Adding Value
Adding Value: Kindness As Gateway to Unlocking Opportunities By Henry Ukazu
Greetings Destiny Friends,
It is always a thing of joy when we receive gifts or acts of love. The feeling is surreal. According to Gary Chapman in his book, “The Five Love Languages”, there are five love languages, namely: words affirmation, gift, services, time, and physical touch. When a rational man is able to understand and apply these techniques which I call principles, he will literally get any lady of his choice, all things being equal.
Permit me to speak a little about ladies.
It’s is an undisputable fact ladies love gifts and money. One of the gateways to a lady’s heart is by giving her a gift. Most men use gifts to show their love and affection to ladies. Of course, men are wired to give. While men are said to be givers, ladies are receivers. If a man truly loves and cares for for a lady, he must give. If he’s not giving to one (you), he’s definitely giving to somebody else.
Giving does not have to be thousands, millions or billions. What is important is the heart behind the giving. As a student of kindness, I realized early in life that the gateway to attracting blessings and opportunities from a king is giving them gifts. Poverty-stricken minds with fixed mindsets always have the mentality that there’s literally no need to give the rich or wealthy people. They fail to understand that giving is a mindset. You must not literally give money to show someone you literally love or appreciate them, but you can show them kindness by the little things you do. If you truly want to know someone who truly cares for you, look at how they invest their time to support or appreciate you. In our contemporary society, kindness is underrated, while money is overrated. People with a poverty mindset always revere people who give them money more than people who offer them advice; they fail to understand there are some advice money cannot buy.
If you want to know who truly cares for you, look at the opportunities they expose you to and not the money they give you. Poverty-stricken minds always like people who give money, but people with growth and appreciative mindset appreciate people who teach them how to make money. Don’t get me wrong. However, while money is gold, kindness is golden. Do you know that there are things money can’t buy? Money can buy laughter, but it can’t buy peace of mind; money can buy intelligence, but it can’t buy wisdom and understanding; money can buy gifts, but it can’t buy kindness. Money can’t buy integrity, dignity, and loyalty.
When people affirm your network determines your net worth and your net worth determines your network, I tend to have a different interpretation and perspective to it. This is because there are people in your life who might not have the money to show you how they appreciate you, but if you are able to think out of the box, you will realize that what they are giving you is priceless. It’s literally worth more than what money can buy. It’s just like having a loyal friend who can stand with you no matter how rough the journey or life has been.
On a personal note, I have been a recipient of the most favored human being on planet earth, on my 37th birthday celebration, I was blessed to have a compilation of my quotes which my esteemed mentee Mr. Sulyman Sodeeq Abdulakeem turned into a mini-book. But the most heartwarming blessing was when he compiled some of my insightful and thought-provoking articles into a formidable book that will be released soon. I was literally in tears when I got the gift. I had to ask myself who am I to receive such a blessing. My pensive mood was activated. In reality, I’m yet to find words to say how grateful I am to him. The only thought that comes to my mind is that the kindness I have shown to humanity is what I received back on a different fold.
You may be wondering why I am sharing this information. The reason is quite simple; goodness, love and most importantly kindness has a way of locating you when you don’t expect it. When you have an opportunity to show love, kindness, or do good to anyone, please do it. Don’t bother about if the person appreciates it or not; it’s not between you and them, it’s between you and God. Humanity has a way of paying you back. According to one of my mentors, Yomi Garnett, a renowned Ghost Writer, “Do all the good you can by all the means you can, in all ways you can, in every place you can, at all the times you can, to everyone you can, as long as you can”. He further stated, count that day in which you have not done something good for another person as lost. The moral lesson inherent here is that when you do good for people genuinely without an expectation, it has a way of coming back to you in form of good health, longevity, blessings, favors for your children, spouse, appointments, opportunities, etc. You might even begin to wonder why you deserve the goodness? Kindness is like the law of Karma; it always has a way of paying you back in the manner you dished it out.
If you truly want to show someone you care for them, you must give. Giving in this context can mean time or material things. It’s quite unfortunate many people find it hard to give. They fail to understand that there is a blessing in giving. Isn’t it true that the giver’s hand is always on top? For instance, if you want to attract blessings from your parents, give them money or gifts.
The blessings of giving cannot be overemphasized. We are currently in the season of Valentine when lovers show their affection to one another. If I may ask you, what are you doing to show love to those around you? For me and my company, Gloemi, we have decided to offer a one-day training on Mindset for 20 progressive minds who are desirous of scaling their personal and professional lives. This training will focus on self-discovery, we’ll also talk about fixed mindset, poverty mindset, and growth mindset and how it can attract opportunities for your business. There will be opportunities for people to answer questions. To participate in this webinar, you have to follow us on social media via Gloemi and explain why you will like to attend.
kindness is not hard; it is soft, people will generally resonate with you when you are kind and generous. There was a recent story about how a Nigerian philanthropist, Obi Iyiegbu, took interest in a young man, Ekuma Jeremiah (a hawker), who was caught on camera in the Ajah area of Lagos, Nigeria, giving money to persons who were being transported to prison in a Nigerian Correctional Service van. It’s worthy to state that this young man was already poor, but he still has the heart of helping poor people. If you don’t know what kindness is, this is a typical example of selfless love.
In conclusion, as you journey through life, always find ways to give, no matter how little it is. It might be hard to give, but trust me, the blessings are priceless. There’s always joy when you give with love. If you can’t give money, gift or time, give words. Just give something.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Adding Value
Adding Value: Tribute: Celebrating My Mentors
By Abdulakeem Sodeeq Sulyman
Waiters believe the right time will come for them to start working on their dreams; but achievers believe in the opportunities every time – positive or negative – posed to them to actualize their dreams” – Abdulakeem Sodeeq Sulyman
Today is one of the most important days of my life because in a few hours, I will be officially admitted into the league of the recipients of the Presidential Lifetime Award. Being a recipient of the prestigious award is, to me, as a devoted Christian, is nothing short of the grace of the Most High God, who has been my ultimate guardian and pillar of support and encouragement. I will alway glorify His holy name!
But beyond that, I wouldn’t have attained this peak of greatness without the influence of my parents, family members, friends, mentors, acquaintances and most importantly, my doubters. Your respective roles in nurturing me for the greatness I was destined to achieve really shaped my life’s trajectory by instilling the right values in me and energizing me in pursuing my aspirations and dreams.
To start with the order of the people I mentioned earlier, I owe everything I become in life to my parents because they were the embodiments of my standards. I cannot thank my parents enough for their sacrifices for me and my brothers and sisters. My parents’ guidance and support were indelible! Comparing my humble backgrounds with where I am today deepens my affections and admiration for my parents. Their teachings and conduct affirmed the old-time principle that “In the race of life, you need to start from somewhere in order to get to where you want to be.”
I think I would be an ingrate if I failed to acknowledge the roles of family members on my upbringing because these are people who went outside their comfort zones to make life bearable for us – my brothers, sisters and me – when the time was tough. Our family members stood by us during the time life posed the daunting challenges of coping with our father’s and mother’s demises. Today is one of the days yourDear Destiny Friends, respective deeds will affirm to you that the greatest investment in life is the one made on humanity.
Also significant to my greatness are the roles of my friends. Overtime, I have lost direction in life and made damning mistakes – like all other humans. However, I also have the rare opportunity of getting my life back on track because I am surrounded by friends who know that I have purposes to accomplish, believe in me and support me to birth my purposes. During the course of my life, I have been privileged to meet and connect with wonderful people, who all proven to me that I am bound to change the course of humanity if I don’t give up on myself.
At every point in our life, we are bound to come across people who will make us better and prepare us for the nitty-gritty of the possibilities we are meant to create with our lives. These people, without being equivocal, are our mentors. In my own life, I owe these people more than the world because of the roles they played in grooming me for the world that mirrors the purposes God wants to fulfill. My mentors, at every corner of the world, gave birth to the Henry Ukazu you all know today.
Since I was mentored by some people to become the version of myself, what would be my contributions towards sustaining the chain of mentorship? Answering this question birthed in me the necessity of being a guiding light to the people our paths crossed. Consciously or unconsciously, I have gained more from the people who believed they have much to learn from me. You may be tempted to ask how I gained from my prospective learners. I gained from them because I know that their commitment to learn from me places more responsibility on me to learn more, so that I will not disappoint them.
No man ever attained the peak of his aspirations by compliments alone. To do great things, you must be talked out of the way by doubters or challengers. But if you don’t let their words or deeds deter you, you will eventually prove them wrong! It is normal for people to write you off; it is normal for people to take advantage of you and it is normal to feel you don’t have anything to offer. I don’t know what your story is, but all I can say is appreciate the trials, challenges and disappointments that come with achieving greatness.
This was exactly my storyline. I cannot count the number of times I was discouraged from doing what I believed. But because I know I am working on purpose, my energy is always refilled anytime I am told something cannot be done by me. This principle is highly working for my turnarounds. If you want me to break boundaries, tell me I can’t. Your doubts will challenge me to see possibilities and make them happen.
That has been the secret of my leadership as I learned from Peter Drucker, the famous management expert, that “Leadership is lifting a person’s vision to higher sights, the raising of a person’s performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations.” I am here today because I saw beyond the place of my birth and didn’t allow any obstacle to limit me.
Thank you all for being parts of my success!
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Adding Value
Adding Value: The Blessings of Giving by Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
As human beings, life offers us several blessings. The blessings can be spiritual, physical, financial, academic, marital, vocational, professional, and even personal which can be attributed to grace.
Just like one man’s food is another man’s poison, blessings mean several things to different people. Some of us desire the blessings of parents which I humbly think is the highest form of blessings apart from the blessings of God. While someone might be praying and wishing for the blessing of a life partner, some other persons are praying for the blessings of the fruit of the womb, destiny helpers or even dream job.
When we talk of giving, it’s not limited to financial blessings. It’s only myopic minds who judge or see people who give money as good people. We should desist from the mindset of seeing people who give money as good people. Some great minds might give you their time to mentor you, train you, or give you opportunities that will shape your life.
Giving shows where our heart and love resides. Different things appeal to different people. Your goal is to know what works for the person. Your ability to pay attention is critical to knowing someone. For instance, when you listen to how people spend their time and money, you will know how their mind works. The truth about life is that one can love without giving. If anyone is not giving you, he is giving to someone or to another cause.
Do you know what makes one happy? Yes, it can help to battle depression. Some people derive satisfaction when they give. Do you know that giving can be contagious? Yes, this principle is applicable when one pays it forward.When people experience a generous kindness, they are more apt to treat others with the same sort of benevolence.
When it comes to giving, what’s important is the motive or intention. There are several reasons why most people give money, some give money for charitable purpose, some give because the law of God admonishes us to give, some give just to encourage employees or to inspire people, some give because they have the feeling or mindset the person they give might give them tomorrow or the children of the receiver will reciprocate in the nearest future, or because they want to sow presence so that their benefactor can notice them. Some people even give because it gives them joy, and this is where I belong. As a matter of fact, one of my weak points is that I can be too kind to a fault. The list is literally endless.
Giving is relative. Some people might give their money, some give their time which can be priceless, some might give loyalty, others might give expertise on a subject matter. What is important is to know the value of the blessings you are receiving because in the grand scheme of things, none is more important than the other, it all depends on the needs at the said time. For instance, if someone is hungry, the best gift you can give the person is food or money to buy food. The person might not necessarily need words of consolation, neither does he need academic tutor nor spiritual teachings.
According to Dr. Yomi Garnet, a celebrated author, “one thing is certain in life, there are hidden blessings that come when one gives genuinely. It’s sad to note that we live in a world where some people find it hard to give.
In practical terms, prosperity is probably in two forms: There is survival prosperity, and there is Abrahamovic abundance. The way to proceed from the first to the second simply to become a channel of blessings for others. We do this by doing three things.: Giving to the kingdom of God, giving to the poor within His Kingdom; giving to the poor outside his kingdom.
The blessing of giving is priceless. Do you know the givers hand is always on top. I have always counseled my friends who complain when they give to put themselves in the position of the person receiving. Be happy you are in the position to give as opposed to receive. I don’t really think people love to beg even though some people have little or no shame when it comes to begging.
When it comes to giving and receiving, what’s important is to focus on the needs or desires of the giver in order to receive. For instance, if you want to receive funds from a fortune 500 company, when you are working on your proposal, it must align to their needs or interest. Several things motivate several people, so your ability to know what works for each person might be the icing on a cake.
It’s just like an employee who is looking to work in a multinational national company or any great company of interest, what the hiring managers might be concerned is to know how the employee is a perfect for the position, and this might entail looking at the skills, qualifications or interest which the intending employee will show he has given time, money and resources to show he’s capable, competent in addition to be being consistent on how his works. While the potential employee will have to show reasons why he should be hired, and all these will point to one thing, giving.
In conclusion, if you desire anything in life, consider giving it your time, whether it involves setting up a business, beginning a relationship, studying a course, serving God, or building your body; consider giving it your time and resources, and trust me, the blessings will come back to you. That’s the blessings of giving.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Adding Value
Adding Value: Appreciate Your Challenges by Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Human beings are bound to face challenges whether they like it or not. The challenges of life are inevitable no matter how one tries to avoid them. According to Bill Cosby, “the only way to avoid criticisms is to say nothing, do nothing and be nothing”. This is impossible because they will surely talk about you whether you talk or not. This is simply how the challenges of life work. You can’t shy away from problems. In fact, the only time we stop facing challenges is when we are dead.
Just to let you know how one can’t shy away from problems in life; imagine one driving a car, and he is extremely careful, no matter how careful he might be, he can’t control the steering of another car behind or in front of him. The best he can do is to manage his car to minimize potential danger.
In the same way, problems and challenges will surely locate anyone no matter how careful they are on issues of life.
Challenges come in different forms; some of them are financial challenges, academic challenges, emotional challenges, health challenges, marital challenges, professional challenges, spiritual challenges and personal challenges. The challenges of life are unlimited, and managing these challenges is what makes us rational and informed beings. The way these challenges are managed can either mar or make the individual.
Overcoming these challenges are not as easy as one may think. This is where trusted friends, advisors, and mentors, who can assist in navigating through these challenges come to play. These people must be people who have our interest at heart, but more importantly, they should be people who are knowledgeable and experienced in such cases or subject matter. This is because a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other people’s mistakes.
In relating with trusted people, it’s advisable for one to be vulnerable. This can be challenging, but then it’s the risk one must take to get assistance. Vulnerability helps one to connect with people especially when one is relating with a matured mind with emotional intelligence.
Regardless of how one’s challenges are, challenges are not bad per se, there are certain good things that come with challenges. As a matter of fact, challenges help to sharpen one very well, it gives one a new perspective to life, help learn new lessons, creates opportunity, strengthens and makes one stronger.
As human beings, we experience adversaries of some kind which can lead to downfall. These falls can be devastating, and can make one feel traumatized. However, we should view these falls with gratitude rather than dismay. This is because of the inherent lessons contained in them. Isn’t it true that our disappointment sometimes can lead to our appointments, just like our trials can lead to our triumphs and our pains can metamorphose to our gains? If only we can maximize the inherent messages and lessons they contain.
To show you how you can benefit from your challenges and pains, sometimes, things will go bad for things to happen just like gold and oil will have to be refined and processed to be resourceful. In the same vein, milk goes bad to become cheese, wheat and corn go bad to become whiskey, gracie juice ferments to become wine, garbage goes rotten and becomes compost.
So, in the grand scheme of things, sometimes in life, things did not go wrong so you could get anxious, depressed, or suicidal. They went bad because it is part of the process of progress. Sometimes, the best comes after the worst. You will get better if you don’t get bitter. In some cases, things can go bad due to the mistakes and choices one made, and as you may know, actions have corresponding consequences.
In conclusion, I don’t know what may have gone wrong in your life; I don’t know the mistakes you may have made, neither do I know the challenges you may have experienced, but the good news I have for you is to stay strong, appreciate the challenges and the associated lessons it brought your way, while believing in God to help you to overcome. This is because sometimes in life, the creator of heaven and earth brings these challenges to us for reasons best known to Him. So when you can’t change it, kindly appreciate it with love because at the end of the day you will smile cheerfully.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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