Greetings Destiny Friends,

The year is gradually coming to an end, and most people, organizations, companies, associations and countries are already taking stock of how they fared during the year. While some may have succeeded, others may have failed in some areas, but one thing is certain, they all had an experience and learned something. This experience can be negative or positive depending on whovwas involved.

It is important to note that great companies, organizations, families, schools, employees, artists, footballers and others did not become great overnight; they learnt from others, who are more knowledgeable and experienced thereby adding to their own knowledge. That explains why most times, people talk about role models and mentors. Role models and mentors are path-finders because they guide with both their theoretical and practical experiences. A philosopher once stated, that ‘if at all I have attained success, it is because I stood on the platform of those who have attained that height’. It’s instructive to know that great men have great habits.

As human beings, there are several things that make us happy. It can be family, friends, careers/vocations, finance, health, physique, or even relationship with one’s creator. Every human being, except for a sadist, likes to be happy. But even a sadist derives a certain level of joy and satisfaction when they cause other people pain. However, being happy takes a lot of time and resources. For instance, when one spends time with courses they like, they tend to be happier, and when one works hard to have a decent life and decides to give himself a good treat, happiness is bound to radiate in their hearts.

Did you know that one can attract happiness just by looking at the lifestyle of other people who are living happy lives? It’s just like one who wants to achieve success in a particular field, whether in marriage, business, leadership, career, personal development, health, finance, family or even spirituality. The best thing the person can do is learn from the person, who has succeeded in that area. According to a sage, “great minds have great habits, they carefully select their partners, a step into their life will make a difference in your life, absorb their tapes, read their books and you’ll be great like them”. This message is simply talking about modelling success.

Another message here is that everyone needs a success model to be successful. Nobody succeeds on their own. We all learnt from someone. Someone gave us an opportunity to succeed. We are not better than everyone. We are just lucky to strategically be in the right place, probably say the right thing, have the right product/service, or even have the opportunity of being recommended by a resource person. The reasons are numerous.

To succeed in life, we must model success. All around are people who have achieved the kind of success anyone desires. All that needs to be done is to go close to them by being intentional. Seek an opportunity to learn. A caveat however, is never approach with an opportunist’s mindset.

Even if they are not in your field of study, look for avenues to get their attention. You can decide to get them a gift, study their work online and engage with them. Associate with their friends or anyone who knows or has access to them. If you have an opportunity, attend any event they might be attending or even speaking, endeavor to show up because one’s presence speaks loud. It could be the defining moment.

I can’t over emphasize the importance of modelling success. A lot of time, success doesn’t come to one, it created. People must endeavor to create the world they want to live, and by so doing, create their own success. Personally, I have modelled success in several ways. Whether I am in church, at work, school, or social gathering, I try to speak the language of my environment and project the message I want my perceived audience to get.

It’s disheartening to see people who complain and weep like Prophet Jeremiah and do literally nothing to help their life. It’s instructive to note that nobody will save you; you must save yourself. It’s only when you have helped yourself that help will locate you. It’s generally stated that heaven help those who help themselves’.

Let me share a practical example of how this works. I vividly remember when I was working on my first book. In all sincerity, I didn’t know what I was writing, I just flowed with whatever came to my mind. By the time I was done, I had a hard time editing and publishing it due to limited funds, but the universe was kind enough to bring destiny helpers to support me, and today, the book is a recipe for modelling success.

In conclusion, decide today to adopt the strength and strategies of your perceived role models. If you can’t have much personal contact with them, read their books listen to their tapes and attend their speaking engagements. Appreciate them through your note, test messages, or support their work. Trust me, they’ll notice and reach out.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

One of the most unpredictable entitles in life is time. Yes, time is very unpredictable if considering its true essence.

Did you know that time heals? No matter what may have happened during one’s lifetime, the pain, no matter how great, will fizzle out with time, and life will move on. However, one’s strength and capacity for endurance will also be tested. Have you ever lost a loved one and think you will cry forever? Well, a time will come when you will completely adjust, and only miss the person when certain realities set in.

Has anyone offended you, and you think you can’t forgive? Well, if the principle of time heals and reveals, are applied, it will get to a stage, where they would automatically heal, and move on, especially in matters of the heart and relationship.

Have you also ever been betrayed? If yes, just give it little time because at the appointed time, the truth will be unraveled because time will definitely reveal itself. According to a sage, no matter how long it may take, the truth will always triumph over lie because truth is an open wound which only conscience can heal.

Why am I saying this? I have come to realize that in the journey of life, nothing lasts forever. While some people feel they have it together, they fail to understand that what they have is temporary because even their life is not guaranteed. According to Dr. Dele Momodu, an accomplished journalist, “the child of a certified pauper can become a man of means tomorrow if properly educated”.

Life has a way of humbling and elevating people, that’s why it’s always good for one to be humble before life humbles them. I once had a conversation with one of my revered mentors whom I call the sage. He shared a lesson which I won’t forget in a jiffy. We attended a burial ceremony, and I observed that the family members of the deceased were mourning bitterly. He said, “Henry, do you know why the family members are weeping profusely? I said it’s because they lost a loved one who might be the breadwinner of the family, the peacemaker or even the most resourceful person with the touch of favor and grace to get anything done.

He said, all my reasons were valid, but one thing is certain, the person won’t be replaced again because there’s no one like him and there will never be anyone like him. He went further to say, the only solace the family and friends will have is the legacy and impact he has made in the lives of those he touched.

I paused for a minute to think about what he had just said, and it was only then that it occurred to me that a vacuum had been created. While I was pondering over what he said, he dropped another bomb. He said, ‘Henry, did you see that man lying lifeless on the ground?’ I said, ‘yes sir’. He said, ‘do you know what that means?’ I said no. He said, the dead man is saying, ‘I am here today and you will be here tomorrow’. In all honesty and sincerity, those words hit me real hard. My mentor went on to say, what the dead man is actually saying is that as you leave this place today, go and make peace with everyone, but more importantly make an impact in the lives of people.

While I was still processing what my mentor said, he added, let me tell you while I invited you to attend this burial. He said, everyone who attended this funeral will move on after the burial ceremony, and what will be left of the deceased is a memory. You see, regardless of the ovation he accrued when he was alive, everything will be history. That statement  really hit me hard, and that’s so true because life will always move on regardless of what happens, so it makes no sense for one to try to impress someone. Just do the best you can and then move on. The moral here is that nobody is indispensable no matter how good they are.

When we juxtapose this with the reality of life, we’ll realize that life is very simple, it’s us humans that make it difficult. Did you know that no matter how rich, valuable, resourceful, wealthy or famous one is, when the person is no longer available, they might not really be missed that much, because people will move on to the next person within a short period of time.

Let’s take a case study of a celebrity, who shares an update online. The post might trend for sometime and after a while the ovation will cease, and people will move to the next breaking news or update. The same is applicable to a tweet or post someone makes on social media. The post might gain some traction, but after a few hours or days, the story will be over. People will move on to the next post. Such is life.

The hidden truth about life is that life will move regardless of how one plans it. People will move on, companies will move on, parents, friends, siblings, and even detractors will move on to the next target. So, it makes no sense for one to try to please everyone.

According to Elbert Hubbard, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” This literally means human beings are insatiable by nature; you can’t please them.

So, as one journeys through life, it’s always important for one to figure out what’s relevant and what’s not relevant and then decide what is the best use for your time at any point in time.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

The ability to speak the ‘language’ people understand is a very important skill, and whoever masters it, has gained a profitable advantage. The ability therefore, to strategically use language can be a game changer in life and business. In all honesty, anyone, who can relate to the act of speaking languages people understand, stands a better chance of attracting more opportunities. Language is a skill; the more the skill a person has, the more resourceful they will be.

Every business, politics, game, religion, relationship/marriage, and art have a language. Even a little child has a language. One must be able to speak the language of that child to work with the child. The ability of one to use it very well can be a game changer.

There’s no field or subject in life that is not governed by its own language. The language is the code or key, which when rightly used or applied, any door opens.

Let’s take a case study of marriage; the truth is there’s no perfect marriage anywhere, the love the couples claim to share notwithstanding. There will come a day when either one of them will lose it, and the hormones will flare up. The ability of one of the couples to speak the language the other person understands can calm the nerves of the other. The inability of one to speak the right language can make things go out of hand.

Certain things work for certain people. Everyone is different and unique; what works for someone might not work for another person. So, the ability to know what works for someone and judiciously use it has the potential of opening doors and opportunity because, according to my late mother, human beings are the most difficult people to work with.

In business, if one is seeking a grant or opportunity from an investor, one must be able to speak or convey his thought in an appealing way in such a way the investor will find it attractive. And that entails putting down certain information that is needed for a proposal to receive a positive recommendation. This is not about trying to fake life, rather, it’s a strategic and wise way of showing how informed and proactive one can be.

Let’s take a case study of human attraction. For any man to successfully woo a lady, he must speak or act in a certain way that the lady finds appealing, and that entails having a good dress sense, having the fear of God, being financially and professionally stable, showing care and empathy, amongst other  qualities. The same is applicable to a woman who wants to attract a man, she must be able to ‘speak’ the man’s language.

In politics, the language is loyalty. It’s only an ungrateful master who wouldn’t want to appreciate a loyal servant who has served him faithfully when an opportunity arises.

The importance of language in life cannot be overemphasized. When it comes to spirituality, certain offerings work for certain gods, or God. To benefit from your altar, one must speak the language of their god/God. For instance, those who offer sacrifice to fake deities must continually offer sacrifice in order for their “powers” to be renewed. The same is applicable to those who believe in the one true God, one must continually abstain from immorality and vices in order to receive blessings from Him.

In summary, if you want to succeed in life, endeavour to find out what language works for anyone or any industry. And when it is found, and worked on, the doors must surely open.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com