the game and tides have changed. The secret behind it is the seed time and harvest time. I was probably learning the trade while in the wilderness, and when the training season matured and ripe enough to be harvested, I became attractive to almost everyone who loved the seed I was producing.

There are litany of examples of people, who have been in the wilderness during the seed planting season. Let’s take a case study of Joseph in the Bible, his journey to stardom took a little twist. Despite the travails he experienced in the hands of his siblings who sold him, his experience while in the jail, and with Portiphar’s wife, who tried to seduce him; they were all set ups for success. The moral here is Joseph seed time and harvest time was quite different, it wasn’t a smooth journey. Ordinarily, one would have cursed his siblings or his friends who were with him in prison and forgot him after they were released. But at the end of time, everything worked out for his favor.  Joseph’s seed days were his dark days while in the wilderness.

Another inspiring story of note was that of Pastor Ibukun Awosika, the former board Chairman of First Bank of Nigeria. She once shared a pathetic story during her formative years of being in business. According to her, she sojourned for about 15 years. She cried because lines were not adding up for her and she wouldn’t do what her contemporaries were doing to get opportunities. At a point in her business, it appeared like she was in a race of own life because everything seemed to be against her, but at the appropriate time, lines began to fall in place for her. Appointments, business opportunities, favours and goodwill began to fall in place for her. Again, she had a fair share of seed time.

An interesting question I would like to ask you is, what’s your seed time? Have you ever been in the wilderness when you appeared to be fixed? It’s unfortunate many people are not willing to pass through the storms or experience seeds and harvest time. Amidst all these, one must do some work before they get opportunities. However, before such opportunities will come up, one will have to plant the seed.

In conclusion, seed time and harvest time is critical in the journey of life. Take a seat and determine what seed you would like to sow and what you’ll like to harvest.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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