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Adding Value

Adding Value: Succeeding Through Relationship and Association by Henry Ukazu

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Greetings Destiny Friends,

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people – Will Rogers

Success and failure have many components and characteristics, and one of them is association. However, many people don’t understand the power of association. Association works with relations. When you work and hang out with the right set of people, your chance of succeeding in life will be greater.

Did you know that your mindset contributes to success? As a matter of fact, your mindset can be described as the foundation of success because the success and failure of anyone starts from the mind. If you have the right mindset, you will think of the right relationship and association to belong to. If you have the right mindset, you will be concerned about your environment which can also contribute to your success.

Your attitude will change for the better if you have a progressive mindset, but if you have myopic and fixed mindset, your thoughts and experience will be limited regardless of your experience in a particular environment.

When people talk of relationship and association, it relates to the fabric of our society which starts from the family. A solid family where love and kindness are shown to the children, spreads love and unity among the siblings which in turn affects the society. When hatred, malice, wickedness, ungratefulness, and unhealthy attitude is sowed in the minds of children, they go out to the society with a hostile mindset. That’s why we have funny people and leaders who act like people without conscience.

Most people don’t know how blessed they are to be raised by decent parents in addition to having great siblings, until they meet people who have been damaged by society.

When one nurtures the right relationship, they are bound to reap the benefits when the right opportunity presents itself. It’s sad to note that many people have placed pecuniary gains and materialistic things above access and knowledge.

When you invest time and resources into the right relationship, it will germinate like a seed that is planted on a fertile soil. These relationships will introduce you to the right associations which will in turn provide you with the information you will need to succeed.

The power of information cannot be overemphasized. Information will only come to you when you have the right relationship and association. Did you know that if you are not informed, you are ill-informed and once you are ill-informed, you can’t perform because information leads to reformation and transformation. In fact, information leads to formation. You are a product of what you have learned, if you don’t read, you won’t know.

According to Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, “You are the same person today and in five years except for two things: the people you meet and the books you read.”

On a personal note, I can attribute my success to the relationship and association I keep. Sometimes, people ask me how I do what I do and how I meet the people I meet. I simply tell them, I’m smart by association and I’m a voracious reader. I say this because I am very intentional in what I do and how I relate with people.

Still on association, when people join associations or live in a particular neighborhood, they do it for a reason. When people pay to attend certain events, schools or travel or even volunteer for certain people or associations, they are doing it for a reason. When people seek mentors, they are seeking for people they hold in high esteem either in their professional capacity or based on their principles or integrity. Even the book of life says Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. (“Proverbs 13:20).

One may be concerned; how does one build these powerful associations? It begins with being selective and intentional. The first question, one needs to ask oneself is what do I want from this person or association?  It’s important to align yourself with individuals who share your values and aspirations.

The next step is to embrace diversity. It’s imperative that you connect with people from various backgrounds, cultures, and perspectives to life. This will help to enrich your experience, worldview, in addition to making you more innovative and adaptive. We live in a global and social economy. Like I always say, why be local when you can be global?

Furthermore, according to an African proverb “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” You cannot do life alone. All you need is the right people and association. The right people will support your efforts and accelerate your success. The wrong people will retard your progress altogether. According to kola Adesina, CEO Sahara Group, what you need in life is the right people and not necessarily Presidents, Governors, celebrities or people with money.

In conclusion, do you want to succeed in life? Then be intentional with books, people and association.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Be a Person of Purpose by Henry Ukazu

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Greetings Destiny Friends,

It is generally believed that the two most important dates in a person’s life are the day of his birth and the day of his purpose-discovery. Every human being is born with a purpose and a gift. One of the best things that can happen to anyone is to know his purpose, and work assiduously to fulfill it. It is important to note that the day one discovers his purpose is the day he becomes a millionaire.

The journey of purpose can be demanding and tasking, but if one is dedicated to fulfilling the purpose, he must be ready to face and overcome the associated challenges.

When one is blessed with a bright future, distractions are bound to come up so that the purpose will not be fulfilled. This is because when you succeed in your purpose, many people will benefit, and when you fail many people who are supposed to benefit, will suffer loss. That’s why it’s always good for someone to achieve success, no matter how little.

One of the best ways to succeed in life is by working with one’s gift or talent. One will easily attract opportunities, favour, blessings, and tractions when gift is involved in the endeavour. Even enemies will be forced to seek your services when you are the best person to do the job.

It’s worthy of note that when one is working on purpose, he will easily be misunderstood, and that’s okay, but when one succeeds, the ovation will change. The transformation and blessings that come with purpose is priceless. This is because one will be revered and highly sought after.

A man of purpose is focused like an eagle. He sees life’s bigger picture. And in spite of failure in business, academics, relationship/marriage, personal and professional challenges, a person of purpose will still strive because he knows his desire for success outweighs his fear of failure.

It is easy for one to give up in life when one experiences setbacks after investing time and resources into a project. Imagine spending years to invest enormous amounts of money and time on a project and it still fails. That can be disastrous. There are many things that can make one lose focus in life. Also, imagine investing months and years studying for a degree only for one to fail because of one or two marks; it could be traumatic. Imagine investing ten, twenty and thirty years in a marriage and it fails, it could be heartbreaking. Imagine spending a lot to build a mansion only for it to be destroyed in minutes due to faulty foundation or act of nature. The story is endless.

To be a person of purpose, one must be determined to overcome the vicissitudes of life. Imagine knowing your purpose and gift, but lack the capacity, structure, and resources to diligently pursue it. It will take an extraordinary man with an extraordinary mindset to stay focused especially when faced with financial challenges.

Couple of years ago, a friend reached out to me for a job opportunity which pays almost three times of my salary. I was tempted to take the offer, but I had two concerns, first, I was being considered for a job by the Mayor of New York. Secondly, the job I was being touted for is a totally different industry. After giving it a serious consideration, I had to decline the job offer. Even though it appeared unpopular to a lot of people, I considered it a good decision because life is not about money but making an impact in the lives of people. Yes, the money is good, but I thought it would be great to stay focused on one’s purpose because at the end, it will ultimately attract opportunities which money can’t buy.

To be a man of purpose, there are two great and indispensable traits a man must possess, they are vision and focus. While the vision will keep the dream alive, focus will be the vehicle to actualize it. Every human being should pray for the grace to know their purpose and understand the associated vision that comes with that calling and then abide in that calling by being focused.

There are many men of purpose who have overcome the challenges of life to achieve great feats. One of the most revered men of history is the former late President of South Africa, President Nelson Mandela, who opposed South Africa’s apartheid system. He faced harsh conditions to deter his resolve to give all South Africans equality. He spent twenty-seven years in prison. Upon his release, he contested for the presidency and won. Now, that’s a man of purpose.

Another interesting story is Abraham Lincoln who lost his job in 1832; got defeated for State legislature in 1832. Failed in business in 1833. Failed in business. Elected to State legislature in 1834. His sweetheart died in 1835. He had a nervous breakdown in 1836. He was defeated for speaker in 1838. He was defeated for nomination for Congress in 1843. He was elected to Congress in 1846. Lost renomination in 1848. He was rejected for land officer in 1849. He was defeated for U.S Senate in 1854. He was defeated for nomination for Vice President in 1856. He was defeated for U.S Senate in 1858 and got elected as the 16th President of the United States of America.

What’s the moral here? It’s not easy to face all these challenges and still remain focused on the big picture. President Lincoln can be described as a man of purpose. If we are honest to ourselves, very few people can survive these setbacks.

In conclusion, I don’t know what your storyline is, but one thing I can guarantee you is that good things don’t come easily. One will be groomed like gold goes through fire to become gold. Also, oil will have to be refined before it can be transformed into a fine finished product. As you journey through life, resolve to be internally focused and mentally determined to be a person of purpose.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Help Yourself by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

The best helping hand you will ever find is at the end of your own arm –  John Mason

One of the best forms of love, if not the best, is self-love. The ultimate truth is that apart from the creator, nobody can love you more than you can love yourself.

As human beings, sometimes, we depend on other people’s love to feel loved. Some people even desire social media and online love just to be accepted into the society. No doubt, everyone loves attention and approval.

Everyone loves to be accepted, appreciated, and recognized, but some of us are not ready to do the needful to attract the desired attention. The simple truth about life is that nobody can give you attention, neither will anyone give you recognition if you have not given them a reason to do so. So, one needs to help themselves before other people can help them.

Helping yourself is the best thing that can happen to you. When you help yourself, the joy hits differently. Helping yourself is not limited to adding value to your life. Did you know that self-care is a lifestyle, and it is one of the ways to help your life. Some of the ways self-care can help your life are engaging in regular exercise, eating healthy, avoiding drugs and alcohol, and sleeping well. Self-help also involves taking care of your mental, emotional, physical, environment, recreational, financial, social, physical, and spiritual needs.

Did you know that practicing simple self-care activities can help one achieve greater mental clarity, and gain a better understanding of their feelings?

Helping oneself is okay so long as it doesn’t involve unlawful actions or breach of peace. It’s sad to see people engage in illegality just to get what they want.

Those that depend on fellow human beings for help might be disappointed. Even though they may not have the intention to fail you, life sometimes, happens. They too might be going through personal challenges. Always leave a space in your heart to forgive or overlook when supposed friends, mentors, family members, mentors and benefactors don’t come through for you.

The sad reality of life is that, most times, we like to receive from resourceful persons, but we don’t seem to ask who will give to them. Do you think manna will fall from heaven for them? No. They must find creative ways to make ends meet. One of my mentors once stated, ‘you can work alone, but you can’t eat alone’.

What you don’t know is that these resourceful people were able to help themselves. That’s why they were able to get assistance from established institutions and resourceful people. Some of them might have had a business plans which they pitched to a team of panelists. Some developed programmes, sowed seeds, traveled far and wide and made mistakes while searching for the right path. These are some ways of helping oneself.

I have always stated, we all go through a secret frustration which nobody knows. For a fact, it is easier for people to assist you when you have added adequate value to your life. When you do, people won’t see you as a liability, rather, they will see you as a resource being.

In my journey towards life, I have realized that when you have a mentor or leader you respect, your ability to do the work will enable them to put the icing on the cake. I vividly remember when I published my first book, I had to reach out to Dr. Chief Dele Momodu to write the Foreword to my book. He was kind enough to accept my request. Imagine, if I had not written the book, the opportunity wouldn’t have arisen.

Now, you see that I was able to help myself before help came through. Isn’t it true that heaven helps those who help themselves.

In contemporary times, sometimes, we hope and rely on family members, friends, mentors, associates, mentees, benefactors and more, to help our craft just because we feel and think they are in a better position to assist us, depending on their position or status, but the reality is that sometimes we ask people things that are beyond them and when they refuse to assist, we feel offended.

One of my mentors, Dr. Yomi Garnett, rightly stated as follows, “So your aunt won’t help you financially. Your well-connected uncle won’t give you an introductory note to his minister-friend. Refuse to despise or resent them. Forgive them. Make excuses for them, such as they have enough challenges of their own. Then promptly take responsibility for your own life and your own success by asking God to show you His way.”

I can relate to Dr. Garnett’s statement because, in the past, I have tried to reach some people, some I shared my programmes for consideration, while others came via introduction. In most of these engagements, I couldn’t get what I wanted either because I didn’t come prepared, or was yet to develop the required capacity and competence to execute the task. However, when I developed expertise, they came for me, and in some cases, I was highly recommended. This is the reality of life; people generally love ripe fruits as opposed to unripe fruits which don’t taste nice.

During my formative years, I depended on people to the extent I feel entitled for their support because I felt they were rich, wealthy, and highly connected. I didn’t realize life doesn’t work that way. It was much later in life I realized that it will be easier for them to share their network and net worth with me when I have helped myself. As a matter of fact, that has become my fate because I have had opportunities to relate and work closely with some of my benefactors.

Today, I charge you to make an intentional effort to help yourself. Give your life a meaning. Stop complaining and start to take action to change the course of your life. You are not alone in this struggle; we are all in it together. Remember, nobody can write your story more than you and if you don’t talk about yourself, nobody will talk about you.

In conclusion, endeavor to help yourself so others can help you.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Wake Up and Act on Your Dreams by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

There’s no doubt sleep is good for the human body. The benefit of a good sleep is priceless. Sleep helps to relax the body system, especially when it is worn out and exhausted. When one sleeps, there’s a certain kind of nourishment and peace that comes to the human body. However, the quantity of sleep is not as important as the quality of sleep. You might sleep for eight hours, but the quality might not be as rich as the one who slept peacefully for just four hours.

Whenever sleep comes with a blissful dream, one must wake at once, and face the reality towards actualizing the dream. Just like we all need to wake up from our dream, we also need to tell ourselves the home truth, we are the architect of our life and as such, we are responsible for the outcome of our life.  If you don’t wake up to build the kind of life you want, you might end up working or building someone else’s life.

Don’t get me wrong; we are called to serve humanity in one way or another. While some people are born to be great leaders, some are born to be great followers, who will help the leader to lead well; some are born to be great entrepreneurs, while some to be employees serving in different capacities. What’s important is to know your calling, purpose, mission, vision, and concept of life, and then be intentional in actualizing it.

A renowned capitalist, Michael Roberts, in his book, “Action Has No Secret 2.0”, coined a word “Actionaire”. According to him, action has no season, and anyone can take action at any said time. He further stated that as an actionaire, one must decide to take action to bring forth their dreams. Without taking action, dreams will be mere desires.

An actionaire takes action. Michael Robert added that an actionaire always wakes up from his sleep and begins to take action.

To express how one takes action, my late dad counseled his children not to sleep too much. As a matter of fact, during our formative years in the USA, my late dad normally sprinkles water on me and my siblings when he feels we have had a decent sleep. He’s fond of saying, we have many hours and years to sleep when we die, but while we are alive, we should work.

In order to understand how one can wake up from sleep, there was a story about a gazelle and a lion. Every day, the gazelle wakes up, it knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or be killed and eaten for breakfast. Conversely, the lion also knows it must outrun the fastest gazelle or starve to death. The morale of this post is that whether you are a lion or a gazelle, at sunrise, you had better be running.

The principle here is simple, in the journey of life, if you don’t wake up, and act decisively, you will definitely remain where you are. Nobody is going to give you what you desire, rather they will give you what you deserve. It’s just like an employee or a skilled worker who is looking for a raise or better pay, your boss won’t pay you what you deserve no matter your degree. Though your employer will factor your degree and appreciate the effort, he will subtly inform you, he’s working on a budget, or this is the best they can offer. The option will now be open for you to decide if you want the job or not.

Again, if you are seeking for an opportunity, the opportunity will in turn seek you, and if you don’t seek an opportunity, the opportunity will not seek you.

In every sphere of life, you must wake up, and go after your dreams even if it means taking strategic risks. It’s instructive to note that no matter the dream, passion, academic qualification, certifications, prophesy, prayers, intuition, feeling, skills or even talents one may have, if one does not becomes intentional in taking action, their desires and ambitions will be mere wishes.

On a personal note, I have sought opportunities, networked with the right people, supported my mentors, and followed most of their principles, but my fortune didn’t change much until I began to take action. I have since discovered that great things happen when we take actionable steps to birth our vision.

Most of us want to write a book, get a Masters or Ph.D, apply for a fellowship, learn a skill among others, but due to procrastination, excuses or situations beyond our control, we couldn’t take action.

It’s worthy to note that life will not be easy and will never be easy anytime, we just need to do the best anytime we can whenever we have the opportunity. Sometimes, I pay to attend events of interest just to meet one person. Sometimes, I buy luxury items and gifts to associates, mentors, elders and people of interest just to get attention. I may not get the desired result now, but I do know one day, it will pay off. To tap into these blessings, please give and support with love. Don’t do it with vested interest. All these are ways of waking up from the dream and taking action.

It is sad to see lazy opportunists, who just believe manna will fall from above. These people will prefer to beg instead of looking for an opportunity to serve or work instead of taking action by making an effort to change the status quo.

It should be noted that opportunities will have to be created. The reason some rich or wealthy people find it hard to give people money might be because some of them took an amount of risks; some paid dearly to get to where they are; some even volunteered, while some took loans to set up their businesses and all of a sudden, somebody feels entitled to their money without making reasonable or strategic effort to show why they need support.

In conclusion, if you are sleeping, please wake up from your dream and take action. Act like a businessman who knows his target audience and takes effort to meet them where they are as opposed to having them come to him. That’s how to take action.

I charge you today, whatever you desire in life, dream it, say it, think it, see it, believe and most of all, wake up and act on it. I look forward to seeing you at the top.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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