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Adding Value

Adding Value: Your Time is Coming by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Time is one of the two greatest assets we have in our possession. The other is health.  Both are difficult to regain when they are lost, especially time, and so must be jealousy guarded. One can easily get back lost items such as money, friend, job and property but no one prays to lose time and health because to an extent, they are irredeemable. When they are lost, the possibility of recovering them is very slim.

If you want to know what’s valuable to someone, look at how they spend their time. Most people will generally spend their time on what they value. That’s why you see people supporting causes they are passionate about.

Anyone who wants to succeed must endeavour to make judicious use of their time, and that entails building their craft from ground zero. Sometimes, one might do the work, and the result might not come as planned or expected. There’s tendency therefore, for frustration to set in. However, if one is able to think out of the box, he will understand that success is hard work in progress. If you have done the needful, and the result doesn’t kick in, relax, maybe the time is not ripe yet. Be advised, there’s no guarantee of success except when one has done the needful and the timing is right.

The importance of time cannot be overemphasized. I once read an interesting illustration that aptly highlights the value of time, and why it must be properly managed and maximized. Here it is: “Imagine there is a bank account which credits your account every morning with $86,400. It carries no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What will you do? Draw about every cent of course.

Each of us has such a bank account, and it is called time. Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off as lost whatever of this you failed to invest for a good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day, it opens a new account for you. Each night, it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day’s deposit, the loss is yours. There’s no drawing against “tomorrow.” You must live in the present on today’s deposit. Invest in it so as to get from it the utmost in good health, happiness and success. The clock is running. Make the most of today.”

In life, we all have things we dream and aspire for, opportunities we hope to get, and problems we hope to turn around. Sometimes we get discouraged and disappointed due to the travails of life. It’s instructive to note that these challenges and setbacks might be part of the grand process in the scheme of things.

It should be noted that there’s a set time for everything, just like all wounds heal differently. Sometimes, one must go through the desert and wilderness before their announcement. The challenge most people will have to deal with is how to cope during the challenging times. If you are faithful while in the wilderness, you will be trusted with abundance. So, it’s imperative for one to be at one’s best during the waiting time. This is because one will have to be anointed to be appointed.

Most times, we are desperate for opportunities, don’t get me wrong, it’s good to hunger for success, but one must be mindful he cannot be faster than his shadow. It’s instructive to note that when your time of success has come, nobody can stop it.

Everyone’s success has a time zone, just like a pregnant woman has nine months to incubate her baby. In the same vein, a dog, goat, elephant, lion etc. all have different time zones to carry their young ones and their life span is also different.

Again, just like a tree takes time to grow and produce fruits, success in life takes a process. I will strongly advise you to continue to work on your craft, regardless of the obstacles and challenges that might be posing as threat to you. Sometimes, you must make mistakes to get it right, and these mistakes can be programmed for your success without one’s understanding.

It’s instructive to note that success has timing. One will have to nurture it by doing the work. Just like a farmer will have to cultivate a land, plant crops, water it, add manure and fertilizer, remove weeds, and then harvest. A progressive mind will have to do the needful to reap the fruits of his/her labour. The sad part is that one might do everything and still lose out, and if that is your case, relax, that is not the end of life. When your vision is limited, your success will be limited.

Everything has its season. Your opportunity will come looking for you, the right people will come through when the timing is right. Pending when they come, please continue to add value to your life by learning and having a great attitude. You have to be ready to meet opportunity.

Everything in life has a set time for it to be unleashed. However, one must take the first step by building the right craft. When you diligently build your craft, you will be surprised to see the opportunities that can come to you. On a personal note, my first book Design Your Destiny has opened numerous doors for me, and announced me in several ways.

To appreciate the right timing to harvest, one will have to plan and prepare well. This planning and preparation entail building capacity. It’s just like meeting a mentor or great man, one must be patient to understand the person.

It’s sad to see people who are concerned about the success of others thinking that it’s over for them, especially in this era of social media where people showcase “success”. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to share progress and good deeds, but don’t be concerned about others’ success, rather see it as an inspiration. The man/woman you are admiring might be admiring you also without you knowing.

Just to put into perspective, imagine a car that was made twenty years ago, today it’s no longer admired by lovers of cars because of new innovations. Do you see why you have to be patient because of your success because yours might be better when your time comes. Don’t compare your journey to others because you don’t know what their process and trajectory is like. Sometimes, the people you are admiring might be your forerunner who will prepare the ground for you by the mistakes they will experience.

Sometimes, it’s not the waiting that matters, it’s your attitude during the waiting period. On numerous occasions, I have experienced the benefit of exercising patience and I have also paid the price for not being patient.

It’s sad to see some people complaining they did the needful, played by the rules, avoided social vices, yet they are still struggling. If you are in this category, just know the fingerprint of everyone is different, you might decide to engage the act and get caught up and that might be game over for you.

In conclusion, as you journey through life, use the traffic light to understand the timing. The green signifies progress, the amber (yellow) signifies caution while the red light signifies stop or danger. When one can decipher these instructions, one will be able to navigate life properly.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Phases and Stages of Life by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

The school of life is an institution no one can graduate from. It is equated to marriage where new things as well as surprises are the order of the day, occurring on a daily basis. However, there are ways to live through life, and one of them is to accept each day as they come.

Life is truly great and enjoyable if we understand it and accept this truth. There’s no doubt that life is such a great challenge, and we must work hard and smart to overcome the challenge. Once we acknowledge it, nothing really matters any longer because life becomes an infinitely easier project to pursue.

As human beings, we will be tested and tempted. One’s ability to overcome each test and temptation will set one on a higher pedestal. The book of life made us understand there’s time for everything. A time to cry, and a time to laugh, a time to sow and a time to reap,  According to the Book of life “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.”

One thing is certain if one looks at the timing- they all come in stages and phases. When there’s misplaced priority, success appears like mirage. One’s ability to manage each phase will strengthen one.

Life comes in several stages. When a child is born, the child will learn to crawl before learning how to walk and run. The same is applicable for a student who is interested in education, he will attend high school, college and post graduate studies. These are all stages of life.

The same phase is applicable in relationships and marriage. During the dating and courting stage, the relationship is different, immediately the parties marry, the tone changes. Marriage has three stages namely: Romance (or Honeymoon) stage, Power Struggle (or Disillusionment) stage, and Real Love (or Mature/Conscious Love) stage.

Let’s analyze each stage:

Romance/Honeymoon: (The “Falling in Love” Phase)

This stage is characterized by high intensity, passion, and bonding. At this stage, partners focus on similarities and overlook flaws. At this stage a partner might step on the other partner and instead of getting hurt, the partner will smile and say something like: I love the way you stepped on me, or step on me harder, it makes me endure the love. At this stage partners do everything together.  This stage usually lasts from a few weeks to a couple of years.

The first three to five years of marriage can generally be regarded as the most challenging part of marriage, especially the kids start coming in; if it’s not properly managed, the marriage might hit the rock.

 Power Struggle/Disillusionment (The “Reckoning” Phase)

During this stage, the “rose-colored glasses” usually come off, and partners notice flaws and differences, leading to “disillusionment, disappointment, and early conflicts”. It is at this stage kids start coming up and the challenge of life starts hitting up. The stage is often characterized by struggles with control, communication, and frustration over unmet expectations. Many couples usually get stuck here, if proper is not applied, it might end the relationship.

Stage 3: Real Love/Mature Love (The “Conscious” Phase)

At this stage, the couples have seen it all. They have been through all stages of life and have seen it all. There’s literally little or nothing that can affect marriage at this stage. It’s only unimaginable and unbecoming acts that lead to the fundamental tenets of marriage that can make the marriage hit the rock.

At this stage couples have trained their children through colleges, and some may have married. Couples will be able to laugh over their acts and start to bond again.

At this stage, couples have been able to navigate their conflict and have learnt to accept their partner’s flaws and choose to build a stable, loving, and mature relationship. Their focus is usually to build a deeper commitment to their marital vows, finally accepting each partner for whom they are, and working together to create a conscious and intentional partnership.

The outcome is usually a sense of safety, connection and lasting love: A sense of safety, deep connection, and lasting love.

In business, the principle is not exempted. An entrepreneur will begin a business, grow it, attract customers, hire employees and then institutionalize it. All these stages come with several phases if one is intentional.

An employee who is hired as an entry level position will have to prove his worth by producing measurable results to walk through the corporate ladder to become Chief Executive Officer, Chief Operating Officer, Chief Financial Officer or one of the higher ups. This position doesn’t come ordinarily; one must have earned it.

In conclusion, regardless of what stage one is experiencing or facing, one thing is certain, this too shall pass, and we shall overcome. So, just hang in there.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Be Fruitful by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

To be fruitful is to be productive, profitable, and successful in all areas of your life. When one is fruitful, he will attract many opportunities and values. When we are fruitful, we won’t be barren because we will be producing fruits and results with our work. Even the book of life said no woman will be barren in your land. That’s being fruitful.

Fruitfulness permeates every area of our life. When you are fruitful, your life, marriage, business, academic, ethics, relationship/network will flourish. Our business must be fruitful to survive, otherwise it will be out of business. We shall discuss several areas where one can be fruitful.

Parents

The joy of every father is for the child to be greater than him. Any father that wants to be greater than his son is not a good father in my understanding. Parents, mentors, government, teachers, leaders of faith, etc. all want us to be fruitful.

Let’s take a case study of parents. They sacrifice their time, resources and health just to give us a decent life. They do it because they want us to be successful in life.

Personally, I watched my late father and mother deprive themselves of the luxury of life just to give me and my siblings a decent life. My late parents never had the opportunity of having a decent education, it won’t be out of place for one to say they are unlettered, but they knew the value of education.

My late dad will always say, he’s not concerned about building houses, or living a luxury lifestyle, to him, those are secondary needs of life. His primary concern is for his children to have a good education. My late dad will always say assuming he’s educated, he would have excelled higher in life.

My late mother is not an exemption. I vividly remember one day my late mother said to me, her colleagues are buying jewelry, shoes, clothes, making their hair, etc. to fit into trends, but she’s not concerned about that, her major concern is for her children to have a decent education and look good.

Most people don’t understand the inspiration behind why I do what I do today. My late parents were and remained my biggest supporter. Apart from going to heaven, my greatest goal is to make my late parents and children proud. The moral of this analysis is my late parents sacrificed even their life for me and siblings just because they want us to be successful and fruitful.

Mentors

Mentors are not left out of this equation; mentors can be regarded as gatekeepers because they have paid the price of success. It is the fruitfulness of mentors that attracts values and mentees to them. When a mentor accepts a mentee into his fold, he’s simply telling the mentee, “I want you to be successful, I don’t want you to fail. However, it is important to state that before a mentor can accept to mentor a mentee, the mentor would have seen some potential in the mentees.

It’s instructive to mention that there are five types of mentors namely:

  • Position Mentor: People follow you because they have a right to follow you which can be because of the position you occupy.
  • Permission Mentor: People follow you because you allow them. For example, in relationships when you decide to allow people to build relationships with you.
  • Production Mentor: People follow you because of what you have done for the organization or association. This is result oriented.
  • People Development Mentor: People follow you because of what you have done for them.
  • Pinnacle Mentor: People follow you because of who you are or what you represent. The question now is where do you belong?

For the umpteenth time, I am a product of mentorship. My mentors have really shaped my life.

Teachers

Teachers are not left out. Teachers are generally regarded as professional educators who play a critical role in fostering student achievement, personal growth, and social development. They are seen as the “lifeblood” of the education system, often serving as mentors, role models, and agents of social change.

There are many components of teachers namely:

  • Professional Experts: Teachers are trained specialists in pedagogy (the art/science of teaching) and subject matter, holding degrees and certifications that qualify them to guide learners.
  • Facilitators and Mentors: Beyond delivering content, they act as guides who help students acquire critical thinking skills and knowledge, shifting from “information dispensers” to active facilitators.
  • Lifelong Learners: Effective teachers are viewed as individuals who continuously learn and adapt their practices to new technologies, curricula, and student needs.
  • Moral and Cultural Guides: Teachers are often expected to act as stewards of community values, maintaining student safety, and cultivating civic responsibility.
  • “Backbone of Society”: They are considered crucial to a nation’s social and economic development by preparing the future workforce. Above all, they assist in making us fruitful human beings.

Leaders of faith

The leaders of faith are regarded as the molders of the human faith because they help to build our faith. When the scripture says in Genesis 1:8, be fruitful and multiply, the scripture is also referring to them because they are regarded as shepherds. As Christians, we expected to be fruitful because our heavenly father is fruitful. Being fruitful here entails bearing fruits with our life and this entails using our life to attract people into the kingdom of God as evidence of our heavenly father who expects us to be Christlike.

Government

Let’s talk about the government. When a government is fruitful, it will reflect on the lives of her citizens, but when the government is performing below expectations, the citizens will be on the receiving end. The principal responsibility of the government is protection of life and security for her citizens. Every other thing is secondary. The government is also responsible for creating job opportunities for the citizens. However, it should be noted the government cannot create for all her citizens, and as such they provide an enabling environment for the private sector to thrive.

Employers/Supervisors/Leaders

These sets of people are regarded as people of influence. You need them at your corner, if you intend to move higher in life. Your employers and supervisors are regarded as your leaders. You can never outsmart them; the best one can try is to be in their good books and tolerate their excesses. When an employee is fruitful and exceeding expectations at work, they tend to be rewarded by their supervisors or employers because of the value they create and the problem they solve

In conclusion, whatever you do in life, please try and be fruitful.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Have a Winning Mentality by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

The mind is very powerful, so powerful that most people do not know what they possess. To this extent, some have given out their mind-power without knowing it. The power of the mind is akeen to a voice that speaks. This is because the human is more or less the strongest arsenal in everyone’s possession.

The voice brings freedom; it’s so inalienable that we can use it during elections, meetings, and where opinion matters. That’s why I strongly believe that as a human being, when you lose everything, you must not lose the power of your voice.

As a progressive being, there are many things that battle for our attention: family, friends, career, health, even our inner self demands attention. One of the greatest challenges we’ll have as human beings is how to apportion time to all of them because they all want to succeed. Failing to give them their due attention might lead to deficiency, which can ultimately lead to failure.

To succeed in all areas of life whether in business, academic, family, etc., one must have a winning mentality. The failure and success of anyone or project starts from the mind. When the mind has been conquered, it will be hard for anyone to succeed. That’s why one has to be intentional in what they consume whether it relates to the books they read, the association they keep and the thoughts they entertain.

We are shaped by our thoughts. According to Napoleon Hill in his book “Think and Grow Rich”, he stated, “whatsoever the mind can conceive, believe it can achieve it”. To succeed in life, we must have a winning mindset. One of the major problems we have as human beings is that sometimes we give up too early, especially when the odds are against us. But when we exhibit a winning mindset, failures, betrayals, setbacks, detractors, are seen as challenges and hurdles we must overcome to get to the promised land.

There are many examples of great minds who have exercised a winner mindset, a great name that comes to mind is Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln lost his job in 1832. He was defeated for state legislature in 1832. He failed in business in 1833 and was elected to the state legislature in 1834. His sweetheart died in 1835. He had a nervous breakdown in 1836 and was defeated for Speaker in 1838. In 1843, he was defeated for nomination for Congress. In 1846, he was elected to Congress and in 1848, he lost renomination in 1848. In 1849, he was rejected for land officer. In 1854, he was defeated for the U.S. Senate. Again, he was defeated for nomination for Vice President in 1856 and defeated for U.S. Senate in 1858. Finally, in 1860, he was elected the 16th President of the United States of America.

If we are honest with ourselves, it will be hard for one to forge ahead after experiencing numerous setbacks in business, family, health, career, and even personal challenges. I had to use Abraham Lincoln because he embodies the winner mindset.

The winner’s mindset is not only limited to one’s thoughts. It’s applicable to every area of one’s life. The winner’s mindset is more than just having good thoughts, thinking positively or even standing up when one fails. No, it entails more than that. The winner’s mindset is a lifestyle which preaches the gospel of doing what you must do and be appreciative of the feedback.

The winner’s mindset has the mentality of preparing for the best and expecting the worst. This entails one can’t be taken by surprise if their plans don’t work out well, and this means one will have to go back to the drawing board to fix it.

A good way to understand how a winner’s mindset plays out can be seen during football(soccer) competitions or track and field events where athletes have almost given up hope of winning the game or race.

A case of interest that comes to mind was during the 1996 Atlanta Olympics soccer semi-final competition where the Nigeria Dream team defeated the Brazil Seleção Brasileira de Futebol team in what can be considered one of the greatest comebacks in football history.

Let me give a brief overview, the Nigerian team were down with two goals. As a matter of fact, at a time during the match, the Brazilian team scored a fourth goal which was disqualified. The Nigerian team also had a penalty they lost. Going into the Semi final, the Brazilians were considered the favorites, and the Nigeria team were considered the underdogs. The odds were literally against the Nigeria team because the Brazilians had a formidable team.

Despite the Brazilian team leading Nigeria 3-1, the Nigerian team were able to bounce back during the last 15 minutes and won the game during the extra time. While is this story interesting and relevant? Well, in the game of soccer, nobody gives up until the final whistle is blown by the referee and the same applies in track and field events especially in track events. We have seen scenarios where athletes were almost at the finish line but lost out due to fatigue or one challenge or the other, the athlete fails to finish the race. It gets interesting during relay races.

Back to the soccer competition, one factor that helped the Nigerian team was the winner mindset. They didn’t give up despite the few minutes remaining in the game. They still gave their best and it paid off. It’s instructive to note that the average Nigerian always has the can-do mindset. The average Nigerian hardly gives up.

According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, a renowned ghostwriter, “To be a winner, you have to act like one. Winners don’t function the way most people do. They are always striving, always analyzing, and always questioning themselves. They tend to notice details that other people miss or overlook. Indeed, it is clear that great people have two things in common: a passion to succeed and an almost obsessive attention to detail.

In conclusion, the question we’ll have to ask ourselves is what kind of mentality do we have? Do you have a negative or positive mindset? When people see challenges, do you see solutions or opportunities to solve problems to create wealth? Do you have a growth mindset or poverty mindset?

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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