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RELATIONSHIP: The Changing Dynamics of Wooing

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It may not be common yet, but the dynamic of wooing no longer leans majorly on the side of men. In fact, women in the western world, for instance, have so much perfected the art that their men do not feel burdened with strategizing and lying for the chase any longer.

Interestingly, the trend is now crossing over into African societies and especially the Nigerian culture. Old African cultures usually operated at the level of betrothal, before young men and women snatched autonomy from their parents regarding their romantic or matrimonial choices. Since the turn of the 21st century, African parents hardly even have a 50% say in the partner their ward chooses; youths take the liberties to court whoever their heart desires.

There have always been elements of hyper-gamy and patriarchy in how the human relationship has evolved over time. How it came to be that women expect to be wooed and convinced by a man is still largely mysterious. It was not a law but it has been an unspoken rule of engagement which generation after generation has strangely accepted and followed to the book. This trend has made even some women reluctant to get or seek pleasure by themselves, replacing it with an expectation to be patronized by men.

As another aspect of sexual evolution would have things change, feminism, for starters, seized a larger part of women’s autonomy from the claws of patriarchy and handed it back to them. Women in the western worlds began to see that they can get the kind of men they want too and not just the men getting the kind of women they wanted.

Before social media or telecommunications was a thing, men developed so many tactics to catch the attention of the kind of women they wanted: and the more they practised wooing the better they got at the art of seduction. Others who are not able to swing women in their favour went a little overboard and would sometimes rather harass the women who rejected their advances with catcalls than take being rejected in good faith. In worse scenarios, other men too took ownership of women by force deploying rape and sexual abuse as a tool of control. The balance was badly skewed – men risked to venture into women while the women shuffled and had the last decision on the choice.

Perhaps, the advent of technology has helped to begin to tilt this dynamic towards women now. The fear of rejection which many women initially faced when wooing men is now being dampened by the mask which social media provides. Surely, a rejected advance on social media is still less traumatic than in the physical world where such a woman might have to walk away with heavy feet if she got rejected. But gone are the days of women sending men mere signals, mild seduction and flirtations – which men naturally fall for – and expect just that to get the job of wooing done. In fact, men who get advances from women are now beginning to ask for more – to be properly wooed.

While a larger percentage of women still vouch they will never move over to the men, expecting their perfect gentleman and prince-charming to come out of the blues and court them; quite a good crop of women are beginning to accept the reality of the changing times and equally adjusting.

It is a good time to be alive; to witness that women can also initiate active responsibility in going for their choice of men without being stereotyped or judged as slutty.

 

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Peter Obi Confirms Defection from ADC, Blames Toxicity, Lack of Solidarity

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Candidate of Labour Party in the last Presidential election, Mr. Peter Obi, has confirmed that he is on his way out of the African Democratic Congress (ADC).

In a personally signed statement released on Sunday, Obi said he arrived at the decision after deep reflection, describing the move as necessary despite “every constraint.”

“I woke up this morning after my church service with a deeply reflective heart… and felt compelled to share these thoughts,” he wrote, adding that many people do not understand the “silent pains” and private struggles faced by those trying to serve in Nigeria’s political space.

Obi painted a grim picture of the current political climate, describing it as increasingly hostile and discouraging.

“We now live in an environment that has become increasingly toxic, where the very system that should protect and create opportunities… often works against the people,” he said, pointing to intimidation, insecurity, and persistent scrutiny as defining features of the system.

The former Anambra State governor also expressed disappointment over what he described as a lack of solidarity, even among close associates.

“Some who publicly identify with you privately distance themselves or join in unfair criticism,” he noted, lamenting that humility is often misinterpreted as weakness, while compassion is seen as foolishness.

Obi, however, clarified that his decision was not driven by personal grievances against key leaders within the party. He specifically exonerated ADC National Chairman, David Mark, and former Vice President, Atiku Abubakar, saying neither treated him unfairly.

“Let me state clearly: my decision to leave the ADC is not because our highly respected Chairman… treated me badly, nor because… Atiku Abubakar, or any other respected leaders did anything personally wrong to me,” he said.

Instead, Obi attributed his exit to what he described as a recurrence of the same challenges that plagued his time in the Labour Party, including internal divisions, legal battles, and external interference.

“The same Nigerian state and its agents that created unnecessary crises… now appear to be finding their way into the ADC, with endless court cases, internal battles, suspicion, and division,” he stated.

He further lamented that sincere contributions are often undervalued, with individuals becoming scapegoats for broader systemic failures.

“Even within spaces where one labours sincerely, one is sometimes treated like an outsider… as though honest contribution has become a favour being tolerated rather than appreciated,” Obi added.

Despite stepping away, the former governor said he continues to face criticism and attacks on his character, even as he seeks to pursue national development with sincerity.

Reflecting on Nigeria’s broader challenges, Obi questioned societal values that, according to him, often misinterpret integrity and prudent management of resources.

“Why is doing the right thing often misconstrued as wrongdoing in our country? Why is integrity not valued?” he asked.

Obi reiterated that his ambition is not driven by a quest for political office but by a desire to see a better Nigeria.

“I am not desperate to be President… I am desperate to see a society that can console a mother whose child has been kidnapped or killed,” he said, highlighting issues of insecurity, poverty, and displacement.

He concluded on a hopeful note, affirming his belief in Nigeria’s potential for transformation.

“Yet, despite everything, I remain resolute. I firmly believe that Nigeria can still become a country with competent leadership based on justice, compassion, and equal opportunity for all,” he said.

“A new Nigeria is possible.”

Source: Daily Trust

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Peter Obi Weeps for Nigerian Workers, Says Minimum Wage Can no Longer Guarantee Modest Living

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A frontline presidential aspirant on the platform of the opposition African Democratic Congress (ADC), Peter Obi, has regretted that the minimum wage can no longer guarantee a most modest standard of living in Nigeria.

In a post on his X handle on Friday to mark Workers’ Day, the former Governor of Anambra State said this has happened as inflation, rising food prices, transportation costs, and economic hardship continue to erode the value of honest work.

He said no nation can truly develop beyond the strength, productivity, and wellbeing of its workforce, stressing that the progress of any society rests on the quality of its human capital, the skill of its people, and the commitment of its workers.

‘When workers suffer, the nation suffers. When workers are empowered, the nation prospers,” he noted.

The presidential candidate of the Labour Party (LP) in the 2023 general elections said a productive nation must be built on justice, fairness, and respect for labour, adding that “it is the Nigeria we must work together to achieve.”

Obi said through democratic participation, the Nigerian workers have the power to shape governance and determine the future direction of the nation.

He, therefore, urged Nigerian workers to recognise the strength they hold collectively.

“But beyond their labour, workers also possess another powerful tool, their voice and their vote.

“They owe it to themselves, their children, and future generations to support and demand leadership built on competence, character, capacity, credibility, and compassion. By refusing to reward failure, corruption, ethnic division, and bad governance, they can help build a nation where hard work is respected and rewarded with dignity.

“With the support and participation of Nigerian workers, a new Nigeria is possible,” said Obi.

He saluted workers across the world, especially Nigerian workers whose daily sacrifices continue to sustain our families, communities, institutions, and national economy in the face of severe hardship and uncertainty.

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Attorney-General Asks Court to Deregister ADC, Accord, Three Other Parties

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The Attorney-General of the Federation has urged the Federal High Court in Abuja to compel the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) to deregister five political parties, arguing that their continued existence violates constitutional provisions and undermines Nigeria’s electoral integrity.

In court filings, the Attorney General contended that unless the court intervenes, INEC would “continue to act in breach of its constitutional duty” by retaining parties that have failed to meet the minimum requirements prescribed by law.

The filing stressed that the right to associate as a political party is not absolute and must be exercised within constitutional limits. It further argued that it is in the interest of justice for the court to grant the reliefs sought by the plaintiffs.

The suit, marked FHC/ABJ/CS/2637/2026 and filed at the Abuja Judicial Division of the Federal High Court, lists the Incorporated Trustees of the National Forum of Former Legislators as the plaintiff.

The defendants include INEC as the first defendant and the Attorney General of the Federation as the second defendant, alongside five political parties: African Democratic Congress (ADC), Action Alliance (AA), Action Peoples Party (APP), Accord (A), and Zenith Labour Party (ZLP).

At the center of the issue in the case is whether INEC has a constitutional obligation to remove parties that fail to meet electoral performance thresholds set out in Section 225A of the 1999 Constitution (as amended) and reinforced by the Electoral Act 2022 and INEC’s own regulations.

The plaintiffs argue that the affected parties have persistently failed to satisfy the constitutional benchmarks required to retain their registration. These include winning at least 25 per cent of votes in a state during a presidential election or securing at least one elective seat at the national, state or local government level.

They contend that the parties performed poorly in the 2023 general elections and subsequent by-elections, failing to win seats across key tiers of government, yet continue to be recognised by INEC as eligible political platforms.

The plaintiffs maintain that this continued recognition is unlawful and undermines the integrity of Nigeria’s electoral system.

In the affidavit supporting the suit, the forum’s national coordinator, Igbokwe Raphael Nnanna, states that allowing parties that have not met constitutional requirements to remain on the register “is unconstitutional, illegal and a violation” of the governing legal framework.

The suit asks the court to declare that INEC is duty-bound to deregister such parties and to compel the commission to do so before preparations for the 2027 elections advance further.

Beyond declaratory reliefs, the plaintiffs are also seeking far-reaching orders that would bar the affected parties from participating in the next general elections or engaging in political activities such as campaigns, rallies and primaries. They further request injunctions restraining INEC from recognising or dealing with the parties in any official capacity unless and until they comply strictly with constitutional provisions.

Central to the plaintiffs’ argument is their interpretation of the law as imposing a mandatory duty on INEC. They argue that the use of the word “shall” in the Constitution leaves no room for discretion once a party fails to meet the stipulated thresholds.

In their written address, they rely on statutory provisions and judicial precedents to contend that electoral performance is an objective condition that must be enforced to maintain discipline, transparency, and accountability in the political system.

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