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RELATIONSHIP: The Changing Dynamics of Wooing

Published

5 years ago

May 25, 2019

Eric

It may not be common yet, but the dynamic of wooing no longer leans majorly on the side of men. In fact, women in the western world, for instance, have so much perfected the art that their men do not feel burdened with strategizing and lying for the chase any longer.

Interestingly, the trend is now crossing over into African societies and especially the Nigerian culture. Old African cultures usually operated at the level of betrothal, before young men and women snatched autonomy from their parents regarding their romantic or matrimonial choices. Since the turn of the 21st century, African parents hardly even have a 50% say in the partner their ward chooses; youths take the liberties to court whoever their heart desires.

There have always been elements of hyper-gamy and patriarchy in how the human relationship has evolved over time. How it came to be that women expect to be wooed and convinced by a man is still largely mysterious. It was not a law but it has been an unspoken rule of engagement which generation after generation has strangely accepted and followed to the book. This trend has made even some women reluctant to get or seek pleasure by themselves, replacing it with an expectation to be patronized by men.

As another aspect of sexual evolution would have things change, feminism, for starters, seized a larger part of women’s autonomy from the claws of patriarchy and handed it back to them. Women in the western worlds began to see that they can get the kind of men they want too and not just the men getting the kind of women they wanted.

Before social media or telecommunications was a thing, men developed so many tactics to catch the attention of the kind of women they wanted: and the more they practised wooing the better they got at the art of seduction. Others who are not able to swing women in their favour went a little overboard and would sometimes rather harass the women who rejected their advances with catcalls than take being rejected in good faith. In worse scenarios, other men too took ownership of women by force deploying rape and sexual abuse as a tool of control. The balance was badly skewed – men risked to venture into women while the women shuffled and had the last decision on the choice.

Perhaps, the advent of technology has helped to begin to tilt this dynamic towards women now. The fear of rejection which many women initially faced when wooing men is now being dampened by the mask which social media provides. Surely, a rejected advance on social media is still less traumatic than in the physical world where such a woman might have to walk away with heavy feet if she got rejected. But gone are the days of women sending men mere signals, mild seduction and flirtations – which men naturally fall for – and expect just that to get the job of wooing done. In fact, men who get advances from women are now beginning to ask for more – to be properly wooed.

While a larger percentage of women still vouch they will never move over to the men, expecting their perfect gentleman and prince-charming to come out of the blues and court them; quite a good crop of women are beginning to accept the reality of the changing times and equally adjusting.

It is a good time to be alive; to witness that women can also initiate active responsibility in going for their choice of men without being stereotyped or judged as slutty.

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Breaking: Wike Plans to Attend Thursday’s PDP NEC Meeting

Published

2 days ago

April 17, 2024

Eric

By Eric Elezuo

The immediate past Governor of Rivers State, and Minister of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), Mr Nyesom Wike, may have concluded plans to attend the much advertised National Executive Council (NEC) meeting of the main opposition party, the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), billed to hold on Thursday, in Abuja.

Impeccable source, who is in the know, told The Boss that the minister, whose membership of the PDP is yet to be revoked even as he frolicks with the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC), and serving in the President Bola Tinubu government as a minister.

The Source told The Boss that Wike’s impending presence at the NECeeting on Thursday is not unconnected with plans, already hatched with some governors, to weaken the opposition PDP.

“Yes, we have on good authority that FCT minister, Wike is planning to attend the NEC meeting tomorrow all in a bid to weaken the fabrics of the PDP, and pave the way for the continuation of the Tinubu administration come 2027, and by extension, relapse Nigeria to a full blown one party state.

“From every indication, Wike and his co-travellers, are bent on unleashing the same crisis ravaging the third force, Labour Party, and Senator Rabiu Kwankwaso’s Nigerian National People’s Party (NNPP) on the PDP for the APC to remain the only political party in the country, and ensure that Tinubu has no challenger, come 2027,” the Source said.

It would be recalled that Wike has boasted over and again that there’s no opposition against Tinubu’s re-emergence in 2027, and that they have made sure of that. He has been compensated with the Ministerial job after he withdrew support for his party, and supported the APC and Tinubu to emerge as national government.

The Source further revealed that in the attempt to actualize the intended one party state, a lot of funding is ongoing to ensure that concerned stakeholders are ‘settled’ handsomely.

Wike, prior, during and after the 2023 general elections, has been floating in between the two major political parties; the APC and the PDP. While he claim to still be a member of the PDP, he is functioning as a minister in an APC government, mocking the inability of his party to discipline him.

Political stakeholders have concluded that the outcome of Thursday’s PDP NEC meeting will determine the path Nigeria’s political trajectory will take, and that it may portend the end of multi-party system and political democracy if Wike succeeds in his plan.

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Bribery, Corruption: APC Suspends National Chairman, Ganduje

Published

4 days ago

April 15, 2024

Eric

The All Progressives Congress ward in Ganduje, Dawakin Tofa Local Government Area, has suspended the party’s National Chairman, Dr. Abdullahi Ganduje.

The party ward legal adviser, Halliru Gwanzo, announced the suspension while addressing newsmen in Kano State on Monday.

Gwanzo cited allegations of bribery against Ganduje levelled by the Kano State Government as the reason for the suspension.

“We decided to suspend Dr. Abdullahi Ganduje from the party due to the seriousness of the allegations against him,” Gwanzo said.

Meanwhile, efforts to contact the Chief Press Secretary to the APC National Chairman, Mr Edwin Olufo, failed as his mobile phone was unreachable.

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Akpabio Commits to Collaboration with Tinubu, Governor Umo Eno

Published

1 week ago

April 12, 2024

Admin

The President of the Senate, Godswill Akpabio, has stated his commitment to working closely with Nigeria’s President, Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, and Governor Umo Eno to ensure the delivery of democratic benefits to the people of Akwa Ibom State.

Akpabio stated this in his country home, Ukana, Essien Udim Local Government Area of Akwa Ibom, while briefing his constituents on the journey so far as their representative in the red chamber.

He assured the people of Akwa Ibom North West Senatorial District of his commitment to their welfare in appreciation of their total support for him, President Bola Tinubu and the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) in last year’s election.

The Highpoint of the constituency briefing was the distribution of over 10,000 bags of rice and other essentials for his constituents from the wards, to the local governments.

A statement by his Special Assistant on Media, Jackson Udom, quoted Akpabio as saying, “I am here once again, to thank you for standing by me, our President and the party, before, during and even after last year’s elections. I have come to say thank you and also bring Renewed Hope to you all.

“As the President is doing his own, the Senate President is also doing his bit and being complemented by the state governor, Akwa Ibom would be the better for it. We have finished elections and politics, we are now into governance. The governor of the state must touch you, because he is the governor of all the people in the state irrespective of political affiliation.

” As I am touching you now from the political angle, I will also touch the state without any political party affiliation. Most of the projects we are putting in place would be used by people resident in the state. Relax, things are getting better.”

The former Governor of the state, assured his constituents that his current position as the Senate President would be used for the development of the state in collaboration with the President and the Akwa Ibom State Governor.

Hear him: This Senate President is not the one that would be fighting the state government. I will collaborate with , I will collaborate with , to make the state better for us all. We cannot be out of government for a long time. You have to go to a government that carries you along”

Akpabio promised to work for his constituents and Nigeria with all his strength, noting that, “as the President of the Senate, I am for the Southern region and the entire country. I may not come here regularly to tell you what I have been doing for you, but you will be feeling the impact on way or the other. Our unemployed youths would be gainfully employed. I will construct a mini stadium in all the local governments in the district, for our youths to develop their sporting potentials. ”