Connect with us

Headline

Opinion: A Gentle Reminder To Men On “40 Seconds” & Other Matters

Published

on

By Emeka Oparah

Like most men, I have laughed, cried and thought about the little matter of “40 Seconds” making the rounds. I am frankly not interested in the particular story, strictly speaking. I’d rather the lady and the gentleman sorted their issues privately. My concern here is about the many threats men generally face in the course of trying to satisfy women, including their spouses, mothers, daughters, sisters and girlfriends, as the case may be.

As a responsible husband, father, son, brother and uncle and so many other things to so many people, I sincerely do not have any problem with looking after the women in my life or living up to my responsibilities to them, but putting myself under so much pressure to the extent of falling sick, losing my mind or losing my life earlier than my Maker may have planned for me is a no-no. And I wouldn’t want any brother to be messed up hence this gospel.

Recently, I preached a widely circulated (and I believe also widely accepted) sermon directed at the menfolk in which I urged them to make out time to look after themselves too-given the life expectancy imbalance skewed heavily in favor of women particularly in Nigeria. Some courageous men openly commended the gospel and went further to share it while the cowardly ones simply kept mute or shared it without a word-ostensibly to avoid being thrown out of their homes (which could even complicate their matter and hasten their departure to the great beyond, which is the issue at hand).

Just so we can get to the kernel of this message more quickly, please permit me to use “40 Seconds” as a euphemism for sex. If I have your permission and attention, then, let me tell you the story of a very hilarious encounter I had with a Medical Doctor in Ghana about 5 years ago. Dr. Dick (because his first name is Richard) and I met in a Chinese restaurant in Accra, where he was giving one of the waiters a dressing down for exaggerating his bill. I was forced to abandon my delicious sweet and sour soup to intervene lest the disagreement degenerated into fisticuffs. To cut this part of the story short, we became friends and I took note of the buxomly (very gifted) pretty lady he had in tow who was smiling rather lasciviously and teased him to “take it easy tonight O!” His response got me: “For what na? Will they give me an award?”

Now, to the main story. Dr. Dick and I met up at breakfast the next day being resident in the same hotel and I mischievously asked him: “How was your night, Doc?” After a proud and boisterous laughter suggestive of a very good night indeed (and he thankfully spared me the details), he launched into a very hilarious yet revealing and educative lecture on men, sex and death. Trust me, gentlemen, I was all ears. I give it to you in strong terms of recommendation to also pay attention here.

According to Dr. Dick, and I won’t be surprised if you already know, over 50% of sudden deaths or CVAs suffered by men 50 years and above happen during sex! Chisos! Yes, that was his statement, exactly. And here is how he arrived at his scary hypothesis: As men hit 50 and above, their libido begins to flounder and some of them begin to ponder. Men being generally impressionistic in such matters begin to think more from their hequipments than their heads. And so, they start to figuratively and suddenly “live well, eat healthy and do whatever it takes to stay active”. Brethren, I tell you, very often, men at that age overreach themselves. He also informed me that a man’s blood pressure could hit 150/90 or more during orgasm. I didn’t know before. How could I have known such a sweaty, troubling fact? And this is where wahala starts.

It is not unusual for men to get into action having had some alcohol (plus some energy drink-a stupid combination) or Alomo Bitters or other aphrodisiacs including Viagra. Most times, these men do not know the condition of their hearts having never had an ECG or even checked their blood pressure. Along the line or at the end of the “line”, if you get what I mean, some of them fail to recover or lapse into a heart attack or stroke or even die, for very unlucky ones in extreme circumstances. If the woman is a wife, she would tidy up before raising the alarm to avoid embarrassing herself and her husband. If she’s not the wife, she will probably call a friend for guidance before contacting the hotel (if they are in a hotel or guest house). Some will simply disappear! And the poor man’s condition could deteriorate to death. Many a time and oft, we read of people who were found dead in their hotel rooms alone. Who knows! It could be this or other things.

Many men have been killed or permanently injured in these aforementioned inglorious circumstances. Of course, you wouldn’t expect either Madam or the man to confess openly what really transpired, that is, if he survives. So, it’s definitely going to stay and die between the man and the woman and perhaps their doctor. A friend once confided in me how he suffered a slipped disk in the course of apparently aggressive “action”. He spent over 6 months in an orthopedic Hospital, while his sad and sorry wife never tried getting on top of things ever again-if you get my drift. Wink. Wink.

Guys, what is this thing with us and sex? As many have so brilliantly stated, many babies are made in “40 seconds” or even less. So, “40 second” is just enough. While that may be a joke (yes, it’s a joke, please!!!) there is nothing in Cherubim & Seraphim Church that should make us break our hands (apologies to adherents of this great religious group for this old village joke). I don’t understand why there’s so much attention to and effort in sex nowadays. Just negodu the sudden rise in the manufacture, sale and consumption of drinks, foods and drugs which purport to enhance sexual performance. Haven’t you also noticed the rise in sex-promoting music and sex-promoting apparels including fake butts, fake boobs and even fake camel toes!!!

Men, please be careful, very careful. Also be fearful of this dangerous trend or idea of always wanting to prove your sexual prowess. We have so many more important fishes to fry than sex. We are dying faster than our wives and sisters. It is not a competition, I must admit. I also do not want to blame the womenfolk too much for our discouraging predicament. Yet, I need not here dilate on the excellencies of men striving to stay alive longer. We are already doing too much in addition to being mostly older than our wives, and so on and so forth. This needless quest for sex and the urge to prove ourselves in “za ozza room” is killing us-and further driving down our already precarious life expectancy. Brethren, be wise! Or be snookered!!!

Postscript: By the way, one elder once asked me to investigate how many man hours billionaires like Aliko Dangote, Tony Elumelu, Jim Ovia, Femi Otedola, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, etc (not rich politicians) invested in sex and associated businesses. My jurors are still out. 😂😂😂

Emeka Oparah wrote this on his facebook page.He is Vice President, Airtel Nigeria

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Headline

2027: ADC Draws Battleline Against Tinubu’s APC

Published

on

By

By Eric Elezuo

“We will work in concert with other leaders of the opposition and Nigerians to chase the APC out of government” – Atiku Abubakar 

The permutations that had made the rounds regarding the invincibility of President Bola Tinubu and his All Progressives Congress (APC) as the 2027 Presidential Election approaches, have taken a major shift with the recent alliances and reinvestments in the new coalition party, the African Democratic Congress (ADC).

Only last week, a chieftain of the ADC, Chief Dele Momodu, aroused attention of the public towards the party, with his much celebrated officially and formal declaration of membership of the party in Benin City, Edo State. The event was attended by party stakeholders in the state, and was adjudged as a huge as it created the desired awareness of the party presence in the APC controlled state.

Earlier, the former Governor of Anambra State, who was the presidential candidate of the Labour Party in the 2023 elections, Mr. Peter Obi, had moved to the coalition ADC, in another elaborate ceremony held in Enugu, in what analysts and observers describe as strategic, and one of the most important alliances the party has enjoyed since its expanded emergennce many months ago.

While many believe that the moves may have sent jitters to the camp of the APC, and continue to pave for the democratic removal of Tinubu and the APC from office, the ruling part remains offbeat, raveling in the euphoria of so far amassing and harvesting 28 out of the 36 state governors in the Federation, and still counting.

But the ADC is unwavering in its efforts to see Tinubu out, much as the ruling party is stone-solid certain of retaining power in 2027, the much awaited battleline has then been drawn between the now two major political parties in the country.

If there’s one good thing so far the ADC has done to and for Nigerians in this dispensation, it’s their ability to truncate the government’s alleged ambition of reducing the country to a one-party state. This notion was fueled by the malformed shape the two former frontline parties; the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) and the Labour Party have taken in recent times. None of the two parties can boost of an appropriate Executive Council or Working Committee, making it practically impossible for any aspirant to seek political position through those parties. This has led to the massive defections of politicians to the APC of governors, senators, representatives and other wannabe office holders.

This credit has gone to the likes of former Vice President Atiku Abubakar, former Anambra State Governor, Peter Obi, former Senate President David Mark, former Osun State Governor Rauf Aregbesola and a host of others, who in their words felt the need to ‘rescue’ Nigeria and Nigerians from the shackles of misrule and one-party inclination of the APC.

The ADC’s heighened readiness to contend the seat of Aso Rock against the APC and Tinubu, is made more more manifest in the recent interview granted by the party’s spokesperson, Mallam Baji Abdullahi, on Channels Television, where he noted that the only way Nigeria can overcome its current challenges is to remove President Bola Tinubu in 2027, describing in vivid colours with copious evidences the objective to remove the president from power as a necessary step towards rescuing Nigeria from an unprecedented governance crisis.

Insisting that Nigeria has been hijacked, Abdullahi accused the Tinubu-led government of carelessness in the affairs and living conditions of Nigerians, and the state governors for failing to improve Nigerians’ livelihoods despite receiving larger allocations from the federal government.

He further accused the government of prioritizing stranglehold on power rather than governance with a human face, saying those and more are the reasons Nigerians will shun the party, and embrace ADC in 2027.

“It’s solely to get Tinubu out of power. There is no scenario where he remains in power, and we can save this country. When people say you can smash it, grab it, and run with it, that is the language of banditry”.

Abdullahi, who himself, had been in the corridors of power as a minister, stressed that the atrocities of the present administration is enough for Nigerians to show them the way out in 2027, with ADC providing the platform, just as he raised concerns about allegations of legislative manipulation, particularly regarding tax laws, and the hiring of lobbyists at a whooping sum of $9 million, describing those and other recent events as unprecedented in Nigeria’s democratic history.

“A government that can forge a duly passed law; what do you call that?” he asked.

Speaking on the federal government’s reported payment of $9 million to foreign lobbyists in the United States, allegedly to improve Nigeria’s image before American political leaders, including President Donald Trump, Abdullahi said he had reviewed documents and found no transparency model or legal basis for the process.

“Is it a bad thing to lobby? No, it’s not a bad thing. But what they are doing, number one, I don’t even want to go into all the processes.

“How was this contract awarded? How was the money paid? Who paid the money? What budget line was it taken from? How was the money transferred out of Nigeria? he asked.

He argued that the expenditure revealed misplaced priorities.

“If you invest nine million dollars in internal security, you will see results. You won’t have to convince the president of another country that your country is safe,” he added.

“Instead, he accused the government of caring more about appearances before foreign audiences than about the daily insecurity faced by Nigerians.”

“They don’t care whether Nigerians are still dying. They don’t care that people are still being killed. They want to look good before Americans,” Abdullahi said.

The ADC spokesperson also expressed alarm over a recently signed medical memorandum of understanding (MOU) between Nigeria and the United States.
According to him, the agreement, reportedly signed around December 19, grants the US significant control over how funds are spent, including determining the regions that would benefit, despite Nigeria contributing more financially.

“No Nigerians have seen the details of this MOU,” he said, describing the terms as “shocking” while raising questions about sovereignty and accountability.

Abdullahi accused state governors of failing to improve Nigerians’ livelihoods despite receiving larger allocations from the federal government.

He noted that with the removal of fuel subsidy, Nigerian governors have more money in their coffers but have not done much with it.

“The governors, by their own, by the president’s own declaration, he has given more money to the governors than maybe any president has ever given to governors in our history. And how has that reflected in the improved livelihood of the people in the states?” the ADC spokesman asked.

“I’m not saying all of them are bad, but what I’m saying is that they have received more money than any other generation of governors have received in the history of this country,” the former minister said.

“You can say devaluation. The reason we have more money going to the states is that they removed subsidies, and that money is now going to them. In what way has that reflected a better life for the people in the states?” he queried.

But with only eight governors in ‘fragile’ opposition against Tinubu, the APC has dismissed ADC’s efforts as a waste of time. They have noted that the eight opposition governors, are only so in name, at least majority of them.

In Anambra State, where Prof Charles Soludo is the governor, the government has consistently lauded Tinubu, canvassed for his reelection, and even derided the ambition of one of their own, Mr. Peter Obi.

In Kano State, it is just a matter of time before the NNPP governor defects to the APC as he has practically severed relationship with his mentor, Rabiu Kwankwaso, and entered into a new romance with Tinubu’s APC.

And with the barage of attacks being faced by the Abia State governor Alex Otti, from opposition elements including the three governors before him; Orji Uzo Kalu, Theodore Orji and Okezie Ikpeazu, Deputy Speaker of the House of Representatives, Benjamin Kalu and other fractions of opposition voices, observers say Otti buckle, and join the fray. However, the support of Abia citizens has been overwhelming, and appears enough to see the governor through another in 2027.

It is also believed that except Seyi Makinde of Oyo State is on the ballot paper, his loyalty is likely to go to Tinubu, a ‘Yoruba man’ if the revelations of former Ekiti State governor, Ayo Fayose, is anything to hold on to.

As for the Osun State Governor, Ademola Adeleke; if not that his defection to the APC was thwarted by elements that do not like his face in the party, he would have been in APC today, and singing the reelection song of Tinubu. He is in Accord Party, and is still keeping his presidential allegiance close to his chest.

Bauchi State governor Bala Mohammed is presently been haunted by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), and a dramatic move to Tinubu’s side may erased whatever corrupt case allegations against. Adams Oshiomhole was once quoted as saying that ‘once you join the APC, your sins are forgiven’.

In a Premium Times report, and quoting the National President, Campaign for Democracy (CD), Ifeanyi Odili, the issue of Nigeria sliding into one-party state appears real

“With several governors joining the APC, the party now controls about 28 out of 36 states, leaving four for PDP, one for APGA, one for NNPP, and one for Accord. Abuja’s status is uncertain with (FCT Minister Nyesom) Wike’s influence.”

“This trend has sparked fears that Nigeria’s democracy is being undermined, as a weak opposition can lead to a lack of accountability and checks on the ruling party,” Odili said.

But the ADC has said that its emergence has changed all the talks about one-party agenda as more Nigerians are proudly queuing behind the party.

But beyond rhetoric, the battleline appears to be a very long one because in the words of Dele Momodu, ‘Tinubu has already locked down the south, and therefore, ADC needs someone with the capacity to lock down the north if tangible can be made.

Nigerians variously have asked that if the ADC is really serious about dislodged Tinubu and the APC in 2027, their two biggest talisman, Atiku and Obi, must develop a healthy collaboration, where whomever emerges as the candidate of the party later in the year, must enjoy the unalloyed support of the others.

The coming together of the two political heavyweights has obviously boosted the party’s and coalition’s political strength, the players and their supporters must not allow it become a weakness or spell its doom

So, with the two frontline leaders yet to agree on who steps down for the other so that a formidable force could be forged against Tinubu and his APC family, all eyes are therefore, on the fast approaching primary election expected to some time this year.

It is no longer a case of who crosses the battleline first, it is a case of who has a more superior firing power in terms of reach, history, achievement, and not forgetting financial muscle, that will carry the day.

ADC says it is ready! APC says it is ready!! Time, and the people will tell!!!

 

Continue Reading

Headline

Undeclared $40k: Supreme Court Upholds Conviction of Ex-Gov Lamido’s Son

Published

on

By

The Supreme Court has dismissed the appeal of the son of a former Jigawa State governor, challenging the decision of the trial court, which convicted him for failing to declare $40,000 at Kano airport.

In a unanimous decision, the apex court panel dismissed the appeal of Aminu Sule Lamido, the son of former governor Sule Lamido, for lack of merit.

Operatives of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) arrested Aminu on December 11, 2012, at the Mallam Aminu Kano International Airport while preparing to travel to Cairo, Egypt.

The prosecution said Aminu declared $10,000 to the Nigeria Customs Service (NCS), but was found with an additional $40,000, which was not disclosed on his currency declaration form.

The EFCC charged him before the Federal High Court in Kano on a one-count offence of false declaration of foreign currency, contrary to provisions of the Money Laundering (Prohibition) Act.

On July 12, 2015, the court convicted Aminu and ordered him to forfeit 25 per cent of the undeclared sum to the Federal government.

Dissatisfied with the ruling, Aminu approached the Court of Appeal in Kaduna to overturn the conviction and set aside the forfeiture order.

In a judgment delivered on December 7, 2015, however, the Court of Appeal dismissed the appeal.

Meanwhile, the Supreme Court has ordered that the trial of former governor Lamido, his two sons, and others, over alleged N1.35billion fraud, should continue before the Federal High Court in Abuja.

A five-member panel of the apex court issued the directive in two unanimous judgments, in the two appeals filed by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC).

The Supreme Court upheld the decision of the trial court, which dismissed the no-case submission filed by the Lamidos and held that the defendants had a case to answer.

Both appeals were against the July 25, 2023, judgments of the Court of Appeal in Abuja, which upheld the no-case submission made by Lamido and others and struck out the 37-count charge on which they were being prosecuted, on the grounds that the Federal High Court in Abuja lacked the jurisdiction to hear the case.

In the lead judgments of the Supreme Court, Justice Abubakar Umar set aside the July 25, 2023 judgments of the Court of Appeal and affirmed the earlier decision by Justice Ijeoma Ojukwu of the Federal High Court, Abuja, which overruled the no-case submissions by Lamido and others and ordered them to enter their defence.

The EFCC, in the 37-count charge, among others, accused Lamido of abusing his position as a governor between 2007 and 2015, allegedly laundering sums of money received as kickbacks from companies that were awarded contracts by the Jigawa State Government under his leadership.

The other defendants charged alongside Lamido are his two sons – Aminu and Mustapha; Aminu Wada Abubakar and their companies – Bamaina Holdings Ltd and Speeds International Ltd.

Continue Reading

Headline

Badagry Mourns Passage of Oba Akran Amid Sobriety, Restriction of Movement

Published

on

By

Badagry, a historic coastal town renowned for its rich cultural heritage, was on Monday enveloped in a sombre and brooding mood following the passing of its 89-year-old monarch, De Wheno Aholu Menu-Toyi I, the Akran of Badagry.

The revered monarch, who reigned for 48 years, was a towering figure in the history and development of the ancient coastal town.

He was a journalist before ascending the throne of his forefathers on April 23, 1977.

His long reign was marked by peace, unity and steady community development across Badagry and its environs.

As Permanent Vice-Chairman of the Lagos State Council of Obas and Chiefs, his counsel and leadership carried significant influence within traditional institutions across the State.

He was widely respected as a devoted custodian of Ogu culture and tradition, as well as a passionate advocate for the welfare of his people.

From the early hours of Monday, an unusual calm descended on the ancient kingdom as residents struggled to come to terms with the loss of their traditional ruler.

Markets that normally buzz with activities witnessed low patronage, while groups of residents gathered sparsely in streets and compounds, exchanging restrained conversations.

At the Akran’s palace, it was learnt that the atmosphere was pensive as chiefs and community leaders’ showed grief.

There were restrictions on vehicular movements around the palace vicinity with some sections of the road leading to the place barricaded. Commuters were said to be directed to take alternative routes.

Sources said the traditional worshippers may have started observing rites necessitated by the demise of the monarch. Security and palace officials were seen restricting movement in the immediate vicinity.

Residents said the rites would affect social and commercial activities around the palace and may force many residents especially those working outside Badagry to return home early.

Many residents described the late Akran as a symbol of unity, stability and cultural pride for Badagry. They recalled his role in preserving the town’s customs and mediating communal disputes, while youths spoke of a monarch who encouraged peace and respect for tradition amid modern challenges.

According to the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN), some sons and daughters of the late king were at the palace, with some seen openly weeping.

A traditional chief, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the Akran passed on at about 1:30 am, but confirmation of his death was made at about 5:30 am.

“The Chairman of Badagry Local Government Area, Babatunde Hunpe, has been informed, and we hope he will relay the information to Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu for an official announcement.

“That is why many of us are seated here at the palace to receive visitors. The Akran has gone to rest with his great ancestors,” he said.

Continue Reading

Trending