Opinion
Never Ever Give Up on Your Purpose (Pt. 2)
Published
3 months agoon
By
Eric
By Tolulope A. Adegoke
“I must unveil it that you, as human beings have the enormous amount of choices to create and re-create, modify and re-modify the beautiful lives of your dreams. You should also know and understand that “Fate” and your (Faith) choices work in concert to sculpt the look of your lives. And it is in your conscious choice-making Faith) that, ultimately, your destinies are realized and fulfilled. To overlook or underrate this truth (fact) is to play the prey (victim). To disrepute or disregard this truth is to deny the ‘grace’ and ‘power’ that has been granted to you to create all that you ever need or want as a being. Therefore, engage wisdom, deploy the tools of knowledge and act with understanding by not giving up on ‘purpose’!” – Tolulope A. Adegoke Ph.D., MINIM, FIMC, CMC, CMS
Those who have been deeply hurt by life are generally the ones who can feel the pain of others in a heartbeat. Those who have endured adversity become humbled by life, and as a result, are more open, compassionate and real. We may not like suffering when it visits us, but it serves us very well: it cracks the shells that covers our hearts and empties us of the lies that we have clung to about who we are, why we are here, and how this remarkable world of ours really functions. Once emptied, we can be refilled with all that good is, noble and true. We should understand that trouble is a tool of transformation in disguise if we don’t get carried away by choosing to allow them to do so. Joseph Campbell wrote: “where you stumble, there your treasures lie.”
We must see ourselves as work in progress and continue to challenge ourselves to use each day as empirical platforms to evolve into the higher realms of our divinely (authentic) ordained life. The reality is that we all have work to do, no matter how much work we have done on ourselves, no matter how much we have evolved or enlightened we may claim to be. Each of us has flaws to mend, to fix, and wounds within us that cry out to be healed. It is now our responsibility as individuals to brace up and heal up by submitting ourselves to the realities of what courage has to offer and purchasing what it is through the currency of Faith. Faith is a booster: when faith surges, courage is boosted to perform its role for our conquests. Faith perfects our works and deeds for the actualization of our desired goals or objectives. Every one of us, naturally has a splintered soul, as we try to reconcile being spiritual with being human. And the deeper we go within ourselves, the more we realize how little we know, for real. A wise man wrote: “the top of one mountain is the bottom of the next”; that is to say, as we reach the summit or peak of the mountain we are currently climbing, guess what we see? Other peaks to scale (surmount). This is what the reality is in life; that is why learning and growth never ends, as it helps us to remember and reclaim the greatness and wholeness that, sadly we have lost. Though we have our human limitations, which we must not always dwell on, but admit and take up the responsibility of removing the blocks that have kept us small or stagnated from becoming unbounded, unchained, illimitable, indestructible and indispensable in your areas of calling (and generation). Materialism only makes us live life from the outside, rather than on the inside. You must have been through a whole lot of demeaning situations or scenarios, but you need to understand that we grow most from our greatest challenges, and this is why I sometimes tell folks that life is a divine set-up to grow and outgrow, to create and re-create, to born and be re-born, to live and out-live. You will realize that experiences were agents sent to help you clean (polish) our acts and push (charges) us to move through our weaknesses and overcome them all. Life’s biggest hurts are, in truth, opportunities in disguise for personal growths for positive transformations and reclaiming our authentic “grace” and “power” which was lost. Embrace them for the gifts they are and that comes with them.
Through the highs and lows, don’t ever give up! It is your commitment to accept the responsibility for your part in all that has unfolded and to reach our authentic being, which is the full stature of Christ that we have been charged to grow into, by carrying our crosses, and then follow Christ Jesus. It is believed by many scholars of high repute that much of what you experience in life has been pre-scripted. But, I must unveil it that you, as human beings have the enormous amount of choices to create and re-create, modify and re-modify the beautiful lives of your dreams. You should also know and understand that “Fate” and your (Faith) choices work in concert to sculpt the look of your lives. And it is in your conscious choice-making (Faith) that, ultimately, your destinies are realized and fulfilled. To overlook or underrate this truth (fact) is to play the prey (victim). To disrepute or disregard this truth is to deny the grace and power that has been granted to you to create all that you ever need or want as a being.
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Opinion
Opinion: Respect Us or Leave by Femi Fani-Kayode
Published
3 days agoon
March 20, 2023By
Eric
“Don’t stay in Lagos, and benefit from the leadership, infrastructure and economy Lagosians built over time, yet carry resentment towards them. You threaten violence and de-market Lagos on social media. You have options. Behave or relocate!” – Reno Omokri.
Let me open this short contribution by saying that I completely agree with the views expressed above by Pastor Reno Omokri.
Let us hope that those he is attempting to offer such wise counsel appreciate and accept it before it is too late and things fall apart.
I am constrained to go further by saying that I also share the views of my dear friend, brother and colleague at the Tinubu/Shettima PCC, Omo Oba Bayo Onanuga, who reflected the views and thoughts of millions of our fellow Yorubas when he expressed deep and legitimate concerns about the attempt by the Ibo community in Lagos to take over our land and claim it as theirs.
This is something that they themselves would never tolerate members of any other ethnic nationality to attempt to do in the east and neither would any of us try it.
The truth is that if you insist on living in someone elses land or territory you must respect them. And as they say, respect begets respect.
If you must live amongst us kindly refrain from poking your fingers into our eyes simply because we gave you the space and afforded you the opportunities that you have refused to offer us in the east.
We do this because we are a decent, civilised, kind-hearted, peace-loving and just people who believe strongly in the ethos of charity, plurality of community, efficacy of racial and religious harmony, peaceful-coexistence and full and unfettered integration.
That does NOT however mean that we are fools. Our history proves that we are slow to anger but irresistible in battle. It is not wise to provoke us or raise our sleeping sword.
Being too kind, accommodating and charitable has its price and it appears that we the Yoruba may have learnt this the hard way.
Opening up your home to a stranger and being your brothers keeper is one thing but giving him your head and all that is dear to you on a platter of gold is quite another.
The truth is that the Ibo in Lagos are no longer welcome by the people of Lagos. And unless they change their attitude quickly and drastically it may well be better for them to go home.
As a consequence of recent events and the outrageous and insulting “Lagos is a no man’s land” battle cry and mantra which many Ibos in Lagos espouse and constantly bellow and mouth, many of our people believe that Alaba International Market, Computer Village, Trade Fair and other places that they have occupied and taken over should be evacuated and vacated and converted to schools, deep sea ports, housing estates and amusement parks.
That is the level of anger and view of millions of our people today and we ignore those views at our peril.
They also believe that we should act fast and make the necessary changes in our attitude to non-Yoruba settlers and aliens and reflect on our propensity for being too “woke” and too liberal in our dealings with them.
This view was ably reflected by Rotimi Adeosun when he tweeted the following a day after the Governorship election in Lagos on 19th March.
He wrote,
“Congrats to putting an end to the issue of real ownership of Lagos. Going forward, let there be a review of the following: Land ownership and rent law.
Elective and appointive policy. Ethnic concentration of markets. Limits to liberalisation culture. Teaching of Yoruba history. Be wary of usurpers!”
Points taken and forceful, compelling and lucid they are too.
In his own contribution one Legendary Joe again reflected the mood when he tweeted the following:
“We voted in Lagos today not along political lines but along the lines of heritage. We voted for our pride. We made a statement that our liberal nature should never be abused. What we won’t attempt in yours, do not force on us. We voted to retain Lagos”.
These are insightful and incisive contributions and they must be taken very seriously.
They can best be described as wake up calls and the propositions and counsel that are being suggested and offered must be considered by all the relevant stakeholders in Yorubaland generally and Lagos particularly before it is too late.
Clearly thanks to the insulting ways and disrespectful tone, words and attitude of those that came from the east to settle amongst us yet covet our land and seek to destroy everything we value and stand for, Yoruba nationalism has come alive again.
Our gullible liberalism and naive wokeism has resulted in a dangerous, hard line and pronounced backlash which is fuelled by anger and which cannot be easily managed and contained.
Our people are now counting the cost of our innocent yet disastrous open door policy and disposition as a direct consequence of the excesses and provocative actions of the Ibos in Lagos.
And what is that cost?
If you really want to know let’s go back in time a little.
Permit me to take you on a walk down history lane.
When Nnamdi Azikiwe, the NCNC and the Igbo State Union tried to take over Yoruba land in the 1952 Western Regional elections he lost to Obafemi Awolowo and the Action Group by a very narrow margin.
I believe it was by two seats in Parliament and Action Group was saved from a Zik victory only because they went into an alliance with the Ibadan Peoples Party which gave them a majority of two in Parliament! That is how close it was.
Had it not been for that Zik, an Igbo man, would have been elected as the first Premier of the old Western Region and the Yoruba would have eventually lost EVERYTHING including their language, culture, heritage, land and values.
After his defeat Zik packed his bags and said the following famous words: “I shall return to the east from whence I came”.
Thereafter he went back to the old Eastern Region to be elected Premier.
71 years later the story appears to have repeated itself.
The Ibo, this time led by one Peter Obi, a shady and manipulative trader who was fuelled, strengthened and emboldened by his relative success and gains during the presidential election in the state two weeks earlier, tried to forcefully take over Lagos in the 2023 Governorship election by intimidation, threats and propaganda and by fielding a young and impressionable man by the name of Chinedu Rhodes-Vivour who neither speaks nor understands Yoruba, whose family derives from Sierra Leonne and Opobo in Rivers state, who has strong sympathy for IPOB, who was part of those protestors that wreaked havoc and set Lagos on fire during the Endsars riots and who, like his misguided, violent and aggressive supporters, claimed that Lagos is a “no man’s land” as his candidate.
Thankfully they failed and the young man was roundly defeated by Jide Sanwo-Olu, a young, diligent, hardworking, civilised, decent and focused administrator and bona fide Yorubaman.
It is now time for Peter, Chinedu and all their Obidient supporters to follow Zik’s noble example, tread the path of honor and either respect us and live with us in love and peace or go back to the east “from whence they came” .
They will do far better there.
We in the South West must do a lot of soul-searching and educate the liberals in our midst about the dangers of being too kind, too charitable and too accommodating to the alien land grabbers and usurpers that have infiltrated our territory.
We can show them charity, love and kindness but this must never be at the expense of our values, identity, dignity, culture or heritage.
We must endeavour to ensure that history does not repeat itself again, that this terrible cycle of our Ibo brothers repaying our good with ingratitude and subterfuge stops and that they never have the temerity and effontry to claim that Lagos, or indeed any other part of Yorubaland, is theirs again.
(FFK)
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Adding Value
Adding Value: The Rules of Success by Henry Ukazu
Published
5 days agoon
March 18, 2023By
Eric
Dear Destiny Friends,
Everything in life has rules and processes. There is every tendency that one may hit the rocks if for any reason he fails to adhere to the set rules and processes. It is only on rare occasions that the luck or “grace factor” can come to one’s rescue. In legal matters, one must understand the laws, rules and exceptions to win a case. In mathematics, one must know the formula while in medicine, diagnosis is a prerequisite to ascertain the cause of any illness.
The focus of this article is on the necessity of soft skills in achieving success. Note that rules bordering on success are not exhaustive; they are more like basic and insightful ideas one can explore if one is determined to succeed.
Just like there are many ways to kill a rat, there are also many ways to succeed. However, one thing is certain, one must follow and adopt relevant principles. Principles are universal, and once rightly applied, one is bound to reap the benefits. I will be sharing some of the principles a diligent, progressive and success-prone mind can adopt.
While reading, working hard and smart on your business are important, it is imperative to note that learning a skill, developing your talent and gifts are equally important success magnets a rational mind must adopt. Some of these success principles which I call success magnets are built into soft skills among which are building capacity, having a good reputation, being diligent, consistency, networking, personal relationship, good attitude, good communication, problem solving skills, creativity and empathy.
You may be wondering how one applies these soft skills? Let’s start from the area of building capacity. In any area you would like to get prominence, you must endeavor to learn as much as possible to gain credibility. When you have developed capacity, it will be easy to apply soft skills. It is sad to note that sometimes, some people put the cart before the horse, and think the universe will favour them. No, you must understand the process. No serious mind will give you an opportunity when you are yet to develop capacity. When you develop capacity, it will be easy to apply the soft skills.
Even if you haven’t developed capacity, you can creatively use soft skills to learn how to develop capacity if you have a good communication skill, great mindset and attitude.
These soft skills might sound ordinary, but trust me, they are very fundamental. This is because, even with theoretical and practical knowledge, if you don’t have these soft skills, you might appear unattractive. But if you have these soft skills, you can learn both theoretical and practical knowledge.
It is easy to say ‘I want to succeed’, but when we are exposed to the diligent and consistent work we must do, we’ll rather remain in our comfort zone. Trust me, I have been there, but I refuse to stay there because I have since understood that there’s no gain in playing little when you can play big.
On a personal note, I normally do all within my reach to give my best shot by preparing for the best and expecting the worst to the extent it goes south. As you may know, nothing is guaranteed in life, no matter how hard you work, or how much trust you may have in your work. You can do all you are expected to do and still fail. Yes, you can have theoretical, practical and social skills and still fail. In such a situation, just know that your time has not come yet.
It’s important to note that there’s no substitute for excellence. It’s either the work is good or not. To achieve excellence, endeavor to spend one percent of your time in an area of your life you have a strong interest in or whatever you are passionate about. By doing, you will develop expertise.
Another great rule for success is surrounding yourself with greatness. By this, I mean people who are exceptionally good in what they do. They might not be in your areas of interest, but if they are, that’s a plus. These people might be younger or older than you, they must have certain traits or values you admire, but more importantly, they should bring out the best in you.
Most times, in our quest to make an impact in life, we tend to focus on hard work which is good, but experience and life has taught me to focus on what ignites your spirit and soft silks can be the game-changer. When you channel your energy on where you are celebrated, you will understand the importance of value. Imagine working with someone who doesn’t understand the value you bring to the table, all your work will be considered as mere service, but someone with a heart of service, gratitude and appreciation knows the importance of value when they see one. This is the simple reason why most employers and resourceful beings make conscious efforts to retain certain people despite the noise outside.
When you are successful, there’s this level of happiness and fulfillment that comes to you. This success comes to you because you have done something unique like having mentors or role models. Let’s take a minute to discuss mentors and role models, and their importance.
If you will agree with me, success leaves clues where it derived its strength and foundation. There’s nothing in life that doesn’t have a foundation. As you journey through life, find mentors and role models who have already achieved what you would like to achieve. Just like you study what the happiest couples have done to stay together for decades if want true love; you can also learn from the experience of those whose marriage didn’t work, they might give you one or two advice that might be more beneficial to you than couples whose marriage never broke up.
If your dream is to be the best lawyer in your city or State, study what the best lawyers in your city or country did to achieve their reputations. If you want to be a World Champion, study the lives of World Champions, and learn how they did it. If you want to be a millionaire, find millionaire role models who you would like to be someday. If you want to be an entrepreneur, find a few entrepreneurs who inspire you and study how they achieved what they have. Without a doubt, mentors and role models are your shortcuts to unleashing your greatness. By learning from the experiences of others, you will increase your possibility of succeeding, and avoid unnecessary mistakes.
Give and Give: This principle is mind-blowing. As humans, we are naturally selfish, we do care for ourselves most times more than others do. Don’t get me wrong, you need to care for yourself first. However, for the purpose of this principle, I want you to know that you will get what you want faster when you help other people to achieve what they want. Life is not about you, neither is it centered on you . The average man seeks what he can receive from the world. The extraordinary man seeks what he can give to the world. When you assist other people without having an expectation, they will be glad to go the extra mile for you if they have an appreciative mindset. And of course, a lot of people do!
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s a Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright to Success. He can be reached info@gloemi.com
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By Tolulope A. Adegoke
“Everyone who is called great due to his or her attainments and heights of greatness, having achieved strange order of blessings didn’t just emerge there on a platter of gold but at a Cost! In truth, the cost of every greatness is SACRIFICE, but the sacrifice is incomplete without unwavering (levels of) COMMITMENT. Therefore, it is not easy to be EASY…when life’s challenges scream at you, you must consistently engage your shield of FAITH”! – Tolulope A. Adegoke, PhD., MNIM, FIMC, CMC, CMS
The most dangerous and underrated man is not just the skillful or talented man, but the COMMITTED man! The soul of a committed man does not die! Even his deeds live after him (posterity)…his deeds are open doors unto many lives and destinies…Jinx must have been broken by his tenacious lifestyles…
Men of SKILLS may become overly confident and wavering, but a committed man sticks to one thing at a time, then, gets things all done with patience, focus and tenacity (ensures he breaks through); but the combination of the two (Commitment and Skills) settles it all in grand styles of honours. Though, he may experience hunger, financial issues; he may encounter very strange types of human beings, but that will not still move or break him. Of course may feel frustrated at some point, but grace will find his soul from melting like the sheer butter in the rays of the sun and his faith gauge from dropping. It may get to a point that he would find himself in between two worlds, but surrounded by nothing… In all, he must have learnt greatly to be firm and strong in trials, to be patient enough to wait on God in his struggles, to be wise enough to discern, to bridle his/her tongue the more, to worship God the most in all, even in the thickest rejections of men, and to gaze on Him (God) even when his/her health is failing, but to keep loving innocently when hatred, envy and jealousy merges up to intimidate the Royalty and loyal strengths that he carries and represents. Then, all of a sudden, when such being gets to the point of sinking, God intervenes and delivers him/her from them all…
Committed beings may bend for a while, but will never break because they have a “bounce-back power” called Grace… which is a divine dew of ease on them as lubricants and healing- an indication of God’s resuscitating agenda from His throne of mercy that depicts Him saying: “I am with thee, I will help thee, I will guide and guard thee…”
Truly, it is the grace of God that completes a “course” and a “cause” to getting the CROWN!
A committed man must never claim to be “Self-Made” but “God-Made,” because “it is not by power nor by might, but by the Spirit, thus saith the Lord of hosts!”
A committed man is a recipient of immeasurable mercy, grace and favour from God and Man, including the creations of God and Man.
The final speeches of champions that are usually captured on the global set which marvels the world of such impeccable excellence and rare greatness are most of the time given through pools of background tears waits on God for interventions, several spites, dejections and rejections from the ordinary people who in the end applauds them for the rare level of excellence and the greatness that manifests through them (champions).
Be like the rose flower, it commits to its own growth even in the midst of thorns…yet, the thorns shield the rose flower from being plucked ordinarily by small minds…
The ‘thorns’ represent your challenges, while the ‘rose flowers’ connotes your greatness… You are rare species of God’s creation, therefore, I charge you to MANifest!
Be like the Eagle that weathers the storms to soar even beyond the clouds, while other birds are in their hideouts [comfort zones]. Remember, the “comfort zones syndrome” keeps you out from setting records!
Be like the ants, they are futuristic and goal-oriented…
Be like the pride of lions, they know who they are and are always committed to protecting this great value!
Challenges may scream at you, but WORK, FAITH, GRACE and PATIENCE would see you through if you would be committed to the right things at the right times, at the right place. It is important to note that: “Commitment is LEVERAGE!” Commitment gives you Bounce Back Power[BBP]! Don’t just envy success, but envy SACRIFICE! Never settle for convenience over DESTINY! You are way too blessed to ever dare to settle for an empty life.
Jean Chatzky has this to say:
‘Resilience isn’t a single skill. It’s a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus and be committed to your vision or desires [on emphasizing the positive]’.
The Law of Reciprocity
Any relationship or dealings that has no real reciprocity will die…Reciprocity is the order of life! Strong people will keep giving to you for a long time and eventually, if they do not see it coming back in a similar capacity, they will eventually become convinced that the investment does not worth a return…
If you do not learn to ‘give’ like you learned to ‘get’ (receive) in every area where there is no reciprocity, it will die!
Anything that takes more than it gives will eventually destroy the giver…it is not only biblical but scientific and ecological! Even God commanded the farmer to let the ground rest for a while for it to be revitalized with nutrients! Plants emits oxygen for man to live, while man exhales carbon dioxide for plants to live…it is a ‘give and take’ world system! It is a real-world of COMMITMENT!
I will not take anything from you unless I add something to you! I will be an asset and not a liability! If I stay at your house, you will miss me when I leave! I am going to add something to you before taking anything from you! If I join your church or organization, you will feel My impacts that something has been added to you! When you get me, you get help! In fact, I am an answer to your prayers!
The only number that doesn’t add to the sum total of the equation is a zero that lacks help to upgrade or maximize proper/reasonable effects!
What do people get when they get you?!
If you can describe it, define it and deliver on it, you will never be without them! Everybody wants assets, while liabilities get left behind!
You must be Committed to God, Family, “Church” [gathering of the saints] and to your DREAMS!
You cannot get people to believe in your Dream until you believe in it yourself!
Stop asking people to invest in things when you have no investment! Stop asking people to deliver to you when you are unwilling to go into the wild for yourself! Nobody is going to put into your dream before you put (invest) into it…you have to invest in what you dream for! A golf club is just a golf club until you put it in the hands of the likes of Tiger Woods, then the value shoots up! It’s the same set of club, but all you had was commitment… The same thing goes to our individual dreams…when a dream gets into the hands of a committed person [to the dream], who has been working when they were five and swinging it when they were six, nine and when they turned twelve…O yes! You will get a great return on it because somebody had invested on it!
Do you have anything that you are dreaming, that you are willing to be committed to enough to see it happen?! Or you go on [the] wishing well of life, wanting to receive on credits something that you are not willing to pay for?!
You must be committed to your dreams! I have never met anybody who became incredibly successful in any area of their life until they have suffered, sweated and sacrificed, kept their focus and fought through tears, trials and tests…so if you have a dream and commit to it, it will surely come to pass…though, the vision tarries, wait for it! It will happen! It may take a while, you may even have to take classes, you may even have to start the business in your house, but it will happen! My God is not just ALPHA, but He is also the OMEGA! He is not only the BEGINNING, but He is also the END! God started it, He will finish it! YES, He will! But your own part of the deal must have been completed by being committed to your Dreams before He [God]commits Himself into your course, to creating a CAUSE!
Anybody can dream it, but you can never see it until you are willing to be committed to it! Bishop T. Dexter Jakes gave an example of himself that, as at the start of his ministry (The Potter’s House), he started from his house. Sometimes, he worshipped alone, then gradually things began to change as he stayed committed to his dreams… God only concentrates on COMMITTED people! He is not a joker!
I further dissected the word ‘commitment’ as follows:
To Be Committed means:
BeCom(e)-(It)!
Be come it! That is, be the best description or example of your Dream, then fulfil it by taking the required steps without wavering!
Thank you all for reading.
Dr. Tolulope A. Adegoke is an accredited ISO 20700 Effective Leadership Trainer
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