Adding Value

Adding Value: Associating with the Right People Matters by Henry Ukazu

Published

11 months ago

August 23, 2025

Eric

Dear Destiny Friends,

According to some schools of thought, the people one relates with have a greater influence on them, negatively or positively. These schools of thought strongly believe that one’s environment also has a proportional influence in their life.

There’s no gain-saying the fact that in life, association really matters. For instance, if you have nine millionaire friends, it’s more likely you will become the tenth millionaire if you are able to cultivate the right ethics, principles, values and more importantly, the right mindset. This is because making money, managing money, and growing money are three distinct skills one needs to cultivate because no one can attain lasting wealth until they are able to master all three, and to master them, everyone must understand how to relate and associate with the right people.

So, if you have a shrewd friend, who is good at making genuine money, it will also be great to have a friend who is quite good at managing money and growing money. I say this because one may be good at making money, but not so good at managing or growing it in the form of investments. That’s why in one of my teachings on ‘Money in Marriage”, I stated three cardinal rules: Whose money; who provides; and who manages.

Permit me to elaborate on these three fundamental principles. If you are married, please pay attention to what I am about to say. On whose money; as Christians, we are taught that when a man marries a woman, they are joined as one. So, I strongly believe when it comes to money in marriage, it’s not his money or her money, it’s our money. That line must be established because they are now one.

I understand this may not be convenient for everyone, especially ladies, but if couples are genuinely intentional in their marriage, they will know this is the gospel truth. If I may ask, why is it normal for a woman to spend her husband’s money, and it appears odd when a man spends his wife’s money. know that whatever is good for the goose is also good for the gander. Or did it change because of marriage?

Secondly, on who provides; it doesn’t really matter if the woman makes a billion dollars per second, but as the head of the family it’s the duty of the man to provide. Again, I understand there may be dynamics, but the facts must be established despite the associated variables. As a tip for ladies, no matter how much a lady makes, there’s this feeling of sweetness a lady normally experience whenever she spends her husband’s money, however, that analysis is not applicable to men.

Finally on money in marriage, who manages. Again, I care less about who provides, the best manager ought to manage the family’s money. So, if he makes the money but is bad at management, the wife ought to step in, and if the woman makes the money and she’s bad at management, the man ought to step in, and do the needful.

Speaking from experience, I have seen many marriages crash just because of financial mismanagement. Money matter is a serious issue that ought to be discussed before marriage, and even while in marriage to avoid springing surprises and stories that touch the heart.

Though this article is not about marriage, I also thought it nice to elaborate the role of choosing the right partner, and prove that right association really matters, especially as it relates to marriage and business. So imagine a case where an extravagant man meets a prudent lady and vice versa.

The importance of association cannot be overemphasized. In any sphere of life, whether at work, school, family, church or politics, association plays a big role. Anyone who lacks personal relationship with his fellow human beings will surely pay for it in one way or another. This is because relationships are currency. According to Robin Sharma, “the business of business is relationship, but the business of life is human connection”. This goes to show that we cannot do much in life if we don’t have the right relationship.

Even God the creator of heaven and earth, had to send this only begotten son to come in the form of a human being to die for mankind, and he did it by using the Blessed Virgin Mary. That explains that if God wants to bless a man, he sends a “man” and if the devil man wants to destroy a man, he uses a “man”. Both work in human flesh.

In my little experience of life, I have understood the importance of strategic relationships. I know for a fact, human beings are vessels of blessings and the ability to nurture human relationships is a very important skill anyone needs to learn if one intends to go far.

Most of the opportunities I have attained in life were simply because I not only understood the language of my benefactor, but also, I know how to strategically relate with them.

Furthermore, in life, one may be brilliant, skillful and confident, but if one lacks a good attitude especially as it relates to human beings, he might lose potential opportunities to people with lesser academic qualifications, who know how to relate well with people especially with a good attitude.

Again, despite one being talented with amazing gifts and skills, there’s a tendency of other people surpassing them with similar qualities and skills, so your ability to be humble to know you are not better than anyone is enough to make you learn from them.

On a personal note, as a sapiosexual, I try to associate with people better than me. I don’t care if I’m older than you or your superior in one form or another, provided I can learn from you, I will always stoop to conquer.

In another scenario, some people may not be particularly brilliant and perhaps like you, some would wish they were half as blessed as you are. One thing certain, wherever you may belong, between these two extremes, resolve today to state associating with those who are better than you, if for instance you are afflicted with self-doubt, avoid Brother Thomas, instead visit and cultivate Father Abraham the grand patriarch of the faith family.

I once took time to study great people with great businesses, and one thing I discovered is that they know how to hunt people with specialized knowledge, and also, they know how to delegate jobs to smarter people with skills, or talents while they focus on other more important strategic engagements.

Association entails more than meeting people in-person. With the invention of technology, association and relationships have really gone global. Online is now seen as the fifth estate of learning. A lot of people have gained opportunities just by commenting right on social media, while some people have lost opportunities by commenting wrong on social media.

Still on social media, a creative mind with a purpose must be intentional in following people, organizations and causes they are passionate about; the algorithm has a way of aligning people with what they see, like, and comment, and in some cases the algorithm has a way of bringing people it feels one needs to connect with based on the mutual friends or causes they share together.

Here is the deal, as you journey through life, be intentional to appreciate what you have and always make it a point of duty to associate with people who are better than you in what you do or intend to do.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@glo emi.com

Adding Value

Adding Value: Kill Worry Before It Kills You by Henry Ukazu

Published

3 days ago

July 18, 2026

Eric

Dear Destiny Friends,

No human being can claim exeption from worry. Studies have proved that every person has at one time or another expressed worry over a particular, personal or general. Worry is a universal emotion, and not selective. We worry about our friends, children, partners, spouses, finance, career, health, job interviews and sometimes, how to go about first dates.

Worrying is like a challenge. No matter how hard one tries, they cannot run away from it. Worry can be described as the necessary evil we can’t afford. The basic truth temains that so long as there’s life, worrying about something is never faraway.

Did you know that constant worrying, negative thinking, and always expecting the worst can take a toll on a person’s emotional and physical health. It can sap emotional strength, leave one feeling restless and jumpy, cause insomnia, headaches, stomach problems, and make it difficult to concentrate at work or school.

When you worry, you experience restlessness. You may feel physically jittery, or restless and unfocused at work or school. This is because your attention is so focused on your worries.

Constant worrying can keep you up at night and make you tense and edgy during the day. And even though you hate feeling like a nervous wreck, it can still be so difficult to stop. For most chronic worriers, the anxious thoughts are fueled by the likely negative beliefs they hold in high belief that’s likely going to happen.

The truth about life is that no matter how hard we try, we can’t solve any problem by worrying about the problem. Imagine being poor, sick, and experiencing a spiritual challenge, trust me, crying, apportioning blame, and complaining won’t fix the problem. What is expected from an informed mind is to fix the problem by proffering solutions.

In the words of a social commentator, Dr. Yomi Garnet, “worry is such an unfortunate habit, isn’t it? Admittedly, real problems do exist, but often we expend so much energy on problems that do not exist, or worse still, we create new ones by dwelling on a myriad of bad things that might happen but never do. Resolve today to be so strong that nothing and nobody can disturb your peace of mind”.

One of the major disadvantages of worry is the level of restlessness and sleeplessness it brings with it, meaning that worries can keep one awake all night.

Changes in social life. Worry can cause social detachment. The effects of chronic worrying can also spill over into your social life. You might find that you become short-tempered with people around you, or even self-isolate yourself from others because you feel so emotionally exhausted.

The question now becomes; how do we solve these problems and challenges? How do we overcome worry? And more importantly, how can we live above worry?

Speak to a Licensed Therapist

Speaking to someone can help to address his concern. According to Maya Angelou, “People may may forget what you say, people may forget what you do, but people will never forget how you made them feel. You can consider speaking to your parents, siblings, partners, mentor or licensed therapist. For instance, BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. You can ask your friends, family members, and people of interest how they cope with uncertainty in specific situations. This can help to improve social and mental wellbeing.

Build a strong support system.

Human beings are social creatures. We’re not meant to live in isolation. But a strong support system doesn’t necessarily mean a vast network of friends. Don’t underestimate the benefit of a few people you can trust and count on to be there for you.

Admit Your Fears

Let’s be honest, it’s practically impossible to feel truly thankful and discontented at the same moment. The first step in solving a problem is by admitting and recognizing we have a problem. This is because identification of a problem is fifty percent solved. Once we know a problem exists, the next stage is how do we solve the problem.

There’s no double fear plays a big role in why we worry. We worry about the future. Imagine being out of work and owing rent, it could be traumatic. So, admitting one has a problem of having no job and owing rent is enough to put fear in our body. To solve these problems, one ought to find a job. That’s one of the fastest and most resourceful ways of eliminating fear and worry as it relates to being poor or out of work.

Give Thanks.

Another great way of eliminating worry from our life is by giving thanks to God if one is a Christian. Giving thanks has an undertone of acknowledging problems, however, it says, I’m not focusing on it because I have a superior power over the problem and as such, I will thank my creator who is aware of issues at hand.

Again, giving thanks has an inherent message saying, this challenge is a test of my ability to overcome this challenge. The problem will make one think out of the box about how to address the problem.

Be Still

Being still despite chaos can be challenging. One of the ways of practicing this principle is by taking a deep breath, resting, reflecting, and meditating. This helps to clear one’s head to focus on important things as opposed to mundane things. It’s instructive to note that there’s a certain level of peace of mind that comes to one when one is still.

Pray

This is one of the most powerful ways to end worry from our life. Sometimes, there are problems that are beyond us, but they are not beyond our God. According to the Serenity prayer, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Sometimes, I wonder why most people worry when they can pray. Prayers can change a lot of things if we are intentional and do our own part of the bargain.

In conclusion, to live long and become productive, please quit worrying and complaining about what you have no control over and focus on what you have control over.

Adding Value

Adding Value: Make Efficiency, Effectiveness Your Watchword by Henry Ukazu

Published

1 week ago

July 11, 2026

Eric

Dear Destiny Friends,

To be successful, everyone needs to be effective and efficient in all they do. Success does not come from nicety, speech articulation or fine diction, spotless dressing, connections, good proposal or even from having a good product. Though all these factors might play a role, a business man must not only be efficient in their business, they must also be effective.

These words, effective and efficient no doubt, are so closely related, however there’s a thin line of difference between the two. If you stay with me for awhile, you’ll understand.

One might be wondering what the difference between being effective and being efficient is. According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, a prolific and exceptional ghost writer, efficiency is the ability to do something well without wasting energy or effort, whilst to be effective is simply to do something well. Let’s talk a minute to explain how this works. One can be efficient and not effective, and one can be effective and not efficient. But a truly great mind is both effective and efficient. When one is efficient, it means that he can do the work within the shortest possible time. This may be because he has done it over and over again, and have mastered its nitty-gritty.

There’s a saying, if someone can’t explain something to a six-year-old child, that person doesn’t understand the subject very well. I agree with this saying because when someone understands something, he/she won’t go through stress explaining it, and will spend minimum time doing it. Whilst for someone who is effective, he knows the issue or has a subject matter expert on the business very well. He can literally do it when he wakes up from sleep without rehearsing. So, in summary, an effective person saves time, while an efficient person explains better.

As progressive beings, we must be proactive with not only our life, but also our business, career, and whatever we find our hand worthy of doing. By doing so, people will appreciate us and support us. In business, one of the best forms of advertising is referral. When one’s work is exceptionally good, he doesn’t need too much advertising; his work will speak for itself. For instance, anyone who may have used the product might say ‘I have used this product or service, and I can guarantee its effectiveness’. Another person might say ‘the staff are very efficient, professional, and great at customer service’.

All these are great reviews. Trust me, one doesn’t need too many reviews to believe in the authenticity of what people are saying. They can sense a genuine review devoid of sentiments and vested interest. So, imagine a case where there’s no review, one might have a challenge in believing the durability and effectiveness of the product/service.

As a business owner, one must be intentional with respect to how he treats his employers and customers. What most uninformed business owners don’t know is that when you take care of your staff, they will in turn take care of your business. When the staff are happy, they’ll treat the customers well, and when the customers are happy, they’ll in turn tell the world. Do you see how effectiveness and efficiency work in a company?

In a similar way, if one is consistent in publishing articles every week like I do, opportunities are bound to arise soon when there’s alignment. As a business owner, I can authoritatively tell you being good at what you say you do is a currency. Nobody likes shady or dirty work. I can also tell you people are ready to pay for premium services provided you can deliver.

Let me share a personal experience with you; two months ago, I visited my home country – Nigeria, for a business opportunity. During my meeting with some established institutions, I had to submit proposals to them. But because I wasn’t proficient in writing proposals, I had to hire a consultant to do the job for me. Not only did I hire a consultant, I also flew him for business meetings because I trusted his judgment, and guess work, it paid off.

Imagine, if I had to do it myself, I doubt if the work would have been given the kind of positive attention it attracted. Why am I sharing this information? When one is good at what they do, it won’t take long for them to be seen when the right opportunity comes.

Being efficient and effective does not only apply to our professional lives, it’s also applicable in our personal lives. In the world we currently live in, things are governed by perception. When people see how effective and efficient you are, they will be inclined to associate with you, but when you appear like an unserious person, they will find it hard to recommend or refer you for business opportunities.

So, today, take stock and ask yourself if are you an effective and efficient person; if your company is effective and efficient. If your answer is no; ask yourself what you can do to make you and your company effective. The answer will set you on the right path to success.

Adding Value

Adding Value: The Inherent Power of Gift-Nurturing by Henry Ukazu

Published

2 weeks ago

July 5, 2026

Eric

Greetings Destiny Friends,

The saying, the joy of life is not how happy you are, but how happy others can be because of you, is no fluke. The statement emphasizes the importance of building human relationships. Relationships are skills that need to be nurtured.

Building and maintaining relationships is a skill that everyone needs to learn. But importantly, one must be intentional in the kind of relationship they intend to build because failure to cross the t’s and dot the i’s can have devastating effects on a person.

As human beings, sometimes, we don’t know what we have until we lose them. It’s instructive to note that one of the major challenges Third World countries have is maintaining culture. These third world countries find it difficult to maintain their roads, schools, provide good health hospitals, or build infrastructural facilities for their citizens. Even as human beings, sometimes, we lack this mindset of not maintaining or developing what we have. This is because we might know how to sing, swim, dance, play soccer, write or even teach, but we don’t develop it.

It’s instructive to note that the world is usually attracted to strength and not weakness. Isn’t it true that nobody celebrates poverty, rather they eulogize successful and wealthy people. So, if you desire to be celebrated, endeavor to develop what’s inside of you.

Let me tell you, nobody can celebrate or talk about you if you don’t talk or celebrate yourself, and nobody can save you without you making an attempt to save yourself. According to a former President of Nigeria, Dr. Goodluck Jonathan, “you can’t wake a man who is pretending to be asleep”. That’s a powerful statement insinuating the power of self-determination. When you develop what you have, the world will resonate with you. This is what I mean by the power of maintenance.

The question we need to ask ourselves is how do we maintain what we have? Well, maintaining what we have is not as hard as it may appear. All that is necessary for one to be intentional in developing and adding value to their life.

Everyone has a gift or talent, but the challenge we have is that we don’t take time to groom it. Beloved, if you don’t groom your gift, nobody will do it for you. If you don’t speak about yourself, nobody will speak about you. Sometimes, we want glory, but we are not willing to pay the price.

Furthermore, in every sphere of life, maintenance culture is very important. Failure to do so can make one spend more. Imagine having a car with a minor break, if the car is not properly fixed, it will affect other parts of the car. The same principle is applicable if one has a house which needs repairs. The principle of the broken window tells us when a window is damaged, it will be better to pull it out or fix it so we can focus on other things otherwise, it will affect other components in the house.

This principle is also applicable to business, politicians, academics, spirituality, health and family. As a matter of fact, it is applicable in every area of our life. According to Myles Munroe “whatever we don’t manage we lose”. So, imagine what will happen if we don’t develop our skills and talent. The grave is considered the richest soil on earth because of the millions and billions of talents that have been buried inside the soil.

As a budding entrepreneur, we have been told about the power of consistency. When one is consistent, the universe has a way of showcasing us to the world. Let me share a practical example of how consistency works. In 2018, I was given an opportunity to publish weekly articles by Chief Dele Momodu on this online newspaper. I took up the challenge and have been consistently publishing inspirational and creative articles that will assist entrepreneurs and progressive minds to unleash their potential.

Here is the catch, I have received numerous opportunities and recognition globally from resourceful organizations, in addition to meeting great leaders of thought who have developed interest in my work. It’s important to note that I wasn’t a great writer at the initial stage, but over time, I have honed my writing skills by interacting and reading from resourceful minds

For business owners, if you have a business, consider learning all necessary information including taking certification classes, training and networking with the right people to acquaint yourself to the extent an opportunity presents itself. Also, sometimes we wait for people or big organizations to give you big opportunities to showcase your work to the world, but we fail to understand that we have what it takes to attract global attention which will bring the big names and organizations we desire to come to us. But we are not willing to pay the price.

I can remembered when I started my business, I had no clarity of what I was doing, but because I was intentional to learn, I attended many online trainings and today I can boldly say that by the special grace of God, my organization have partnered with global organizations and United Nations Development Programme to train youths in Rwanda on Leadership. The moral of this message is that I maintained my line, I maintained my skill, talent, I developed myself, but more importantly I didn’t give up on what I have inside me. I may not know your experiences or situations or expectations, but if you can stay focused and do the needful, I have no doubt the world will celebrate you in due time.