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Adding Value: Dealing with Failure by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friend,

Failure is one the dreaded, if not the most dreaded fears of the average human being. It competes favourably with poverty. Just like wealth and success boost the confidence of a person, so does failure humbles a man’s psyche. However, the ability to manage success as a skill, needs to be understudied to avoid failure.

In recent times, I have learnt to ask resourceful people more about their failures more than their success. As a matter of fact, people who have failed more have more to share than people who have succeeded. The irony of life is that most of the time, people tend to give more credence to those who have succeeded more than those who have failed.

Uninformed people see those who have failed as people with dirt or dent on their lives. In some cases, they are seen as nothing to write home about just because they failed. It’s instructive to note that failure is not alien to anyone. Everyone, at one time or another, experiences failure. What some people fail to understand however, is that the people who failed have a lot more to share than those who succeeded.

Just to put it in perspective, imagine a divorcee giving you a genuine advice on marriage; imagine a politician who has failed in several elections and later succeed giving you an advice on electioneering campaigns; imagine a businessman who failed in business up advising you on how to run a business; imagine a student who has failed a class advising you how to do well in  a class. The list is literally endless. One thing is certain, all these failures will come from the place of love, pain and fulfilment and will be properly metaphor into gain if properly utilized.

I have failed many times more than I have succeeded and this failure has humbled me.  If only our failures and mistakes are written on our face, no human will have a clean face. It’s so sad many people have allowed their mistakes and failures to define them.

To understand how to deal with failure, let’s explain the concept of failure with the word FAILURE.

Fall

Literally, when you fall, it means you have failed or fallen from an exalted position. Before one fails in life, one would have fallen. In contemporary times, uninformed people in our society tend to laugh at people who have failed elections, failed exams, failed in academics, failed in leadership positions, failed in marriage and failed in their personal and professional vocations. When you fail in life, the next thing is to acknowledge it and try to maximize the opportunity to bounce back.

Acknowledgement.

It’s only a fool who will do the same thing over and over again and expect to get a different result. When you make a mistake, the best thing to do as a leader is to acknowledge it and learn to avoid the mistake again. Failing to acknowledge your mistake will make people perceive you as having pride especially when one tries to apportion the blame to another person. When you acknowledge your mistake, the next stage is to investigate the mistake to avoid repeating it again.

Investigate.

This is the beginning of learning. When people investigate, they are trying to know more to verify certain information or acts. Without investigation, there will be little or no consequences. When it comes to failures, investigating a mistake doesn’t mean one is trying to find a fault, rather one is trying to know how to avert a similar problem.  When one has truly found the answers to a problem, one will begin to learn from the experience what truly happened.

Learn

Nothing elevates one than learning from one’s mistakes. When you learn from your mistakes, you will be poised to unleash your potential by turning your mistakes into your friend. It’s quite unfortunate that many people don’t take time to learn. Learning will strategically position one to avoid mistakes. It’s said, a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other people’s mistakes.  When one learns, one will understand how systems and structures work. When you learn more, you stand a better position to earn more especially when one has learned from their mistakes.

Understand

Failure in life comes with understanding. When one fails, one will see and understand life differently. Just to put this in perspective. Imagine a man who has fortune and has been a tremendous blessing to people and now lives in penury. Many of his beneficiaries will gradually slide to the next benefactor. Again, imagine a politician with influence as a Governor, Minister of President controlling and managing people and resources, one can’t imagine the beehive of people that will be trooping to his house and office daily seeking for favor. The day the man loses his position, he will understand the meaning of loyalty because the majority of people who were around him were simply there due to vested interests. If you call them sycophants, you won’t be totally wrong. This is simply the reality of life. Moral: Failure in life will give you understanding and wisdom.

When you experience this understanding, the best thing that can happen to you will be to realign with the right people with the right energy. Going back to the people who abandoned you literally means; one hasn’t learnt much and is about to make another terrible mistake.

Realign

Realignment comes with attraction. Just like kind attracts people with similar vision, purpose and energy attracts. Failure in life will make one practice alignment by taking stock of what’s working in and what’s not working. When one experiences failure, going to the same people, and situations that led one to the same mistake simply means the person hasn’t aligned well. When proper alignment has taken place, the next big stage is to evolve. This is where all the pieces will be put together to make failure have a meaning.

Evolve

When one evolves, it means one has metamorphosed into a new being. To evolve means one has grown and no longer operates from the place of lack. During my formative years in the USA, I used to be a horrible writer, but when you juxtapose the Henry Ukazu of 2010 and the Henry Ukazu of 2024, you will know the difference is clear. When you evolve, you will see a lot of transformation in your life.

Failure makes one evolve into a new beginning. To understand how one evolves, a newborn baby crawls before walking and running. In a similar vein, a child attends kindergarten school before attending elementary, middle school, high school, and college. All these are processes of evolution. Failure makes one evolve and transform into a better person. Failure has many parts and components and when they have been assembled, they will make one to evolve to a more refined and reformed being.

In summary, as you journey through life, see failure as an experience as opposed to a mistake. In that way, you will learn from it.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Everyone Needs a Surgical Room to Succeed by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Every human being is endowed with natural fitness to perform optimally any given assignment,  or endeavour. These capacity fitness are, but not limited to mental, physical, social, academical, financial, spiritual, and emotional. When any of these great areas is lacking, an immediate vacuum which needs to be filled is created. To fill this vacuum therefore, one will need to perform a kind of surgical test to ascertain the source of the leak.

To put it into perspective, imagine a sick person with variety of symptoms, who can’t specifically say what the actual problem is; the best thing for them is to see a doctor, undergo some tests for proper diagnosis. The test will give an informed insight into what’s going on in the person’s body system.

This is simply how the surgical room of success works. All major work is done inside the room before healing takes place. As human beings, we all need to continually visit the surgical room to not only examine ourselves, but also, to develop ourselves. Yes, we need the surgical room to develop not only ourselves, but our craft.

In this surgical room, we don’t need a battalion, no, we just need the right people with the right vision, mindset and attitude. People who share similar values and goals. People we hold in high esteem. In this room, we don’t need much voice, but a lot of silent meditation to aid in fashioning our craft. A much more clearer scenario is the case of a web designer, who works at the backend to fix a website. When he is done, the work is made public.

The same principle is applicable when a blogger is working on an article. During the process of writing the article, he is alone with his thoughts reading, researching, writing and editing, and when he is done, the article will be published.

This is simply how life works; we all need silence to go through our phases. During this stage, we don’t need to be there for everyone, just the important people in our life who understand the surgical seasons, experience, and experience we are going through.

Above all, a critical area that all progressive humans need to pay great attention to is the health and mind. Both of them play a critical role in taking anyone to the next level of life.

Let’s look at the surgical room from another perspective; without good health on your side, there’s little anyone can do. Without a good functioning mind, there’s little anyone can do. And without God on your side, one is literally helpless. That’s why it’s very important for people to take a cursory look into their lives to see where they are missing the dots.

To effectively do this, one will have to go to the surgical room to critically examine his health, profession, psyche finance, social and emotional output among others to see if there’s a leak anywhere. One may be wondering why this is important; the surgical room is where major surgeries are performed.

In the surgical room, only experts are allowed because mistakes are not allowed, no matter how insignificant. Only people with eye for details, listening ear and most importantly supportive hands are allowed in the surgical room.

In the journey of life, we all need the surgical room to move to the next stage. For the surgical room to be successful, one would need to subject his own personal life to surgical operation, and this entails seeking a place of solace for self examination and reevaluation. In this surgical room, one needs to practice the art of silence and meditation to hear the inner still voice speaking to them.

One of the reasons most people find it difficult to get to the next level of success is because they are surrounded by many dissenting voices, which are living rent-free in their minds. This voice makes it hard for them to hear properly. It should be noted that in the journey of life, nobody knows you more than you know yourself, therefore, it’s important for one to be conscious of what to avail themselves to. This is because if one allows everyone to rent a space in their head, confusion will set as numerous voices will speak simultaneously and incoherently.

Imagine, if you are the owner of a house, it will be difficult for anybody to tell you what to do because they know you have been able to figure out what you want, and this is simply how life works.

Therefore, the surgical room for success is silence and concentration. You speak less,  and do more.

In one of my masterpieces, I shared the six pillars of success namely: family, health, finance, spirituality, vocation/career, and personal development. As human beings we must continually strive to attain these six pillars by reevaluating and reexamining our lives on a continuous basis, and to effectively do this, one needs to apply the surgical principle of silence.

Again, one might be wondering how the surgical room of silence works. Let’s imagine a case where God wants to talk to you, he won’t organise a conference call to talk to you, He will speak to you privately, and this can only be done where you are in his presence seeking him silently via meditating or either when one is praying and worshiping him, or one is listening to what he’s saying via meditation.

It’s worthy of note that in the surgical room of success, nobody will be there with you except the doctor and his team. Again, that’s simply how life works, you don’t need much crowd; you only need the right people. In some cases, you need to work alone because it’s better to have one trustworthy friend than one million fake friends.

In conclusion, for the surgical room of success to work efficiently and effectively, one needs to be silent for the operation because nobody, and I repeat, nobody will save you. One will have to purge himself of the toxic substances by way of detoxification to rejuvenate.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value: Start Small, and Grow Big by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

There’s no doubt that everyone wants to make it big in life though it takes quite a lot to achieve that no matter the field. However, some have become famous by starting small, some others made it big with little effort, some made it with recommendations, while some made it big by the work they did, which was greatly appreciated by the universe.

On a personal note, when I published my first book Design Your Destiny, I was literally unknown in any space, but because the book was so good, it got lots of reviews and recommendations from New York City Schools (High Schools and College), government institutions, communities and resource persons. I was even interviewed several times by television stations, appeared on the New York Times and got invitations from the United Nations; all because of one book.

Ordinarily, one would have to write couple of books before trending as a celebrity author, but here I am getting recognition as a first time author. It should be noted however, that before I wrote the book, I have been sharing inspiring articles focused on human capacity development, with the mission of inspiring the younger generation on my personal blog.

In the journey of life, everyone is encouraged to start small if the means of starting big is unavailable. Not everyone will have the capacity and competence to start big; one would have to learn the ropes. That’s why I have always counseled anyone,  who intends to make an impact in the society or the world in general. It’s always good to do what you can with what you have. Do not wait for the perfect time to strike because done is always better when best is not done.

Sometimes we want the dust to clear before we begin, but we fail to understand that the ship doesn’t wait for the storm to calm before it sails. Starting small entails learning the ropes of life that are applicable to one’s profession, vocation, academics, career, business, health or general existence.

It’s generally known that the journey of a thousand miles begins with one right step in the direct direction. So, to start small, one needs is to figure out what they really like, and have the courage to begin. The journey and process might not really be easy, but with the right amount of discipline, determination and consistency, a progressive mind will overcome the challenges.

In starting small, preparation is needed. When the needful is done, it’s only normal for the right opportunities that will make one big to manifest all things being equal.

Again, in starting small, failures, disappointments, setbacks, challenges and unforeseen events will definitely creep in, but one must not to give up because of the big picture. The imperfect nature of life explains why rooms must be created for mistakes, and subsequent corrections.

One of my mentors once told me, “done is better than perfect when perfect is not done”, meaning that it’s better to give your best no matter how bad it may appear to be. So don’t wait for the atmosphere to be set before you strike.

One of the advantages of failing first is that it will give you experience which can serve as a story in the near future. According to an author, Sonia Sotomayor, “success on its own is a reward, but failure is a great teacher too, and to be feared”.

As humans, it’s normal for one to always feel bad when they fail or make mistakes, but if we can think out of the box, there are many inspirations and lessons we can learn from the failures. Here is my moral advice: It’s good to fail fast.

According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, a Ghost Writer, “refuse to capitalize on your gains, anyone can do that. The important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires a certain degree of intelligence”. This statement corroborates with the statement of Sonia Sotomayor, which dwells on how failures can shape one if we learn from the lessons. So, Dr. Garnett is basically advising we gain more from our failures than our gains because not everyone can manage failure.

There have been scenarios where some people took their life because of the associated shame they will experience because of the stigma of their mistakes simply because they can’t deal with it. Let’s contrast the case with someone who has experienced success, the ecstasy will be over and beyond. Almost everyone can manage it unless people who allow success make them proud as opposed to being humble.

When we make it big, it’s only normal for friends and family to come around to celebrate success. The mistakes some friends and family make is to allow people who didn’t contribute to their success to take a greater chunk of their blessings more than the people who actually did the work. I’m not insinuating family and friends are bad, no. What I’m trying to say is that there should be balancing.

In my sojourn and experience of life, I have come to understand the importance of starting small, sometimes that’s the best thing to do because it will give a good background of the foundational theories and experience one needs when he gets to the top.

 I have always told my mentees that I didn’t get to where I am by being stupid. This means I am very intentional at the way I live my life, and that translates to my business. I didn’t become a prolific and creative writer overnight, I didn’t become an author of two books overnight, I didn’t become a great public speaker overnight, nor did I become a good communicator overnight. I started small and overtime I began to learn from experienced people whose books I read, listened to their speeches and associated with them at close range. All these enabled me to grow in my space. This is one of the benefits of starting small. It will prepare you for the big task.

In conclusion, in whatever one desires to do, please consider starting small by doing the needful. By doing so, one will not have to explain the foundation of their wealth, experience and lifestyle that made them big.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value: Be Like the Eagle by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

It is everybody’s desire to be successful in whatever field of endeavour he finds himself. It can be in career, family life, business endeavors or personal development. But there’s absolutely nothing good that comes easy. Everything in life involves a lot of hard work, smart work, dedication, discipline, network, sacrifice, prayers, and determination among a whole lot if one is intentional to succeed.

Of a truth, success is not for the faint-hearted. In all honesty, everyone wants to be ahead of everyone, especially contemporaries and funnily enough, the average human being sometimes have a bit of ill- feeling when competitors arise or seem to outsmart them either with better quality or price. The good thing about this however, is that it makes one sit up.

Now, this brings us to the essence of today’s article. For anyone to be ahead of their competitors, they must fly like the eagle. Eagles are known for their powerful build, sharp vision, and fearless nature. They are highflyers, capable of soaring to great heights, and gliding for extended periods. Eagles are also known for their tenacity, using storms to their advantage to gain altitude. Other notable characteristics include their strong talons and beaks, used for hunting, and their protective nature towards their young.  These are some of the qualities that make it unique.

The eagle is not regarded as the king of the sky for fun, no. The eagle flies so high because that’s where it gets a chunk of its strength. This ability enables the eagle to take its prey and predators alike to it’s abode where it will have enough emotional and physical strength to dismantle them.

I will be sharing characteristics of an eagle to enable us know why we ought to be like the eagle if we want to soar.

VISION

The eagle has a sharp vision. Their vision is so precise. They can see farther than any animal.  They possess exceptional eyesight, allowing them to spot prey from great distances. As human beings, we must have eagle eyes to know what we really want, and what we don’t want. Vision allows us to go for what we desire and deserve. When we have vision, we won’t wait for anyone to tell us when to strike. We flow through the wind despite the waves and heavy current and associated challenges. When our vision is precise, it will give people clarity to understand how they can assist us.

Let’s take a closer look at great leaders of this world who have come and gone. There are many great leaders that came and went but one characteristic that is common in all is “Vision”.

Vision is a successful leadership characteristic

You must have a vision that guides and leads your team towards the organizations or societal goals. The vision must be big and focused. A big, focused vision will produce big results

FLIGHT

Eagles are known for their ability to soar and glide, using their large wings to their advantage. Eagles can fly up to an altitude of 10,000 feet, but they are able to swiftly land on the ground. At 10, 000 feet, you will never find another bird. If you find another bird, it must be an eagle.

An eagle doesn’t mingle around with the pigeons. It was Dr. Myles Munroe who said that. Pigeons scavenge on the ground and grumble and complain all day long. Eagles are not. They fly and make less noise waiting for opportunities to strike their next prey or glide with the current of the storm.
Great leaders are problem solvers. They don’t complain like the pigeons do. They love to take challenges as the eagle does when the storm comes.  As human beings, we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

It’s always good for one to take any fight to their home ground where it will give them advantage over their predators. For instance, a fish is stronger in water, but weak on land, a lion is stronger on land, but weak in water, a monkey is strong on trees but weak on air. Just like an eagle is strong on air and weak on water and land. That’s why it always takes its prey to the sky where they have greater advantage to shine.

As human beings, we also must know what we are naturally good at, the ability to know this will enable us to maximize our strength and work on our weakness. We can only do this when we know ourselves and what we are naturally good at. Our ability to focus on our expertise and what we are naturally good at will make us unique and ahead of our contemporaries.

TENACITY

The eagles are known for their ability to withstand storms and use them to their advantage, rising above the challenges.  Watch an eagle when a storm comes. When other birds fly away from the storm with fear, an eagle spreads its mighty wings and uses the current to soar to greater heights. The eagle takes advantage of the very storm that lesser birds fear and head for cover.
Challenges in the life of a leader are many. These are the storms we must face as leaders to rise to greater heights. Like an eagle, a leader can only rise to greater heights if he takes up the challenges head on without running away from it. This is yet another leadership characteristic.

As humans, we all will experience challenges and setbacks, however, the ability to apply strength will go a long way to show how determined we are to overcome the hurdles that pose as challenges.

FEARLESS

An eagle will never surrender to the size or strength of its prey. It will always give a fight to win its prey or regain its territory.
Successful leaders are fearless, so we are expected to fear no man, but respect all men. They face problems head on. We are supposed to have the eagle fearless mindset regardless of how big the problem may appear. Confront your fear and rise or face your fear and run. The choice is yours.

VITALITY NATURE

One of the strongest characteristics of an eagle is their vitality. Eagles are full of life and are visionary, but they find time to look back at their life and re-energize themselves. This happens at about the age of 30. What happens is that when the eagles reach the age of 30, their physical body condition deteriorates fast making it difficult for them to survive.

What is interesting is that the eagle never gives up living, instead it retreats to a mountaintop and over a five-month period goes through a metamorphosis. As humans, we are expected to reexamine ourselves, retreat to a safe zone. We can do this by fasting as Christians, we can also do this by learning new skills, volunteering our time and seeking for mentors who can hold us by the hand to show us how the appearance of life is not the reality of life.

In conclusion, as human beings, we are encouraged to be like an eagle if we want to scale through life.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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