Opinion: The Secret Of Listening

Published

6 years ago

March 29, 2019

Editor

By Henry Ukazu

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply” –

Stephen R. Covey

Greetings Friends,

Today’s article will take a different route because it will be structured to empower any rational mind to

think out of the box. One of the greatest force in life is love. There’s an imaginary strength that comes

when we truly love. If you have truly loved, you’ll agree with me that you’ll truly listen to what your

other partner, friend, family have to say even how they feel. I once read a book by Gary Chapman “The

five love language Love language” where the author beautifully wrote about the five love languages

(Words affirmation, physical touch, gift, services and time). When you truly care, you’ll apply all this

love languages to your partner, friend, work or whatever you are doing. I choose to use love to buttress

the important of listening because in whatever you do in life, if you don’t love, you wont give in your

time to it and listening is one of the components of loving .

There are so many things we are stand to gain when we listen to people. One of the greatest things you

can do for anyone is to listen to them. It should be noted that listening comes with respect. Whether you

are in the cooperate world, self employed (entrepreneur), Non Government Cooperation or even in the

faith based organization, you are bound to listen to your audience because that is the best way to

communicate with them while serving them.

Listening is a choice, you decide to listen to what you like. It is really hard sitting or even standing up

listening to people you don’t value. When you listen to podcast or programs of interest, you select music,

talks or even comedy of interest that appeals to you. In this digital age, experience has taught me to pay

attention to what we truly matters to me. In fact, unless I am sacrificing my time for a worthy cause, if it’s

not taking me to the next level and if it doesn’t involve money, it doesn’t worth my time.

In any industry you are in, you need to practice good listening skills. Are you seeking for a job, or are you

currently working, you need a good listening skill to succeed in a job environment. With this skill, you

can navigate the politics of the job environment. Even a leader needs this skill the most. I have always

opine that one of the great art of a leader is the ability to learn. This is because you get more ideas when

you listen to your followers. Listening gives you ability to hear (feedback) what others feel about your

work. According to Bill Gates “your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning”.

During the course of this article, we shall be discussing the different styles of listening and how we can

use effective listening to enhance our business or opportunity of interest.

1. Practice active listening: The most important thing you can give to a public speaker is your

ears. When you listen to someone you are not only giving the person your time, you are also

learning more about the person. There’s a saying you can learn more about a person by he what

he/she does than what he/she says. Practicing active listening to is a very good way to learn and

be engaged. In communication, what is important is not what is being said, but what is not being said, therein, lies the message. When you practice active listening you hear the unspoken

language from the other person in addition to being engaged. According to G.K. Chesterton

“there’s a lot of difference between hearing and listening.” This is because hearing isn’t

necessarily listening, nor is it necessarily listening well. This is because you can hear someone

but not present at the same time. Active listening makes you to be present. You may have heard

of the saying, the joy of life is not happy you are, but how happy someone can because of you.

Everyone loves to be listened and loved. In my book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your

Birthright To Success, specifically on page 111, I wrote about the four levels of gratitude

(Appreciation, administration, approval and attention). In order to understand this teachings you

must practice active listening to understand the unspoken words inherent in such deeds.

2. Eye Contact: A great communicator uses eye contact to deliver his/her message. One of the most

valuable ways a public speaker uses to communicate with his/she audience is by using eye

contact. With eye contact, you can tell if your audience is listening or feeling bored. Sometimes

you hear what the person is saying when you look directly in the eyes of the person, sometimes,

maintaining a visible presence by looking over the head audience gives them the desired space

they need. This is because some people don’t feel comfortable when they have direct eye contact.

Eye contact also goes with the body language of the speaker. In communication, sometimes,

somethings are better felt than spoken.

3. Don’t interrupt the speaker: A good way to know a great speaker is by looking how he/she

pitches his/point or message. Interrupting a speaker can ruin the flow of information. That is why

sometimes, it is good to reserve the questions towards the end of any presentation.

4. Listen without judgment: –: In communication, most times, people listen with the intent to

respond as opposed to understanding. This normally plays out most times in marriage. In law, a

good to way to apply justice is by listening to the other side. In applying this knowledge, the

judge normally use Audi alteram partem, a Latin phrase meaning “listen to the other side”, or “let

the other side be heard as well”. It is the principle that no person should be judged without a fair

hearing in which each party is given the opportunity to respond to the evidence against them.

5. Meditation: Mediation is a form of listening. According to Thomas Carlyle, “Silence is the

element in which great things fashion themselves together”. Meditation is truly a great form of

listening. According to Wayne Dyer, an inspirational author, meditation is simply the act of being

quiet with yourself and shutting the constant monologue that fills the inner space. Meditation

helps in self discovering. You learn more about yourself when you listen to your inner self as

opposed to what other people think of you. There are many benefits that comes with meditation.

Examples include, it reduces stress, helps you to focus very well, it reduces anxiety, and it gives

you better memory and enhances creativity.

In conclusion, a good listening skill if properly utilized will set you on a good path that will set you

before leaders, kings and Heads of Industries if properly applied.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with New York City Department of Correction as the

legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your

Birthright To Success.

Akpabio Relieves Natasha of Committee Chairmanship Position, Appoints Akwa Ibom Senator As Replacement

Published

2 days ago

July 10, 2025

Eric

Senate President, Godswill Akpabio, has replaced suspended Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan, as the Chairman, Senate Committee on Diaspora/Non-Governmental Organisations.

In her place, Akpabio named Senator Bassey Aniekun Etim (Akwa Ibom -East).

The Senate President, who made the announcement on the floor in Abuja on Thursday, did not give any reasons.

The committee position had remained vacant since March when the Senate suspended the Kogi-Central Senatorial District lawmaker for six months for flouting the Senate’s rule on the seating arrangement and seat allocation.

The suspended lawmaker, at a point, chaired the Senate Committee on Local Content before Akpabio reassigned her to the Committee on Diaspora/NGO, shortly before she ran into trouble with the Senate over her conduct on seat allocation.

Headline

Supreme Court Upholds Election of Monday Okpebholo As Edo Governor

Published

2 days ago

July 10, 2025

Eric

The Supreme Court has affirmed the 2024 governorship election victory of Governor Monday Okpebholo of the All Progressives Congress (APC), dismissing the appeal filed by the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) candidate, Asuerinme Ighodalo.

In a unanimous decision by a five-member panel led by Justice Mohammed Garba, the apex court ruled that the appeal lacked merit. It upheld the earlier judgments of the Court of Appeal and the Edo State Governorship Election Petition Tribunal, which had both declared Okpebholo the validly elected governor.

Headline

‘Overthrow’ Comment: Tinubu’ll Be Removed by Votes, Not Bullets, ADC Replies Presidency

Published

2 days ago

July 10, 2025

Eric

The African Democratic Congress (ADC), on Wednesday, said President Bola Tinubu will be removed through the ballot and not bullets.It dismissed insinuations that the coalition is interested in truncating democracy in Nigeria.

ADC’s Interim National Publicity Secretary, Bolaji Abdullahi, accused Tinubu of laying the foundation for a clampdown on opposition leaders.

He made the remark in response to a tweet by Tinubu’s spokesman, Bayo Onanuga, who alleged that the opposition was planning to overthrow the President.

Onanuga had said the coalition had ganged up to overthrow Tinubu’s administration.Rubbishing Onanuga’s comment, Abdullahi described his remark as reckless and unsubstantiated.

In a statement he signed, Abdullahi said Onanuga’s comment shows that Tinubu’s administration is out to intimidate and repress opposition political leaders in Nigeria.

He noted that ADC would explore Democratic means to ensure Tinubu’s removal from office and not by overthrowing him.

The statement read partly: “ADC condemned the tweet made by an aide of President Bola Tinubu, Onanuga, which alleges that the opposition is planning to overthrow the Tinubu government before 2027.

“If anything, it potentially lays the grounds for systematic clampdown on opposition leaders.

“The ADC is not interested in truncating democracy, we are solely committed to saving the nation from the irredeemable incompetence of this government. We are not soldiers, we are politicians.

“We don’t have bullets; we only have the ballots. When the time comes, we will only present our solutions and an alternative vision of the future to the Nigerian people and leave them to make their choice.”