Adding Value
Adding Value: The Experience of Life by Henry Ukazu
Published
6 years agoon
By
Eric
Greetings Dear Friends,
Life is an experience every one of us must surely pass through. It is often said that our experience shapes/defines who we are. Regardless of how true or false you may feel about life, you’ll agree with me that to a reasonable extent, your experience has helped to shape some of your thoughts and actions. Isn’t it true that it is only the person who wears the shoe who can tell where the pinches? It is a well-established fact that experience is the best teacher. This is because we all feel pains differently. According to a philosopher, life is about experiences. We all have to dream, strive, and fail before we can achieve success. Maybe we’ll discover along the way that the journey is more important than the destination
In one of my articles, published a couple of years ago what is life and how can one live through it? I defined life as a woman because you cannot “really” know her. During the course of this article, we shall be discussing many components of life and how the experience can shape you. We all need experience to survive through life because it helps to shape us in addition to giving us more exposure, opportunity, and respect. For instance, we all sit in the same classroom, but we don’t hear and understand the same thing; we all look at a picture but we don’t see the same thing; we all might be walking to a location but we all have a different vision; we all have a business but we run it differently based on our experiences, knowledge and even networks. The same theory is applicable to marriage, job, academics, business, sports etc.
Let’s share some practical details on how experience can shape us.
Marriage/Relationship
This is one of the most complicated and sensitive part of life any human can relate to. Marriage in simple term is life itself. As fondly opined by many rational minds, it is the school one can never graduate from, because you’ll continue to learn until the end of life. In our contemporary society, we have recorded so many divorces and questions flood the mind as what the secret to a successful marriage relationship actually is. Well, in my own humble opinion, there’s no clear cut secret to marriage except the presence of true love between both parties. This is because lots of factors contribute to a make a successful marriage. Every marriage is different and only the partners themselves can decide how they can manage their affairs. Where there’s a misunderstanding between both partners, it will be in their best interest to settle it themselves, and where they can’t settle it, a married or informed counselor can assist. I’m not insinuating that unmarried counselors with insightful positive experience can’t advise married couples, but I do know that whenever couples have problems, they are the only ones who can address their concerns better because nobody knows the root and fundamental cause of the problem more than do especially when they are not comfortable letting it out which leaves the counselor with the only option of speaking from his/her own experience. There have been cases where unmarried couples give advice to married people, in as much I won’t kick against that idea, I feel that sometimes, if not most times, experience plays a huge role in solving problems especially a sensitive one like marriage. Moral: somethings are best experienced than imagined. This is because of the practicality that comes with it. It’s just like driving, having sex, running a business etc.
Business
Just like the saying, old wine tastes better, the same can be said for business. The more time you spend learning the ropes in addition to equipping yourself with knowledge can play a huge role in shaping your business. Just like every great work takes time to manifest, business takes time to grow. I doubt if there’s any overnight successful in business. If at all one ever exist, it’s an exceptional circumstance it’s quite unfortunate many people jump into a business with the mindset of having a great turn over/profit just because they see it is flourishing or they see their friends/colleagues making great strides in the industry. What they fail to understand is that it is not greener out there and every business has a secret.
It’s imperative to note that one of the greatest ways to succeed in business is by having a great network. People find it comfortable to relate with people they know. According to Robin Sharma, “the business of business is relationship, but the business of life human connection”. In business, a lot of factors come into consideration before one can have a headway. First and foremost you must know what you are passionate about and what your skills set is composed of. Then, give yourself the necessary time to learn the business/trade. This learning can take several forms such as reading, volunteering, taking a class, networking and gaining exposure in the sector.
Furthermore, to succeed in business, you must learn soft skills in addition to being creative with emotional intelligence. For example, a creative and proactive businessman/woman must meet people where are as opposed to having the clients meet him/her where he/she is. A prudent business-minded fellow must have a great attitude to listen to customers, he/she must take the initiative of providing ideas on what might be beneficial to the business, and he/she must have a great attitude to relate with not only his/her clients but the public at large. According to John Maxell, ‘Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them’.
Job
One of the places that experience plays an influential role is the aspect of a job. Most employers always look for candidates with experience during the hiring process. It’s only in a few and rare instance they accept a candidate without experience. An experienced candidate tends to do a better job than a new hire. For example, a new hire may do the job in the right way, but an experienced being may do it in an efficient way.
Academic
In our contemporary society, many people seem people to downplay the role of education as it relates to succeeding in life. They opine that you can always “learn from the street”, you can also learn in an informal way as opposed to formal education. However, they fail to realize that education itself is an experience because you need to get theoretical knowledge before applying practical knowledge. It should be noted that academic education gives you an edge over a person who doesn’t have any opportunity/exposure to one. It is a well-established fact that no knowledge is a waste and having a basic theoretical knowledge can take the place of experience in certain situations.
Sports
This is another great area where experience plays a role. Sports is one of the great areas where experience is needed. It doesn’t matter if you play football, soccer, table tennis, volleyball, basketball, track and felid events and wresting. Your experience will definitely make a difference if you harness it well.
In conclusion, regardless of what you may have experienced through life, having a positive attitude is a guaranteed way of overcoming negative experience. According to Reno Omokri, an author and Pastor, “the secret of love is sacrifice. The secret of happiness is giving; the secret of life is GOD.” This nugget may have informed his line of thought. I don’t know your experience, but whatever it is continue to learn from it because one day it will add up and when you look back, you’ll understand why you have to have to go through the whole experience.
Personal
Just like every taste bud is different, each and every one of us experience different things in life. According to Eleanor Roosevelt, “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” If you ask anyone what’s the purpose of life, you’ll likely receive different responses. The answer to this question is subjective and deeply personal. Different things are important to us throughout the course of our lives. Yet one thing stays with us no matter where we go: our experiences. With respect to personal experience, definitely it’s important to note that your network determines your net worth. Therefore, cultivate your friendships and find companies that fulfill you. It’s from those experiences in life that you’ll learn and grow. In this process, we can learn valuable lessons about ourselves and the world around us. So, don’t be hard on yourself.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Be Selfish with Your Time by Henry Ukazu
Published
6 days agoon
December 20, 2025By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
Time is one of life’s most precious gifts. Time is priceless. Time is life. If anyone wants to really bless you, they will give you their time. Ignorant minds don’t know the importance of time. They prefer someone who will give them money as opposed to time.
Don’t get me wrong, money is good. But this is how I see it. If anyone gives you money, it’s like they are giving you fish, but if they give you time, they are teaching you how to fish. That’s why inferior minds see money as everything. They don’t know that if money is the only thing they have, they are poor.
Just like access, relationship, and value are currencies, time is also a priceless currency if properly managed. Most people erroneously believe that money is the only instrument to appreciate people, but there are scenarios where people have used time to get the attention of resource minds. Let me share a practical example; one of the best ways to get the attention of great men of influence is by using your time to serve them.
These great minds have seen money and wealth, and as such they value something different which money can’t buy, that’s where genuine loyalty comes into play. On a personal note, most of the great people I have been privileged to meet on earth were simply because of how I invested and engaged my time in their business, life and work (online and offline). In some cases, I used money to open the door, but I used my time to sustain and solidify the relationship based on the value I offered them.
Imagine if I don’t have value to share with them, my relationship and impact will not be as high as it is celebrated, because money without value is limited, but value if properly managed can metamorphose into wealth. Why am I saying this? Time is much more resourceful than money. Moral: Anyone that gives you time appreciates and loves you.
Ignorant minds see time for what it is not. Time is life. Let’s think about it for a minute, one’s life can change for good just by being in the right place and one can lose a life changing opportunity for just being late for an event of interest. Now, you see why time is life.
Great men, who have truly succeeded in life, judiciously used their time. They practiced the principle of quality over quantity meaning that they can spend quality time learning a particular thing, which is capable of attracting the attention of great minds even if it means spending time and resources because of the influence it will generate in their life. This is opposed to spending quantity time on projects which might not produce the desired result.
Most great minds adopt the Pareto Principle, which is known as the 80/20 rule. This rule states that roughly 80% of outcomes come from 20% of causes, highlighting an imbalance where a few key inputs drive most results. These great minds are not concerned with mundane things. They leave crumbs for lesser minds. Great minds understand the power of delegation; they use money to buy time even when it is not convenient to do so.
Being selfish with one’s time is not a sin. One must do what works for them because your life is your life, no one can share it with you; your sorrow is your sorrow, no one can share it with you; and your joy is your joy, no one can share with you. This is why it’s good to do what works for you? In the real world, nobody really cares for you. You must fight both your real and silent wars.
When you are selfish with your time and resources, majority of people won’t really like you in the beginning, because they expect you to be there for them, they however, fail to realize you also have a life to build, and also needs help.
When you work on your purpose, you will know what’s necessary and make valuable use of your time. You will be intentional in doing the needful to fulfil the purpose of God in your life, and that entails being selfish with your time and resources.
Visionary people are selfish with their time because they know they have a purpose to fulfil. That’s why it’s always good to stay focused on your purpose and vision. Many people may not understand your calling; that’s fine, they don’t have to understand it because when God created you and gave you your purpose, it wasn’t a conference call. So, when he reveals something for you, it’s not for everyone to understand.
When you see a man who is focused, you’ll know because he will be intentional with the people he relates with, and how he uses time. Be so jealous of your time that people will respect you when you share a minute of it with them. In the society we live in, people will value you just the way you present yourself. If you present yourself as one, who is unserious with life, that’s exactly how they will treat you.
The irony is that anyone who has been selfish with their time and is able to succeed, receives congratulations and attention from those, who had despised him in the past. Again, this is why it is good to do what works for you, because at the end of the day, everybody will be alright.
Did you know that when you give people too much of your time, you give them the ability to prevent you from fulfilling your unique purpose, which only you can achieve. Almost everyone wants a piece of your time, but the truth is we can’t be there for everyone.
In summary, if you want to be serious with your life, you must be selfish with your money, skills, talent and time. Failure to do this will make people take you for granted.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Model Success to Be Successful by Henry Ukazu
Published
2 weeks agoon
December 12, 2025By
Eric
Greetings Destiny Friends,
The year is gradually coming to an end, and most people, organizations, companies, associations and countries are already taking stock of how they fared during the year. While some may have succeeded, others may have failed in some areas, but one thing is certain, they all had an experience and learned something. This experience can be negative or positive depending on whovwas involved.
It is important to note that great companies, organizations, families, schools, employees, artists, footballers and others did not become great overnight; they learnt from others, who are more knowledgeable and experienced thereby adding to their own knowledge. That explains why most times, people talk about role models and mentors. Role models and mentors are path-finders because they guide with both their theoretical and practical experiences. A philosopher once stated, that ‘if at all I have attained success, it is because I stood on the platform of those who have attained that height’. It’s instructive to know that great men have great habits.
As human beings, there are several things that make us happy. It can be family, friends, careers/vocations, finance, health, physique, or even relationship with one’s creator. Every human being, except for a sadist, likes to be happy. But even a sadist derives a certain level of joy and satisfaction when they cause other people pain. However, being happy takes a lot of time and resources. For instance, when one spends time with courses they like, they tend to be happier, and when one works hard to have a decent life and decides to give himself a good treat, happiness is bound to radiate in their hearts.
Did you know that one can attract happiness just by looking at the lifestyle of other people who are living happy lives? It’s just like one who wants to achieve success in a particular field, whether in marriage, business, leadership, career, personal development, health, finance, family or even spirituality. The best thing the person can do is learn from the person, who has succeeded in that area. According to a sage, “great minds have great habits, they carefully select their partners, a step into their life will make a difference in your life, absorb their tapes, read their books and you’ll be great like them”. This message is simply talking about modelling success.
Another message here is that everyone needs a success model to be successful. Nobody succeeds on their own. We all learnt from someone. Someone gave us an opportunity to succeed. We are not better than everyone. We are just lucky to strategically be in the right place, probably say the right thing, have the right product/service, or even have the opportunity of being recommended by a resource person. The reasons are numerous.
To succeed in life, we must model success. All around are people who have achieved the kind of success anyone desires. All that needs to be done is to go close to them by being intentional. Seek an opportunity to learn. A caveat however, is never approach with an opportunist’s mindset.
Even if they are not in your field of study, look for avenues to get their attention. You can decide to get them a gift, study their work online and engage with them. Associate with their friends or anyone who knows or has access to them. If you have an opportunity, attend any event they might be attending or even speaking, endeavor to show up because one’s presence speaks loud. It could be the defining moment.
I can’t over emphasize the importance of modelling success. A lot of time, success doesn’t come to one, it created. People must endeavor to create the world they want to live, and by so doing, create their own success. Personally, I have modelled success in several ways. Whether I am in church, at work, school, or social gathering, I try to speak the language of my environment and project the message I want my perceived audience to get.
It’s disheartening to see people who complain and weep like Prophet Jeremiah and do literally nothing to help their life. It’s instructive to note that nobody will save you; you must save yourself. It’s only when you have helped yourself that help will locate you. It’s generally stated that heaven help those who help themselves’.
Let me share a practical example of how this works. I vividly remember when I was working on my first book. In all sincerity, I didn’t know what I was writing, I just flowed with whatever came to my mind. By the time I was done, I had a hard time editing and publishing it due to limited funds, but the universe was kind enough to bring destiny helpers to support me, and today, the book is a recipe for modelling success.
In conclusion, decide today to adopt the strength and strategies of your perceived role models. If you can’t have much personal contact with them, read their books listen to their tapes and attend their speaking engagements. Appreciate them through your note, test messages, or support their work. Trust me, they’ll notice and reach out.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Heal and Move On by Henry Ukazu
Published
3 weeks agoon
December 6, 2025By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
One of the most unpredictable entitles in life is time. Yes, time is very unpredictable if considering its true essence.
Did you know that time heals? No matter what may have happened during one’s lifetime, the pain, no matter how great, will fizzle out with time, and life will move on. However, one’s strength and capacity for endurance will also be tested. Have you ever lost a loved one and think you will cry forever? Well, a time will come when you will completely adjust, and only miss the person when certain realities set in.
Has anyone offended you, and you think you can’t forgive? Well, if the principle of time heals and reveals, are applied, it will get to a stage, where they would automatically heal, and move on, especially in matters of the heart and relationship.
Have you also ever been betrayed? If yes, just give it little time because at the appointed time, the truth will be unraveled because time will definitely reveal itself. According to a sage, no matter how long it may take, the truth will always triumph over lie because truth is an open wound which only conscience can heal.
Why am I saying this? I have come to realize that in the journey of life, nothing lasts forever. While some people feel they have it together, they fail to understand that what they have is temporary because even their life is not guaranteed. According to Dr. Dele Momodu, an accomplished journalist, “the child of a certified pauper can become a man of means tomorrow if properly educated”.
Life has a way of humbling and elevating people, that’s why it’s always good for one to be humble before life humbles them. I once had a conversation with one of my revered mentors whom I call the sage. He shared a lesson which I won’t forget in a jiffy. We attended a burial ceremony, and I observed that the family members of the deceased were mourning bitterly. He said, “Henry, do you know why the family members are weeping profusely? I said it’s because they lost a loved one who might be the breadwinner of the family, the peacemaker or even the most resourceful person with the touch of favor and grace to get anything done.
He said, all my reasons were valid, but one thing is certain, the person won’t be replaced again because there’s no one like him and there will never be anyone like him. He went further to say, the only solace the family and friends will have is the legacy and impact he has made in the lives of those he touched.
I paused for a minute to think about what he had just said, and it was only then that it occurred to me that a vacuum had been created. While I was pondering over what he said, he dropped another bomb. He said, ‘Henry, did you see that man lying lifeless on the ground?’ I said, ‘yes sir’. He said, ‘do you know what that means?’ I said no. He said, the dead man is saying, ‘I am here today and you will be here tomorrow’. In all honesty and sincerity, those words hit me real hard. My mentor went on to say, what the dead man is actually saying is that as you leave this place today, go and make peace with everyone, but more importantly make an impact in the lives of people.
While I was still processing what my mentor said, he added, let me tell you while I invited you to attend this burial. He said, everyone who attended this funeral will move on after the burial ceremony, and what will be left of the deceased is a memory. You see, regardless of the ovation he accrued when he was alive, everything will be history. That statement really hit me hard, and that’s so true because life will always move on regardless of what happens, so it makes no sense for one to try to impress someone. Just do the best you can and then move on. The moral here is that nobody is indispensable no matter how good they are.
When we juxtapose this with the reality of life, we’ll realize that life is very simple, it’s us humans that make it difficult. Did you know that no matter how rich, valuable, resourceful, wealthy or famous one is, when the person is no longer available, they might not really be missed that much, because people will move on to the next person within a short period of time.
Let’s take a case study of a celebrity, who shares an update online. The post might trend for sometime and after a while the ovation will cease, and people will move to the next breaking news or update. The same is applicable to a tweet or post someone makes on social media. The post might gain some traction, but after a few hours or days, the story will be over. People will move on to the next post. Such is life.
The hidden truth about life is that life will move regardless of how one plans it. People will move on, companies will move on, parents, friends, siblings, and even detractors will move on to the next target. So, it makes no sense for one to try to please everyone.
According to Elbert Hubbard, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” This literally means human beings are insatiable by nature; you can’t please them.
So, as one journeys through life, it’s always important for one to figure out what’s relevant and what’s not relevant and then decide what is the best use for your time at any point in time.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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