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Adding Value

Adding Value: The Benefits of Failing by Henry Ukazu

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Greetings Destiny Friends,

There is nothing that pleases someone more than success, and there’s nothing that humbles one more than failure. You may be wondering if there is anything more painful than failure. Yes, regret will cause more pain than failure. Failure will give you ways to succeed. Regret will give you compounding regrets. The fear of failure often stems from a fear of experiencing shame or embarrassment.

In the journey of life, we all strive to succeed, but when our wishes, aspirations, desires, and hard work don’t pay off, we tend to feel disappointed. But what we fail to understand is that failure can be a blessing in disguise. There’s no doubt, failure can make you feel demoralized, helpless, hopeless, and anxious (both consciously and unconsciously) but you can always fight back.

Each of us have experienced failure in one way or another. Sometimes when we fail, we feel the world is conspiring against us. The moment that you realize that failure is not limited to you; you can motivate yourself to get up faster.

Failure means different things to different people. You can fail in business, marriage, academics, entertainment, personally or professionally. Failure can also mean a first attempt in learning. Failure is like a relationship. It is heartbreaking When there’s a heart break; it takes time to heal, both emotionally and otherwise. Getting over a failed relationship is heartbreaking.

Failure comes in different shapes and sizes. According to Edmondson, there are three kinds of failure

·         Preventable failure: a failure caused by deviating from a known process.

·         Complex failure: a failure caused by a system breakdown.

·         Intelligent failure: a failure caused by an unsuccessful trial.

The process of success is normally associated with first trial, then failure before you eventually succeed. One of the major causes of failure is lack of preparation and perseverance.

That you failed doesn’t mean you are a failure, it simply means you have not done what you are supposed to do, or you are missing something. Most of the great men and women that have succeeded are ‘great failures’. They failed many times before they succeeded.

You can’t let your failures define you. A major mistake most people make in life is that they easily give up at the first or second attempt, some other people let failures define them, but, you don’t have to let your mistakes define you. According to former American President, Barack Obama, “You have to let your failures teach you.”

Did you know that there are many lessons we can learn from failure? For instance, your mistakes can help push your boundaries. Mistakes are necessary for our success, if you are not making any mistakes, that simply means you are not doing anything interesting.

Again, if you’re not failing, you might be operating out of fear. Most people fail due to fear. Finally, if you’re not failing, you’re missing opportunities. The fear of failing can be a deciding factor for a progressive to take risks.

Again, President Obama noted that being successful is hard. You won’t necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who’ve had the most failures. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, “I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” No one’s born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song. You’ve got to practice”.

According to Brian Tracy, failure is a prerequisite for great success, if you want to succeed, double your rate of failure. You must come to terms that there is no success without failure. Most of the successful people in the world are the ones who have had the most failure. J. k Rowling who wrote Harry Potter, her first book was rejected 12 times because it was published. These people succeeded because they understood that you can’t let failure define you.

Failure comes in several stages, first it comes in the form of shock and surprise, then denial, anger and blame, depression, acceptance and then insight and change. To overcome failure, I will be sharing tips you can adopt. The first step in handling failure is knowing the true cause of a failure and how to overcome it. The second stage is by admitting the mistake. Failure does not mean your life is going to be over. You can learn from failure and be constructive. Whenever you fail, find inspiration and don’t give up. Be passionate about your cause and vision and surround yourself with positive people.

The best thing that you can do each time you fail is to learn from your mistakes. If you screwed up, don’t let that be your excuse to give up. Let your screw up be your motivation to try once again, and this time without making the same mistake.

Create a positive mindset:

Very few people understand the power of the mind. When you fail you need to make a conscious decision to be positive rather than miserable. If you do choose to be miserable, it will be much harder to get back up from your failure. However, if you cultivate a positive mindset, then you can move on from each failure without losing your enthusiasm and drive. If you do choose to be miserable, it will be much harder to get back up from your failure. However, if you cultivate a positive mindset, then you can move on from each failure without losing your enthusiasm and drive.

Tap Into Your Mentor(s)

Whenever you fail, get inspired by your mentors. We all have mentors, whether they are athletes, inventors, academics, entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, actors, politicians (joking), humanitarians, or authors. These people have been in the same position as us, and they can serve as a great inspiration during the tough times. So, when you are in the midst of failure; read about them, listen to them, and watch them. Find out what they did to overcome their hardships and apply that to your situation.

Celebrate little wins

Whenever you fail, before you judge yourself, write a list of your success. Sometimes we feel we are worthless when we fail. To combat this feeling, you need to write down a list of all the times that you succeeded.

In conclusion, Failure is rough, tough, and painful; however, it goes hand in hand with success. The way you handle your failure will determine if you succeed, and the tips above should help you cope with failure when it comes your way.

Here are a few quotes to keep you inspired if you feel like giving up.

“If I’ve learned one lesson from all that’s happened to me, it’s that there’s no such thing as the biggest mistake of your existence. There’s no such thing as ruining your life. Life’s a pretty resilient thing, it turns out.” -Sophie Kinsella

“You don’t drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there.” -Robert Jordan

“It’s failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.” – Ellen DeGeneres

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Denis Waitley

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” – Henry Ford

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” -Dale Carnegie

“I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed: and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I fail and keep trying.” -Tom Hopkins

“Do not ignore your failures, acknowledge them and use them to motivate you.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” -Joseph Kennedy

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Of Fear and Faith by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Fear and faith are two great rivals in the affairs of man. Where one is found, the other takes a leave. They can either make or mar any progressive being, and anybody who truly wants to succeed must know how to activate and control the inherent powers of these two great forces.

According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, “viewed from a spiritual perspective, fear and faith can be said to be opposites…and what each of them brings to our life is also opposites. Fear can lead to failure, while faith will lead to conquest”.

Question: Do you want to live in fear, or would you like to be associated with a conquered fellow?

One of the major killers of vision is fear,  and one of the enablers of life is faith. When one is possessed with the spirit of fear, it will be difficult for that person to achieve their heart desires, but when one’s spirit is activated with the right amount of faith, even the highest fear will fade out.

One may be wondering, how fear and faith can be positively activated to attract success, ab at the same time be the destruction of man, if not properly managed.

What actually inspires a success-oriented mind? Obviously, several things activate one’s mind. To a lot of people, their greatest fears in life is poverty. These sets of people abhor being poor can mitigate their success in life, and as such they put in all their efforts to succeed.

To some, their greatest fear in life is failure. They can’t imagine the shame and defeat that come with failure, and as such they put in their best in whatever productive work they engage in.

Wen fear becomes extrem, it turns to phobia and dreaded. It’s instructive to note that some people have the phobia of height and flying. Some others have the phobia of pregnancy, traveling on water, approaching, or talking to people due to rejection, making mistakes, threading on new ground, among others.

To conquer this fear however, one needs to activate the inherent power of faith. Faith is the belief in what is not seen but hoped for. Any creative mind that wants to succeed in life must have faith not only in themselves, but in their businesses, academics, personal and professional developmental endeavours.

No great person has ever succeeded in life without faith. They believed in the possibility of their business even when there’s little or no hope of survival. They dared to succeed.

In contrast, fear has been th singular reason for most of the failures men have recorded. Some people even give up before they begin their project because of lack confidence and hope.

In some cases, this fear is projected by friends, family members, mentors or even trusted persons who don’t really know or understand what the person is working on. They just simply believe the project is bound to fail based on the prevailing circumstances or challenges surrounding the person or business.

This is how to activate and stimulate the subconscious and inherent power of faith. Imagine as a young man, you have interest in a lady, but you are wondering how to approach her considering her perceived response. It is not out of place to have a perception of the kind of respinse expected, but then, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

One of the best things the guy can do is to dare to succeed by reaching out to the lady. In the worst-case scenario, the lady might say no. In that case, the man will be satisfied he tried his best because the worst feelings to have in life is the feeling of regret.

Alternatively, the lady might like the guy and just play to the gallery just to gauge the man’s intent and seriousness. If the latter is true, the man is deemed lucky for daring to ask.

As a student, business owner, parent, teacher, government official, or pastor just to name a few; if you have a project or task in mind, don’t allow the fear of failure, disappointment or obstacles to weigh you down, look into the future with bold eyes, and with the mindset of faith in the impossible.

In conclusion, fear and faith are two necessary criteria needed in the journey of life. The ability to nurture both will go a long way in shaping not only our personal lives, but also our professional lives.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: The Power of Faith by Henry Ukazu

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Greetings Destiny Friends,

“Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, Faith looks up”Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every journey of life undertaken without faith will surely end in frustration; nothing is guaranteed and there’s nothing worthwhile that can ever be achieved without faith. The reason is obvious; no one sees the end place before they begin a project. For instance, in business, one can never tell how far they can go if they do not begin; it is faith that makes a student believe a 4.0 or 5.O GPA on graduation is possible. It’s with faith an employee believes he will get to the managerial or topmost position in his field of endeavour.

Faith, ordinarily, is the capital to begin any enterprise, endeavour or life’s journey.

Let me make this disclosure, I’m nor referring to the spiritual kind of ‘faith’ in this article, rather I’m referring to the inspirational faith which progressive minds use to achieve the extraordinary.

It’s instructive to note that faith is a powerful force that can transform our lives and help us overcome obstacles. If you have a project or vision in mind you would like to accomplish, if you don’t have extraordinary faith, it will be hard to achieve your dreams.

Great and visionary leaders had absolute faith and believe in themselves and their projects. They were not deterred by the vicissitudes of life. As a matter of fact, they were inspired by their challenges because it enabled them to work hard.

According to NapoleonHill, in his book, Think and Grow Rich, “whatsoever the mind can conceive, believe, it can achieve it”. This tells you how powerful the mind is. It should be noted, success and failure start from the mind. If you believe you can do something, you will do it and if you believe you can’t do anything, trust me, you can’t do it. Even the Book of life states 1 John 4:4 that “…greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world”.

What is faith? Faith is the confident belief in something that is not yet seen or fully understood. As mentioned earlier, without faith, it’s impossible to achieve any commendable feat. Uninformed minds think faith is having everything ready before they begin a project. They have this mindset, if all the t’s are crossed, and i’s are dotted, what’s left is do the necessary. They fail to understand that done is better than perfect when perfect is not done. Sometimes in life, you don’t wait for the coast to be clear before you can soar. 

Just imagine the ship thriving despite waves in the ocean and the plane flying the wind in the air. That’s simply how life works. We don’t give up due to the challenges of life. Sometimes, it’s through the challenges we are fashioned. It’s just like the gold and petroleum which must be processed before they become refined products. So also, we must pass through some challenges in order to be processed, refined and appreciated.

Furthermore, when one has faith and believes in a project, the universe has a way of bringing interested minds, who are either passionate about the project or cause to support the being.

One may be wondering how faith works, imagine being hungry as a student, one will not feel the hunger too much if one knows he has food in his refrigerator. Now compare that scenario to when there’s no food. My late mother will always say, the most painful part of being poor is, if one does not have money and doesn’t know anyone to borrow from. Trust me, it can be heartbreaking.

 The importance of faith cannot be overemphasized, faith gives us hope, it strengthens us, it brings blessings, and it inspires hope and confidence.

The power of faith can enrich one’s life in many ways. Here are some of the ways faith improves our work and life.

1. Faith Improves Your Daily Work

When you love what you do, you will be inspired to spend some time developing your project. Faith impacts what you do, how you do it and how you live your life.  With faith, you will be intentional. Faith keeps you going. If you want to do any task, you need to have faith that you will accomplish it. If you have faith, you feel motivated to get things done because the faith will serve as a propeller.

2. Faith Helps You in Difficult Times

There is a popular phrase, “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” If you have faith, you will have hope, and hope will help you endure difficult times and uncertainties in life. Times can be bad, and you may find yourself drowning in despair. But never lose hope. Even when you lose your job, suffer the pain of losing a beloved, don’t have enough money, or face any other challenge, having faith means to release control to a greater power, the universe or God.

3. Faith Encourages Others

Do you know your faith can inspire and encourage others? Have you wondered how creative-minded people come up with new ideas or directions to take after failing multiple times?  They have faith that they can achieve their goal. No matter what comes their way, they remain focused and motivated, even after facing backlash from people. Their example can encourage others to follow the same path. You too can be the same way by having faith. People around you will learn from you. They will follow your lead. When you have absolute faith and believe in a project, people will notice.

4. Faith Gives You Courage

Courage helps you do the things that scare you. It plays a significant role in motivating you to act on something despite the risks or dangers involved. If you have courage, you show more strength in times of pain or grief. Courage comes directly from faith. For instance, you gather the courage to go on a job interview. You think you won’t get the job, but there is always a chance you will. You have faith in yourself and your abilities and take a bold step in going after the job, which can lead you to success.

5. Faith Helps you Discover Purpose

The ups and downs of life can take a toll on you. In some cases, it leads you to question why you’re here. But when you do, faith can save you from falling. It guides you to move in the right direction and helps you discover your purpose in life.

In conclusion, we all travel by air and trust the pilot to take us to our destination safely, we all use the sea and trust the captains to arrive safely, we all have faith that when we turn on the light, it will lighten up, why can’t we trust the creator we have not seen? When you trust the creator, believe in your project and believe in yourself, trust me, you will not only get to the promised land, but you will also exceed expectations.  According to Ralph Waldo Emerson, “All I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Be the Best Version of Yourself by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

It is a known fact that everyone wants to be the best in any field or activity they engage themselves in. But truth be told; being the best is not easy; it takes a lot of hard work, perseverance, consistency and patience. One must put in the work to bear the name he wants to be reckoned with because nothing good comes easy, apologies to the legendary Bongos Ikwue.

Being the best in life is not just about people, it also extends to products, schools, hospitals, businesses, sports, etc.

To understand how the best works, imagine a football coach about to play a final match; will he use his second team or first team? A serious coach will surely go for his best team if he wants to win the match. Again, imagine, someone who is sick, they will look for the best of doctors to treat them even if that person is an enemy, if they truly want to be alive.

Let’s consider the definition of best. The new website Dictionary defines best as “something of the finest quality”. A closer look at the word “finest quality” will explain why every employer employs the best persons for a job. When you work with people who are talented, gifted and at the same time intelligent, the rewards and blessings are priceless.

I have been privileged to work with some intelligent folks, and I will say without equivocation that Abdulakeem Sodeeq Sulyman, Ohimai Amaize and Ebuka Uchem are some of the best exceptional beings on planet earth.

Again, there’s no doubt, we all want to be the best, the question we need to ask is. Are we ready to do the needful? According to Usain Bolt, “I trained 4 years to run 9 seconds and people give up when they don’t see results in two months.”

Now, you see it’s not easy to be the best in life?

Before you can be the best version of yourself, you must uncover your essential values, interest and passion that define who you are in life and the world.

Once you’ve identified the person you want to be, you can plan how to become the best version of yourself.

The benefits of being the best in life cannot be overemphasized. Being the best makes one unique, attracts fame, and makes one rich and successful.

One may be wondering how to become the best version of himself?

The first duty of a progressive mind is to know himself. No one, who doesn’t know himself can succeed or be the best in life. It’s like being successful in your craft. You can make money without loving what you do, but you can’t be successful without loving what you do. When you love what you do and what you do loves you, therein lies your authentic success.

Another way to be the best version of yourself is by being unique. According to Oscar Wilde, “be yourself because others are taken.” In our contemporary society, we see a lot of people trying to imitate other people just because they feel they are succeeding in their professions, business, or craft. These uniformed minds don’t know everyone is different. When you know what’s unique about you, you won’t spend time trying to be like another person. The person you are trying to imitate made himself by understanding himself.

Again, it’s like someone who is passionate about a cause or business. When you know what you love, it’ll be easier to develop interest in learning more, and trust me, there’s a certain level of spiritual blessing and ingenuity that comes to one who is working according to their purpose and passion. Other people might be engaging themselves in the business or craft, but their level of success and favour won’t be like yours. That’s why you can imitate someone’s style, but you can’t imitate their creativity.

Your ability to know what’s unique about you will make you make the right choice. It will help you to  focus on what’s important, you won’t be distracted by the noise around you; you will meditate, spend your time wisely and network with the right people.

According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, “to get the best, one must do three things: resolve to think only the best thoughts, work for the best and entertain and expect the best results”.

Even the Bible knows the value and importance of seeking the best. In the book of life, the word says, “….whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things”.

When one is so focused on achieving positive results, the person won’t be concerned about focusing on trivial things. Most of the great people that made an impact in the world had a powerful mindset and they devoted their attention to noble activities.

Being the best does not come easy. One will have to go through pains just like gold and oil will have to go through a furnace to be refined.

Being the best is like working on a purpose, for which the journey and process of refinement might not be easy. Here, people might laugh at you saying you don’t have money, you are wasting your time and so on. Some might even say, you will die wretched working for purpose and advise you to be wise. Here’s my advice; regardless of the negative opinion or thoughts you may have, if you are truly convinced in your purpose, don’t give up. Maybe you are being tested. You may get a temporary side job to support yourself or family while working on your craft, but don’t lose focus on the big picture.

The moral here is, don’t worry about being famous or making money, the most important thing is being the best. When you are the best in what you do, your enemies will seek you, leaders, kings, queens, and influential people will seek you. According to Anastasia Soare “You have to become a master of your craft, and everything else will come”.

In conclusion, as you sojourn through life, affirm positive thoughts to yourself every day by saying, I am the best. Also, endeavor to give your best in whatever you are doing, even if you don’t succeed, be glad you did the best.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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