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Adding Value: Face Your Fears by Henry Ukazu

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Greeting dear Friends,

I will start this article with a quote from Les Brown: “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” Growth is a very hard process. Growth comes in different shapes and sizes, but what is important is we are growing. Some people grow with joy, while others grow with fear. Regardless of where your fear is coming from, it should be accepted with joy because fear itself comes with its own blessing if only you can see from the brighter side of life. Fear itself is indeed necessary for our growth.

We all have fear living in us. Politicians have the fear of the unknown, and entrepreneurs of succeeding in their craft. We all have dreams and visions we will like to see come through.

What really is fear? Fear can be defined as a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat that occurs in certain types of organisms, which causes a change in metabolic and organ functions and ultimately a change in behavior, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events. At various points in our life, we have experienced fear. The fear of the unknown can be regarded as one of the worst forms of fear. In politics, politicians are always skeptical of what their fate might be during the election because of the unstable nature of politics. Entrepreneurs and business managers are always afraid of how their products might be accepted in the market. Leaders sometimes are afraid of how their decision might affect the company, students are afraid if they’ll pass their exams, pregnant women always experience anxiety and some element of fear about their unborn child. Parents have fears about their children safety and also how they’ll turn up to be responsible citizens. Some travelers are always afraid of flying in the air, by road or sea. While some have a phobia for traveling. The list is just endless.

Fear has limited many people from reaching their potentials. Fear can be likened to taking a risk. It’s often said that great achievers are risk-takers. These sets of individuals look at their circumstances and dare to succeed. They are not deterred by what they are experiencing, rather, they are concerned they are where they are going. These are the people that are called visionaries because they conquered their fear. It’s instructive to note that the fear of taking risk is risk itself.

Let’s discuss how we can face our fears.

Nothing is permanent. Just like life has its own up and down, fear itself is only temporary if we allow it to have to its position. Regret is what lasts forever; but the unfortunate thing is that sometimes, we all allow fear to last for a long period of time. Fear will respect you if you position it where it is supposed to be. But if you allow it to conquer you, you’ll forever regret it and that’s one the saddest you want to regret in your life.

You have the control of your life, nothing even your parents, friends, employers, spouse, and whatever you may have in your life can control you only if you allow it to control you because you know what is good for you. I will share a personal experience with you, I once quit a job I had due to the interest and vision I had. To a lot of people, it was an irrational and senseless decision because there was little or no backup plan. In reality, I had the fear of the unknown. To be honest, my only and greatest confidence was that I was going to see my grandmother to seek her blessings for my life.  I remembered speaking to my mentor before quitting the job, and he asked me if my mind was at peace when I was quitting the job, I said yes, and he replied, that’s all that mattered. Fast forward the journey to two years time, I got two rare blessings that changed the course of my life (married a rare gem which my grandmother prayed for before leaving this sinful world and securing a priceless opportunity from a major financial institution which ordinarily, wouldn’t have occurred if not for the transient period of set back when I quit the job). The two lessons learned here are:  Don’t try to be fearless, just don’t allow your fear to make decisions for you, and, always have peace of mind whenever you are about to make a decision.

It is important to note that a little bit of fear is normal. In fact, fear helps you to instinctively protect yourself from harm. For example, if you have fear of failing exams, you’ll be inspired to work hard harder. Also if you look at the people who want to see you fail, you’ll be inspired to work harder and humble them with your success.

How to over overcome Fear

Be engaged:

You can challenge your fear by engaging it in it. For instance, if you are afraid of public speaking, the only way you can overcome it, is by engaging in public speaking. Your fear of public speaking might prevent you from advancing in your career and that can be frustrating. So challenge that fear by facing it squarely. You can start small by speaking to family members, friends who you are comfortable with or even friendly associations or communities. You can also have an internal conversation with yourself about what your fears are stopping you from doing, and consider if it’s a problem that you need to confront.

Evaluate Risk Level

Every risk has to ascertained to know if it is worth undertaking. Keep in mind that just because something feels scary, doesn’t mean it’s actually risky. Educate yourself about the facts and the risks you actually face by doing the things that scare you.

Create an Action Plan

The key to facing your fears is to take one small step at a time. Going too fast or doing something too scary before you are ready can backfire. This basically means you have to be prepared for any opportunity you want to explore. For instance,  if you are about to quit your job, it’s imperatively important for you to get sufficient experience, information, knowledge, skills, and confidence to begin the next phase of your life unless you longer have peace of mind on the current job. There will be some element of fear that’s okay because a moderate amount of anxiety is good and it’s important to keep moving forward. Moral: Don’t wait to take a step forward until your anxiety disappears. According to some school of thought, social parlance, never wait for the coast to clear before you move. Sometimes it’s good to swing through the wave.

Another way of creating an action plan is preparing before execution. If you want to develop your public speaking skills, you can eliminate fear by standing in front of a mirror and give a two-minute talk, record yourself giving a talk and watch it back, practice the talk in front of a spouse, family member, friend, and friends. You can also watch videos.

Seek Professional Help

Having mentors, experts, or even friends can play a significant role in eliminating fear from your life. If you have a specific phobia, you may not be able to conquer your fears on your own. If your fears are debilitating, or you aren’t having much success facing them on your own, seek help from tested and trusted persons. Treatment may involve talking about the thing that scares you, practicing relaxation strategies, and managing your anxiety as you face your fears head-on. A therapist, however, will help you go at a pace that is comfortable and healthy for you. It is always better to know whose hand you are holding physically or emotionally.  This helps with allaying of fears for the rest of your life..

Exercise.

Exercise has a role in eliminating fear. It can refocus you (your mind can only focus on one thing at a time). Whether you go on a short walk, running, jogging, etc it will help you to be comfortable. You can also use humor to deflate your worst fears. This is mostly applicable in public speaking. Isn’t it true that when you joke about something, it can help to reduce tension and anxiety?

Don’t Be a Victim of Fearing Fear Itself

You are what you feel and it is only a matter of time for what you feel to manifest. If you have fear, don’t show it, rather show the courage in your eyes. Nothing has power over us except the one we give it. So if you give fear power, it will overpower you and resonate in all parts of your body.

 Assume the Worst

A good way to overcome fear is by preparing for the best and expecting the worst. When you get to a stage in life that you don’t care about what people say about you, you have literally reached a high level of freedom. Even at work, once you make your boss understand you don’t really care if you fired why doing your legitimate assigned work to the best of your ability, he or she might respect you the more internally especially when you know your job very well as opposed to showing him/her fear by playing to the gallery. When you showy boss an element of fear, he/she might be tempted to take you for a ride because your life literally depends on the job, that’s why it’s not always good to show your fear.

You Are Not Defined by Your Fear

We are not defined by our circumstances, rather we are defined by what we overcome. Many people have faced so many challenges, but they were able to overcome with uncommon strength. The only positive thing fear does to you is that it gives you positive exposure if you learn from it. Fear is false evidence appearing real, it’s up you to face it and overcome it.

In conclusion, what are you afraid of? It’s hight you overcame and succeed.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Disguised Blessings by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

There is no doubt everyone experiences different levels of pain and disappointment when things or life don’t go as planned. Many thoughts naturally run through minds. Depending on the issue on the ground, one might wonder what he did wrong, or what he could have done differently. More questions such as ‘was my request too much, did I act too fast or slow, was my approach bad, was my work untidy, did I under prepare will continually flash tbrough the mind? No doubt, the mind will be busy wondering what caused the failure.

Ordinarily, they are supposed to make us feel frustrated, especially when it is an opportunity we have been praying to have. Imagine having an idol, celebrity or an influential leader who can change your life giving you an opportunity, but for reasons beyond your comprehension or articulation, you couldn’t seize the moment to create a lasting impression; an lost opportunity.

Trust me, I can relate to the feeling having experienced similar fate on several occasions. There are relationships that I have lost either because I was naïve or couldn’t nurture it well. However, one may try to look at it, life may not always go as planned; one may be planning out his life and God or the universe will be planning something else. Sometimes, what we thought might be good for ourselves, might not really be good for us.

Let me share a practical story; during my formative years in the United States of America, I worked as a security officer for a decent amount of time, while still applying to many other companies. Though I couldn’t secure a decent paying job, I didn’t lose hope either, I kept my hope alive. It is important to state that I was frustrated and felt depressed. I wondered when my life will change for the better. It got to a stage I felt only a miracle can change the course of my life because people who have less capacity, competency and capability than me were getting opportunities and I began to wonder if I was cursed. Many thoughts were running through my mind. But what gave strength were the words of my Registrar while at New York Law School. According to him, if you lose all options, don’t lose hope.

One thing I did was to maximise my present status as a security officer and used the opportunity to network during the day. I attended events of interest in the morning, afternoon and nights. Sometimes. I will go to work from the event.

In all honesty, I didn’t know the people I met during my formative years while working as a security officer will be instrumental to who I am today, and what I will be doing in the near future. Why do I say this? I know for a fact, assuming I had a decent paying job after my law school program, I doubt if I would have had time to write my first book and as well, attend events and network with the high and mighty in the society.

When I look back, I will say this is a disguised blessing because all these people came in handy to support my work when I published my book.

Furthermore, there was a time I missed a Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award event, an award that could have changed the course of my life. While I was troubled by the incident, a mentor of mine said to me, “don’t grieve for what didn’t happen because what didn’t happen could prevent disaster from happening”. This is so true because sometimes we might not know the people we meet, who can do harm to us in the nearest future which we might not know, so the creator of the universe can cause a scene or situation that will prevent the relationship from going forward.

It can also be a case where one is looking for a job, and the job might be that which will consume the fellow in the nearest future. So, when one gets denied the opportunity of working, instead of crying over spilled milk, consider seeing it as disguised blessing, which can be a bigger company that might offer you more benefits. It can also be a case of maybe, your destiny helper might be in the company that offers you less pay as opposed to a bigger company that one is aspiring to get, but was denied.

In the journey of life, sometimes one must refuse to capitalize on one’s gain, this is because anyone can do that, but what’s more important is to profit from the loss, because that requires a certain degree of intelligence.

Disguised blessings can come in different forms, for instance while some people are begging because one of their legs is amputated, another person has won Gold at Paralympics because both legs are amputated and thereby receiving global recognition.

Life is about perspective; how you see it is how it will reflect on you. Life itself is a mirror; it depends on the lens you are using to view it. If you believe that life happens to you, you will be the beggar in that situation. But if you know that you happen to life, you will be bigger instead of being a beggar. So, wake up every day and don’t gauge how you feel that day. Instead, tell yourself how you want to feel on any given day. Be the driver of your life, not a passenger.

In conclusion, when you have done what you are supposed to, and life still doesn’t turn out as expected, instead of feeling frustrated, try looking at it from the angle of disguised blessings by learning the inherent lessons the said situation is bringing to your table of life.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: The Faith to Succeed by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

We all need faith to succeed. Whether a student, entrepreneur, politician, leader, clergy or even woman in desperate need of a child; without faith, success will be difficult.

Faith is a strong component of life. Faith can be described as the invisible energy one cannot see but feels. For one to truly succeed, one must have faith in himself and business. If this is in place, the path is therefore paved for the extra mile through attending events of interest whether paid or unpaid for, reading books, network strategically, and most importantly believing in his work and worth.

The sad reality about life is that sometimes we lose faith in ourselves, and in our work Sometimes, just because of criticisms whether direct or constructive, in some cases we believe we are not good enough or our work is not good enough.

There are many reasons why one can fail in life, and lack of faith is one of them. I strongly believe that if no one believes in you, you just have to believe in yourself, if no one loves you, love yourself, if no gives you an opportunity, give yourself an opportunity, if no one gives you a chair, bring your seat. I have also come to realize that one has to project the image they want the world to see them as. In doing this, there is the need to present and package visions with optimism as opposed to living a fake life.

When faith is well practised, it will definitely be tested; one’s desire, interest, passion and love will be tested. It’s just like a lady who professes love to her lover; she is bound to be loyal to the relationship, in good and bad times despite having admirers who are ready to splash the goodies of life on her. In the same vein, a married woman will have to prove her love to her husband when the man experiences a challenge in his finances.

The same theory is also applicable to men whether single or married, who are always in the business of messing with other ladies despite being committed in a relationship. The idea here is that one’s faith will be tested because at the end of the day, we shall all experience challenges in our businesses, friendship, relationship, marriage, and spiritual life.

The power of faith however, cannot be overemphasized. Barack Obama believed in himself when he contested to be the United States of America President. Many people doubted his ability to win, but he humbled them with his audacious victory. He even authored a book titled “The Audacity of Hope” and “Dreams from My Father”. A cursory look at the titles of the book will reveal that Obama had absolute faith in the future, and his faith was audacious. He also believed in the dreams of his late father which also speaks about his father’s faith as well as his.

I believe this might be the reason the tagged his presidential campaign “Hope”. Hope in the possibility of the future.

When you believe in your spouse, child, employees and friends, you give them imaginary strength to do wonders. I have experienced the blessings of having faith in oneself. When I was working on my first book, I had faith the book would leave a great impact in the lives of young adults and emerging entrepreneurs, in addition to opening doors for me, and as fate will have it, it turned out exactly the way I imagined.

I also have the firm belief that by the special grace of God, I will be celebrated like other great minds the world has known. How it will happen, when it will happen and where it will happen, that I cannot say, but I believe it will happen at the right time.

When the word faith is mentioned, its principle is universal. It is instructive to note that it is the name you call someone the person will answer. When you don’t believe in something, it won’t work for you. There is a story about a sick mother whose son was a doctor. The son gave the mother a pill, but she refused and insisted she needed an injection. The son told the mother that as an experienced physician, who had been treating different patients for years, he was sure of the prescription he was giving her. Still, the mother refused to take the pill and insisted she needed an injection.

According to her, she had seen him injecting other people, and they got well. After some pleading, the mother agreed to take the pill. Sadly, even after then, her condition didn’t improve. When the son realized what was going on, he decided to inject her with only water as a placebo. In two days, the mother’s health dramatically improved. This is an example of how the root cause of an illness may lie in the mind or belief, but more importantly the woman had faith in the injection more than the pill her son is giving her.

My late dad used to own a hospital with his siblings, and each time I visited the hospital, I heard music in the background. I wondered why music was played in such silent and melodic tones. I later understood that the music was a form of spiritual and faith-based healing method. When patients heard the spiritual healing music, it gave them hope of survival.

In conclusion, in whatever you are doing, or want to do, you need to ignite a proactive and pragmatic faith to succeed. While doing this, be aware that doubt, fear and distractions will show up along the way. When they do, just know that, your desire for success should always outweigh your fear for failure.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Be Intentional in Seed Sowing by Henry Ukazu

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Greetings Destiny Friends,

Human beings plant seeds every second, minute, hour, week, month, year and decade. One may be wondering how this works. Did you know that every thought that runs through one’s mind is a seed? Did you know that every action one takes is classified as a seed? Did you know the work we engage in on a daily, weekly, monthly or yearly basis all relates to planting a seed? We plant these seeds knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally, directly or indirectly. These seeds grow in us without us knowing.

Consider this practical example on how seeds grow without one’s knowledge; have you ever imagined how a newborn baby grows? The child grows while in their sleep just like a normal being.

Did you know that as a student, parent, teacher, supervisor, leader or mentor you are planting something. It is an indisputable fact that whatever you plant is what you will reap. An intentional mind with a growth mindset should question what he or she is planting.

To understand that mindset, every informed mind should always ask what the best use of their time is. For instance, a Christian, who has reverence for God, would not like to offend Him. To know how intentional one can be when a crime is about to be committed, one should ask himself what Jesus Christ would do if He found Himself in the same situation.

If you want to do anything you must take a proactive step to sow the seed. If you don’t plant the seed, your crop won’t grow. As a student, if you don’t read, you won’t pass an examination. As a parent, if you don’t train your child very well, your child might derail from an acceptable path of civility. As a progressive being, if you don’t take intentional steps to develop your life spiritually, academically, vocationally, health wise, family, careerwise, financially, trust me you will pay dearly for it.

Planting that seed entails taking positive action to do the needful. In the journey of life, one must not wait for a perfect time to act. Yes, I agree that sometimes, one must prepare, however, in certain situations, one just must swim along and potentially hope the universe will align with them. If one waits for a perfect time to strike, the perfect time might not come. Life and experience have taught me a unique support principle which states that the universe has a way of conspiring with a determined being to bring his desire into realization.

Planting is like setting up a business or organization. It involves layers and strategies.

Let me share a practical example on how to plant a good seed. First, decide what kind of seed to plant. When that part is figured out, the next stage is planning. Isn’t it true that failing to prepare is preparing to fail. Clarity enables preparation. Clarity helps one to make clearer and informed decisions. Clarity helps one to say yes to the right things. Did you know the whole world steps apart for the man who knows where he’s going? So before decision is taken to plant, there is the need to get acts together otherwise disaster might be the end result.

The third step of planning is launch. When it comes to execution, it’s important to note that one don’t have to wait for a perfect time to execute. Just do what you have to do with what you have anywhere you are. One keynote to bear in mind when executing is the fact that flexibility is the key to resistance. This is simply because your plan will be tested, so when it doesn’t go as planned, please don’t be hard on yourself.

Michael V. Robert, an American futurist and conglomerate, coined a word, “actionaire”. The actionaire takes action. He doesn’t wait for the dust to settle. He acts and fixes the odds as he moves along.

The sad mistake some entrepreneurs experience is that most times, they want to have a perfect space before they execute, they want to have a perfect programme, structure and product devoid of mistakes.

They fail to realize that done is better than perfect when perfect is not done. If that is you, I will strongly advise you to take the leap of faith, and execute. You’ll appreciate the experience that came because of your failures.

The fourth stage of planning is adjustment. This means adjusting your plan. As you rightly know, sometimes, life will not give us what we desire, but it will surely give us what we deserve. It’s instructive to note that, in personal and professional development journeys, paths will evolve, and one must be flexible when the need becomes imperative, because flexibility is the key to resistance.

Adjusting your plans means learning from your mistakes, researching contemporary trends and knowing what’s applicable in your industrial line of business.

The final but not the least is networking with the right people and organizations. Human beings are the vessels of opportunities and resources. No matter how strong and talented one can be, nobody and I repeat, nobody can do it alone. You need a community of collaborators, strategic media partners, mentors, tribes and a team to effectively carry out any task. According to an African adage, if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go with a team.

It is important to note that the world needs visionary leaders, who can design or create products and services that will solve problems in society.

When you look around, you will see many problems the communities, and the world in general, are facing. If that is too much for you to decipher, look around you, you will see individuals who are experiencing challenges and frustrations in their personal and professional lives, you can counsel, mentor, and assist them in developing their business depending on their needs. All these are examples of planting seeds in the minds of people.

Furthermore, planting of seeds does not only apply to crops, taking positive action and developing a business, among others. It also means laying a foundation for the kind of life one wants to live. In this context, one will have to plant the seed of love, kindness, patience, understanding, gratitude, appreciation, proactiveness, etc.

In conclusion, what seed would you like to plant in your business, family, employees, mentees, personal and professional life? When you figure it out, take a proactive step to plant it and nurture it to the fullest.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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