By Babatunde Jose

“Sorrow is part of the earth’s great cycles, flowing into the night like cool air sinking down a river course.

To feel sorry is to float on the pulse of the heart, the surge from living to dying, from coming to being to ceasing to exist. Maybe this is why the earth has the power over time to wash sorrow into a deeper pool, cold and shadowed. And maybe this is why, even though sorrow never disappears, it can make a deeper connection to the currents of life and so connect somehow, to sources of wonder and solace.” – Kathleen Dean Moore

Reflecting on the inevitability of our death can help us snap out of the trance of taking the beauty and wonder of life and the universe for granted. It’s easy to put our heads down and focus on what’s in front of us, but memento mori can help us tune back into the astonishing beauty and majesty of life.

Death brings suffering to the body, the heart, and the mind. Therefore, the progressing loss of a loved one brings sadness, often despair and a deep pain which we wish to acknowledge for all who have loved another.

Death teaches us about the finiteness of life and time, and that the longer we continue to hold onto our past, the longer we continue to be burdened by things that will soon hold no value for us.

Death at root is a separation. In humans, it’s what happens when the physical body and the immaterial part of us (called the spirit or soul) separate. As James 2:26 puts it, “The body without the spirit is dead.” When people we love die, the rest of us feel separation too.

“When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.”

The Book of Maccabees says that it’s a healthy thing to pray for the dead and that, every so often, it’s healthy too to think about death, both by remembering those who have died and by contemplating the reality and certainty of our own deaths.

It was late Bob Marley who said ‘Good friends we have, oh, good friends we’ve lost, Along the way. In this great future, you can’t forget your past; So dry your tears, I say,  ..No, woman, no cry.

And indeed, there were good friends we had and good friends we lost, along the way in this journey called life. Reminiscing over these losses brings sweet and sad memories.

Among those good friends were Sikiru Akinpelu who died shortly after I returned from Port Harcourt, in the late seventies; Yemi Bakare a very good friend, (gone but not forgotten). And Isiaka Allison (Soku) with whom we rocked not only in Lagos but later in Manchester and then back to Lagos till he died shortly after his 70^th birthday.

Professor Lateef Hussein and I were in UI and later in Manchester. He lived not far from my house in Charlton-Cum-Hardy, and we shared many evenings together. That friendship was continued when we both came back home, and he later became VC LASU. A gifted Quranic scholar and very jovial fellow, the Prof was an Abibu Oluwa fan till the end. We still miss him. May Allah grant them all, Jannatul Firdous.

In the university days, many friends were made in Great Ife courtesy of my frequent visits to my bosom friend DelFaj.  It was at Ife I met Onome Ibru whose death in an accident on the Lagos Ibadan Road brough untold grief and sadness to us.

Another friend at Ife was Doyin Akinyosotu (Tenko Lash, Aladan) who later became Chairman of the Ifesowapo local government at Ile Oluji, in Ondo State. He later died of cirrhosis of the liver.

Another Ife friend was the unbreakable Akin Fashakin, who passed away under mysterious circumstances in Lagos about 30 years ago. I used to enjoy his company during my many visits to Kano where he lived. But all that is now in the realm of reminiscences.

How can I forget Bob, (Ade Bombers), my friend, partner in crime and In-Law, Ade Owolade? From Ibadan to Swaziland and South Africa. The Hugh Masekela DVD (Time) he gave me is still much cherished. Ade died in a Pretoria hospital in 2005. May his soul continue to rest in peace. He was not only my in-law but ‘my cousin’, which was how we introduced ourselves to others.

Another good friend we had and lost was indomitable Dele Adeola, a very sociable and dependable friend. I remember the New Year parties in his place, our occasional lunch and travels to Ondo, Dubai, and many other places.

In that same group were Joe Alagbe, former Provost Marshal of the Air Force, Air Marshal Ibrahim Alfa and lately AVM Atto, who at a time succeeded Alagbe as Provost Marshal. All gentlemen officers. The Allen Avenue days will forever remain fresh. There was also our very own, Popo Akinyanju, a gentleman per excellence.

This reminiscences are by no means exhaustive. In the London scene were Ademola Elegbege, his wife Joko and then Dotun Animashaun (Ani Bongolo), Wasiu Elegbege (Ejo), Demola Bamgbala, Uncle Femi Ajasa in whose place late Yemisi, my life-long friend and companion, stayed on Blackstock Road N4, by the old Arsenal Stadium and his friend Mr. Ojobara (Mr. Baro). May their souls rest in peace. Lest we forget, Peju Odunsi of Chelmsford (Sister Donohue). Those were the good days.

Recently we lost Mustapha Abiodun Bashua, Wasiu Masha, Tunde Goodluck (Goodie), all of Ahmadiyya, Eleyele, Ibadan. Olu Dada and Damola Oluwole and before them Segun Adebo, Mexico, Tunde Alabi (Banana), Sola Odunubi, and of course, Toyin Ojibara.

Modele Williams, our very own ‘Emperor Modus’. Senator Muniru Muse, my friend, and prayers partner, every Juma’at for many years. And my inimitable Veronica Chaka, an Amazon, secretary, and convenor of our monthly Bosnia nights.

Demola and Tunde Fagbayi (Engine); unforgettable boat rides to Ilashe, Tarkwa, and the skiing, fishing, and overnight escapades at Tarkwa Bay. In this, we must not forget Segun Adesanya, my paddy man of blessed memory. And later his brother Femi.

In UI: Never to be forgotten Tunji Alamutu, my mentor; Tunji Awobadejo; my roommate, brother and friend, John Azukaego Jideonwo; Tunde Oloyede, Sir Tune. Soji Osoyintuyi, Rufai Ibrahim, all ‘Great Independents’ and our PRO, Yakubu Abdul-Azeez. Another classmate we lost was Professor Shina Sambo (Sambele).

My lecturer and friend who was instrumental in my going to Manchester, Dr Ajibola, ‘People’s Ajibs’. Unfortunately, he had died in an accident by the time I returned from Manchester. May his fiery soul rest in peace.

Lest we forget Tunde Adeyemi of Temples and Golders, late of Itamogiri, Ijebu-Mushin.

And of course, my cousin, Captain Tunde Ashafa. Definitely, not many of us are left.

We need to reflect and take good care of what is left, so that we may not be in loss. The Quran said, Wal‘aṣr, ’innal ’insāna lafī khusr(in) , ’il-la l-lzīna ’āmanū wa‘amilu ṣ-ṣāliḥāti watawāṣaw bilḥaq-qi watawāṣaw biṣ-ṣabr: 1. By (the Token of) Time (through the Ages), 2. Verily Man is in loss, 3. Except such as have Faith, And do righteous deeds, And (join together) In the mutual teaching Of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy. (Quran 103)

Our being is bound by time from birth to death. Reflect on death, remind yourself that you have a limited (even shorter than you think) time on this planet.

Philosophy itself is, in fact, a kind of “training for dying”, a purification of the philosopher’s soul from its bodily attachment. Thus, Socrates concludes, it would be unreasonable for a philosopher to fear death, since upon dying he is most likely to obtain the wisdom which he has been seeking his whole life.

According to an even more extreme view, life is made more meaningful by the recognition that it will end with death. According to this view, we gain a deeper appreciation for the common satisfactions of our everyday experience when we fully realize that someday we will die and will then have nothing at all.

In a sense, death is the ultimate purveyor of perspective. It helps us see trivial things for what they are—and face up to the fact that much of what we worry about and consume ourselves with isn’t so important after all. Reflecting on death can help us stop fretting about things that are outside our control.

Death is repeatedly compared with sleep, which is at times described as “the little death.” It is Allah that takes the souls (of men) at death; and those that die not (He takes) during their sleep: Those on whom He has passed the decree of death, He keeps back (from returning to life), but the rest He sends (to their bodies) for a term appointed. Verily in this are Signs for those who reflect. (Quran 39:42).

Death can come any minute; as a Muslim, live every moment in your life as if it’s the last, live with faith, hope, preparation, and bear in mind that there is no time for later.

Pray as if it’s your last time, read Qur’an as if it’s your last time reading it, worship your Lord as if it’s your last chance, cause one day, most certainly, it will be your last day!

Honest prayer can help us walk that tightrope and honest prayer is what we do when we can bring ourselves naked before God, unprotected by what we do, by what we own, by what we have achieved, and by anything else we have to fend off loneliness, fear, and death. In honest prayer we can be deep without being morbid.

We will conclude this sermon with late Abibu Oluwa’s admonition: Oku s’adua f’araiye, araiye s’adua r’ero orun. K’aye o yewa, k’orun o yewon; aw ana ‘nbo wa d’abi awon. Translate?

Barka Juma’at and a happy weekend.

By Babatunde Jose

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen; Nobody knows my sorrow; Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen; Glory, Hallelujah –  Song by Louis Armstrong

Sickle cell disease (SCD) is a group of inherited red blood cell disorders. Red blood cells contain hemoglobin, a protein that carries oxygen. Healthy red blood cells are round, and they move through small blood vessels to carry oxygen to all parts of the body. In someone who has SCD, the hemoglobin is abnormal, which causes the red blood cells to become hard and sticky and look like a C-shaped farm tool called a “sickle.” The sickle cells die early, which causes a constant shortage of red blood cells. Also, when they travel through small blood vessels, they get stuck and clog the blood flow. This can cause pain and other serious complications (health problems) such as infection, acute chest syndrome and stroke.

People with sickle cell disease start to have signs of the disease during the first few months of life, usually around 5 months of age. …And that is when the nightmare starts for parents. Particularly those that have no idea of genotype or blood related disease.

It’s a most harrowing experience, even for knowledgeable parents as they are helpless.  Parents can only empathize but cannot feel the excruciating pain of the patient. In the infant stage of the affliction, parents keep sleepless nights depending on the frequency of the crisis. Crying, wailing, and weeping rent the air all night and they eventually end up in the emergency department of the hospital, where they ultimately become familiar faces.

Yet, that is the beginning of their life challenge as SCD is a disease that worsens over time. No two cases are the same in terms of severity; though, treatments are available that can prevent complications and lengthen the lives of those who have this condition; their life usually hangs on the will of God. Sometimes a simple crisis might not only be life threatening but life taking. My daughter and an unknown lady were both on admission, same evening at Redington hospital for the same Vaso-occlusive crisis. The lady dropped dead in the morning just as they were about to be discharged.

Sickle cell disease is a lifelong illness. A bone marrow transplant is currently the only cure for sickle cell disease. Gene therapy is also being explored as another potential cure.

As a result, treatment for sickle cell anemia is usually aimed at avoiding crises, relieving symptoms, and preventing complications. People with sickle cell disease face many challenges, including severe pain episodes, stroke, and organ damage, including adverse side effects of drugs, like hydroxyurea.

The drug Hydroxyurea, when taken daily reduces the frequency of painful crises and might reduce the need for blood transfusions and hospitalizations.

Hydroxyurea, however, exposes the patient to increased infection as it lowers the number of white blood cells in the blood. It can also lower the number of platelets which are necessary for proper blood clotting. And there is some concern that long-term use of this drug might cause problems later in life for people who take it for many years.

According to Mayo Clinic there are certain precautions you can take, especially when the blood count is low, to reduce the risk of infection or bleeding:

·        Avoid people with infections. Check with your doctor immediately if you think you are getting an infection or if you get a fever or chills, cough or hoarseness, lower back, or side pain, or painful or difficult urination.

·        Check with your doctor immediately if you notice any unusual bleeding or bruising, black, tarry stools, blood in the urine or stools, or pinpoint red spots on your skin.

·        Be careful when using a regular toothbrush, dental floss, or toothpick. Your medical doctor, dentist, or nurse may recommend other ways to clean your teeth and gums. Check with your medical doctor before having any dental work done.

·        Do not touch your eyes or the inside of your nose unless you have just washed your hands and have not touched anything else in the meantime.

·        Be careful not to cut yourself when you are using sharp objects such as a safety razor or fingernail or toenail cutters.

·        Avoid contact-sports or other situations where bruising or injury could occur.

“Using this medicine for a long time may increase your risk of developing leukemia (cancer of the blood) or skin cancer.

“While you are being treated with hydroxyurea, do not have any immunizations (vaccinations) without your doctor’s approval. Live virus vaccinations (eg, nasal flu virus vaccine) should not be given while you are using hydroxyurea.

“This medicine may increase your risk of having lung or breathing problems (e.g., interstitial lung disease). Check with your doctor right away if you develop a fever, cough, or trouble breathing while using this medicine.

“The results of some tests (e.g., continuous glucose monitor) may be affected by this medicine.

“Talk with your doctor before using this medicine if you plan to have children. Some men who use this medicine have become infertile.

“Do not take other medicines unless they have been discussed with your doctor. This includes prescription or nonprescription (over-the-counter [OTC]) medicines and herbal or vitamin supplements.

“Using a special ultrasound machine (transcranial), doctors can learn which children have a higher risk of stroke. This painless test can be used on children as young as 2 years. Regular blood transfusions can decrease stroke risk.

“Childhood vaccinations are important for preventing disease in all children. They’re even more important for children with sickle cell anemia because their infections can be severe.” These are some of the directives of Mayo Clinic on use of Hydroxyuear.

Blood transfusions carry some risk, including infection and excess iron build-up in the body. Because excess iron can damage the heart, liver and other organs, people who undergo regular transfusions might need treatment to reduce iron levels.

The two gene therapy treatments for sickle cell disease recently approved by the FDA in the US, called Casgevy and Lyfgenia, cost $2.2 million and $3.1 million per patient, respectively. Definitely beyond the reach of the average sufferer.

Sickle cell anemia can make life more difficult, particularly for a child, who will need to deal with delayed sexual maturity and stunted growth. You will need to avoid things that can cause a crisis, such as certain medication that restricts blood vessels, high altitudes, and strenuous exercise.

As people with sickle cell anemia grow older, they may develop different and more serious medical problems that happen when organ tissues don’t receive enough oxygen. People with sickle cell anemia are at increased risk for stroke and lung, kidney, spleen, and liver damage.

The leading causes of death in sickle cell diseases are infection, pain episodes, acute chest syndrome and stroke. Death can be sudden and unexpected in sickle cell anemia. Vaso-occlusive crisis is one of the commonest presentations and a leading cause of death.

The pain of a Sickler child is the agony of parents who are helplessly left to witness their child writhing in pain during a crisis, spending endless hours with them in the hospital during frequent bouts of admission and sometimes having the ill-luck of watching them die.

The pain of having a Sickler is well known and cannot be overemphasized. It is this threshold of unbearable bouts of pain that made my daughter to pen the following preamble to the NGO she is currently setting up: THE CRESCENT INITIATIVE for Sickle Cell, to empower those living with Sickle Cell Anemia:

“Two years ago, I sat down on the floor in my bathroom crying and thinking about the quickest method to end my life. I had had a painful episode that went on for several days and I was feeling hopeless.

“My pain score felt like 100/10 and my body felt like I had been hit by a bus. The pain got so bad that I could feel it in my fingers, and I could feel the floor under my feet. Due to the severity of my pain and my low blood level, I had to have a blood exchange.  Managing the pain was too much for me and it ate away my faith, my confidence, and my will to keep on surviving.  I was tired, my life seemed hopeless, and it was unfair that this kept happening to me.

“I cried for several hours recalling all I had gone through…several needle pricks just so that they could find a vein; my foggy memory, a side effect of the medications; and my long absence from work which had started to become “an inconvenience” to my manager and a sign that I might be losing my job.

“It was too much….it was unfair…. I did not want to be here anymore. I cried for several hours and decided to call my therapist whom I had just started seeing.

“Just hearing his voice made me break down again and in between sobs, I explained what I was feeling. He calmed me, listened to what I was going through and tested me for depression which the test confirmed.  Since then, I’ve been taking antidepressants and seeing a therapist regularly.

“During my sessions, I began to notice an improvement in how I felt and discovered that some of the issues I thought were unique to me were actually common for individuals with sickle cell. For example, I became aware that my emotions and stress levels could trigger my pain episodes, which, coupled with anxiety, attacks became more frequent.

“Learning coping strategies and positive affirmations helped me find balance. Through opening up to my therapist and later my hematologist, I realized that many individuals with sickle cell disease could and should benefit from mental health therapy, though it is often not included in their treatment plans.

 “Therapy was transformative for me, and I knew other warriors would also benefit. After thorough research and consultations with healthcare professionals, I decided to establish The Crescent Initiative for Sickle Cell.”

Fortunately, in everything, we always have cause to thank God. (Quran 16:53) and also (Quran 16:78)

We thank Almighty Allah for preserving the life of our daughter Asia Atinuke Jose (AJ) as she clocks 45 next week, May 8 and still counting, In Sha Allah.

Allah has found it pleasant to preserve her despite the Sickle Cell challenges. We also pray for other afflicted souls. May it please Allah to make it easy for them. For all those who have walked this path with us this far, I say a very big thank you.

Barka Juma’at and a happy weekend.

By Babatunde Jose

‘Hope’ is among the most exalted of all feelings. We have bestowed an air of nobility upon it – an optimist hopes, pessimist despairs. In Greek mythology, ‘hope’ is also the last of all things to jump out of Pandora’s box. It is pitched as a remedy for all the evils which leapt out of the box before it. If not a remedy, it certainly gave humans a reason to live on – a hope that things will be better tomorrow, even though it also has the capacity to extend and accentuate one’s misery at the same time.

For the Stoics, ‘hope’ was irrational. It is only by hoping that things turn out a certain way do we create the possibility of things not turning out how we want them to. If where there is misery, there is hope; then where there is hope, there is misery, too. We suffer not because of what we go through, we suffer because of what we hope for. Lucius Annaeus Seneca, who lived through much physical suffering, put it pithily: “we suffer more in imagination than in reality.”

“It is the audacity of hope which makes people dream, but it is understanding the futility of hope which makes people content.” – Maitreya Thakur

Hope is a blend of optimism and willpower. It can exist even in the most difficult situations and emotions. Hope is much more than wishful thinking, as it requires positiveness and determination. Hope is the belief that your future will be better than the present and that you have the ability to make it happen.

Hope is more than a feel-good emotion. It is an action-oriented strength involving agency, the motivation and confidence that goals can be reached, and also that many effective pathways can be devised in order to get to that desired future.

People high in hope tend to focus on what’s in front of them. They don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future, though they do set goals for themselves. They stay focused on what’s happening right now. This allows them to stay positive and act.

Hope is the belief that your future will be better than the present and that you have the ability to make it happen. It involves both optimism and a can-do attitude. This definition of hope is based on “Hope Theory,” a positive psychology concept developed by American psychologist Charles Snyder.

Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large. As a verb, its definitions include: “expect with confidence” and “to cherish a desire with anticipation”.

It is rather unfortunate that hope is not infinite. It gets to a stage when if hope is not realized, it degenerates into frustration and it becomes futile: Meaning it becomes unrealizable. At this stage it dawns on the subject that it is a hopeless hope and a furlong exercise.

What is the danger of losing hope? It can happen when our dreams die. It can also be devastating as they can lead to a loss of purpose and on to depression and discouragement.

When people are sold on the concept of ‘renewed hope’ after years of suffering deprivation, want and insecurity, and are suddenly plunged into poverty, hunger, misery, and want they experience the futility of hope.  Suddenly, the price of fuel jumps from under 200 a liter to 600, diesel becomes out of reach, wages become inadequate to put food on the tables, with prices of food skyrocketing: We return to the state of nature, “No arts; no letters; no society; and which is worst of all, continual fear, and danger of violent death; and the life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.” So said Thomas Hobbes in his Leviathan.

They project into the future and there is no future for their children and children’s children. This is the futility of hope.

How do we maintain hope in the face of uncertainty? What are you hopeful for? We all want to feel hope, but what does that mean to you? Turn to faith and spirituality. This is where God comes in. For those who poo poo the resort to spirituality, they have not experienced the futility of hope.

Can we survive without hope? Even when you have hit bottom, with no plan for getting out, hope gives. What does it give? Hope gives the motivation and courage needed to succeed. It’s been said that a person can live forty days without food, four days without water, four minutes without air, but only four seconds without hope.

Hope is necessary not just to survive, but also to thrive. Hope that things will change. Hope that the situation will improve. Hope that we can be better.

In 1992 Abiola raised the hope of the masses with his ‘Hope 93’. There was a revolution of rising expectations as the momentum of the campaign increased. Hopes were elevated for a better tomorrow. But with the annulment of that election all hopes were dashed. Then there was an interregnum of terror during which the revolution of expectations became a revolution of rising frustration. But after those dark days came a supposedly ‘glorious’ dawn with the coming of civil rule. Hope was rekindled. So, we thought.

For 24 years hopes have been raised and dashed by our civilian rulers. We had 16 years of the locust, 8 years of clueless rule of the ‘merchants of change’ who brought no change. No light, no industrial revolution, no food, no petrol, no diesel, no fertilizer, at a time, no cash, no future and no light at the end of the tunnel.

And then we arrived at the present with the mantra of ‘renewed hope’: Instead of hope being renewed, we have a worsening living standard. A life of hunger, insecurity, and pauperization. A life of hopelessness and frustration with a dim hope of tomorrow. A life of increased robbery, mass abductions and kidnappings where people are not safe in their homes. This is the hopelessness of hope that we live in: This is the futility of Hope.

In Genesis 8:22 God said: “For as long as Earth lasts, planting and harvest, cold and heat, Summer and winter, day and night will never stop.” That is the consolation from the Bible to keep hope alive.

It encourages us to renew our hope in God. Bolster our faith and make prayer and quiet time with the Lord a priority.  Surround ourselves with people of hope and faith, keep the word of God in our eyes and ears as many hours as possible each day. Refuse to quit and mix faith, hope, and love.

Despair,desperation, despondency, discouragement, hopelessness refers to a state of mind caused by circumstances that seem too much to cope with.

Overall, hope is beneficial to our well-being. Hope encourages us to persist, even though we may be facing setbacks. Hopeful individuals are more likely to frame difficulties as challenges, rather than threats. This enables them to experience setbacks as less stressful and draining.

This brings us to the various types of hope. Realistic hope: is hope for an outcome that is reasonable and possible. Utopian hope: is a collectively oriented hope that combined action can lead to a better future for everyone. Chosen hope: Helps us live with a problematic present in an uncertain future. And, Transcendent hope, or Existential hope, is the hope that is not tied to a specific outcome, but a general hope that something good can happen; this is where we are now.

We keep moving forward with optimism because hope allows us to envisage a better future or a good outcome. Allah promises us that after every difficulty is a relief. Inna ma’al ‘usri yusra. ‘Verily with every hardship comes ease’. Quran (94:6). We must never lose hope that our situation will improve.

Islam rejects excessive hope or excessive fear, describing both as a “pseudo” type, which would respectively contribute to self-deceit and despair, and end in spiritual decline. We should expect things to turn out for the best and we can look forward to tomorrow with confidence. God has promised us that following His guidance will lead us to the best outcome.

“And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if anyone puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion. (Surah Talaq, Quran 65:3)

In the Psalms, we read of a Song of Ascents, Psalm 21: I lift up my eyes to the hills– where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip– he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you– the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm– he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Amen

Barka Juma’at and a happy weekend.