Adding Value
Adding Value: Face Your Fears by Henry Ukazu
Published
6 years agoon
By
Eric
Greeting dear Friends,
I will start this article with a quote from Les Brown: “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” Growth is a very hard process. Growth comes in different shapes and sizes, but what is important is we are growing. Some people grow with joy, while others grow with fear. Regardless of where your fear is coming from, it should be accepted with joy because fear itself comes with its own blessing if only you can see from the brighter side of life. Fear itself is indeed necessary for our growth.
We all have fear living in us. Politicians have the fear of the unknown, and entrepreneurs of succeeding in their craft. We all have dreams and visions we will like to see come through.
What really is fear? Fear can be defined as a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat that occurs in certain types of organisms, which causes a change in metabolic and organ functions and ultimately a change in behavior, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events. At various points in our life, we have experienced fear. The fear of the unknown can be regarded as one of the worst forms of fear. In politics, politicians are always skeptical of what their fate might be during the election because of the unstable nature of politics. Entrepreneurs and business managers are always afraid of how their products might be accepted in the market. Leaders sometimes are afraid of how their decision might affect the company, students are afraid if they’ll pass their exams, pregnant women always experience anxiety and some element of fear about their unborn child. Parents have fears about their children safety and also how they’ll turn up to be responsible citizens. Some travelers are always afraid of flying in the air, by road or sea. While some have a phobia for traveling. The list is just endless.
Fear has limited many people from reaching their potentials. Fear can be likened to taking a risk. It’s often said that great achievers are risk-takers. These sets of individuals look at their circumstances and dare to succeed. They are not deterred by what they are experiencing, rather, they are concerned they are where they are going. These are the people that are called visionaries because they conquered their fear. It’s instructive to note that the fear of taking risk is risk itself.
Let’s discuss how we can face our fears.
Nothing is permanent. Just like life has its own up and down, fear itself is only temporary if we allow it to have to its position. Regret is what lasts forever; but the unfortunate thing is that sometimes, we all allow fear to last for a long period of time. Fear will respect you if you position it where it is supposed to be. But if you allow it to conquer you, you’ll forever regret it and that’s one the saddest you want to regret in your life.
You have the control of your life, nothing even your parents, friends, employers, spouse, and whatever you may have in your life can control you only if you allow it to control you because you know what is good for you. I will share a personal experience with you, I once quit a job I had due to the interest and vision I had. To a lot of people, it was an irrational and senseless decision because there was little or no backup plan. In reality, I had the fear of the unknown. To be honest, my only and greatest confidence was that I was going to see my grandmother to seek her blessings for my life. I remembered speaking to my mentor before quitting the job, and he asked me if my mind was at peace when I was quitting the job, I said yes, and he replied, that’s all that mattered. Fast forward the journey to two years time, I got two rare blessings that changed the course of my life (married a rare gem which my grandmother prayed for before leaving this sinful world and securing a priceless opportunity from a major financial institution which ordinarily, wouldn’t have occurred if not for the transient period of set back when I quit the job). The two lessons learned here are: Don’t try to be fearless, just don’t allow your fear to make decisions for you, and, always have peace of mind whenever you are about to make a decision.
It is important to note that a little bit of fear is normal. In fact, fear helps you to instinctively protect yourself from harm. For example, if you have fear of failing exams, you’ll be inspired to work hard harder. Also if you look at the people who want to see you fail, you’ll be inspired to work harder and humble them with your success.
How to over overcome Fear
Be engaged:
You can challenge your fear by engaging it in it. For instance, if you are afraid of public speaking, the only way you can overcome it, is by engaging in public speaking. Your fear of public speaking might prevent you from advancing in your career and that can be frustrating. So challenge that fear by facing it squarely. You can start small by speaking to family members, friends who you are comfortable with or even friendly associations or communities. You can also have an internal conversation with yourself about what your fears are stopping you from doing, and consider if it’s a problem that you need to confront.
Evaluate Risk Level
Every risk has to ascertained to know if it is worth undertaking. Keep in mind that just because something feels scary, doesn’t mean it’s actually risky. Educate yourself about the facts and the risks you actually face by doing the things that scare you.
Create an Action Plan
The key to facing your fears is to take one small step at a time. Going too fast or doing something too scary before you are ready can backfire. This basically means you have to be prepared for any opportunity you want to explore. For instance, if you are about to quit your job, it’s imperatively important for you to get sufficient experience, information, knowledge, skills, and confidence to begin the next phase of your life unless you longer have peace of mind on the current job. There will be some element of fear that’s okay because a moderate amount of anxiety is good and it’s important to keep moving forward. Moral: Don’t wait to take a step forward until your anxiety disappears. According to some school of thought, social parlance, never wait for the coast to clear before you move. Sometimes it’s good to swing through the wave.
Another way of creating an action plan is preparing before execution. If you want to develop your public speaking skills, you can eliminate fear by standing in front of a mirror and give a two-minute talk, record yourself giving a talk and watch it back, practice the talk in front of a spouse, family member, friend, and friends. You can also watch videos.
Seek Professional Help
Having mentors, experts, or even friends can play a significant role in eliminating fear from your life. If you have a specific phobia, you may not be able to conquer your fears on your own. If your fears are debilitating, or you aren’t having much success facing them on your own, seek help from tested and trusted persons. Treatment may involve talking about the thing that scares you, practicing relaxation strategies, and managing your anxiety as you face your fears head-on. A therapist, however, will help you go at a pace that is comfortable and healthy for you. It is always better to know whose hand you are holding physically or emotionally. This helps with allaying of fears for the rest of your life..
Exercise.
Exercise has a role in eliminating fear. It can refocus you (your mind can only focus on one thing at a time). Whether you go on a short walk, running, jogging, etc it will help you to be comfortable. You can also use humor to deflate your worst fears. This is mostly applicable in public speaking. Isn’t it true that when you joke about something, it can help to reduce tension and anxiety?
Don’t Be a Victim of Fearing Fear Itself
You are what you feel and it is only a matter of time for what you feel to manifest. If you have fear, don’t show it, rather show the courage in your eyes. Nothing has power over us except the one we give it. So if you give fear power, it will overpower you and resonate in all parts of your body.
Assume the Worst
A good way to overcome fear is by preparing for the best and expecting the worst. When you get to a stage in life that you don’t care about what people say about you, you have literally reached a high level of freedom. Even at work, once you make your boss understand you don’t really care if you fired why doing your legitimate assigned work to the best of your ability, he or she might respect you the more internally especially when you know your job very well as opposed to showing him/her fear by playing to the gallery. When you showy boss an element of fear, he/she might be tempted to take you for a ride because your life literally depends on the job, that’s why it’s not always good to show your fear.
You Are Not Defined by Your Fear
We are not defined by our circumstances, rather we are defined by what we overcome. Many people have faced so many challenges, but they were able to overcome with uncommon strength. The only positive thing fear does to you is that it gives you positive exposure if you learn from it. Fear is false evidence appearing real, it’s up you to face it and overcome it.
In conclusion, what are you afraid of? It’s hight you overcame and succeed.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via henrous@gmail.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Be Selfish with Your Time by Henry Ukazu
Published
6 days agoon
December 20, 2025By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
Time is one of life’s most precious gifts. Time is priceless. Time is life. If anyone wants to really bless you, they will give you their time. Ignorant minds don’t know the importance of time. They prefer someone who will give them money as opposed to time.
Don’t get me wrong, money is good. But this is how I see it. If anyone gives you money, it’s like they are giving you fish, but if they give you time, they are teaching you how to fish. That’s why inferior minds see money as everything. They don’t know that if money is the only thing they have, they are poor.
Just like access, relationship, and value are currencies, time is also a priceless currency if properly managed. Most people erroneously believe that money is the only instrument to appreciate people, but there are scenarios where people have used time to get the attention of resource minds. Let me share a practical example; one of the best ways to get the attention of great men of influence is by using your time to serve them.
These great minds have seen money and wealth, and as such they value something different which money can’t buy, that’s where genuine loyalty comes into play. On a personal note, most of the great people I have been privileged to meet on earth were simply because of how I invested and engaged my time in their business, life and work (online and offline). In some cases, I used money to open the door, but I used my time to sustain and solidify the relationship based on the value I offered them.
Imagine if I don’t have value to share with them, my relationship and impact will not be as high as it is celebrated, because money without value is limited, but value if properly managed can metamorphose into wealth. Why am I saying this? Time is much more resourceful than money. Moral: Anyone that gives you time appreciates and loves you.
Ignorant minds see time for what it is not. Time is life. Let’s think about it for a minute, one’s life can change for good just by being in the right place and one can lose a life changing opportunity for just being late for an event of interest. Now, you see why time is life.
Great men, who have truly succeeded in life, judiciously used their time. They practiced the principle of quality over quantity meaning that they can spend quality time learning a particular thing, which is capable of attracting the attention of great minds even if it means spending time and resources because of the influence it will generate in their life. This is opposed to spending quantity time on projects which might not produce the desired result.
Most great minds adopt the Pareto Principle, which is known as the 80/20 rule. This rule states that roughly 80% of outcomes come from 20% of causes, highlighting an imbalance where a few key inputs drive most results. These great minds are not concerned with mundane things. They leave crumbs for lesser minds. Great minds understand the power of delegation; they use money to buy time even when it is not convenient to do so.
Being selfish with one’s time is not a sin. One must do what works for them because your life is your life, no one can share it with you; your sorrow is your sorrow, no one can share it with you; and your joy is your joy, no one can share with you. This is why it’s good to do what works for you? In the real world, nobody really cares for you. You must fight both your real and silent wars.
When you are selfish with your time and resources, majority of people won’t really like you in the beginning, because they expect you to be there for them, they however, fail to realize you also have a life to build, and also needs help.
When you work on your purpose, you will know what’s necessary and make valuable use of your time. You will be intentional in doing the needful to fulfil the purpose of God in your life, and that entails being selfish with your time and resources.
Visionary people are selfish with their time because they know they have a purpose to fulfil. That’s why it’s always good to stay focused on your purpose and vision. Many people may not understand your calling; that’s fine, they don’t have to understand it because when God created you and gave you your purpose, it wasn’t a conference call. So, when he reveals something for you, it’s not for everyone to understand.
When you see a man who is focused, you’ll know because he will be intentional with the people he relates with, and how he uses time. Be so jealous of your time that people will respect you when you share a minute of it with them. In the society we live in, people will value you just the way you present yourself. If you present yourself as one, who is unserious with life, that’s exactly how they will treat you.
The irony is that anyone who has been selfish with their time and is able to succeed, receives congratulations and attention from those, who had despised him in the past. Again, this is why it is good to do what works for you, because at the end of the day, everybody will be alright.
Did you know that when you give people too much of your time, you give them the ability to prevent you from fulfilling your unique purpose, which only you can achieve. Almost everyone wants a piece of your time, but the truth is we can’t be there for everyone.
In summary, if you want to be serious with your life, you must be selfish with your money, skills, talent and time. Failure to do this will make people take you for granted.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value
Adding Value: Model Success to Be Successful by Henry Ukazu
Published
2 weeks agoon
December 12, 2025By
Eric
Greetings Destiny Friends,
The year is gradually coming to an end, and most people, organizations, companies, associations and countries are already taking stock of how they fared during the year. While some may have succeeded, others may have failed in some areas, but one thing is certain, they all had an experience and learned something. This experience can be negative or positive depending on whovwas involved.
It is important to note that great companies, organizations, families, schools, employees, artists, footballers and others did not become great overnight; they learnt from others, who are more knowledgeable and experienced thereby adding to their own knowledge. That explains why most times, people talk about role models and mentors. Role models and mentors are path-finders because they guide with both their theoretical and practical experiences. A philosopher once stated, that ‘if at all I have attained success, it is because I stood on the platform of those who have attained that height’. It’s instructive to know that great men have great habits.
As human beings, there are several things that make us happy. It can be family, friends, careers/vocations, finance, health, physique, or even relationship with one’s creator. Every human being, except for a sadist, likes to be happy. But even a sadist derives a certain level of joy and satisfaction when they cause other people pain. However, being happy takes a lot of time and resources. For instance, when one spends time with courses they like, they tend to be happier, and when one works hard to have a decent life and decides to give himself a good treat, happiness is bound to radiate in their hearts.
Did you know that one can attract happiness just by looking at the lifestyle of other people who are living happy lives? It’s just like one who wants to achieve success in a particular field, whether in marriage, business, leadership, career, personal development, health, finance, family or even spirituality. The best thing the person can do is learn from the person, who has succeeded in that area. According to a sage, “great minds have great habits, they carefully select their partners, a step into their life will make a difference in your life, absorb their tapes, read their books and you’ll be great like them”. This message is simply talking about modelling success.
Another message here is that everyone needs a success model to be successful. Nobody succeeds on their own. We all learnt from someone. Someone gave us an opportunity to succeed. We are not better than everyone. We are just lucky to strategically be in the right place, probably say the right thing, have the right product/service, or even have the opportunity of being recommended by a resource person. The reasons are numerous.
To succeed in life, we must model success. All around are people who have achieved the kind of success anyone desires. All that needs to be done is to go close to them by being intentional. Seek an opportunity to learn. A caveat however, is never approach with an opportunist’s mindset.
Even if they are not in your field of study, look for avenues to get their attention. You can decide to get them a gift, study their work online and engage with them. Associate with their friends or anyone who knows or has access to them. If you have an opportunity, attend any event they might be attending or even speaking, endeavor to show up because one’s presence speaks loud. It could be the defining moment.
I can’t over emphasize the importance of modelling success. A lot of time, success doesn’t come to one, it created. People must endeavor to create the world they want to live, and by so doing, create their own success. Personally, I have modelled success in several ways. Whether I am in church, at work, school, or social gathering, I try to speak the language of my environment and project the message I want my perceived audience to get.
It’s disheartening to see people who complain and weep like Prophet Jeremiah and do literally nothing to help their life. It’s instructive to note that nobody will save you; you must save yourself. It’s only when you have helped yourself that help will locate you. It’s generally stated that heaven help those who help themselves’.
Let me share a practical example of how this works. I vividly remember when I was working on my first book. In all sincerity, I didn’t know what I was writing, I just flowed with whatever came to my mind. By the time I was done, I had a hard time editing and publishing it due to limited funds, but the universe was kind enough to bring destiny helpers to support me, and today, the book is a recipe for modelling success.
In conclusion, decide today to adopt the strength and strategies of your perceived role models. If you can’t have much personal contact with them, read their books listen to their tapes and attend their speaking engagements. Appreciate them through your note, test messages, or support their work. Trust me, they’ll notice and reach out.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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Adding Value: Heal and Move On by Henry Ukazu
Published
3 weeks agoon
December 6, 2025By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
One of the most unpredictable entitles in life is time. Yes, time is very unpredictable if considering its true essence.
Did you know that time heals? No matter what may have happened during one’s lifetime, the pain, no matter how great, will fizzle out with time, and life will move on. However, one’s strength and capacity for endurance will also be tested. Have you ever lost a loved one and think you will cry forever? Well, a time will come when you will completely adjust, and only miss the person when certain realities set in.
Has anyone offended you, and you think you can’t forgive? Well, if the principle of time heals and reveals, are applied, it will get to a stage, where they would automatically heal, and move on, especially in matters of the heart and relationship.
Have you also ever been betrayed? If yes, just give it little time because at the appointed time, the truth will be unraveled because time will definitely reveal itself. According to a sage, no matter how long it may take, the truth will always triumph over lie because truth is an open wound which only conscience can heal.
Why am I saying this? I have come to realize that in the journey of life, nothing lasts forever. While some people feel they have it together, they fail to understand that what they have is temporary because even their life is not guaranteed. According to Dr. Dele Momodu, an accomplished journalist, “the child of a certified pauper can become a man of means tomorrow if properly educated”.
Life has a way of humbling and elevating people, that’s why it’s always good for one to be humble before life humbles them. I once had a conversation with one of my revered mentors whom I call the sage. He shared a lesson which I won’t forget in a jiffy. We attended a burial ceremony, and I observed that the family members of the deceased were mourning bitterly. He said, “Henry, do you know why the family members are weeping profusely? I said it’s because they lost a loved one who might be the breadwinner of the family, the peacemaker or even the most resourceful person with the touch of favor and grace to get anything done.
He said, all my reasons were valid, but one thing is certain, the person won’t be replaced again because there’s no one like him and there will never be anyone like him. He went further to say, the only solace the family and friends will have is the legacy and impact he has made in the lives of those he touched.
I paused for a minute to think about what he had just said, and it was only then that it occurred to me that a vacuum had been created. While I was pondering over what he said, he dropped another bomb. He said, ‘Henry, did you see that man lying lifeless on the ground?’ I said, ‘yes sir’. He said, ‘do you know what that means?’ I said no. He said, the dead man is saying, ‘I am here today and you will be here tomorrow’. In all honesty and sincerity, those words hit me real hard. My mentor went on to say, what the dead man is actually saying is that as you leave this place today, go and make peace with everyone, but more importantly make an impact in the lives of people.
While I was still processing what my mentor said, he added, let me tell you while I invited you to attend this burial. He said, everyone who attended this funeral will move on after the burial ceremony, and what will be left of the deceased is a memory. You see, regardless of the ovation he accrued when he was alive, everything will be history. That statement really hit me hard, and that’s so true because life will always move on regardless of what happens, so it makes no sense for one to try to impress someone. Just do the best you can and then move on. The moral here is that nobody is indispensable no matter how good they are.
When we juxtapose this with the reality of life, we’ll realize that life is very simple, it’s us humans that make it difficult. Did you know that no matter how rich, valuable, resourceful, wealthy or famous one is, when the person is no longer available, they might not really be missed that much, because people will move on to the next person within a short period of time.
Let’s take a case study of a celebrity, who shares an update online. The post might trend for sometime and after a while the ovation will cease, and people will move to the next breaking news or update. The same is applicable to a tweet or post someone makes on social media. The post might gain some traction, but after a few hours or days, the story will be over. People will move on to the next post. Such is life.
The hidden truth about life is that life will move regardless of how one plans it. People will move on, companies will move on, parents, friends, siblings, and even detractors will move on to the next target. So, it makes no sense for one to try to please everyone.
According to Elbert Hubbard, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” This literally means human beings are insatiable by nature; you can’t please them.
So, as one journeys through life, it’s always important for one to figure out what’s relevant and what’s not relevant and then decide what is the best use for your time at any point in time.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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