Adding Value

Adding Value: The Experience of Life by Henry Ukazu

Published

7 years ago

November 16, 2019

Eric

Greetings Dear Friends,

Life is an experience every one of us must surely pass through. It is often said that our experience shapes/defines who we are. Regardless of how true or false you may feel about life, you’ll agree with me that to a reasonable extent, your experience has helped to shape some of your thoughts and actions. Isn’t it true that it is only the person who wears the shoe who can tell where the pinches? It is a well-established fact that experience is the best teacher. This is because we all feel pains differently. According to a philosopher, life is about experiences. We all have to dream, strive, and fail before we can achieve success. Maybe we’ll discover along the way that the journey is more important than the destination

In one of my articles, published a couple of years ago what is life and how can one live through it? I defined life as a woman because you cannot “really” know her. During the course of this article, we shall be discussing many components of life and how the experience can shape you. We all need experience to survive through life because it helps to shape us in addition to giving us more exposure, opportunity, and respect. For instance, we all sit in the same classroom, but we don’t hear and understand the same thing; we all look at a picture but we don’t see the same thing; we all might be walking to a location but we all have a different vision; we all have a business but we run it differently based on our experiences, knowledge and even networks. The same theory is applicable to marriage, job, academics, business, sports etc.

Let’s share some practical details on how experience can shape us.

Marriage/Relationship

This is one of the most complicated and sensitive part of life any human can relate to. Marriage in simple term is life itself. As fondly opined by many rational minds, it is the school one can never graduate from, because you’ll continue to learn until the end of life. In our contemporary society, we have recorded so many divorces and questions flood the mind as what the secret to a successful marriage relationship actually is. Well, in my own humble opinion, there’s no clear cut secret to marriage except the presence of true love between both parties. This is because lots of factors contribute to a make a successful marriage. Every marriage is different and only the partners themselves can decide how they can manage their affairs. Where there’s a misunderstanding between both partners, it will be in their best interest to settle it themselves, and where they can’t settle it, a married or informed counselor can assist. I’m not insinuating that unmarried counselors with insightful positive experience can’t advise married couples, but I do know that whenever couples have problems, they are the only ones who can address their concerns better because nobody knows the root and fundamental cause of the problem more than do especially when they are not comfortable letting it out which leaves the counselor with the only option of speaking from his/her own experience. There have been cases where unmarried couples give advice to married people, in as much I won’t kick against that idea, I feel that sometimes, if not most times, experience plays a huge role in solving problems especially a sensitive one like marriage. Moral: somethings are best experienced than imagined. This is because of the practicality that comes with it. It’s just like driving, having sex, running a business etc.

Business

Just like the saying, old wine tastes better, the same can be said for business. The more time you spend learning the ropes in addition to equipping yourself with knowledge can play a huge role in shaping your business. Just like every great work takes time to manifest, business takes time to grow. I doubt if there’s any overnight successful in business. If at all one ever exist, it’s an exceptional circumstance it’s quite unfortunate many people jump into a business with the mindset of having a great turn over/profit just because they see it is flourishing or they see their friends/colleagues making great strides in the industry. What they fail to understand is that it is not greener out there and every business has a secret.

It’s imperative to note that one of the greatest ways to succeed in business is by having a great network. People find it comfortable to relate with people they know. According to Robin Sharma, “the business of business is relationship, but the business of life human connection”. In business, a lot of factors come into consideration before one can have a headway. First and foremost you must know what you are passionate about and what your skills set is composed of. Then, give yourself the necessary time to learn the business/trade. This learning can take several forms such as reading, volunteering, taking a class, networking and gaining exposure in the sector.

Furthermore, to succeed in business, you must learn soft skills in addition to being creative with emotional intelligence. For example, a creative and proactive businessman/woman must meet people where are as opposed to having the clients meet him/her where he/she is. A prudent business-minded fellow must have a great attitude to listen to customers, he/she must take the initiative of providing ideas on what might be beneficial to the business, and he/she must have a great attitude to relate with not only his/her clients but the public at large. According to John Maxell, ‘Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them’.

Job

One of the places that experience plays an influential role is the aspect of a job. Most employers always look for candidates with experience during the hiring process. It’s only in a few and rare instance they accept a candidate without experience. An experienced candidate tends to do a better job than a new hire. For example, a new hire may do the job in the right way, but an experienced being may do it in an efficient way.

Academic

In our contemporary society, many people seem people to downplay the role of education as it relates to succeeding in life. They opine that you can always “learn from the street”, you can also learn in an informal way as opposed to formal education. However, they fail to realize that education itself is an experience because you need to get theoretical knowledge before applying practical knowledge. It should be noted that academic education gives you an edge over a person who doesn’t have any opportunity/exposure to one. It is a well-established fact that no knowledge is a waste and having a basic theoretical knowledge can take the place of experience in certain situations.

Sports

This is another great area where experience plays a role. Sports is one of the great areas where experience is needed. It doesn’t matter if you play football, soccer, table tennis, volleyball, basketball, track and felid events and wresting. Your experience will definitely make a difference if you harness it well.

In conclusion, regardless of what you may have experienced through life, having a positive attitude is a guaranteed way of overcoming negative experience. According to Reno Omokri, an author and Pastor, “the secret of love is sacrifice. The secret of happiness is giving; the secret of life is GOD.” This nugget may have informed his line of thought. I don’t know your experience, but whatever it is continue to learn from it because one day it will add up and when you look back, you’ll understand why you have to have to go through the whole experience.

Personal

Just like every taste bud is different, each and every one of us experience different things in life. According to Eleanor Roosevelt, “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” If you ask anyone what’s the purpose of life, you’ll likely receive different responses. The answer to this question is subjective and deeply personal. Different things are important to us throughout the course of our lives. Yet one thing stays with us no matter where we go: our experiences. With respect to personal experience, definitely it’s important to note that your network determines your net worth. Therefore, cultivate your friendships and find companies that fulfill you. It’s from those experiences in life that you’ll learn and grow. In this process, we can learn valuable lessons about ourselves and the world around us. So, don’t be hard on yourself.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com

Adding Value

Adding Value: Kill Worry Before It Kills You by Henry Ukazu

Published

3 days ago

July 18, 2026

Eric

Dear Destiny Friends,

No human being can claim exeption from worry. Studies have proved that every person has at one time or another expressed worry over a particular, personal or general. Worry is a universal emotion, and not selective. We worry about our friends, children, partners, spouses, finance, career, health, job interviews and sometimes, how to go about first dates.

Worrying is like a challenge. No matter how hard one tries, they cannot run away from it. Worry can be described as the necessary evil we can’t afford. The basic truth temains that so long as there’s life, worrying about something is never faraway.

Did you know that constant worrying, negative thinking, and always expecting the worst can take a toll on a person’s emotional and physical health. It can sap emotional strength, leave one feeling restless and jumpy, cause insomnia, headaches, stomach problems, and make it difficult to concentrate at work or school.

When you worry, you experience restlessness. You may feel physically jittery, or restless and unfocused at work or school. This is because your attention is so focused on your worries.

Constant worrying can keep you up at night and make you tense and edgy during the day. And even though you hate feeling like a nervous wreck, it can still be so difficult to stop. For most chronic worriers, the anxious thoughts are fueled by the likely negative beliefs they hold in high belief that’s likely going to happen.

The truth about life is that no matter how hard we try, we can’t solve any problem by worrying about the problem. Imagine being poor, sick, and experiencing a spiritual challenge, trust me, crying, apportioning blame, and complaining won’t fix the problem. What is expected from an informed mind is to fix the problem by proffering solutions.

In the words of a social commentator, Dr. Yomi Garnet, “worry is such an unfortunate habit, isn’t it? Admittedly, real problems do exist, but often we expend so much energy on problems that do not exist, or worse still, we create new ones by dwelling on a myriad of bad things that might happen but never do. Resolve today to be so strong that nothing and nobody can disturb your peace of mind”.

One of the major disadvantages of worry is the level of restlessness and sleeplessness it brings with it, meaning that worries can keep one awake all night.

Changes in social life. Worry can cause social detachment. The effects of chronic worrying can also spill over into your social life. You might find that you become short-tempered with people around you, or even self-isolate yourself from others because you feel so emotionally exhausted.

The question now becomes; how do we solve these problems and challenges? How do we overcome worry? And more importantly, how can we live above worry?

Speak to a Licensed Therapist

Speaking to someone can help to address his concern. According to Maya Angelou, “People may may forget what you say, people may forget what you do, but people will never forget how you made them feel. You can consider speaking to your parents, siblings, partners, mentor or licensed therapist. For instance, BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. You can ask your friends, family members, and people of interest how they cope with uncertainty in specific situations. This can help to improve social and mental wellbeing.

Build a strong support system.

Human beings are social creatures. We’re not meant to live in isolation. But a strong support system doesn’t necessarily mean a vast network of friends. Don’t underestimate the benefit of a few people you can trust and count on to be there for you.

Admit Your Fears

Let’s be honest, it’s practically impossible to feel truly thankful and discontented at the same moment. The first step in solving a problem is by admitting and recognizing we have a problem. This is because identification of a problem is fifty percent solved. Once we know a problem exists, the next stage is how do we solve the problem.

There’s no double fear plays a big role in why we worry. We worry about the future. Imagine being out of work and owing rent, it could be traumatic. So, admitting one has a problem of having no job and owing rent is enough to put fear in our body. To solve these problems, one ought to find a job. That’s one of the fastest and most resourceful ways of eliminating fear and worry as it relates to being poor or out of work.

Give Thanks.

Another great way of eliminating worry from our life is by giving thanks to God if one is a Christian. Giving thanks has an undertone of acknowledging problems, however, it says, I’m not focusing on it because I have a superior power over the problem and as such, I will thank my creator who is aware of issues at hand.

Again, giving thanks has an inherent message saying, this challenge is a test of my ability to overcome this challenge. The problem will make one think out of the box about how to address the problem.

Be Still

Being still despite chaos can be challenging. One of the ways of practicing this principle is by taking a deep breath, resting, reflecting, and meditating. This helps to clear one’s head to focus on important things as opposed to mundane things. It’s instructive to note that there’s a certain level of peace of mind that comes to one when one is still.

Pray

This is one of the most powerful ways to end worry from our life. Sometimes, there are problems that are beyond us, but they are not beyond our God. According to the Serenity prayer, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Sometimes, I wonder why most people worry when they can pray. Prayers can change a lot of things if we are intentional and do our own part of the bargain.

In conclusion, to live long and become productive, please quit worrying and complaining about what you have no control over and focus on what you have control over.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Adding Value

Adding Value: Make Efficiency, Effectiveness Your Watchword by Henry Ukazu

Published

1 week ago

July 11, 2026

Eric

Dear Destiny Friends,

To be successful, everyone needs to be effective and efficient in all they do. Success does not come from nicety, speech articulation or fine diction, spotless dressing, connections, good proposal or even from having a good product. Though all these factors might play a role, a business man must not only be efficient in their business, they must also be effective.

These words, effective and efficient no doubt, are so closely related, however there’s a thin line of difference between the two. If you stay with me for awhile, you’ll understand.

One might be wondering what the difference between being effective and being efficient is. According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, a prolific and exceptional ghost writer, efficiency is the ability to do something well without wasting energy or effort, whilst to be effective is simply to do something well. Let’s talk a minute to explain how this works. One can be efficient and not effective, and one can be effective and not efficient. But a truly great mind is both effective and efficient. When one is efficient, it means that he can do the work within the shortest possible time. This may be because he has done it over and over again, and have mastered its nitty-gritty.

There’s a saying, if someone can’t explain something to a six-year-old child, that person doesn’t understand the subject very well. I agree with this saying because when someone understands something, he/she won’t go through stress explaining it, and will spend minimum time doing it. Whilst for someone who is effective, he knows the issue or has a subject matter expert on the business very well. He can literally do it when he wakes up from sleep without rehearsing. So, in summary, an effective person saves time, while an efficient person explains better.

As progressive beings, we must be proactive with not only our life, but also our business, career, and whatever we find our hand worthy of doing. By doing so, people will appreciate us and support us. In business, one of the best forms of advertising is referral. When one’s work is exceptionally good, he doesn’t need too much advertising; his work will speak for itself. For instance, anyone who may have used the product might say ‘I have used this product or service, and I can guarantee its effectiveness’. Another person might say ‘the staff are very efficient, professional, and great at customer service’.

All these are great reviews. Trust me, one doesn’t need too many reviews to believe in the authenticity of what people are saying. They can sense a genuine review devoid of sentiments and vested interest. So, imagine a case where there’s no review, one might have a challenge in believing the durability and effectiveness of the product/service.

As a business owner, one must be intentional with respect to how he treats his employers and customers. What most uninformed business owners don’t know is that when you take care of your staff, they will in turn take care of your business. When the staff are happy, they’ll treat the customers well, and when the customers are happy, they’ll in turn tell the world. Do you see how effectiveness and efficiency work in a company?

In a similar way, if one is consistent in publishing articles every week like I do, opportunities are bound to arise soon when there’s alignment. As a business owner, I can authoritatively tell you being good at what you say you do is a currency. Nobody likes shady or dirty work. I can also tell you people are ready to pay for premium services provided you can deliver.

Let me share a personal experience with you; two months ago, I visited my home country – Nigeria, for a business opportunity. During my meeting with some established institutions, I had to submit proposals to them. But because I wasn’t proficient in writing proposals, I had to hire a consultant to do the job for me. Not only did I hire a consultant, I also flew him for business meetings because I trusted his judgment, and guess work, it paid off.

Imagine, if I had to do it myself, I doubt if the work would have been given the kind of positive attention it attracted. Why am I sharing this information? When one is good at what they do, it won’t take long for them to be seen when the right opportunity comes.

Being efficient and effective does not only apply to our professional lives, it’s also applicable in our personal lives. In the world we currently live in, things are governed by perception. When people see how effective and efficient you are, they will be inclined to associate with you, but when you appear like an unserious person, they will find it hard to recommend or refer you for business opportunities.

So, today, take stock and ask yourself if are you an effective and efficient person; if your company is effective and efficient. If your answer is no; ask yourself what you can do to make you and your company effective. The answer will set you on the right path to success.

Adding Value

Adding Value: The Inherent Power of Gift-Nurturing by Henry Ukazu

Published

2 weeks ago

July 5, 2026

Eric

Greetings Destiny Friends,

The saying, the joy of life is not how happy you are, but how happy others can be because of you, is no fluke. The statement emphasizes the importance of building human relationships. Relationships are skills that need to be nurtured.

Building and maintaining relationships is a skill that everyone needs to learn. But importantly, one must be intentional in the kind of relationship they intend to build because failure to cross the t’s and dot the i’s can have devastating effects on a person.

As human beings, sometimes, we don’t know what we have until we lose them. It’s instructive to note that one of the major challenges Third World countries have is maintaining culture. These third world countries find it difficult to maintain their roads, schools, provide good health hospitals, or build infrastructural facilities for their citizens. Even as human beings, sometimes, we lack this mindset of not maintaining or developing what we have. This is because we might know how to sing, swim, dance, play soccer, write or even teach, but we don’t develop it.

It’s instructive to note that the world is usually attracted to strength and not weakness. Isn’t it true that nobody celebrates poverty, rather they eulogize successful and wealthy people. So, if you desire to be celebrated, endeavor to develop what’s inside of you.

Let me tell you, nobody can celebrate or talk about you if you don’t talk or celebrate yourself, and nobody can save you without you making an attempt to save yourself. According to a former President of Nigeria, Dr. Goodluck Jonathan, “you can’t wake a man who is pretending to be asleep”. That’s a powerful statement insinuating the power of self-determination. When you develop what you have, the world will resonate with you. This is what I mean by the power of maintenance.

The question we need to ask ourselves is how do we maintain what we have? Well, maintaining what we have is not as hard as it may appear. All that is necessary for one to be intentional in developing and adding value to their life.

Everyone has a gift or talent, but the challenge we have is that we don’t take time to groom it. Beloved, if you don’t groom your gift, nobody will do it for you. If you don’t speak about yourself, nobody will speak about you. Sometimes, we want glory, but we are not willing to pay the price.

Furthermore, in every sphere of life, maintenance culture is very important. Failure to do so can make one spend more. Imagine having a car with a minor break, if the car is not properly fixed, it will affect other parts of the car. The same principle is applicable if one has a house which needs repairs. The principle of the broken window tells us when a window is damaged, it will be better to pull it out or fix it so we can focus on other things otherwise, it will affect other components in the house.

This principle is also applicable to business, politicians, academics, spirituality, health and family. As a matter of fact, it is applicable in every area of our life. According to Myles Munroe “whatever we don’t manage we lose”. So, imagine what will happen if we don’t develop our skills and talent. The grave is considered the richest soil on earth because of the millions and billions of talents that have been buried inside the soil.

As a budding entrepreneur, we have been told about the power of consistency. When one is consistent, the universe has a way of showcasing us to the world. Let me share a practical example of how consistency works. In 2018, I was given an opportunity to publish weekly articles by Chief Dele Momodu on this online newspaper. I took up the challenge and have been consistently publishing inspirational and creative articles that will assist entrepreneurs and progressive minds to unleash their potential.

Here is the catch, I have received numerous opportunities and recognition globally from resourceful organizations, in addition to meeting great leaders of thought who have developed interest in my work. It’s important to note that I wasn’t a great writer at the initial stage, but over time, I have honed my writing skills by interacting and reading from resourceful minds

For business owners, if you have a business, consider learning all necessary information including taking certification classes, training and networking with the right people to acquaint yourself to the extent an opportunity presents itself. Also, sometimes we wait for people or big organizations to give you big opportunities to showcase your work to the world, but we fail to understand that we have what it takes to attract global attention which will bring the big names and organizations we desire to come to us. But we are not willing to pay the price.

I can remembered when I started my business, I had no clarity of what I was doing, but because I was intentional to learn, I attended many online trainings and today I can boldly say that by the special grace of God, my organization have partnered with global organizations and United Nations Development Programme to train youths in Rwanda on Leadership. The moral of this message is that I maintained my line, I maintained my skill, talent, I developed myself, but more importantly I didn’t give up on what I have inside me. I may not know your experiences or situations or expectations, but if you can stay focused and do the needful, I have no doubt the world will celebrate you in due time.