The Bible tells us: “The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years yet is their strength labor and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.” Psalm 90:10.
We are blessed with three portions in life; the morning period when we are all over the place, under the care and watchful attention of parents. Those are the years of innocence. During these years, we are not accountable for our actions; neither can we be served alcoholic beverages nor cigarettes.
Societal mores and values are internalized and where in extreme cases we deviate, we are sent to correctional institutions for deviant children. Some are unlucky during these formative years as they are orphaned, and many lose their bearings in life.
However, many do not live past the morning of their lives. They are cut short like the lilies of the river. Like it was said in Jeremiah 20:18, some will ask why they came out of the womb to ‘see only trouble and sorrow and to end their days in shame’. But many are lucky. They get to see the afternoon of life during which they grow into adulthood, get married and get fruitful and multiply.
Depending on the grace of God and His benevolence, many swim the river of life and are able to see the arrival of the dusk of life when darkness of night begins to fall. It is however a law of life that we can never witness the morning of life again.
When evening comes, we are ready to depart to meet our maker. What then does this evening entail? The evening could be short, or it could be long and extend to the twilight zone. The length of the evening is determined by the grace of God: Who created the heavens and the earth in Six Days, and then…” [al-A‘raaf 7:54]
But no matter how long the night is, the morning will never come again. He could exhibit all the characteristics and traits of a baby, but he is still in the evening of life. “And whosoever We cause to live long, We reduce him to an abject state in constitution;” (Qur’an 36:68)
The gradual decline of health and strength is a kind and merciful preparative for the solemn change which awaits us; to soften the abrupt transition from the present to a future state of being.
There is a more interesting aspect to the evening of life and that is the loneliness of being: Being lonely in a crowd. In the past, life was more communal and there was no room for the lonely soul. However, with the onset of the proverbial nuclear, individualistic lifestyle; an import from the Whiteman’s land, which is termed modern living, man has become increasingly isolated and removed from his loved ones. In most cases, before the onset of the evening of life, the children have moved on in life to set up their own family. Visits are far in between and even the grandchildren are seldom seen. Only the few lucky ones get to see their children often not to talk of the opportunities of sitting down to reminiscence. In some cases, the wife might have departed or relocated to be with their son or daughter in the Diaspora to take care of their children; leaving the man for the vulture of time to devour.
There was the case of an elderly friend whose life was rendered miserable in the twilight years of his life. A very nice man of impeccable social connections. He retired as the company secretary and legal advisor of one of the ‘seven sisters’ oil conglomerates.
The last time I visited him, I had to wait in my car for close to 30 minutes as his house-man had gone to the shop to buy some things for the house. My friend could not open the gate or door as he has been benched by age and its vicissitudes. When I eventually entered the sitting room, it was dark because Baba, as we called him, could not stand the bright lights. He was alone; his children were abroad and the wife had since relocated to be with them. He could not watch television or read, only listen to an old transistor radio. He had been rendered onto the dark side of the evening of life. He was to remain like that till he died. What a life!
No doubt, he will have some carryover health challenges which would be harassing his life. That will be between him and his health-care giver. None of the children would leave their work to give the attention required to ameliorate his condition. Ask the inhabitants of the hilltops and the 50-bedroom mansions. It is very lonely in the evening of life.
The days of friends coming in and out are over. I used to marvel at the scene on Tuesdays at the Metropolitan club and watch with pity the men in the advanced evening of their lives exchanging banter and jollification over wine. That probably is the few occasions during the week when they have the opportunity of socializing with friends. And they gain a good mileage out of it. After lunch, they are always the last to leave before going back to their lonely cells.
In most of their homes, the interactions with their wives have degenerated into ‘good mornings’ and ‘goodnights’, accentuating the loneliness of the hour. Their interests in life has taken a divergence and to each with his own interest. If his eyes are good, we immerse him in reading while the wife becomes a television freak.
Life’s closing hours, should be distinguished by serenity and repose. You must not harass and perplex yourself now with occupations which were once both appropriate and necessary, nor repine because you are unable to exert yourself as in former days. Your strength is to sit still. Old age is the resting-place in the journey of life; and the feverish heat of noontide is exchanged for the refreshing coolness of twilight.
The evening of life is the time for sober reflection and should be consecrated to calm and elevated thought. Through the long period which has passed, you have not perhaps redeemed much time for hallowed consideration. Whatever has been your previous history — you are now, by the infirmities of old age, withdrawn from active duties — that you may muse upon coming eternal realities. How thankful should you feel that there is yet a brief space allotted to you for pious thought and preparation, before you go hence and are no more seen!
In the peaceful twilight hour, when we sit alone and commune with our own hearts, our thoughts naturally turn to the occurrences of the past. Little incidents, too trifling perhaps to speak about, are reviewed and dwelt upon.
And then we generally glance at the future. We arrange our plans for the coming day; we look forward with glad expectancy to the joys which are in store for us; or we shrink in fear and despondency from the troubles which seem associated with the morrow.
Old age is the most appropriate season for this consideration of the past. The judgment is not so likely to be warped by the heat of excitement, nor the feelings to be swayed by the influence of passion — as in youthful days.
Contemplate, then, your whole life from the dawn of infancy — to its present decline. But is it pleasant to look back? Are there not many places in our pilgrimage where memory dislikes to linger? Are there not many facts in life’s early records, which we feel happier in forgetting? True, the remembrance of our imperfections and our sins — is painful and self-condemning; yet it is always best to open one’s eyes to the truth.
The retrospect in either case is deeply humbling. Yet it leads to hope, and peace, and salvation: Both to the troubled mind and the penitent sinner.
But the consideration of the past should not only awaken penitence — it should excite gratitude. You have been wonderfully preserved from many dangers; you have been safely guided through many difficulties; you have been continually enriched with numberless blessings.
Surely goodness and mercy have followed you all the days of your life. Recall some of the multiplied proofs which you have had of God’s tender, parental care over you. It would be impossible to recount every instance of his goodness towards you — for memory is now sadly impaired, and forgets many of his blessings and benefits. Each comfort which you have enjoyed through life — came from his beneficent hand; each impulse to good and each resistance to evil which you have felt — was through the impartation of his grace. In Surah Rahman we were asked: Then which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny? (Quran 55:13)
Barka Juma’at and happy weekend.
