Dear Destiny Friends,

One of the fastest ways of making a headway in life is having the right attitude. A right attitude is priceless, and grants easy access to and from people. This is in clear contrast with a nasty attitude, which attracts distaste and repulsion.

Attitude permeates relationships with fellow human beings at work, school or public spaces. People can literally see our personalities, mindsets, behaviors through our attitudes.

As a Human Capacity coach, one of the qualities I look for in any person is attitude. When you show an attitude that portrays allegiance to money as opposed to learning, your potential of going far in life will be limited. You luterally show you don’t have the capacity to be loyal when the chips are down.

While exhibiting the right attitude, theee is the possibility of everyone not agreeing with you, however, it is advisable not to burn bridges because you never know when you will need them. You can only do this when you have the right attitude to life.

The right attitude is a currency just like relationships, network, social media and value though a lot of people fail ro realiae the fact. In my relationship with the high and mighty in society and men of influence and affluence, I have seen how they perceive and interpret certain acts. What ordinarily might not amount to anything from an uninformed mind might be the icing on the cake for the great man. For instance, if a resourceful person asks you to do a job, it will be wise to do it for free. Resist the temptation to ask for money.

That’s a great way of marketing yourself to the person involved. If they appreciate your work, you might be surprised to get a good opportunity that catapults you to unimaginable heights.

Also, if the great man asks you to do some work, instead of saying, this is an opportunity to make some cool cash, consider doing the work with the least cost just to make him a potential client. I recently met a young man online who is good with YouTube videos, I asked him if he could cut a video for me, the amount he called was on the high side.

Be advised, I know value has to be appreciated. What this young man didn’t know was that I was testing his attitude with the hope of working with him, but quite unfortunately he failed the test. I had to devise an alternative means to get it done for free.

This is why mentorship is very important. When you have good mentors, they will advise you to think and serve in the right manner. Most young people always operate from a lack mindset. They want to eat their cakes and have it. They fail to understand that there’s seed time and harvest time.

In my relationship with some of my mentors, I have bought nice perfumes, shoes, and luxury gifts to them in appreciation of their kind counsel. What’s important here is not necessarily the amount per se, but the mindset and attitude. Be advised, I didn’t ask for money. I had to show them via my mindset, I’m not a burden so they can feel comfortable relating with me.

As a matter of fact, one of my mentors once said to me, I give him more money than he gives him. When you juxtapose this with contemporary youths, most of them are merely concerned about what they can get as opposed to what they can learn.

It’s instructive to note that it is your attitude and not your aptitude that will determine your altitude. With the right attitude, people will see through your thought process and mindset. My late mother will always say, when someone is talking, look beyond their words and focus on what’s inside their heart/mind. It’s just like communication, your focus is not on what’s being said, but on what is not being said.

One a personal note, I have learnt to study the attitude and mindset of many of my mentors, elders, friends, mentees, and strangers and this helped me a lot to relate with them differently. When you know how people behave, it will be easy to work with them. Sometimes, some people wonder how I relate smoothly with people and get things done, it’s simply a matter of attitude. One of my mentors once said, a general doesn’t fight many wars at the same time, a wise general selects his battles. That’s having the right attitude and perspective to life.

To understand how attitude works. There was a young boy who behaved badly, and his grandfather, an elderly, wise pastor, attempted to counsel him. The Pastor said, it’s as if we have two lions inside of us. One is good and the other is bad, and they both demand our obedience to them. The boy responded, which one wins? The Pastor said, the one fed. What’s the moral here? In the journey of life, it is what we feed that grows. If you feed a lion, a lion will grow into a deadly beast. If you take care of a woman, she’s likely to act soft towards you all things being equal. In the same vein, when an evil desire demands to be fed, we must say no. This is true because what we feed ultimately controls us.

The interesting facts about this Pastor and young man are centered on perspectives. It is how you see life that life will unfold to you. When some people fail in life, while positive minds will see it as an experience in which they hope to learn something from it, negative people see it as failure which has limited them from moving to the next stage in life. Again, while some people experience pain differently, some others react negatively to pain and this in turn hurts them more.

In conclusion, I don’t know what your experience is, nor do I know what you are going through, but one thing I can guarantee you is that, when you have a great attitude, your disposition will surely change. You’ll go far in life when you have a nice attitude.

Today, I charge you to learn how to relate with people with the right mindset and see how your life will unfold for good. I will conclude with the words of Maya Angelou; “People may forget what you say, people may forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel” The only way to make people feel good is by having the right attitude.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Each delay is perfectly fine, for we are within the safe hands of God – Madame Guyon

Many principles, other than perception, govern life and living, and they include, no pain, no gain; seed time and harvest time; Karma and gravity. There’s however, another principle called delayed gratification. A thorough understanding, and successful application of these principles will yield positive results.

But uniformed minds are still at sea as regards how the principles of life work. They feel and think life is a function of chance, connections, forces of the universe and divine providence. Yes, all these acts play a role in influencing how life operates, but the ultimate and universal truth is that, apart from God, life is governed by principles. Even nature made it possible for a woman to conceive for nine months all things being equal, before she is delivered of her child.

It is worthy of note that there are principles that are endearing to the heart. They are the principles of honesty, integrity, courage, humility, love, responsibility, service, and discipline; all these make one to be unique. People will respect and work with you when they know you, and what you represent. They will adjust to suit you.

Here are a few examples that illustrate life as governed by principles:

Spiritual Growth Principle:

This principle refers to a belief in something greater than oneself. It involves finding purpose, meaning, and inner strength through connecting with a higher power or connecting with one’s own inner wisdom. It is what you believe that will work for you. If you keep thinking about lack, the spirit of lack will gradually come to you without knowing. But if you are thinking about wealth, riches, abundance, the spirit of greatness will gradually attract opportunities that will usher you into the reign you desire and deserve.

Did you know one can have spiritual delays? You may be wondering how spiritual delay can affect you. You may have received a prophecy or proclamation from someone in authority, revelation via dream or even parental blessing; that’s very okay, but its manifestations will come through if you abide by the rules governing the revelations or proclamations. But when you decide to do otherwise, the blessings and opportunities will be delayed.

Spiritual principles work with the mindset. It attracts what it likes. Spiritual growth encourages individuals to cultivate gratitude, find peace within, and seek guidance and support in their recovery process.

The Principle of Service:

One of the best ways to get an opportunity is through service. Sometimes, opportunities come to you when you decide to intern, volunteer or even within communities. Trust me, people see people who participate. This principle works with leadership. You can’t be a great leader without being a good servant.

Through service, individuals not only assist others in their own recovery journey but also experience personal growth and fulfillment. By extending a helping hand, individuals create a sense of community, find inspiration, and reinforce their own commitment to sobriety. Service can take various forms, such as sharing experiences, providing support, or volunteering organizations.

These principles serve as guiding lights for individuals navigating the path of addiction recovery, emphasizing self-reflection, spiritual growth, and helping others.

One of the principles of life that is not properly understood is the principle of delayed success. As human beings, we sometimes experience delays in our business, academic, marriage, career or vocation. We may be thinking it’s over, but it’s not yet over, rather, it’s been packaged for a better time. One may be thinking life, and circumstances may be working against their interest, but that’s not the true position of things. According to Joel Osteen, it’s a setup for success. When life doesn’t go as planned, instead of questioning the moment, learn to appreciate the moment, especially when you have done what you are supposed to do.

To understand the relativity of destiny and delayed success, one’s destiny can’t be denied, at most, it can be delayed, and if it’s delayed, it’s for your own interest. One may be exploring an opportunity which is yet to manifest, rather than become anxious and desperate, be happy it didn’t happen yet because you may not know what would have happened assuming it happened.

Furthermore, to appreciate how delayed success works, as human beings, sometimes, waiting can be traumatic. This is because delays can make one to be unnecessarily anxious, impatient, and annoying. If it is not properly managed, it can cause more harm than good. Sometimes, we may ask ourselves, for how long will this suffering end, we fail to understand that delay can be orchestrated by the creator or universe to teach us humility, serenity, strength, and patience.

Did you know that delayed success if not properly managed can affect future opportunities especially when one is concerned about the past as opposed to enjoying the present? If you live in the past, you are likely to be stuck in the “why” mode. That means you always think about why things happened. That’s a recipe for unhappiness.

If you live in the future, you live in the “what if” mode. That state of mind causes anxiety about everything that might happen in the future. Again, that’s a recipe for living a timid life. How about living in the present mode and enjoying the vicissitudes life is bringing to you? You may stand a chance to learn one or two things.

In conclusion, as you journey towards life, endeavor to learn the associated principles, and one you experience delay, also learn the associated lessons because, above all, the principles will help you to relate with any situation.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

When you truly study top performers in any field, what sets them apart is not their physical skill; it is how they control their minds –  Stan Beecham

There’s no gainsaying the fact that everyone loves the good things of life. Every human being loves the best academic, relationship, sports, luxury, vacation, entertainment, professional/vocation, can offer. The same goes for tangible things including food, gift items, clothings, automotive, jewelleries and a whole lot more.

In the same vein, every individual wishes to be the beat in whatever they are involved in. This is because when you are the best in what you do, the world will definitely seek you out.

To understand how this principle works, imagine a patient who is sick and he’s told the only person who can heal him is his supposed enemy who is an expert in a particular field. If the patient wants to live, he has no option but to seek the services of the said doctor.

Again, imagine a coach who is intentional in winning a major competition, he has no option of going to the competition with the best team regardless of whether he likes a particular athlete or not. The same principle is applicable in a professional work environment; your boss may not necessarily like you, but provided you are good at what you do, your boss will retain you. As a matter of fact, it is easier for a boss to fire an employee he likes, but who is not good in what he does than an employee he hates, but who is good in what he does.

The moral of this assertion is that when you are good at what you do, you don’t need much advertisement, your work will surely speak for you.

To get clarity and more insight on how being the best version of yourself works, during the on-going United Nations General Assembly (UNGA) conference, I observed that most of the speakers in the side-events were subject matter experts in their field such as climate change, health, education, security, youth affairs, technology, social development goals among others.

When you have distinguished yourself, it will be easier for people to work with you. It doesn’t matter if you have a degree or not, provided you can show results, and can speak, the world will resonate with you.

In my self-discovery journey,  I have realized that one’s profession is what they are trained to do like an attorney or doctor, but your vocation is what you are paid to do like skilled job or 9-5 – your ministry is your calling, that’s where you find your talent, passion and gift. To be the best version of yourself, one has to be intentional in working on their ministries, and that’s where they will be celebrated.

Did you know you can meet any resourceful person in the world just by working on your ministry or passion. To actualize this, you will need to adopt the pareto principle which says that 20% of the effort, or input, leads to 80% of the output. The goal of this principle is to recognize that most things in life are not distributed evenly.

The key to understanding the Pareto Principle is to identify that around 20% of one’s actions on the most productive tasks lead to the most success. This principle enables us to spot the few important things that are happening and ignore the mass of unimportant and mundae things. which are serving as distractions.

The Pareto Principle is very powerful and it is applicable in many  areas of life, including in business, relationships, learning, and marketing.

To become the best version of oneself, one must endeavor to discover their purpose and have the courage to pursue it with hard work, and believe in the power of luck to actualize it. I say this because it is very true for one to do all they are supposed to do, and still miss the opportunity because they don’t have luck. So, one has to be strategic in positioning themselves for the right opportunity. When you work according to your purpose and gift, it’s very easy for people to see how extraordinary you are.

Being the best does not relate to academics alone, one can be the best parent, employee, friend/partner, teacher, student, leader, athlete, and many more.

The best don’t really come to you by way of words, but actions. One can be the best by knowing himself and what’s unique about him. As a matter of fact, knowing oneself is the foundation of being the best version of oneself. It’s so sad that many people don’t really take time to understand themselves and that’s why they find themselves in a cobweb situation sometimes.

When you know who you are, your strength, weaknesses, personalities and what’s unique about you, you will stand a better chance to make the right choice because you will have clarity. This clarity will enable you to unleash your potential when you fail. It will also assist you to network with the right people, maximize your time wisely, appreciate who you are, and meditate day and night.

Being the best doesn’t always come easy. One must put effort to learning and doing the needful to get the desired attention and traction. Also, one must endeavor to get a mentor, who will advise and constructively criticise where necessary.

In conclusion, to discover what’s best about oneself, one will need to meditate, seek the face of God, know what makes them happy, explore other areas of interest by serving and volunteering in different capacities. Once you discover the niche that makes you happy, please spend valuable time to develop it because the day you discover your gift and what’s unique about you, that’s the day you become a millionaire.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com