Featured

Love is not Enough for Your Relationship (Part 1)

Published

8 years ago

May 19, 2018

Eric

Although love is the foundation of any happy romantic relationship, love is not enough. In order to have a healthy relationship, both parties have to be willing to work on it. Below you’ll find 18 ways to keep your relationship strong.

Practice acceptance and appreciation.

The keys to mindful loving are acceptance and appreciation. Here’s a quote from Richo that expresses this idea: “In a true you and I relationship, we are present mindfully, non-intrusively, the way we are present with things in nature. We do not tell a birch tree it should be more like an elm. We face it with no agenda, only appreciation . . .”

Up and Downs

Recognize that all relationships have their ups and downs. Just as you can’t expect to be happy all the time, you shouldn’t expect your relationship to be at a continuous high. When you make a long-term commitment to someone you have to be willing to ride the highs, as well as the lows, together.

Use the word “we”.

Research proves that couples who use the word “we” when talking are happier, calmer, and in general are more satisfied with their relationships than couples whose communication is more populated by the pronouns “you”, “me” and “I”.

The word “we” is a game changer. It sets off a program of connectedness in the brain so that instead of being in a “you vs. me” mindset, we’re in a collaborative mindset. This collaborative mindset makes us more loving and generous.

Follow the three-day gratitude plan.

Having an attitude of gratitude will revitalize your love life. A Study involving 77 married heterosexual and monogamous couples found that with expressed gratitude “participants reported that they felt more loving.”

“They also reported feeling more peaceful, amused, and proud. They perceived their partner as being more understanding, validating, caring, and generally more responsive. They were more likely to have reported spontaneously thanking their partner for something they’d appreciated on any given day. And they were more satisfied with the quality of their relationship overall.”

In order to get started with bringing more gratitude into your relationship recommends the following three-day gratitude plan:

Day 1: Find three qualities that you love about your partner and focus on those three qualities for the entire day.
Day 2: Identify three things that irritate you about your partner. Now forgive them for these things.
Day 3: For the entire day speak only kind words to your significant other.

Think of the three day plan as a cleansing which allows you to clear out feelings that keep your relationship from thriving.

Keep the 3:1 ratio.

Over the course of a day we have a variety of positive and negative experiences. This is also true when it comes to our relationship with our significant other. Most people think that as long as the positive experiences outweigh the negative, everything is fine. However, this isn’t so. It’s the ratio of positive to negative that matters.

Research has shown that the magical ratio for a flourishing relationship is at or above 3:1. That is, you need to have three times more positive experiences with your partner than negative experiences in order to have a healthy relationship.

Keep the novelty alive.

One of the positive aspects of being in a relationship with someone for a long time is that you really get to know each other. The negative side of this is that the novelty wears off, and humans love novelty.

However, there’s a way to keep the novelty alive: constantly try new activities together. This creates the excitement and the uncertainty that comes from the unknown, even if you’re with someone whom you know as well as the back of your hand.

Keep the playfulness alive.

We all love to play, regardless of our age. Do the following: have fun together; do something ridiculous together; and just let go. In addition, the next time that your partner says something that bothers you, try responding with a joke instead of getting defensive.

GIVE YOUR PARTNER SPACE.

The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer used porcupines to explain a dilemma which often exists in human relationships. Two porcupines trying to keep warm will move closer to one another. However, if they get too close they prick each other with their spines.

The same thing happens in human relationships: we want closeness, but we also want space. The key is to find that sweet spot at which we feel the warmth that comes from being in a relationship, while at the same time allowing each partner to have enough space so that neither one feels like they’re being pricked by the other’s spines (feelings of lost individuality, feeling crowded, and so on).

SHOW EACH OTHER DAILY PHYSICAL AFFECTION.

Kory Floyd, Ph.D – a professor at Hugh Downs School of Communication at Arizona State University—explains that studies show that physical affection has a myriad of benefits. It releases feel-good hormones, it reduces blood pressure, it helps to release stress, it improves mood, and it’s associated with higher relationship satisfaction.

Showing physical affection can be as easy as kissing, holding hands, hugging, giving a back scratch, or putting a hand around the other person’s shoulder.

Use AAA.

Mira Kirshenbaum, psychotherapist and author of “The Weekend Marriage” explains that when your significant other is upset over something you’ve done, you should apply the AAA approach. This stands for apology, affection, and a promise of action. To elaborate:

Tell your partner that you’re sorry that you’ve hurt or disappointment them.
Offer a meaningful gesture of warmth, such as a hug or a kiss.
Pledge to take action that is meaningful to them.

Featured

Court Orders Final Forfeiture of 48 Assets Linked to Ex-AGF Malami

Published

2 days ago

July 15, 2026

Eric

The Federal High Court in Abuja has ordered the final forfeiture of 48 out of 57 properties worth N212 billion linked to the former Attorney-General of the Federation Abubakar Malami.

Judge Joyce Abdulmalik granted the final forfeiture application filed by the EFCC and dismissed several objections filed by Mr Malami, his family members, and some companies claiming ownership of the properties, saying they all lacked merit.

She held that the issue before the court was not “who owns the property, but how legitimate are the funds used to acquire the properties.”

The properties to be forfeited span Abuja, Kebbi, Kano, and Kaduna states and include luxury hotels, duplexes, plazas, warehouses, shopping units and residential estates acquired over several years.

Below is the full list of the 57 properties, including hotels and luxury homes initially seized by the EFCC through an interim forfeiture order. 48 of them will be handed over to the federal government following today’s court ruling.

1. Luxury Duplex at Amazon Street, Plot No. 3011 Within Cadastral Zone, A06 Maitama; File No: AN enhancement 11352, which was purchased in December 2022 at N500, 000, 000.00 (value after enhancement at N5,950,000,000).

2. Two Winged Large Storey Building Situate at No. 3, Onitsha Crescent, Area 11,Garki, Cadastral Zone, A03, Abuja (formerly Harmonia Hotels Limited), FCT, which was purchased Dec. 2018 at N7,000,000,000.

3. Plot 683, Jabi District, Cadastral Zone B04, Comprising of a five storey Building (Now Luxurious Meethaq Hotels Ltd, Jabi with 53 rooms/suites), which was purchased in Sept. 2020 at carcass level at N850,000,000 with additional N300,000,000 to take possession (value after completion N8,400,000,000).

4. Property No. 3130 within Cadastral Zone A04, Asokoro District, FCT, Abuja, Comprising Terraces, purchased in January 2021 at N360,000,000.

5. Property No. 3 Rhine Street, Maitama, Abuja (Meethaq Hotels Limited, Maitama With 15 ROOMS), which was purchased in February 2018 at N430,000,000 (current value after rehabilitation is N12,950,000,000).

6. Plot No. 1241B, Asokoro District Zone (No. 11A Yakubu Gowon Crescent) AsokoroDistrict, which was purchased in July 2021 at N325,000,000.

7. Shop No. C82 Citiscape — Shariff Plaza, Plot 739 Cadastral Zone A07, Aminu Kano Crescent, Wuse Il, FCT, Abuja, which was purchased in March 2024 at N120,000,000.

8. No. 4 Ahmadu Bello Way, Nasarawa GRA, Kano, which was purchased in December 2022 at N300,000,000.

9. Plot 157, Lamido Crescent, Nasarawa, GRA, Kano, purchased in July 2019 with no specific amount stated.

10. A Plaza, Commercial Toilets, Laundering, Warehouse Tanks Adjacent to Birnin Kebbi Market at N100 million.

11. 100 Hectares of l;and Along Birnin Kebbi, Jega Road, which was purchased in 2020 at N100,000,000.

12. Four Bedroom Bungalow Gesse Phase, Birnin Kebbi, which was purchased in 2023 at N101,000, 000.

13. Shops Nos. A36, B3 Vegas Mall, Wuse 2, Abuja, which was purchased in July 2023 at N158,000,000.

14. No. 26, Babbi Drive, Bua Estate, Abuja, purchased in 2022 at N136,000,000.

15. No. 27, Efab Estates Avenue, 5th Avenue, 59th Crescent, Gwarimpa, Abuja, purchased in January 2016 at N120,000,000.

16. Four Bedroom/ 2 Rooms Boys Quarters at No. 10B, Doka Crescent Abakpa GRA, Kaduna, purchased in January 2018 at N40, 000, 000.00.

17. Plot No. 13, Ipent 7 Estate, Karsana District, Abuja, purchased in June 2018 at N85,000,000.

18. A Bedroom Duplex & Boys Quarters at No. 12 Yalinga Street, Off Adetokunbo Ademola Crescent, Wuse Il, Abuja, purchased in Oct. 2018 at N150,000,000.

19. Two Warehouse Shops B40 And B46, Wuse Market, Abuja, purchased in July 2020 at N50,000,000.

20. Twin Houses at Zone E, Apo Legislative Quarters, Cadastral Zone B01, Plot 14014, Gudu District, Abuja, was purchased between February and May 2017 at N250,000,000.

Properties acquired by Khadimiyya for Justice & Development Initiative at the Academic Garden City, Birnin Kebbi, sold by the Federal Housing Authority Mortgage namely.

21, 22, and 23. Nine units of three bedroom, bungalow, three units of two bedroom bungalow, and 5.4 hectares of land, which were purchased between February 2023 and September 2023 at N187,000,000, among other assets listed in the schedule.

RAYHAAN UNIVERSITY, KEBBI STATE

24. Rayhaan University Permanent Site -N56,000,000,000.00

25. Rayhaan University Temporary Site -N37,800,000,000.00

26. Rayhaan University Third Site – N2,450,000,000.00

27. Rayhaan University Vice Chancellor – N490,000,000.0

RAYHAAN AGRO ALLIED FACTORY IN KEBBI STATE

28. Factory Buildings -N4,200,000,000.00

29. Factory Machines and Plants Units -N10,500,000,000.00

30. Factory Mosque – N2,450,000,000.00

31. Rayhaan Mill Staff Quarters – N1,487,500,000.00

32. Rayhaan Bustan Building – N3,150,000,000.00

AZBIR ARENA KEBBI STATE

33. Azbir Hotel – N10,325,000,000.00

34. Printing Press – N1,050,000,000.00

35. Gallery – N581,000,000.00

36. Gardens – N392,000,000.00

37. Mosque – N252,000,000.00

38. Azbir Clothing – N350,000,000.00

39. Azbir Pharmacy and Supermarket – N175,000,000.00

OTHER PROPERTIES HELD IN KEBBI STATE

40. Al-Afiya Energy Tanker Garage opposite Rayhaan University Health Centre, along Sani Abacha Bypass Road, Birnin-Kebbi – N2,450,000,000.00

41. Rayhaan Model Academy -N11,200,000,000.0

42. Rayhaan Primary and Secondary School – N8,750,000,000.00

43. Rayhaan Security House, off Sani Abacha Bypass, Birnin Kebbi – 245,700,000.00

44. Rayhaan Radio along Sani Abacha, Bypass Road, Birnin, Kebbi – N78,750,000.00

45. Uncompleted 2 Storey Complex Plaza located opposite Central Motor Park, (Eastern Park) Birnin Kebbi – N665,000,000.00

46. Amasdul Oil and Gas Ltd filling station Structure along Sani Abacha Bypass, Road, Birnin Kebbi near Jambali Automobile Workshop, Birnin Kebbi – 1,050, 000,000.00

47. Malami Support Organization Building – 210,000,000.00

48. ADC Kadi Malami Foundation Building – N56,000,000.00

49. Abubakar Malami SAN’s House GRA – N350,000,000.00

50. Abubakar Malami SAN’s House Behind Mobil – N490,000,000.00

51. Abdulaziz Malami (First Son’s House) at Gesse Phase II in Birnin Kebbi – N1,659,000,000.00

52. Abiru-Rahman Abubakar Malami (Second Son’s House) at Gesse Phase II in Birnin-Kebbi – N2,989,000,000.00

PROPERTIES IN KANO

53. Assets of Zeennoor Hotel at Kabuga Satellite Town, off Gwarzo Road, Kano with 131 rooms – N11,200,000,000.00

54. Zeennoor Mosque at Kabuga, Satellite Town, off Gwarzo Road, Kano – N84,000,000.00

55. Zeennor Old Hotel Building -N280,000,000.00

56. Rayhaan Hotel, Kano Located at Plot 27/28 Opp-Aminu kano Teaching Hospital, Southern Kano (Land And Luxurious Building of more than 50 rooms, with appurtenances- N2,240,000,000.00

57. Rayhaan Gym, Kano House Comprising of a Storey Building Opposite Rayhaan Hotel – N1,225,000,000.00

Featured

Gunmen Attack Kogi School, Abduct Principal, NECO Staff, Students Writing Exams

Published

3 days ago

July 15, 2026

Eric

Gunmen suspected to be bandits on Tuesday reportedly invaded a school in Olowa, Dekina Local Government Area of Kogi State, kidnapping the school principal, four students, and an ad hoc National Examinations Council (NECO) staff member.

The development was disclosed recently by a counter-insurgency and security analyst covering the Lake Chad region, Zagazola Makama.

According to him, the incident occurred at a school identified as Government Secondary School (GSS) while students were sitting the ongoing NECO examination.

The armed assailants allegedly stormed the school premises at around 5.25 pm while candidates were in the examination hall.

Makama said: “They abducted four students alongside the principal of the school and an ad hoc NECO official before fleeing to an unknown destination.”

He went on to report that a combined security team immediately launched bush-combing operations, intelligence gathering, and surveillance across the area to locate the kidnappers’ hideout and rescue those still in captivity.

Makama further noted that security sources had confirmed one of the abducted students had been rescued, while efforts had been intensified to secure the release of the remaining victims.

He concluded that investigations into the incident were ongoing as security agencies tried to restore normality to the area.

Featured

NDC Backs Makinde Amid Call for UN Probe into Oyo School Abduction

Published

3 days ago

July 15, 2026

Eric

The Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC) has thrown its weight behind Oyo State governor, Seyi Makinde’s call for an independent United Nations (UN) investigation into the abduction of students and teachers in Oriire Local Government Area.

The party said an impartial and transparent international investigation would help establish the facts surrounding the incident and boost public confidence in the ongoing efforts to unravel the circumstances of the abduction.

In a statement issued on Tuesday, the NDC National Publicity Secretary, Osa Director, said the party believed a UN-backed inquiry would uncover the truth, ensure accountability and deliver justice to the victims and their families.

According to the party, Governor Makinde’s request for a UN investigation was driven by the need for transparency rather than politics, stressing that all questions surrounding the incident should be addressed through a credible and independent process that Nigerians can trust.

The NDC also urged the Federal Government to support every lawful initiative aimed at uncovering the truth, strengthening public confidence in the country’s security institutions and preventing similar incidents in the future.

It maintained that the safety and security of Nigerian children should never become a subject of political disagreement or speculation, insisting that the lives of students deserve the highest level of accountability.

The party added that an independent investigation would not only clarify the circumstances surrounding the abduction but also reinforce confidence in Nigeria’s security and justice systems.

Governor Makinde had earlier called for a UN-led investigation into the school abduction, saying an independent inquiry would lend credibility to the findings and address public concerns over the incident.

The kidnapping of students and teachers in Oriire has sparked nationwide outrage and renewed calls for stronger security measures in schools and better protection for pupils, students and educational personnel.