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Adding Value

Adding Value: Navigating Through Life’s Stress by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Each of us experiences stress in one form or another. Stress comes in different stages. You can experience financial stress, academic stress, relationship/marriage stress, personal/emotional stress. You may be wondering what the most stressful part of life is. Well, depending on situational variables; mental, financial or relationship stress come tops. This is because when you have bills to take care of or provide for your family and the resources are not available, it can have a damaging effect on your mental and psychological mindset, which if not if not properly handled, can drain you. However, some schools of thought believe that marriage stress has the most damaging effect on a human being, especially when married to the wrong person.

As human beings, stress is inevitable in our life. Stress can be compared as a woman, who a minute few has described as a ‘necessary evil’ that can’t be avoided. The question we must continually deal with on a daily basis is how can we deal with stress in life?

It is often said that ‘whatsoever cannot kill you will make you stronger’, so stress does make one strong, who is smart enough to navigate through it. Some stress syndrome result from too many obligations which were not properly managed, and they end up having adverse effects on the body. It should be noted that nobody is immune to stress. When people say it’s not greener out there, they really know what they mean. Sometimes, we are quick to assume other people are living their best life while you are living your worst life. But, there may be more that meet the eye.

However, we should be concerned with how to overcome stress. In my calculated opinion, the best way to avoid stress is to avoid worrying over circumstances or situations that cannot be changed. As human beings, we always have the fear of the unknown which can come in several forms. When you come to the sublime realization that certain things and situations are beyond your control, you’ll realize that you are just worrying yourself unnecessarily.

Many people manage stress in different ways, while some people prefer seeing a therapist, others might prefer different relaxation steps like taking a walk in the garden, reading, sleeping, dancing, swimming, exercising, etc. You just need to know what works for you. Personally, whenever I am stressed, I listen to music or sleep to keep my sanity together.

Another way to overcome the adversity of stress of life is by celebrating little wins and gratitude. Most times, we are quick to condemn ourselves for the mistakes we have made. Sometimes, we are unnecessarily hard on ourselves, while sometimes we are quick to point fingers at circumstances, human beings and institutions as being the cause of our stress. The moment we fail to take ownership of our challenges and accept the fact that life happens to everyone, we’ll continue to experience stress.

The interesting thing about life challenges is that each one of us experience life and stress differently. For instance, the attitude and threshold of pain Mr. A or Ms. A will experience or feel from pain, divorce, or disappointments, will be different from that of Mr. B. or Miss B. This is because we all experience and react to stress, pain, and disappointments differently.

In conclusion, regardless of whatever your situation might be, just be grateful to your creator that you are still alive, and be happy because tomorrow is looking good. You can do this by looking at the street and see what different people are going through. Some don’t have legs, hands, eyes, food, etc. Some don’t even have family, children, spouse, job, some are even wishing they are in your shoes or condition. You can also turn on the television and see what others are experiencing globally. You might be surprised to know some are experiencing wars and earthquakes. The list is literally endless. So, this is me trying to encourage you to know that everyone is going through a different kind of secret frustration. However, if you feel you need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me via the contact below.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Bless the World to Receive More Blessings by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

While in college, I learnt one of the best skills in human relationship, and that’s communication. When you know how to communicate with the right words, you will literally get whatever you want in life. This is a universal principle.

Let me explain a little; when you pray the right way by using the right words your request will be given attention by God. As a man, when you have the right words for a lady, she’ll easily be attracted to you, especially if word affirmation is her love language; as an entrepreneur, if you can articulate a good proposal, you stand a better chance of getting a grant or funding for your business. As a student, if you can use the right diction, you stand a better chance of passing your exams.

According to Les Brown, if you want to succeed, you must change your mindset, practice only quality people and develop your communication skills because when you open your mouth to speak, you tell the world who you are. This goes to tell you communication is one of the most important skills if not the most important skill one needs in our contemporary society. Your ability to write and speak clearly will set you apart from your contemporaries.

Why is human relationship very important? Human beings are the people who will bless you. If you don’t have a good personal and professional relationship with people, it will be difficult to get whatever you want. Social skills is a currency, if properly utilized, one can attract goodwill. If you will agree with me, the joy of life is not how happy you are, but how happy others can be because of you. When you touch people selflessly, they will be attracted to you.

To receive blessing from anyone, you must have value. This value might be a service, a product or even an attitude. In our contemporary society, many people complain of lack as the reason they haven’t been able to make an impact in the world. These ignorant minds think money, connections, academic qualifications etc are necessary factors to attract influence and money in the society, yes, they are part of the requirements, but not necessarily the main substance.

There are certain qualities and values one can have that’s more valuable and important than money. A typical example is attitude. No matter how smart, connected, rich and resourceful one might be, if you have a funny or nasty attitude, no serious-minded person would take you seriously. According to Maya Angelou, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Everyone is blessed with a skill, talent/gift, or has some form of certificate. Even if you don’t have any, you have common sense, wisdom, humility, kindness, gratitude, loyalty, or a heart of volunteerism. When you showcase these traits to the right people with a genuine heart, there’s a tendency to attract opportunity because people see those who participate.

When you bless the world with what you have, the world will in turn bless you with money and opportunities. It’s instructive to note that no gift, skill, or virtue is more important than the other. What’s important is knowing how to make use of it.

In the business world, one must know what works for anyone to attract an opportunity. Did you know your humility, kindness, words, volunteerism, and honesty can make someone invest in you?

Most times, some uniformed minds complain of being poor. However, they fail to understand that if one doesn’t have money, the reason is often because he is not solving a problem, or not solving enough problems, or not solving the right problem or not solving problems for the right people.

Generally, we make money because we have something unique to offer to the world. So again, I will ask you, what do you have in your hands or personality to offer the world?

The major reason most people fail in life is because they don’t really discover themselves. Self-discovery is a life-long career because you can never fully comprehend yourself. When you discover who you are, your gift, talent, skill, and the academic qualification you have been blessed with, you will be properly positioned to bless others.

It should be noted that you can’t bless others if you haven’t been able to bless yourself. To know if one is blessed, investigate your life to see if you have received any form of favour from people; this favour might not necessarily be money, it can be opportunity or appreciation.

When people invest in you, it’s simply because they have seen value in you. Someone made the way for you by giving you an opportunity, the best you can do is to pay it forward by being a blessing to another person. Did you know you are blessed to bless other people? When you develop your skills, talents and gifts, the world will in turn celebrate you.

When you are good in what you do, people can see through you, especially when you are consistent for a just cause. When you solve a problem with your value, people notice. Your greatest gift to the world is to make an impact with what you have.

According to Hans Urs Von Balthasar, what you are is God’s gift to you, what you become is your gift to God.

In conclusion, I will strongly admonish you to stop complaining and start practicing gratitude with what your have. Let me ask you; are you a good singer, dancer, artist, footballer, athlete, writer, speaker, etc.? If yes, horn and develop them to the best of your ability, and see if the world won’t celebrate you. Trust me, there are literally people waiting to pay you for the gifts you are giving the world for free if only you know how to pitch your ideas to the right people, organizations in addition to monetizing it. Remember, the day you discover your gift, that’s the day you become a millionaire.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Identifying and Attracting Destiny Helpers by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

It is instructive to note that achieving success is impossible without strategic positioning or meeting the right people along life’s way. In the journey of life, everyone needs favour which can come from sheer luck, benefactors, friends, destiny helpers or even detractors. Yes, detractors! This is because detractors can assist you to unleash your potential due to their criticisms. Most times some uninformed minds think detractors hate them, but in reality, anyone we meet in life is for a purpose. Your duty is to figure out their purpose in your life and maximize it.

Every successful person has someone who assisted him or her. In every great man’s success story, there is usually one or two people whose impact made a huge difference and impact in their life.

Success has many relatives and concubines, as well as haters. One of the components of success is luck. Luck plays a critical role in life. In as much as one must prepare to take advantage of any opportunity, there are cases where luck just shows up for someone because the person was at the right place and at the right time. Either way, one must be prepared to receive the opportunity.

Favour is another ingredient and component of success. When one is favored, life will be literally easy because of the goodwill one will attract from the universe. One of the ways to know one is favored is by the influence of destiny helpers in his life.

Destiny helpers come in various ways. Your destiny helper might not necessarily be a billionaire; Chief Executive Officer, Governor, President, celebrity of an influential person in the world; your destiny helper can be your child, spouse, partner, friend, sibling, parent, mentee, mentor, teacher, or even a stranger. What’s important is your ability to know their mission and purpose in your life.

On a personal note, I have been blessed and favored to have amazing parents, siblings, friends, mentors, and detractors who helped me to unleash my potential. It will be a disservice to humanity if I fail to acknowledge the favours I have received in the journey of life because I didn’t really succeed on my own accord.

Sometimes in life, opportunities dress in various ways. Sometimes, it can dress like problems, sometimes, it can appear like challenges, betrayals, failures and life experience. In the same way, your destiny helper can wear a disguised uniform, and if one is not purposeful and intentional, the blessings may be lost.

To attract the blessings of destiny helpers, one must have value to offer. It’s one thing to have a resourceful person in your life, and another to manage friendships and relationships. No matter how blessed, favored and lucky you are, if you are not able to manage the people and resources at your disposal, you will lose them.

To understand how destiny helpers work, anytime you come across your destiny helper, you will not have to beg for anything because they know their role in your life. The person knows his assignment. This is generally true because anybody that wants to help or assist you will not wait for you to ask for assistance.

In as much as we all need destiny helpers and favour, the greatest destiny helper we need is from God. God can literally do for you what no one man can do for you. Sometimes, when men act like god, remind them in subtle ways; God is God and Lord of lords. God will not come down to assist you, He will use human beings to assist you. It’s however, sad to note that some humans are now playing god because they have positional authority.

What these uninformed minds fail to realize is that you will get what you want faster when you help other people to achieve what they want. If you have an assignment to be a blessing, why delay in executing it? The person you are helping today might turn around to bless you tomorrow, and when you fail to do the work you have been assigned to do, God will miraculously do it without you.

One may ask, who are destiny helpers? They are beings divinely and strategically positioned to help you arrive at your expected end. Destiny helpers are people who use their networks to open opportunities for you. Most times, we will never know who our destiny helpers are because they are people that don’t look like one.

According to Pastor Belinda, here are few ways to know who are destiny helpers to

1. Your destiny helper doesn’t have to be a blood relative.
2. Your destiny helper won’t necessarily look like you or talk like you.
3. Your destiny helper’s role may just be to speak for you until you can speak for yourself.

4. Your destiny helper may not even believe in what you believe in or share your values.

5. Sometimes, an enemy of progress can help your destiny helper.

6. Sometimes the destiny helper’s relationship isn’t what we expect, but God uses certain [unpleasant, incomprehensible] people and situations to elevate his children.

If I may ask, who is a destiny helper? A destiny helper does not necessarily need to know they are a destiny helper to you. They just live their life and do what they do naturally, but what they do has a significant impact on your journey which you might only realize after you reflect on your progress later.

According to Apostle Joshua Selman, there are four kinds of destiny helpers:

1. Burden Bearers

The first kind of destiny helper you need for extraordinary success in life is burden bearers. A burden bearer is someone who stays with you during difficult times and helps you with the situations you will naturally get overwhelmed by.Burden bearers can come in different forms. They can be a neighbor that helps take care of your children while your wife is sick and you’re juggling between jobs. It can be a relative that gives financial assistance from time to time until you are financially stable. The assignment of burden bearers is to save you from being overwhelmed.

If you don’t have people handling the little things for you, you might not have enough time, energy, and resources to focus on other aspects of the journey to success that cannot be  outsourced.

2. Gifted Men

Gifted men are destiny helpers that are very skilled and have abilities to create realities that you desire. You can have many burden bearers, but people can only give out what they have. You need destiny helpers who can do the things you need. For the success of your business, this gifted man can come as a cashier you employed but knows so much about digital marketing and branding. Their input, therefore, creates a new turn in the trajectory of your organization.

But gifted men are not limited to people with talent and skills. People with spiritual gifts and unusual graces are also destiny helpers you need. They can speak into your life and hasten your progress or create seasons that wouldn’t have come on their own.

They can impact you with gifts that will announce you to your world or overcome the challenges you are facing.

3. Men of Influence

The third kind of destiny helpers you need to reach great success in life are people of influence. They are the kings of the earth, men who have gotten extraordinary results in their field, and have earned the respect of their generation over time.

The names of these persons carry credibility that once they endorse or identify with you, their credibility is transferred to you. Men of access and influence can bring you into their harvest, and compress years of labour and sweat into a day.

You should understand that everything you desire and every level of success you are pressing toward in whatever field is someone’s current state and it takes them nothing to bring you to their level, and end all your struggles.

However, people do not just pay attention to you unless they’re attracted. For these destiny helpers as men of influence to help you, they must be attracted.

4. Divine Connectors

Divine connectors are the fourth destiny helpers you must have. Unlike the others, they do not necessarily possess skills and resources that can change your life or make things easier. But they can connect you to people who do.

Divine connectors are bridges between where you are and who can take you to where you want to be.

The ministry of divine connectors is one many miss out on because on the surface, they do not look like they can make any contribution. A divine connector can be the driver or house help of a great man you want to meet.

They can be the gateman of your dream organization. They may not be able to offer you an appointment letter, but they can speak about you to the CEO whom they have built a relationship with over the years.

One would think that since divine connectors have access to these people, they should be great themselves, but it isn’t always that way. They can be living fulfilling lives in their low estate. So, you must see beyond their appearance to the possibility within their influence.

In conclusion, as you journey through life, take time to know the people in your life and the role they play in your life. By doing so, you will understand how the favor of destiny helpers work, and if you can’t figure it out, pray to God to assist you in locating your destiny helpers. Once you find them, treasure them like precious and priceless diamonds.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Understanding the Power of Gratitude by Henry Ukazu

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Dear destiny Friends,

“Any day your gratitude is higher than your expectations, then that day can be described as good” – Kola Adesina

One of the best ways to achieve success is by practicing gratitude, which invariably is one of the greatest forms of appreciation. However, most people still don’t understand the power of appreciation. It is worthy of note that gratitude and appreciation are currencies which if properly utilized can attract abundant opportunities.

If there is one trait worth cultivating in life, it’s gratitude. Most of us see gratitude from the angle of favour, blessings, and opportunities. It’s important to note that we can be grateful for the pains, setbacks, challenges, betrayals, and failures we experience along the way because it helps us to see life from a different perspective.

It is also stated that we should always be grateful for what happened because if it didn’t happen, it may lead us to disaster. Afterall, every disappointment can be likened to a blessing. According to Oprah Winfrey “Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life.”

Gratitude is critical to one’s success.  If you want to be successful, start with gratitude. When you celebrate and appreciate people, success has a tendency of coming to you.

According to Doris Day “Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.” Rich people tend to be grateful for whatever they receive, but uniformed minds tend to take any little favour for granted. Their ignorance clouds their understanding that it’s from the little things that greater things come up.

In the journey of life, nobody succeeds alone, people help us along the way. We all had friends, mentors, partners, teachers, managers, professors, mentors, friends, and family who have helped us to figure out our path and helped us. It’s sad to see how ungrateful some people can be when they get to the top and they forget those who assisted them when they were down.

Sometimes some of us take time to show gratitude to our benefactors, strangers, friends, mentors etc. who have assisted us. Sometimes we even do it sluggishly.

According to James Allen “No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.” One might say, I have it in mind, I will reach out, but they fail to understand the words of Arthur Ward, that “feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it,”

There are many ways to practice gratitude –  You can practice gratitude by writing down the things you’re grateful for every morning. You can also be grateful for any little job you have. For instance, each time you open a door at your job, remind yourself that you’re grateful for your job, your co-workers, your customers, and clients.

Gratitude helps you appreciate your successes. When you take inventory of your path, you will discover how far you have come in life with the little steps and progress you have made overtime.

We all have many reasons to be grateful. Once you have the basic things of life like food, shelter and clothing, you are wealthy. Most people are, without mincing words, are very ungrateful; they always think of what they are lacking as opposed to what they have. For instance, you have a life while most people are breathing with the help of oxygen. Some people don’t have legs, hands, arms, or eyes, some are dealing with health challenges, some have no job, no academic qualification etc. The list is literally endless.

The moral here is that gratitude makes you understand you can’t have everything and as such you should be grateful for every little you have. Remember, everyone is dealing with a secret frustration.

Gratitude is not just saying thank you; anyone can say it. After all, most people say it as a reflext action without necessarily meaning it.

Real Gratitude has three components:

Don’t not complain about anything, no matter how similarly bad the situation is; be a love and value finder instead of a fault finder; and take nothing and no one for granted.

According to Jim Rohn, “Learn to be thankful for what you already have, while you pursue all that you want.”

When you are grateful, everything falls in place. Gratitude does not make anyone feel disappointed. If you are filled with gratitude, you’ll know human beings can be unpredictable and as such can disappoint.

Let me share a little story of how gratitude works. There was a story of two women who were begging for food on the street, a man saw them and gave them food and money, one of the women said ‘thank you so much’, while the other woman said thank you, prayed for the man, his family and business. Who do you think the man will support next time if he goes there? I guess the woman who prayed for the man.

That’s simply how gratitude works, when you truly appreciate people, they’ll go the extra way for you.

Ungrateful people are always bitter; they are always complaining. The only formula for success is gratitude. Everything else flows from it: love, contentment, humility, patience, etc. When you show gratitude to people, they have a way of blessing you with more favour and opportunities.

There are many benefits of practicing gratitude amongst which are: Grateful people achieve more; grateful people pay it forward; gratitude attracts goodwill and opportunity because it’s a currency; Grateful people get along better with others; Grateful people are less depressed. A grateful person never takes anything for granted because they knows nobody owes you anything.

It’s sad to note that some people, out of  ungratefulness, always focus on what’s wrong, or the negative experience they had with people, while grateful minds focus on the positive side of human beings and see the negative side as experience of life.

In conclusion, endeavor to start your day with gratitude, and end it with gratitude. You can do this by taking stock of the day’s activities. Be grateful for all that happened no matter how it played out. By doing so, you will learn from your failures, experience, trials, challenges, success, etc.

According to Maya Angelou, “Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer.”

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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