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Adding Value: Living Above the Challenges of Life by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Challenges are regular occurrences in human existence, and so it is commonplace for them to be experienced in the cause of day to day activities. A living being is therefore licensed to encounter one form of challenge or another. Of a truth, challenges come in different shapes and sizes. It can be big. It can be small. It can come in the guise of losing a loved one, having setbacks in business, relationship/marriage, academic, or professional endeavours. However, what is important is one’s ability to handle the challenge. It is imperative to note that inability to handle or manage a challenge can lead to overwhelming disaster in an individual’s personal, romantic or professional life.

Challenges mean different things to different people. Sometimes when uninformed minds experience challenges, they feel there is a force behind them. They fail to understand that nature may have a hand in it. There’s no doubt a force might be a reason someone might experience challenges, in that case, you need to sit down and evaluate what’s happening to you or if there’s something you are not doing well.  For instance, if the law of Karma is at play, you are bound to face the music of life. It might take a little bit of time, but at the end of the day, you will dance to the music you once played.

However, great minds who think out of the box know that these challenges are preludes to greater heights, and as such, must be tested in the process of weathering the storm.

That said, the biggest challenge we can face as human beings is ourselves. Nobody can challenge you to be a better person than yourself. I strongly believe that one of the biggest challenges of life is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you be like everyone else.  As human beings, there are so many things seeking our attention, some can be a distraction. Your ability to navigate these challenges can be the defining factor of your life.

It is important to note that the bigger the challenge, the bigger the opportunity for growth. Imagine contesting for the President of a country, what kind of challenges do you think you will face? Imagine winning the election, and the kind of opportunity and social capital that comes with it. It is strongly advisable to challenge yourself every day to do better than yesterday. It is the best form of challenge and competition you’ll ever face as a human being.

Let’s discuss some of the challenges we face as human beings.

Family:

The biggest challenge anyone can face in life is in the family. Whether you live in a nuclear or extended family, you are bound to experience challenges. Every family has a secret and every family plays what I call internal politics just like the church.  In fact, according to some schools of thought, the highest politics is played in the family and in the church. Nobody knows you more than your family, that’s why when your family supports you, you already have fifty percent of the foundation you need to succeed in life. But when your family is against you, even your benefactors will distance themselves from you. Any way you look at it, the moral support of family is endearing and soothing to the heart.

Speaking on family, it’s only your family that knows most of the intricate secrets of your life, that’s why in politics, most people try to check out your background, your family, etc. to get information which they might use against you.

Setbacks:

Setbacks come in various forms. It can be in your business, loss of a loved one, failing an examination, or even health challenges. All these challenges either make you strong or make you learn. A good way of handling setbacks and the corresponding challenges is by having a positive attitude towards life, by this I mean, as you journey towards life always prepare for the best while expecting the best. If you have this mindset, you’ll be better poised to accept any negative challenges that come to you in good faith.

Relationship/Marriage: This is where the true test of a human being is displayed especially in marriage. In a relationship, you are merely courting to know someone to see if both of you are compatible enough to marry. In a relationship, each party can hide their real personality and character, but in marriage, there’s a limit to what you can hide. That’s why one of the best ways to succeed in marriage is to be vulnerable to your partner. Every relationship/marriage must be tested in one way or the other, but the prayer of every progressive relationship/marriage is to be strong enough to overcome any challenge that may rear its ugly head. Challenges such as financial, communication, sex, expectations, infidelity, conflicts, abuse, etc. will surely come in one way or the other.

Let’s take the case study of communication. Do you know the majority of the challenges couples face that lead to divorce is because of communication problems? There’s nothing that can’t be solved if the parties are intentional and deliberate in talking about it. It is the inability of partners to understand each other by resolving the conflicts amicably that results in divorce. For instance, when people have a misunderstanding the right use of words like am sorry, please, thank you, etc. can go a long way to solve the problem. How does this play out? There can be no problem, there’s a problem and there can be problems when there’s no problem. This is because when two people have a misunderstanding over a big issue, how they will handle it will appear insignificant, but if it’s a small problem, how they will handle it can escalate it to a bigger problem.

In conclusion, as you journey towards life, always have the attitude of preparing for the best while expecting the worst. By so doing, you will be able to overcome any challenge with a positive mindset.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Attracting Opportunities by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Happy New Year and compliments of the season!

It’s always a thing of joy to see a new day, new week, new month, new year, new decade, and a new century. The occasion really calls for celebration. At the beginning of each year, we all desire to have new blessings, new opportunities, new successes, new health and more. The big question we need to ask ourselves is how one can we attract these opportunities, and blessings attached.

I will try to be practical in my thoughts and opinions. To attract blessings into one’s life is not difficult, in fact, it is one of the easiest things to do. This is because it costs less to be healthy, and it costs more to be unhealthy. It sounds confusing right? Okay, let me explain a little, to stay healthy, one can take fruits, exercise, do a yearly checkup, sleep, meditate, think positive amidst other activities. Literally looking at it, it might appear expensive and hard to accomplish but imagine the cost it will take to visit the hospital to undergo a medical procedure just because you neglected your health.

It’s instructive to note that the human body system doesn’t ordinarily break down, it takes a little bit of process which accumulates. Imagine if one has taken time to do exercise, eat healthy, and rest, most of the illnesses we suffer will drastically reduce.

So, as already stated, to attract opportunities and blessings into one’s life is not difficult; it’s just a matter of attitude. Like I always say, you’ll get what you want faster when you help other people to achieve what they want. To attract these opportunities is not rocket science, all we need to do is to apply the right attitude.

We are just three days into the year 2025, many of us have made resolutions of what we will do and what we will stop to be productive. Do you know the fastest way to attract blessings into your life is to have a good attitude? Attitude is a currency. Net worth is a currency. Relationship is a currency. Impact is a currency. For one to tap into these currencies one needs to have a good attitude. It’s your attitude that will make people to either like or despise you.

If you don’t have a good attitude, you won’t attract the opportunity that will bless you. Let me share a little secret that has worked for me over the years. I am a very intentional person. Most times, I pay it forward without knowing. I have since discovered that when one pays it forward by helping someone in need, the blessings are usually humongous. For instance, sometimes, just because I want someone to utter a form of prayer or goodwill like it will be well with you; God bless you, you will not lack; may God provide for you and your family, I will intentionally give them money or a kind of support.

Sometimes, I may make a purchase and decide to tell the seller to keep the change if I see the seller is struggling or it will put smiles on the face of the person. This is a skill I have mastered over time. It’s not really easy I must say, but it has over time, worked for me.

So, to attract the blessings of 2025 and beyond, consider offering yourself as a life of service to people in need. Don’t do it with a vested interest. There are many people in need in our society. Find time to see how you can support people financially, academically, spiritually, emotionally and otherwise. Trust me, if you can carry out this assignment diligently, the opportunities and blessings that will come upon you will have a ripple effect.

Again, to attract opportunities and blessings into your life, consider having a mentor with a positive influence, connect with successful people, attend workshops, read voraciously, especially on areas of interest so you can gain expertise, and acquire general knowledge; practice gratitude by showing appreciation and kindness, and most importantly, pray and acknowledge the role of  God as a higher power, depending on the faith and belief you practice.

In conclusion, life is generally about you, but not necessarily about you, it’s also about others. When you focus on yourself, your rewards might be less compared to when you focus on others. So, consider having a disposition of love, genuine affection, kindness, support and appreciation mixed with gratitude, and see how life will smile at you. Trust me, the universe will conspire to support you.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value: Principles Govern Life by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

It’s an indisputable fact that life is governed by many principles, of which their successful understanding and application can set one apart from their contemporaries.

Various principles work for various people depending on organization, business, profession and even personal. Therefore, for one to get something from another, they must know the principles they have adopted.

Principles work like magic. According to Bishop David Oyedepo, “When you read, tap from the principles used in the book you have read. To fly on eagles wing, you must tap on the principles on the eagle. You will have to get on his back and spread out the way he spreads his wings, so as to fly the way he flies. That is why you need to follow the principles of the writer of any book you have read so as to get the results the writer has gotten.”

The significance of this post is that whenever you read a book, work in a company or government, there are certain laid down rules, procedures, or principles which guides the establishment, and one is expected to follow them to the later. Failure to do so will warrant sanctions.

Let me share a practical example with you; a couple of months ago, I attended an event and met a highly successful man who can be called a billionaire. While a lot of people were trying to get his attention, I was seeking for a unique way to approach him, I quickly surfed the internet and discovered he’s an author. With that information, I approached him and introduced myself to him. I began by telling him I was inspired by his work, especially his books. He began to show interest in my conversation. I also told him I am an author with a legal background. He was happy to hear that because he’s also a lawyer, in addition to being an author and entrepreneur. I told him, I would like to have a meeting with him for a minute. He gave me his number and said, let’s keep in touch. What he told me was everything I needed to penetrate.

I followed up with an email and read his book. What’s the moral of this story, I learnt what works for him by speaking his language, especially reading his book to know how the principles that work for me.  I followed up with him via email on summary of the principles in his book and his interviews and his response was positive. I didn’t stop here. I nominated him to receive the Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award and reached out to him to know if he will be available to receive the award. Again, he responded positively. Guess what, when we met at the event, he told me a White House staff reached out to him saying Trump administration is looking for Black person to work in his administration and as such if he knows of any Black person that would like to work in the White House for President Trump.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting, I didn’t show desperation to work in the White House because I didn’t know details of the positions they are looking to fill, and also the location of the jobs. In a week time, this man invited me to the Bahamas for a family end of the year gathering where only close friends and associates will be present. That to me was huge. Even though I couldn’t attend because I already had plans to be out of the country as the said time, I was glad an opportunity of recognition was accorded to me by a billionaire.

One may be wondering what’s the significance of this story. Well, the moral is that one will have to take the extra effort to know what works for any person in order to work with the person or receive any favor. If I have not taken the opportunity to do some research about this man to discover the guiding principles and ideologies that work for him, trust me I doubt if he would have accorded me that level of respect and recognition, in addition to taking me very seriously.

This principle is applicable to everyone. Whether you are married, in a relationship, in business, seeking financial support for a business, writing a proposal, or working with anyone, your ability to apply this principle will usher you into a new reign. Even if you want to get something from a little child, one must condescend to their level to work with them.

It’s instructive to note that there’s no problem without a solution. The only problem without a solution is the problem the person with the right solution hasn’t appeared. Isn’t it true that when the student is ready the master appears.

As a human capacity development expert, I have discovered that everyone is literally different because as dynamic human beings, we are all unique. This is because what works for Mr. A might not work for Mr. B, and so, your ability to know what works for each individual will go a long way to achieving your desires.

Jus to put this into perspective, every living being has a temperament which can be sanguine, melancholy, choleric and phlegmatic. Again, while some people are introvert, some are extrovert. As a rational being, your ability to use discernment to decipher what works for each individual will go a long way to enable you work with them.

In conclusion, if you would like to get anything done, endeavour to do some background research to know the guiding principles of that person or organization. You can do a S.W.A.T analysis to discover their strengths, weakness, action and time. This will enable you to know how to approach them. You can also do online research on social media to know if they have any book to their name, any speech, any song, or any article they have written just to get an idea of how their mindset works. It might not generally give you a full picture of who they are because they might be engaging in a professional capacity, but at least it will give you an insight into their objective being.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value: The Doctrine of Acceptance by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

I will not grieve for what does not come, because what does not come may prevent disaster from coming – Dr. Yomi Garnett

Compliments of the season. It’s that time of the year when everyone takes stock of their life in terms of personal, professional, financial and other areas of interest.

I strongly believe, an unexamined life is not worth living. As progressive minds, it’s important to examine how one has fared. This will help in preparing for the next chapter of living, especially as it relates to improving on mistakes and strategically working to accomplish great tasks.

Today, I chose to write on a personal topic of interest. This topic is so personal to me that I believe someone will learn from it. And for those wondering what the wisdom of acceptance is, it is implies that, ‘I will not grieve for what does not come, because what does not come may prevent disaster from coming’. Yes, this is so true because sometimes during the course of life, we may have made mistakes, experienced setbacks and encountered disappointments. It is normal for one to feel bad about the outcome, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s working for a destined plan or purpose which one may not see in the immediate sense.

I decided to write about the doctrine of acceptance because of an incident that happened to me a week ago. Please adjust your seat to read this touching story.

I was recently nominated to receive the United States Presidential Achievement Award by an organization affiliated to the White House which has authority to give qualified candidates who have seemingly achieved a considerable amount of pro bono work in a particular industry.

The eligibility requirement for this award is rigorous. I will share a few examples, one must have done more than four thousand hours of pro bono work in a particular industry, a candidate for this award must not be a sex offender in the US sex registry, the candidate must have a registered US company amongst others.

When I got the nomination, I was really humbled and honored to say the least. I was excited to know my work has received some attention in the right quarters. In all honesty, I didn’t know how big it was until a dear friend spoke some sense into me. In anticipation of the event, I prepared my business profile, executive profile, and submitted a professional headshot.

We were advised to come in a day earlier to settle down because the grand finale will end with a dinner because some people will receive honorary doctorate degree award, and some will receive Honorary Citizen Award from the State of Georgia. So, as you can see, it was a packed two days event where several people from across the country will converge for a life-changing event. Needless to talk about how important the networking session will look like.

On the day I was supposed to travel, I was two minutes late at the airport and as such, I missed my flight. I quickly booked the next available flight for the same day. I was glad to make it even though it was quite late.

The event began during the day with a ceremony for the honorary doctorate degrees. I was humbled to give a presentation to the deserving students.

I charged the students to impact the world with their degrees by making success in their life. I stated, it is not enough for them to have a degree, what’s important is what you do with it. I informed them they have all the tools, resources and knowledge to make an impact. I concluded by telling them it is not enough for them to have a degree, they must do something new, and something different. And if they are unable to develop themselves and humanity by making an impact with the degrees the Honorary degree is as good as useless.

After the event, I was so tired that I decided to take a short nap in preparation of the main dinner where the Presidential Award will be presented. Guess what, by the time I woke up from my short nap, the event was over. I almost had a heart attack when I looked at my watch. I was like, how did this happen? I saw many missed calls on my phone. The sad part was that the organizers informed me that most of the guests were looking for me. They were impressed with what they have read and watched about me.

While I was reflecting on what happened to me, I called one of my most revered mentors. I call him the mentor of all mentors; Dr. Yomi Garnett, an accomplished and sophisticated ghost writer. I vividly narrated what had just happened. He sympathized with me, took a deep breath and said, “Henry, I will share with you a profound lesson of history you won’t forget in a haste”. He started by telling me, I shouldn’t grieve too much because everything that happens in our life happens for a reason whether we like it or not. He said, what happened to me is a mystery and only God knows.

According to him, if God wanted to wake me up, I would have woken up. He asked me a question; do you control what happens when you sleep? I said no.  He stated, in every situation let’s give God the glory because one may not know what may have happened if our desires or plans came through. He advised me to accept my fate as God’s master plan. As a matter of fact, he told me to laugh about it and start praising God for what has happened and from the disaster that would have befallen me.  It was at this moment he informed me about the wisdom of acceptance which is also known as doctrine of acceptance.

While I tried to explain to him, it’s all my fault because I slept off due to being tired during the ceremony. He responded that God made me tired so I can get a decent sleep. He stated who knows what would have happened on my way to the event or after the event. Who knows who I would have met that would have loved to do business with me in the near future and that journey would have either ended my life or hurt me in a terrible way.

He went on to explain a personal story he witnessed in 2013 where his driver was supposed to drive his friend for a 250 million contract in Abuja, Nigeria, but for some funny reasons his driver got drunk and slept off and by the time he woke up, he was quite late.

By the time they got to the airport, the plane was already departing. He felt bad, but managed to control his temper because he couldn’t change the situation and so he had to find a way to manage his attitude. He concluded the story by stating, may “God not allow us to see disaster”.

Guess what, his friend called him 30 minutes later to tell him the plane he missed had just crashed with nobody alive. He thanked my mentor and his driver for the delay which saved his life. It was at this moment my mentor stated, “don’t grieve for what didn’t happen, because what didn’t happen prevented disaster from happening”.

Furthermore, I tried to tell my mentor the people who were expecting to meet with me. He took a deep breath and said, Man is nothing before God. He said, I don’t need anybody to be successful, except God. He stated, reverencing God is bigger than shaking hands with billionaires. He said, what will be will be. According to him, nothing is of any real importance, it’s only our thinking that makes it so.

He reminded me about the story of Job in the Bible and how he lost everything, and how God blessed him in hundreds of folds at the appropriate time. He acknowledged the role of human beings as vessels for God’s blessing, and added that if God wants to bless me, he will bless me with or without human beings. His main point was that, I should desist from thinking more of man as the cornerstone to my blessings, instead to focus on God, and he will in turn use men without them knowing, to bless me.

My mentor said, ‘Henry, let me shock you, do you know there is a call you’ll receive now, and you will immediately forget what has happened? I said yes, he concluded by saying, may God not allow us to see disaster advised me again to laugh about what happened, and start thanking God.

After listening to him for 30 minutes, I became stronger, and started praising and worshiping God.

What’s the moral of this doctrine, sometimes in life, we experience setbacks, failures, disappointments and misfortunes. While we may feel bad about it, blame ourselves or attribute it to other causes, it may be a blessing in disguise which we may not know in the immediate sense.

In conclusion, I charge you to have an open outlook to life, and do all in your capacity to achieve your objectives, but don’t be hard on yourself if the inadvertent happens whether directly or indirectly due to life vicissitudes.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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