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Adding Value: Dealing with Failure by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friend,

Failure is one the dreaded, if not the most dreaded fears of the average human being. It competes favourably with poverty. Just like wealth and success boost the confidence of a person, so does failure humbles a man’s psyche. However, the ability to manage success as a skill, needs to be understudied to avoid failure.

In recent times, I have learnt to ask resourceful people more about their failures more than their success. As a matter of fact, people who have failed more have more to share than people who have succeeded. The irony of life is that most of the time, people tend to give more credence to those who have succeeded more than those who have failed.

Uninformed people see those who have failed as people with dirt or dent on their lives. In some cases, they are seen as nothing to write home about just because they failed. It’s instructive to note that failure is not alien to anyone. Everyone, at one time or another, experiences failure. What some people fail to understand however, is that the people who failed have a lot more to share than those who succeeded.

Just to put it in perspective, imagine a divorcee giving you a genuine advice on marriage; imagine a politician who has failed in several elections and later succeed giving you an advice on electioneering campaigns; imagine a businessman who failed in business up advising you on how to run a business; imagine a student who has failed a class advising you how to do well in  a class. The list is literally endless. One thing is certain, all these failures will come from the place of love, pain and fulfilment and will be properly metaphor into gain if properly utilized.

I have failed many times more than I have succeeded and this failure has humbled me.  If only our failures and mistakes are written on our face, no human will have a clean face. It’s so sad many people have allowed their mistakes and failures to define them.

To understand how to deal with failure, let’s explain the concept of failure with the word FAILURE.

Fall

Literally, when you fall, it means you have failed or fallen from an exalted position. Before one fails in life, one would have fallen. In contemporary times, uninformed people in our society tend to laugh at people who have failed elections, failed exams, failed in academics, failed in leadership positions, failed in marriage and failed in their personal and professional vocations. When you fail in life, the next thing is to acknowledge it and try to maximize the opportunity to bounce back.

Acknowledgement.

It’s only a fool who will do the same thing over and over again and expect to get a different result. When you make a mistake, the best thing to do as a leader is to acknowledge it and learn to avoid the mistake again. Failing to acknowledge your mistake will make people perceive you as having pride especially when one tries to apportion the blame to another person. When you acknowledge your mistake, the next stage is to investigate the mistake to avoid repeating it again.

Investigate.

This is the beginning of learning. When people investigate, they are trying to know more to verify certain information or acts. Without investigation, there will be little or no consequences. When it comes to failures, investigating a mistake doesn’t mean one is trying to find a fault, rather one is trying to know how to avert a similar problem.  When one has truly found the answers to a problem, one will begin to learn from the experience what truly happened.

Learn

Nothing elevates one than learning from one’s mistakes. When you learn from your mistakes, you will be poised to unleash your potential by turning your mistakes into your friend. It’s quite unfortunate that many people don’t take time to learn. Learning will strategically position one to avoid mistakes. It’s said, a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other people’s mistakes.  When one learns, one will understand how systems and structures work. When you learn more, you stand a better position to earn more especially when one has learned from their mistakes.

Understand

Failure in life comes with understanding. When one fails, one will see and understand life differently. Just to put this in perspective. Imagine a man who has fortune and has been a tremendous blessing to people and now lives in penury. Many of his beneficiaries will gradually slide to the next benefactor. Again, imagine a politician with influence as a Governor, Minister of President controlling and managing people and resources, one can’t imagine the beehive of people that will be trooping to his house and office daily seeking for favor. The day the man loses his position, he will understand the meaning of loyalty because the majority of people who were around him were simply there due to vested interests. If you call them sycophants, you won’t be totally wrong. This is simply the reality of life. Moral: Failure in life will give you understanding and wisdom.

When you experience this understanding, the best thing that can happen to you will be to realign with the right people with the right energy. Going back to the people who abandoned you literally means; one hasn’t learnt much and is about to make another terrible mistake.

Realign

Realignment comes with attraction. Just like kind attracts people with similar vision, purpose and energy attracts. Failure in life will make one practice alignment by taking stock of what’s working in and what’s not working. When one experiences failure, going to the same people, and situations that led one to the same mistake simply means the person hasn’t aligned well. When proper alignment has taken place, the next big stage is to evolve. This is where all the pieces will be put together to make failure have a meaning.

Evolve

When one evolves, it means one has metamorphosed into a new being. To evolve means one has grown and no longer operates from the place of lack. During my formative years in the USA, I used to be a horrible writer, but when you juxtapose the Henry Ukazu of 2010 and the Henry Ukazu of 2024, you will know the difference is clear. When you evolve, you will see a lot of transformation in your life.

Failure makes one evolve into a new beginning. To understand how one evolves, a newborn baby crawls before walking and running. In a similar vein, a child attends kindergarten school before attending elementary, middle school, high school, and college. All these are processes of evolution. Failure makes one evolve and transform into a better person. Failure has many parts and components and when they have been assembled, they will make one to evolve to a more refined and reformed being.

In summary, as you journey through life, see failure as an experience as opposed to a mistake. In that way, you will learn from it.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: The Blessings of Giving by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

As human beings, life offers us several blessings. The blessings can be spiritual, physical, financial, academic, marital, vocational, professional, and even personal which can be attributed to grace.

Just like one man’s food is another man’s poison, blessings mean several things to different people. Some of us desire the blessings of parents which I humbly think is the highest form of blessings apart from the blessings of God. While someone might be praying and wishing for the blessing of a life partner, some other persons are praying for the blessings of the fruit of the womb, destiny helpers or even dream job.

When we talk of giving, it’s not limited to financial blessings. It’s only myopic minds who judge or see people who give money as good people. We should desist from the mindset of seeing people who give money as good people. Some great minds might give you their time to mentor you, train you, or give you opportunities that will shape your life.

Giving shows where our heart and love resides. Different things appeal to different people. Your goal is to know what works for the person. Your ability to pay attention is critical to knowing someone. For instance, when you listen to how people spend their time and money, you will know how their mind works.  The truth about life is that one can love without giving. If anyone is not giving you, he is giving to someone or to another cause.

Do you know what makes one happy? Yes, it can help to battle depression. Some people derive satisfaction when they give. Do you know that giving can be contagious? Yes, this principle is applicable when one pays it forward.When people experience a generous kindness, they are more apt to treat others with the same sort of benevolence.

When it comes to giving, what’s important is the motive or intention. There are several reasons why most people give money, some give money for charitable purpose, some give because the law of God admonishes us to give, some give just to encourage employees or to inspire people, some give because they have the feeling or mindset the person they give might give them tomorrow or the children of the receiver will reciprocate in the nearest future, or because they want to sow presence so that their benefactor can notice them. Some people even give because it gives them joy, and this is where I belong. As a matter of fact, one of my weak points is that I can be too kind to a fault. The list is literally endless.

Giving is relative. Some people might give their money, some give their time which can be priceless, some might give loyalty, others might give expertise on a subject matter. What is important is to know the value of the blessings you are receiving because in the grand scheme of things, none is more important than the other, it all depends on the needs at the said time. For instance, if someone is hungry, the best gift you can give the person is food or money to buy food. The person might not necessarily need words of consolation, neither does he need academic tutor nor spiritual teachings.

According to Dr. Yomi Garnet, a celebrated author, “one thing is certain in life, there are hidden blessings that come when one gives genuinely. It’s sad to note that we live in a world where some people find it hard to give.

In practical terms, prosperity is probably in two forms: There is survival prosperity, and there is Abrahamovic abundance. The way to proceed from the first to the second simply to become a channel of blessings for others. We do this by doing three things.: Giving to the kingdom of God, giving to the poor within His Kingdom; giving to the poor outside his kingdom.

The blessing of giving is priceless. Do you know the givers hand is always on top. I have always counseled my friends who complain when they give to put themselves in the position of the person receiving. Be happy you are in the position to give as opposed to receive. I don’t really think people love to beg even though some people have little or no shame when it comes to begging.

When it comes to giving and receiving, what’s important is to focus on the needs or desires of the giver in order to receive. For instance, if you want to receive funds from a fortune 500 company, when you are working on your proposal, it must align to their needs or interest. Several things motivate several people, so your ability to know what works for each person might be the icing on a cake.

It’s just like an employee who is looking to work in a multinational national company or any great company of interest, what the hiring managers might be concerned is to know how the employee is a perfect for the position, and this might entail looking at the skills, qualifications or interest which the intending employee will show he has given time, money and resources to show he’s capable, competent in addition to be being consistent on how his works. While the potential employee will have to show reasons why he should be hired, and all these will point to one thing, giving.

In conclusion, if you desire anything in life, consider giving it your time, whether it involves setting up a business, beginning a relationship, studying a course, serving God, or building your body; consider giving it your time and resources, and trust me, the blessings will come back to you. That’s the blessings of giving.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value: Appreciate Your Challenges by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Human beings are bound to face challenges whether they like it or not. The challenges of life are inevitable no matter how one tries to avoid them. According to Bill Cosby, “the only way to avoid criticisms is to say nothing, do nothing and be nothing”. This is impossible because they will surely talk about you whether you talk or not. This is simply how the challenges of life work. You can’t shy away from problems. In fact, the only time we stop facing challenges is when we are dead.

Just to let you know how one can’t shy away from problems in life; imagine one driving a car, and he is extremely careful, no matter how careful he might be, he can’t control the steering of another car behind or in front of him. The best he can do is to manage his car to minimize potential danger.

In the same way, problems and challenges will surely locate anyone no matter how careful they are on issues of life.

Challenges come in different forms; some of them are financial challenges, academic challenges, emotional challenges, health challenges, marital challenges, professional challenges, spiritual challenges and personal challenges. The challenges of life are unlimited, and managing these challenges is what makes us rational and informed beings. The way these challenges are managed can either mar or make the individual.

Overcoming these challenges are not as easy as one may think. This is where trusted friends, advisors, and mentors, who can assist in navigating through these challenges come to play. These people must be people who have our interest at heart, but more importantly, they should be people who are knowledgeable and experienced in such cases or subject matter. This is because a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other people’s mistakes.

In relating with trusted people, it’s advisable for one to be vulnerable. This can be challenging, but then it’s the risk one must take to get assistance. Vulnerability helps one to connect with people especially when one is relating with a matured mind with emotional intelligence.

Regardless of how one’s challenges are, challenges are not bad per se, there are certain good things that come with challenges. As a matter of fact, challenges help to sharpen one very well, it gives one a new perspective to life, help learn new lessons, creates opportunity, strengthens and makes one stronger.

As human beings, we experience adversaries of some kind which can lead to downfall. These falls can be devastating, and can make one feel traumatized. However, we should view these falls with gratitude rather than dismay. This is because of the inherent lessons contained in them. Isn’t it true that our disappointment sometimes can lead to our appointments, just like our trials can lead to our triumphs and our pains can metamorphose to our gains? If only we can maximize the inherent messages and lessons they contain.

To show you how you can benefit from your challenges and pains, sometimes, things will go bad for things to happen just like gold and oil will have to be refined and processed to be resourceful. In the same vein, milk goes bad to become cheese, wheat and corn go bad to become whiskey, gracie juice ferments to become wine, garbage goes rotten and becomes compost.

So, in the grand scheme of things, sometimes in life, things did not go wrong so you could get anxious, depressed, or suicidal. They went bad because it is part of the process of progress. Sometimes, the best comes after the worst. You will get better if you don’t get bitter. In some cases, things can go bad due to the mistakes and choices one made, and as you may know, actions have corresponding consequences.

In conclusion, I don’t know what may have gone wrong in your life; I don’t know the mistakes you may have made, neither do I know the challenges you may have experienced, but the good news I have for you is to stay strong, appreciate the challenges and the associated lessons it brought your way, while believing in God to help you to overcome. This is because sometimes in life, the creator of heaven and earth brings these challenges to us for reasons best known to Him. So when you can’t change it, kindly appreciate it with love because at the end of the day you will smile cheerfully.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: You Must Work by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Every living being must eat to stay alive – fact; anyone who wishes to pass an examination must study – fact; he that must stay healthy, must pay attention to his health – fact, and whoever is desirous to earn money must work. The list is endless. The idea here is that life is governed by principles – a case study of whatever one sows, one must reap. As a matter of fact, when one abides by the principles governing anything, the principles are bound to work for them.

These principles are like faith. It is whatever you believe that will work for you. Let me elaborate a little; if someone goes to the hospital, and the doctor gives him a pill, if the person gets better, it is not necessarily the pill that heals the person, though it plays a role, what healed the person is the person’s faith. This is because if you don’t have faith in the pill, it won’t work. Healing can be spiritual sometimes. One must be healed in the mind first before the physical healing takes place. It’s just like a man of God praying for a sick person, the person will have to believe in the prayers before it can work for him.

The importance of this analysis is that before any success can be achieved, one must do the work. It’s unfortunate however, that some of us need opportunities, benefits, resources, money, and results, but are not ready to do the corresponding work. In this journey called life, one must work. It’s only when you work, you will be celebrated. Work comes in different ways; all that is important is for one to understand their assignment, and work diligently to pursue it to a logical conclusion.

It’s instructive to note that there’s nothing like a big or small work. Every work is necessary when there’s teamwork. Just like the father needs the son for errands, the son also needs the father for provision and protection. So, in any capacity you find yourself, just know that you are valuable.

To understand how value works with respect to dignity of labour, imagine the human system, if the anus decides to shut down, the whole body will be uncomfortable. Every part of the human body is indispensable. They must all work together for the human body to function at its optimal capacity. This is the attitude we should have when we are working.

The importance of work cannot be overemphasized. Your work makes it easier for people to identify with you especially in this 21st century when technology is the new normal. It’s easy for one to search the internet just to find out about somebody’s work. Just imagine someone pitching for funding to a fortune 500 company or making a proposal for funding to do some work on youth advocacy, but there’s nothing on the internet to testify to that effect. If you want to prove your passion for youth advocacy, there must be work to that effect.

On a personal note, I do tell my friends, I’m a lawyer by training, public speaker by interest, author by inspiration, and youth advocate by passion. The interesting part is that if you look me up, you will find relevant information about all the above-mentioned interests of mine, but the youth advocacy will be outstanding. So, you can see that my work speaks volume.

If anyone wants to assist you, the blessings will come from the work you do. This is because manna does not fall from heaven, men are the vessels. Do you know that when we pray to God for blessings, opportunities, favors or money, God answers with a plan. Yes, the plan is the associated work that one must do.  Let me share a practical example, if you want a chair, God will not do a miracle to provide you a chair, but God will provide the materials in the form of wood for you to make the chair.

It’s sad to see lazy people, who just believe in miracles without corresponding work. Some just believe God will send manna from above. Don’t get me wrong, these opportunities do come by occasionally, and when they do come, one will know it’s a miracle.

The journey of life isn’t easy, one must continually work smart and believe our work will align with our desires.

Sometimes, when we work, we don’t know when the results will surface. In some cases, we don’t even see the results. In such cases, one shouldn’t be deterred, provided you are doing the needful, the work will one day speak for itself. I remembered when I was working on my first book, it was like hell because of the intense research that went into the manuscript, but today, when I look back, I thank God for the grace.

When one work, one should also have the faith that the work will produce results. Sometimes, the answer to our prayers is tied to the work we do. One might be searching for answers in different areas, but the answer might be beside us. Sometimes, we look for destiny helpers, benefactors, opportunities, etc., what we fail to understand is that all we seek might be connected to the work we do. So, imagine when one decides to do nothing, how will something happen?

Furthermore, while it is good to pray, it is also good to work because they go together. While prayer releases God’s favour, work unleashes the force of man. We must be willing to work for what we pray for.

In conclusion, when it comes to work, have the mindset that at the end of the day, we will be remembered for the work we did. So, ask yourself, which legacy would you want to be remembered for? When you can answer these questions, you will be intentional with the kind of work you want your children to remember you for while you were on earth.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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